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III! 

1 

I 

LIBRARY 

UMMUSITV  Of 
CAL1P0INIA 
tAN  01660 


HI 
lie 


- 


Lorrequer  upon  Parade. 

Harry  Lokrequer. 


Harry  Lorrequer 


BY 


CHARLES    LEVER 


WITH    ILLUSTRATIONS    BY   PHIZ 


"  We  talked  of  pipe-clay,  regulation  caps, 

Long  twenty-fours,  short  culverins  and  mortars, 
Condemned  the  '  Horse  Guards  '  for  a  set  of  raps, 

And  cursed  our  fate  at  being  in  such  quarters. 
Some  smoked,  some  sighed,  and  some  were  heard  to  snore; 

Some  wished  themselves  five  fathoms  'neath  the  Solway  : 
And  some  did  pray  —  who  never  prayed  before  — 

That  they  might  get  the  '  route  '  for  Cork  or  Gal  way." 


'C\l 


BOSTON 
LITTLE,  BROWN,  &  COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS 


Kntberaitg  JJtBfts: 

John  Wilson  and  Son*,  Cambridge,  U.S.A. 


PREFACE. 


That  some  thirty  years  after  the  sketches  which  form 
this  volume  were  written  I  should  be  called  on  to  revise 
and  re-edit  them,  is  strange  enough  to  me,  well  remem- 
bering, as  I  do,  with  what  little  hope  of  permanence  they 
were  penned,  how  lightly  they  were  undertaken,  and 
how  carelessly  thrown  together.  But  there  is  something 
still  stranger  in  the  retrospect,  and  that  is  that  these 
same  papers  —  for  originally  they  were  contributed  as 
articles  to  the  "  Dublin  University  Magazine"  —  should 
mainly  have  directed  the  course  of  my  future  life  and 
decided  my  entire  career. 

I  may  quote  from  a  former  preface  that  I  was  living 
in  a  very  secluded  spot  when  I  formed  the  idea  of  jotting 
down  these  stories,  many  of  them  heard  in  boyhood, 
others  constructed  out  of  real  incidents  that  had  oc- 
curred to  my  friends  in  travel,  and  some,  again,  —  as 
the  adventures  of  Trevanion  and  the  French  duellist,  for 
instance,  —  actual  facts  well  known  to  many  who  had 
formed  part  of  the  army  of  occupation  in  France. 

To  give  what  consistency  I  might  to  a  mass  of  incon- 
gruous adventure,  to  such  a  variety  of  strange  situations 
befalling  one  individual,  I  was  obliged  to  imagine  a 
character  which   probably   my   experiences   (and  they 


VI  PREFACE. 

were  not  very  mature  at  the  time)  assured  me  as  being 
perfectly  possible,  —  one  of  a  strong  will  and  a  certain 
energy,  rarely  persistent  in  purpose,  and  perpetually  the 
sport  of  accident,  with  a  hearty  enjoyment  of  the  pleas- 
ure of  the  hour  and  a  very  reckless  indifference  as  to  the 
price  to  be  paid  for  it.  If  I  looked  out  on  my  acquaint- 
ances, I  believed  I  saw  many  of  the  traits  I  was  bent  on 
depicting,  and  for  others  I  am  half  afraid  I  had  only  to 
take  a  peep  into  myself.  If  it  is  an  error,  then,  to  be- 
lieve that  in  these  "  Confessions  "  I  have  ever  recorded 
any  incidents  of  my  own  life,  there  is  no  mistake  in 
supposing  that  —  without  being  in  the  least  aware  of 
it  —  in  sketching  Harry  Lorrequer  I  was  in  a  great 
measure  depicting  myself,  and  becoming,  allegorically, 
an  autobiographist. 

Here  is  a  confession  which,  if  thirty  odd  years  had  not 
rolled  over,  I  might  be  indisposed  to  make ;  but  time 
has  enabled  me  to  look  back  on  my  work,  and  even  on 
myself  as  I  wrote  it,  with  a  certain  degree  of  impar- 
tiality, and  to  feel,  as  regards  both,  as  the  great  Paley 
said  a  man  feels  after  he  has  finished  his  dinner,  "  that 
he  might  have  done  better." 

It  is  perfectly  unnecessary  that  I  should  say  when 
and  where  I  wrote  these  sketches ;  no  thought  of  future 
authorship  of  any  kind  occurred  to  me,  far  less  did  I 
dream  of  abandoning  my  profession  as  a  physician  for 
the  precarious  livelihood  of  the  pen.  Indeed,  their  suc- 
cess, such  as  it  was,  only  became  known  to  me  after  I 
had  left  Ireland  and  gone  to  live  abroad ;  and  it  was 
there  —  at  Brussels  —  my  publishers  wrote  to  me  to 
request  a  continuance  of  my   "  Confessions,"  with  the 


PREFACE.  Vli 

assurance  they  had  found  favor  with  the  world  and  flat- 
tering notice  from  the  Press.  Though  I  have  been  what 
the  sarcastic  French  moralist  called  "  blessed  with  a  bad 
memory"  all  my  life,  I  can  still  recall  the  delight — I 
cannot  call  it  less  —  with  which  I  heard  my  attempt  at 
authorship  was  successful.  I  did  not  awake,  indeed, 
"  to  find  myself  famous,"  but  I  well  remember  the  thrill 
of  triumphant  joy  with  which  I  read  the  letter  that  said 
"  Go  on,"  and  the  entrancing  ecstasy  I  felt  at  the  bare 
possibility  of  my  one  day  becoming  known  as  a  writer. 
I  have  had,  since  then,  some  moments  in  which  a  partial 
success  has  made  me  very  happy  and  very  grateful ;  but 
I  do  not  believe  that  all  these  put  together,  or  indeed 
any  possible  favor  the  world  might  mete  to  me,  would 
impart  a  tithe  of  the  enjoyment  I  felt  on  hearing  that 
Harry  Lorrequer  had  been  liked  by  the  public,  and  that 
they  had  asked  for  more  of  him. 

"  If  this  sort  of  thing  amuses  them,"  thought  I  "  I  can 
go  on  forever ;  "  and  believing  this  to  be  true,  I  launched 
forth  with  all  that  prodigal  waste  of  material  which,  if 
it  forms  one  of  the  reasons  of  the  success,  is,  strictly 
speaking,  one  among  the  many  demerits  of  this  story. 
That  I  neither  husbanded  my  resources  nor  imagined 
that  they  ever  could  fail  me,  were  not  my  only  mistakes; 
and  I  am  tempted  to  show  how  little  I  understood  of  the 
responsibilities  of  authorship  by  repeating,  what  I  have 
told  elsewhere,  an  incident  of  the  last  number  of  "  Harry 
Lorrequer."  The  MSS.  which  contained  the  conclusion 
of  the  story  had  been  sent  through  the  Foreign  Office  bag 
from  Brussels,  and  possibly  had  been  mistaken  for  a 
despatch.     At  all  events,  like  King  Theodore's  letter,  it 


Vlll  PREFACE. 

had  been  thrown  to  one  side  and  forgotten.  In  this 
strait  my  publishers  wrote  to  me  in  a  strain  that  the 
trade  alone  knows  how  to  employ  towards  an  unknown 
author. 

Stung  by  the  reproaches  —  and  they  were  not  mild  — 
of  my  correspondent,  I  wrote  back,  enclosing  another 
conclusion,  and  telling  him  to  print  cither,  or  both,  as  he 
pleased.  Years  after,  I  saw  the  first-sent  MSS.,  which 
came  to  hand  at  last,  bound  in  my  publisher's  library, 
and  lettered,  "Another  ending  to  H.  L." 

When  the  great  master  of  fiction  condescended  to  in- 
form the  world  on  what  small  fragments  of  tradition  or 
local  anecdote  the  Waverley  Novels  were  founded,  he 
best  exalted  the  marvellous  skill  of  his  own  handiwork 
in  showing  how  genius  could  develop  the  veriest  incident 
of  a  life  into  a  story  of  surpassing  power  and  interest. 
I  have  no  such  secrets  to  reveal,  nor  have  I  the  faintest 
pretension  to  suppose  the  public  would  care  to  hear 
about  the  sources  from  which  I  drew  cither  my  charac- 
ters or  my  incidents.  I  have  seen,  however,  such 
references  to  supposed  portraiture  of  individuals  in  this 
story  that  I  am  forced  to  declare  that  there  is  but  one 
character  in  the  book  of  which  the  orginal  had  any  exis- 
tence, and  to  which  I  contributed  nothing  of  exaggera- 
tion. This  is  Father  Malachi  Brcnnan.  The  pleasant 
priest  was  alive  when  I  wrote  the  tale,  and  saw  himself 
in  print,  and  —  worse  still  —  in  picture,  —  not,  I  believe, 
without  a  certain  mock  indignation,  for  he  was  too  racy 
a  humorist  and  too  genuine  a  lover  of  fun  to  be  really 
angry  at  this  caricature  of  him. 

The  amusing  author  of  the  "  The  Wild  Sports  of  the 


PKEFACE.  ix 

West,"  Hamilton  Maxwell,  was  my  neighbor  in  the  little 
watering-place  where  I  was  living,  and  our  intimacy  was 
not  the  less  close  from  the  graver  character  of  the  so- 
ciety around  us.  We  often  exchanged  our  experiences 
of  Irish  character  and  life,  and  in  our  gossipings,  stories 
were  told,  added  to,  and  amplified  in  such  a  way  between 
us  that  I  believe  neither  of  us  could  have  pronounced  at 
last  who  gave  the  initiative  of  an  incident,  or  on  which 
side  lay  the  authorship  of  any  particular  event. 

It  would  have  been  well  had  our  intercourse  stopped 
with  these  confidences  ;  but  unfortunately  it  did  not. 
We  often  indulged  in  little  practical  jokes  on  our  more 
well-conducted  neighbors,  and  I  remember  that  the  old 
soldier  from  whom  I  drew  some  of  the  features  I  have 
given  to  Colonel  Kamworth  was  especially  the  mark  of 
these  harmless  pleasantries.  Our  colonel  was  an  excel- 
lent fellow,  kind-hearted  and  hospitable,  but  so  infatu- 
ated with  a  propensity  to  meddle  with  every  one,  and  to 
be  a  partner  in  the  joys,  the  afflictions,  the  failures,  or 
the  successes  of  all  around  him,  that,  with  the  best  pos- 
sible intentions  and  the  most  sincere  desire  to  be  useful 
to  his  neighbors,  he  became  the  cause  of  daily  miscon- 
ceptions and  mistakes,  sowed  discord  where  he  meant 
unity,  and,  in  fact,  originated  more  trouble  and  more 
distrust  than  the  most  malevolent  mischief-maker  of  the 
whole  country  side. 

I  am  forced  to  own  that  the  small  persecutions  with 
which  my  friend  Maxwell  and  myself  followed  the 
worthy  colonel,  the  wrong  intelligence  with  which  we 
supplied  him,  particularly  as  regarded  the  rank  and  sta- 
tion of  the  various  visitors  who  came  down  during  the 


x  PREFACE. 

bathing  season,  the  false  scents  on  which  we  sent  him, 
and  the  absurd  enterprises  on  which  we  embarked  him, 
even  to  the  extent  of  a  mock  address  which  induced 
him  to  stand  for  the  "  borough  "  (the  address  to  the  con- 
stituency being  our  joint  production),  —  all  these  follies, 
1  say,  more  less  disposed  me,  I  feel  sure,  to  that  inces- 
sant flow  of  absurd  incident  which  runs  through  this  vol- 
ume, and  which,  after  all,  was  really  little  other  than  the 
reflex  of  our  daily  plottings  and  contrivings. 

I  believe  my  old  friend  the  colonel  is  still  living ;  if 
he  be,  and  if  he  should  read  these  lines,  let  him  also 
read  that  I  have  other  memories  of  him  than  those  of 
mere  jest  and  pleasantry,  —  memories  of  his  cordial 
hospitality  and  genial  good-nature,  —  and  that  there  are 
few  things  I  would  like  better  than  to  meet  and  talk 
with  him  over  bygones,  knowing  no  one  more  likely  to 
relish  a  pleasant  reminiscence  than  himself,  nor  more 
certain  to  forgive  a  long-past  liberty  taken  with  him. 

If  there  are  many  faults  and  blunders  in  this  talc 
which  I  would  willingly  correct,  if  there  be  much  that  I 
would  curtail  or  cut  out  altogether,  and  if  there  be  also 
occasionally  incidents  of  which  I  could  improve  the  tell- 
ing, I  am  held  back  from  any  attempts  of  this  kind  by 
the  thought  that  it  was  by  these  sketches,  such  as  they 
are,  I  first  won  that  hearing  from  the  public  which  for 
more  than  thirty  years  has  never  deserted  me,  and  that 
the  favor  which  has  given  the  chief  pride  and  interest  to 
my  life  dates  from  the  day  I  was  known  as  Harry  Lorrc- 
quer.  Having  given  up  the  profession  for  which,  I  be- 
lieve, I  had  some  aptitude,  to  follow  the  precarious  life 
of  a  writer,  I  suppose  I  am  only  admitting  what  many 


PREFACE.  XI 

others  under  like  circumstances  might  declare,  that  I 
have  had  my  moments,  and  more  than  mere  moments, 
of  doubt  and  misgiving  that  I  made  the  wiser  choice ; 
and  bating  the  intense  pleasure  an  occasional  success 
has  afforded,  I  have  been  led  to  think  that  the  career  I 
had  abandoned  would  have  been  more  rewarding,  more 
safe  from  reverses,  and  less  exposed  to  those  variations 
of  public  taste  which  are  the  terrors  of  all  who  live  on 
the  world's  favor. 

Strangely  enough,  it  is  only  my  old  doctorial  instinct 
which  should  suggest  the  consolation  to  this  passing 
regret.  The  life  of  the  physician  has  nothing  so 
thoroughly  regarding,  nothing  so  cheering,  so  full  of 
hearty  encouragement,  as  in  the  occasional  friendships 
to  which  it  opens  the  way.  The  doctor  attains  to  a  de- 
gree of  intimacy  and  stands  on  a  footing  of  confidence 
so  totally  exceptional  that  if  personal  qualities  lend  aid 
to  the  position,  his  intercourse  becomes  friendship. 
Whether,  therefore,  my  old  career  gave  me  any  assist- 
ance in  new  roads,  whether  it  imparted  to  me  any  habits 
of  investigation  as  applicable  to  the  full  in  morals  as  to 
matter,  it  certainly  imparted  to  me  the  happy  accident 
of  standing  on  good  terms  with  —  I  was  going  to  say  — 
my  patient,  —  and  perhaps  no  better  word  could  be 
found  for  him  who  has  heard  me  so  long,  trusted  me  so 
much,  given  me  so  large  a  share  of  his  favor,  and  come 
to  look  on  me  with  such  friendliness.  It  would  be  the 
worst  of  ingratitude  in  me  if  I  did  not  own  that  I  owe  to 
my  books,  not  only  the  pleasant  intimacies  of  my  life, 
but  some  of  my  closest  friendships.  A  chance  expres- 
sion, a  fairly  shadowed  thought,  a  mere  chord   struck 


Xll  PREFACE. 

at  random  by  a  passing  hand,  as  it  were,  has  now  and 
then  placed  me,  as  mesmerists  call  it,  en  rapport  with 
some  one  who  may  have  thought  long  and  deeply  on 
what  I  had  but  skimmed  over ;  and  straightway  there  was 
a  bond  between  us. 

No  small  satisfaction  has  it  been  to  me  occasionally  to 
hear  that  out  of  the  over-abundance  of  my  own  buoyancy 
and  light-heartcdncss  —  and  I  had  a  great  deal  of  both 
long  ago  —  I  have  been  able  to  share  with  my  neighbor 
and  given  him  part  of  my  sunshine,  and  only  felt  the 
warmer  myself.  A  great  writer  —  one  of  the  most 
eloquent  historians  who  ever  illustrated  the  military 
achievements  of  his  country  —  once  told  me  that  as  he 
lay  sick  and  care-worn  after  a  fever,  it  was  in  my  reck- 
less stories  of  soldier  life  he  found  the  cheeriest  moments 
of  his  solitude  ;  and  now  let  me  hasten  to  say  that  I  tell 
this  in  no  spirit  of  boastfulness,  but  with  the  heartfelt 
gratitude  of  one  who  gained  more  by  hearing  that 
confession  than  Harry  Lorrequer  ever  acquired  by  all 
his  own. 

One  word  now  as  regards  the  task  I  am  immediately 
engaged  in,  and  I  have  done. 

My  publishers  propose  to  bring  out  in  this  edition  a 
carefully  revised  version  of  all  my  books,  in  the  order 
in  which  they  were  written,  each  story  to  be  accom- 
panied by  some  brief  notice  explaining  the  circumstances 
under  which  it  was  written,  and  to  what  extent  fact  or 
fiction  had  their  share  in  the  construction. 

If  such  notices  may  occasionally  be  but  leaves  of  an 
autobiography,  I  must  ask  my  reader  to  pardon  me,  and 
to  believe  that  I  shall  not  impose  my  egotism  upon  him 


PREFACE.  Xlll 

when  it  be  possible  to  avoid  it,  while  at  the  same  time 
he  shall  know  all  that  I  myself  know  of  the  history  of 
these  volumes. 

If  to  go  over  again  the  pages  I  wrote  so  many  years 
ago  is  in  a  measure  to  revisit  in  age  the  loved  scenes  of 
boyhood,  and  to  ponder  over  passages  the  very  spirit  of 
whose  dictation  is  dead  and  gone,  —  if  all  this  has  its 
sadness,  I  am  cheered  by  remembering  that  I  am  still 
addressing  many  old  and  dear  friends,  and  have  also  for 
my  audience  the  sons  and  grandsons,  and,  what  I  like 
better,  the  daughters  and  granddaughters,  of  those  who 
once  listened  to  Harry  Lorrequer. 

CHARLES  LEVER. 

Trieste,  1872. 


HARRY    LORREQUER. 


CHAPTEE   I. 

ARRIVAL   IN"   CORK. — CIVIC    FESTIVITIES. PRIVATE 

THEATRICALS. 

It  was  on  a  splendid  morning  in  the  autumn  of  the  year 
181 —  that  the  "  Howard  "  transport,  with  four  hundred  of 
his  Majesty's  4 — th  Regiment,  dropped  anchor  in  the  pic- 
turesque harbor  of  Cove.  The  sea  shone  under  the  purple 
light  of  the  rising  sun  with  a  rich  rosy  hue,  beautifully  in 
contrast  with  the  different  tints  of  the  foliage  of  the  deep 
woods  already  tinged  with  the  brown  of  autumn.  Spike 
Island  lay  "sleeping  upon  its  broad  shadow,"  and  the  large 
ensign  which  crowns  the  battery  was  wrapped  around  the 
flagstaff,  there  not  being  even  air  enough  to  stir  it.  It 
was  still  so  early  that  but  few  persons  were  abroad ;  and 
as  we  leaned  over  the  bulwarks,  and  looked  now,  for  the 
first  time  for  eight  long  years,  upon  British  ground,  many 
an  eye  filled,  and  many  a  heaving  breast  told  how  full  of 
recollections  that  short  moment  was,  and  how  different  our 
feelings  from  the  gay  buoyancy  with  which  we  had  sailed 
from  that  same  harbor  for  the  Peninsula.  Many  of  our 
best  and  bravest  had  we  left  behind  us,  and  more  than  one 
native  to  the  land  we  were  approaching  had  found  his  last 
rest  in  the  soil  of  the  stranger.  It  was,  then,  with  a  min- 
gled sense  of  pain  and  pleasure  we  gazed  upon  that  peace- 
ful little  village,  whose  white  cottages  lay  dotted  along  the 
edge  of  the  harbor.  The  moody  silence  our  thoughts  had 
shed  over  us  was  soon  broken ;  the  preparations  for  disem- 

VOL  I.  —  1 


2  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

barking  had  begun,  and  I  recollect  well  to  this  hour  how, 
shaking  off  the  load  that  oppressed  my  heart,  I  descended 
the  gangway,  humming  poor  Wolfe's  well-known  song,  — 

"  Why,  soldiers,  why- 
Should  we  be  melancholy,  boys  ?  " 

And  to  this  elasticity  of  spirits,  whether  the  result  of  my 
profession,  or  the  gift  of  God  —  as  Dogberry  has  it — I 
know  not,  I  owe  the  greater  portion  of  the  happiness  I 
have  enjoyed  in  a  life  whose  changes  and  vicissitudes 
have  equalled  most  men's. 

Drawn  up  in  a  line  along  the  shore,  I  could  scarce 
refrain  from  a  smile  at  our  appearance.  Four  weeks  on 
board  a  transport  will  certainly  not  contribute  much  to  the 
personnel  of  any  unfortunate  therein  confined;  but  when, 
in  addition  to  this,  you  take  into  account  that  we  had  not 
received  new  clothes  for  three  years,  —  if  I  except  caps  for 
our  grenadiers,  originally  intended  for  a  Scotch  regiment, 
but  found  to  be  all  too  small  for  the  long-headed  genera- 
tion. Many  a  patch  of  brown  and  gray  variegated  the 
faded  scarlet  of  our  uniform,  and  scarcely  a  pair  of  knees 
in  the  entire  regiment  did  not  confess  their  obligations  to 
a  blanket.  But  with  all  this,  we  showed  a  stout,  weather- 
beaten  front,  that,  disposed  as  the  passer-by  might  feel  to 
laugh  at  our  expense,  very  little  caution  would  teach  him 
it  were  fully  as  safe  to  indulge  it  in  his  sleeve. 

The  bells  from  every  steeple  and  tower  rang  gayly  out  a 
peal  of  welcome  as  we  marched  into  "that  beautiful  city 
called  Cork,"  our  band  playing  "Garryowen,"  —  for  we  had 
been  originally  raised  in  Ireland,  and  still  among  our  offi- 
cers maintained  a  strong  majority  for  that  land  of  punch, 
priests,  and  potatoes, — the  tattered  flag  of  the  regiment 
proudly  waving  over  our  heads,  and  not  a  man  among  us 
whose  warm  heart  did  not  bound  behind  a  Waterloo  medal. 
Well,  well!  I  am  now  —  alas  that  I  should  say  it!  —  some- 
what in  the  "sere  and  yellow;"  and  I  confess,  after  the 
experience  of  some  moments  of  high,  triumphant  feeling, 
that  I  never   before  felt  within  me  the  same  animating, 


ARRIVAL  IN  CORK.  3 

spirit-filling  glow  of  delight  as  rose  within  my  heart  that 
day  as  I  marched  at  the  head  of  my  company  down 
George's  Street. 

We  were  soon  settled  in  barracks;  and  then  began  a 
series  of  entertainments  on  the  side  of  the  civic  dignities 
of  Cork  which  led  most  of  us  to  believe  that  we  had  only 
escaped  shot  and  shell  to  fall  less  gloriously  beneath  cham- 
pagne and  claret.  I  do  not  believe  there  is  a  coroner  in 
the  island  who  would  have  pronounced  but  the  one  verdict 
over  the  regiment,  "  Killed  by  the  mayor  and  corporation, " 
had  we  so  fallen. 

First  of  all,  we  were  dined  by  the  citizens  of  Cork ;  and 
to  do  them  justice,  a  harder-drinking  set  of  gentlemen  no 
city  need  boast.  Then  we  were  feasted  by  the  corporation ; 
then  by  the  sheriffs ;  then  came  the  mayor,  solus ;  then  an 
address,  with  a  cold  collation,  that  left  eight  of  us  on  the 
sick-list  for  a  fortnight.  But  the  climax  of  all  was  a  grand 
entertainment  given  in  the  Mansion  House,  and  to  which 
upwards  of  two  thousand  were  invited.  It  was  a  species 
of  fancy  ball,  beginning  by  a  dejeuner  at  three  o'clock  in 
the  afternoon,  and  ending  —  I  never  yet  met  the  man  who 
could  tell  when  it  ended!  As  for  myself,  my  finale  par- 
took a  little  of  the  adventurous,  and  I  may  as  well 
relate  it. 

After  waltzing  for  about  an  hour  with  one  of  the  pretti- 
est girls  I  ever  set  eyes  upon,  and  getting  a  tender  squeeze 
of  the  hand  as  I  restored  her  to  a  most  affable-looking  old 
lady  in  a  blue  turban  and  a  red  velvet  gown,  who  smiled 
benignly  at  me  and  called  me  "Meejor,"  I  retired,  to 
recruit  for  a  new  attack,  to  a  small  table  where  three  of 
ours  were  quaffing  ponche  a  la  Romaine,  with  a  crowd 
of  Corkagians  about  them  eagerly  inquiring  after  some 
heroes  of  their  own  city  whose  deeds  of  arms  they  were 
surprised  did  not  obtain  special  mention  from  "the  Duke." 
I  soon  ingratiated  myself  into  this  well-occupied  clique, 
and  dosed  them  with  glory  to  their  hearts'  content.  I 
resolved  at  once  to  enter  into  their  humor;  and  as  the 
"ponche"  mounted  up  to  my  brain,  I  gradually  found  my 


4  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

acquaintanceship  extend  to  every  family  and  connection  in 
the  country. 

"Did  ye  know  Phil  Beamish,  of  the  3 — th,  sir?"  saM  ;i 
tall,  red-faced,  red-whiskered,  well-louking  gentleman,  who 
bore  no  slight  resemblance  to  Feargus  O'Connor. 

"Phil  Beamish!"  said  I.  "Indeed  I  did,  sir,  and  do 
still;  and  there  is  not  a  man  in  the  British  army  I  am 
prouder  of  knowing."  Here,  by  the  way,  I  may  mention 
that  I  never  heard  the  name  till  that  moment. 

"You  don't  say  so,  sir?"  said  Feargus,  for  so  I  must 
call  him,  for  shortness'  sake.  "Has  he  any  chance  of  the 
company  yet,  sir  ?  " 

"Company!"  said  I,  in  astonishment.  "He  obtained 
his  majority  three  months  since.  You  cannot  possibly 
have  heard  from  him  lately,  or  you  would  have  known 
that  ?  " 

"That's  true,  sir.  I  never  heard  since  he  quitted  the 
3 — th  to  go  to  Versailles,  I  think  they  call  it,  for  his 
health.     But  how  did  he  get  the  step,   sir  ? " 

"Why,  as  to  the  company,  that  was  remarkable 
enough  ! "  said  I,  cpiaffing  off  a  tumbler  of  champagne 
to  assist  my  invention.  "You  know  it  was  about  four 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon  of  the  18th  that  Napoleon  ordered 
Grouchy  to  advance  with  the  first  and  second  brigade  of 
the  Old  Guard  and  two  regiments  of  chasseurs  and  attack 
the  position  occupied  by  Picton  and  the  regiments  under 
his  command.  Well,  sir,  on  they  came,  masked  by  the 
smoke  of  a  terrific  discharge  of  artillery,  stationed  on  a 
small  eminence  to  our  left,  and  which  did  tremendous 
execution  among  our  poor  fellows;  on  they  came,  sir,  and 
as  the  smoke  cleared  partially  away,  we  got  a  glimpse  of 
them,  and  a  more  dangerous-looking  set  I  should  not  desire 
to  see, — grizzly-bearded,  hard-featured,  bronzed  fellows, 
about  five  and  thirty  or  forty  years  of  age;  their  beauty 
not  a  whit  improved  by  the  red  glare  thrown  upon  their 
faces  and  along  the  whole  line  by  each  flash  of  the  long 
twenty-fours  that  were  playing  away  to  the  right.  Just 
at  this  moment  Picton  rode  down  the  line  with  his  staff, 


ARRIVAL  IN  CORK.  5 

and  stopping  within  a  few  paces  of  me,  said,  '  They  're 
coming  up!  Steady,  boys;  steady  now!  We  shall  have 
something  to  do  soon! '  And  then  turning  sharply  round, 
he  looked  in  the  direction  of  the  French  battery,  that  was 
thundering  away  again  in  full  force.  '  Ah !  that  must  be 
silenced, '  said  he.     '  Where  's  Beamish?  '  " 

"  Says  Picton  ! "  interrupted  Feargus,  his  eyes  starting 
from  their  sockets,  and  his  mouth  growing  wider  every 
moment,  as  he  listened  with  the  most  intense  interest. 

"  Yes, "  said  I,  slowly.  And  then,  with  all  the  provok- 
ing nonchalance  of  an  Italian  improvisatore,  who  always 
halts  at  the  most  exciting  point  of  his  narrative,  I 
begged  a  listener  near  me  to  fill  my  glass  from  the  iced 
punch  beside  him.  Not  a  sound  was  heard  as  I  lifted  the 
bumper  to  my  lips ;  all  were  breathless  in  their  wound-up 
anxiety  to  hear  of  their  countryman  who  had  been  selected 
by  Picton  —  for  what,  too,  they  knew  not  yet,  and,  indeed, 
at  that  instant  I  did  not  know  myself,  and  nearly  laughed 
outright,  for  the  two  of  ours  who  had  remained  at  the 
table  had  so  well  employed  their  interval  of  ease  as  to 
become  very  pleasantly  drunk,  and  were  listening  to  my 
confounded  story  with  all  the  gravity  and  seriousness  in 
the  world.  '"Where's  Beamish?'  said  Picton.  'Here, 
sir,'  said  Phil,  stepping  out  from  the  line,  and  touching 
his  cap  to  the  general,  who,  taking  him  apart  for  a  few 
minutes,  spoke  to  him  with  great  animation.  We  did  not 
know  what  he  said;  but  before  five  minutes  were  over, 
there  was  Phil  with  three  companies  of  light-bobs  drawn 
up  at  our  left;  their  muskets  at  the  charge,  they  set  off 
at  a  round  trot  down  the  little  steep  which  closed  our 
flank.  We  had  not  much  time  to  follow  their  movements, 
for  our  own  amusement  began  soon ;  but  I  well  remember, 
after  repelling  the  French  attack  and  standing  in  square 
against  two  heavy  charges  of  cuirassiers,  the  first  thing  I 
saw,  where  the  French  battery  had-stood,  was  Phil  Beamish 
and  about  a  handful  of  brave  fellows,  all  that  remained 
from  the  skirmish.  He  captured  two  of  the  enemy's  field- 
pieces,  and  was  '  Captain  Beamish  '  on  the  day  after, 


6  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Long  life  to  him!  "  said  at  least  a  dozen  voices  behind 
and  about  me,  while  a  general  clinking  of  decanters  and 
smacking  of  lips  betokened  that  Phil's  health,  with  all  the 
honors,  was  being  celebrated.  For  myself,  I  was  really  so 
engrossed  by  my  narrative,  and  so  excited  by  the  "  ponche, " 
that  I  saw  or  heard  very  little  of  what  was  passing  around, 
and  have  only  a  kind  of  dim  recollection  of  being  seized 
by  the  hand  by  "Feargus,"  who  was  Beamish's  brother, 
and  who,  in  the  fulness  of  his  heart,  would  have  hugged 
me  to  his  breast,  if  I  had  not  opportunely  been  so  over- 
powered as  to  fall  senseless  under  the  table. 

When  I  first  returned  to  consciousness,  I  found  myself 
lying  exactly  where  I  had  fallen.  Around  me  lay  heaps  of 
slain,  the  two  of  "ours  "  among  the  number.  One  of  them 
—  I  remember  he  was  the  Adjutant  —  held  in  his  hand  a 
wax  candle  (two  to  the  pound).  Whether  he  had  himself 
seized  it  in  the  enthusiasm  of  my  narrative  of  flood  and 
field,  or  it  had  been  put  there  by  another,  I  know  not;  but 
he  certainly  cut  a  droll  figure.  The  room  we  were  in  was 
a  small  one  off  the  great  saloon,  and  through  the  half -open 
folding-door  I  could  clearly  perceive  that  the  festivities 
were  still  continued.  The  crash  of  fiddles  and  French 
horns  and  the  tramp  of  feet,  which  had  lost  much  of  their 
elasticity  since  the  entertainment  began,  rang  through  my 
ears,  mingled  with  the  sounds,  "Down  the  middle," 
"Hands  across,"  "Here's  your  partner,  captain."  What 
hour  of  the  night  or  morning  it  then  was,  I  could  not 
guess;  but  certainly  the  vigor  of  the  party  seemed  little 
abated,  if  I  might  judge  from  the  specimen  before  me,  and 
the  testimony  of  a  short,  plethoric  gentleman  who  stood 
wiping  his  bald  head,  after  conducting  his  partner  down 
twenty -eight  couple,  and  who,  turning  to  his  friend,  said, 
"Oh,  the  distance  is  nothing;  but  it  is  the  pace  that  kills!  " 

The  first  evidence  I  showed  of  any  return  to  reason  was 
a  strong  anxiety  to  be  at  my  quarters ;  but  how  to  get  there 
I  knew  not.  The  faint  glimmering  of  sense  I  possessed 
told  me  that  "to  stand  was  to  fall,"  and  I  was  ashamed  to 
go  on  all -fours,  which  prudence  suggested. 


ARRIVAL  IN  CORK.  7 

At  this  moment  I  remembered  I  had  brought  with  me 
my  cane,  which,  from  a  perhaps  pardonable  vanity,  I  was 
fond  of  parading.  It  was  a  present  from  the  officers  of 
my  regiment  (many  of  them,  alas!  since  dead),  and  had  a 
most  splendid  gold  head,  with  a  stag  at  the  top,  —  the  arms 
of  the  regiment.  This  I  would  not  have  lost  for  any  con- 
sideration I  can  mention;  and  this  now  was  gone!  T  looked 
around  me  on  every  side;  I  groped  beneath  the  table;  I 
turned  the  sleeping  sots  who  lay  about  me  in  no  very  gentle 
fashion :  but,  alas !  it  was  gone.  I  sprang  to  my  feet,  and 
only  then  remembered  how  unfit  I  was  to  follow  up  the 
search,  as  tables,  chairs,  lights,  and  people  seemed  all 
rocking  and  waving  before  me.  However,  I  succeeded  in 
making  my  way  through  one  room  into  another,  sometimes 
guiding  my  steps  along  the  walls;  and  once,  as  I  recollect, 
striking  the  diagonal  of  a  room,  I  bisected  a  quadrille  with 
such  ill-directed  speed  as  to  run  foul  of  a  Cork  dandy  and 
his  partner  who  were  just  performing  the  en  avant ;  but 
though  I  saw  them  lie  tumbled  in  the  dust  by  the  shock 
of  my  encounter,  —  for  I  had  upset  them,  —  I  still  held  on 
the  even  tenor  of  my  way.  In  fact,  I  had  feeling  for  but 
one  loss;  and,  still  in  pursuit  of  my  cane,  I  reached  the 
hall-door.  Now,  be  it  known  that  the  architecture  of  the 
Cork  Mansion  House  has  but  one  fault;  but  that  fault  is  a 
grand  one,  and  a  strong  evidence  of  how  unsuited  English 
architects  are  to  provide  buildings  for  a  people  whose 
tastes  and  habits  they  but  imperfectly  understand.  Be 
it  known,  then,  that  the  descent  from  the  hall-door  to  the 
street  was  by  a  flight  of  twelve  stone  steps.  How  I  should 
ever  get  down  these  was  now  my  difficulty.  If  Falstaff 
deplored  "eight  yards  of  uneven  ground  as  being  three 
score  and  ten  miles  a  foot,"  with  equal  truth  did  I  feel 
that  these  twelve  awful  steps  were  worse  to  me  than  would 
be  M'Gillicuddy's  Keeks  in  the  daylight  and  with  a  head 
clear  from  champagne. 

While  I  yet  hesitated,  the  problem  resolved  itself;  for 
gazing  down  upon  the  bright  gravel,  brilliantly  lighted  by 
the  surrounding  lamps,  I  lost  my  balance  and  came  turn' 


8  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

bling  and  rolling  from  top  to  bottom,  where  1  fell  upon  a 
large  mass  of  some  soft  substance  to  which,  in  all  proba- 
bility, I  owe  my  life.  In  a  few  seconds  I  recovered  my 
senses;  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  find  that  the  downy 
cushion  beneath  snored  most  audibly!  T  moved  a  little  to 
one  side,  and  then  discovered  that  in  reality  it  was  nothing 
less  than  an  alderman  of  Cork,  who,  from  his  position,  I 
concluded  had  shared  the  same  fate  with  myself.  There 
he  lay,  "like  a  warrior  taking  his  rest,"  but  not  with  his 
"martial  cloak  around  him,"  but  a  much  more  comfortable 
and  far  more  costly  robe,  —  a  scarlet  gown  of  office,  —  with 
huge  velvet  cuffs  and  a  great  cape  of  the  same  material. 
True  courage  consists  in  presence  of  mind;  and  here  mine 
came  to  my  aid  at  once.  Recollecting  the  loss  I  had  just 
sustained,  and  perceiving  that  all  was  still  about  me,  with 
that  right  Peninsular  maxim  that  reprisals  are  fair  in  an 
enemy's  camp,  I  proceeded  to  strip  the  slain;  and  with 
some  little  difficulty,  —  partly,  indeed,  owing  to  my  own 
unsteadiness  on  my  legs, — I  succeeded  in  denuding  the 
worthy  alderman,  who  gave  no  other  sign  of  life  during  the 
operation  than  an  abortive  effort  to  "hip,  hip,  hurrah,"  in 
which  I  left  him,  having  put  on  the  spoil,  and  set  out  on 
my  way  to  the  barrack  with  as  much  dignity  of  manner  as 
I  could  assume  in  honor  of  my  costume.  And  here  I  may 
mention  (in  a  parenthesis)  that  a  more  comfortable  morn- 
ing-gown no  man  ever  posssessed,  and  in  its  wide,  luxuriant 
folds  I  revel  while  I  write  these  lines. 

When  T  awoke  on  the  following  day  I  had  considerable 
difficulty  in  tracing  the  events  of  the  past  evening.  The 
great  scarlet  cloak,  however,  unravelled  much  of  the  mys- 
tery, and  gradually  the  whole  of  my  career  became  clear 
before  me,  with  the  single  exception  of  the  episode  of  Phil 
Beamish,  about  which  my  memory  was  subsequently  re- 
freshed. But  I  anticipate.  Only  five  appeared  that  day 
at  mess ;  and,  Lord !  what  spectres  they  were !  —  yellow 
as  guineas.  They  called  for  soda-water  without  ceasing, 
and  scarcely  spoke  a  word  to  each  other.  It  was  plain  that 
the  corporation  of  Cork  was  committing  more  havoc  among 


ARRIVAL  IN   CORK.  9 

us  than  Corunna  or  Waterloo,  and  that  if  we  did  not  change 
our  quarters,  there  would  be  quick  promotion  in  the  corps 
for  such  as  were  "seasoned  gentlemen."  After  a  day  or 
two  we  met  again  together,  and  then,  what  adventures  were 
told !  —  each  man  had  his  own  story  to  narrate ;  and  from 
the  occurrences  detailed,  one  would  have  supposed  years 
had  been  passing  instead  of  the  short  hours  of  an  evening 
party.  Mine  were,  indeed,  among  the  least  remarkable; 
but  I  confess  that  the  air  of  vraisemblance  produced  by  my 
production  of  the  aldermanic  gown  gave  me  the  palm  above 
all  competitors. 

Such  was  our  life  in  Cork,  — dining,  drinking,  dancing, 
riding,  steeple-chasing,  pigeon-shooting,  and  tandem-driv- 
ing, tilling  up  any  little  interval  that  was  found  to  exist 
between  a  late  breakfast  and  the  time  to  dress  for  dinner; 
and  here  I  hope  I  shall  not  be  accused  of  a  tendency  to 
boasting  while  I  add  that  among  all  ranks  and  degrees  of 
men,  and  women  too,  there  never  was  a  regiment  more 
highly  in  estimation  than  the  4 — th.  We  felt  the  full 
value  of  all  the  attentions  we  were  receiving,  and  we 
endeavored,  as  best  we  might,  to  repay  them.  We  got 
up  Garrison  Balls  and  Garrison  Plays,  and  usually  per- 
formed once  or  twice  a  week  during  the  winter.  Here  I 
shone  conspicuously.  In  the  morning  I  was  employed 
painting  scenery  and  arranging  the  properties;  as  it  grew 
later,  I  regulated  the  lamps  and  looked  after  the  foot- 
lights, mediating  occasionally  between  angry  litigants, 
whose  jealousies  abound  to  the  full  as  much  in  private 
theatricals  as  in  the  regular  corps  dramatique.  Then  I 
was  also  leader  in  the  orchestra,  and  had  scarcely  given 
the  last  scrape  in  the  overture  before  I  was  obliged  to 
appear  to  speak  the  prologue.  Such  are  the  cares  of 
greatness.  To  do  myself  justice,  I  did  not  dislike  them; 
though,  to  be  sure,  my  taste  for  the  drama  did  cost  me  a 
little  dear,  as  will  be  seen  in  the  sequel. 

We  were  then  in  the  full  career  of  popularity,  —  our 
balls  pronounced  the  very  pleasantest,  our  plays  far  supe- 
rior to  any  regular  corps  that  had  ever  honored  Cork  with 


10  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

their  talents, — when  an  event  occurred  which  threw  a 
gloom  over  all  our  proceedings,  and  finally  put  a  stop  to 
every  project  for  amusement  we  had  so  completely  given 
ourselves  up  to.  This  was  no  less  than  the  removal  of 
our  Lieutenant-Colonel.  After  thirty  years  of  active  ser- 
vice in  the  regiment  he  then  commanded,  his  age  and 
infirmities,  increased  by  some  severe  wounds,  demanded 
ease  and  repose;  he  retired  from  us  bearing  along  with 
him  the  love  and  regard  of  every  man  in  the  regiment. 
To  the  old  officers  he  was  endeared  by  long  companionship 
and  undeviating  friendship ;  to  the  young,  he  was  in  every 
respect  as  a  father,  assisting  by  his  advice  and  guiding  by 
his  counsel;  while  to  the  men,  the  best  estimate  of  his 
worth  appeared  in  the  fact  that  corporal  punishment  was 
unknown  in  the  corps.  Such  was  the  man  we  lost;  and  it 
may  well  be  supposed  that  his  successor,  who  or  whatever 
he  might  be,  came  under  circumstances  of  no  common  diffi- 
culty amongst  us :  but  when  I  tell  that  our  neAv  Lieutenant- 
Colonel  was  in  every  respect  his  opposite,'  it  may  be  believed 
how  little  cordiality  he  met  with. 

Lieutenant-Colonel  Carden  —  for  so  I  shall  call  him, 
although  not  his  real  name  —  had  not  been  a  month  at 
quarters  when  he  proved  himself  a  regular  martinet.  Ever- 
lasting drills,  continual  reports,  fatigue  parties,  and  ball 
practice,  and  Heaven  knows  what  besides,  superseded  our 
former  morning's  occupation;  and  at  the  end  of  the  time 
I  have  mentioned,  we,  who  had  fought  our  way  from 
Albuera  to  Waterloo,  under  some  of  the  severest  generals 
of  division,  were  pronounced  a  most  disorderly  and  ill- 
disciplined  regiment  by  a  colonel  who  had  never  seen  a 
shot  fired  but  at  a  review  a,t  Hounslow,  or  a  sham  battle  in 
the  Fifteen  Acres.  The  winter  was  now  drawing  to  a  close 
—  already  some  little  touch  of  spring  was  appearing  —  as 
our  last  play  for  the  season  was  announced,  and  every  effort 
to  close  with  some  little  additional  eclat  was  made;  and 
each  performer  in  the  expected  piece  was  nerving  himself 
for  an  effort  beyond  his  wont.  The  Colonel  had  most  une- 
quivocally condemned  these  plays;  but  that  mattered  not, 


ARRIVAL  IN  CORK.  11 

they  came  not  within  his  jurisdiction,  and  we  took  no 
notice  of  his  displeasure  further  than  sending  him  tickets, 
which  were  as  immediately  returned  as  received.  From 
being  the  chief  offender,  I  had  become  particularly  obnox- 
ious, and  he  had  upon  more  than  one  occasion  expressed 
his  desire  for  an  opportunity  to  visit  me  with  his  ven- 
geance; but  being  aware  of  his  kind  intentions  towards 
me,  I  took  particular  care  to  let  no  such  opportunity  occur. 

On  the  morning  in  question,  then,  I  had  scarcely  left  my 
quarters  when  one  of  my  brother  officers  informed  me  that 
the  Colonel  had  made  a  great  uproar,  that  one  of  the  bills 
of  the  play  had  been  put  up  on  his  door,  which,  with  his 
avowed  dislike  to  such  representations,  he  considered  as 
intended  to  insult  him:  he  added,  too,  that  the  Colonel 
attributed  it  to  me.  In  this,  however,  he  was  wrong;  and 
to  this  hour  I  never  knew  who  did  it.  I  had  little  time, 
and  still  less  inclination,  to  meditate  upon  the  Colonel's 
wrath,  —  the  theatre  had  all  my  thoughts ;  and  indeed  it 
was  a  day  of  no  common  exertion,  for  our  amusements 
were  to  conclude  with  a  grand  supper  on  the  stage,  to 
which  all  the  elite  of  Cork  were  invited.  Wherever  I  went 
through  the  city,  —  and  many  were  my  peregrinations,  — 
the  great  placard  of  the  play  stared  me  in  the  face;  and 
every  gate  and  shuttered  window  in  Cork  proclaimed  "  The 
part  of  Othello  by  Mr.  Lorrequer." 

As  evening  drew  near,  my  cares  and  occupations  were 
redoubled.  My  Iago  I  had  fears  for ;  't  is  true  he  was  an 
admirable  Lord  Grizzle  in  "  Tom  Thumb"  —  but  then  — 
then  I  had  to  paint  the  whole  company,  and  bear  all  their 
abuse  besides,  for  not  making  some  of  the  most  ill-looking 
wretches  perfect  Apollos ;  but,  last  of  all,  I  was  sent  for, 
at  a  quarter  to  seven,  to  lace  Desdemona's  stays.  Start  not, 
gentle  reader,  my  fair  Desdemona  —  she  "  who  might  lie  by 
an  emperor's  side  and  command  him  tasks  "  —  was  no  other 
than  the  senior  lieutenant  of  the  regiment,  and  who  was  as 
great  a  votary  of  the  jolly  god  as  honest  Cassio  himself. 
But  I  must  hasten  on;  I  cannot  delay  to  recount  our  suc- 
cesses in  detail.     Let  it  suffice  to  say,  that,  by  universal 


12  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

consent,  I  was  preferred  to  Kean;  and  the  only  fault  the 
most  critical  observer  could  find  to  the  representative  of 
Desdeniona  was  a  rather  unladylike  fondness  for  snuff. 
But  whatever  little  demerits  our  acting  might  have  dis- 
played, were  speedily  forgotten  in  a  champagne  supper. 
There  I  took  the  head  of  the  table ;  and  in  the  costume  of 
the  noble  Moor  toasted,  made  speeches,  returned  thanks, 
and  sang  songs,  till  I  might  have  exclaimed  with  Othello 
himself,  "Chaos  is  come  again;"  and  I  believe  I  owe  my 
ever  reaching  the  barrack  that  night  to  the  kind  offices  of 
Desdeniona,  who  carried  me  the  greater  part  of  the  way 
on  her  back. 

The  first  waking  thoughts  of  him  who  has  indulged  over- 
night are  not  among  the  most  blissful  of  existence;  and 
certainly  the  pleasure  is  not  increased  by  the  consciousness 
that  he  is  called  on  to  the  discharge  of  duties  to  which  a 
fevered  pulse  and  throbbing  temples  are  but  ill  suited. 
My  sleep  was  suddenly  broken  in  upon  the  morning  after 
the  play  by  a  "  row-dow-dow  "  beat  beneath  my  window. 
I  jumped  hastily  from  my  bed  and  looked  out,  and  there, 
to  my  horror,  perceived  the  regiment  under  arms.  It  was 
one  of  our  confounded  Colonel's  morning  drills;  and  there 
he  stood  himself,  with  the  poor  Adjutant,  who  had  been  up 
all  night,  shivering  beside  him.  Some  two  or  three  of  the 
officers  had  descended;  and  the  drum  was  now  summoning 
the  others  as  it  beat  round  the  barrack-square.  I  saw  there 
was  not  a  moment  to  lose,  and  proceeded  to  dress  with  all 
despatch;  but,  to  my  misery,  I  discovered  everywhere  no- 
thing but  theatrical  robes  and  decorations.  There  lay  a 
splendid  turban;  here  a  pair  of  buskins.  A  spangled  jacket 
glittered  on  one  table,  and  a  jewelled  scimitar  on  the  other. 
At  last  I  detected  my  "regimental  small-clothes,"  most 
ignomiiiiously  thrust  into  a  corner  in  my  ardor  for  my 
Moorish  robes  the  preceding  evening. 

I  dressed  myself  with  the  speed  of  lightning;  but  as  I 
proceeded  in  my  occupation,  guess  my  annoyance  to  find 
that  the  toilet-table  and  glass,  ay,  and  even  the  basin- 
stand,    had    been   removed   to   the   dressing-room   of    the 


ARRIVAL  IN  CORK.  13 

theatre.  And  my  servant,  I  suppose,  following  his  mas- 
ter's example,  was  too  tipsy  to  remember  to  bring  them 
back,  so  that  I  was  unable  to  procure  the  luxury  of  cold 
water;  for  now  not  a  moment  more  remained,  the  drum 
had  ceased,  and  the  men  had  all  fallen  in.  Hastily  draw- 
ing on  my  coat,  I  put  on  my  shako,  and  buckling  on  my 
belt  as  dandy -like  as  might  be,  hurried  down,  the  stairs  to 
the  barrack-yard.  By  the  time  I  got  down,  the  men  were 
all  drawn  up  in  line  along  the  square,  while  the  Adjutant 
was  proceeding  to  examine  their  accoutrements  as  he 
passed  down.  The  Colonel  and  the  officers  were  standing 
in  a  group,  but  not  conversing.  The  anger  of  the  com- 
manding officer  appeared  still  to  continue,  and  there  was  a 
dead  silence  maintained  on  both  sides.  To  reach  the  spot 
where  they  stood,  I  had  to  pass  along  part  of  the  line.  In 
doing  so,  how  shall  I  convey  my  amazement  at  the  faces 
that  met  me,  —  a  general  titter  ran  along  the  entire  rank, 
which  not  even  their  fears  for  consequences  seemed  able 
to  repress ;  for  an  effort  on  the  part  of  many  to  stifle  the 
laugh  only  ended  in  a  still  louder  burst  of  merriment.  I 
looked  to  the  far  side  of  the  yard  for  an  explanation,  but 
there  was  nothing  there  to  account  for  it.  I  now  crossed 
over  to  where  the  officers  were  standing,  determining  in 
my  own  mind  to  investigate  the  occurrence  thoroughly 
when  free  from  the  presence  of  the  Colonel,  to  whom  any 
representation  of  ill  conduct  always  brought  a  punishment 
far  exceeding  the  merits  of  the  case. 

Scarcely  had  I  formed  this  resolve,  when  I  reached  the 
group  of  officers ;  but  the  moment  I  came  near,  one  general 
roar  of  laughter  saluted  me,  the  like  of  which  I  never 
before  heard.  I  looked  down  at  my  costume,  expecting  to 
discover  that  in  my  hurry  to  dress  I  had  put  on  some  of 
the  garments  of  Othello.  No,  all  was  perfectly  correct.  I 
waited  for  a  moment  till,  the  first  burst  of  their  merriment 
over,  I  should  obtain  a  clew  to  the  jest.  But  there  seemed 
no  prospect  of  this,  for  as  I  stood  patiently  before  them, 

their  mirth  appeared  to  increase.     Indeed,  poor  G ,  the 

senior  major,  one  of  the  gravest  men  in  Europe,  laughed 


14  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

till  the  tears  ran  down  his  cheeks ;  and  such  was  the  effect 
upon  me  that  I  was  induced  to  laugh  too,  —  as  men  will 
sometimes,  from  the  infectious  nature  of  that  strange  emo- 
tion ;  but  no  sooner  did  I  do  this,  than  their  fun  knew  no 
bounds,  and  some  almost  screamed  aloud  in  the  excess  of 
their  merriment.  Just  at  this  instant  the  Colonel,  who  had 
been  examining  some  of  the  men,  approached  our  group, 
advancing  with  an  air  of  evident  displeasure,  as  the  shouts 
of  laughter  continued.  As  he  came  up,  I  turned  hastily 
round,  and  touching  my  cap,  wished  him  good  morning. 
Never  shall  I  forget  the  look  he  gave  me.  '  If  a  glance 
could  have  annihilated  any  man,  his  would  have  finished 
me.  For  a  moment  his  face  became  purple  with  rage,  his 
eye  was  almost  hid  beneath  his  bent  brow,  and  he  abso- 
lutely shook  with  passion. 

"Go,  sir,"  said  he  at  length,  as  soon  as  he  was  able  to 
find  utterance  for  his  words,  "go,  sir,  to  your  quarters; 
and  before  you  leave  them  a  court-martial  shall  decide  if 
such  continued  insult  to  your  commanding  officer  warrants 
your  name  being  in  the  Army  List." 

"What  the  devil  can  all  this  mean?"  I  said,  in  a  half- 
whisper,  turning  to  the  others.  But  there  they  stood, 
their  handkerchiefs  to  their  mouths,  and  evidently  choking 
with  suppressed  laughter. 

"  May  I  beg,  Colonel  Carden, "  said  I  — 

"To  your  quarters,  sir,"  roared  the  little  man  in  the 
voice  of  a  lion;  and  with  a  haughty  wave  of  his  hand, 
prevented  all  further  attempt  on  my  part  to  seek  ex- 
planation. 

"They're  all  mad,  every  man  of  them,"  I  muttered,  as 
I  betook  myself  slowly  back  to  my  rooms,  amid  the  same 
evidences  of  mirth  my  first  appearance  had  excited,  which 
even  the  Colonel's  presence,  feared  as  he  was,  could  not 
entirely  subdue. 

With  the  air  of  a  martyr  I  trod  heavily  up  the  stairs 
and  entered  my  quarters,  meditating  within  myself  awful 
schemes  for  vengeance  on  the  now  open  tyranny  of  my 
Colonel,    upon   whom   I,    too,    in   my  honest   rectitude   of 


ARRIVAL  IN   CORK.  15 

heart,  vowed  to  have  a  "court-martial."  I  threw  myself 
upon  a  chair,  and  endeavored  to  recollect  what  circum- 
stances of  the  past  evening  could  have  possibly  suggested 
all  the  mirth  in  which  both  officers  and  men  seemed  to  par- 
ticipate equally;  but  nothing  could  I  remember  capable  of 
solving  the  mystery.  Surely  the  cruel  wrongs  of  the  manly 
Othello  were  no  laughter-moving  subject. 

I  rang  the  bell  hastily  for  my  servant.  The  door 
opened. 

"Stubbes,"  said  I,  "are  you  aware  —  " 

I  had  only  got  so  far  in  my  question  when  my  servant, 
one  of  the  most  discreet  of  men,  put  on  a  broad  grin,  and 
turned  away  towards  the  door  to  hide  his  face. 

"What  the  devil  does  this  mean?  "  said  I,  stamping  with 
passion;  "he  is  as  bad  as  the  rest.  Stubbes"  —  and  this 
I  spoke  with  the  most  grave  and  severe  tone  — "  what  is 
the  meaning  of  this  insolence?" 

"Oh,  sir,"  said  the  man,  "oh,  sir,  surely  you  did  not 
appear  on  parade  with  that  face?"  And  then  he  burst  into 
a  fit  of  the  most  uncontrollable  laughter. 

Like  lightning  a  horrid  doubt  shot  across  my  mind.  I 
sprang  over  to  the  dressing-glass,  which  had  been  replaced, 
and  oh,  horror  of  horrors!  there  I  stood  as  black  as  the 
king  of  Ashantee.  The  cursed  dye  which  I  had  put  on  for 
Othello,  I  had  never  washed  off;  and  there,  with  a  huge 
bearskin  shako  and  a  pair  of  dark  bushy  whiskers,  shone 
my  huge,  black,  and  polished  visage,  glowering  at  itself  in 
the  looking-glass. 

My  first  impulse,  after  amazement  had  a  little  subsided, 
was  to  laugh  immoderately;  in  this  I  was  joined  by 
Stubbes,  who,  feeling  that  his  mirth  was  participated  in, 
gave  full  vent  to  his  risibility.  And,  indeed,  as  I  stood 
before  the  glass,  grinning  from  ear  to  ear,  I  felt  very  little 
surprise  that  my  joining  in  the  laughter  of  my  brother  offi- 
cers, a  short  time  before,  had  caused  an  increase  of  their 
merriment.  I  threw  myself  upon  a  sofa,  and  absolutely 
laughed  till  my  sides  ached,  when,  the  door  opening,  the 
Adjutant  made  his  appearance.     He  looked  for  a  moment 


16  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

at  me,  then  at  Stubbes,  and  then  burst  out  himself  as  loud 
as  either  of  us.  When  he  had  at  length  recovered  himself, 
he  wiped  his  face  with  his  handkerchief,  and  said,  with  a 
tone  of  much  gravity,  — 

"But,  my  dear  Lorrequer,  this  will  be  a  serious,  a  devil- 
ish serious  affair.  You  know  what  kind  of  man  Colonel 
Carden  is;  and  you  are  aware,  too,  you  are  not  one  of 
his  prime  favorites.  He  is  firmly  persuaded  that  you  in- 
tended to  insult  him,  and  nothing  will  convince  him  to 
the  contrary.  We  told  him  how  it  must  have  occurred, 
but  he  will  listen  to  no  explanation." 

I  thought  for  one  second  before  I  replied.  My  mind, 
with  the  practised  rapidity  of  an  old  campaigner,  took  in 
all  the  pros  and  cons  of  the  case ;  I  saw  at  a  glance  it  were 
better  to  brave  the  anger  of  the  Colonel,  come  in  what 
shape  it  might,  than  be  the  laughing-stock  of  the  mess  for 
life,  and  with  a  face  of  the  greatest  gravity  and  self-posses- 
sion, said,  — 

''Well,  Adjutant,  the  Colonel  is  right.  It  was  no  mis- 
take. You  know  I  sent  him  tickets  yesterday  for  the 
theatre.  Well,  he  returned  them;  this  did  not  annoy  me, 
but  on  one  account:  I  had  made  a  wager  with  Alderman 
Gullable  that  the  Colonel  should  see  me  in  Othello.  What 
was  to  be  done?  Don't  you  see,  now,  there  was  only  one 
course,  and  I  took  it,  old  boy,  and  have  won  my  bet !  " 

"  And  lost  your  commission  for  a  dozen  of  champagne,  I 
suppose, "  said  the  Adjutant. 

"Never  mind,  my  dear  fellow,"  I  replied;  "I  shall  get 
out  of  this  scrape,  as  I  have  done  many  others." 

"But  what  do  you  intend  doing?  " 

"Oh!  as  to  that,"  said  I,  "I  shall,  of  course,  wait  on  the 
Colonel  immediately;  pretend  to  him  that  it  was  a  mere 
blunder  from  the  inattention  of  my  servant,  hand  over 
Stubbes  to  the  powers  that  punish "  (here  the  poor  fellow 
winced  a  little),  "and  make  my  peace  as  well  as  I  can. 
But,  Adjutant,  mind,"  said  I,  "and  give  the  real  version  to 
all  our  fellows,  and  tell  them  to  make  it  public  as  much  as 
they  please. " 


ARRIVAL  IN   CORK.  17 

"Never  fear,"  said  he,  as  lie  left  the  room  still  laughing, 
"they  shall  all  know  the  true  story;  but  I  wish  with  all  my 
heart  you  were  well  out  of  it." 

I  now  lost  no  time  in  making  my  toilet,  and  presented 
myself  at  the  Colonel's  quarters.  It  is  no  pleasure  for  me 
to  recount  these  passages  in  my  life  in  which  I  have  had 
to  bear  the  "proud  man's  contumely."  I  shall  therefore 
merely  observe  that  after  a  very  long  interview  the  Colonel 
accepted  my  apologies  and  we  parted. 

Before  a  week  elapsed,  the  story  had  gone  far  and  neai ; 
everv  dinner-table  in  Cork  had  laughed  at  it.  As  for  me.. 
I  attained  immortal  honor  for  my  tact  and  courage.  Poor 
Gullable  readily  agreed  to  favor  the  story,  and  gave  us  a 
dinner  as  the  lost  wager ;  and  the  Colonel  was  so  unmerci- 
fully quizzed  on  the  subject,  and  such  broad  allusions  to 
his  being  humbugged  were  given  in  the  Cork  papers,  that 
he  was  obliged  to  negotiate  a  change  of  quarters  with  an- 
other regiment,  to  get  out  of  the  continual  jesting;  and  in 
less  than  a  month  we  marched  to  Limerick,  to  relieve,  as  it 
was  reported,  the  9th,  ordered  for  foreign  service,  but  in 
reality  only  to  relieve  Lieutenant-Colonel  Carden,  quizzed 
beyond  endurance. 

However,  if  the  Colonel  had  seemed  to  forgive,  he  did 
not  forget;  for  the  very  second  week  after  our  arrival  in 
Limerick,  I  received  one  morning  at  my  breakfast-table  the 
following  brief  note  from  our  Adjutant :  — 

My  dear  Lorrequer,  —  The  Colonel  has  received  orders  to  de- 
spatch two  companies  to  some  remote  part  of  the  County  Clare  ; 
and  as  you  have  "  done  the  state  some  service,"  you  are  selected  for 
the  beautiful  town  of  Kilrush^  where,  to  use  the  eulogistic  language 
of  the  geography  books,  "  there  is  a  good  harbor  and  a  market 
plentifully  supplied  with  fish."  I  have  just  heard  of  the  kind  in- 
tention in  store  for  you,  and  lose  no  time  in  letting  you  know. 

God  give  you  a  good  deliverance  from  the  gargons  blancs,  as  the 
"  Moniteur"  calls  the  Whiteboys,  and  believe  me  ever  yours, 

Charles  Curzon. 

I  had  scarcely  twice  read  over  the  Adjutant's  epistle, 
when  I  received  an  official  notification  from  the  Colonel 
VOL.  i. — 2 


18  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

directing  me  to  proceed  to  Kilrush,  then  and  there  to  afford 
all  aid  and  assistance  in  suppressing  illicit  distillation, 
"when  called  on  for  that  purpose ;  and  other  similar  duties 
too  agreeable  to  recapitulate.  Alas!  alas!  "  Othello's  occu- 
pation" was  indeed  gone!  The  next  morning  at  sunrise 
saw  me  on  my  march,  with  what  appearance  of  gayety  I 
could  muster,  but  in  reality  very  much  chapfallen  at  my 
banishment,  and  invoking  sundry  things  upon  the  devoted 
head  of  the  Colonel  which  he  would  by  no  means  consider 
as  "blessings." 

How  short-sighted  are  we  mortals,  whether  enjoying  all 
the  pomp  and  state  of  royalty,  or  marching,  like  myself,  at 
the  head  of  a  detachment  of  his  Majesty's  4 — th. 

Little,  indeed,  did  I  anticipate  that  the  Siberia  to  which 
I  fancied  I  was  condemned  should  turn  out  the  happiest 
quarters  my  fate  ever  threw  me  into.  But  this,  including 
as  it  does  one  of  the  most  important  events  of  my  life,  I 
reserve  for  another  chapter. 

"What  is  that  place  called,  Sergeant?" 

"Bunratty  Castle,  sir." 

"Where  do  we  breakfast?" 

"At  Clare  Island,  sir." 

"  March  away,  boys !  " 


CHAPTER  II. 

DETACHMENT    DUTY. THE   BURTON    ARMS.  CALLONBY. 

Fob  a  week  after  my  arrival  at  Kilrush,  my  life  was  one 
of  the  most  dreary  monotony.  The  rain,  which  had  begun 
to  fall  as  I  left  Limerick,  continued  to  descend  in  torrents, 
and  I  found  myself  a  close  prisoner  in  the  sanded  parlor  of 
"mine  inn."  At  no  time  would  such  "durance  vile"  have 
been  agreeable ;  but  now,  when  I  contrasted  it  with  all  I 
had  left  behind  at  headquarters,  it  was  absolutely  madden- 
ing. The  pleasant  lounge  in  the  morning,  the  social  mess, 
and  the  agreeable  evening  party  were  all  exchanged  for 
a  short  promenade  of  fourteen  feet  in  one  direction,  and 
twelve  in  the  other,  such  being  the  accurate  measurement 
of  my  salle  a  manger;  a  chicken,  with  legs  as  blue  as  a 
Highlander's  in  winter  for  my  dinner;  and  the  hours  that 
all  Christian  mankind  were  devoting  to  pleasant  intercourse 
and  agreeable  chit-chat,  spent  in  beating  that  dead-march 
to  time,  "the  Devil's  Tattoo,"  upon  my  rickety  table;  and 
forming,  between  whiles,  sundry  valorous  resolutions  to 
reform  my  life  and  "eschew  sack  and  loose  company." 

My  front  window  looked  out  upon  a  long,  straggling,  ill- 
paved  street,  with  its  due  proportion  of  mud-heaps  and 
duck-pools;  the  houses  on  either  side  were  for  the  most 
part  dingy-looking  edifices  with  half-doors  and  such 
pretension  to  being  shops  as  a  quart  of  meal  or  salt 
displayed  in  the  window  confers;  or  sometimes  two 
tobacco-pipes,  placed  "saltier-wise,"  would  appear  the 
only  vendible  article  in  the  establishment.  A  more 
wretched,  gloomy-looking  picture  of  woe-begone  poverty 
I  never  beheld. 

If  I  turned  for  consolation  to  the  back  of  the  house,  my 
eyes  fell  upon  the  dirty  yard  of  a  dirty  inn,  —  the  half- 


20  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

thatched  cow-shed,  where  two  famished  animals  mourned 
their  hard  fate,  "chewing  the  cud  of  sweet  and  bitter 
fancy ; "  the  chaise,  the  yellow  post-chaise,  once  the  pride 
and  glory  of  the  establishment,  now  stood  reduced  from  its 
wheels,  and  ignominiously  degraded  to  a  hen-house.  On 
the  grass-grown  roof  a  cock  had  taken  his  stand,  with  an 
air  of  protective  patronage  to  the  feathered  inhabitants 
beneath,  — 

"  To  what  base  uses  must  we  come  at  last ! " 

That  chaise,  which  once  had  conveyed  the  blooming 
bride,  all  blushes  and  tenderness,  and  the  happy  groom 
on  their  honeymoon  visit  to  Ballybunnion  and  its  romantic 
caves  or  to  the  gigantic  cliffs  and  sea-girt  shores  of  Moher, 
or,  with  more  steady  pace  and  becoming  gravity,  had 
borne  along  the  "going  judge  of  assize,"  was  now  become 
a  lying-in  hospital  for  fowls  and  a  nursery  for  chickens. 
Fallen  as  I  was  from  my  high  estate,  it  afforded  me  a 
species  of  malicious  satisfaction  to  contemplate  these|  sad 
reverses  of  fortune;  and  I  verily  believe  —  for  on  such 
slight  foundation  our  greatest  resolves  are  built  —  that  if 
the  rain  had  continued  a  week  longer,  I  should  have  become 
a  misanthropist  for  life.  I  made  many  inquiries  from  my 
landlady  as  to  the  society  of  the  place,  but  the  answers  I 
received  only  led  to  greater  despondence.  My  predecessor 
here,  it  seemed,  had  been  an  officer  of  a  veteran  battalion, 
with  a  wife  and  that  amount  of  children  which  is  algebrai- 
cally expressed  by  an  x,  — meaning  an  unknown  quantity. 
He,  good  man,  in  his  two  years'  sojourn  here  had  been 
much  more  solicitous  about  his  own  affairs  than  making 
acquaintance  with  his  neighbors;  and  at  last  the  few  per- 
sons who  had  been  in  the  habit  of  calling  on  "  the  officer  " 
gave  up  the  practice ;  and  as  there  were  no  young  ladies  to 
refresh  Pa's  memory  on  the  matter,  they  soon  forgot  com- 
pletely that  such  a  person  existed.  And  to  this  happy  obli- 
vion I,  Harry  Lorrequer,  succeeded,  and  was  thus  left, 
without  benefit  of  clergy,  to  the  tender  mercies  of  Mrs. 
Healy,  of  the  Burton  Arms. 


DETACHMENT   DUTY.  21 

As  during  the  inundation  which  deluged  the  whole  coun- 
try around  I  was  unable  to  stir  from  the  house,  I  enjoyed 
abundant  opportunity  of  cultivating  the  acquaintance  of 
my  hostess;  and  it  is  but  fair  that  my  reader,  who  has 
journeyed  so  far  with  me,  should  have  an  introduction. 

Mrs.  Healy,  the  sole  proprietor  of  the  Burton  Arms, 
was  of  some  five-and-fifty  —  "or,  by 'r  lady,"  threescore  — 
years,  of  a  rubicund  and  hale  complexion;  and  though 
her  short  neck  and  corpulent  figure  might  have  set  her 
down  as  "doubly  hazardous,"  she  looked  a  good  life  for 
many  years  to  come.  In  height  and  breadth  she  most 
nearly  resembled  a  sugar-hogshead,  whose  rolling,  pitching 
motion,  when  trundled  along  on  edge,  she  emulated  in  her 
gait.  To  the  ungainliness  of  her  figure  her  mode  of  dress- 
ing not  a  little  contributed.  She  usually  wore  a  thick 
linsey-wolsey  gown,  with  enormous  pockets  on  either  side, 
and,  like  Nora  Creina's,  it  certainly  inflicted  no  undue 
restriction  upon  her  charms,  but  left 

"  Every  beauty  free, 
To  sink  or  swell  as  Heaven  pleases," 

Her  feet  —  ye  gods!  such  feet  —  were  apparelled  in  list- 
ing slippers,  over  which  the  upholstery  of  her  ankles  de- 
scended, and  completely  relieved'  the  mind  of  the  spectator 
as  to  the  superincumbent  weight  being  disproportion ed  to 
the  support.  I  remember  well  my  first  impression  on  see- 
ing those  feet  and  ankles  reposing  upon  a  straw  footstool, 
while  she  took  her  afternoon  doze,  and  I  wondered  within 
myself  if  elephants  were  liable  to  the  gout.  There  are  few 
countenances  in  the  world  that,  if  wishing  to  convey  an 
idea  of,  we  cannot  refer  to  some  well-known  standard,  and 
thus  nothing  is  more  common  than  to  hear  comparisons 
with  "Vulcan,  Venus,  Nicodemus,"  and  the  like;  but  in 
the  present  case  I  am  totally  at  a  loss  for  anything  resem- 
bling the  face  of  the  worthy  Mrs.  Healy,  except  it  be,  per- 
haps, that  most  ancient  and  sour  visage  we  used  to  see 
upon  old  circular  iron  rappers  formerly,  —  they  make  none 
of  them  now,  — the  only  difference  being  that  Mrs.  Healyrs 


22  HARRY  LOEREQUER. 

nose  had  no  ring  through  it;  I  am  almost  tempted  to  add, 
"more's  the  pity." 

Such  was  she  in  "  the  flesh ;  "  would  that  I  could  say  she 
was  more  fascinating  in  the  "  spirit !  "  But,  alas !  truth, 
from  which  I  never  may  depart  in  these  my  "Confessions," 
constrains  me  to  acknowledge  the  reverse.  Most  persons, 
in  this  miserable  world  of  ours,  have  some  prevailing,  pre- 
dominating characteristic,  which  usually  gives  the  tone  and 
color  to  all  their  thoughts  and  actions,  forming  what  we 
denominate  temperament;  this  Ave  see  actuating  them,  now 
more,  now  less.  But  rarely,  however,  is  this  great  spring 
of  action  without  its  moments  of  repose.  Not  so  with  her 
of  whom  I  have  been  speaking.     She  had  but  one  passion, 

—  but,  like  Aaron's  rod,  it  had  a  most  consuming  tendency, 

—  and  that  was  to  scold  and  abuse  all  Avkom  hard  fate  had 
brought  within  the  unfortunate  limits  of  her  tyranny.  The 
English  language,  comprehensive  as  it  is,  afforded  no  epi- 
thets strong  enough  for  her  wrath,  and  she  sought  among 
the  more  classic  beauties  of  her  native  Irish  such  additional 
ones  as  served  her  need;  and  with  this  holy  alliance  of 
tongues  she  had  been  for  years  long,  the  dread  and  terror 
of  the  entire  village. 

"  The  dawning  of  morn,  the  daylight  sinking," 

ay,  and  even  the  "night's  dull  hours,"  it  was  said,  too, 
found  her  laboring  in  her  congenial  occupation;  and  while 
thus"  she  continued  to  "scold  and  grow  fat,"  her  inn,  once 
a  popular  and  frequented  one,  became  gradually  less  and 
less  frequented,  and  the  dragon  of  the  Khine-fells  did  not 
more  effectually  lay  waste  the  territory  about  him  than  did 
the  evil  influence  of  her  tongue  spread  desolation  and  ruin 
around  her.  Her  inn,  at  the  time  of  my  visit,  had  not  been 
troubled  with  even  a  passing  traveller  for  many  months; 
and,  indeed,  had  I  had  any,  even  the  least,  foreknowledge 
of  the  character  of  my  hostess,  its  privacy  should  have  still 
remained  uninvaded  for  some  time  longer. 

I  had  not  been  many  hours  installed,  when  I  got  a  speci- 
men of  her  powers ;  and  before  the  first  week  was  over,  so 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  23 

constant  and  unremitting  were  her  labors  in  this  way  that 
I  have,  upon  the  occasion  of  a  slight  lull  in  the  storm, 
occasioned  by  her  falling  asleep,  actually  left  my  room  to 
inquire  if  anything  had  gone  wrong,  in  the  same  way  as 
the  miller  is  said  to  awake  when  the  mill  stops.  I  trust  I 
have  said  enough  to  move  the  reader's,' pity  and  compassion 
for  my  situation;  one  more  miserable  it  is  difficult  to  con- 
ceive. It  may  be  thought  that  much  might  be  done  by 
management,  and  that  a  slight  exercise  of  the  favorite 
Whig  plan  might  avail.  Nothing  of  the  kind.  She  was 
proof  against  all  such  arts ;  and  what  was  still  worse,  there 
was  no  subject,  no  possible  circumstance,  no  matter,  past, 
present,  or  to  come,  that  she  could  not  wind,  by  her  dia- 
bolical ingenuity,  into  some  cause  of  offence;  and  then 
came  the  quick  transition  to  instant  punishment.  Thus, 
my  apparently  harmless  inquiry  as  to  the  society  of  the 
neighborhood  suggested  to  her  —  a  wish  on  my  part  to 
make  acquaintance ;  therefore  to  dine  out ;  therefore  not  to 
dine  at  home ;  consequently  to  escape  paying  half-a-crown 
and  devouring  a  chicken;  therefore  to  defraud  her,  and 
behave,  as  she  would  herself  observe,  "like  a  beggarly 
scullion,  with  his  four  shillings  a  day,  setting  up  for  a 
gentleman,"  etc. 

By  a  quiet  and  Job-like  endurance  of  all  manner  of 
taunting  suspicions  and  unmerited  sarcasms,  to  which  I 
daily  became  more  reconciled,  I  absolutely  rose  into  some- 
thing like  favor;  and  before  the  first  month  of  my  banish- 
ment expired,  had  got  the  length  of  an  invitation  to  tea  in 
her  own  snuggery,  —  an  honor  never  known  to  be  be- 
stowed on  any  before,  with  the  exception  of  Father 
Malachi  Brennan,  her  ghostly  adviser;  and  even  he,  it 
is  said,  never  ventured  on  such  an  approximation  to  inti- 
macy until  he  was,  in  Kilrush  phrase,  "half  screwed," 
thereby  meaning  more  than  half  tipsy.  From  time  to 
time,  thus,  I  learned  from  my  hostess  such  particulars  of 
the  country  and  its  inhabitants  as  I  was  desirous  of  hear- 
ing; and  among  other  matters,  she  gave  me  an  account  of 
the  great  landed  proprietor  himself,  Lord  Callonby,   who 


24  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

was  daily  expected  at  his  seat  within  some  miles  of  Kil- 
rush,  at  the  same  time  assuring  me  that  I  need  not  be 
looking  so  "pleased  and  curling  out  my  whiskers;  that 
they  'd  never  take  the  trouble  of  asking  even  the  name  of 
me."  This,  though  neither  very  courteous,  nor  altogether 
nattering  to  listen  to,  was  no  more  than  I  had  already 
learned  from  some  brother  officers  who  knew  this  quarter, 
and  who  informed  me  that  the  Earl  of  Callonby,  though 
only  visiting  his  Irish  estates  every  three  or  four  years, 
never  took  the  slightest  notice  of  any  of  the  military  in  his 
neighborhood;  nor,  indeed,  did  he  mix  with  the  country 
gentry,  confining  himself  to  his  own  family  or  the  guests 
who  usually  accompanied  him  from  England  and  remained 
during  his  few  weeks'  stay.  My  impression  of  his  lordship 
was  therefore  not  calculated  to  cheer  my  solitude  by  any 
prospect  of  his  rendering  it  lighter. 

The  Earl's  family  consisted  of  her  ladyship,  an  only  son, 
nearly  of  age,  and  two  daughters,  —  the  eldest,  Lady  Jane, 
had  the  reputation  of  being  extremely  beautiful;  and  I 
remembered  when  she  came  out  in  London,  only  the  year 
before,  hearing  nothing  but  praises  of  the  grace  and  ele- 
gance of  her  manner,  united  to  the  most  classic  beauty  of 
her  face  and  figure.  The  second  daughter  was  some  years 
younger,  and  said  to  be  also  very  handsome;  but  as  yet 
she  had  not  been  brought  into  society.  Of  the  son,  Lord 
Kilkee,  I  only  heard  that  he  had  been  a  very  gay  fellow 
at  Oxford,  where  he  was  much  liked,  and  although  not 
particularly  studious,  had  given  evidence  of  talent. 

Such  were  the  few  particulars  I  obtained  of  my  neigh- 
bors, and  thus  little  did  I  know  of  those  who  were  so  soon 
to  exercise  a  most  important  influence  upon  my  future 
life. 

After  some  weeks'  close  confinement,  which,  judging 
from  my  feelings  alone,  I  should  have  counted  as  many 
years,  I  eagerly  seized  the  opportunity  of  the  first  glimpse 
of  sunshine  to  make  a  short  excursion  along  the  coast;  I 
started  early  in  the  morning,  and  after  a  long  stroll  along 
the  bold  headlands  of  Kilkee,  was  returning  late  in  the 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  25 

evening  to  my  lodgings.  My  path  lay  across  a  wild,  bleak 
moor,  dotted  with  low  clumps  of  furze,  and  not  presenting 
on  any  side  the  least  trace  of  habitation.  In  wading 
through  the  tangled  bushes,  my  dog  Mouche  started  a 
hare;  and  after  a  run  "sharp,  short,  and  decisive,"  killed 
her  at  the  bottom  of  a  little  glen  some  hundred  yards  off. 

I  was  just  patting  my  dog  and  examining  the  prize,  when 
I  heard  a  crackling  among  the  low  bashes  near  me,  and  on 
looking  up,  perceived,  about  twenty  paces  distant,  a  short, 
thickset  man,  whose  fustian  jacket  and  leathern  gaiters  at 
once  pronounced  him  the  gamekeeper;  he  stood  leaning  upon 
his  gun,  quietly  awaiting,  as  it  seemed,  for  any  movement 
on  my  part,  before  he  interfered.  With  one  glance  I  de- 
tected how  matters  stood,  and  immediately  adopting  my 
usual  policy  of  "taking  the  bull  by  the  horns,"  called  out, 
in  a  tone  of  very  sufficient  authority,  — 

"I  say,  my  man,  are  you  his  lordship's  gamekeeper?" 

Taking  off  his  hat,  the  man  approached  me,  and  very 
respectfully  informed  me  that  he  was. 

"Well,  then,"  said  I,  "present  this  hare  to  his  lordship 
with  my  respects,  — here  is  my  card,  — and  say  I  shall  be 
most  happy  to  wait  on  him  in  the  morning  and  explain  the 
circumstance." 

The  man  took  the  card,  and  seemed  for  some  moments 
undecided  how  to  act;  he  seemed  to  think  that  probably  he 
might  be  ill-treating  a  friend  of  his  lordship's  if  he  refused, 
and  on  the  other  hand  might  be  merely  "  jockeyed  "  by  some 
bold-faced  poacher.  Meanwhile  I  whistled  my  dog  close 
up,  and  humming  an  air,  with  great  appearance  of  indiffer- 
ence stepped  out  homeward.  By  this  piece  of  presence  of 
mind  I  saved  poor  Mouche;  for  I  saw  at  a  glance  that, 
with  true  gamekeeper's  law,  he  had  been  destined  to  death 
the  moment  he  had  committed  the  offence. 

The  following  morning,  as  I  sat  at  breakfast  meditating 
upon  the  events  of  the  preceding  day,  and  not  exactly  deter- 
mined how  to  act,  whether  to  write  to  his  lordship  explain- 
ing how  the  matter  occurred,  or  call  personally,  a  loud 
rattling  on  the  pavement  drew  me  to  the  window.     As  the 


26  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

house  stood  at  the  end  of  a  street,  I  could  not  see  in  the 
direction  the  noise  came ;  hut  as  I  listened,  a  very  hand- 
some tandem  turned  the  corner  of  the  narrow  street,  and 
came  along  towards  the  hotel  at  a  long  sling  trot;  the 
horses  were  dark  chestnuts,  well  matched,  and  showing  a 
deal  of  blood.  The  carriage  was  a  dark  drab,  with  black 
wheels,  the  harness  all  of  the  same  color.  The  whole  turn- 
out—  and  I  was  an  amateur  of  that  sort  of  thing  —  was 
perfect;  the  driver  —  for  I  come  to  him  last,  as  he  was  the 
last  I  looked  at  —  was  a  fashionable-looking  young  fellow, 
plainly  but  knowingly  dressed,  and  evidently  handling  the 
"ribbons"  like  an  experienced  whip. 

After  bringing  his  nags  up  to  the  inn-door  in  very  pretty 
style,  he  gave  the  reins  to  his  servant  and  got  down.  Be- 
fore I  was  well  aware  of  it,  the  door  of  my  room  opened, 
and  the  gentleman  entered  with  a  certain  easy  air  of  good- 
breeding,  and  saying,  — 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  presume, "  introduced  himself  as  Lord 
Kilkee. 

I  immediately  opened  the  conversation  by  an  apology  for 
my  dog's  misconduct  on  the  day  before,  and  assured  his 
lordship  that  I  knew  the  value  of  a  hare  in  a  hunting 
country,  and  was  really  sorry  for  the  circumstance. 

"Then  I  must  say,"  replied  his  lordship,  "Mr.  Lorrequer 
is  the  only  person  who  regrets  the  matter;  for  had  it  not 
been  for  this,  it  is  more  than  probable  we  should  never 
have  known  we  were  so  near  neighbors,  —  in  fact,  nothing 
could  equal  our  amazement  at  hearing  you  were  playing  the 
Solitaire  down  here.  You  must  have  found  it  dreadfully 
heavy,  '  and  have  thought  us  downright  savages. '  But  then 
I  must  explain  to  you  that  my  father  has  made  some  '  rule 
absolute'  about  visiting  when  down  here;  and  though  I 
know  you  '11  not  consider  it  a  compliment,  yet  I  can  assure 
you  there  is  not  another  man  I  know  of  he  would  pay  atten- 
tion to  but  yourself.  He  made  two  efforts  to  get  here  this 
morning,  but  the  gout  'would  not  be  denied,'  and  so  he 
deputed  a  most  inferior  '  diplomate; '  and  now  will  you  let 
me  return  with  some  character  from  my  first  mission,  and 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  27 

inform  my  friends  that  you  will  dine  with  us  to-day  at 
seven,  —  a  mere  family  party ;  but  make  your  arrangements 
to  stop  all  night  and  to-morrow.  We  shall  find  some  work 
for  my  friend  there  on  the  hearth,  —  what  do  you  call  him, 
Mr.  Lorrequer?" 

"  Mouche.     Come  here,  Mouche.  " 

"Ah  !  Mouche,  come  here,  my  fine  fellow.  A  splendid 
dog  indeed;  very  tall  for  a  thoroughbred.  And  now 
you  '11  not  forget,  —  seven,  temps  militaire ;  and,  so  sans 
adieu." 

And  with  these  words  his  lordship  shook  me  heartily  by 
the  hand ;  and  before  two  minutes  had  elapsed  had  wrapped 
his  box-coat  once  more  across  him,  and  was  round  the 
corner. 

I  looked  for  a  few  moments  on  the  again  silent  street, 
and  was  almost  tempted  to  believe  I  was  in  a  dream,  so 
rapidly  had  the  preceding  moments  passed  over,  and  so 
surprised  was  I  to  find  that  the  proud  Earl  of  Callonby, 
who  never  did  the  "civil  thing"  anywhere,  should  think 
proper  to  pay  attention  to  a  poor  sub  in  a  marching  regi- 
ment, whose  only  claim  on  his  acquaintance  was  the  sus- 
picion of  poaching  on  his  manor.  I  repeated  over  and  over 
all  his  lordship's  most  polite  speeches,  trying  to  solve  the 
mystery  of  them,  but  in  vain;  a  thousand  explanations 
occurred,  but  none  of  them  I  felt  at  all  satisfactory.  That 
there  was  some  mystery  somewhere  I  had  no  doubt;  for  I 
remarked  all  through  that  Lord  Kilkee  laid  some  stress 
upon  my  identity,  and  even  seemed  surprised  at  my  being 
in  such  banishment.  "Oh  !  "  thought  I  at  last,  "his  lord- 
ship is  about  to  get  up  private  theatricals,  and  has  seen  my 
Captain  Absolute,  or  perhaps  my  Hamlet,"  —  I  could  not 
say  "  Othello "  even  to  myself,  — "  and  is  anxious  to  get 
'  such  unrivalled  talent '  even  '  for  one  night  only. '  " 

After  many  guesses  this  seemed  the  nearest  I  could  think 
of;  and  by  the  time  I  had  finished  my  dressing  for  dinner, 
it  was  quite  clear  to  me  I  had  solved  all  the  secret  of  his 
lordship's  attentions. 

The  road  to  "  Callonby  "  was  beautiful  beyond  anything  I 


28  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

had  ever  seen  in  Ireland.  For  upwards  of  two  miles  it  led 
along  the  margin  of  some  lofty  cliffs,  now  jutting  out  into 
bold  promontories,  and  again  retreating  and  forming  small 
bays  and  mimic  harbors,  into  which  the  heavy  swell  of  the 
broad  Atlantic  was  rolling  its  deep  blue  tide.  The  evening 
was  perfectly  calm,  and  at  a  little  distance  from  the  shore 
the  surface  of  the  sea  was  without  a  ripple.  The  only 
sound  breaking  the  solemn  stillness  of  the  hour  was  the 
heavy  plash  of  the  waves  as  in  minute  peals  they  rolled  in 
upon  the  pebbly  beach  and  brought  back  with  them,  at  each 
retreat,  some  of  the  larger  and  smoother  stones,  whose 
noise,  as  they  fell  back  into  old  Ocean's  bed,  mingled  with 
the  din  of  the  breaking  surf.  In  one  of  the  many  little 
bays  I  passed,  lay  three  or  four  fishing-smacks.  The  sails 
were  drying,  and  napped  lazily  against  the  mast.  I  could 
see  the  figures  of  the  men  as  they  passed  backwards  and 
forwards  upon  the  decks,  and  although  the  height  was 
nearly  eight  hundred  feet,  could  hear  their  voices  quite 
distinctly.  Upon  the  golden  strand,  which  was  still 
marked  with  a  deeper  tint,  where  the  tide  had  washed, 
stood  a  little  white  cottage  of  some  fishermen,  — at  least  so 
the  net  before  the  door  bespoke  it.  Around  it  stood  some 
children,  whose  merry  voices  and  laughing  tones  sometimes 
reached  me  where  I  was  standing.  I  could  not  but  think, 
as  I  looked  down  from  my  lofty  eyrie  upon  that  little  group 
of  boats  and  that  lone  hut,  how  much  of  the  "world,"  to 
the  humble  dwellers  beneath,  lay  in  that  secluded  and  nar- 
row bay.  There  the  deep  sea,  where  their  days  were 
passed  in  "storm  or  sunshine;"  there  the  humble  home 
where  at  night  they  rested,  and  around  whose  hearth  lay  all 
their  cares  and  all  their  joys.  How  far,  how  very  far  re- 
moved from  the  busy  haunts  of  men  and  all  the  struggles 
and  contentions  of  the  ambitious  world;  and  yet,  how 
short-sighted  to  suppose  that  even  they  had  not  their 
griefs  and  sorrows,  and  that  their  humble  lot  was  devoid 
of  the  inheritance  of  those  woes  which  all  are  heirs  to! 

I  turned  reluctantly  from  the  sea-shore  to  enter  the  gate 
of  the  park,  and  my  path  in  a  few  moments  was  as  com- 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  29 

pletely  screened  from  all  prospect  of  the  sea  as  though  it 
had  lain  miles  inland.  An  avenue  of  tall  and  ancient  lime- 
trees,  so  dense  in  their  shadows  as  nearly  to  conceal  the 
road  beneath,  led  for  above  a  mile  through  a  beautiful  lawn, 
whose  surface,  gently  undulating,  and  studded  with  young 
clumps,  Avas  dotted  over  with  sheep.  At  length,  descend- 
ing by  a  very  steep  road,  I  reached  a  beautiful  little 
stream,  over  which  a  rustic  bridge  was  thrown.  As  I 
looked  down  upon  the  rippling  stream  beneath,  on  the 
surface  of  which  the  dusky  evening  flies  were  dipping,  I 
made  a  resolve,  if  I  prospered  in  his  lordship's  good  graces, 
to  devote  a  day  to  the  "angle  "  there  before  I  left  the  coun- 
try. It  was  now  growing  late;  and  remembering  Lord  Kil- 
kee's  intimation  of  "sharp  seven,"  I  threw  my  reins  over 
my  cob  Sir  Eoger's  neck  (for  I  had  hitherto  been  walk- 
ing), and  cantered  up  the  steep  hill  before  me.  When  I 
reached  the  top,  I  found  myself  upon  a  broad  tableland 
encircled  by  old  and  well-grown  timber,  and  at  a  distance, 
most  tastefully  half  concealed  by  ornamental  planting,  I 
could  catch  some  glimpse  of  Callonby.  Before,  however, 
I  had  time  to  look  about  me,  I  heard  the  tramp  of  horses' 
feet  behind,  and  in  another  moment  two  ladies  dashed  up 
the  steep  behind,  and  came  towards  me  at  a  smart  gallop, 
followed  by  a  groom,  who,  neither  himself  nor  his  horse, 
seemed  to  relish  the  pace  of  his  fair  mistresses.  I  moved 
off  the  road  into  the  grass  to  permit  them  to  pass;  but  no 
sooner  had  they  got  abreast  of  me  than  Sir  Roger,  anxious 
for  a  fair  start,  flung  up  both  heels  at  once,  pricked  up  his 
ears,  and  with  a  plunge  that  very  nearly  threw  me  from  the 
saddle,  set  off  at  top  speed.  My  first  thought  was  for  the 
ladies  beside  me,  and  to  my  utter  horror,  T  uow  saw  them 
coining  along  in  full  gallop ;  their  horses  had  got  off  the  road, 
and  were,  to  my  thinking,  become  quite  unmanageable.  I  en- 
deavored to  pull  up,  but  all  in  vain.  Sir  Roger  had  got  the 
bit  between  his  teeth,  —  a  favorite  trick  of  his,  —  and  I  was 
perfectly  powerless  to  hold  him.  By  this  time  they,  being 
mounted  on  thoroughbreds,  got  a  full  neck  before  me,  and 
the  pace  was  now  tremendous.     On  we  all  came,  each  horse 


30  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

at  his  utmost  stretch.  They  were  evidently  gaining,  from 
the  better  stride  of  their  cattle;  and  will  it  be  believed,  or 
shall  I  venture  to  acknowledge  it  in  these  my  Confessions, 
that  I,  who  a  moment  before  would  have  given  my  best 
chance  of  promotion  to  be  able  to  pull  in  my  horse,  would 
now  have  "pledged  my  dukedom  "  to  be  able  to  give  Sir 
Roger  one  cut  of  the  whip  unobserved?  I  leave  it  to  the 
wise  to  decipher  the  rationale,  but  such  is  the  fact.  It  was 
complete  steeple-chasing,  and  my  blood  was  up. 

On  we  came,  and  I  now  perceived  that  about  two  hundred 
yards  before  me  stood  an  iron  gate  and  piers,  without  any 
hedge  or  wall  on  either  side.  Before  I  could  conjecture  the 
meaning  of  so  strange  a  thing  in  the  midst  of  a  large  lawn, 
I  saw  the  foremost  horse,  now  two  or  three  lengths  before 
the  other,  still  in  advance  of  me,  take  two  or  three  short 
strides,  and  fly  about  eight  feet  over  a  sunk  fence;  the 
second  followed  in  the  same  style,  the  riders  sitting  as 
steadily  as  in  the  gallop.  It  was  now  my  turn,  and  I  con- 
fess as  I  neared  the  dike  1  heartily  wished  myself  well 
over  it,  for  the  very  possibility  of  a  "mistake"  was  mad- 
dening. Sir  Roger  came  on  at  a  slapping  pace,  and  when 
within  two  yards  of  the  brink,  rose  to  it,  and  cleared  if 
like  a  deer.  By  the  time  I  had  accomplished  this  feat,  not 
the  less  to  my  satisfaction  that  both  ladies  had  turned  in 
their  saddles  to  watch  me,  they  were  already  far  in  advance. 
They  held  on  still  at  the  same  pace,  round  a  small  copse 
which  concealed  them  an  instant  from  my  view,  and  which 
when  I  passed,  I  perceived  that  they  had  just  reached  the 
hall  door,  and  were  dismounting. 

On  the  steps  stood  a  tall,  elderly-looking,  gentlemanlike 
person,  who  I  rightly  conjectured  was  his  lordship.  T 
heard  him  laughing  heartily  as  I  came  up.  I  at  last  suc- 
ceeded in  getting  Sir  Roger  to  a  canter;  and  when  a  few 
yards  from  where  the  group  were  standing,  sprang  off,  and 
hastened  up  to  make  my  apologies  as  I  best  might  for  my 
unfortunate  runaway.  I  was  luckily  spared  the  awkward- 
ness of  an  explanation,  for  his  lordship,  approaching  me 
with  his  hand  extended,  said,  — 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  31 

"Mr.  Lorrequer  is  most  welcome  at  Callonby.  I  cannot 
be  mistaken,  I  am  sure ;  I  have  the  pleasure  of  addressing 
the  nephew  of  my  old  friend  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer,  of  Elton. 
I  am  indeed  most  happy  to  see  you,  and  not  the  less  so  that 
you  are  safe  and  sound,  which,  five  minutes  since,  I  assure 
you  I  had  my  fears  for." 

Before  I  could  assure  his  lordship  that  my  fears  were  all 
for  my  competitors  in  the  race,  —  for  such  in  reality  they 
were,  — he  introduced  me  to  the  two  ladies,  who  were  still 
standing  beside  him:  "Lady  Jane  Callonby,  Mr.  Lorre- 
quer; Lady  Catherine." 

"Which  of  you  young  ladies,  may  I  ask,  planned  this 
'  escapade; '  for  I  see  by  your  looks  it  was  no  accident?" 

"I  think,  papa,"  said  Lady  Jane,  "you  must  question 
Mr.  Lorrequer  on  that  head;  he  certainly  started  first." 

"I  confess,  indeed,"  said  I,  "such  was  the  case." 

"Well,  you  must  confess,  too,  you  were  distanced,"  said 
Lady  Jane. 

His  lordship  laughed  heartily,  and  I  joined  in  his  mirth, 
feeling  at  the  same  time  most  terribly  provoked  to  be 
quizzed  on  such  a  matter:  that  I,  a  steeple-chase  horse- 
man of  the  first  water,  should  be  twitted  by  a  couple  of 
young  ladies  on  the  score  of  a  most  manly  exercise !  "  But 
come,"  said  his  lordship,  "the  first  bell  has  rung  long  since, 
and  I  am  longing  to  ask  Mr.  Lorrequer  all  about  my  old 
college  friend  of  forty  years  ago.  So,  ladies,  hasten  your 
toilet,  I  beseech  you." 

With  these  words,  his  lordship,  taking  my  arm,  led  me 
into  the  drawing-room,  where  we  had  not  been  many  min- 
utes till  we  were  joined  by  her  ladyship,  a  tall,  stately, 
handsome  woman  of  a  certain  age,  resolutely  bent  upon 
being  both  young  and  beautiful,  in  spite  of  time  and  wrin- 
kles. Her  reception  of  me,  though  not  possessing  the  frank- 
ness of  his  lordship,  was  still  very  polite,  and  intended  to 
be  even  gracious.  I  now  found,  by  the  reiterated  inquiries 
for  my  old  uncle,  Sir  Guy,  that  he  it  was,  and  not  Hamlet, 
to  whom  I  owed  my  present  notice ;  and  I  must  include  it 
among  my  Confessions  that  it  was  about  the  first  advan- 


32  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

tage  I  ever  derived  from  the  relationship.  After  half  an 
hour's  agreeable  chatting,  the  ladies  entered-  and  then  I 
had  time  to  remark  the  extreme  beauty  of  their  appearance. 
They  were  both  wonderfully  like;  and  except  that  Lady 
Jane  was  taller  and  more  womanly,  it  would  have  been 
almost  impossible  to  discriminate  between  them. 

Lady  Jane  Callonby  was  then  about  twenty  years  of  age, 
rather  above  the  middle  size,  and  slightly  disposed  towards 
embonpoint;  her  eye  was  of  the  deepest  and  most  liquid 
blue,  and  rendered  apparently  darker  by  long  lashes  of  the 
blackest  jet,  — for  such  was  the  color  of  her  hair;  her  nose 
slightly,  but  slightly,  deviated  from  the  straightness  of  the 
Greek,  and  her  upper  lip  was  faultless,  as  were  her  mouth 
and  chin.  The  whole  lower  part  of  the  face,  from  the  per- 
fect repose  and  from  the  carriage  of  her  head,  had  certainly 
a  great  air  of  hauteur;  but  the  extreme  melting  softness  of 
her  eyes  took  from  this,  and  when  she  spoke,  there  was  a 
quiet  earnestness  in  her  mild  and  musical  voice  that  dis- 
armed you  at  once  of  connecting  the  idea  of  self  with  the 
speaker.  The  word  "fascinating,"  more  than  any  other  I 
know  of,  conveys  the  effect  of  her  appearance ;  and  to  pro- 
duce it,  she  had,  more  than  any  other  woman  I  ever  met, 
that  wonderful  gift,  Vart  de  plaire. 

I  was  roused  from  my  perhaps  too  earnest,  because  un- 
conscious, gaze  at  the  lovely  figure  before  me  by  his  lord- 
ship saying,  "Mr.  Lorrequer,  her  ladyship  is  waiting  for 
you."  I  accordingly  bowed,  and  offering  my  arm,  led  her 
into  the  dinner-room.  And  here  I  draw  rein  for  the  pres- 
ent, reserving  for  my  next  chapter  my  adventures  at 
Callonby. 


CHAPTER  III. 

LIFE   AT    CALLONBY. — LOVE-MAKING.  — MISS    o'DOWD's 

ADVENTURE. 

My  first  evening  at  Callonby  passed  off  as  nearly  all  first 
evenings  do  everywhere.  His  lordship  was  most  agreeable ; 
talked  much  of  my  uncle,  Sir  Guy,  whose  fag  he  had  been 
at  Eton  half  a  century  before,  promised  me  some  capital 
shooting  in  his  preserves,  discussed  the  state  of  politics, 
and  as  the  second  decanter  of  port  "waned  apace,"  grew 
wondrous  confidential,  and  told  me  of  his  intention  to  start 
his  son  for  the  county  at  the  next  general  election,  such 
being  the  object  which  had  now  conferred  the  honor  of  his 
presence  on  his  Irish  estates. 

Her  ladyship  was  most  condescendingly  civil ;  vouchsafed 
much  tender  commiseration  for  my  "exile,"  as  she  termed 
my  quarters  in  Kilrush;  wondered  how  I  could  possibly 
exist  in  a  marching  regiment  (who  had  never  been  in  the 
cavalry  in  my  life !) ;  spoke  quite  feelingly  of  my  kindness 
in  joining  their  stupid  family  party,  for  they  were  living, 
to  use  her  own  phrase,  "like  hermits;"  and  wound  up  all 
by  a  playful  assurance  that  as  she  perceived,  from  all  my 
answers,  that  I  was  bent  on  preserving  a  strict  incognito, 
she  would  tell  no  tales  about  me  on  her  return  to  "town." 
Now,  it  may  readily  be  believed  that  all  this  and  many 
more  of  her  ladyship's  allusions  were  a  "  Chaldee  manu- 
script "  to  me.  That  she  knew  certain  facts  of  my  family 
and  relations  was  certain,  but  that  she  had  interwoven  in 
the  humble  web  of  my  history  a  very  pretty  embroidery  of 
fiction  was  equally  so;  and  while  she  thus  ran  on,  with 
innumerable  allusions  to  Lady  Marys  and  Lord  Johns,  who 
she  pretended  to  suppose  were  dying  to  hear  from  me,  I 
could  not  help  muttering  to  myself,  with  good  Christopher 
VOL.  i. —  3 


34  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Sly,  "An  all  this  be  true,  then  Lord  be  thanked  for  my 
good  amends ;"  for  up  to  that  moment  I  was  an  ungrateful 
man  for  all  such  high  and  noble  solicitude.  One  dark 
doubt  shot  for  an  instant  across  my  brain.  Mayhap  her 
ladyship  had  "registered  a  vow"  never  to  syllable  a  name 
unchronicled  by  Debrett,  or  was  actually  only  mystifying 
me  for  mere  amusement.  A  minute's  consideration  dis- 
pelled this  fear;  for  I  found  myself  treated  en  seigneur  by 
the  whole  family.  As  for  the  daughters  of  the  house,  no- 
thing could  possibly  be  more  engaging  than  their  manner. 
The  eldest,  Lady  Jane,  was  pleased,  from  my  near  relation- 
ship to  her  father's  oldest  friend,  to  receive  me  "  from  the 
first"  on  the  most  friendly  footing,  while  with  the  younger, 
Lady  Catherine,  from  her  being  less  reserved  than  her  sis- 
ter, my  progress  was  even  greater;  and  thus,  before  we  sep- 
arated for  the  night,  I  contrived  to  "  take  up  my  position  " 
in  such  a  fashion  as  to  be  already  looked  upon  as  one  of  the 
family  party,  —  to  which  object  Lord,  and  indeed  Lady 
Callonby  seemed  most  willing  to  contribute,  and  made  me 
promise  to  spend  the  entire  of  the  following  day  at  Cal- 
lonby, and  as  many  of  the  succeeding  ones  as  my  military 
duties  would  permit. 

As  his  lordship  was  wishing  me  good-night  at  the  door 
of  the  drawing-room,  he  said,  in  a  half-whisper,  — 

"We  were  ignorant  yesterday,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  how  soon 
we  should  have  the  pleasure  of  seeing  you  here;  and  you 
are  therefore  condemned  to  a  small  room  off  the  library,  it 
being  the  only  one  we  can  insure  you  as  being  well  aired. 
I  must  therefore  apprise  you  that  you  are  not  to  be  shocked 
at  finding  yourself  surrounded  by  every  member  of  my 
family  hung  up  in  frames  around  you.  But  as  the  room 
is  usually  my  own  snuggery,  I  have  resigned  it  without 
any  alteration  whatever." 

The  apartment  for  which  his  lordship  had  so  strongly 
apologized  stood  in  very  pleasing  contrast  to  my  late  one 
in  Kilrush.  The  soft  Persian  carpet,  on  which  one's  feet 
sank  to  the  very  ankles;  the  brightly  polished  dogs,  upon 
which  a  blazing    wood-fire    burned;    the   well-upholstered 


LITE  AT  CALLONBY.  35 

fauteuils  which  seemed  to  invite  sleep  without  the  trouble 
of  lying  down  for  it;  and,  last  of  all,  the  ample  and  luxuri- 
ous bed,  upon  whose  rich  purple  hangings  the  ruddy  glare 
of  the  fire  threw  a  most  mellow  light,  —  were  all  a  pleasing 
exchange  for  the  garniture  of  the  "Hotel  Healy." 

"Certes,   Harry  Lorrequer, "  said  T,   as  T  threw  myself 
upon  a  small  ottoman  before  the  fire,  in  all  the  slippered 
ease  and  abandon  of  a  man  who  has  changed  a  dress-coat 
for  a  morning  gown,  —  "'certes,  thou  art  destined  for  great 
things ;  even  here,  where  fate  had  seemed  '  to  do  its  worst ' 
to  thee,  a  little  paradise  opens,  and  what  to  ordinary  mor- 
tals had  proved  but  a  '  flat,  stale,  and  most  unprofitable ' 
quarter,  presents  to  thee  all  the  accumulated  delight  of  an 
hospitable  mansion,  a  kind,  almost  friendly  host,  a  conde- 
scending Madame  Mere,  and  daughers  too !  ah,  ye  gods !  — 
But  what  is  this?"     And  here  for  the  first  time  lifting  up 
my  eyes,  I  perceived  a  beautiful  water-color  drawing  in  the 
style  of  "Chalon,"  which  was  placed  above  the  chimney- 
piece.     I  rose  at  once,  and  taking  a  candle  proceeded  to 
examine  it  more  minutely.    It  was  a  portrait  of  Lady  Jane, 
a  full-length  too,   and  wonderfully  like;    there  was   more 
complexion,  and  perhaps  more  roundness  of  the  figure  than 
her  present  appearance  would  justify ;  but  if  anything  was 
gained  in  brilliancy,  it  was  certainly  lost  in  point  of  ex- 
pression, and  I  infinitely  preferred  her  pale  but  beautifully 
fair  countenance  to  the  rosy  cheek  of  the  picture.     The 
figure  was  faultless ;  the  same  easy  grace,  the  result  of  per- 
fect symmetry  and  refinement  together,  which  only  one  in 
a  thousand  of  handsome  girls  possess,  was  portrayed  to  the 
life.     The  more  I  looked,  the  more  I  felt  charmed  with  it. 
Never  had  I  seen  anything  so  truly  characteristic  as  this 
sketch,  for  it  was  scarcely  more.     It  was  after  nearly  an 
hour's  quiet  contemplation  that  I  began  to  remember  the 
lateness  of  the  night,  —  an  hour  in  which  my  thoughts  had 
rambled  from  the  lovely  object  before  me  to  wonder  at  the 
situation  in  which  I  found  myself  placed;  for  there  was  so 
much  of  "  attention  "  towards  me,  in  the  manner  of  every 
member  of  the  family,  coupled  with  certain  mistakes  as  to 


36  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

my  habits  and  acquaintances,  as  left  me  perfectly  unable 
to  unravel  the  mystery  which  so  evidently  surrounded  me. 
"Perhaps,"  thought  I,  "Sir  Guy  has  written  in  my  behalf 
to  his  lordship.  Oh!  he  would  never  do  anything  half  so 
civil.  Well,  to  be  sure,  I  shall  astonish  them  at  head- 
quarters: they  '11  not  believe  this.  I  wonder  if  Lady  Jane 
saw  my  Hamlet;  for  they  landed  in  Cork  from  Bristol 
about  that  time.  She  is  indeed  a  most  beautiful  girl.  I 
wish  I  were  a  marquis,  if  it  were  only  for  her  sake.  Well, 
my  Lord  Callonby,  you  may  be  a  very  wise  man  in  the 
House  of  Lords;  but  I  would  just  ask,  is  it  exactly  prudent 
to  introduce  into  your  family,  on  terms  of  such  perfect  inti- 
macy, a  young,  fascinating,  well-looking  fellow  of  four- 
and-twenty,  albeit  only  a  subaltern,  with  two  such  daughters 
as  you  have?  Peut-etre!  One  thing  is  certain  —  /  have 
no  cause  of  complaint;  and  so  good-night,  Lady  Jane." 
And  with  these  words  I  fell  asleep,  to  dream  of  the  deepest 
blue  eyes  and  the  most  melting  tones  that  ever  reduced  a 
poor  lieutenant  in  a  marching  regiment  to  curse  his  fate 
that  he  could  not  call  the  Commander  of  the  Forces  his 
father. 

When  I  descended  to  the  breakfast-room,  I  found  the 
whole  family. assembled  in  a  group  around  Lord  Kilkee, 
who  had  just  returned  from  a  distant  part  of  the  county, 
where  he  had  been  canvassing  the  electors  and  spouting 
patriotism  the  day  before.  He  was  giving  an  account  of 
his  progress  with  much  spirit  and  humor  as  I  entered;  but 
on  seeing  me,  immediately  came  forward  and  shook  hands 
with  me  like  an  old  acquaintance.  By  Lord  Callonby  and 
the  ladies  I  was  welcomed  also  with  much  courtesy  and 
kindness,  and  some  slight  badinage  passed  upon  my  sleep- 
ing in  what  Lord  Kilkee  called  the  "Picture  Gallery," 
which,  for  all  I  knew  to  the  contrary,  contained  but  one 
fair  portrait.  I  am  not  a  believer  in  Mesmer;  but  certainly 
there  must  have  been  some  influence  at  work  very  like  what 
we  hear  of  in  magnetism,  for  before  the  breakfast  was  con- 
cluded there  seemed  at  once  to  spring  up  a  perfect  under- 
standing between  this  family  and  myself,  which  made  me 


LIFE   AT  CALLONBY.  37 

feel  as  much  chez  moi  as  I  had  ever  done  in  my  life;  and 
from  that  hour  I  may  date  an  intimacy  which  every  suc- 
ceeding day  but  served  to  increase. 

After  breakfast  Lord  Callonby  consigned  me  to  the  guid- 
ance of  his  son,  and  we  sallied  forth  to  deal  destruction 
amongst  the  pheasants,  with  which  the  preserves  were 
stocked;  and  here  I  may  observe,  en  passant,  that  with 
the  single  exception  of  fox-hunting,  which  was  ever  a 
passion  with  me,  I  never  could  understand  that  inveterate 
pursuit  of  game  to  which  some  men  devote  themselves. 
Thus,  grouse-shooting  and  its  attendant  pleasures  of  stump- 
ing over  a  boggy  mountain  from  daylight  till  dark,  never 
had  much  attraction  for  me;  and  as  to  the  delights  of 
widgeon  and  wild-duck  shooting,  when  purchased  by  sit- 
ting up  all  night  in  a  barrel  with  your  eye  to  the  bung, 
I'll  none  of  it.  No,  no!  give  me  shooting  or  angling 
merely  as  a  divertimento,  a  pleasant  interlude  between 
breakfast  and  luncheon-time,  when,  consigning  your  Man- 
ton  to  a  corner  and  the  gamekeeper  "to  the  dogs,"  you  once 
more  humanize  your  costume  to  take  a  canter  with  the 
daughters  of  the  house,  or,  if  the  day  look  loweringly,  a 
match  of  billiards  with  the  men. 

T  have  ever  found  that  the  happiest  portions  of  existence 
are  the  most  difficult  to  chronicle.  We  may  —  nay,  we  must 
—  impart  our  miseries  and  annoyances  to  our  many  "dear 
friends"  whose  forte  is  sympathy  or  consolation;  and  all 
men  are  eloquent  on  the  subject  of  their  woes,  — not  so  with 
their  joys.  Some  have  a  miser-like  pleasure  in  hoarding 
them  up  for  their  own  private  gratification;  others  —  and 
they  are  prudent  —  feel  that  the  narrative  is  scarcely  agree- 
able even  to  their  best  friends ;  and  a  few  —  of  whom  I  con- 
fess myself  one  —  are  content  to  be  happy  without  knowing 
why,  and  to  have  pleasant  souvenirs  without  being  able  to 
explain  them. 

Such  must  be  my  apology  for  not  more  minutely  entering 
upon  an  account  of  my  life  at  Callonby.  A  fortnight  had 
now  seen  me  enfonce,  the  daily  companion  of  two  beautiful 
girls  m  all  their  walks  and  rides  through  a  romantic,  un* 


38  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

frequented  country,  seeing  but  little  of  the  other  members 
of  the  family;  the  gentlemen  being  entirely  occupied  with 
their  election  tactics,  and  Lady  Callonby,  being  a  late  riser, 
seldom  appearing  before  the  dinner  hour.  There  was  not 
a  cliff  on  the  bold  and  rocky  coast  we  did  not  climb,  not 
a  cave  upon  the  pebbly  beach  unvisited.  Sometimes  my 
fair  companions  would  bring  a  volume  of  Metastasis  down 
to  the  little  river  where  I  used  to  angle,  and  the  "gentle 
craft"  was  often  abandoned  for  the  heart-thrilling  verses 
of  that  delightful  poet.  Yes,  many  years  have  passed  over, 
and  these  scenes  are  still  as  fresh  in  my  memory  as  though 
they  had  been  of  yesterday.  In  my  memory,  I  say,  "as  for 
thee,  — 

"  Chi  sa  se  niai 
Ti  sovverrai  di  me  ? " 

At  the  end  of  three  weeks  the  house  became  full  of  com- 
pany, from  the  garret  to  the  cellar.  Country  gentlemen 
and  their  wives  and  daughters  came  pouring  in  on  every 
species  of  conveyance  known  since  the  Flood;  family 
coaches,  which  but  for  their  yellow  panels  might  have 
been  mistaken  for  hearses,  and  high  barouches,  the  as- 
cent to  which  was  accomplished  by  a  step-ladder,  followed 
each  other  in  what  appeared  a  never-ending  succession. 
And  here  T  may  note  an  instance  of  the  anomalous  char- 
acter of  the  conveyances,  from  an  incident  to  which  I  was 
a  witness  at  the  time. 

Among  the  visitors  on  the  second  day  came  a  maiden 
lady  from  the  neighborhood  of  Ennistimon,  Miss  Elizabeth 
O'Dowd,  the  last  of  a  very  old  and  highly  respectable  fam- 
ily in  the  county,  and  whose  extensive  property,  thickly 
studded  with  freeholders,  was  a  strong  reason  for  her  being 
paid  every  attention  in  Lord  Callonby 's  power  to  bestow. 
Miss  Betty  O'Dowd  —  for  so  she  was  popularly  styled  — 
was  the  very  personification  of  an  old  maid;  stiff  as  a  ram- 
rod, and  so  rigid  in  observance  of  the  proprieties  of  female 
conduct  that  in  the  estimation  of  the  Clare  gentry  Diana 
was  a  hoyden  compared  to  her. 

Miss  Betty  lived,  as  I  have  said,  near  Ennistimon,  and 


LITE  AT  CALLONBY.  39 

the  road  from  thence  to  Callonby  at  the  time  I  speak  of  — 
it  was  before  Mr.  Nimmo  —  was  as  like  the  bed  of  a  moun- 
tain torrent  as  a  respectable  highway.  There  were  holes 
that  would  have  made  a  grave  for  any  maiden  lady  within 
fifty  miles,  and  rocks  thickly  scattered  enough  to  prove 
fatal  to  the  strongest  wheels  that  ever  issued  from  "Hut- 
tun's."  Miss  O'Dowd  knew  this  well;  she  had  upon  one 
occasion  been  upset  in  travelling  it,  and  a  slate-colored 
silk  dress  bore  the  dye  of  every  species  of  mud  and  mire  to 
be  found  there,  for  many  a  year  after,  to  remind  her  of  her 
misfortune  and  keep  open  the  wound  of  her  sorrow.  When, 
therefore,  the  invitation  to  Callonby  arrived,  a  grave  coun- 
cil of  war  was  summoned  to  deliberate  upon  the  mode  of 
transit,  for  the  honor  could  not  be  declined,  coiite  qu'il 
coute.  The  chariot  was  out  of  the  question,  —  Nicholas 
declared  it  would  never  reach  the  "Moraan  Beg,"  as  the 
first  precipice  was  called;  the  inside  car  was  long  since 
pronounced  unfit  for  hazardous  enterprise;  and  the  only 
resource  left  was  what  is  called  in  Hibernian  parlance  a 
"low-backed  car,"  that  is,  a  car  without  any  back  what- 
ever, it  being  neither  more  nor  less  than  the  common 
agricultural  conveyance  of  the  country,  upon  which,  a 
feather-bed  being  laid,  the  farmers'  wives  and  daughters 
are  generally  conveyed  to  fairs,  wakes,  and  stations,  etc. 
Putting  her  dignity,  if  not  in  her  pocket,  at  least  wherever 
it  could  be  most  easily  accommodated,  Miss  O'Dowd  placed 
her  fair  self,  in  all  the  plenitude  of  her  charms  and  the 
grandeur  of  a  "bran-new  green  silk,"  a  "little  off  the  grass, 
and  on  the  bottle  "  (I  love  to  be  particular),  upon  this  hum- 
ble conveyance,  and  set  out  on  her  way,  if  not  "rejoicing," 
at  least  consoled  by  Nicholas  that  "It  'id  be  black  dark 
when  they  reached  the  house,  and  the  devil  a  one  'id  be  the 
wiser  than  if  she  came  in  a  coach  and  four. "  Nicholas  was 
right;  it  was  perfectly  dark  on  their  arrival  at  Callonby, 
and  Miss  O'Dowd,  having  dismounted  and  shaken  her  plum- 
age, a  little  crumpled  by  her  half-recumbent  position  for 
eight  miles,  appeared  in  the  drawing-room  to  receive  the 
most  courteous  attentions  from  l>ady  Callonby,  and  from 


40  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

his  lordship  the  most  flattering  speeches  for  her  kindness 
in  risking  herself  and  bringing  "her  horses"  on  such  a 
dreadful  road,  and  assured  her  of  his  getting  a  presentment 
the  very  next  assizes  to  repair  it.  "  For  we  intend,  Miss 
O'Dowd,"  said  he,  "to  he  most  troublesome  neighbors  to 
you  in  future." 

The  evening  passed  off  most  happily.  Miss  O'Dowd  was 
delighted  with  her  hosts,  whose  character  she  resolved  to 
uphold  in  spite  of  their  reputation  for  pride  and  haughti- 
ness. Lady  Jane  sang  an  Irish  melody  for  her,  Lady  Cal- 
lonby  gave  her  slips  of  a  rose  geranium  she  got  from  the 
Princess  Augusta,  and  Lord  Kilkee  won  her  heart  by 
the  performance  of  that  most  graceful  step  yclept  "cover 
the  buckle,"  in  an  Irish  jig.  But  alas!  how  short-lived  is 
human  bliss ;  for  while  this  estimable  lady  revelled  in  the 
full  enjoyment  of  the  hour,  the  sword  of  Damocles  hung 
suspended  above  her  head.  In  plain  English,  she  had  on 
arriving  at  Callonby,  to  prevent  any  unnecessary  scrutiny 
into  the  nature  of  her  conveyance,  ordered  Nicholas  to  be 
at  the  door  punctually  at  eleven,  and  then  to  take  an  oppor- 
tunity of  quietly  slipping  open  the  drawing-room  door  and 
giving  her  an  intimation  of  it,  that  she  might  take  her 
leave  at  once.  Nicholas  was  up  to  time;  and  having  dis- 
posed the  conveyance  under  the  shadow  of  the  porch,  made 
his  way  to  the  door  of  the  drawing-room  unseen  and  unob- 
served. He  opened  it  gently  and  noiselessly,  merely  suffi- 
cient to  take  a  survey  of  the  apartment,  in  which,  from  the 
glare  of  the  lights  and  the  busy  hum  of  voices,  he  was  so 
bewildered  that  it  was  some  minutes  before  he  recognized 
his  mistress.  At  last  he  perceived  her :  she  was  seated  at 
a  card-table,  playing  whist  with  Lord  Callonby  for  her  part- 
ner. Who  the  other  players  were,  he  knew  not.  A  proud 
man  was  Nicholas  as  he  saw  his  mistress  thus  placed,  actu- 
ally sitting,  as  he  afterwards  expressed  it,  "forenint  the 
lord;"  but  his  thoughts  were  bent  on  other  matters,  and  it 
was  no  time  to  indulge  his  vauntings. 

He  strove  for  some  time  patiently  to  catch  her  eye,  —  for 
she  was  so  situated  as  to  permit  of  this,  — but  without  sue- 


LIFE  AT  CALLONBY. 


41 


cess.  He  then  made  a  slight  attempt  to  attract  her  atten- 
tion by  beckoning  with  his  finger,  —  all  in  vain.  "  Oh, 
murther!"  said  he,  "what  is  this  for?  I'll  have  to  spake 
afther  all." 

"Four  by  honors,"  said  his  lordship,  "and  the  odd  trick. 
Another  double,  I  believe,  Miss  O'Dowd." 


Miss  O'Dowd  nodded  a  graceful  assent,  while  a  sharp- 
looking  old  dowager  at  the  side  of  the  table  called  out,  "A 
rubber  of  four  only,  my  lord;"  and  now  began  an  explana- 
tion from  the  whole  party  at  once.  Nicholas  saw  this  was 
his  time,  and  thought  that  in  the  melee  his  hint  might 
reach  his  mistress  unobserved  by  the  remainder  of  the  com- 
pany. He  accordingly  protruded  his  head  into  the  room, 
and  placing  his  finger  on  the  side  of  his  nose  and  shutting 
one  eye  knowingly,  with  an  air  of  great  secrecy,  whispered 
out,  "Miss  Betty  —  Miss  Betty,  alanah!"     For  some  min- 


42  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

utes  the  hum  of  the  voices  drowned  his  admonitions;  but 
as  by  degrees  waxing  warmer  in  the  cause,  he  called  out 
more  loudly,  every  eye  was  turned  to  the  spot  from  whence 
these  extraordinary  sounds  proceeded;  and  certainly  the  ap- 
pearance of  Nicholas  at  the  moment  was  well  calculated  to 
astonish  the  company  of  a  drawing-room.  With  his  one  eye 
fixed  eagerly  in  the  direction  of  his  mistress,  his  red  scratch 
wig  pushed  back  off  his  forehead,  in  the  eagerness  of  his 
endeavor  to  be  heard,  there  he  stood,  perfectly  unmindful 
of  all  around,  save  Miss  O'Dowd  herself.  It  may  well  be 
believed  that  such  an  apparition  could  not  be  witnessed 
with  gravity,  and,  accordingly,  a  general  titter  ran  through 
the  room,  the  whist  party,  still  contending  about  odd  tricks 
and  honors,  being  the  only  persons  insensible  to  the  mirth 
around  them.  "  Miss  Betty,  arrah,  Miss  Betty !  "  said  Nich- 
olas, with  a  sigh  that  converted  the  subdued  laughter  of 
the  guests  into  a  perfect  burst  of  mirth. 

"Eh,"  said  his  lordship,  turning  round,  "what  is  this? 
We  are  losing  something  excellent,  I  fear." 

At  this  moment  he  caught  a  glimpse  of  Nicholas,  and 
throwing  himself  back  in  his  chair,  laughed  immoderately. 
It  was  now  Miss  Betty's  turn;  she  was  about  to  rise  from 
the  table,  when  the  well-known  accents  of  Nicholas  fell 
upon  her  ear.  She  fell  back  in  her  seat,  — there  he  was; 
the  messenger  of  the  foul  fiend  himself  would  have  been 
more  welcome  at  that  moment.  Her  blood  rushed  to  her 
face  and  temples,  her  hands  tingled,  she  closed  her  eyes; 
and  when  she  opened  them,  there  stood  the  accursed  Nich- 
olas glowering  at  her  still. 

"Man  —  man!"  said  she  at  length,  "what  do  you  mean? 
What  do  you  want  here?  " 

Poor  Nicholas,  little  guessing  that  the  question  was  in- 
tended to  throw  a  doubt  upon  her  acquaintance  with  him. 
and  conceiving  that  the  hour  for  the  announcement  had 
come,  hesitated  for  an  instant  how  he  should  designate 
the  conveyance.  He  could  not  call  it  a  coach;  it  certainly 
was  not  a  buggy,  neither  was  it  a  jaunting  car:  what 
should  he  say?    He  looked  earnestly,  and  even  imploringly, 


LIFE  AT  CALLONBY.  43 

at  his  mistress,  as  if  to  convey  some  sense  of  his  difficulty, 
and  then,  as  it  were  catching  a  sudden  inspiration,  winked 
once  more,  as  he  said,  — 

"  Miss  Betty  —  the  —  the  —  the  —  " —  and  here  he  looked 
indescribably  droll  —  "the  thing,  you  know,  is  at  the  door." 

All  his  lordship's  politeness  was  too  little  for  the  occa- 
sion, and  Miss  O'Dowd's  tenantry  were  lost  to  the  Callonby 
interest  forever. 


CHAPTER   IV. 

BOTANICAL   STUDIES. THE    NATURAL   SYSTEM    PREFERABLE 

TO    THE    LINNiEAN. 

"The  carriage  is  at  the  door,  my  lord,"  said  a  servant, 
entering  the  luncheon-roorn  where  we  were  all  assembled. 

"  Now  then,  Mr.  Lorrequer, "  said  Lord  Callonby,  "  allons, 
take  another  glass  of  wine,  and  let  us  away.  I  expect  you 
to  make  a  most  brilliant  speech,  remember !  " 

His  lordship  here  alluded  to  our  intention  of  visiting  a 
remote  barony,  where  a  meeting  of  the  freeholders  was  that 
day  to  be  held,  and  at  which  I  was  pledged  for  a  "neat  and 
appropriate"  oration  in  abuse  of  the  Corn-laws  and  the 
Holy  Alliance. 

"I  beg  pardon,  my  lord,"  said  her  ladyship,  in  a  most 
languishing  tone,  "but  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  pre-engaged.  He 
has  for  the  last  week  been  promising  and  deferring  his  visit 
to  the  new  conservatory  with  me,  where  he  is  to  find  out 
four  or  five  of  the  Swiss  shrubs  that  Collins  cannot  make 
out,  and  which  I  am  dying  to  know  all  about." 

"Mr.  Lorrequer  is  a  false  man,  then,"  said  Lady  Cathe- 
rine; "for  he  said  at  breakfast  that  we  should  devote  this 
afternoon  to  the  chalk  caves,  as  the  tide  will  be  so  far  out 
that  we  can  see  them  all  perfectly. " 

"  And  I, "  said  Lord  Kilkee,  "  must  put  in  my  plea  that 
the  aforesaid  Mr.  Lorrequer  is  booked  for  a  coursing-match 
— '  Mouche  versus  Jessie.'     Guilty,  or  not  guilty?" 

Lady  Jane  alone  of  all  said  not  a  word. 

"Guilty  on  every  count  of  the  indictment,"  said  I;  "I 
throw  myself  on  the  mercy  of  the  court." 

"Let  his  sentence  then  be  banishment,'-  said  LadyCathe- 
rine,  with  affected  anger,  "and  let  him  go  with  papa." 


BOTANICAL  STUDIES.  45 

"  I  rather  think, "  said  Lord  Kilkee,  "  the  better  plan  is 
to  let  him  visit  the  conservatory;  for  I  'd  wager  a  fifty  he 
finds  it  more  difficult  to  invent  botany  than  canvass  free- 
holders, eh?" 

"I  am  sure,"  said  Lady  Jane,  for  the  first  time  breaking 
silence,  "that  mamma  is  infinitely  flattered  by  the  proposal 
that  Mr.  Lorrequer's  company  is  to  be  conferred  upon  her 
for  her  sins." 

"  I  am  not  to  be  affronted  nor  quizzed  out  of  my  chaperon. 
Here,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  rising,  "get 
Smith's  book  there,  and  let  me  have  your  arm;  and  now, 
young  ladies,  come  along,  and  learn  something,  if  you 
can." 

"An  admirable  proviso,"  said  Lord  Kilkee,  laughing,  "if 
his  botany  be  only  as  authentic  as  the  autographs  he  gave 
Mrs.  MacDermot,  and  all  of  which  he  wrote  himself,  in  my 
dressing-room,  in  half  an  hour.  Napoleon  was  the  only 
difficult  one  in  the  number." 

Most  fortunately  this  unfair  disclosure  did  not  reach  her 
ladyship's  ears,  as  she  was  busily  engaged  putting  on  her 
bonnet,  and  I  was  yet  unassailed  in  reputation  to  her. 

"Good-by,  then,"  said  Lord  Callonby;  "we  meet  at 
seven."  And  in  a  few  moments  the  little  party  were 
scattered  to  their  several  destinations. 

"How  very  hot  you  have  this  place,  Collins,"  said  Lady 
Callonby,  as  we  entered  the  conservatory. 

"  Only  seventy-five,  my  lady,  and  the  magnolias  require 
heat."  ' 

I  here  dropped  a  little  behind,  as  if  to  examine  a  plant, 
and  in  a  half-whisper  said  to  Lady  Jane,  — 

"  How  came  it  that  you  alone,  Lady  Jane,  should  forget 
that  I  had  made  another  appointment?  I  thought  you 
wished  to  make  a  sketch  of  Craigmoran  Abbey.  Did  you 
forget  that  we  were  to  ride  there  to-day?" 

Before  she  could  reply,  Lady  Callonby  called  out :  "  Oh ! 
here  it  is,  Mr.  Lorrequer.  Is  this  a  heath?  that  is  the 
question." 

Here  her  ladyship  pointed  to  a  little  scrubby  thing  that 


46  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

looked  very  like  a  birch  rod.  I  proceeded  to  examine  it 
most  minutely,  while  Collins  waited  with  all  the  intense 
anxiety  of  a  man  whose  character  depended  on  the 
sentence. 

"Collins  will  have  it  a  jungermania, "  said  she. 

"And  Collins  is  right,"  said  I,  not  trusting  myself  with 
the  pronunciation  of  the  awful  word  her  ladyship  uttered. 

Collins  looked  ridiculously  happy. 

"Now  that  is  so  delightful,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  as  she 
stopped  to  look  for  another  puzzle. 

"  What  a  wretch  it  is, "  said  Lady  Catherine,  covering  her 
face  with  a  handkerchief. 

"What  a  beautiful  little  flower,"  said  Lady  Jane,  lifting 
up  the  bell  of  a  lobelia  splendens. 

"You  know,  of  course,"  said  I,  "what  they  call  that 
flower  in  France, — L' 'amour  tendre." 

"Indeed!" 

"  True,  I  assure  you.  May  I  present  you  with  this  sprig 
of  it? "  cutting  off  a  small  twig,  and  presenting  it  at  the 
same  instant  unseen  by  the  others. 

She  hesitated  for  an  instant,  and  then  extending  her  fair 
and  taper  hand,  took  it.  I  dared  not  look  at  her  as  she  did 
so,  but  a  proud,  swelling  triumph  at  my  heart  nearly  choked 
me. 

"  Now,  Collins, "  said  Lady  Callonby,  "  I  cannot  find  the 
Alpen-tree  I  brought  from  the  Griindenwald." 

Collins  hurried  forward  to  her  ladyship's  side. 

Lady  Catherine  was  also  called  to  assist  in  the  search. 

I  was  alone  with  Lady  Jane. 

"Now  or  never,"  thought  I.  I  hesitated  —  I  stammered; 
my  voice  faltered.  She  saw  my  agitation ;  she  participated 
in  and  increased  it.  At  last  I  summoned  up  courage  to 
touch  her  hand;  she  gently  withdrew  it,  but  so  gently,  it 
was  not  a  repulse. 

"If,  Lady  Jane,"  said  I  at  length,  "if  the  devoted  —  " 

"  Holloa,  there ! "  said  a  deep  voice  without,  "  is  Mr. 
Lorrequer  there?  " 

It  was  Lord  Kilkee,  returned  from  his  coursing-match. 


BOTANICAL  STUDIES.  47 

None  but  lie  who  has  felt  such  an  interruption  can  feel  for 
me.  I  shame  to  say  that  his  brotherhood  to  her  for  whom 
I  would  have  perilled  my  life,  restrained  me  not  from  some- 
thing very  like  a  hearty  commendation  of  him  to  the  powers 
that  burn. 

"Down,  dogs!  there,  down!"  continued  he;  and  in  a 
moment  after  entered  the  conservatory,  flushed  and  heated 
with  the  chase. 

"  Mouche  is  the  winner,  —  two  to  one ;  and  so,  Master 
Shallow,  I  owe  you  a  thousand  pounds." 

Would  to  Heaven  that  I  had  lost  the  wager,  had  it  only 
taken  a  little  longer  to  decide  it!  I  of  course  appeared 
overjoyed  at  my  dog's  success,  and  listened  with  great  pre- 
tence of  interest  to  the  narrative  of  the  "  run, "  —  the  more  so 
because,  that  though  perhaps  more  my  friend  than  the  older 
members  of  the  family,  Lord  Kilkee  evidently  liked  less 
than  they  my  growing  intimacy  with  his  sister ;  and  I  was 
anxious  to  blind  him  on  the  present  occasion,  when,  but  for 
his  recent  excitement,  very  little  penetration  would  have 
enabled  him  to  detect  that  something  unusual  had  taken 
place. 

It  was  now  so  nearly  dark  that  her  ladyship's  further 
search  for  the  alpine  treasure  became  impossible,  and  so  we 
turned  our  steps  towards  the  garden,  where  we  continued  to 
walk  till  joined  by  Lord  Callonby.  And  now  began  a  most 
active  discussion  upon  agriculture,  rents,  tithes,  and  Tory- 
ism, in  which  the  ladies  took  but  little  part;  and  I  had 
the  mortification  to  perceive  that  Lady  Jane  was  excessively 
bored,  and  seized  the  first  opportunity  to  leave  the  party  and 
return  to  the  house,  — while  her  sister  gave  me  from  time 
to  time  certain  knowing  glances,  as  if  intimating  that  my 
knowledge  of  farming  and  political  economy  were  pretty 
much  on  a  par  with  my  proficiency  in  botany. 

"  One  has  discovered  me,  at  least, "  thought  I ;  but  the  bell 
had  rung  to  dress  for  dinner,  and  I  hastened  to  my  room  to 
think  over  future  plans,  and  once  more  wonder  at  the  sin- 
gular position  into  which  fate  and  the  "  rules  of  the  service  " 
had  thrown  me. 


CHAPTER  V. 

PUZZLED.  EXPLANATION    MAKES    BAD    WORSE. A    DUEL. 

"Any  letters?"  said  her  ladyship  to  a  servant  as  she 
crossed  the  hall. 

"Only  one,  my  lady,  — for  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  believe." 
"Forme!"  thought  I;  "how  is  this?"  My  letters  had 
been  hitherto  always  left  in  Kilrush.  Why  was  this  for- 
warded here?  I  hurried  to  the  drawing-room,  where  I 
found  a  double  letter  awaiting  me.  The  writing  was 
Curzon's,  and  contained  the  words,  "To  be  forwarded  with 
haste,"  on  the  direction.     I  opened  and  read  as  follows : 

Dear  Lorrequer,  —  Have  you  any  recollection,  among  your  nu- 
merous "  escapades  "  at  Cork,  of  having  grievously  insulted  a  certain 
Mr.  Giles  Beamish  in  thought,  word,  or  deed?  If  you  have,  I  say, 
let  me  know  with  all  convenient  despatch  whether  the  offence  he 
one  admitting  of  apology ;  for  if  not,  the  Lord  have  mercy  on  your 
soul!  a  more  wrothy  gentleman  than  the  aforesaid  it  having  rarely 
heen  my  evil  fortune  to  foregather  with.  He  called  here  yesterday 
to  inquire  your  address,  and  at  my  suggestion  wrote  a  note  which 
I  now  enclose.     I  write  in  great  haste,  and  am  ever  yours  faithfully, 

C.  Curzon. 

N.  B.  —  I  have  not  seen  his  note,  so  explain  all  and  everything. 

The  enclosed  ran  thus :  — 

gIR)_It  can  scarcely  have  escaped  your  memory,  though  now 
nearly  two  months  since,  that  at  the  Mayor's  deje-Aner  in  Cork,  you 
were  pleased  to  make  merry  at  my  expense,  and  expose  me  and  my 
family  for  your  amusement.  This  is  to  demand  an  immediate  apol- 
ogy, or  that  satisfaction  which,  as  an  officer,  you  will  not  refuse  your 

most  ohedient  servant, 

Giles  Beamish. 

Swinburne's  Hotel. 


PUZZLED.  49 

"Giles  Beamish!  Giles  Beamish!"  said  I,  repeating  the 
name  in  every  variety  of  emphasis,  hoping  to  obtain  some 
clew  to  the  writer.  Had  I  been  appointed  the  umpire  be- 
tween Dr.  Wall  and  his  reviewers,  in  the  late  controversy 
about  "Phonetic  signs,"  I  could  not  have  been  more  com- 
pletely puzzled  than  by  the  contents  of  this  note.  "  Make 
merry  at  his  expense !  "  a  great  offence  truly,  —  1  suppose  I 
have  laughed  at  better  men  than  ever  he  was ;  and  I  can 
only  say  of  such  innocent  amusement,  as  Falstaff  did  of 
sack  and  sugar,  if  such  be  a  sin,  "then  Heaven  help  the 
wicked!"  But  I  wish  I  knew  who  he  is,  or  what  he  alludes 
to,  provided  he  is  not  mad,  which  I  begin  to  think  not  im- 
probable. "By  the  by,  my  lord,  do  you  know  any  such 
person  in  the  South  as  a  Mr.  Beamish,  — Giles  Beamish?" 

"To  be  sure,"  said  Lord  Callonby,  looking  up  from  his 
newspaper;  "there  are  several  of  the  name,  of  the  highest 
respectability.  One  is  an  alderman  of  Cork,  —  a  very  rich 
man  too;  but  I  don't  remember  his  Christian  name." 

"An  alderman,  did  you  say?" 

"Yes,  Alderman  Beamish  is  very  well  known.  I  have 
seen  him  frequently,  — a  short,  florid  little  man." 

"Oh!  it  must  be  he,"  said  I,  musingly;  "it  must  have 
been  this  worthy  alderman  from  whose  worshipful  person 
I  tore  the  robe  of  office  on  the  night  of  the  fete.  But  what 
does  he  mean  by  '  my  exposing  him  and  his  family  '  ?  Why, 
zounds,  his  wife  and  children  were  not  with  him  on  the 
pavement!  Oh!  I  see  it;  it  is  the  Mansion  House  school 
of  eloquence :  did  not  Sir  William  Curtis  apologize  for  not 
appearing  at  court  from  having  lost  an  eye,  which  he  desig- 
nated as  an  awful  '  domestic  calamity  '?" 

It  being  now  settled  to  my  satisfaction  that  Mr.  Beamish 
and  the  great  uncloaked  were  "convertible  terms,"  I  set 
about  making  the  amende  in  the  most  handsome  manner 
possible.  I  wrote  to  the  alderman  a  most  pacific  epistle, 
regretting  that  my  departure  from  Cork  deprived  me  of 
making  reparation  before,  and  expressing  a  most  anxious 
hope  that  "he  caught  no  cold,"  and  a  fervent  wish  that  "he 
would  live  many  years  to  grace  and  ornament  the  dignity 

VOL.  I.  —4 


50  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

of  which  his  becoming  costume  was  the  emblem."  This  S! 
enclosed  in  a  note  to  Curzon,  telling  him  how  the  matter 
occurred,  and  requesting  that  he  would  send  it  by  his  ser- 
vant, together  with  the  scarlet  vestment,  which  he  would 
find  in  my  dressing-room.  Having  folded  and  sealed  this 
despatch,  I  turned  to  give  Lord  Callonby  an  acount  of  the 
business,  and  showed  him  Beamish's  note,  at  which  he  was 
greatly  amused;  and,  indeed,  it  furnished  food  for  mirth 
for  the  whole  party  during  the  evening.  The  next  morn- 
ing I  set  out  with  Lord  Callonby  on  the  long-threatened 
canvassing  expedition,  with  the  details  of  which  I  need 
not  burden  my  "Confessions."  Suffice  it  to  say  that  when 
Lord  Kilkee  was  advocating  Toryism  in  the  West,  I,  his 
accredited  ambassador,  was  devoting  to  the  infernal  gods 
the  prelacy,  the  peerage,  and  the  pension  list,  —  a  mode  of 
canvass  well  worthy  of  imitation  in  these  troublesome 
times;  for,  not  to  speak  of  the  great  prospect  of  success 
from  having  friends  on  both  sides  of  the  question,  the  prin- 
cipal can  always  divest  himself  of  any  unpleasant  conse- 
quences as  regards  inconsistency  by  throwing  the  blame 
on  his  friend,  "Avko  went  too  far,"  as  the  appropriate 
phrase  is. 

Nothing  could  be  more  successful  than  our  mission.  Lord 
Callonby  was  delighted  beyond  bounds  with  the  prospect, 
and  so  completely  carried  away  by  high  spirits,  and  so  per- 
fectly assured  that  much  of  it  was  owing  to  my  exertions, 
that  on  the  second  morning  of  our  tour  —  for  we  proceeded 
through  the  country  for  three  days  —  he  came  laughing  into 
my  dressing-room  with  a  newspaper  in  his  hand. 

"Here,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  "here  's  news  for  you.  You 
certainly  must  read  this."  And  he  handed  me  a  copy  of 
the  "Clare  Herald,"  with  an  account  of  our  meeting  the 
evening  before. 

After  glancing  my  eye  rapidly  over  the  routine  usual  in 
such  cases,  —  "  Humph,  ha  —  nearly  two  hundred  people  — 
most  respectable  farmers  —  room  appropriately  decorated 
—  'Callonby  Arms  '  — '  after  the  usual  loyal  toasts,  the 
chairman  rose  '  —    Well,  no  matter.     Ah !  here  it  is :  '  Mr. 


PUZZLED.  51 

Lorrequer  here  addressed  the  meeting  with  a  flow  of  elo- 
quence it  has  rarely,  if  ever,  been  our  privilege  to  hear 
equalled.     He  began  by  '  —  humph  —  " 

"Ah!"  said  his  lordship,  impatiently,  "you  will  never 
find  it  out.  Look  here :  '  Mr.  Lorrequer,  whom  we  have 
mentioned  as  having  made  the  highly  exciting  speech,  to 
be  found  on  our  first  page,  is,  we  understand,  the  son  of  Sir 
Guy  Lorrequer,  of  Elton,  in  Shropshire,  one  of  the  wealthi- 
est baronets  in  England.  If  rumor  speaks  truly,  there  is  a 
very  near  prospect  of  an  alliance  between  this  talented  and 
promising  young  gentleman  and  the  beautiful  and  accom- 
plished daughter  of  a  certain  noble  earl  with  whom  he  has 
been  for  some  time  domesticated. '  " 

"Eh,  what  think  you?  Son  of  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer.  I 
always  thought  my  old  friend  a  bachelor;  but  you  see  the 
'  Clare  Herald '  knows  better.  Not  to  speak  of  the  last 
piece  of  intelligence,  it  is  very  good,  is  it  not?" 

"Capital  indeed,"  said  I,  trying  to  laugh,  and  at  the 
same  time  blushing  confoundedly,  and  looking  as  ridicu- 
lous as  needs  be. 

It  now  struck  me  forcibly  that  there  was  something 
extremely  odd  in  his  lordship's  mention  of  this  paragraph, 
particularly  when  coupled  with  his  and  Lady  Callonby's 
manner  to  me  for  the  last  two  months.  They  knew  enough 
of  my  family,  evidently,  to  be  aware  of  my  station  and 
prospects,  —  or  rather  my  want  of  both,  —  and  yet  in  the 
face  of  this  they  not  only  encouraged  me  to  prolong  a  most 
delightful  visit,  but  by  a  thousand  daily  and  dangerous 
opportunities  absolutely  threw  me  in  the  way  of  one  of 
the  loveliest  of  her  sex,  seemingly  without  fear  on  their 
parts.  "  Well !  "  thought  I,  with  my  old  philosophy,  "  Time, 
that '  pregnant  old  gentleman, '  will  disclose  all,  and  so  let 
us  be  patient! " 

My  reveries  on  my  good  and  evil  fortune  were  suddenly 
interrupted  by  a  letter  which  reached  me  that  evening, 
having  been  forwarded  from  Callonby  by  a  special  messen- 
ger. "What!  another  epistle  from  Curzon,"  said  I,  as  my 
eye  caught  the  address;  and  wondering  not  a  little  what 


52  HARRY   LORREQTJER. 

pressing  emergency  had  called  forth  the  words  on  the  cover, 
—  "To  be  forwarded  with  haste,"  —  I  eagerly  broke  the  seal 
and  read  the  following :  — 

My  dear  Harry,  —  I  received  yours  on  the  11th,  and  immedi- 
ately despatched  your  note  and  the  raiment  to  Mr.  Beamish.  He 
was  from  home  at  the  time,  but  at  eight  o'clock  I  was  sent  for  from 
the  mess  to  see  two  gentlemen  on  most  pressing  business.  I  hurried 
to  my  quarters,  and  there  found  the  aforesaid  Mr.  B.,  accompanied 
by  a  friend,  whom  he  introduced  as  Dr.  de  Courcy  Finucane,  of  the 
North  Cork  Militia,  —  as  warlike-looking  a  gentleman,  of  his  inches, 
some  five  feet  three,  as  you  would  wish  to  see.  The  moment  I  ap- 
peared, both  rose,  and  commenced  a  narrative,  for  such  I  judge  it 
to  be,  but  so  energetically  and  so  completely  together  that  I  could 
only  bow  politely,  and  at  last  request  that  one  or  the  other  would 
inform  me  of  the  object  of  their  visit.  Here  began  the  tug  of  war, 
the  doctor  saying,  "  Arrah,  now,  Giles;"  Mr.  Beamish  interrupt- 
ing by  "  Whisht,  I  tell  ye,  —  now,  can't  you  let  me  ?  Ye  see,  Mr. 
Curzoin,"  —  for  so  they  both  agreed  to  designate  me.  At  last,  com- 
pletely worn  out,  I  said,  "  Perhaps  you  have  not  received  my  friend's 
note?"  At  this  Mr.  Beamish  reddened  to  the  eyes,  and  with  the 
greatest  volubility  poured  forth  a  flood  of  indignant  eloquence  that 
I  thought  it  necessary  to  check ;  but  in  this  I  failed,  for  after  in- 
forming me  pretty  clearly  that  he  knew  nothing  of  your  story  of 
the  alderman  or  his  cloak,  added  that  he  firmly  believed  your  pre- 
tended reparation  was  only  a  renewed  insult,  and  that —  But,  in  a 
word,  he  used  such  language  that  I  was  compelled  to  take  him 
short  ;  and  the  finale  is,  that  I  agreed  you  should  meet  him,  though 
still  ignorant  of  what  he  calls  the  "original  offence."  But  Heaven 
knows,  his  conduct  here  last  night  demands  a  reprimand,  and  I  hope 
you  may  give  it ;  and  if  you  shoot  him,  we  may  worm  out  the  secret 
from  his  executors.  Nothing  could  exceed  the  politeness  of  the  par- 
ties on  my  consenting  to  this  arrangement.  Dr.  Finucane  proposed 
Carrigaholt  as  the  rendezvous,  — about  twelve  miles,  I  believe,  from 
Kilrush,  —  and  Tuesday  evening,  at  six,  as  the  time,  which  will  be 
the  very  earliest  moment  we  can  arrive  there.  So  pray  be  up  to 
time,  and  believe  me  yours, 

C.  Curzon. 

Saturday  Evening. 

It  was  late  on  Monday  evening  when  this  letter  reached 
me,  and  there  was  no  time  to  be  lost,  as  I  was  then  about 
forty  Irish  miles  from  the  place  mentioned  by  Curzon;  so, 


PUZZLED.  53 

after  briefly  acquainting  Lord  Callonby  that  I  was  called 
off  by  duty,  I  hurried  to  my  room  to  pack  my  clothes  and 
again  read  over  this  extraordinary  epistle. 

I  confess  it  did  appear  something  droll,  how  completely 
Curzon  seemed  to  imbibe  the  passion  for  fighting  from 
these  "  bloodthirsty  Irishmen  ; "  for  by  his  own  showing 
he  was  utterly  ignorant  of  my  ever  having  offended  this 
Mr.  Beamish,  of  whom  I  recollected  nothing  whatever. 
Yet  when  that  gentleman  waxes  wrothy,  rather  than 
inconvenience  him,  or  perhaps  anxious  to  get  back  to  the 
mess,  he  coolly  says,  "Oh  !  my  friend  shall  meet  you,"  and 
then  his  present  jest,  "find  out  the  cause  of  quarrel  from 
his  executors  "  ! 

"  Truly, "  thought  I,  "  there  is  no  equanimity  like  his  who 
acts  as  your  second  in  a  duel.  The  gentlemanlike  urbanity 
with  which  he  waits  on  the  opposite  friend;  the  conciliat- 
ing tone  with  which  he  proffers  implacable  enmity;  the 
killing  kindness  with  which  he  refuses  all  accommodation ; 
the  Talleyrand  air  of  his  short  notes,  dated  from  the 
Travellers,  or  Brookes,  with  the  words  '  three  o'clock  '  or 
'five  o'clock'  on  the  cover,  — all  indicative  of  the  friendly 
precipitancy  of  the  negotiation.  Then,  when  all  is  settled, 
the  social  style  with  which  he  asks  you  to  take  a  '  cutlet ' 
with  him  at  the  Clarendon,  '  not  to  go  home, '  is  only  to  be 
equalled  by  the  admirable  tact  on  the  ground,  —  the  studi- 
ously elegant  salute  to  the  adverse  party,  half  a  la  Napo- 
leon, and  half  Beau  Brummell;  the  politely  offered 
snuff-box,  the  coquetting  raillery  about  ten  paces  or 
twelve,  are  certainly  the  beau  ideal  of  the  stoicism  which 
preludes  sending  your  friend  out  of  the  world  like  a 
gentleman." 

How  very  often  is  the  face  of  external  nature  at  variance 
with  the  thoughts  and  actions,  "the  sayings  and  doings," 
we  may  be  most  intent  upon  at  the  moment !  How  many  a 
gay  and  brilliant  bridal  party  has  wended  its  way  to  St. 
George's,  Hanover  Square,  amid  a  downpour  of  rain  one 
would  suppose  sufficient  to  quench  the  torch  of  Hymen, 
though  it  burned  as  brightly  as  Captain  Drummond's  oxy- 


54  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

gen  light;  and,  on  the  other  hand,  how  frequently  are  the 
bluest  azure  of  heaven  and  the  most  balmy  airs  shed  upon 
the  heart  bursting  with  affliction  or  the  head  bowed  with 
grief;  and  without  any  desire  to  impugn,  as  a  much  higher 
authority  has  done,  the  moral  character  of  the  moon,  how 
many  a  scene  of  blood  and  rapine  has  its  mild  radiance 
illumined!  Such  reflections  as  these  came  thronging  to  my 
mind  as  on  the  afternoon  of  Tuesday  I  neared  the  little 
village  of  our  rendezvous.  The  scene,  which  in  all  its  peace- 
ful beauty  lay  before  me,  was  truly  a  strong  contrast  to  the 
occasion  that  led  me  thither.  I  stood  upon  a  little  penin- 
sula which  separates  the  Shannon  from  the  wide  Atlantic. 
On  one  side  the  placid  river  flowed  on  its  course  between 
fields  of  waving  corn  or  rich  pasturage,  —  the  beautiful 
island  of  Scattery,  with  its  picturesque  ruins  reflected  in 
the  unrippled  tide ;  the  cheerful  voices  of  the  reapers  and 
the  merry  laugh  of  the  children  were  mingled  with  the 
seaman's  cry  of  the  sailors,  who  were  "heaving  short"  on 
their  anchor,  to  take  the  evening  tide.  The  village,  which 
consisted  merely  of  a  few  small  cabins,  was  still,  from  its 
situation,  a  pleasing  object  in  the  picture,  and  the  blue 
smoke  that  rose  in  slender  columns  from  the  humble  dwell- 
ings took  from  the  scene  its  character  of  loneliness,  and 
suggested  feelings  of  home  and  homely  enjoyments,  which 
human  habitations,  however  lowly,  never  fail  to  do. 

"At  any  other  time,"  thought  I,  "how  I  could  have 
enjoyed  all  this;  but  now —  And,  ha!  I  find  it  is  already 
past  five  o'clock,  and  if  I  am  rightly  informed  I  am 
still  above  a  mile  from  '  Carrigaholt, '  where  we  were  to 
meet." 

I  had  dismissed  my  conveyance  when  nearing  the  village, 
to  avoid  observation,  and  now  took  a  footpath  over  the 
hills.  Before  I  had  proceeded  half  a  mile  the  scene 
changed  completely.  I  found  myself  traversing  a  small 
glen,  grown  over  with  a  low  oak  shrub,  and  not  presenting 
on  any  side  the  slightest  trace  of  habitation.  I  saw  that 
the  ground  had  been  selected  by  an  adept.  The  glen,  which 
grew  narrow  as  I  advanced,  suddenly  disclosed  to  my  view 


PUZZLED.  55 

a  glimpse  of  the  Atlantic,  upon  which  the  declining  sun  was 
pouring  a  flood  of  purple  glory.  I  had  scarcely  turned 
from  the  contemplation  of  this  beautiful  object  when  a  long 
low  whistle  attracted  my  attention.  I  looked  in  the  direc- 
tion from  whence  it  proceeded,  and  discovered  at  some  dis- 
tance from  me  three  figures  standing  beside  the  ruin  of  an 
old  abbey,  which  I  now  for  the  first  time  perceived. 

If  I  had  entertained  any  doubt  as  to  who  they  were,  it 
had  been  speedily  resolved,  for  I  now  saw  one  of  the  party 
waving  his  hat  to  me,  whom  I  soon  recognized  to  be  Curzon. 
He  came  forward  to  meet  me;  and  in  the  few  hundred  yards 
that  intervened  before  our  reaching  the  others,  told  me  as 
much  as  he  knew  of  the  opposite  party,  which,  after  all,  was 
but  little.  Mr.  Beamish,  my  adversary,  he  described  as  a 
morose,  fire-eating  Southern,  that  evidently  longed  for  an 
"  affair  "  with  a  military  man,  —  then  considered  a  circum- 
stance of  some  eclat  in  the  South;  his  second,  the  doctor, 
©n  the  contrary,  was  by  far  "  the  best  of  the  cut-throats, "  a 
most  amusing  little  personage,  full  of  his  own  importance, 
and  profuse  in  his  legends  of  his  own  doings  in  love  and 
war,  and  evidently  disposed  to  take  the  pleasing  side  of 
every  occurrence  in  life.  They  both  agreed  in  but  one 
point,  —  a  firm  and  fixed  resolve  to  give  no  explanation  of 
the  quarrel  with  me.  "So  then,"  said  I,  as  Curzon  hur- 
ried over  the  preceding  account,  "you  absolutely  know 
nothing  whatever  of  the  reason  for  which  I  am  about  to 
give  this  man  a  meeting?" 

"No  more  than  you,"  said  Curzon,  with  imperturbable 
gravity;  "but  one  thing  I  am  certain  of.  Had  I  not  at 
once  promised  him  such,  he  would  have  posted  you  in  Lim- 
erick the  next  morning;  and  as  you  know  our  mess-rule  in 
the  4 — th,  I  thought  it  best  —  " 

"  Oh !  certainly,  quite  right ;  but  now  are  you  quite  cer- 
tain I  am  the  man  who  offended  him?  For  I  solemnly  assure 
you  I  have  not  the  most  remote  recollection  of  having  ever 
heard  of  him." 

"That  point,"  said  Curzon,  "there  can  be  no  doubt  of; 
for  he  not  only  designated  you  as  Mr.  Harry  Lorrequer,  but 


5b*  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

the  gentleman  that  made  all  Cork  laugh  so  heartily  by  his 
representation  of  Othello." 

"Stop!"  said  I;  "not  a  word  more.     I'm  his  man." 

By  this  time  we  had  reached  the  ruins,  and  turning  a 
corner  came  in  full  contact  with  the  enemy.  They  had 
been  resting  themselves  on  a  tombstone,  and  rose  as  we 
approached. 

"Allow  me,"  said  Curzon,  stepping  a  little  in  advance  of 
me,  "allow  me  to  introduce  my  friend  Mr.  Lorrequer,  Dr. 
Finicane:  Dr.  Finicane,  Mr.  Lorrequer." 

"Finwcane,  if  quite  agreeable  to  you, — Finwcane,"  said 
the  little  gentleman,  as  he  lifted  his  hat  straight  off  his 
head,  and  replaced  it  most  accurately,  by  way  of  salute. 
"Mr.  Lorrequer,  it  is  with  sincere  pleasure  I  make  your 
acquaintance."  Here  Mr.  Beamish  bowed  stiffly,  in  return 
to  my  salutation ;  and  at  the  instant  a  kind  of  vague  sensa- 
tion crossed  my  mind  that  those  red  whiskers  and  that  fiery 
face  were  not  seen  for  the  first  time,  —  but  the  thumb- 
screws of  the  Holy  Office  would  have  been  powerless  to 
refresh  my  memory  as  to  when. 

"  Captain, "  said  the  doctor,  "  may  I  request  the  favor  of 
your  company  this  way  one  minute?"  They  both  walked 
aside ;  the  only  words  which  reached  me  as  I  moved  off  to 
permit  their  conference,  being  an  assurance  on  the  part  of 
the  doctor  "that  it  was  a  sweet  spot  he  picked  out,  for, 
by  having  them  placed  north  and  south,  neither  need 
have  a  patch  of  sky  behind  him."  Very  few  minutes 
sufficed  for  preliminaries,  and  they  both  advanced,  smirk- 
ing and  smiling  as  if  they  had  just  arranged  a  new  plan 
for  the  amelioration  of  the  poor  or  the  benefit  of  the  manu- 
facturing classes,  instead  of  making  .preparations  for  send- 
ing a  fellow-creature  out  of  the  world. 

"Then,  if  I  understand  you,  Captain,"  said  the  doctor, 
"you  step  the  distance,  and  I  give  the  word." 

"Exactly,"  said  Curzon. 

After  a  joking  allusion  to  my  friend's  length  of  limb,  at 
which  we  all  laughed  heartily,  we  were  placed,  Curzon  and 
the  doctor  standing  and  breaking  the  line  between  us.    The 


PUZZLED.  57 

pistols  were  then  put  into  our  hands,  the  doctor  saying, 
"Now,  gentlemen,  I  '11  just  retire  six  paces,  and  turn 
round,  which  will  be  quite  time  enough  to  prepare,  and 
at  the  word  'Fire! '  ye  '11  blaze  away;  mind  now."  With  a 
knowing  wink,  the  doctor  delivered  this  direction,  and  im- 
mediately moved  off.  The  word  "Fire!"  followed,  and 
both  pistols  went  off  together.  My  hat  was  struck  near 
the  top,  and  as  the  smoke  cleared  away,  I  perceived  that 
my  ball  had  taken  effect  upon  my  adversary;  he  was 
wounded  a  little  below  the  knee,  and  appeared  to  steady 
himself  with  the  greatest  difficulty.  "  Your  friend  is  hit, " 
said  Curzon  to  the  doctor,  who  now  came  forward  with 
another  pistol.     "Your  friend  is  hit." 

"So  I  perceive,"  said  he,  placing  his  finger  on  the  spot; 
"but  it  is  no  harm  in  life;  so  we  proceed,  if  you  please." 

"You  don't  mean  to  demand  another  shot?  "  said  Curzon. 

"  Faith  do  I, "  said  the  doctor,  coolly. 

"  Then, "  said  Curzon,  "  I  must  tell  you  most  unequivo- 
cally I  refuse,  and  shall  now  withdraw  my  friend ;  and  had 
it  not  been  for  a  regulation  peculiar  to  our  regiment,  but 
never  intended  to  include  cases  of  this  nature,  we  had  not 
been  here  now,  for  up  to  this  hour,  my  principal  and  my- 
self are  in  utter  ignorance  of  any  cause  of  offence  ever 
having  been  offered  by  him  to  Mr.  Beamish." 

"Giles,  do  you  hear  this?"  said  the  doctor. 

But  Giles  did  not  hear  it ;  for  the  rapid  loss  of  blood  from 
his  wound  had  so  weakened  him  that  he  had  fainted,  and 
lay  peaceably  on  the  grass.  Etiquette  was  now  at  an  end, 
and  we  all  ran  forward  to  assist  the  wounded  man.  For 
some  minutes  he  lay  apparently  quite  senseless,  and  when 
he  at  last  rallied  and  looked  wildly  about  him,  it  appeared 
to  be  with  difficulty  that  he  recalled  any  recollection  of  the 
place  and  the  people  around  him.  For  a  few  seconds  he 
fixed  his  eyes  steadily  upon  the  doctor,  and  with  a  lip  pale 
and  bloodless  and  a  voice  quivering  from  weakness,  said: 

"Fin!  didn't  I  tell  ye  that  pistol  always  threw  high? 
Ohi  "  —  and  this  he  said  with  a  sigh  that  nearly  overpow- 
ered him  —  "  oh,  Fin,  if  you  had  only  given  me  the  saw- 


58  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

handled  one,  that  I  am  used  to  —    But  it  is  no  good  talking 


now." 


In  my  inmost  heart  I  was  grateful  to  the  little  doctor  for 
his  mistake;  for  I  plainly  perceived  what  "the  saw-handled 
one  he  was  used  to  "  might  have  done  for  me,  and  could  not 
help  muttering  to  myself  with  good  Sir  Andrew, — "If  I 
had  known  he  was  so  cunning  of  fence,  I  'd  have  seen  him 
damned  before  that  I  fought  with  him." 

Oar  first  duty  was  now  to  remove  the  wounded  man  to 
the  high  road,  about  which  both  he  himself  and  his  second 
seemed  disposed  to  make  some  difficulty.  They  spoke  to- 
gether for  a  few  moments  in  a  low  tone  of  voice,  and  then 
the  doctor  addressed  us :  "  We  feel,  gentlemen,  this  is  not 
a  time  for  any  concealment;  but  the  truth  is,  we  have  need 
of  great  circumspection  here,  for  I  must  inform  you  we  are 
both  of  us  bound  over  in  heavy  recognizances  to  keep  the 
peace." 

"  Bound  over  to  keep  the  peace !  "  said  Curzon  and  my- 
self together. 

"  Nothing  less ;  and  although  there  is  nobody  hereabout 
would  tell,  yet  if  the  affair  got  into  the  papers  by  any 
means,  why  there  are  some  people  in  Cork  would  like  to 
press  my  friend  there,  for  he  is  a  very  neat  shot  when  he 
has  the  saw-handle."     And  here  the  doctor  winked. 

We  had  little  time  permitted  us  to  think  upon  the  oddity 
of  meeting  a  man  in  such  circumstances,  for  we  were  now 
obliged  to  contribute  our  aid  in  conveying  him  to  the  road, 
where  some  means  might  be  procured  for  his  transfer  to 
Kilrush  or  some  other  town  in  the  neighborhood,  for  he 
was  by  this  time  totally  unable  to  walk. 

After  half  an  hour's  toiling  we  at  last  did  reach  the 
highway,  by  which  time  I  had  ample  opportunity,  short  as 
the  space  was,  to  see  something  of  the  character  of  our  two 
opponents.  It  appeared  that  the  doctor  exercised  the  most 
absolute  control  over  his  large  friend,  dictating  and  com- 
manding in  a  tone  which  the  other  never  ventured  to  resist. 
For  a  moment  or  two  Mr.  Beamish  expressed  a  great  desire 
to  be  conveyed  by  night  to  Kilrush,  where  he  might  find 


PUZZLED.  59 

means  to  cross  the  Shannon  into  Kerry.  This,  however, 
the  doctor  opposed  strenuously,  from  the  risk  of  publicity, 
and  finally  settled  that  we  should  all  go  in  a  body  to  his 
friend  Father  Malachi  Brennan's  house,  only  two  miles  off, 
where  the  sick  man  would  have  the  most  tender  care,  and, 
what  the  doctor  considered  equally  indispensable,  we  our- 
selves a  most  excellent  supper  and  a  hearty  welcome. 

"You  know  Father  Malachi,  of  course,  Mr.  Lorrequer?" 

"  I  am  ashamed  to  say  I  do  not. " 

"  Not  know  Malachi  Brennan,  and  live  in  Clare !  Well, 
well,  that  is  strange !  Sure  he  is  the  priest  of  this  country 
for  twelve  miles  in  every  direction  of  you,  and  a  better  man 
and  a  pleasanter  there  does  not  live  in  the  diocese,  though 
I  'm  his  cousin  that  says  it. " 

After  professing  all  the  possible  pleasure  it  would  afford 
my  friend  and  myself  to  make  the  acquaintance  of  Father 
Malachi,  we  proceeded  to  place  Mr.  Beamish  in  a  car  that 
was  passing  at  the  time,  and  started  for  the  residence  of 
the  good  priest.  The  whole  of  the  way  thither  I  was  occu- 
pied but  by  one  thought,  —  a  burning  anxiety  to  know  the 
cause  of  our  quarrel ;  and  I  longed  for  the  moment  when  I 
might  get  the  doctor  apart  from  his  friend  to  make  the 
inquiry. 

"  There !  look  down  to  your  left,  where  you  see  the  lights 
shining  so  brightly,  — that  is  Father  Malachi's  house;  as 
sure  as  my  name  is  De  Courcy  Finucane,  there  's  fun  going 
on  there  this  night. " 

"  Why,  there  certainly  does  seem  a  great  illumination  in 
the  valley  there,"  said  I. 

"May  I  never,"  said  the  doctor,  "  if  it  is  n't  a  station  —  " 

"  A  station !  —  pray  may  I  ask  —  " 

"You  need  not  ask  a  word  on  the  subject;  for  if  I  am  a 
true  prophet,  you'll  know  what  it  means  before  morning." 

A  little  more  chatting  together  brought  us  to  a  narrow 
road,  flanked  on  either  side  by  high  hedges  of  hawthorn, 
and  in  a  few  minutes  more  we  stood  before  the  priest's 
residence,  —  a  long,  whitewashed,  thatched  house,  having 
great   appearance   of   comfort   and   convenience.     Arrived 


60  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

here,  the  doctor  seemed  at  once  to  take  on  him  the  arrange- 
ment of  the  whole  party;  for  after  raising  the  latch  and 
entering  the  house,  he  returned  to  us  in  a  few  minutes,  and 

said,  — 

"Wait  a  while,  now;  we'll  not  go  in  to  Father  Malachi 
till  we  've  put  Giles  to  bed." 

We  accordingly  lifted  him  from  the  car  and  assisted  him 
into  the  house;  and  following  Finucane  down  a  narrow  pas- 
sage, at  last  reached  a  most  comfortable  little  chamber,  with 
a  neat  bed.  Here  we  placed  him,  while  the  doctor  gave 
some  directions  to  a  bare-headed,  red-legged  hussy,  without 
shoes  or  stockings,  and  himself  proceeded  to  examine  the 
wound,  which  was  a  more  serious  one  than  it  at  first 
appeared. 

After  half  an  hour  thus  occupied,  during  which  time 
roars  of  merriment  and  hearty  peals  of  laughter  burst  upon 
us  every  time  the  door  opened,  from  a  distant  part  of  the 
house,  where  his  Reverence  was  entertaining  his  friends, 
and  which,  as  often  as  they  were  heard  by  the  doctor, 
seemed  to  produce  in  him  sensations  not  unlike  those  that 
afflicted  the  "wedding  guest"  in  the  "Ancient  Mariner" 
when  he  heard  the  "loud  bassoon,"  and  as  certainly  im- 
parted an  equally  longing  desire  to  be  a  partaker  in  the 
mirth,  we  arranged  everything  satisfactorily  for  Mr.  Beam- 
ish's  comfort,  and  with  a  large  basin  of  vinegar  and  water 
to  keep  his  knee  cool,  and  a  strong  tumbler  of  hot  punch 
to  keep  his  heart  warm, — homoeopathic  medicine  is  not 
half  so  new  as  Dr.  Hahnemann  would  make  us  believe,  — 
we  left  Mr.  Beamish  to  his  own  meditations  and  doubtless 
regrets  that  he  did  not  get  the  "  saw-handled  one  he  was 
used  to, "  while  we  proceeded  to  make  our  bows  to  Father 
Malachi  Brennan. 

But  as  I  have  no  intention  to  treat  the  good  priest  with 
ingratitude,  I  shall  not  present  him  to  my  readers  at  the 
tail  of  a  chapter. 


CHAPTER  VI. 

THE    PRIEST'S    SUPPER.  FATHER    MALACHI    AND    THE 

COADJUTOR. MAJOR   JONES    AND    THE   ABBE. 

At  the  conclusion  of  our  last  chapter  we  left  our  quon- 
dam antagonist,  Mr.  Beamish,  stretched  at  full  length  upon 
a  bed  practising  homoeopathy,  by  administering  hot  punch 
to  his  fever,  while  we  followed  our  chaperon,  Dr.  Finucane, 
into  the  presence  of  the  Reverend  Father  Brennan. 

The  company  into  which  we  now,  without  any  ceremony 
on  our  parts,  introduced  ourselves  consisted  of  from  five 
and  twenty  to  thirty  persons,  seated  around  a  large  oak 
table  plentifully  provided  with  materials  for  drinking,  and 
cups,  goblets,  and  glasses  of  every  shape  and  form.  The 
moment  we  entered,  the  doctor  stepped  forward,  and  touch- 
ing Father  Malachi  on  the  shoulder,  —  for  so  I  rightly 
guessed  him  to  be,  —  presented  himself  to  his  relative,  by 
whom  he  was  welcomed  with  every  demonstration  of  joy. 
While  their  recognitions  were  exchanged,  and  while  the 
doctor  explained  the  reasons  of  our  visit,  I  was  enabled, 
undisturbed  and  unnoticed,  to  take  a  brief  survey  of  the 
party. 

Father  Malachi  Brennan,  P.  P.  of  Carrigaholt,  was  what 
I  had  often  pictured  to  myself  as  the  beau  ideal  of  his  caste. 
His  figure  was  short,  fleshy,  and  enormously  muscular,  and 
displayed  proportions  which  wanted  but  height  to  consti- 
tute a  perfect  Hercules;  his  legs,  so  thick  in  the  calf,  so 
taper  in  the  ankle,  looked  like  nothing  I  know,  except, 
perhaps,  the  metal  balustrades  of  Carlisle  Bridge ;  his  face 
was  large  and  rosy,  and  the  general  expression  a  mixture 
of  unbounded  good-humor  and  inexhaustible  drollery,  to 
which  the  restless  activity  of  his  black  and  arched  eye- 


62  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

brows  greatly  contributed ;  and  his  month,  were  it  not  for  a 
character  of  sensuality  and  voluptuousness  about  the  nether 
lip,  had  been  actually  handsome;  his  head  was  bald,  except 
a  narrow  circle  close  above  the  ears,  which  was  marked  by  a 
ring  of  curly  dark  hair, — sadly  insufficient,  however,  to 
conceal  a  development  behind  that,  if  there  be  truth  in 
phrenology,  boded  but  little  happiness  to  the  disciples  of 
Miss  Martineau. 

Add  to  these  external  signs  a  voice  rich,  fluent,  and  racy, 
with  the  mellow  "  doric  "  of  his  country,  and  you  have  some 
faint  resemblance  of  one  "every  inch  a  priest."  The  very 
antipodes  to  the  bonhomie,  of  this  figure  confronted  him  as 
croupier  at  the  foot  of  the  table.  This,  as  I  afterwards 
learned,  was  no  less  a  person  than  Mister  Donovan,  the 
coadjutor,  or  "curate."  He  was  a  tall,  spare,  ungainly 
looking  man  of  about  five  and  thirty,  with  a  pale,  ascetic 
countenance,  the  only  readable  expression  of  which  vibrated 
between  low  suspicion  and  intense  vulgarity;  over  his  low, 
projecting  forehead  hung  down  a  mass  of  straight  red  hair, 
—  indeed  (for  Nature  is  not  a  politician),  it  almost  ap- 
proached an  orange  hue.  This  was  cut  close  to  the  head 
all  round,  and  displayed  in  their  full  proportions  a  pair  of 
enormous  ears,  which  stood  out  in  "  relief "  like  turrets 
from  a  watch-tower,  and  with  pretty  much  the  same  object; 
his  skin  was  of  that  peculiar  color  and  texture  to  which  not 
all  "the  water  in  great  Neptune's  ocean"  could  impart  a 
look  of  cleanliness,  while  his  very  voice,  hard,  harsh,  and 
inflexible,  was  unprepossessing  and  unpleasant.  And  yet, 
strange  as  it  may  seem,  he,  too,  was  a  correct  type  of  his 
order;  the  only  difference  being  that  Father  Malachi  was 
an  older  coinage,  with  the  impress  of  Douai  or  St.  Omer, 
whereas  Mister  Donovan  was  the  shining  metal,  fresh 
stamped  from  the  mint  of  Maynooth. 

While  thus  occupied  in  my  surveillance  of  the  scene 
before  me,  I  was  roused  by  the  priest  saying,  — 

"Ah,  Fin,  my  darling,  you  needn't  deny  it,  you're  at 
the  old  game  as  sure  as  my  name  is  Malachi,  and  ye  '11 
never  be  easy  nor  quiet  till  ye  're  sent  beyond  the  sea,  or 


THE  PRIEST'S  SUPPER.  63 

maybe  have  a  record  of  your  virtues  on  half  a  ton  of  marble 
in  the  churchyard  yonder. " 

"Upon  my  honor,  upon  the  sacred  honor  of  a  De 
Courcy  —  " 

"Well,  well,  never  mind  it  now;  ye  see  ye  're  just  keep- 
ing your  friends  cooling  themselves  there  in  the  corner. 
Introduce  me  at  once." 

"Mr.  Lorrequer,  1  'm  sure  —  " 

"My  name  is  Curzon,"  said  the  Adjutant,  bowing. 

"A  mighty  pretty  name,  though  a  little  profane.  Well, 
Mr.  Curseon,"  for  so  he  pronounced  it,  "ye  're  as  welcome 
as  the  flowers  in  May;  and  it's  mighty  proud  I  am  to  see 
ye  here." 

"Mr.  Lorrequer,  allow  me  to  shake  your  hand;  I've 
heard  of  ye  before." 

There  seemed  nothing  very  strange  in  that ;  for  go  where 
I  would  through  this  county,  I  seemed  as  generally  known 
as  ever  was  Brummell  in  Bond  Street. 

"Fin  tells  me,"  continued  Father  Malachi,  "that  ye 'd 
rather  not  be  known  down  here,  in  regard  of  a  reason ;  "  and 
here  he  winked.  "Make  yourselves  quite  easy;  the  king's 
writ  was  never  but  once  in  these  parts,  and  the  '  original 
and  true  copy '  went  back  to  Limerick  in  the  stomach  of 
the  server.  They  made  him  eat  it,  Mr.  Lorrequer!  But 
it's  as  well  to  be  cautious,  for  there  are  a  good  number 
here.  A  little  dinner,  a  little  quarterly  dinner  we  have 
among  us,  Mr.  Curseon,  to  be  social  together,  and  raise  a 
'  thrifle '  for  the  Irish  college  at  Rome,  where  we  have  a 
probationer  or  two  ourselves." 

"As  good  as  a  station,  and  more  drink,"  whispered  Fin 
into  my  ear. 

"And  now,"  continued  the  priest,  "ye  must  just  permit 
me  to  re-christen  ye  both,  and  the  contribution  will  not  be 
the  less  for  what  I  'm  going  to  do;  and  I  'm  certain  you  '11 
not  be  the  worse  for  the  change,  Mr.  Curseon,  —  though 
't  is  only  for  a  few  hours  ye  '11  have  a  dacent  name." 

As  I  could  see  no  possible  objection  to  this  proposal,  nor 
did  Curzon  either,  our  only  desire  being  to  maintain  the 


64  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

secrecy  necessary  for  our  antagonist's  safety,  we  at  once 
assented;  when  Father  Malachi  took  me  by  the  hand,  but 
with  such  a  total  change  in  his  whole  air  and  deportment 
that  I  was  completely  puzzled  by  it.  He  led  me  forward 
to  the  company  with  a  good  deal  of  that  ceremonious 
reverence  I  have  often  admired  in  Sir  Charles  Vernon 
when  conducting  some  full-blown  dowager  through  the 
mazes  of  a  Castle  minuet.  The  desire  to  laugh  outright 
was  almost  irresistible  as  the  Rev.  Father  stood  at  arm's 
length  from  me,  still  holding  my  hand,  and  bowing  to  the 
company  pretty  much  in  the  style  of  a  manager  introducing 
a  blushing  debtitante  to  an  audience.  A  moment  more,  and 
I  must  have  inevitably  given  way  to  a  burst  of  laughter, 
when  what  was  my  horror  to  hear  the  priest  present  me  to 
the  company  as  their  "excellent,  worthy,  generous,  and 
patriotic  young  landlord,  Lord  Kilkee.  Cheer,  every 
mother's  son  of  ye;  cheer,  I  say!"  and  certainly  precept 
was  never  more  strenuously  backed  by  example,  for  he 
huzzaed  till  I  thought  he  would  burst  a  blood-vessel.  May 
I  add,  I  almost  wished  it,  such  was  the  insufferable  annoy- 
ance, the  chagrin,  this  announcement  gave  me;  and  I 
waited  with  eager  impatience  for  the  din  and  clamor  to 
subside,  to  disclaim  every  syllable  of  the  priest's  announce- 
ment, and  take  the  consequences  of  my  baptismal  epithet, 
cost  what  it  might.  To  this  I  was  impelled  by  many  and 
important  reasons.  Situated  as  I  was  with  respect  to  the 
Callonby  family,  my  assumption  of  their  name  at  such  a 
moment  might  get  abroad,  and  the  consequences  to  me  be 
inevitable  ruin;  and  independent  of  my  natural  repugnance 
to  such  sailing  under  false  colors,  I  saAV  Curzon  laughing 
iilinost  to  suffocation  at  my  wretched  predicament,  and  (so 
strong  within  me  was  the  dread  of  ridicule)  I  thought, 
"  What  a  pretty  narrative  he  is  concocting  for  the  mess 
this  minute!  "  I  rose  to  reply;  and  whether  Father  Mala- 
chi, with  his  intuitive  quickness,  guessed  my  purpose  or 
not,  I  cannot  say,  but  he  certainly  resolved  to  out-manoeuvre 
me,  and  he  succeeded.  While  with  one  hand  he  motioned 
to  the  party  to  keep  silence,  with  the  other  he  took  hold  of 


THE  PRIEST'S  SUPPER.  65 

Curzon,  but  with  no  peculiar  or  very  measured  respect,  and 
introduced  him  as  Mr.  M'lSTeesh,  the  new  Scotch  steward 
and  improver,  —  a  character  at  that  time  whose  popularity 
might  compete  with  a  tithe  proctor  or  an  exciseman.  So 
completely  did  this  tactic  turn  the  tables  upon  the  poor 
Adjutant,  who  the  moment  before  was  exulting  over  me, 
that  I  utterly  forgot  my  own  woes,  and  sat  down  convulsed 
with  mirth  at  his  situation,  — an  emotion  certainly  not  les- 
sened as  I  saw  Curzon  passed  from  one  to  the  other  at  table 
"  like  a  pauper  to  his  parish, "  till  he  found  an  asylum  at 
the  very  foot,  in  juxta  with  the  engaging  Mr.  Donovan,  — 
a  propinquity,  if  I  might  judge  from  their  countenances, 
uncoveted  by  either  party. 

While  this  was  performing,  Dr.  Finucane  was  making 
his  recognitions  with  several  of  the  company,  to  whom  he 
had  been  long  known  during  his  visits  to  the  neighborhood. 
I  now  resumed  my  place  on  the  right  of  "  the  father, "  aban- 
doning for  the  present  all  intention  of  disclaiming  my  rank, 
and  the  campaign  was  opened.  The  priest  now  exerted 
himself  to  the  utmost  to  recall  conversation  into  the  origi- 
nal channels,  and  if  possible  to  draw  off  attention  from  me, 
which  he  still  feared  might  perhaps  elicit  some  unlucky 
announcement  on  my  part.  Failing  in  his  endeavors  to 
bring  matters  to  their  former  footing,  he  turned  the  whole 
brunt  of  his  attentions  to  the  worthy  doctor,  who  sat  on  his 
left. 

"How  goes  on  the  law,"  said  he,  "Fin?  Any  new 
proofs,  as  they  call  them,  forthcoming?" 

What  Fin  replied  I  could  not  hear;  but  the  allusion  to 
the  "  suit "  was  explained  by  Father  Malachi  informing  us 
that  the  only  impediment  between  his  cousin  and  the 
title  of  Kinsale  lay  in  the  unfortunate  fact  that  his  grand- 
mother, "  rest  her  sowl, "  was  not  a  man. 

Dr.  Finucane  winced  a  little  under  the  manner  in  which 
this  was  spoken,  but  returned  the  fire  by  asking  if  the 
bishop  was  down  lately  in  that  quarter?  The  evasive  way 
in  which  "  the  father  "  replied  having  stimulated  my  curi- 
osity as  to  the  reason,  little  entreaty  was  necessary  to  per- 
TOL.  i.  — 6 


66  HARRY  LOKREQUER. 

suade  the  doctor  to  relate  the  following  anecdote,  which 
was  not  relished  the  less  by  his  superior  that  it  told  some- 
what heavily  on  Mr.  Donovan. 

"It  is  about  four  years  ago,"  said  the  doctor,  "since  the 
bishop,  Dr.  Plunkett,  took  it  into  his  head  that  he  M  make 
a  general  inspection,  '  a  reconnoissance, '  as  we  'd  call  it,  Mr. 
Lor  —  that  is,  my  lord !  —  through  the  whole  diocese,  and 
leave  no  part,  far  or  near,  without  poking  his  nose  in  it  and 
seeing  how  matters  were  doing.  He  heard  very  queer 
stories  about  his  reverence  here,  and  so  down  he  came  one 
morning  in  the  month  of  July,  riding  upon  an  old  gray 
hack,  looking  just  for  all  the  world  like  any  other  elderly 
gentleman  in  very  rusty  black.  When  he  got  near  the  vil- 
lage he  picked  up  a  little  boy  to  show  him  the  short  cut 
across  the  fields  to  the  house  here;  and  as  his  lordship  was 
a  '  sharp  man  and  a  shrewd, '  he  kept  his  eye  on  everything 
as  he  went  along,  remarking  this,  and  noting  down  that. 

" '  Are  ye  regular  in  your  duties,  my  son? '  said  he  to  the 
child. 

" '  I  never  miss  a  Sunday, '  said  the  gossoon ;  '  for  it 's 
always  walking  his  reverence's  horse  I  am  the  whole  time 
av  prayers.' 

"His  lordship  said  no  more  for  a  little  while,  wrhen  he 
muttered  between  his  teeth,  'Ah!  it's  just  slander;  nothing 
but  slander  and  lying  tongues.'  This  soliloquy  was  caused 
by  his  remarking  that  on  every  gate  he  passed,  or  from 
every  cabin,  two  or  three  urchins  would  come  out  half 
naked,  but  all  with  the  finest  heads  of  red  hair  he  ever  saw 
in  his  life. 

'"  How  is  it,  my  son,'  said  he  at  length,  '  they  tell  very 
strange  stories  about  Father  Malachi,  and  I  see  so  many  of 
these  children  with  red  hair,  eh?  Now,  Father  Malachi 's 
a  dark  man.' 

" '  True  for  ye, '  said  the  boy,  '  true  for  ye,  Father  Mala- 
chi 's  dark;  but  the  coadjutor, — the  coadjutor's  as  red  as  a 
fox."' 

When  the  laugh  this  story  caused  had  a  little  subsided, 
Father  Malachi  called  out,  "Mickey  Oulahan!  Mickey,  I 


THE  PEIEST'S  SUPPER.  67 

say,  hand  his  lordship  over  '  the  groceries, ' "  —  thus  he 
designated  a  square  decanter  containing  about  two  quarts 
of  whiskey  and  a  bowl  heaped  high  with  sugar.  "A  dacent 
boy  is  Mickey,  my  lord,  and  I  'm  happy  to  be  the  means  of 
making  him  known  to  you. "  I  bowed  with  condescension, 
while  Mr.  Oulahan's  eyes  sparkled  like  diamonds  at  the 
recognition. 

"  He  has  only  two  years  of  the  lease  to  run,  and  a  '  long 
charge  '  "  (anglice,  a  large  family),  continued  the  priest. 

"I  '11  not  forget  him,  you  may  depend  upon  it,"  said  I. 

"  Do  you  hear  that?  "  said  Father  Malachi,  casting  a  glance 
of  triumph  round  the  table,  while  a  general  buzz  of  com- 
mendation on  priest  and  patron  went  round,  with  many 
such  phrases  as  "Ock,  thin,"  "it 's  his  riv'rance  can  do  it," 
"na  bocklish,"  "and  why  not,"  etc.  As  for  me,  I  have 
already  "confessed"  to  my  crying  sin,  — a  fatal,  irresisti- 
ble inclination  to  follow  the  humor  of  the  moment  wherever 
it  led  me ;  and  now  I  found  myself  as  active  a  partisan  in 
quizzing  Mickey  Oulahan  as  though  I  was  not  myself  a 
party  included  in  the  jest.  I  was  thus  fairly  launched  into 
my  inveterate  habit,  and  nothing  could  arrest  my  progress. 

One  by  one  the  different  individuals  round  the  table 
were  presented  to  me  and  made  known  their  various  wants, 
with  an  implicit  confidence  in  my  power  of  relieving  them 
which  I  with  equal  readiness  ministered  to.  I  lowered  the 
rent  of  every  man  at  table.  I  made  a  general  jail-deliv- 
ery, —  an  act  of  grace,  I  blush  to  say,  which  seemed  to  be 
peculiarly  interesting  to  the  present  company.  I  abolished 
all  arrears,  made  a  new  line  of  road  through  an  impassable 
bog  and  over  an  inaccessible  mountain,  and  conducted  water 
to  a  mill  which  (I  learned  in  the  morning)  was  always 
worked  by  wind.  The  decanter  had  scarcely  completed  its 
third  circuit  of  the  board  when  I  bid  fair  to  be  the  most 
popular  specimen  of  the  peerage  that  ever  visited  the  "  Far 
West."  In  the  midst  of  my  career  of  universal  benevo- 
lence, I  was  interrupted  by  Father  Malachi,  whom  I  found 
on  his  legs  pronouncing  a  glowing  eulogium  on  his  cousin's 
late  regiment,  the  famous  North  Cork, 


68  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

"That  was  the  corps!"  said  he.  "Bid  them  do  a  thing, 
and  they  'd  never  leave  off;  and  so,  when  they  got  orders 
to  retire  from  Wexford,  it 's  little  they  cared  for  the  com- 
forts of  baggage,  like  many  another  regiment,  for  they 
threw  away  everything  but  their  canteens,  and  never 
stopped  till  they  ran  to  Ross,  fifteen  miles  farther  than 
the  enemy  followed  them.  And  when  they  were  all  in  bed 
the  same  night,  fatigued  and  tired  with  their  exertions,  as 
ye  may  suppose,  a  drummer-boy  called  out  in  his  sleep, 
'  Here  they  are  —  they  're  coming! '  they  all  jumped  up  and 
set  off  in  their  shirts,  and  got  two  miles  out  of  town  before 
they  discovered  it  was  a  false  alarm." 

Peal  after  peal  of  laughter  followed  the  priest's  enco- 
mium on  the  doctor's  regiment;  and,  indeed,  he  himself 
joined  most  heartily  in  the  mirth,  as  he  might  well  afford 
to  do,  seeing  that  a  braver  or  better  corps  than  the  North 
Cork,  Ireland  did  not  possess. 

"Well,"  said  Fin,  "it's  easy  to  see  ye  never  can  forget 
what  they  did  at  Maynooth." 

Father  Malachi  disclaimed  all  personal  feeling  on  the 
subject,  and  I  was  at  last  gratified  by  the  following  narra- 
tive, which  I  regret  deeply  I  am  not  enabled  to  give  in  the 
doctor's  own  words;  but  writing  as  I  do  from  memory,  in 
most  instances,  I  can  only  convey  the  substance. 

It  was  towards  the  latter  end  of  the  year  '98  —  the  year 
of  the  troubles  —  that  the  North  Cork  was  ordered,  "for 
their  sins,"  I  believe,  to  march  from  their  snug  quarters  in 
Fermoy  and  take  up  a  position  in  the  town  of  Maynooth,  — 
a  very  considerable  reverse  of  fortune  to  a  set  of  gentlemen 
extremely  addicted  to  dining  out  and  living  at  large  upon 
a  very  pleasant  neighborhood.  Fermoy  abounded  in  gen- 
try; Maynooth,  at  that  time,  had  few,  if  any,  excepting 
his  Grace  of  Leinster,  and  he  lived  very  privately  and  saw 
no  company.  Maynooth  was  stupid  and  dull,  — there  were 
neither  belles  nor  balls;  Fermoy  (to  use  the  doctor's  well- 
remembered  words)  had  " great  feeding  "  and  "  very  genteel 
young  ladies,  that  carried  their  handkerchiefs  in  bags,  and 
danced  with  the  officers." 


THE   PRIEST'S   SUPPER.  09 

They  had  not  been  many  weeks  in  their  new  quarters 
when  they  began  to  pine  over  their  altered  fortunes,  and  it 
was  with  a  sense  of  delight,  which  a  few  months  before 
would  have  been  incomprehensible  to  them,  they  discov- 
ered that  one  of  their  officers  had  a  brother,  a  young  priest 
in  the  college;  he  introduced  him  to  some  of  his  confreres, 
and  the  natural  result  followed.  A  visiting  acquaintance 
began  between  the  regiment  and  such  of  the  members  of  the 
college  as  had  liberty  to  leave  the  precincts,  who,  as  time 
ripened  the  acquaintance  into  intimacy,  very  naturally  pre- 
ferred the  mess  of  the  North  Cork  to  the  meagre  fare  of 
"the  refectory."  At  last,  seldom  a  day  went  by  without 
one  or  two  of  their  reverences  finding  themselves  guests  at 
the  mess.  The  North  Corkians  were  of  a  most  hospitable 
turn,  and  the  fathers  were  determined  the  virtue  should  not 
rust  for  want  of  being  exercised;  they  wouid  just  drop  in 
to  say  a  word  to  "Captain  O'Flaherty  about  leave  to  shoot 
in  the  demesne,"  as  Carton  was  styled;  or  they  had  a  "  frank 
from  the  Duke  for  the  Colonel,"  or  some  other  equally 
pressing  reason;  and  they  would  contrive  to  be  caught  in 
the  middle  of  a  very  droll  story  just  as  the  "  roast  beef " 
was  playing.  Very  little  entreaty  then  sufficed,  —  a  short 
apology  for  the  "  derangements  "  of  dress,  and  a  few  min- 
utes more  found  them  seated  at  table  without  further  cere- 
mony on  either  side. 

Among  the  favorite  guests  from  the  college,  two  were 
peculiarly  in  estimation,  — "the  Professor  of  the  Human- 
ities," Father  Luke  Mooney,  and  the  Abbe  d' Array,  "the 
Lecturer  on  Moral  Philosoplry  and  Belles-Lettres;  "  and 
certain  it  is,  pleasanter  fellows,  or  more  gifted  with  the 
"convivial  bump,"  there  never  existed.  He  of  the  Human- 
ities was  a  droll  dog,  —  a  member  of  the  Curran  Club,  the 
"monks  of  the  screw,"  —  told  an  excellent  story,  and  sang 
the  "  Cruiskeen  Lawn  "  better  than  did  any  before  or  since 
him;  the  moral  philosopher,  though  of  a  different  genre, 
was  also  a  most  agreeable  companion,  —  an  Irishman  trans- 
planted in  his  youth  to  St.  Omer,  and  who  had  grafted 
upon  his    native  humor  a   considerable  share  of  French, 


70  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

smartness  and  repartee.  Such  were  the  two  who  ruled 
supreme  in  all  the  festive  arrangements  of  this  jovial  re  l- 
ment,  and  were  at  last  as  regular  at  table  as  the  adjutant 
and  the  paymaster,  and  so  might  they  have  continued,  had 
not  prosperity,  that  in  its  blighting  influence  upon  the 
heart  spares  neither  priests  nor  laymen,  and  is  equally 
severe  upon  mice  (see  JSsop's  fable)  and  moral  philoso- 
phers, actually  deprived  them,  for  the  '''nonce,"  of  reason, 
and  tempted  them  to  their  ruin.  You  naturally  ask,  what 
did  they  do?  Did  they  venture  upon  allusions  to  the 
retreat  upon  Eoss?  Nothing  of  the  kind.  Did  they,  in 
that  vanity  which  wine  inspires,  refer  by  word,  act,  or 
inuendo,  to  the  well-known  order  of  their  colonel  \vl 
reviewing  his  regiment  in  "the  Phoenix,"  to  "advance  two 
steps  backwards,  and  dress  by  the  gutter"?  Far  be  it 
from  them, — though  indeed  either  of  these  had  been 
esteemed  light  in  the  balance  with  their  real  crime. 
"Then  what  was  their  failing?  Come,  tell  it,  and  burn 
ye!"  They  actually  —  I  dread  to  say  it  —  quizzed  the 
Major  coram  the  whole  mess!  Now,  Major  John  Jones 
had  only  lately  exchanged  into  the  North  Cork  from  the 
"Darry  Eagement,"  as  he  called  it.  He  was  a  red-hot 
Orangeman,  a  deputy-grand  something,  and  vice-chairman 
of  the  "  'Prentice  Boys  "  besides.  He  broke  his  leg  when 
a  schoolboy  by  a  fall  incurred  in  tying  an  orange  handker- 
chief around  King  William's  august  neck  in  College  Green 
on  one  12th  of  July,  and  three  several  times  had  closed  the 
gates  of  Derry  with  his  own  loyal  hands  on  the  famed  anni- 
versary, —  in  a  word,  he  was  one  that,  if  his  Church  had 
enjoined  penance  as  an  expiation  for  sin,  would  have 
looked  upon  a  trip  to  Jerusalem  on  his  bare  knees  as  a 
very  light  punishment  for  the  crime  on  his  conscience  that 
he  sat  at  table  with  two  buck  priests  from  Maynooth,  and 
carved  for  them,  like  the  rest  of  the  company ! 

Poor  Major  Jones,  however,  had  no  such  solace,  and  the 
cankerworm  ate  daily  deeper  and  deeper  into  his  pining 
heart.  During  the  three  or  four  weeks  of  their  intimacy 
with  his  regiment,  his  martyrdom  was  awful.     His  figure 


THE   PRIEST'S   SUPPER.  71 

wasted,  and  his  color  became  a  deeper  tinge  of  orange,  and 
all  around  averred  that  there  would  soon  be  a  "move  up" 
in  the  corps,  for  the  Major  had  evidently  "  got  his  notice  to 
quit"  this  world  and  its  pomps  and  vanities.  He  felt 
"that  he  was  dying,"  to  use  Haynes  Bayley's  beautiful 
and  apposite  words,  and  meditated  an  exchange ;  but  that, 
from  circumstances,  was  out  of  the  question.  At  last,  sub- 
dued by  grief,  and  probably  his  spirit  having  chafed  itself 
smooth  by  such  constant  attrition,  he  became  to  all  seem- 
ing, calmer;  but  it  was  only  the  calm  of  a  broken  and 
weary  heart.  Such  was  Major  Jones  at  the  time  when, 
suadente  diabolo,  it  seemed  meet  to  Fathers  Mooney  and 
D' Array  to  make  him  the  butt  of  their  raillery.  At  first 
he  could  not  believe  it,  —  the  thing  was  incredible,  impossi- 
ble ;  but  when  he  looked  around  the  table,  when  he  heard 
the  roars  of  laughter,  long,  loud,  and  vociferous ;  when  he 
heard  his  name  bandied  from  one  to  the  other  across  the 
table,  with  some  vile  jest  tacked  to  it  "  like  a  tin  kettle  to 
a  dog's  tail,"  he  awoke  to  the  full  measure  of  his  misery, 
—  the  cup  was  full.  Fate  had  done  her  worst,  and  he 
might  have  exclaimed  with  Lear,  "  Spit,  fire  —  spout,  rain," 
there  was  nothing  in  store  for  him  of  further  misfortune. 

A  drum-head  court-martial,  a  hint  "to  sell  out,"  ay,  a 
sentence  of  "dismissed  the  service,"  had  been  mortal  calam- 
ities, and,  like  a  man,  he  would  have  borne  them;  but  that 
he,  Major  John  Jones,  D.G.S.C.P.B.,  etc.,  who  had  drunk 
the  "pious,  glorious,  and  immortal,"  sitting  astride  of  "the 
great  gun  of  Athlone,"  should  come  to  this!  Alas  and 
alas !  He  retired  that  night  to  his  chamber  a  "  sadder,  if 
not  a  wiser  man ;  "  he  dreamed  that  the  "  statue  "  had  given 
place  to  the  unshapely  figure  of  Leo  X.,  and  that  "Lundy 
now  stood  where  Walker  stood  before."  He  jumped  from 
his  bed  in  a  moment  of  enthusiasm,  he  vowed  his  revenge, 
and  he  kept  his  vow. 

That  day  the  Major  was  "acting  field-officer."  The  vari- 
ous patrols,  sentries,  pickets,  and  outposts  were  all  under 
his  especial  control,  and  it  was  remarked  that  he  took 
peculiar  pains  in  selecting  the  men  for  night  duty,  which, 


72  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

in  the  prevailing  quietness  and  peace  of  that  time,  seemed 
scarcely  warrantable. 

Evening  drew  near,  and  Major  Jones,  summoned  by  the 
" oft-heard  beat,"  wended  his  way  to  the  mess.  The  officers 
were  dropping  in,  and  true  as  "the  needle  to  the  pole," 
came  Father  Mooney  and  the  Abbe.  They  were  welcomed 
with  the  usual  warmth,  and,  strange  to  say,  by  none  more 
than  the  Major  himself,  whose  hilarity  knew  no  bounds. 

How  the  evening  passed,  I  shall  not  stop  to  relate;  suffice 
it  to  say  that  a  more  brilliant  feast  of  wit  and  jollification 
not  even  the  North  Cork  ever  enjoyed.  Father  Luke's 
drollest  stories,  his  very  quaintest  humor,  shone  forth,  and 
the  Abbe  sang  a  new  chanson  a  Loire  that  Beranger  might 
have  envied. 

"What  are  you  about,  my  dear  Father  d' Array?"  said 
the  Colonel.  "You  are  surely  not  rising  yet?  Here's  a 
fresh  cooper  of  port  just  come  in;  sit  down,  I  entreat." 

"I  say  it  with  grief,  my  dear  Colonel,  we  must  away; 
the  half-hour  has  just  chimed,  and  we  must  be  within  '  the 
gates '  before  twelve.  The  truth  is,  the  superior  has  been 
making  himself  very  troublesome  about  our  '  carnal  amuse- 
ments,' as  he  calls  our  innocent  mirth,  and  we  must  there- 
fore be  upon  our  guard." 

"Well,  if  it  must  be  so,  we  shall  not  risk  losing  your 
society  altogether  for  an  hour  or  so  now;  so,  one  bumper 
to  our  next  meeting, — to-morrow,  mind;  and  now,  Mon- 
sieur  VAhbi,  au  revoir." 

The  worthy  fathers  finished  their  glasses,  and  taking  a 
most  affectionate  leave  of  their  kind  entertainers,  sallied 
forth  under  the  guidance  of  Major  Jones,  who  insisted 
upon  accompanying  them  part  of  the  way,  as,  "from  infor- 
mation he  had  received,  the  sentries  were  doubled  in  some 
places,  and  the  usual  precautions  against  surprise  all 
taken."  Much  as  this  polite  attention  surprised  the 
objects  of  it,  his  brother  officers  wondered  still  more,  and 
no  sooner  did  they  perceive  the  Major  and  his  companions 
issue  forth  than  they  set  out  in  a  body  to  watch  where  this 
most  novel  and  unexpected  complaisance  would  terminate, 


THE  PRIEST'S  SUPPER.  73 

When  the  priests  reached  the  door  of  the  barrack-yard, 
they  again  turned  to  utter  their  thanks  to  the  Major,  and 
entreat  him  once  more  "not  to  come  a  step  farther.  There 
now,  Major,  we  know  the  path  well,  so  just  give  us  the  pass, 
and  don't  stay  out  in  the  night  air." 

11  Ah,  out,  Monsieur  Jones,"  said  the  Abbe,  "retournez,  je 
vous  prie.  We  are,  I  may  say,  chez  nous.  Ces  braves  gens, 
les  North  Cork,  know  us  by  this  time." 

The  Major  smiled,  while  he  still  pressed  his  services  to 
see  them  past  the  pickets;  but  they  were  resolved,  and 
would  not  be  denied. 

"With  the  word  for  the  night  we  want  nothing  more," 
said  Father  Luke. 

"  Well,  then, "  said  the  Major,  in  the  gravest  tone,  —  and 
he  was  naturally  grave, — "you  shall  have  your  way;  but 
remember  to  call  out  loud,  for  the  first  sentry  is  a  little 
deaf,  and  a  very  passionate,  ill-tempered  fellow  to  boot." 

"Never  fear,"  said  Father  Mooney,  laughing;  "I'll  go 
bail  he'll  hear  me." 

"  Well,  the  word  for  the  night  is,  '  Bloody  end  to  the 
Pope,'  —  don't  forget,  now,  'Bloody  end  to  the  Pope.'" 
And  with  these  words  he  banged  the  door  between  him  and 
the  unfortunate  priests;  and  as  bolt  was  fastened  after  bolt, 
they  heard  him  laughing  to  himself  like  a  fiend  over  his 
vengeance. 

"And  big  bad  luck  to  ye,  Major  Jones,  for  the  same, 
every  day  ye  see  a  paving-stone,"  was  the  faint,  sub- 
audible  ejaculation  of  Father  Luke,  when  he  was  recov- 
ered enough  to  speak. 

"  Sacristi !  que  nous  sommes  attrapSs, "  said  the  Abbe, 
scarcely  able  to  avoid  laughing  at  the  situation  in  which 
they  were  placed. 

"Well,  there 's  the  quarter  chiming  now;  we  've  no  time 
to  lose.  Major  Jones!  Major  darling!  don't  now,  ah,  don't! 
sure  ye  know  we  '11  be  ruined  entirely.  There  now,  just 
change  it,  like  a  dacent  fellow !  The  devil's  luck  to  him, 
he  's  gone !  Well,  we  can't  stay  here  in  the  rain  all  night, 
and  be  expelled  in  the  morning  afterwards,  so  come  along." 


74  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

They  jogged  along  for  a  few  minutes  in  silence,  till  they 
came  to  that  part  of  the  "Duke's  "  demesne  wall  where  the 
first  sentry  was  stationed.  By  this  time  the  officers,  headed 
by  the  Major,  had  quietly  slipped  out  of  the  gate,  and  were 
following  their  steps  at  a  convenient  distance. 

The  fathers  had  stopped  to  consult  together  what  they 
should  do  in  this  trying  emergency,  when,  their  whisper 
being  overheard,  the  sentinel  called  out  gruffly,  in  the  gen- 
uine dialect  of  his  country,  "Who  goes  that?" 

"Father  Luke  Mooney  and  the  Abbe  d' Array,"  said  the 

former,  in  his  most  bland  and  insinuating  tone  of  voice, 

a  quality  he  most  eminently  possessed. 
"Stand,  and  give  the  countersign." 

"  AVe  are  coming  from  the  mess,  and  going  home  to  the 
college,"  said  Father  Mooney,  evading  the  question,  and 
gradually  advancing  as  he  spoke. 

"Stand,  or  I  '11  shot  ye,"  said  the  North  Corkian. 
Father  Luke  halted,  while  a  muttered  "  Blessed  Virgin !" 
announced  his  state  of  fear  and  trepidation. 
"D' Array,  I  say,  what  are  we  to  do?" 
"The  countersign,"  said  the  sentry,  whose  figure  they 
could  perceive  in  the  dim  distance  of  about  thirty  yards. 

"Sure  ye '11  let  us  pass,  my  good  lad,  and  ye '11  have  a 
friend  in  Father  Luke  the  longest  day  ye  live;  and  ye  might 
have  a  worse  in  time  of  need,  — ye  understand." 

Whether  he  did  understand  or  not,  he  certainly  did  not 
heed,  for  his  only  reply  was  the  short  click  of  a  gun-lock, 
that  bespeaks  a  preparation  to  fire. 

"There  's  no  help  now,"  said  Father  Luke;  "I  see  he  's  a 
haythen;  and  bad  luck  to  the  Major,  I  say  again."  And 
this,  in  the  fulness  of  his  heart,  he  uttered  aloud. 

"That 's  not  the  countersign,"  said  the  inexorable  sentry, 
striking  the  butt-end  of  his  musket  on  the  ground  with  a 
crash  that  smote  terror  into  the  hearts  of  the  priests. 

Mumble  —  mumble  —  " to  the  Pope,"  said  Father  Luke, 
pronouncing  the  last  words  distinctly,  after  the  approved 
practice  of  a  Dublin  watchman  on  being  awoke  from  his 
dreams  of  row  and  riot  by  the  last  toll  of  the  Post-office, 


THE  PRIEST'S   SUPPER.  75 

and  not  knowing  whether  it  has  struck  "twelve"  or  "three," 
sings  out  the  word  "o'clock"  in  along,  sonorous  drawl, 
that  wakes  every  sleeping  citizen,  and  yet  tells  nothing  how 
"Time  speeds  on  his  flight." 

"  Louder, "  said  the  sentry,  in  a  voice  of  impatience. 

"_to  the  Pope." 

"I  don't  hear  the  first  part." 

"Oh,  then,"  said  the  priest,  with  a  sigh  that  might  have 
melted  the  heart  of  anything  but  a  sentry,  "  Bloody  end  to 
the  Pope;  and  may  the  saints  in  heaven  forgive  me  for 
saying  it!  " 

"Again,"  called  out  the  soldier,  "and  no  muttering." 

"Bloody  end  to  the  Pope,"  cried  Father  Luke,  in  bitter 
desperation. 

"Bloody  end  to  the  Pope,"  echoed  the  Abbe. 

"Pass,  Bloody  end  to  the  Pope,  and  good-night,"  said  the 
sentry,  resuming  his  rounds  ;  while  a  loud  and  uproarious 
peal  of  laughter  behind  told  the  unlucky  priests  they  were 
overheard  by  others,  and  that  the  story  would  be  over  the 
whole  town  in  the  morning. 

Whether  it  was  that  the  penance  for  their  heresy  took 
long  in  accomplishing,  or  that  they  never  could  summon 
courage  sufficient  to  face  their  persecutor,  certain  it  is  the 
North  Cork  saw  them  no  more,  nor  were  they  ever  observed 
to  pass  the  precincts  of  the  college  while  that  regiment 
occupied  Maynooth. 

Major  Jones  himself  and  his  confederates  could  not  have 
more  heartily  relished  this  story  than  did  the  party  to 
whom  the  doctor  related  it.  Much,  if  not  all,  the  amuse- 
ment it  afforded,  however,  resulted  from  his  inimitable 
mode  of  telling,  and  the  power  of  mimicry  with  which  he 
conveyed  the  dialogue  with  the  sentry;  and  this,  alas! 
must  be  lost  to  my  readers,  —  at  least  to  that  portion  of 
them  not  fortunate  enough  to  possess  Dr.  Finucane's 
acquaintance. 

"Fin!  Fin!  your  long  story  has  nearly  famished  me," 
said  the  padre,  as  the  laugh  subsided ;  "  and  there  you  sit 
now  with  the  jug  at  your  elbow  this  half -hour;  I  never 


76  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

thought  you  would  forget  our  old  friend  Martin  Hanegan's 

auut." 

"Here's  to  her  health,"  said  Fin;  "and  your  reverence 
will  give  us  the  chant." 

"Agreed,"  said  Father  Malachi,  finishing  a  bumper;  and 
after  giving  a  few  preparatory  hems,  he  sang  the  following 
"singularly  wild  and  beautiful  poem,"  as  some  one  calls 
"Christabel:"  — 

"  Here 's  a  health  to  Martin  Hanegan's  aunt 
And  I  '11  tell  ye  the  reason  why ! 
She  eats  bekase  she  is  hungry, 
And  drinks  bekase  she  is  dry. 

"  And  if  ever  a  man 
Stopped  the  course  of  a  can, 
Martin  Hanegan's  aunt  would  cry,  — . 
'  Arrah,  fill  up  your  glass, 
And  let  the  jug  pass  ; 
How  d  'ye  know  but  your  neighbor  's  dhry  ? ' 

"  Come,  my  lord  and  gentlemen,  da  caj)o,  if  ye  please  — ■ 
1  Fill  up  your  glass, '  "  etc. ;  and  the  chanson  was  chorused 
with  a  strength  and  vigor  that  would  have  astonished  the 
Philharmonic. 

The  mirth  and  fun  now  grew  "  fast  and  furious ; "  and 
Father  Malachi,  rising  with  the  occasion,  flung  his  reckless 
drollery  and  fun  on  every  side,  sparing  none,  from  his 
cousin  to  the  coadjutor.  It  was  now  that  peculiar  period 
in  the  evening's  enjoyment  when  an  expert  and  practical 
chairman  gives  up  all  interference  or  management,  and 
leaves  everything  to  take  its  course;  this,  then,  was  the 
happy  moment  selected  by  Father  Malachi  to  propose  the 
little  "conthribution."  Pie  brought  a  plate  from  a  side- 
table,  and  placing  it  before  him  addressed  the  company  in 
a  very  brief  but  sensible  speech,  detailing  the  object  of  the 
institution  he  was  advocating,  and  concluding  with  the  fol- 
lowing words:  "And  now  ye '11  just  give  whatever  ye  like, 
according  to  your  means  in  life  and  what  ye  can  spare." 

The  admonition,  like  the  "morale"  of  an  income  tax,  had 


THE  PRIEST'S   SUPPER.  77 

the  immediate  effect  of  pitting  each  man  against  his  neigh- 
bor, and  suggested  to  their  already  excited  spirits  all  the 
ardor  of  gambling,  without,  however,  the  prospect  of  gain. 
The  plate  was  first  handed  to  me,  in  honor  of  my  "rank;  " 
and  having  deposited  upon  it  a  handful  of  small  silver,  the 
priest  ran  his  fingers  through  the  coin,  and  called  out,  — 

"  Five  pounds  at  least,  —  not  a  farthing  less,  as  I  am  a 
sinner.  Look,  then, — see,  now;  they  tell  ye  the  gentle- 
men don't  care  for  the  like  of  ye !  but  see  for  yourselves. 
May  I  trouble  y'r  lordship  to  pass  the  plate  to  Mr.  Ma- 
hony, — he's  impatient,  I  see." 

Mr.  Mahony,  about  whom  I  perceived  very  little  of  the 
impatience  alluded  to,  was  a  grim-looking  old  Christian  in 
a  rabbit-skin  waistcoat  with  long  flaps,  who  fumbled  in  the 
recesses  of  his  breeches-pocket  for  five  minutes,  and  then 
drew  forth  three  shillings,  which  he  laid  upon  the  plate 
with  what  I  fancied  very  much  resembled  a  sigh. 

"Six  and  sixpence,  is  it,  or  five  shillings?  All  the  same, 
Mr.  Mahony;  and  I'll  not  forget  the  thrifle  you  were 
speaking  about  this  morning,  any  way."  And  here  he 
leaned  over,  as  interceding  with  me  for  him,  but  in  reality 
to  whisper  into  my  ear,  "  The  greatest  miser  from  this  to 
Castlebar." 

"Who  's  that  put  down  the  half  guinea  in  goold?"  (and 
this  time  he  spoke  truth)  —  "who  's  that,  I  say?" 

"Tim  Kennedy,  your  reverence,"  said  Tim,  stroking  his 
hair  down  with  one  hand,  and  looking  proud  and  modest  at 
the  same  moment. 

"  Tim,  ye  're  a  credit  to  us  any  day,  and  I  always  said  so. 
It  *s  a  gauger  he  'd  like  to  be,  my  lord,"  said  he,  turning  to 
me  in  a  kind  of  stage  whisper.  I  nodded,  and  muttered 
something,  when  he  thanked  me  most  profoundly,  as  if  his 
suit  had  prospered. 

"Mickey  Oulahan,  the  Lord's  looking  at  ye,  Mickey." 
This  was  said  pianissimo  across  the  table,  and  had  the  effect 
of  increasing  Mr.  Oulahan's  donation  from  five  shillings  to 
seven,  —  the  last  two  being  pitched  in  very  much  in  the 
style  of  a  gambler  making  his  final  coup,  and  crying,  "  Va, 


78  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

banque!"     "The  Oulahans  were  always  dacent  people,— 
dacent  people,  my   lord." 

"Be  gorra,  the  Oulahans  was  niver  daceuter  nor  the 
Molowneys,  anyhow,"  said  a  tall,  athletic  young  fellow 
as  he  threw  down  three  crown-pieces  with  an  energy  that 
made  every  coin  leap  from  the  plate. 

"They'll  do  now,"  said  Father  Brennan;  "I'll  leave 
them  to  themselves."  And  truly  the  eagerness  to  get  the 
plate  and  put  down  the  subscription  fully  equalled  the  rapa- 
cious anxiety  I  have  witnessed  in  an  old  maid  at  loo  to  get 
possession  of  a  thirty-shilling  pool,  be  the  same  more  or 
less,  which  lingered  on  its  way  to  her  in  the  hands  of  many 
a  fair  competitor. 

"  Mr.  M'Neesh  "  —  Curzon  had  hitherto  escaped  all  notice 
—  "Mr.  M'Neesh,  to  your  good  health,"  cried  Father  Bren- 
nan. "It 's  many  a  secret  they  '11  be  getting  out  o'  ye  down 
there  about  the  Scotch  husbandry." 

Whatever  poor  Curzon  knew  of  "drills,"  certainly  did 
not  extend  to  them  when  occupied  by  turnips.  This  allu- 
sion of  the  priest's  being  caught  up  by  the  party  at  the  foot 
of  the  table,  they  commenced  a  series  of  inquiries  into  dif- 
ferent Scotch  plans  of  tillage,  —  his  brief  and  unsatisfac- 
tory answers  to  which,  they  felt  sure,  were  given  in  order 
to  evade  imparting  information.  By  degrees,  as  they  con- 
tinued to  press  him  with  question's,  his  replies  grew  more 
short,  and  a  general  feeling  of  dislike  on  both  sides  was  not 
very  long  in  following. 

The  father  saw  this,  and  determining,  with  his  usual  tact, 
to  repress  it,  called  on  the  Adjutant  for  a  song.  Now, 
whether  he  had  but  one  in  the  world,  or  whether  he  took 
this  mode  of  retaliating  for  the  annoyances  he  had  suffered, 
I  know  not;  but  true  it  is,  he  finished  his  tumble]'  at  a 
draught,  and  with  a  voice  of  no  very  peculiar  sweetness, 
though  abundantly  loud,  began  "The  Boyne  Water." 

He  had  just  reached  the  word  "battle,"  in  the  second 
line,  upon  which  he  was  bestowing  what  he  meant  to  be  a 
shake,  when,  as  if  the  word  suggested  it.  it  seemed  the  sig- 
nal for  a  general   engagement.     Dee, inters,  glasses,  jugs, 


THE  PRIEST'S   SUPPER.  79 

candlesticks,  —  ay,  and  the  money-dish,  —  flew  right  and 
left,  all  originally  intended,  it  is  true,  for  the  head  of  the 
luckless  Adjutant,  but  as  they  now  and  then  missed  their 
aim,  and  came  in  contact  with  the  "wrong  man,"  invaria- 
bly provoked  retaliation,  and  in  a  very  few  minutes  the 
battle  became  general. 

What  may  have  been  the  doctor's  political  sentiments  on 
this  occasion,  I  cannot  even  guess;  but  he  seemed  bent 
upon  performing  the  part  of  a  "convivial  Lord  Stanley," 
and  maintaining  a  dignified  neutrality.  With  this  apparent 
object,  he  mounted  upon  the  table,  —  to  raise  himself,  I  sup- 
pose, above  the  din  and  commotion  of  party  clamor,  —  and 
brandishing  a  jug  of  scalding  water,  bestowed  it  with  per- 
fect impartiality  on  the  combatants  on  either  side.  This 
Whig  plan  of  conciliation,  however  well  intended,  seemed 
not  to  prosper  with  either  party;  and  many  were  the  mis- 
siles directed  at  the  ill-starred  doctor.  Meanwhile  Father 
Malachi,  whether  following  the  pacific  instinct  of  his  order, 
in  seeking  an  asylum  in  troublesome  times,  or  equally 
moved  by  old  habit  to  gather  coin  in  low  places  (much  of 
the  money  having  fallen),  was  industriously  endeavoring  to 
insert  himself  beneath  the  table.  In  this,  with  one  vigor- 
ous push,  he  at  last  succeeded;  but  in  so  doing  lifted  it 
from  its  legs,  and  thus  destroying  poor  "Tin's"  gravity, 
precipitated  him,  jug  and  all,  into  the  thickest  of  the  fray, 
where  he  met  with  that  kind  reception  such  a  benefactor 
ever  receives  at  the  hand  of  a  grateful  public.  I  meanwhile 
hurried  to  rescue  poor  Curzon,  who,  having  fallen  to  the 
ground,  was  getting  a  cast  of  his  features  taken  in  pewter, 
for  such  seemed  the  operation  a  stout  farmer  was  perform- 
ing on  the  Adjutant's  face  with  a  quart.  With  considera- 
ble difficulty,  notwithstanding  my  supposed  "lordship,"  I 
succeeded  in  freeing  him  from  his  present  position ;  and  he 
concluding,  probably,  that  enough  had  been  done  for  one 
"sitting,"  most  willingly  permitted  me  to  lead  him  from 
the  room.  I  was  soon  joined  by  the  doctor,  who  assisted 
me  in  getting  my  poor  friend  to  bed ;  which  being  done,  he 
most  eagerly  entreated  me  to   join  the  company.      This, 


80  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

however,  I  firmly  but  mildly  declined,  very  much  to  his 
surprise;  for,  as  he  remarked,  "They'll  all  be  like  lambs 
now,  for  they  don't  believe  there 's  a  whole  bone  in  his 
body." 

Expressing  my  deep  sense  of  the  Christian-like  forbear- 
ance of  the  party,  I  pleaded  fatigue,  and  bidding  him  good- 
night, adjourned  to  my  bedroom-,  and  here,  although  the 
arrangements  fell  somewhat  short  of  the  luxurious  ones 
appertaining  to  my  late  apartment  at  Callonby,  they  were 
most  grateful  at  the  moment;  and  having  " addressed  my- 
self to  slumber,"  fell  fast  asleep,  and  only  awoke  late  on 
the  following  morning  to  wonder  where  I  was ;  from  any 
doubts  as  to  which  I  was  speedily  relieved  by  the  entrance 
of  the  priest's  bare-footed  "colleen,"  to  deposit  on  my  table 
a  bottle  of  soda-water,  and  announce  breakfast,  with  his 
reverence's  compliments. 

Having  made  a  hasty  toilet,  I  proceeded  to  the  parlor, 
which,  however  late  events  might  have  impressed  upon  my 
memory,  I  could  scarcely  recognize.  Instead  of  the  long 
oak  table  and  the  wassail-bowl,  there  stood  near  the  fire  a 
small  round  table  covered  with  a  snow-white  cloth,  upon 
which  shone  in  unrivalled  brightness  a  very  handsome  tea- 
equipage.  The  hissing  kettle  on  one  hob  was  balanced  by 
a  gridiron  with  three  newly  taken  trout  frying  under  the 
reverential  care  of  Father  Malachi  himself;  a  heap  of  eggs, 
ranged  like  shot  in  an  ordnance  yard,  stood  in  the  middle  of 
the  table,  while  a  formidable  pile  of  buttered  toast  browned 
before  the  grate;  the  morning  papers  were  airing  upon 
the  hearth,  —  everything  bespoke  that  attention  to  com- 
fort and  enjoyment  one  likes  to  discover  in  the  house  where 
chance  may  have  domesticated  him  for  a  day  or  two. 

"  Good-morning,  Mr.  Lorrequer.  I  trust  you  have  rested 
well,"  said  Father  Malachi,  as  I  entered. 

"Never  better;  but  where  are  our  friends?" 

"  I  have  been  visiting  and  comforting  them  in  their  afflic- 
tion, and  I  may  with  truth  assert  it  is  not  often  my  fortune 
to  have  three  as  sickly  looking  guests.  That  was  a  most 
unlucky  affair  last  night,  and  I  must  apologize  —  " 


THE  PKIEST'S  SUPPER.  81 

"Don't  say  a  word,  I  entreat;  I  saw  how  it  all  occurred, 
and  am  quite  sure  if  it  had  not  been  for  poor  Curzon's  ill- 
timed  melody  —  " 

"You  are  quite  right,"  said  the  father,  interrupting  me. 
"Your  friend's  taste  for  music  —  bad  luck  to  it! — was  the 
teterrima  causa  belli." 

"And  the  subscription,"  said  I,  — "how  did  it  succeed?" 

"  Oh !  the  money  went  in  the  commotion ;  and  although  I 
have  got  some  seven  pounds  odd  shillings  of  it,  the  war  was 
a  most  expensive  one  to  me.  I  caught  old  Mahony  very 
busy  under  the  table  during  the  fray  —  But  let  us  say  no 
more  about  it  now;  draw  over  your  chair.  Tea  or  coffee? 
There  's  the  rum,  if  you  like  it  in  French  fashion." 

I  immediately  obeyed  the  injunction,  and  commenced  a 
vigorous  assault  upon  the  trout,  —  caught,  as  he  informed 
me,  "within  twenty  perches  of  the  house." 

"Your  poor  friend's  nose  is  scarcely  regimental,"  said 
he,  "this  morning;  and  as  for  Fin,  he  was  never  remark- 
able for  beauty,  so,  though  they  might  cut  and  back,  they 
could  scarcely  disfigure  him.  As  Juvenal  says  —  isn't  it 
Juvenal?  — 

" '  Cantabit  vacuus  coram  latrone  viator ; ' 

or,  in  the  vernacular,  — 

" '  The  empty  traveller  may  whistle 
Before  the  robber  and  his  pistil'  [pistol]. 

There  ys  the  Chili  vinegar,  — another  morsel  of  the  trout?" 
"  I  thank  you.     What  excellent  coffee,  Father  Malachi !" 
"A  secret   I  learned  at  St.  Omer's   some  thirty  years 
since.     Any  letters,  Bridget?"  —  to  a  damsel  that  entered 
with  a  packet  in  her  hand. 

"A  gossoon  from  Kilrush,  y'r  reverence,  with  a  bit  of  a 
note  for  the  gentleman  there." 

"For  me?  Ah,  true  enough!  'Harry  Lorrequer,  Esq., 
Kilrush.  —  Try  Carrigaholt. '  "  So  ran  the  superscription, 
—  the  first  part  being  in  a  lady's  handwriting;  the  latter 
very  like  the  "rustic  paling"  of  the  worthy  Mrs.  Healy's 
style.     The  seal  was  a  large  one,  bearing  a  coronet  at  topj 

VOL.  i.  —  6 


82  HAKKY  LOKREQUER. 

and  the  motto,  in  old  Norman-French,  told  me  it  came  from 
Callonby. 

With  what  a  trembling  hand  and  beating  heart  I  broke  it 
open,  and  yet  feared  to  read  it,  —  so  much  of  my  destiny 
might  be  in  that  simple  page !  For  once  in  my  life  my  san- 
guine spirit  failed  me;  my  mind  could  take  in  but  one  casu- 
alty, that  Lady  Jane  had  divulged  to  her  family  the  nature 
of  my  attentions,  and  that  in  the  letter  before  me  lay  a  cold 
mandate  of  dismissal  from  her  presence  forever. 

At  last  I  summoned  courage  to  read  it ;  but  having  scru- 
pled to  present  to  my  readers  the  Keverend  Father  Brennan 
at  the  end  of  a  chapter,  let  me  be  not  less  punctilious  in 
the  introduction  of  her  ladyship's  billet. 


CHAPTER  VII. 

THE   LADY'S    LETTER. — PETER   AND    HIS   ACQUAINTANCES. — 

TOO    LATE. 

Her  ladyship's  letter  ran  thus:  — 

Callonbv,  Tuesday  morning. 
My  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  —  My  lord  has  deputed  me  to  convey 
to  you  our  adieus,  and  at  the  same  time  express  our  very  great  regret 
that  we  should  not  have  seen  you  hefore  our  departure  from  Ireland. 
A  sudden  call  of  the  House,  and  some  unexpected  ministerial  changes, 
require  Lord  Callonby's  immediate  presence  in  town  ;  and  probably 
before  this  reaches  you  we  shall  be  on  the  road.  Lord  Kilkee,  who 
left  us  yesterday,  was  much  distressed  at  not  having  seen  you,  — 
he  desired  me  to  say  you  shall  hear  from  him  from  Leamington. 
Although  writing  amid  all  the  haste  and  bustle  of  departure,  I  must 
not  forget  the  principal  part  of  my  commission,  nor,  ladylike,  defer  it 
to  a  postscript:  my  lord  entreats  that  you  will,  if- possible,  pass  a 
month  or  two  with  us  in  London  this  season  ;  and  if  any  difficulty 
should  occur  in  obtaining  leave  of  absence,  to  make  any  use  of  his 
name  you  think  fit  at  the  Horse  Guards,  where  he  has  some  influ- 
ence. Knowing  as  I  do  with  what  kindness  you  ever  accede  to  the 
wishes  of  your  friends,  I  need  not  say  how  much  gratification  this 
will  afford  us  all  ;  but,  sans  reponse,  we  expect  you.     Believe  me  to 

remain,  yours  very  sincerely, 

Charlotte  Callonby. 

P.  S.  —  We  are  quite  well,  except  Lady  Jane,  who  has  a  slight 
cold  and  has  been  feverish  for  the  last  day  or  two. 

Words  cannot  convey  any  idea  of  the  torrent  of  contend- 
ing emotions  under  which  I  perused  this  letter.  The  sud- 
denness of  the  departure,  without  an  opportunity  of  even  a 
moment's  leave-taking,  completely  unmanned  me.  What 
would  I  not  have  given  to  be  able  to  see  her  once  more, 
even  for  an  instant ;  to  say  "  a  good-by ;  "  to  watch  the  feel- 
ing with  which  she  parted  from  me,   and  augur  from  it 


84  IIARRY   LORREQUER. 

either  favorably  to  my  heart's  dearest  hope  or  darkest  de- 
spair. As  I  continued  to  read  on,  the  kindly  tone  of  the 
remainder  reassured  me ;  and  when  I  came  to  the  invitation 
to  London,  which  plainly  argued  a  wish  on  their  part  to 
perpetuate  the  intimacy,  I  was  obliged  to  read  it  again  and 
again  before  I  could  convince  myself  of  its  reality.  There 
it  was,  however,  most  distinctly  and  legibly  impressed  in 
her  ladyship's  fairest  calligraphy;  and  certainly,  great  as 
was  its  consequence  to  me  at  the  time,  it  by  no  means 
formed  the  principal  part  of  the  communication.  The  two 
lines  of  postscript  contained  more,  far  more,  food  for  hopes 
and  fears  than  did  all  the  rest  of  the  epistle. 

Lady  Jane  was  ill,  then ;  slightly,  however,  —  a  mere 
cold;  true,  but  she  was  feverish.  I  could  not  help  asking 
myself  what  share  had  I  in  causing  that  flushed  cheek  and 
anxious  eye,  and  pictured  to  myself,  perhaps  with  more 
vividness  than  reality,  a  thousand  little  traits  of  manner, 
all  proofs  strong  as  holy  writ  to  my  sanguine  mind  that  my 
affection  was  returned,  and  that  I  loved  not  in  vain.  Again 
and  again  I  read  over  the  entire  letter;  never,  truly,  did  a 
nisi  prius  lawyer  con  over  a  new  Act  of  Parliament  with 
more  searching  ingenuity  to  detect  its  hidden  meaning, 
than  I  did  to  unravel  through  its  plain  phraseology  the 
secret  intention  of  the  writer  towards  me. 

There  is  an  old  and  not  less  true  adage  that  what  we  wish 
we  readily  believe ,  and  so  with  me.  I  found  myself  an 
easy  convert  to  my  own  hopes  and  desires,  and  actually 
ended  by  persuading  myself  —  no  very  hard  task  —  that  my 
Lord  Callonby  had  not  only  witnessed  but  approved  of  my 
attachment  to  his  beautiful  daughter,  and  for  reasons  proba- 
bly known  to  him,  but  concealed  from  me,  opined  that  I 
was  a  suitable  parti,  and  gave  all  due  encouragement  to  my 
suit.  The  hint  about  using  his  lordship's  influence  at  the 
Horse  Guards  I  resolved  to  benefit  by,  —  not,  however,  in 
obtaining  leave  of  absence,  which  I  hoped  to  accomplish 
more  easily,  but  with  his  good  sanction  in  pushing  my  pro- 
motion when  I  should  claim  him  as  my  right-honorable 
father-in-law :  a  point  on  the  propriety  of  which  I  had  now 


THE   LADY'S  LETTER.  85 

fully  satisfied  myself.  What  visions  of  rising  greatness 
burst  upon  my  mind  as  I  thought  on  the  prospect  that 
opened  before  me !  But  here  let  me  do  myself  the  justice 
to  record  that  amid  all  my  pleasure  and  exultation,  my 
proudest  thought  was  in  the  anticipation  of  possessing  one 
in  every  way  so  much  my  superior,  — the  very  conscious- 
ness of  which  imparted  a  thrill  of  fear  to  my  heart  that 
such  good  fortune  was  too  much  even  to  hope  for. 

How  long  I  might  have  luxuriated  in  such  chateaux  en 
Espagne,  Heaven  knows ;  thick  and  thronging  fancies  came 
abundantly  to  my  mind,  and  it  was  with  something  of  the 
feeling  of  the  porter  in  the  "Arabian  Nights  "  as  he  sur- 
veyed the  fragments  of  his  broken  ware  hurled  down  in  a 
moment  of  glorious  dreaminess  that  I  turned  to  look  at  the 
squat  and  unaristocratic  figure  of  Father  Malachi  as  he  sat 
reading  his  newspaper  before  the  fire.  How  came  I  in  such 
company?  Methinks  the  Dean  of  Windsor  or  the  Bishop 
of  Durham  had  been  a  much  more  seemly  associate  for  one 
destined  as  I  was  for  the  flood-tide  of  the  world's  favor. 

My  eye  at  this  instant  rested  upon  the  date  of  the  letter, 
which  was  that  of  the  preceding  morning ;  and  immediately 
a  thought  struck  me  that,  as  the  day  was  a  lowering  and 
gloomy  one,  perhaps  they  might  have  deferred  their  journey, 
and  I  at  once  determined  to  hasten  to  Callonby,  and  if 
possible  see  them  before  their  departure. 

"Father  Brennan,*'  said  I  at  length,  "I  have  just  received 
a  letter  which  compels  me  to  reach  Kilrush  as  soon  as  possi- 
ble.    Is  there  any  public  conveyance  in  the  village?" 

"You  don't  talk  of  leaving  us,  surely,"  said  the  priest, 
"and  a  haunch  of  mutton  for  dinner,  and  Fin  says  he  '11  be 
down,  and  your  friend  too,  and  we  '11  have  poor  Beamish 
in  on  a  sofa!" 

"  I  am  sorry  to  say  my  business  will  not  admit  of  delay ; 
but  if  possible,  I  shall  return  to  thank  you  for  all  your 
kindness  in  a  day  or  two,  — perhaps  to-morrow." 

"Oh!  then,"  said  Father  Brennan,  "if  it  must  be  so,  why 
you  can  have  Pether,  my  own  pad,  and  a  better  you  never 
laid  leg  over;  only  give  him  his  own  time,  and  let  him  keep 


86  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  ' canter,'  and  he'll  never  draw  up  from  morning  till 
night.  And  now  I  '11  just  go  and  have  him  in  readiness  for 
you. " 

After  professing  my  warm  acknowledgments  to  the  good 
father  for  his  kindness,  I  hastened  to  take  a  hurried  fare- 
well  of  Curzon  before  going.  I  found  him  silting  up  in  bed 
taking  his  breakfast.  A  large  strip  of  black  plaster,  extend- 
ing from  the  corner  of  one  eye  across  the  nose,  and  terminat- 
ing near  the  mouth,  denoted  the  locale  of  a  goodly  wound; 
while  the  blue,  purple,  and  yellow  patches  into  which  his 
face  was  partitioned  out,  left  you  in  doubt  whether  he  more 
resembled  the  knave  of  clubs  or  a  new  map  of  the  ( mlnance 
Survey.  One  hand  was  wrapped  up  in  a  bandage;  and  alto- 
gether a  more  rueful  and  woe-begone  looking  figure  I  have 
rarely  looked  upon;  and  most  certainly  I  am  of  opinion  that 
the  "glorious,  pious,  and  immortal  memory"  would  have 
brought  pleasanter  recollections  to  Daniel  O'Connell  him- 
self than  it  did  on  that  morning  to  the  Adjutant  of  his 
Majesty's  4— th. 

"  Ah !  Harry, "  said  he,  as  I  entered,  "  what  Pandemonium 
is  this  we  've  got  into?  Did  you  ever  witness  such  a  busi- 
ness as  last  night's? >; 

"Why,  truly,"  said  I,  "I  know  of  no  one  to  blame  but 
yourself;  surely  you  must  have  known  what  a  row  your 
infernal  song  would  bring  on." 

"I  don't  know  now  whether  I  knew  it  or  not;  but  cer- 
tainly at  the  moment  I  should  have  preferred  anything  to 
the  confounded  cross-examination  I  was  under,  and  was 
glad  to  end  it  by  any  coiqy  (Vet at.  One  wretch  was  perse- 
cuting me  about  green  crops,  and  another  about  the  feeding 
of  bullocks,  —  about  either  of  which  I  knew  as  much  as  a 
bear  does  of  a  ballet." 

"Well,  truly,  you  caused  a  diversion  at  some  expense  to 
your  countenance,  for  I  never  beheld  anything  —  " 

"Stop  there,"  said  he;  "you  surely  have  not  seen  the 
doctor, — he  beats  me  hollow;  they  have  scarcely  left  so 
much  hair  on  his  head  as  would  do  for  an  Indian's  scalp- 
lock;  and,  of  a  verity,  his  aspect  is  awful  this  morning. 


THE  LADY'S  LETTER  87 

He  has  just  been  here,  and,  by  the  by,  has  told  me  all 
about  your  affair  with  Beamish.  It  appears  that  somehow 
you  met  him  at  dinner  and  gave  a  very  nourishing  account 
of  a  relative  of  his  who,  you  informed  him,  was  not  only 
selected  for  some  very  dashing  service,  but  actually  the  per- 
sonal friend  of  Picton;  and  after  the  family  having  blazed 
the  matter  all  over  Cork,  and  given  a  great  entertainment 
in  honor  of  their  kinsman,  it  turns  out  that  on  the  glorious 
18th  he  ran  away  to  Brussels  faster  than  even  the  French 
to  Charleroi,  —  for  which  act,  however,  there  was  no  asper- 
sion ever  cast  upon  his  courage,  that  quality  being  defended 
at  the  expense  of  his  honesty ;  in  a  word,  he  was  the  pay- 
master of  his  company,  and  had  what  Theodore  Hook  calls 
an  '  affection  of  his  chest '  that  required  change  of  air. 
Looking  only  to  the  running  away  part  of  the  matter,  I 
unluckily  expressed  some  regret  that  he  did  not  belong  to 
the  North  Cork,  and  I  remarked  the  doctor  did  not  seem 
to  relish  the  allusion,  and  as  I  only  now  remember  it  was 
his  regiment,  I  suppose  I  'm  in  for  more  mischief." 

I  had  no  time  to  enjoy  Curzon's  dilemma,  and  had  barely 
informed  him  of  my  intended  departure,  when  a  voice  from 
without  the  room  proclaimed  that  "Pether  "  was  ready;  and 
having  commissioned  the  Adjutant  to  say  the  "  proper  "  to 
Mr.  Beamish  and  the  doctor,  I  hurried  away,  and  after  a 
hearty  shake  of  the  hand  from  Father  Brennan,  and  a 
faithful  promise  to  return  soon,  I  mounted  and  set  off. 

Peter's  pace  was  of  all  others  the  one  least  likely  to 
disturb  the  lucubrations  of  a  castle-builder  like  myself. 
Without  any  admonition  from  whip  or  spur,  he  maintained 
a  steady  and  constant  canter,  which,  I  am  free  to  confess, 
was  more  agreeable  to  sit  than  it  was  graceful  to  behold; 
for  his  head  being  much  lower  than  his  tail,  he  every  mo- 
ment appeared  in  the  attitude  of  a  diver  about  to  plunge 
into  the  water,  and  more  than  once  I  had  misgivings  that  I 
should  consult  my  safety  better  if  I  sat  with  my  face  to  the 
tail,  — however,  what  will  not  habit  accomplish?  Before  I 
had  gone  a  mile  or  two,  I  was  so  lost  in  my  own  reveries 
and  reflections  that  I  knew  nothing  of  my  mode  of  progres- 


88  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

sion,  and  had  only  thoughts  and  feelings  for  the  destiny 
that  awaited  me.  Sometimes  I  would  fancy  myself  seated 
in  the  House  of  Commons  (on  the  ministerial  benches,  of 
course),  while  some  leading  oppositionist  was  pronouncing 
a  glowing  panegyric  upon  the  eloquent  and  statesmanlike 
speech  of  the  gallant  colonel, — myself;  then  T  thought  I 
was  making  arrangements  for  setting  out  for  my  new 
appointment,  —  and  Sancho  Panza  never  coveted  the  gov- 
ernment of  an  island  more  than  I  did,  though  only  a  West 
Indian  one;  and  lastly,  I  saw  myself  the  chosen  diplomat 
on  a  difficult  mission,  and  was  actually  engaged  in  the  easy 
and  agreeable  occupation  of  out-manoeuvring  Talleyrand  and 
Pozzi  di  Borgo,  when  Peter  suddenly  drew  up  at  the  door  of 
a  small  cabin  and  convinced  me  that  I  was  still  a  mortal  man 
and  a  lieutenant  in  his  Majesty's  4 — th.  Before  I  had  time 
afforded  me  even  to  guess  at  the  reason  of  this  sudden  halt, 
an  old  man  emerged  from  the  cabin,  which  I  saw  now  was 
a  road-side  ale-house,  and  presented  Peter  with  a  bucket  of 
meal  and  water,  —  a  species  of  "  refresher "  that  he  evi- 
dently was  accustomed  to  at  this  place,  whether  bestrode 
by  a  priest  or  an  ambassador.  Before  me  lay  a  long,  strag- 
gling street  of  cabins,  irregularly  thrown,  as  if  riddled  over 
the  ground:  this  I  was  informed  was  Kilkee.  While  my 
good  steed,  therefore,  was  enjoying  his  potation,  I  dis- 
mounted, to  stretch  my  legs  and  look  about  me;  and 
scarcely  had  I  done  so  when  I  found  half  the  population 
of  the  village  assembled  round  Peter,  whose  claims  to  noto- 
riety, I  now  learned,  depended  neither  upon  his  owner's 
fame,  nor  even  my  temporary  possession  of  him.  Peter,  in 
fact,  had  been  a  racer  once,  —  when,  the  Wandering  Jew 
might  perhaps  have  told,  had  he  ever  visited  Clare;  for  not 
the  oldest  inhabitant  knew  the  date  of  his  triumphs  on  the 
turf,  though  they  were  undisputed  traditions,  and  never  did 
any  man  appear  bold  enough  to  call  them  in  question. 
Whether  it  was  from  his  patriarchal  character,  or  that  he  was 
the  only  race-horse  ever  known  in  his  county,  I  cannot  say, 
but  of  a  truth  the  Grand  Lama  could  scarcely  be  a  greater 
object  of  reverence  in  Thibet  than  was  Peter  in  Kilkee. 


THE   LADY'S  LETTER.  89 

"Musha,  Peter,  but  it 's  well  y'  'r  looking  !  "  cried  one. 

"  Ah,  thin,  maybe  ye  an't  fat  on  the  ribs !  "  cried  another. 

"An'  cockin'  his  tail  like  a  coult,"  said  a  third. 

I  am  very  certain,  if  I  might  venture  to  judge  from  the 
faces  about,  that  had  the  favorite  for  the  St.  Leger  passed 
through  Kilkee  at  that  moment,  comparisons  very  little  to 
his  favor  had  been  drawn  from  the  assemblage  around  me. 
With  some  difficulty  I  was  permitted  to  reach  my  much- 
admired  steed,  and  with  a  cheer  which  was  sustained  and 
caught  up  by  every  denizen  of  the  village  as  I  passed 
through,  I  rode  on  my  way,  not  a  little  amused  at  my 
equivocal  popularity. 

Being  desirous  to  lose  no  time,  I  diverged  from  the 
straight  road  which  leads  to  Kilrush,  and  took  a  cross 
bridle-path  to  Callonby,  —  this,  I  afterwards  discovered, 
was  a  detour  of  a  mile  or  two ;  and  it  was  already  sunset 
when  I  reached  the  entrance  to  the  park.  I  entered  the 
avenue;  and  now  my  impatience  became  extreme,  for 
although  Peter  continued  to  move  at  the  same  uniform 
pace,  I  could  not  persuade  myself  that  he  was  not  founder- 
ing at  every  step,  and  was  quite  sure  we  were  scarcely 
advancing.  At  last  I  reached  the  wooden  bridge  and 
ascended  the  steep  slope,  — the  spot  where  I  had  first  met 
her  on  whom  my  every  thought  now  rested.  I  turned  the 
angle  of  the  clump  of  beech-trees  from  whence  the  first  view 
of  the  house  is  caught.  I  perceived,  to  my  inexpressible 
delight,  that  gleams  of  light  shot  from  many  of  the  win- 
dows, and  could  trace  their  passing  from  one  to  the  other. 
I  now  drew  rein,  and  with  a  heart  relieved  from  a  load  of 
anxiety,  pulled  up  my  good  steed,  and  began  to  think  of 
the  position  in  which  a  few  brief  seconds  would  place  me. 
I  reached  the  small  flower-garden,  sacred  by  a  thousand 
endearing  recollections.  Oh!  of  how  very  little  account 
are  the  many  words  of  passing  kindness  and  moments  of 
light-hearted  pleasure,  when  spoken  or  felt,  compared  to 
the  memory  of  them  when  hallowed  by  time  or  distance ! 

"The  place,  the  hour,  the  sunshine  and  the  shade,"  all 
reminded  me  of  the  happy  past,  and  all  brought  vividly 


90  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

before  me  every  portion  of  that  dream  of  happiness  in 
which  I  was  so  utterly,  so  completely  steeped, — every 
thought  of  the  hopelessness  of  my  passion  was  lost  in  the 
intensity  of  it,  and  I  did  not,  in  the  ardor  of  my  loving, 
stop  to  think  of  its  possible  success. 

It  was  strange  enough  that  the  extreme  impatience,  the 
hurried  anxiety,  I  had  felt  and  suffered  from  while  riding 
up  the  avenue,  had  now  fled  entirely,  and  in  its  place  I  felt 
nothing  but  a  diffident  distrust  of  myself  and  a  vague  sense 
of  awkwardness  about  intruding  thus  unexpectedly  upon 
the  family  while  engaged  in  all  the  cares  and  preparations 
for  a  speedy  departure.  The  hall-door  lay,  as  usual,  wide 
open;  the  hall  itself  was  strewn  and  littered  with  trunks, 
imperials,  and  packing-cases,  and  the  hundred  et  ceteras  of 
travelling  baggage.  I  hesitated  a  moment  whether  I  should 
not  ring,  but  at  last  resolved  to  enter  unannounced,  and 
presuming  upon  my  intimacy,  see  what  effect  my  sudden 
appearance  would  have  on  Lady  Jane,  whose  feelings 
towards  me  would  be  thus  most  unequivocally  tested.  I 
passed  along  the  wide  corridor,  entered  the  music-room: 
it  was  still.  I  walked  then  to  the  door  of  the  drawing- 
room:  I  paused,  I  drew  a  full  breath;  my  hand  trembled 
slightly  as  I  turned  the  lock;  I  entered.  The  room  was 
empty,  but  the  blazing  fire  upon  the  hearth,  the  large  arm- 
chairs drawn  round,  the  scattered  books  upon  the  small 
tables,  all  told  that  it  had  been  inhabited  a  very  short  time 
before.  "Ah!  "  thought  I,  looking  at  my  watch,  "they  are 
at  dinner;  "  and  I  began  at  once  to  devise  a  hundred  differ- 
ent plans  to  account  for  my  late  absence  and  present  visit. 
I  knew  that  a  few  minutes  would  probably  bring  them  into 
the  drawing-room,  and  I  felt  flurried  and  heated  as  the  time 
drew  near.  At  last  I  heard  voices  without.  I  started  from 
the  examination  of  a  pencil  drawing,  partly  finished,  but 
the  artist  of  which  I  could  not  be  deceived  in.  I  listened, 
—  the  sounds  drew  near;  I  could  not  distinguish  who  were 
the  speakers.  The  door-lock  turned,  and  I  rose  to  make 
my  well-conned  but  half-forgotten  speech,  and  oh,  con- 
founded disappointment!   Mrs.  Herbert,  the  housekeeper, 


THE  LADY'S   LETTER.  91 

entered.  She  started,  not  expecting  to  see  me,  and  imme- 
diately said,  — 

"Oh!  Mr.  Lorrequer,  then  you've  missed  them?" 

" Missed  them !  "  said  I ;  " how  —  when  —  where?  " 

"Did  you  not  get  a  note  from  my  lord?" 

"JSTo;  when  was  it  written?" 

"Oh,  dear  me,  that  is  so  very  unfortunate!  Why,  sir, 
my  lord  sent  off  a  servant  this  morning  to  Kilrush  in  Lord 
Kilkee's  tilbury  to  request  you  would  meet  them  all  in 
Ennis  this  evening,  where  they  had  intended  to  stop  for 
to-night;  and  they  waited  here  till  near  four  o'clock  to-day. 
But  when  the  servant  came  back  with  the  intelligence  that 
you  were  from  home,  and  not  expected  to  return  soon,  they 
were  obliged  to  set  out,  and  are  not  going  to  make  any  delay 
now  till  they  reach  London.  The  last  direction,  however, 
my  lord  gave  was  to  forward  her  ladyship's  letter  to  you  as 
soon  as  possible." 

What  I  thought,  said,  or  felt,  might  be  a  good  subject 
of  confession  to  Father  Malachi,  for  I  fear  it  may  be 
recorded  among  my  sins,  as  I  doubt  not  that  the  agony  I 
suffered  vented  itself  in  no  measured  form  of  speech  or 
conduct ;  but  I  have  nothing  to  confess  here  on  the  subject, 
being  so  totally  overwhelmed  as  not  to  know  what  I  did  or 
said.     My  first  gleam  of  reason  elicited  itself  by  asking,  — 

"Is  there,  then,  no  chance  of  their  stopping  in  Ennis  to- 
night?" As  I  put  the  question,  my  mind  reverted  to  Peter 
and  his  eternal  canter. 

"  Oh,  dear,  no,  sir !  The  horses  are  ordered  to  take  them, 
since  Tuesday;  and  they  only  thought  of  staying  in  Ennis 
if  you  came  time  enough  to  meet  them,  —  and  they  will  be 
so  sorry." 

"Do  you  think  so,  Mrs.  Herbert?  Do  you  indeed  think 
so?"  said  I,  in  a  most  insinuating  tone. 

"I  am  perfectly  sure  of  it,  sir." 

"Oh,  Mrs.  Herbert,  you  are  too  kind  to  think  so!  But 
perhaps  —  that  is  —  may  be,  Mrs.  Herbert,  she  said 
something  —  " 

"Who,  sir?" 


92  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Lady  Callonby,  I  mean.  Did  her  ladyship  leave  any 
message  for  me  about  her  plants?    Or  did  she  remember  —  " 

Mrs.  Herbert  kept  looking  at  me  all  the  time,  with  her 
great  wide  gray  eyes,  while  I  kept  stammering  and  blush- 
ing like  a  schoolboy. 

"No,  sir,  her  ladyship  said  nothing,  sir;  but  Lady 
Jane  —  " 

"Yes;  well,  what  of  Lady  Jane,  my  dear  Mrs.  Herbert?" 

"Oh,  sir!  But  you  look  pale, — would  not  you  like  to 
have  a  little  wine  and  water,  or  perhaps  —  " 

"No,  thank  you,  nothing  whatever;  I  am  just  a  little 
fatigued.     But  you  were  mentioning  —  " 

"Yes,  sir;  I  was  saying  that  Lady  Jane  was  mighty 
particular  about  a  small  plant:  she  ordered  it  to  be  left 
in  her  dressing-room.  Though  Collins  told  her  to  have 
some  of  the  handsome  ones  of  the  green-house,  she  would 
have  nothing  but  this ;  and  if  you  were  only  to  hear  half 
the  directions  she  gave  about  keeping  it  watered,  and  tak- 
ing off  dead  leaves,  you  'd  think  her  heart  was  set  on  it." 

Mrs.  Herbert  would  have  had  no  cause  to  prescribe  for 
my  paleness  had  she  only  looked  at  me  this  time;  fortu- 
nately, however,  she  was  engaged,  housekeeper-like,  in 
bustling  among  books,  papers,  etc.,  which  she  had  come 
in  for  the  purpose  of  arranging  and  packing  up,  —  she 
being  left  behind  to  bring  up  the  rear  and  the  heavy 
baggage. 

Very  few  moments'  consideration  were  sufficient  to  show 
me  that  pursuit  was  hopeless.  Whatever  might  have  been 
Peter's  performance  in  the  reign  of  "Queen  Anne,"  he  had 
now  become,  like  the  goose  so  pathetically  described  by  my 
friend  Lover,  rather  "  stiff  in  his  limbs ;  "  and  the  odds  were 
fearfully  against  his  overtaking  four  horses  starting  fresh 
every  ten  miles,  not  to  mention  their  being  some  hours 
in  advance  already.  Having  declined  all  Mrs.  Herbert's 
many  kind  offers  anent  food  and  rest,  I  took  a  last  linger- 
ing look  at  the  beautiful  picture  which  still  held  its  place 
in  the  room  lately  mine,  and  hurried  from  a  place  so  full 
of  recollections;  and  notwithstanding  the  many  reasons  I 


THE   LADY'S   LETTER.  93 

had  for  self-gratulation,  every  object  around  and  about  filled 
me  with  sorrow  and  regret  for  hours  that  had  passed,  never, 
never  to  return. 

It  was  very  late  when  I  reached  my  old  quarters  at 
Kilrush.  Mrs.  Healy,  fortunately,  was  in  bed  asleep,  — 
fortunately,  I  say;  for  had  she  selected  that  occasion  to 
vent  her  indignation  for  my  long  absence,  I  greatly  fear 
that,  in  my  then  temper,  I  should  have  exhibited  but  little 
of  that  Job-like  endurance  for  which  I  was  once  esteemed. 
I  entered  my  little  mean-looking  parlor,  with  its  three 
chairs  and  lame  table;  and  as  I  flung  myself  upon  the 
wretched  substitute  for  a  sofa,  and  thought  upon  the 
varied  events  which  a  few  weeks  had  brought  about,  it 
required  the  aid  of  her  ladyship's  letter,  which  I  had  open 
before  me,  to  assure  me  I  was  not  dreaming. 

The  entire  of  that  night  I  could  not  sleep ;  my  destiny 
seemed  upon  its  balance ;  and  whether  the  scale  inclined  to 
this  side  or  that,  good  or  evil  fortune  seemed  to  betide  me. 
How  many  were  my  plans  and  resolutions,  and  how  often 
abandoned,  —  again  to  be  pondered  over,  and  once  more 
given  up!  The  gray  dawn  of  the  morning  was  already 
breaking,  and  found  me  still  doubting  and  uncertain.  At 
last  the  die  was  thrown ;  I  determined  at  once  to  apply  for 
leave  to  my  commanding  officer  (which  he  could,  if  he 
pleased,  give  me,  without  any  application  to  the  Horse 
Guards),  set  out  for  Elton,  tell  Sir  Guy  my  whole  adven- 
ture, and  endeavor,  by  a  more  moving  love-story  than  ever 
graced  even  the  Minerva  Press,  to  induce  him  to  make  some 
settlement  on  me  and  use  his  influence  with  Lord  Callonby 
in  my  behalf ;  this  done,  set  out  for  London,  and  then  — 
and  then  — what  then?  Then  for  the  "Morning  Post," 
—  "  orange-flowers ;  "  "  happy  couple ;  "  "  Lord  Callonby 's 
seat  in  Hampshire,"  etc. 

"You  wished  to  be  called  at  five,  sir,"  said  Stubbes. 

"Yes;  is  it  five  o'clock? " 

"  No,  sir ;  but  I  heard  you  call  out  something  about  '  four 
horses, '  and  I  thought  you  might  be  hurried,  so  I  came  in 
a  little  earlier." 


94  HAERY  LORREQUER. 

"  Quite  right,  Stubbes.  Let  me  have  my  breakfast  as  soon 
as  possible,  and  see  that  chestnut  horse  I  brought  here  last 
night,  fed." 

"And  now  for  it,"  said  I.  After  writing  a  hurried  note 
to  Curzon,  requesting  him  to  take  command  of  my  party  at 
Kilrush  till  he  heard  from  me,  and  sending  my  kind  re- 
membrance to  my  three  friends,  I  despatched  the  epistle  by 
my  servant  on  Peter,  while  I  hastened  to  secure  a  place  in 
the  mail  for  Ennis,  on  the  box-seat  of  which  let  my  kind 
reader  suppose  me  seated,  as,  wrapping  my  box-coat  around 
me,  I  lit  my  cigar  and  turned  my  eyes  towards  Limerick. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

CONGRATULATIONS. — SICK    LEAVE. HOW   TO    PASS    THE 

BOARD. 

I  had  scarcely  seated  myself  to  breakfast  at  Swinburn's 
Hotel  in  Limerick,  when  the  waiter  presented  me  with  a 
letter.  As  my  first  glance  at  the  address  showed  it  to  be  in 
Colonel  Carden's  handwriting,  I  felt  not  a  little  alarmed 
for  the  consequences  of  the  rash  step  I  had  takeD  in  leav- 
ing my  detachment;  and  while  quickly  thronging  fancies  of 
arrest  and  court-martial  flitted  before  me,  I  summoned  reso- 
lution at  last  to  break  the  seal,  and  read  as  follows :  — 

My   DEAR   LORREQUER,  — 

"  '  Dear  Lorrequer! '  dear  me,"  thought  I,  —  "cool,  cer- 
tainly, from  one  I  have  ever  regarded  as  an  open  enemy." 

My  dear  Lorrequer, —  I  have  just  accidentally  heard  of  your 
arrival  here,  and  hasten  to  inform  you  that  as  it  may  not  be  impos- 
sible your  reasons  for  so  abruptly  leaving  your  detachment  are  known 
to  me,  I  shall  not  visit  your  breach  of  discipline  very  heavily.  My 
old  and  worthy  friend  Lord  Callonby,  who  passed  through  here  yes- 
terday, has  so  warmly  interested  himself  in  your  behalf  that  I  feel 
disposed  to  do  all  in  my  power  to  serve  you,  independent  of  my 
desire  to  do  so  on  your  own  account.  Come  over  here,  then,  as  soon 
as  possible,  and  let  us  talk  over  your  plans  together. 
Believe  me,  most  truly  yours, 

Henry  Carden. 

Barracks,  10  o'clock. 

However  mysterious  and  difficult  to  unravel  have  been 
some  of  the  circumstances  narrated  in  these  "Confessions," 
I  do  not  scruple  to  avow  that  the  preceding  letter  was  to 
me  by  far  the  most  inexplicable  piece  of  fortune  I  had 
hitherto  met  with.     That  Lord  Callonby  should  have  con' 


96  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

verted  one  whom  I  believed  an  implacable  foe  into  a  most 
obliging  friend,  was  intelligible  enough,  seeing  that  his 
lordship  had  through  life  been  the  patron  of  the  Colonel ; 
but  why  he  had  so  done,  and  what  communications  he  could 
possibly  have  made  with  regard  to  me,  that  Colonel  Carden 
should  speak  of  "  my  plans  "  and  proffer  assistance  in  them, 
was  a  perfect  riddle,  and  the  only  solution  one  so  ridicu- 
lously nattering  that  I  dared  not  think  of  it.  I  read  and 
re-read  the  note ;  misplaced  the  stops ;  canvassed  every  ex- 
pression; did  all  to  detect  a  meaning  different  from  the 
obvious  one,  fearful  of  a  self-deception  where  so  much  was 
at  stake.  Yet  there  it  stood  forth,  a  plain,  straightforward 
proffer  of  services  for  some  object  evidently  known  to  the 
writer;  and  my  only  conclusion  from  all  was  this,  that  "my 
Lord  Callonby  was  the  gem  of  his  order,  and  had  a  most 
remarkable  talent  for  selecting  a  son-in-law." 

I  fell  into  a  deep  revery  upon  my  past  life  and  the  pros- 
pects which  I  now  felt  were  opening  before  me.  Nothing 
seemed  extravagant  to  hopes  so  well  founded,  to  expecta- 
tions so  brilliant;  and  in  my  mind's  eye  I  beheld  myself 
one  moment  leading  my  young  and  beautiful  bride  through 
the  crowded  salons  of  Devonshire  House,  and  at  the  next 
I  was  contemplating  the  excellence  and  perfection  of  my 
stud  arrangements  at  Melton,  —  for  I  resolved  not  to  give 
up  hunting.  While  in  this  pleasurable  exercise  of  my 
fancy  I  was  removing  from  before  me  some  of  the  break- 
fast equipage,  or  as  I  then  believed  it,  breaking  the  trees 
into  better  groups  upon  my  lawn,  I  was  once  more  brought 
to  the  world  and  its  dull  reality  by  the  following  passage, 
which  my  eye  fell  upon  in  the  newspaper  before  me:  "We 
understand  that  the  4— th  are  daily  expecting  the  route  for 
Cork,  from  whence  they  are  to  sail,  early  in  the  ensuing 
month,  for  Halifax,  to  relieve  the  88th."  While  it  did  not 
take  a  moment's  consideration  to  show  me  that  though  the 
regiment  there  mentioned  was  the  one  I  belonged  to,  I  could 
have  no  possible  interest  in  the  announcement,  —  it  never 
coming  into  my  calculation  that  I  should  submit  to  such 
expatriation;  yet  it  gave  me  a  salutary  warning  that  there 


CONGRATULATIONS.  97 

was  no  time  to  be  lost  in  making  my  application  for  leave, 
which  once  obtained,  I  should  have  ample  time  to  manage 
an  exchange  into  another  corps.  The  wonderful  revolution 
a  few  days  had  effected  in  all  my  tastes  and  desires  did 
not  escape  me  at  this  moment.  But  a  week  or  two  before, 
and  I  should  have  regarded  an  order  for  foreign  service  as 
anything  rather  than  unpleasant;  now,  the  thought  was 
insupportable.  Then,  there  would  have  been  some  charm 
to  me  in  the  very  novelty  of  the  locale  and  the  indulgence 
of  that  vagrant  spirit  I  have  ever  possessed,  —  for,  like 
Justice  Woodcock,  "  I  certainly  should  have  been  a  vaga- 
bond if  Providence  had  not  made  me  a  justice  of  the  peace ;" 
now,  I  could  not  even  contemplate  the  thing  as  possible, 
and  would  actually  have  refused  the  command  of  a  regi- 
ment if  the  condition  of  its  acceptance  were  to  sail  for  the 
colonies. 

Besides,  I  tried — and  how  ingenious  is  self-deception  — 
I  tried  to  find  arguments  in  support  of  my  determination 
totally  different  from  the  reasons  which  governed  me.  I 
affected  to  fear  climate  and  to  dread  the  effect  of  the  tropics 
upon  my  health.  "It  may  do  very  well,"  thought  I,  "for 
men  totally  destitute  of  better  prospects,  with  neither  tal- 
ent, influence,  nor  powerful  connection,  to  roast  their 
cheeks  at  Sierra  Leone,  or  suck  a  sugar-cane  at  St.  Lucia. 
But  that  you,  Harry  Lorrequer,  should  waste  your  sweet- 
ness upon  planters'  daughters,  —  that  have  only  to  be 
known  to  have  the  world  at  your  feet!  The  thing  is 
absurd,  and  not  to  be  thought  of!  Yes,"  said  I,  half 
aloud,  "we  read  in  the  army  list  that  Major  A.  is  ap- 
pointed to  the  50th.  and  Captain  B.  to  the  12th;  but  how 
much  more  near  the  truth  would  it  be  to  say,  '  That  his 
Majesty,  in  consideration  of  the  distinguished  services  of 

the  one,  has  been  graciously  pleased  to  appoint  him  to , 

a  case  of  blue  and  collapsed  cholera,  in  India;  and  also  for 
the  bravery  and  gallant  conduct  of  the  other,  in  his  late 
affair  with  the  "  How-dow-dallah  Indians,"  has  pro- 
moted him  to  the ,  yellow  fever  now  devastating  and 

desolating  Jamaica '  ?  "     How  far  my  zeal  for  the  service 

VOL.  I.  —  7 


98  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

might  have  carried  rue  on  this  point  I  know  not,  for  I  was 
speedily  aroused  from  my  musings  by  the  loud  tramp  of 
feet  upon  the  stairs,  and  the  sound  of  many  well-known 
voices  of  my  brother  officers,  who  were  coming  to  visit  me. 

"So,  Harry,  my  boy,"  said  the  fat  Major,  as  he  entered, 
"  is  it  true  we  are  not  to  have  the  pleasure  of  your  company 
to  Jamaica  this  time?  " 

"He  prefers  a  pale  face,  it  seems,  to  a  black  one;  and 
certainly,  with  thirty  thousand  in  the  same  scale,  the  taste 
is  excusable." 

"  But,  Lorrequer, "  said  a  third,  "  we  heard  that  you  had 
canvassed  the  county  in  the  Callonby  interest.  Why,  man, 
where  do  you  mean  to  pull  up?" 

"As  for  me,"  lisped  a  large-eyed,  white-haired  ensign  of 
three  months'  standing,  "  I  think  it  devilish  hard  old  Car- 
den  did  n't  send  me  down  there  too,  for  I  hear  there  are  two 
girls  in  the  family,  eh,  Lorrequer?" 

Having,  with  all  that  peculiar  bashfulness  such  occasions 
are  sure  to  elicit,  disclaimed  the  happiness  my  friends  so 
clearly  ascribed  to  me,  I  yet  pretty  plainly  let  it  be  under- 
stood that  the  more  brilliant  they  supposed  my  present 
prospects  to  be,  the  more  near  were  they  to  estimate  them 
justly.  One  thing  certainly  gratified  me  throughout.  All 
seemed  rejoiced  at  my  good  fortune,  and  even  the  old  Scotch 
paymaster  made  no  more  caustic  remark  than  that  he  "wad 
na  wonder  if  the  chiel's  black  whiskers  wad  get  him  made 
governor  of  Stirling  Castle  before  he  'd  dee." 

Should  any  of  my  most  patient  listeners  to  these  my 
humble  "  Confessions "  wonder,  either  here  or  elsewhere, 
upon  what  very  slight  foundations  I  built  these  my  cha- 
teaux en  Espagne,  I  have  only  one  answer,  that  from  my 
boyhood  I  have  had  a  taste  for  florid  architecture,  and 
would  rather  have  put  up  with  any  inconvenience  of 
ground  than  not  build  at  all. 

As  it  was  growing  late,  I  hurriedly  bade  adieu  to  my 
friends  and  hastened  to  Colonel  Carden's  quarters,  where 
I  found  him  waiting  for  me  in  company  with  my  old  friend 
Fitzgerald,   our   regimental   surgeon.     Our  first  greetings 


CONGRATULATIONS.  99 

over,  the  Colonel  drew  me  aside  into  a  window,  and  said 
that  from  certain  expressions  Lord  Callonby  had  made  use 
of,  certain  hints  he  had  dropped,  he  was  perfectly  aware  of 
the  delicate  position  in  which  I  stood  with  respect  to  his 
lordship's  family.  "In  fact,  my  dear  Lorrequer,"  he  con- 
tinued, "without  wishing  in  the  least  to  obtrude  myself 
upon  your  confidence,  I  must  yet  be  permitted  to  say  you 
are  the  luckiest  fellow  in  Europe,  and  I  most  sincerely 
congratulate  you  on  the  prospect  before  you." 

"  But,  my  dear  Colonel,  I  assure  you  —  " 

"  Well,  well,  there,  —  not  a  word  more ;  don't  blush  now. 
I  know  there  is  always  a  kind  of  secrecy  thought  necessary 
on  these  occasions,  for  the  sake  of  other  parties ;  so  let  us 
pass  to  your  plans.  From  what  I  have  collected,  you  have 
not  proposed  formally.  But,  of  course,  you  desire  a  leave. 
You  '11  not  quit  the  army,  I  trust,  —  no  necessity  for  that ; 
such  influence  as  yours  can  always  appoint  you  to  an  unat- 
tached commission." 

"  Once  more  let  me  protest,  sir,  that  though  for  certain 
reasons  most  desirous  to  obtain  a  leave  of  absence,  I  have 
not  the  most  remote  —  " 

"That's  right,  quite  right;  I  am  sincerely  gratified  to 
hear  you  say  so,  and  so  will  be  Lord  Callonby,  —  for  he 
likes  the  service." 

And  thus  was  my  last  effort  at  a  disclaimer  cut  short  by 
the  loquacious  little  Colonel,  who  regarded  my  unfinished 
sentence  as  a  concurrence  with  his  own  opinion. 

"Allah  il  Allah;'  thought  I,  "it  is  my  Lord  Callonby's 
own  plot;  and  his  friend  Colonel  Carden  aids  and  abets 
him." 

"Now,  Lorrequer,"  resumed  the  Colonel,  "let  us  proceed. 
You  have,  of  course,  heard  that  we  are  ordered  abroad,  — 
mere  newspaper  report  for  the  present;  nevertheless,  it  is 
extremely  difficult,  almost  impossible,  without  a  sick  certi- 
ficate, to  obtain  a  leave  sufficiently  long  for  your  purpose." 
And  here  he  smirked  and  I  blushed,  selon  les  regies. 

"A  sick  certificate,"  said  I,  in  some  surprise. 

"The  only  thing  for  you,"  said  Fitzgerald,  taking  a  long 


100  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

pinch  of  snuff;  "and  I  grieve  to  say  you  have  a  most  villa- 
uous  look  of  good  health  about  you." 

"I  must  acknowledge  I  have  seldom  felt  better." 

"So  much  the  worse,  so  much  the  worse,"  said  Fitzgerald, 
despondingly.  "  Is  there  no  family  complaint,  no  respect- 
able heirloom  of  infirmity  you  can  lay  claim  to  from  your 
kindred?" 

"None  that  I  know  of,  unless  a  very  active  performance 
on  the  several  occasions  of  breakfast,  dinner,  and  supper, 
with  a  tendency  towards  port  and  an  inclination  to  sleep 
ten  in  every  twenty-four  hours,  be  a  sign  of  sickness. 
These  symptoms  I  have  known  many  of  the  family  suffer 
for  years  without  the  slightest  alleviation,  though,  strange 
as  it  may  appear,  they  occasionally  had  medical  advice." 

Fitz  took  no  notice  of  my  sneer  at  the  faculty,  but  pro- 
ceeded to  strike  my  chest  several  times  with  his  finger-tips. 
"Try  a  short  cough,  now,"  said  he.  "Ah,  that  will  never 
do!     Do  you  ever  flush,  — before  dinner,  I  mean?" 

"Occasionally,  when  I  meet  with  a  luncheon." 

"  I  'm  fairly  puzzled, "  said  poor  Fitz,  throwing  himself 
into  a  chair.  "  Gout  is  a  very  good  thing ;  but  then,  you  see, 
you  are  only  a  sub,  and  it  is  clearly  against  the  Articles  of 
War  to  have  it  before  being  a  field-officer  at  least.  Apoplexy 
is  the  best  I  can  do  for  you ;  and,  to  say  the  truth,  any  one 
who  witnesses  your  performance  at  mess  may  put  faith  in 
the  likelihood  of  it.  Do  you  think  you  could  get  up  a  fit 
for  the  medical  board?  "  said  Fitz,  gravely. 

"Why,  if  absolutely  indispensable,"  said  I,  "and  with 
good  instruction,  — something  this  way,  eh,  is  it  not?" 

"Nothing  of  the  kind;  you  are  quite  wrong." 

"Is  there  not  always  a  little  laughing  and  crying?" 
said  I. 

"  Oh,  no,  no ;  take  the  cue  from  the  paymaster  any  even- 
ing after  mess,  and  you  '11  make  no  mistake,  —  very  florid 
about  the  cheeks ;  rather  a  lazy  look  in  one  eye,  the  other 
closed  up  entirely;  snore  a  little  from  time  to  time,  and 
don't  be  too  much  disposed  to  talk." 

"And  you  think  I  may  pass  muster  in  this  way?" 


CONGRATULATIONS.  101 

"  Indeed  you  may,  if  old  Caruie,  the  inspector,  happen  to 
be  (what  he  is  not  often)  in  a  good  humor.  But  I  confess 
I  'd  rather  you  were  really  ill,  for  we  've  passed  a  great 
number  of  counterfeits  latterly,  and  we  may  be  all  pulled 
up  ere  long." 

"  Not  the  less  grateful  for  your  kindness, "  said  I ;  "  but 
still  I  'd  rather  matters  stood  as  they  do." 

Having  at  length  obtained  a  very  formidable  statement 
of  my  "  case  "  from  the  doctor,  and  a  strong  letter  from  the 
Colonel  deploring  the  temporary  loss  of  so  promising  a 
young  officer,  I  committed  myself  and  my  portmanteau  to 
the  inside  of  his  Majesty's  mail,  and  started  for  Dublin 
with  as  light  a  heart  and  high  spirits  as  were  consistent 
with  so  much  delicacy  of  health  and  the  directions  of  my 
doctor. 


.  -J 


CHAPTER  IX. 

THE   ROAD.  TRAVELLING   ACQUAINTANCES. A   PACKET 

ADVENTURE. 

I  shall  not  stop  now  to  narrate  the  particulars  of  rny  visit 
to  the  worthies  of  the  medical  hoard,  the  rather  as  some  of 
my  "  Confessions  "  to  come  have  reference  to  Dublin  and 
many  of  those  that  dwell  therein.  I  shall  therefore  con- 
tent myself  here  with  stating  that  without  any  difficulty  I 
obtained  a  six  months'  leave,  and  having  received  much 
advice  and  more  sympathy  from  many  members  of  that 
body,  took  a  respectful  leave  of  them  and  adjourned  to 
Bilton's,  where  I  had  ordered  dinner  and  (as  I  was  advised 
to  live  low)  a  bottle  of  Sneyd's  claret.  My  hours  in  Dublin 
were  numbered;  at  eight  o'clock  on  the  evening  of  my 
arrival  I  hastened  to  the  Pigeon  House  pier  to  take  my 
berth  in  the  packet  for  Liverpool.  And  here,  gentle  reader, 
let  me  implore  you,  if  you  have  bowels  of  compassion,  to 
commiserate  the  condition  of  a  sorry  mortal  like  my- 
self. In  the  days  of  which  I  now  speak,  steam-packets 
were  not,  — men  knew  not  then  of  the  pleasure  of  going  to 
a  comfortable  bed  in  Kingstown  harbor,  and  waking  on  the 
morning  after  in  the  Clarence  dock  at  Liverpool,  with  only 
the  addition  of  a  little  sharper  appetite  for  breakfast  before 
they  set  out  on  an  excursion  of  forty  miles  per  hour 
through  the  air. 

In  the  time  I  have  now  to  commemorate,  the  intercourse 
between  the  two  countries  was  maintained  by  two  sailing 
vessels  of  small  tonnage  and  still  scantier  accommodation. 
Of  the  one  now  in  question  I  well  recollect  the  name,  — 
she  was  called  the  "  Alert ; "  and  certainly  a  more  unfortu- 
nate misnomer  could  scarcely  be  conceived.     Well,  there 


THE  ROAD.  103 

was  no  choice;  so  I  took  my  place  upon  the  crowded  deck 
of  the  little  craft,  and  in  a  drizzling  shower  of  chilly  rain, 
and  amid  more  noise,  confusion,  and  bustle  than  would 
prelude  the  launch  of  a  line-of-battle  ship,  we  "sidled," 
goose-fashion,  from  the  shore,  and  began  our  voyage 
towards  England. 

It  is  not  my  intention,  in  the  present  stage  of  my  "  Con- 
fessions," to  delay  on  the  road  towards  an  event  which 
influenced  so  powerfully  and  so  permanently  my  after-life ; 
yet  I  cannot  refrain  from  chronicling  a  slight  incident 
which  occurred  on  board  the  packet,  and  which,  I  have  no 
doubt,  may  be  remembered  by  some  of  those  who  throw 
their  eyes  on  these  pages. 

One  of  my  fellow-passengers  was  a  gentleman  holding  a 
high  official  appointment  in  the  viceregal  court,  either 
comptroller  of  the  household,  master  of  the  horse,  or 
something  else  equally  magnificent;  however,  whatever 
the  nature  of  the  situation,  one  thing  is  certain,  —  one 
possessed  of  more  courtly  manners  and  more  polished 
address  cannot  be  conceived;  to  which  he  added  all  the 
attractions  of  a  very  handsome  person  and  a  most  prepos- 
sessing countenance.  The  only  thing  the  most  scrupulous 
critic  could  possibly  detect  as  faulty  in  his  whole  air  and 
bearing  was  a  certain  ultra  refinement  and  fastidiousness, 
which  in  a  man  of  acknowledged  family  and  connections 
was  somewhat  unaccountable,  and  certainly  unnecessary. 
The  fastidiousness  I  speak  of  extended  to  everything  round 
and  about  him.  He  never  ate  of  the  wrong  dish  nor  spoke 
to  the  wrong  man  in  his  life ;  and  that  very  consciousness 
gave  him  a  kind  of  horror  of  chance  acquaintances  which 
made  him  shrink  within  himself  from  persons  in  every 
respect  his  equals.  Those  who  knew  Sir  Stewart  Moore 
will  know  I  do  not  exaggerate  in  either  my  praise  or  cen- 
sure ;  and  to  those  who  have  not  had  that  pleasure,  I  have 
only  to  say  theirs  was  the  loss,  and  they  must  take  my 
word  for  the  facts. 

The  very  antithesis  to  the  person  just  mentioned  was 
another  passenger  then  on  board.     She  —  for  even  in  sex 


104  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

they  were  different  —  she  was  a  short,  squat,  red-faced, 
vulgar-looking  woman  of  about  fifty,  possessed  of  a  most 
garrulous  tendency,  and  talking  indiscriminately  with 
every  one  about  her,  careless  what  reception  her  addresses 
met  with,  and  quite  indifferent  to  the  many  rebuffs  she 
momentarily  encountered.  To  me,  by  what  impulse 
driven,  Heaven  knows,  this  amorphous  piece  of  woman- 
hood seemed  determined  to  attach  herself.  Whether  in 
the  smoky  and  almost  impenetrable  recesses  of  the  cabin, 
or  braving  the  cold  and  penetrating  rain  upon  deck,  it  mat- 
tered not,  she  was  ever  at  my  side,  and  not  only  martyring 
me  by  the  insufferable  annoyance  of  her  vulgar  loquacity, 
but  actually,  from  the  appearance  of  acquaintanceship  such 
constant  association  gave  rise  to,  frightening  any  one  else 
from  conversing  with  me,  and  rendering  me,  ere  many 
hours,  a  perfect  pariah  among  the  passengers.  By  no  one 
were  we  —  for,  alas!  we  had  become  Siamese  —  so  thor- 
oughly dreaded  as  by  the  refined  baronet  I  have  mentioned ; 
he  appeared  to  shrink  from  our  very  approach,  and  avoided 
us  as  though  we  had  the  plagues  of  Egypt  about  us.  I  saw 
this,  I  felt  it  deeply,  and  as  deeply  and  resolutely  I  vowed 
to  be  revenged;  and  the  time  was  not  long  distant  in  afford- 
ing me  the  opportunity. 

The  interesting  Mrs.  Mulrooney  —  for  such  was  my  fair 
companion  called  —  was  on  the  present  occasion  making 
her  debut  on  what  she  was  pleased  to  call  the  "says; "  she 
was  proceeding  to  the  Liverpool  market  as  proprietor  and 
supercargo  over  some  legion  of  swine  that  occupied  the 
hold  of  the  vessel,  and  whose  mellifluous  tones  were  occa- 
sionally heard  in  all  parts  of  the  ship.  Having  informed 
me  on  these,  together  with  some  circumstances  of  her  birth 
and  parentage,  she  proceeded  to  narrate  some  of  the  cau- 
tions given  by  her  friends  as  to  her  safety  when  making 
such  a  long  voyage,  and  also  to  detail  some  of  the  antisep- 
tics to  that  dread  scourge,  sea-sickness,  in  the  fear  and  ter- 
ror of  which  she  had  come  on  board,  and  seemed  every 
hour  to  be  increasing  in  alarm  about. 

"Do  you  think  then,  sir,  that  pork  is  no  good  agin  the 


THE  ROAD.  105 

sickness?  Mickey  —  that's  my  husband,  sir, — says  it's 
the  only  thing  in  life  for  it,  av  it 's  toasted." 

"Not  the  least  use,  I  assure  you." 

"Nor  sperits  and  wather?" 

"Worse  and  worse,  ma'am." 

"Oh,  thin,  maybe  oaten  mail  tay  would  do?  It's  a 
beautiful  thing  for  the  stomick,  anyhow." 

"Rank  poison  on  the  present  occasion,  believe  me." 

"Oh,  thin,  blessed  Mary,  what  am  I  to  do?  What  is  to 
become  of  me?" 

"Go  down  at  once  to  your  berth,  ma'am;  lie  still  and 
without  speaking  till  we  come  in  sight  of  land ;  or  "  —  and 
here  a  bright  thought  seized  me  —  "  if  you  really  feel  very 
ill,  call  for  that  man  there  with  the  fur  collar  on  his  coat, 

—  he  can  give  you  the  only  thing  I  ever  knew  of  any  effi- 
cacy. He  's  the  steward,  ma'am,  —  Stewart  Moore.  But 
you  must  be  on  your  guard  too,  as  you  are  a  stranger,  for 
he 's  a  conceited  fellow,  and  has  saved  a  trifle,  and  sets  up 
for  a  half  gentleman ;  so  don't  be  surprised  at  his  manner, 

—  though,  after  all,  you  may  find  him  very  different ;  some 
people,  I  've  heard,  think  him  extremely  civil." 

"And  he  has  a  cure,  ye  say?" 

"The  only  one  I  ever  heard  of,  —  it  is  a  little  cordial  of 
which  you  take  I  don't  know  how  much  every  ten  or  fifteen 
minutes." 

"And  the  naygur  does  n't  let  the  saycret  out,  bad  manners 
to  him?  " 

"No,  ma'am;  he  has  refused  every  offer  on  the  subject." 

"May  I  be  so  bowld  as  to  ax  his  name  again?" 

"  Stewart  Moore,  ma'am.  Moore  is  the  name,  but  people 
always  call  him  Stewart  Moore;  just  say  that  in  a  loud, 
clear  voice,  and  you  '11  soon  have  him." 

With  the  most  profuse  protestations  of  gratitude  and 
promises  of  pork  a  discretion  if  ever  I  sojourned  at  Balli- 
nasloe,  my  fair  friend  proceeded  to  follow  my  advice  and 
descended  to  the  cabin. 

Some  hours  after,  I  also  betook  myself  to  my  rest,  from 
which,  however,  towards  midnight,  I  was  awoke  by  the 


106  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

heavy  working  and  pitching  of  the  little  vessel  as  she 
labored  in  a  rough  sea.  As  I  looked  forth  from  my  nar- 
row crib,  a  more  woe-begone  picture  can  scarcely  be  ima- 
gined than  that  before  me.  Here  and  there  through  the 
gloomy  cabin  lay  the  victims  of  the  fell  malady,  in  every 
stage  of  suffering  and  in  every  attitude  of  misery.  Their 
cries  and  lamentings  mingled  with  the  creaking  of  the 
bulkheads  and  the  jarring  twang  of  the  dirty  lamp,  whose 
irregular  swing  told  plainly  how  oscillatory  was  our  pres- 
ent motion.  I  turned  from  the  unpleasant  sight,  and  was 
about  again  to  address  myself  to  slumber  with  what  success 
I  might,  when  I  started  at  the  sound  of  a  voice  in  the  very 
berth  next  to  me,  whose  tones,  once  heard,  there  was  no 
forgetting.  The  words  ran,  as  nearly  as  I  can  recollect, 
thus : — 

"Oh,  thin,  bad  luck  to  ye  for  pigs  that  ever  brought  me 
into  the  like  of  this!  Oh,  Lord,  there  it  is  again  I"  And 
here  a  slight  interruption  to  eloquence  took  place,  during 
which  I  was  enabled  to  reflect  upon  the  author  of  the  com- 
plaint, who,  I  need  not  say,  was  Mrs.  Mulrooney. 

"I  think  a  little  tay  would  settle  my  stomick,  if  I  only 
could  get  it;  but  what's  the  use  of  talking  in  this  horrid 
place?  They  never  mind  me  no  more  than  if  I  was  a  pig. 
Steward,  steward!  Oh,  thin,  it's  wishing  you  well  I  am 
for  a  steward!  Steward,  I  say!"  and  this  she  really 
did  say,  with  an  energy  of  voice  and  manner  that  startled 
more  than  one  sleeper.  "Oh,  you're  coming  at  last, 
steward!" 

"Ma'am,"  said  a  little  dapper  and  dirty  personage  in  a 
blue  jacket,  with  a  greasy  napkin  negligently  thrown  over 
one  arm  ex  officio,  "ma'am,  did  you  call?" 

"Call!  — is  it  call?  No;  but  I  'm  roaring  for  you  this 
half-hour.  Come  here.  Have  you  any  of  the  cordial 
dhrops  agin  the  sickness?     You  know  what  I  mean." 

"Is  it  brandy,  ma'am?" 

"No,  it  isn't  brandy." 

"  We  have  got  gin,  ma'am,  and  bottled  porter,  —  cider, 
ma'am,  if  you  like." 


THE  ROAD.  107 

"Agh,  no!  sure  I  want  the  dhrops  agin  the  sickness." 

"Don't  know,  indeed,  ma'am." 

"Ah,  you  stupid  creature!  Maybe  you're  not  the  real 
steward.     What 's  your  name?  " 

"Smith,  ma'am." 

"Ah,  I  thought  so!     Go  away,  man,  go  away." 

This  injunction,  given  in  a  diminuendo  cadence,  was 
quickly  obeyed,  and  all  was  silence  for  a  moment  or  two. 
Once  more  was  I  dropping  asleep  when  the  same  voice  as 
before  burst  out  with,  — 

"Am  I  to  die  here  like  a  hay  then,  and  nobody  to  come 
near  me?     Steward!  steward!  steward  Moore,  I  say!" 

"  Who  calls  me  ?  "  said  a  deep,  sonorous  voice  from  the 
opposite  side  of  the  cabin,  while  at  the  same  instant  a  tall, 
green-silk  nightcap,  surmounting  a  very  aristocratic-look- 
ing forehead,  appeared  between  the  curtains  of  the  opposite 
berth. 

"  Steward  Moore ! "  said  the  lady  again,  with  her  eyes 
straining  in  the  direction  of  the  door  by  which  she  expected 
him  to  enter. 

"This  is  most  strange,"  muttered  the  baronet,  half  aloud. 
"Why,  madam,  you  are  calling  me?" 

"And  if  I  am,"  said  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  "and  if  ye  heerd 
me,  have  ye  no  manners  to  answer  your  name,  eh?  Are  ye 
Steward  Moore?" 

"  Upon  my  life,  ma'am,  I  thought  so  last  night  when  1 
came  on  board.  But  you  really  have  contrived  to  make  me 
doubt  my  own  identity." 

"And  is  it  there  ye 're  lying  on  the  broad  of  yer  back, 
and  me  as  sick  as  a  dog  foment  ye?  " 

"I  concede,  ma'am,  the  fact;  the  position  is  a  most  irk- 
some one  on  every  account." 

"Then  why  don't  ye  come  over  to  me  ? "  And  this  Mrs. 
Mulrooney  said  with  a  voice  of  something  like  tenderness, 
—  wishing  at  all  hazards  to  conciliate  so  important  a 
functionary. 

"  Why,  really,  you  are  the  most  incomprehensible  person 
I  ever  met." 


108 


HARRY   LORREQUER. 


"I'm  what?"  said  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  her  blood  rushing 
to  her  face  and  temples  as  she  spoke,  — for  the  same  reason 
that  her  fair  towns  woman  is  reported  to  have  borne  with 
stoical  fortitude  every  harsh  epithet  of  the  language,  until 
it  occurred  to  her  opponent  to  tell  her  that  "  the  divil  a  bit 
better  she  was  nor  a  pronoun ;  "  so  Mrs,  Mulrooney,  taking 
omne  ignotum  pro  horribile,  became  perfectly  beside  herself 
at  the  unlucky  phrase.    "I  'm  what?    Ilepate  it,  av  ye  dare, 


V 


>w  %  :rM^M  wis* 


and  I'll  tear  yer  eyes  out!  Ye  dirty  bla — guard,  to  be 
lying  there  at  yer  ease  under  the  blankets,  grinning  at  me. 
What 's  your  thrade  —  answer  me  that  —  av  it  is  n't  to  wait 
on  the  ladies,  eh?  " 

"Oh!  the  woman  must  be  mad,"  said  Sir  Stewart. 

"The  devil  a  taste  mad,  my  dear,  I  'm  only  sick.  Now 
just  come  over  to  me  like  a  decent  creature,  and  give  me 
the  dhrop  of  comfort  ye  have.     Come,  avick." 

"Go  over  to  you?" 


THE  ROAD.  109 

"Ay,  and  why  not?  Or,  if  it 's  so  lazy  ye  are,  why  then 
I  '11  thry  and  cross  over  to  your  side." 

These  words  being  accompanied  by  a  certain  indication 
of  change  of  residence  on  the  part  of  Mrs.  Mulrooney,  Sir 
Stewart  perceived  there  was  no  time  to  lose ;  and  springing 
from  his  berth,  he  rushed  half-dressed  through  the  cabin 
and  up  the  companion-ladder,  just  as  Mrs.  Mulrooney  had 
protruded  a  pair  of  enormous  legs  from  her  couch,  and  hung 
for  a  moment  pendulous  before  she  dropped  upon  the  floor 
and  followed  him  to  the  deck.  A  tremendous  shout  of 
laughter  from  the  sailors  and  deck-passengers  prevented 
my  hearing  the  dialogue  which  ensued ;  nor  do  I  yet  know 
how  Mrs.  Mulrooney  learned  her  mistake.  Certain  it  is, 
she  no  more  appeared  amongst  the  passengers  in  the  cabin, 
and  Sir  Stewart's  manner  the  following  morning  at  break- 
fast amply  satisfied  me  that  I  had  had  my  revenge. 


CHAPTER  X. 

UPSET.  MIND    AND    BODY. 

No  sooner  in  Liverpool,  than  I  hastened  to  take  my 
place  in  the  earliest  conveyance  for  London.  At  that  time 
the  Umpire  coach  was  the  perfection  of  fast  travelling; 
and  seated  behind  the  box,  enveloped  in  a  sufficiency  of 
broadcloth,  I  turned  my  face  towards  town  with  as  much 
anxiety  and  as  ardent  expectations  as  most  of  those  about 
me.  All  went  on  in  the  regular  monotonous  routine  of  such 
matters  until  we  reached  Northampton,  passing  down  the 
steep  street  of  which  town,  the  near  wheel-horse  stumbled 
and  fell;  the  coach,  after  a  tremendous  roll  to  one  side, 
toppled  over  on  the  other,  and  with  a  tremendous  crash  and 
sudden  shock,  sent  all  the  outsides,  myself  among  the 
number,  flying  through  the  air  like  sea-gulls.  As  for  me, 
after  describing  a  very  respectable  parabola,  my  angle  of 
incidence  landed  me  in  a  bonnet-maker's  shop,  having 
passed  through  a  large  plate-glass  window  and  destroyed 
more  leghorns  and  dunstables  than  a  year's  pay  would 
recompense.  I  have  but  slight  recollection  of  the  details 
of  that  occasion  until  I  found  myself  lying  in  a  very  spa- 
cious bed  at  the  George  Inn,  having  been  bled  in  both  arms, 
and  discovering,  by  the  multitude  of  bandages  in  which  I 
was  enveloped,  that  at  least  some  of  my  bones  were  broken 
by  the  fall.  That  such  fate  had  befallen  my  collar-bone 
and  three  of  my  ribs,  I  soon  learned ;  and  was  horror-struck 
at  hearing  from  the  surgeon  who  attended  me  that  four  or 
five  weeks  would  be  the  very  earliest  period  I  could  bear 
removal  with  safety.  Here  then  at  once  there  was  a  large 
deduction  from  my  six  months'  leave,  not  to  think  of  the 
misery  that  awaited  me  for  such  a  time,  confined  to  my  bed 
in  an  inn  without  books,  friends,  or  acquaintances.     How- 


UPSET.  Ill 

ever,  even  this  could  be  remedied  by  patience,  and  sum- 
moning up  all  I  could  command,  I  "  bided  my  time ; "  but 
not  before  I  had  completed  a  term  of  two  months'  imprison- 
ment, and  had  become,  from  actual  starvation,  something 
very  like  a  living  transparency. 

No  sooner,  however,  did  I  feel  myself  once  more  on  the 
road,  than  my  spirits  rose,  and  I  felt  myself  as  full  of  high 
hope  and  buoyant  expectancy  as  ever.  It  was  late  at  night 
when  I  arrived  in  London.  I  drove  to  a  quiet  hotel  in  the 
West  End,  and  the  following  morning  proceeded  to  Port- 
man  Square,  bursting  with  impatience  to  see  my  friends 
the  Callonbys  and  recount  all  my  adventures,  —  for  as  I 
was  too  ill  to  write  from  Northampton,  and  did  not  wish 
to  intrust  to  a  stranger  the  office  of  communicating  with 
them,  I  judged  that  they  must  be  exceedingly  uneasy  on  my 
account,  and  pictured  to  myself  the  thousand  emotions  my 
appearance,  so  indicative  of  illness,  would  give  rise  to,  and 
could  scarcely  avoid  running,  in  my  impatience  to  be  once 
more  among  them.  How  Lady  Jane  would  meet  me,  I 
thought  of  over  again  and  again;  whether  the  same  cau- 
tious reserve  awaited  me,  or  whether  her  family's  approval 
would  have  wrought  a  change  in  her  reception  of  me,  I 
burned  to  ascertain.  As  my  thoughts  ran  on  in  this  way, 
I  found  myself  at  the  door,  but  was  much  alarmed  to  per- 
ceive that  the  closed  window-shutters  and  dismantled  look 
of  the  house  proclaimed  them  from  home.  I  rang  the  bell, 
and  soon  learned  from  a  servant,  whose  face  I  had  not  seen 
before,  that  the  family  had  gone  to  Paris  about  a  month 
before,  with  the  intention  of  spending  the  winter  there.  I 
need  not  say  how  grievously  this  piece  of  intelligence  dis- 
appointed me,  and  for  a  minute  or  two  I  could  not  collect 
my  thoughts.     At  last  the  servant  said,  — 

"  If  you  have  anything  very  particular,  sir,  that  my  lord's 
lawyer  can  do,  I  can  give  you  his  address." 

"  No,  thank  you,  nothing ;  "  at  the  same  time  I  muttered 
to  myself,  "I'll  have  some  occupation  for  him,  though, 
ere  long.  The  family  were  all  quite  well,  did  n't  you 
say?" 


112  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Yes,  sir,  perfectly  well.  My  lord  had  only  a  slight 
cold." 

"Ah,  yes!     And  their  address  is  Meurice?     Very  well." 

So  saying,  I  turned  from  the  door,  and  with  slower  steps 
than  I  had  come,  returned  to  my  hotel. 

My  immediate  resolve  was  to  set  out  for  Paris ;  my  second 
was  to  visit  my  uncle,  Sir  Guy  Lorrequer,  first,  and  hav- 
ing explained  to  him  the  nature  of  my  position  and  the 
advantageous  prospects  before  me,  endeavor  to  induce  him 
to  make  some  settlement  on  Lady  Jane,  in  the  event  of  my 
obtaining  her  family's  consent  to  our  marriage.  This,  from 
his  liking  great  people  much,  and  laying  great  stress  upon 
the  advantages  of  connection,  I  looked  upon  as  a  matter  of 
no  great  difficulty ;  so  that  although  my  hopes  of  happiness 
were  delayed  in  their  fulfilment,  I  believed  they  were  only 
to  be  the  more  securely  realized.  The  same  day  I  set  out 
for  Elton,  and  by  ten  o'clock  at  night  reached  my  uncle's 
house.  I  found  the  old  gentleman  just  as  I  had  left  him 
three  years  before,  —  complaining  a  little  of  gout  in  the 
left  foot;  praising  his  old  specific,  port  wine;  abusing  his 
servants  for  robbing  him ;  and  drinking  the  Duke  of  Wel- 
lington's health  every  night  after  supper,  — which  meal  I 
had  much  pleasure  in  surprising  him  at  on  my  arrival,  not 
having  eaten  since  my  departure  from  London. 

"Well,  Harry,"  said  my  uncle,  when  the  servants  had  left 
the  room  and  we  drew  over  the  spider-table  to  the  fire  to 
discuss  our  wine  with  comfort,  "what  good  wind  has  blown 
you  down  to  me,  my  boy?  For  it 's  odd  enough,  five  min- 
utes before  I  heard  the  wheels  on  the  gravel,  I  was  just 
wishing  some  good  fellow  would  join  me  at  the  grouse  — 
and  you  see  I  have  had  my  wish!  The  old  story,  I  sup- 
pose, 'out  of  cash.'  Would  not  come  down  here  for 
nothing,  eh?     Come,  lad,  tell  truth,  — is  it  not  so?" 

"Why,  not  exactly,  sir;  but  I  really  had  rather  at  pres- 
ent talk  about  you  than  about  my  own  matters,  which  we 
can  chat  over  to-morrow.  How  do  you  get  on,  sir,  with 
the  Scotch  steward?  " 

"He  's  a  rogue,  sir,  — a  cheat,  a  scoundrel;  but  it  is  the 


UPSET.  113 

same  with  them  all.  And  your  cousin,  Harry,  —  your 
cousin,  that  I  have  reared  from  his  infancy  to  be  my  heir 
[pleasant  topic  for  me !],  —  he  cares  no  more  for  me  than  the 
rest  of  them,  and  would  never  come  near  me  if  it  were  not 
that,  like  yourself,  he  was  hard  run  for  money,  and  wanted 
to  wheedle  me  out  of  a  hundred  or  two." 

"  But  you  forget,  sir,  I  told  you  I  have  not  come  with  such 
an  object." 

"We  '11  see  that,  we  '11  see  that  in  the  morning,"  replied 
he,  with  an  incredulous  shake  of  the  head. 

•'But  Guy,  sir,  what  has  Guy  done?" 

"What  has  he  not  done?  No  sooner  did  he  join  that 
popinjay  set  of  fellows,  the  — th  Hussars,  than  he  turned 
out  what  he  calls  a  four-in-hand  drag,  which  dragged  nine 
hundred  pounds  out  of  my  pocket.  Then  he  has  got  a 
yacht  at  Cowes,  a  grouse  mountain  in  Scotland,  and  has 
actually  given  Tattersall  an  unlimited  order  to  purchase 
the  Wreckington  pack  of  harriers,  which  he  intends  to  keep 
for  the  use  of  the  corps.  In  a  word,  there  is  not  an  amuse- 
ment of  that  villanous  regiment,  not  a  flask  of  champagne 
drunk  at  their  mess,  I  don't  bear  my  share  in  the  cost  of, 
—  all  through  the  kind  offices  of  your  worthy  cousin,  Guy 
Lorrequer." 

This  was  an  exceedingly  pleasant  expose,  for  me  to  hear  of 
my  cousin  indulged  in  every  excess  of  foolish  extravagance 
by  his  rich  uncle,  while  I,  the  son  of  an  elder  brother,  who 
unfortunately  called  me  by  his  own  name,  Harry,  remained 
the  sub  in  a  marching  regiment,  with  not  three  hundred 
pounds  a  year  above  my  pay,  and  whom  any  extravagance, 
if  such  had  been  proved  against  me,  would  have  deprived 
of  even  that  small  allowance.  My  uncle,  however,  did  not 
notice  the  chagrin  with  which  I  heard  his  narrative,  but 
continued  to  detail  various  instances  of  wild  and  reckless 
expense  the  future  possessor  of  his  ample  property  had 
already  launched  into. 

Anxious  to  say  something,  without  well  knowing  what,  I 
hinted  that  probably  my  good  cousin  would  reform  some  of 
these  days,  and  marry. 
vol.  i. — 8 


114  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Marry!  "  said  my  uncle;  "yes,  that  I  believe  is  the  best 
thing  we  can  do  with  him;  and  I  hope  now  the  matter  is  in 
good  train,  — so  the  latest  accounts  say,  at  least." 

"  Ah,  indeed ! "  said  I,  endeavoring  to  take  an  interest 
where  I  really  felt  none,  for  my  cousin  and  I  had  never 
been  very  intimate  friends,  and  the  difference  in  our  for- 
tunes had  not,  at  least  to  my  thinking,  been  compensated 
by  any  advances  which  he,  under  the  circumstances,  might 
have  made  to  me. 

"  Why,  Harry,  did  you  not  hear  of  it?  "  said  my  uncle. 

"No,  not  a  word,  sir." 

"  Very  strange,  indeed,  —  a  great  match,  Harry ;  a  very 
great  match  indeed." 

"Some  rich  banker's  daughter,"  thought  I.  "What  will 
he  say  when  he  hears  of  my  fortune?  " 

"  A  very  fine  young  woman  too,  I  understand,  —  quite 
the  belle  of  London,  —  and  a  splendid  property  left  by  an 
aunt." 

I  was  bursting  to  tell  him  of  my  affair,  and  that  he  had 
another  nephew  to  whom,  if  common  justice  were  rendered, 
his  fortune  was  as  certainly  made  for  life. 

"Gu3r's  business  happened  this  way,"  continued  my 
uncle,  who  was  quite  engrossed  by  the  thought  of  his 
favorite's  success.  "The  father  of  the  young  lady  met 
him  in  Ireland,  or  Scotland,  or  some  such  place,  where  he 
was  with  his  regiment,  was  greatly  struck  with  his  manner 
and  address,  found  him  out  to  be  my  nephew,  asked  him  to 
his  house,  and,  in  fact,  almost  threw  this  lovely  girl  at  his 
head  before  they  were  two  months  acquainted." 

"As  nearly  as  possible  my  own  adventure,"  thought  I, 
laughing  to  myself. 

"But  you  have  not  told  me  who  they  are,  sir,"  said  I, 
dying  to  have  his  story  finished,  and  to  begin  mine. 

"I'm  coming  to  that,  I'm  coming  to  that.  Guy  came 
down  here,  but  did  not  tell  me  one  word  of  his  having  ever 
met  the  family,  but  begged  of  me  to  give  him  an  introduc- 
tion to  them,  as  they  were  in  Paris,  where  he  was  going  on 
a  short  leave ;  and  the  first  thing  I  heard  of  the  matter  was 


UPSET.  115 

by  a  letter  from  the  papa  demanding  from  me  if  Guy  was 
to  be  my  heir,  and  asking  '  how  far  his  attentions  in  his 
family  met  with  my  approval. '  " 

"  Then  how  did  you  know,  sir,  that  they  were  previously 
known  to  each  other?  " 

"The  family  lawyer  told  me,  who  heard  it  all  talked 
over." 

"  And  why,  then,  did  Guy  get  the  letter  of  introduction 
from  you,  when  he  was  already  acquainted  with  them?  " 

"  I  am  sure  I  cannot  tell,  except  that  you  know  he  always 
does  everything  unlike  every  one  else;  and,  to  be  sure,  the 
letter  seems  to  have  excited  some  amusement.  I  must  show 
you  his  answer  to  my  first  note  to  know  how  all  was  going 
on,  —  for  I  felt  very  anxious  about  matters,  —  when  I  heard 
from  some  person  who  had  met  them  that  Guy  was  ever- 
lastingly in  the  house,  and  that  Lord  Callonby  could  not 
live  without  him." 

"Lord  who,  sir?"  said  I,  in  a  voice  that  made  the  old 
man  upset  his  glass  and  spring  from  his  chair  in  horror. 

"What  the  devil  is  the  matter  with  the  boy?  What 
makes  you  so  pale?" 

"Whose  name  did  you  say  at  that  moment,  sir?"  said  I, 
with  a  slowness  of  speech  that  cost  me  agony. 

"Lord  Callonby,  my  old  schoolfellow  and  fag  at  Eton." 

"And  the  lady's  name,  sir?"  said  I,  in  scarcely  an  audi- 
ble whisper. 

"  I  'm  sure  I  forget  her  name ;  but  here  's  the  letter  from 
Guy,  and  I  think  he  mentions  her  name  in  the  postscript." 

I  snatched  rudely  the  half-opened  letter  from  the  old 
man,  as  he  was  vainly  endeavoring  to  detect  the  place  he 
wanted,  and  read  as  follows :  — 

"  My  adored  Jane  is  all  your  fondest  wishes  for  my  happiness 
could  picture,  and  longs  to  see  her  dear  uncle,  as  she  already  calls 
you  on  every  occasion." 

I  read  no  more ;  my  eyes  swam,  the  paper,  the  candles, 
everything  before  me  was  misty  and  confused ;  and  although 
I  heard  my  uncle's  voice  still  going  on,  I  knew  nothing  of 
what  he  said. 


116  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

For  some  time  my  mind  could  not  take  in  the  full  extent 
of  the  base  treachery  I  had  met  with,  and  I  sat  speechless 
and  stupefied.  By  degrees  my  faculties  became  clearer, 
and  with  one  glance  I  read  the  whole  business,  from  my 
first  meeting  with  them  at  Kilrush  to  the  present  moment. 
I  saw  that  in  their  attentions  to  me  they  thought  they  were 
winning  the  heir  of  Elton,  the  future  proprietor  of  fifteen 
thousand  per  annum.  From  this  tangled  web  of  heartless 
intrigue  1  turned  my  thoughts  to  Lady  Jane  herself.  How 
had  she  betrayed  me?  for  certainly  she  had  not  only  re- 
ceived, but  encouraged  my  addresses,  —  and  so  soon  too ! 
To  think  that  at  the  very  moment  when  my  own  precipitate 
haste  to  see  her  had  involved  me  in  a  nearly  fatal  accident, 
she  was  actually  receiving  the  attentions  of  another!  Oh, 
it  was  too,  too  bad ! 

But  enough;  even  now  I  can  scarcely  dwell  upon  the 
memory  of  that  moment,  when  the  hopes  and  dreams  of 
many  a  long  day  and  night  were  destined  to  be  thus  rudely 
blighted.  I  seized  the  first  opportunity  of  bidding  my 
uncle  good-night;  and  having  promised  him  to  reveal  all 
my  plans  on  the  morrow,  hurried  to  my  room. 

My  plans  —  alas,  I  had  none !  That  one  fatal  paragraph 
had  scattered  them  to  the  winds;  and  I  threw  myself  upon 
my  bed,  wretched  and  almost  heart-broken. 

I  have  once  before  in  these  "  Confessions  "  claimed  to 
myself  the  privilege,  not  inconsistent  with  a  full  disclosure 
of  the  memorabilia  of  my  life,  to  pass  slightly  over  those 
passages,  the  burden  of  which  was  unhappy,  and  whose 
memory  is  still  painful.  I  must  now,  therefore,  claim  the 
"benefit  of  this  act,"  and  beg  of  the  reader  to  let  me  pass 
from  this  sad  portion  of  my  history;  and  for  the  full 
expression  of  my  mingled  rage,  contempt,  disappointment, 
and  sorrow,  let  me  beg  of  him  to  receive  instead  what  a 
learned  pope  once  gave  as  his  apology  for  not  reading  a 
rather  polysyllabic  word  in  a  Latin  letter,  — "As  for  this," 
said  he,  looking  at  the  phrase  in  question,  "suppose  it 
said."     So  say  I.     And  now,  en  route. 


CHAPTER  XI. 

CHELTENHAM.  — MATRIMONIAL    ADVENTURE,    SHOWING    HOW 
TO    MAKE    LOVE    FOR    A    FRIEND. 

It  was  a  cold,  raw  evening  in  February  as  I  sat  in  the 
coffee-room  of  the  Old  Plough,  in  Cheltenham,  Lucullus  c. 
Lucullo,  —  no  companion  save  my  half-finished  decanter  of 
port.  I  had  drawn  my  chair  to  the  corner  of  the  ample 
fireplace,  and  in  a  half-dreamy  state  was  reviewing  the 
incidents  of  my  early  life,  like  most  men  who,  how- 
ever young,  have  still  to  lament  talents  misapplied,  oppor- 
tunities neglected,  profitless  labor,  and  disastrous  idleness. 
The  dreary  aspect  of  the  large  and  ill-lighted  room,  the 
close-curtained  boxes,  the  unsocial  look  of  ever}^  thing  and 
body  about,  suited  the  habit  of  my  soul,  and  I  was  on  the 
verge  of  becoming  excessively  sentimental;  the  unbroken 
silence,  where  several  people  were  present,  had  also  its 
effect  upon  me,  and  I  felt  oppressed  and  dejected.  So  sat 
I  for  an  hour ;  the  clock  over  the  mantel  ticked  sharply  on, 
the  old  man  in  the  brown  surtout  had  turned  in  his  chair, 
and  now  snored  louder,  the  gentleman  who  read  the 
"Times"  had  got  the  "Chronicle,"  and  I  thought  I  saw 
him  nodding  over  the  advertisements.  The  father  who, 
with  a  raw  son  of  about  nineteen,  had  dined  at  six,  sat  still 
and  motionless  opposite  his  offspring,  and  only  breaking 
the  silence  around  by  the  grating  of  the  decanter  as  he 
posted  it  across  the  table.  The  only  thing  denoting  active 
existence  was  a  little  shrivelled  man,  who,  with  spectacles 
on  his  forehead  and  hotel  slippers  on  his  feet,  rapidly 
walked  up  and  down,  occasionally  stopping  at  his  table  to 
sip  a  little  weak-looking  negus,  which  was  his  moderate 
potation  for  two  hours.     I  have  been  particular  in  chroni- 


118  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

cling  these  few  and  apparently  trivial  circumstances,  for 
by  what  mere  trifles  are  our  greatest  and  most  important 
movements  induced!  Had  the  near  wheeler  of  the  Umpire 
been  only  safe  on  his  forelegs  and  —  But  let  me  continue. 
The  gloom  and  melancholy  which  beset  me,  momentarily 
increased.  But  three  months  before,  and  my  prospects 
presented  everything  that  was  fairest  and  brightest,  —  now 
all  the  future  was  dark  and  dismal.  Then,  my  best  friends 
could  scarcely  avoid  envy  at  my  fortune,  — now,  my  reverses 
might  almost  excite  compassion  even  in  an  enemy.  It  was 
singular  enough  —  and  1  should  not  like  to  acknowledge  it, 
were  not  these  "Confessions  "  in  their  very  nature  intended 
to  disclose  the  very  penetralia  of  my  heart  —  but  singular 
it  certainly  was  —  and  so  I  have  always  felt  it  since,  when 
reflecting  on  it  —  that  although  much  and  warmly  attached 
to  Lady  Jane  Callonby,  and  feeling  most  acutely  what  I 
must  call  her  abandonment  of  me,  yet  the  most  constantly 
recurring  idea  of  my  mind  on  the  subject  was,  What  will 
the  mess  say?  What  will  they  think  at  headquarters? 
The  raillery,  the  jesting,  the  half-concealed  allusion,  the 
tone  of  assumed  compassion,  which  all  awaited  me,  as  each 
of  my  comrades  took  up  his  line  of  behaving  towards  me, 
was,  after  all,  the  most  difficult  thing  to  be  borne,  and  I 
absolutely  dreaded  to  join  my  regiment  more  thoroughly 
than  did  ever  schoolboy  to  return  to  his  labor  on  the  expira- 
tion of  his  holidays.  I  had  framed  to  myself  all  manner  of 
ways  of  avoiding  this  dread  event.  Sometimes  I  meditated 
an  exchange  into  an  African  corps ;  sometimes  to  leave  the 
army  altogether.  However  1  turned  the  affair  over  in  my 
mind,  innumerable  difficulties  presented  themselves;  and  I 
was  at  last  reduced  to  that  stand-still  point  in  which,  after 
continual  vacillation,  one  only  waits  for  the  slightest  im- 
pulse of  persuasion  from  another  to  adopt  any,  no  matter 
what,  suggestion.  In  this  enviable  frame  of  mind  1  sat 
sipping  my  wine  and  watching  the  clock  for  that  hour  at 
which,  with  a  safe  conscience,  I  might  retire  to  my  bed, 
when  the  waiter  roused  me  by  demanding  if  my  name  was 
Mr.  Lorrequer,  for  that  a  gentleman  having  seen  my  card  in 


CHELTENHAM.  119 

the  bar,  had  been  making  inquiry  for  the  owner  of  it  all 
through  the  hotel. 

"  Yes,"  said  I,  " such  is  my  name;  but  I  am  not  acquainted 
with  any  one  here,  that  I  can  remember." 

"The  gentleman  has  only  arrived  an  hour  since  by  the 
London  mail,  sir,  and  here  he  is." 

At  this  moment  a  tall,  dashing-looking,  half -swaggering 
fellow,  in  a  very  sufficient  envelope  of  box-coats,  entered 
the  coffee-room,  and  unwinding  a  shawl  from  his  throat, 
showed  me  the  honest  and  manly  countenance  of  my  friend 
Jack  Waller,  of  the  — th  Dragoons,  with  whom  I  had  served 
in  the  Peninsula. 

Five  minutes  sufficed  for  Jack  to  tell  me  that  he  was 
come  down  on  a  bold  speculation  at  this  unreasonable  time 
for  Cheltenham;  that  he  was  quite  sure  his  fortune  was 
about  to  be  made  in  a  few  weeks  at  farthest;  and  —  which 
seemed  nearly  as  engrossing  a  topic  —  that  he  was  perfectly 
famished,  and  desired  a  hot  supper  de  suite. 

Jack,  having  despatched  this  agreeable  meal  with  a 
traveller's  appetite,  proceeded  to  unfold  his  plans  to  me 
as  follows :  — 

There  resided  somewhere  near  Cheltenham,  in  what  direc- 
tion he  did  not  absolutely  know,  an  old  East  India  colonel 
who  had  returned  from  a  long  career  of  successful  staff 
duties  and  government  contracts  with  the  moderate  fortune 
of  two  hundred  thousand.  He  possessed,  in  addition,  a 
son  and  a  daughter :  the  former,  being  a  rake  and  a  gambler, 
he  had  long  since  consigned  to  his  own  devices;  and  to  the 
latter  he  had  avowed  his  intention  of  leaving  all  his  wealth. 
That  she  was  beautiful  as  an  angel,  highly  accomplished, 
gifted,  agreeable,  and  all  that,  Jack,  who  had  never  seen 
her,  was  firmly  convinced;  that  she  was  also  bent  resolutely 
on  marrying  him,  or  any  other  gentleman  whose  claims 
were  principally  the  want  of  money,  he  was  quite  ready  to 
swear  to,  —  and,  in  fact,  so  assured  did  he  feel  that  "  the 
whole  affair  was  feasible  "  (I  use  his  own  expression)  that 
he  had  managed  a  two  months'  leave,  and  was  come  down 
express  to  see,  make  love  to,  and  carry  her  off  at  once. 


120  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

"But,"  said  T,  with  difficulty  interrupting  him,  "how 
long  have  you  known  her  father?" 

"Known  him?     I  never  saw  him." 

"  Well,  that  certainly  is  cool.  And  how  do  you  propose 
making  his  acquaintance?  Do  you  intend  to  make  him  a 
particeps  criminis  in  the  elopement  of  his  own  daughter, 
for  a  consideration  to  be  hereafter  paid  out  of  his  own 
money?" 

"Now,  Harry,  you've  touched  upon  the  point  in  which, 
you  must  confess,  my  genius  always  stood  unrivalled. 
Acknowledge,  if  you  are  not  dead  to  gratitude,  acknowl- 
edge how  often  should  you  have  gone  supperless  to  bed  in 
our  bivouacs  in  the  Peninsula,  had  it  not  been  for  the 
ingenuity  of  your  humble  servant;  avow  that  if  mutton 
was  to  be  had  and  beef  to  be  purloined  within  a  circuit  of 
twenty  miles  round,  our  mess  certainly  kept  no  fast-days. 
I  need  not  remind  you  of  the  cold  morning  on  the  retreat 
from  Burgos,  when  the  inexorable  Lake  brought  five  men  to 
the  halberds  for  stealing  turkeys,  that  at  the  same  moment 
I  was  engaged  in  devising  an  ox-tail  soup  from  a  heifer 
brought  to  our  tent  in  jack-boots  the  evening  before,  to 
escape  detection  by  her  foot-tracks." 

"True,  Jack,  I  never  questioned  your  Spartan  talent;  but 
this  affair,  time  considered,  does  appear  rather  difficult." 

"And  if  it  were  not,  should  I  have  ever  engaged  in  it? 
No,  no,  Harry.  I  put  all  proper  value  upon  the  pretty 
girl,  with  her  two  hundred  thousand  pounds  pin-money; 
but  I  honestly  own  to  you,  the  intrigue,  the  scheme,  has 
as  great  charm  for  me  as  any  part  of  the  transaction." 

"Well,  Jack,  now  for  the  plan,  then!  " 

"The  plan?  —  oh,  the  plan!  Why,  I  have  several;  but 
since  I  have  seen  you,  and  talked  the  matter  over  with 
you,  I  have  begun  to  think  of  a  new  mode  of  opening  the 
trenches." 

"  Why,  I  don't  see  how  I  can  possibly  have  admitted  a 
single  new  ray  of  light  upon  the  affair." 

"There  you  are  quite  wrong.  Just  hear  me  out,  without 
interruption,  and  I  '11  explain,     i  '11  first  discover  the  locale 


CHELTENHAM.  121 

of  this  worthy  Colonel,  — '  Hydrabad  Cottage  '  he  calls  it; 
good,  eh?  Then  I  shall  proceed  to  make  a  tour  of  the 
immediate  vicinity,  and  either  he  taken  dangerously  ill  in 
his  grounds,  within  ten  yards  of  the  hall-door,  or  be  thrown 
from  my  gig  at  the  gate  of  his  avenue  and  fracture  my 
skull,  — I  don't  much  care  which.  Well,  then,  as  I  learn 
the  old  gentleman  is  the  most  kind,  hospitable  fellow  in 
the  world,  he  '11  admit  me  at  once,  his  daughter  will  tend 
my  sick  couch,  nurse,  read  to  me.  Glorious  fun,  Harry! 
I  '11  make  fierce  love  to  her.  And  now,  the  only  point  to 
be  decided  is  whether,  having  partaken  of  the  Colonel's 
hospitality  so  freely,  I  ought  to  carry  her  off  or  marry  her 
with  papa's  consent.  You  see  there  is  much  to  be  said  for 
either  line  of  proceeding." 

"I  certainly  agree  with  you  there;  but  since  you  seem  to 
see  your  way  so  clearly  up  to  that  point,  why,  I  should 
advise  you  leaving  that  an  '  open  question,'  as  the  ministers 
say  when  they  are  hard  pressed  for  an  opinion." 

"Well,  Harry,  I  consent;  it  shall  remain  so.  Now  for 
your  part,  for  I  have  now  come  to  that." 

"Mine!"  said  I,  in  amazement;  "why,  how  can  I  possi- 
bly have  any  character  assigned  me  in  the  drama?  " 

"  I  '11  tell  you,  Harry,  —  you  shall  come  with  me  in  the 
gig  in  the  capacity  of  my  valet." 

"Your  what?"  said  I,  horror-struck  at  his  impudence. 

"Come,  no  nonsense,  Harry;  you  '11  have  a  glorious  time 
of  it,  — shall  choose  as  becoming  a  livery  as  you  like;  and 
you  '11  have  the  whole  female  world  below  stairs  dying  for 
you.  And  all  I  ask  for  such  an  opportunity  vouchsafed  to 
you  is  to  puff  me,  your  master,  in  every  possible  shape  and 
form,  and  represent  me  as  the  finest  and  most  liberal  fellow 
in  the  world,  rolling  in  wealth,  and  only  striving  to  get 
rid  of  it." 

The  unparalleled  effrontery  of  Master  Jack  in  assigning 
to  me  such  an  office  absolutely  left  me  unable  to  reply  to 
him;  while  he  continued  to  expatiate  upon  the  great  field 
for  exertion  thus  open  to  us  both.  At  last  it  occurred  to 
me  to  benefit  by  an  anecdote  of  a  something  similar  arrange- 


122  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

ment,  of  capturing,  not  a  young  lad}',  but  a  fortified  town, 
by  retorting  .lack's  proposition. 

"Come,"  said  I,  "I  agree,  witb  one  only  difference, — 
I  '11  be  the  master,  and  you  the  man  on  this  occasion." 

To  my  utter  confusion,  and  without  a  second's  consider- 
ation, Waller  grasped  my  hand,  and  cried,  "Done!"  Of 
course  I  laughed  heartily  at  the  utter  absurdity  of  the  whole 
scheme,  and  rallied  my  friend  on  his  prospects  of  Botany 
Bay  for  such  an  exploit,  never  contemplating  in  the  most 
remote  degree  the  commission  of  such  extravagance. 

Upon  this,  Jack,  to  use  the  expressive  French  phrase, 
pr'it  la  parole  ;  touching,  with  a  master-like  delicacy,  on  my 
late  defeat  among  the  Callonbys  (which  up  to  this  instant 
I  believed  him  in  ignorance  of),  he  expatiated  upon  the 
prospect  of  my  repairing  that  misfortune  and  obtaining  a 
fortune  considerably  larger.  He  cautiously  abstained  from 
mentioning  the  personal  charms  of  the  young  lady,  suppos- 
ing, from  my  lachrymose  look,  that  my  heart  had  not  yet 
recovered  the  shock  of  Lady  Jane's  perfidy,  and  rather  pre- 
ferred to  dwell  upon  the  escape  such  a.  marriage  would  open 
to  me  from  the  mockery  of  the  mess-table,  the  jesting  of 
my  brother  officers,  and  the  life-long  raillery  of  the  service, 
wherever  the  story  reached. 

The  fatal  facility  of  my  disposition,  so  often  and  so 
frankly  chronicled  in  these  "Confessions;"  the  openness 
to  be  led  whither  any  one  might  take  the  trouble  to  con- 
duct me;  the  easy  indifference  to  assume  any  character 
which  might  be  pressed  upon  me  by  chance,  accident,  or 
design,  assisted  by  my  share  cf  three  flasks  of  champagne, 
—  induced  me  first  to  listen,  then  to  attend  to,  soon  after 
to  suggest,  and  finally,  absolutely  to  concur  in  and  agree  to 
a  proposal  which,  at  any  other  moment,  I  must  have  re- 
garded as  downright  insanity.  As  the  clock  struck  two,  I 
had  just  affixed  my  name  to  an  agreement;  for  Jack  Waller 
had  so  much  of  method  in  his  madness  that,  fearful  of  my 
retracting  in  the  morning,  he  had  committed  the  whole  to 
writing,  which,  as  a  specimen  of  Jack's  legal  talents,  I 
copy  from  the  original  document,  now  in  my  possession. 


CHELTENHAM.  123 

The  Plough,  Cheltenham, 
Tuesday  night  or  morning,  two  o'clock  —  be  the  same  more  or  less. 

I,  Harry  Lorrequer,  sub  in  his  Majesty's  —  th  Regiment  of  Foot, 
on  the  one  part,  and  I,  John  Waller,  commonly  called  Jack  Waller, 
of  the  — th  Light  Dragoons,  on  the  other,  hereby  promise  and  agree, 
each  for  himself,  and  not  one  for  the  other,  to  the  following  condi- 
tions, which  are  hereafter  subjoined,  to  wit,  I  the  aforesaid  Jack 
Waller  is  to  serve,  obey,  and  humbly  follow  the  afore-mentioned 
Harry  Lorrequer  for  the  space  of  one  month  of  four  weeks,  conduct- 
ing himself  in  all  respects,  modes,  ways,  manners  as  his,  the  afore- 
said, Lorrequer's  own  man,  skip,  valet,  or  flunkey,  duly  praising, 
puffing,  and  lauding  the  aforesaid  Lorrequer,  and  in  every  way 
facilitating  his  success  to  the  hand  and  fortune  of  — 

"Shall  we  put  in  her  name,  Harry,  here?"  said  Jack. 
"I  think  not;  we  '11  fill  it  up  in  pencil;  that  looks  very 
knowing." 

At  the  end  of  which  period,  if  successful  in  his  suit,  the  afore- 
said Harry  Lorrequer  is  to  render  to  the  aforesaid  Waller  the  sum  of 
ten  thousand  pounds  three  and  a  half  per  cent,  with  a  faithful  dis- 
charge in  writing  for  his  services,  as  may  be.  If,  on  the  other  hand, 
and  which  Heaven  forbid  !  the  aforesaid  Lorrequer  fail  in  obtaining 

the  hand  of ,  that  he  will  evacuate  the  territory  within  twelve 

hours,  and  repairing  to  a  convenient  spot  selected  by  the  aforesaid 
Waller,  then  and  there  duly  invest  himself  with  a  livery  chosen  by 
the  aforesaid  Waller  — 

"You  know,  each  man  uses  his  choice  in  this  particular," 
said  Jack. 

—  and  for  the  space  of  four  calendar  weeks  be  unto  the  aforesaid 
Waller  as  his  skip,  or  valet,  receiving,  in  the  event  of  success,  the 
like  compensation  as  aforesaid,  each  promising  strictly  to  maintain 
the  terms  of  this  agreement,  and  binding,  by  a  solemn  pledge,  to 
divest  himself  of  every  right  appertaining  to  his  former  condition 
for  the  space  of  time  there  mentioned. 

We  signed  and  sealed  it  formally,  and  finished  another 
flask  to  its  perfect  ratification.  This  done,  and  after  a 
hearty  shake-hands,  we  parted  and  retired  for  the  night. 

The  first  thing  I  saw  on  waking  the  following  morning 
was  Jack  Waller  standing  beside  my  bed,  evidently  in 
excellent  spirits  with  himself  and  all  the  world. 


124  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

"  Harry,  my  boy,  I  have  done  it  gloriously,"  said  he.  "  I 
only  remembered  on  parting  with  you  last  night  that  one  of 
the  most  marked  features  in  our  old  Colonel's  character  is  a 
certain  vague  idea  he  has  somewhere  picked  up  that  he  has 
been  at  some  very  remote  period  of  his  history  a  most  dis- 
tinguished officer.  This  notion,  it  appears,  haunts  his 
mind,  and  he  absolutely  believes  he  has  been  in  every 
engagement  from  the  Seven  Years'  War  down  to  the  battle 
of  Waterloo.  You  cannot  mention  a  siege:  he  did  not  lay 
down  the  first  parallel  for,  nor  a  storming  party  where  he 
did  not  lead  the  forlorn  hope;  and  there  is  not  a  regiment 
in  the  service,  from  those  that  formed  the  fighting  brigade 
of  Picton  down  to  the  London  train-bands,  with  which,  to 
use  his  own  phrase,  he  has  not  fought  and  bled.  This 
mania  of  heroism  is  droll  enough  when  one  considers  that 
the  sphere  of  his  action  was  necessarily  so  limited;  but  yet 
we  have  every  reason  to  be  thankful  for  the  peculiarity,  as 
you  '11  say  when  I  inform  you  that  this  morning  I  de- 
spatched a  hasty  messenger  to  his  villa  with  a  most  polite 
note,  setting  forth  that  '  as  Mr.  Lorrequer '  —  ay,  Harry, 
all  above  board;  there  is  nothing  like  it  —  'as  Mr.  Lorre- 
quer, of  the  — th,  was  collecting  for  publication  such  mate- 
rials as  might  serve  to  commemorate  the  distinguished 
achievements  of  British  officers  who  have  at  any  time  been 
in  command,  he  most  respectfully  requests  an  interview 
with  Colonel  Kamworth,  whose  distinguished  services  on 
many  gallant  occasions  have  called  forth  the  unqualified 
approval  of  his  Majesty's  Government.  Mr.  Lorrequer's 
stay  is  necessarily  limited  to  a  few  days,  as  he  proceeds 
from  this  to  visit  Lord  Anglesey,  and  therefore  would 
humbly  suggest  as  early  a  meeting  as  may  suit  Colonel 
K.'s  conveneince.'  What  think  you  now?  Is  this  a 
master-stroke,  or  not?" 

"  Why,  certainly,  we  are  in  for  it  now,"  said  I,  drawing 
a  deep  sigh.  "But,  Jack,  what  is  all  this?  "Why,  you  're 
in  livery  already!" 

I  now  for  the  first  time  perceived  that  Waller  was  arrayed 
in  a  very  decorous  suit  of  dark  gray,  with  cord  shorts  and 


CHELTENHAM.  125 

boots,  and  looked  a  very  knowing  style  of  servant  for  the 
side  of  a  tilbury. 

"You  like  it,  do  you?  Well,  I  should  have  preferred 
something  a  little  more  showy  myself;  but  as  you  chose 
this  last  night,  I  of  course  gave  way;  and,  after  all,  I 
believe  you're  right,  — it  certainly  is  neat." 

"Did  I  choose  it  last  night?  I  have  not  the  slightest 
recollection  of  it." 

"  Yes,  you  were  most  particular  about  the  length  of  the 
waistcoat  and  the  height  of  the  cockade,  and  you  see  I  have 
followed  your  orders  tolerably  close;  and  now  adieu  to 
sweet  equality  for  the  season,  and  I  am  your  most  obedi- 
ent servant  for  four  weeks,  —  see  that  you  make  the  most 
of  it!" 

While  we  were  talking,  the  waiter  entered  with  a  note 
addressed  to  me,  which  I  rightly  conjectured  could  only 
come  from  Colonel  Kamworth.     It  ran  thus :  — 

Colonel  Kamworth  feels  highly  flattered  by  the  polite  attention  of 
Mr.  Lorrequer,  and  will  esteem  it  a  particular  favor  if  Mr.  L.  can 
afford  him  the  few  days  his  stay  in  this  part  of  the  country  will  per- 
mit, by  spending  them  at  Hydrabad  Cottage.  Any  information  as 
to  Colonel  Kamworth's  services  in  the  four  quarters  of  the  globe,  he 
need  not  say,  is  entirely  at  Mr.  L.'s  disposal. 

Colonel  K.  dines  at  six  precisely. 

When  Waller  had  read  the  note  through,  he  tossed  his 
hat  up  in  the  air,  and  with  something  little  short  of  an 
Indian  whoop,  shouted  out,  — 

"The  game  is  won  already!  Harry,  my  man,  give  me 
the  check  for  the  ten  thousand;  she  is  your  own  this 
minute." 

Without  participating  entirely  in  Waller's  exceeding 
delight,  I  could  not  help  feeling  a  growing  interest  in  the 
part  I  was  advertised  to  perforin,  and  began  my  rehearsal 
with  more  spirit  than  I  thought  I  should  have  been  able  to 
command. 

The  same  evening,  at  the  same  hour  as  that  in  which  on 
the  preceding  night  I  sat  alone  and  comfortless  by  the 
coffee-room  fire,  I  was  seated  opposite  a  very  pompous, 


126  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

respectable-looking  old  man,  with  a  large,  stiff  queue  of 
white  hair,  who  pressed  me  repeatedly  to  fill  my  glass  and 
pass  the  decanter.  The  room  was  a  small  library,  with 
handsomely  fitted  shelves.  There  were  but  four  chairs, 
but  each  would  have  made  at  least  three  of  any  modern 
one ;  the  curtains,  of  deep  crimson  cloth,  effectually  secured 
the  room  from  draught,  and  the  cheerful  wood  fire  blazing 
on  the  hearth,  which  was  the  only  light  in  the  apartment, 
gave  a  most  inviting  look  of  comfort  and  snugness  to  every- 
thing. "This,"  thought  I,  "is  all  excellent,  and  however 
the  adventure  ends,  this  is  certainly  pleasant,  and  I  never 
tasted  better  madeira." 

"And  so,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  you  heard  of  my  affair  at 
Cantantrabad,  when  I  took  the  Rajah  prisoner?" 

"Yes,"  said  I;  "the  Governor-General  mentioned  the 
gallant  business  the  very  last  time  I  dined  at  Government 
House." 

"Ah!  did  he?  Kind  of  him,  though!  Well,  sir,  I 
received  two  lacs  of  rupees  on  the  morning  after,  and  a 
promise  of  ten  more  if  I  would  permit  him  to  escape;  but 
no,   I  refused  flatly." 

"Is  it  possible!  And  what  did  you  do  with  the  two 
lacs?     Sent  them  back,  of  course  —  " 

"No,  that  I  didn't;  the  wretches  know  nothing  of  the 
use  of  money.  No,  no;  I  have  them  this  moment  in  good 
Government  security.  I  believe  I  never  mentioned  to  you 
the  storming  of  Java.  Fill  yourself  another  glass,  and 
I  '11  describe  it  all  to  you,  for  it  will  be  of  infinite  conse- 
quence that  a  true  narrative  of  this  meets  the  public  eye, 
—  they  really  are  quite  ignorant  of  it.  Here,  now,  is  Fort 
Cornelius,  and  there  is  the  moat;  the  sugar-basin  is  the 
citadel,  and  the  tongs  is  the  first  trench ;  the  decanter  will 
represent  the  tall  tower  towards  the  southwest  angle,  and 
here,  the  wine-glass, — this  is  me.  Well,  it  was  a  little 
after  ten  at  night  that  I  got  the  order  from  the  general  in 
command  to  march  upon  this  plate  of  figs,  which  was  an 
open  space  before  Fort  Cornelius,  and  to  take  up  my  posi- 
tion in  front  of  the  fort,  and  with  four  pieces  of  field  artil- 


CHELTENHAM. 


127 


lery  —  these  walnuts  here  —  to  be  ready  to  open  my  fire  at 
a  moment's  warning  upon  the  sou'west  tower  —  But, 
my  dear  sir,  you  have  moved  the  tower;  I  thought  you 
were  drinking  madeira.  As  I  said  before,  —  to  open  my 
fire  upon  the  sou'west  tower,  or,  if  necessary,  to  protect 
the  sugar-tongs,  which  I  explained  to  you  was  the  trench. 
Just  at  the  same  time  the  besieged  were  making  prepara- 
tions for  a  sortie  to  occupy  this  dish  of  almonds  and  raisins, 
—  the  high  ground  to  the  left  of  my  position.  Put  an- 
other log  on  the  fire,  if  you  please,  sir;  for  I  cannot  see 
myself.  I  thought  I  was  up  near  the  figs,  and  I  find  myself 
down  near  the  half-moon  —  " 

"It  is  past  nine,"  said  a  servant,  entering  the  room; 
"shall  I  take  the  carriage  for  Miss  Kamworth,  sir?" 

This  being  the  first  time  the  name  of  the  young  lady  was 
mentioned  since  my  arrival,  I  felt  somewhat  anxious  to 
hear  more  of  her;  in  which  laudable  desire  I  was  not,  how- 
ever, to  be  gratified,  for  the  Colonel,  feeling  considerably 
annoyed  by  the  interruption,  dismissed  the  servant  by 
saying,  — 

"What  do  you  mean,  sirrah,  by  coming  in  at  this  mo- 
ment? Don't  you  see  I  am  preparing  for  the  attack  on  the 
half -moon?  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  beg  your  pardon  for  one 
moment ;  this  fellow  has  completely  put  me  out,  —  and 
besides,  I  perceive  you  have  eaten  the  flying  artillery;  and, 
in  fact,  my  dear  sir,  I  shall  be  obliged  to  lay  down  the 
position  again." 

With  this  praiseworthy  interest  the  Colonel  proceeded  to 
arrange  the  materiel  of  our  dessert  in  battle  array,  when 
the  door  was  suddenly  thrown  open,  and  a  very  handsome 
girl,  in  a  most  becoming  demi-toilette,  sprang  into  the 
room,  and  either  not  noticing  or  not  caring  that  a 
stranger  was  present,  threw  herself  into  the  old  gentle- 
man's arms  with  a  degree  of  empressement  exceedingly  vex- 
atious for  any  third  and  unoccupied  party  to  witness. 

"Mary,  my  dear,"  said  the  Colonel,  completely  forgetting 
Java  and  Fort  Cornelius  at  once,  "you  don't  perceive  I  have 
a  gentleman  to  introduce  to   you,  —  Mr.   Lorrequer,   my 


128  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

daughter,  Miss  Kamworth."  Here  the  young  lady  curt- 
seyed somewhat  stiffly,  and  I  bowed  reverently;  and  we 
all  resumed  places.  I  now  found  out  that  Miss  Kamworth 
had  been  spending  the  preceding  four  or  five  days  at  a 
friend's  in  the  neighborhood,  and  had  preferred  coming 
home  somewhat  unexpectedly  to  waiting  for  her  own 
carriage. 

My  "Confessions,"  if  recorded  verbatim  from  the  notes 
of  that  four  weeks'  sojourn,  would  only  increase  the  already 
too  prolix  and  uninteresting  details  of  this  chapter  of  my 
life;  I  need  only  say  that  without  falling  in  love  with  Mary 
Kamworth,  I  felt  prodigiously  disposed  thereto.  She  was 
extremely  pretty,  had  a  foot  and  ankle  to  swear  by,  the 
most  silvery  toned  voice  I.  almost  ever  heard,  and  a  certain 
witchery  and  archness  of  manner  that  by  its  very  tantaliz- 
ing uncertainty  continually  provoked  attention,  and  by 
suggesting  a  difficulty  in  the  road  to  success,  imparted  a 
more  than  common  zest  in  the  pursuit.  She  was  a  little, 
a  very  little,  blue,  — rather  a  dabbler  in  the  "ologies  "  than 
a  real  disciple.  Yet  she  made  collections  of  minerals  and 
brown  beetles  and  cryptogamias  and  various  other  homoeo- 
pathic doses  of  the  creation,  infinitesimally  small  in  their 
subdivision,  in  none  of  which  I  felt  any  interest,  save  in 
the  excuse  they  gave  for  accompanying  her  in  her  pony- 
phaeton.  This  was,  however,  a  rare  pleasure,  since  every 
morning  for  at  least  three  or  four  hours  I  was  obliged  to 
sit  opposite  the  Colonel,  engaged  in  the  compilation  of  that 
narrative  of  his  deeds  which  was  to  eclipse  the  career 
of  Napoleon,  and  leave  Wellington's  laurels  but  a  very 
faded  lustre  in  comparison.  In  this  agreeable  occupation 
did  I  pass  the  greater  part  of  my  day,  listening  to  the 
insufferable  prolixity  of  the  most  prolix  of  colonels,  and  at 
times,  notwithstanding  the  propinquity  of  relationship 
which  awaited  us,  almost  regretting  that  he  was  not 
blown  up  in  any  of  the  numerous  explosions  his  memoir 
abounded  with.  I  may  here  mention  that  while  my  liter- 
ary labor  was  thus  progressing,  the  young  lady  continued 
her  avocations  as  before,  —  not,  indeed,  with  me  for  her 


CHELTENHAM.  129 

companion,  but  Waller;  for  Colonel  Kanrworth,  "having 
remarked  the  steadiness  and  propriety  of  my  man,  felt  no 
scruple  in  sending  him  out  to  drive  Miss  Kam worth;  "  par- 
ticularly as  I  gave  him  a  most  excellent  character  for  every 
virtue  under  heaven. 

I  must  hasten  on.  The  last  evening  of  my  four  weeks 
was  drawing  to  a  close.  Colonel  Kamworth  had  pressed 
me  to  prolong  my  visit,  and  I  only  waited  for  Waller's 
return  from  Cheltenham,  whither  I  had  sent  him  for  my 
letters,  to  make  arrangements  with  him  to  absolve  me  from 
my  ridiculous  bond  and  accept  the  invitation.  We  were 
sitting  round  the  library  fire,  the  Colonel,  as  usual,  narrat- 
ing his  early  deeds  and  hair-breadth  'scapes.  Mary,  em- 
broidering an  indescribable  something,  which  every  evening 
made  its  appearance,  but  seemed  never  to  advance,  was 
rather  in  better  spirits  than  usual,  at  the  same  time  her 
manner  was  nervous  and  uncertain ;  and  I  could  perceive, 
by  her  frequent  absence  of  mind,  that  her  thoughts  were 
not  as  much  occupied  by  the  siege  of  Java  as  her  worthy 
father  believed  them.  Without  laying  any  stress  upon  the 
circumstance,  I  must  yet  avow  that  Waller's  not  having 
returned  from  Cheltenham  gave  me  some  uneasiness,  and  I 
more  than  once  had  recourse  to  the  bell  to  demand  if  "  my 
servant  had  come  back  yet."  At  each  of  these  times  I  well 
remember  the  peculiar  expression  of  Mary's  look,  the  half 
embarrassment,  half  drollery,  with  which  she  listened  to 
the  question  and  heard  the  answer  in  the  negative.  Sup- 
per at  length  made  its  appearance,  and  I  asked  the  servant 
who  waited  if  my  man  had  brought  me  any  letters,  vary- 
ing my  inquiry  to  conceal  my  anxiety;  and  again  I  heard 
he  had  not  returned.  Resolving  now  to  propose  in  all  form 
for  Miss  Kamworth  the  next  morning,  and  by  referring  the 
Colonel  to  my  uncle  Sir  Guy,  smooth,  as  far  as  I  could,  all 
difficulties,  I  wished  them  good-night  and  retired,  —  not, 
however,  before  the  Colonel  had  warned  me  that  they  were 
to  have  an  excursion  to  some  place  in  the  neighborhood  the 
next  day,  and  begging  that  I  might  be  in  the  breakfast- 
room  at  nine,  as  they  were  to  assemble  there  from  all  parts, 

VOL.  I.  —  9 


130  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

and  start  early  on  the  expedition.  I  was  in  a  sound  sleep 
the  following  morning,  when  a  gentle  tap  at  the  door  awoke 
me;  at  the  same  time  I  recognized  the  voice  of  the  Colonel's 
servant  saying,  "Mr.  Lorrequer,  breakfast  is  waiting,  sir." 
I  sprang  up  at  once,  and  replying,  "  Very  well,  I  shall 
come  down,"  proceeded  to  dress  in  all  haste;  but  to  my 
horror  I  could  not  discern  a  vestige  of  my  clothes.  Xothing 
remained  of  the  habiliments  I  possessed  only  the  day  be 
fore,  —  even  my  portmanteau  had  disappeared.  After  a 
most  diligent  search,  I  discovered  on  a  chair  in  a  corner  of 
the  room  a  small  bundle  tied  up  in  a  handkerchief,  on  open- 
ing which,  I  perceived  a  new  suit  of  livery  of  the  most 
gaudy  and  showy  description, — the  vest  and  breeches  of 
yellow  plush,  with  light-blue  binding  and  lace,  of  which 
color  was  also  the  coat,  which  had  a  standing  collar  and 
huge  cuffs,  deeply  ornamented  with  worked  button-holes 
and  large  buttons.  As  I  turned  the  things  over,  without 
even  a  guess  of  what  they  could  mean,  for  I  was  scarcely 
well  awake,  I  perceived  a  small  slip  of  paper  fastened  to 
the  coat-sleeve,  upon  which,  in  Waller's  handwriting,  the 
following  few  words  were  written :  — 

The  livery,  I  hope,  will  lit  you,  as  I  am  rather  particular  about 
how  you '11  look.  Get  quietly  down  to  the  stable-yard,  and  drive 
the  tilbury  into  Cheltenham,  where  wait  for  further  orders  from 
your  kind  master, 

John  Waller. 

The  horrible  villany  of  this  wild  scamp  actual ly  paralyzed 
me.  That  I  should  put  on  such  ridiculous  trumpery  was 
out  of  the  question;  yet  what  was  to  be  done?  I  rang  the 
bell  violently.     "Where  are  my  clothes,  Thomas?" 

"Don't  know,  sir;  I  was  out  all  the  morning,  sir,  and 
never  seed  them." 

"There,  Thomas,  be  smart  now,  and  send  them  up,  will 
you?  " 

Thomas  disappeared,  and  speedily  returned  to  say  that 
my  clothes  could  not  be  found  anywhere,  no  one  knew  any- 
thing of  them,  and  begged  me  to  come  down,  as  Miss  Kam- 
woith  desired  him  to  say  that  they  were  still  waiting,  and 


CHELTENHAM.  131 

she  begged  Mr.  Lorrequer  would  not  make  an  elaborate 
toilet,  as  they  were  going  on  a  country  excursion.  An 
elaborate  toilet!  I  wish  to  Heaven  she  saw  ray  costume! 
No,  I'll  never  do  it. 

"  Thomas,  you  must  tell  the  ladies,  and  the  Colonel  too, 
that  I  feel  very  ill;  I  am  not  able  to  leave  my  bed;  I  am 
subject  to  attacks,  — very  violent  attacks  in  my  head,  and 
must  always  be  left  quiet  and  alone,  —  perfectly  alone, 
mind  me,  Thomas,  for  a  day  at  least." 

Thomas  departed;  and  as  I  lay  distracted  in  my  bed,  I 
heard  from  the  breakfast-room  the  loud  laughter  of  many 
persons  evidently  enjoying  some  excellent  joke.  Could  it 
be  me  they  were  laughing  at?  The  thought  was  horrible! 

"  Colonel  Kamworth  wishes  to  know  if  you  'd  like  the 
doctor,  sir?  "  said  Thomas,  evidently  suppressing  a  most 
inveterate  fit  of  laughing,  as  he  again  appeared  at  the  door. 

"No,  certainly  not,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  of  thunder. 
"What  the  devil  are  you  grinning  at?" 

"You  may  as  well  come,  my  man,  — }rou  're  found  out; 
they  all  know  it  now,"  said  the  fellow,  with  an  odious 
grin. 

I  jumped  out  of  the  bed  and  hurled  the  boot-jack  at  him 
with  all  my  strength,  but  had  only  the  satisfaction  to  hear 
him  go  downstairs  chuckling  at  his  escape;  and  as  he 
reached  the  parlor,  the  increase  of  mirth  and  the  loudness 
of  the  laughter  told  me  that  he  was  not  the  only  one  who 
was  merry  at  my  expense.  Anything  was  preferable  to 
this.  Downstairs  I  resolved  to  go  at  once.  But  how?  A 
blanket,  I  thought,  would  not  be  a  bad  thing,  and  particu- 
larly as  I  had  said  I  was  ill.  I  could  at  least  get  as  far  as 
Colonel  .Kamworth's  dressing-room  and  explain  to  him  the 
whole  affair;  but  then,  if  I  was  detected  en  route!  which  I 
was  almost  sure  to  be,  with  so  many  people  parading  about 
the  house.  No,  that  would  never  do.  There  was  but  one 
alternative,  and  dreadful,  shocking  as  it  was,  I  could  not 
avoid  it;  and  with  a  heavy  heart,  and  as  much  indignation 
at  Waller  for  what  I  could  not  but  consider  a  most  scurvy 
trick,  I  donned  the  yellow  inexpressibles;  next  came  the 


132  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

vest,  and  last  the  coat,  with  its  broad  flaps  and  lace  excres- 
cences, fifty  times  more  absurd  and  merry-andrew  than  any 
stage  servant  who  makes  off  with  his  table  and  two  chairs 
amid  the  hisses  and  gibes  of  an  upper  gallery. 

If  my  costume  leaned  towards  the  ridiculous,  I  resolved 
that  my  air  and  bearing  should  be  more  than  usually  austere 
and  haughty;  and  with  something  of  the  stride  of  John 
Kemble  in  Coriolanus,  I  was  leaving  my  bedroom,  when 
I  accidentally  caught  a  view  of  myself  in  the  glass,  — and 
so  mortified,  so  shocked  was  I  that  I  sank  into  a  chair  and 
almost  abandoned  my  resolution  to  go  on ;  the  very  gesture 
I  had  assumed  for  my  vindication  only  increased  the  ridi- 
cule of  my  appearance,  and  the  strange  quaintness  of  the 
costume  totally  obliterated  every  trace  of  any  characteristic 
of  the  wearer,  so  infernally  cunning  was  its  contrivance. 
I  don't  think  that  the  most  saturnine  martyr  of  gout  and 
dyspepsia  could  survey  me  without  laughing.  With  a  bold 
effort  I  flung  open  my  door,  hurried  down  the  stairs,  and 
reached  the  hall.  The  first  person  I  met  was  a  kind  of 
pantry -boy,  —  a  beast  only  lately  emancipated  from  the 
plough,  and  destined,  after  a  dozen  years'  training  as  a 
servant,  again  to  be  turned  back  to  his  old  employ  for  inca- 
pacity; he  grinned  horribly  for  a  minute  as  I  passed,  and 
then,  in  a  half-whisper,  said,  — 

"Maester,  I  advise  ye  run  for  it;  they 're  a- waiting  for 
ye  with  the  constables  in  the  justice's  room." 

I  gave  him  a  look  of  contemptuous  superiority,  at  which 
he  grinned  the  more,  and  passed  on. 

Without  stopping  to  consider  where  I  was  going,  I 
opened  the  door  of  the  breakfast-parlor  and  found  myself 
at  one  plunge  in  a  room  full  of  people.  My  first  impulse 
was  to  retreat  again ;  but  so  shocked  was  I  at  the  very  first 
thing  that  met  my  sight  that  I  was  perfectly  powerless  to 
do  anything.  Among  a  considerable  number  of  people  who 
stood  in  small  groups  round  the  breakfast-table,  I  discerned 
Jack  Waller,  habited  in  a  very  accurate  black  frock  and 
dark  trousers,  supporting  upon  his  arm  —  shall  I  confess? 
—  no  less  a  person  than  Mary  Kamworth,  who  leaned  on 


CHELTENHAM.  133 

him  with  the  familiarity  of  an  old  acquaintance  and  chatted 
gayly  with  him.  The  buzz  of  conversation  which  filled  the 
apartment  when  I  entered  ceased  for  a  second  of  deep 
silence;  and  then  followed  a  peal  of  laughter  so  long  and 
so  vociferous  that  in  my  momentary  anger  I  prayed  some 
one  might  burst  a  blood-vessel  and  frighten  the  rest.  I 
put  on  a  look  of  indescribable  indignation,  and  cast  a  glance 
of  what  I  intended  should  be  most  withering  scorn  on  the 
assembly;  but  alas!  my  infernal  harlequin  costume  ruined 
the  effect,  and  confound  me  if  they  did  not  laugh  the 
louder!  I  turned  from  one  to  the  other  with  the  air  of  a 
man  who  marks  out  victims  for  his  future  wrath,  but  with 
no  better  success ;  at  last,  amid  the  continued  mirth  of  the 
party,  I  made  my  way  towards  where  Waller  stood,  abso- 
lutely suffocated  with  laughter,  and  scarcely  able  to  stand 
without  support. 

"Waller,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  half  tremulous  with  rage 
and  shame  together,  "Waller,  if  this  rascally  trick  be 
yours,  rest  assured  no  former  term  of  intimacy  between 
us  shall  —  " 

Before  I  could  conclude  the  sentence,  a  bustle  at  the 
door  of  the  room  called  every  attention  in  that  direction ; 
I  turned  and  beheld  Colonel  Kamworth,  followed  by  a 
strong  posse  comitatus  of  constables,  tipstaffs,  etc.,  armed 
to  the  teeth,  and  evidently  prepared  for  vigorous  battle. 
Before  1  was  able  to  point  out  my  woes  to  my  kind  host, 
he  burst  out,  — 

"  So  you  scoundrel,  you  impostor,  you  infernal  young  vil- 
lain! Pretending  to  be  a  gentleman,  you  get  admission  into 
a  man's  house  and  dine  at  his  table,  when  your  proper  place 
had  been  behind  his  chair !  How  far  he  might  have  gone, 
Heaven  can  tell  if  that  excellent  young  gentleman,  his  mas- 
ter, had  not  traced  him  here  this  morning;  but  you'll  pay 
dearly  for  it,  you  young  rascal,  that  you  shall." 

"  Colonel  Kamworth, "  said  I,  drawing  nryself  proudly  up 
(and,  I  confess,  exciting  new  bursts  of  laughter),  "Colonel 
Kamworth,  for  the  expressions  you  have  just  applied  to  me 
a  heavy  reckoning  awaits  you,  —  not,  however,  before  an- 


134 


HARRY  LORREQUER. 


other  individual  now  present  shall  atone  for  the  insult  he 
has  dared  to  pass  upon  me." 

Colonel  Kainworth's  passion  at  this  declaration  knew  no 
bounds;  he  cursed  and  swore  absolutely  like  a  madman, 
and  vowed  that  transportation  for  life  would  be  a  mild  sen- 
tence for  such  an  iniquity. 


Waller  at  length,  wiping  the  tears  of  laughter  from  his 
eyes,  interposed  between  the  Colonel  and  his  victim,  and 
begged  that  I  might  be  forgiven.  "For  indeed,  my  dear 
sir,"  said  he,  "the  poor  fellow  is  of  rather  respectable 
parentage,  and  such  is  his  taste  for  good  society  that  he  'd 
run  any  risk  to  be  among  his  betters,  although,  as  in  the 
present  case,  the  exposure  brings  a  rather  heavy  retribu- 
tion. However,  let  me  deal  with  him.  Come,  Henry," 
said  he,  with  an  air  of  insufferable  superiority,  "take  my 
tilbury  into  town,  and  wait  for  me  at  the  George;  I  shall 
endeavor  to  make  your  peace  with  my  excellent  friend 


CHELTENHAM. 


135 


Colonel  Kamworth,  and  the  best  mode  yon  can  contribute 
to  that  object  is  to  let  us  have  no  more  of  your  society." 

I  cannot  attempt  to  picture  my  rage  at  these  words; 
however,  escape  from  this  diabolical  predicament  was  my 
only  present  object,  and  I  rushed  from  the  room,  and 
springing  into  the  tilbury  at  the  door,  drove  down  the 
avenue  at  the  rate  of  fifteen  miles  per  hour,  amid  the 
united  cheers,  groans,  and  yells  of  the  whole  servants' 
hall,  who  seemed  to  enjoy  my  "  detection  "  more  even  than 
their  betters.  Meditating  vengeance,  sharp,  short,  and 
decisive,  on  Waller,  the  Colonel,  and  every  one  else  in 
the  infernal  conspiracy  against  me,  —  for  I  utterly  forgot 
every  vestige  of  our  agreement  in  the  surprise  by  which  I 
was  taken,  —  I  reached  Cheltenham.  Unfortunately,  I  had 
no  friend  there  to  whose  management  I  could  commit  the 
bearing  of  a  message,  and  was  obliged,  as  soon  as  I  could 
procure  suitable  costume,  to  hasten  up  to  Coventry,  where 
the  — th  Dragoons  were  then  quartered.  I  lost  no  time  m 
selecting  an  adviser  and  taking  the  necessary  steps  to  bring 
Master  Waller  to  a  reckoning;  and  on  the  third  morning 
we  again  reached  Cheltenham,  I  thirsting  for  vengeance 
and  bursting  still  with  anger.  Not  so,  my  friend,  how- 
ever, who  never  could  discuss  the  affair  with  common 
gravity,  and  even  ventured  every  now  and  then  on  a  sly 
allusion  to  my  yellow  shorts.  As  we  passed  the  last  toll- 
bar,  a  travelling  carriage  came  whirling  by,  with  four 
horses,  at  a  tremendous  pace;  and  as  the  morning  was 
frosty,  and  the  sun  scarcely  risen,  the  whole  team  were 
smoking  and  steaming  so  as  to  be  half  invisible.  We 
both  remarked  on  the  precipitancy  of  the  party;  for  as  our 
own  pace  was  considerable,  the  two  vehicles  passed  like 
lightning.  We  had  scarcely  dressed  and  ordered  breakfast, 
when  a  more  than  usual  bustle  in  the  yard  called  us  to  the 
window ;  the  waiter,  who  came  in  at  the  same  instant,  told 
us  that  four  horses  were  ordered  out  to  pursue  a  young  lady 
who  had  eloped  that  morning  with  an  officer. 

"Ah!  our  friend  in  the  green  travelling-chariot,  I  '11  be 
bound,"  said  my  companion;   but  as  neither  of  us  knew 


136  HAERY  LORREQUER. 

that  part  of  the  country,  and  I  was  too  engrossed  by  my 
own  thoughts,  I  never  inquired  farther.  As  the  chaise  in 
chase  drove  round  to  the  door,  I  looked  to  see  what  the 
pursuer  was  like;  and  as  he  issued  from  the  inn,  recog- 
nized my  ci-devant  host,  Colonel  Kamworth.  I  need  not 
say  my  vengeance  was  sated  at  once, — he  had  lost  his 
daughter,  and  Waller  was  on  the  road  to  be  married. 
Apologies  and  explanations  came  in  due  time  for  all  my 
injuries  and  sufferings;  and  I  confess  the  part  which 
pleased  me  most  was  that  1  saw  no  more  of  Jack  for  a 
considerable  period  after.  He  started  for  the  Continent, 
where  he  has  lived  ever  since  on  a  small  allowance  granted 
by  his  father-in-law,  and  never  paying  me  the  stipulated 
sum,  as  I  had  clearly  broken  the  compact. 

So  much  for  my  second  attempt  at  matrimony.  One 
would  suppose  that  such  experience  should  be  deemed  suffi- 
cient to  show  that  my  talent  did  not  lie  in  that  way.  And 
here  I  must  rest  for  the  present,  with  the  additional  con- 
fession that  so  strong  was  the  memory  of  that  vile  adven- 
ture that  I  refused  a  lucrative  appointment  under  Lord 
Anglesey's  Government  when  I  discovered  that  his  livery 
included  "yellow  plush  breeches:"  to  have  such  souvenirs 
flitting  around  and  about  me,  at  dinner  and  elsewhere, 
would  have  left  me  without  a  pleasure  in  existence. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

DUBLIN.  TOM    o'FLAHERTY.  —  A   REMINISCENCE   OF   THE 

PENINSULA. 

Dear,  dirty  Dublin,  Io  te  saluto  !  How  many  excellent 
tilings  might  be  said  of  thee  if,  unfortunately,  it  did  not 
happen  that  the  theme  is  an  old  one,  and  has  been  much 
better  sung  than  it  can  ever  now  be  said.  With  thus  much 
of  apology  for  no  more  lengthened  panegyric,  let  me  beg  of 
my  reader,  if  he  be  conversant  with  that  most  moving  mel- 
ody, the  "Groves  of  Blarney,"  to  hum  the  following  lines, 
which  I  heard  shortly  after  my  landing,  and  which  well 
express  my  own  feelings  for  the  "  loved  spot :  "  — 

"  Oh!  Dublin,  sure,  there  is  no  doubtin', 
Beats  every  city  upon  the  say  ; 
'T  is  there  you  '11  see  O'Connell  spouting, 

And  Lady  Morgan  making  tay. 
And  't  is  the  capital  of  the  greatest  nation, 
With  finest  peasantry  on  a  fruitful  sod, 
Fighting  like  devils  for  conciliation, 

And  hating  each  other  for  the  love  of  God." 

Once  more,  then,  I  found  myself  in  the  "  most  car-driv- 
ingest  city,"  en  route  to  join  on  the  expiration  of  my  leave. 
Since  my  departure,  my  regiment  had  been  ordered  to  Kil- 
kenny, that  sweet  city  so  famed  in  song  for  its  "fire  with- 
out smoke,"  but  which,  were  its  character  in  any  way  to  be 
derived  from  its  past  or  present  representative,  might  cer- 
tainly with  more  propriety  reverse  the  epithet,  and  read 
"smoke  without  fire."  My  last  communication  from  head- 
quarters was  full  of  nothing  but  gay  doings.  Balls,  dinners, 
dejeuners,  and,  more  than  all,  private  theatricals,  seemed 
to  occupy  the  entire  attention  of  every  man  of  the  gallant 
— th.     I  was  earnestly  entreated  to  come,  without  waiting 


138  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

for  the  end  of  my  leave;  that  several  of  my  old  "parts 
were  kept  open  for  me;"  and  that,  in  fact,  the  "boys  of 
Kilkenny  "  were  on  tiptoe  in  expectation  of  my  arrival,  as 
though  his  Majesty's  mail  were  to  convey  a  Kean  or  a 
Kemble.  I  shuddered  a  little  as  I  read  this,  and  recol- 
lected "my  last  appearance  on  any  stage,"  little  anticipat- 
ing, at  the  moment,  that  my  next  was  to  be  nearly  as 
productive  of  the  ludicrous,  as  time  and  my  "  Confessions  " 
will  show.  One  circumstance,  however,  gave  me  consider- 
able pleasure.  It  was  this:  I  took  it  for  granted  that  in 
the  varied  and  agreeable  occupations  which  so  pleasurable 
a  career  opened,  my  adventures  in  love  would  escape  notice, 
and  that  I  should  avoid  the  merciless  raillery  my  two  fail- 
ures, in  six  months,  might  reasonably  be  supposed  to  call 
forth.  I  therefore  wrote  a  hurried  note  to  Curzon,  setting 
forth  the  great  interest  all  their  proceedings  had  for  me, 
and  assuring  him  that  my  stay  in  town  should  be  as  short 
as  possible,  for  that  I  longed  once  more  to  "strut  the  mon- 
arch of  the  boards,"  and  concluded  with  a  sly  paragraph, 
artfully  intended  to  act  as  a  paratonnerre  to  the  gibes  and 
jests  which  I  dreaded,  by  endeavoring  to  make  light  of  my 
matrimonial  speculations.  The  postscript  ran  somewhat 
thus,  — 

Glorious  fun  have  I  had  since  we  met;  but  were  it  not  that  my 
good  angel  stood  by  me,  I  should  write  these  hurried  lines  with  a 
wife  at  my  elbow.  But  luck,  that  never  yet  deserted,  is  still  faithful 
to  your  old  friend  H.  Lorrequer. 

My  reader  may  suppose  —  for  he  is  sufficiently  behind 
the  scenes  with  me  —  with  what  feeings  I  penned  these 
words ;  yet  anything  was  better  than  the  attack  I  looked 
forward  to:  and  I  should  rather  have  changed  into  the 
Cape  Rifle  Corps,  or  any  other  army  of  martyrs,  than  meet 
my  mess  with  all  the  ridicule  my  late  proceedings  exposed 
me  to.  Having  disburdened  my  conscience  of  this  dread, 
I  finished  my  breakfast  and  set  out  on  a  stroll  through  the 
town. 

I  believe  it  is  Coleridge  who  somewhere  says  that  to 
transmit   the   first   bright   and   early    impressions   of  our 


DUBLIN.  139 

youth,  fresh  and  uninjured,  to  a  remote  period  of  life, 
constitutes  one  of  the  loftiest  prerogatives  of  genius.  If 
this  be  true,  —  and  I  am  not  disposed  to  dispute  it,  —  what 
a  gifted  people  must  be  the  worthy  inhabitants  of  Dublin ; 
for  I  scruple  not  to  affirm  that  of  all  cities  of  which  we 
have  any  record  in  history,  sacred  or  profane,  there  is  not 
one  so  little  likely  to  disturb  the  tranquil  current  of  such 
reminiscences.  "As  it  was  of  old,  so  it  is  now,"  enjoy- 
ing a  delightful  permanency  in  all  its  habits  and  customs 
which  no  changes  elsewhere  disturb  or  affect;  and  in  this 
respect  I  defy  O'Connell  and  all  the  tail  to  refuse  it  the 
epithet  of  "Conservative." 

Had  the  excellent  Rip  Van  Winkle,  instead  of  seeking 
his  repose  upon  the  cold  and  barren  acclivities  of  the 
Kaatskills,  —  as  we  are  veritably  informed  by  Irving,  — 
but  betaken  himself  to  a  comfortable  bed  at  Morrisson's  or 
the  Bilton,  not  only  would  he  have  enjoyed  a  more  agree- 
able siesta,  but,  what  the  event  showed  of  more  conse- 
quence, the  pleasing  satisfaction  of  not  being  disconcerted 
by  novelty  on  his  awakening.  It  is  possible  that  the  waiter 
who  brought  him  the  water  to  shave  —  for  Rip's  beard,  we 
are  told,  had  grown  uncommonly  long  —  might  exhibit  a 
little  of  that  wear  and  tear  to  which  humanity  is  liable 
from  time;  but  had  he  questioned  him  as  to  the  ruling 
topics,  the  popular  amusements  of  the  day,  he  would  have 
heard,  as  he  might  have  done  twenty  years  before,  that 
there  was  a  meeting  to  convert  Jews  at  the  Rotunda;  an- 
other to  rob  parsons  at  the  Corn  Exchange ;  that  the  Vice- 
roy was  dining  with  the  Corporation  and  congratulating 
them  on  the  prosperity  of  Ireland,  while  the  inhabitants 
were  regaled  with  a  procession  of  the  "broad  ribbon  weav- 
ers," who  had  not  weaved,  Heaven  knows  when!  This, 
with  an  occasional  letter  from  Mr.  O'Connell,  and  now  and 
then  a  duel  in  the  "  Phaynix, "  constituted  the  current  pas- 
times of  the  city.  Such,  at  least,  were  they  in  my  day; 
and  though  far  from  the  dear  locale,  an  odd,  flitting  glance 
at  the  newspapers  induces  me  to  believe  that  matters  are 
not  much  changed  since. 


140  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

I  rambled  through  the  streets  for  some  hours,  revolving 
such  thoughts  as  pressed  upon  me  involuntarily  by  all  I 
saw.  The  same  little  gray  homunculus  that  filled  my 
"  Prince's  mixture  "  years  before,  stood  behind  the  counter 
at  Lundy  Foot's,  weighing  out  rappee  and  high  toast  just 
as  I  last  saw  him.  The  fat  college  porter,  that  I  used  to 
mistake  in  my  schoolboy  days  for  the  Provost,  God  forgive 
me !  was  there  as  fat  and  as  ruddy  as  heretofore  and  wore 
his  Roman  costume  of  helmet  and  plush  breeches  with  an 
air  as  classic.  The  state  trumpeter  at  the  Castle  —  another 
object  of  my  youthful  veneration,  poor  "old  God  save  the 
King,"  as  we  used  to  call  him  —  walked  the  streets  as  of 
old, — his  cheeks,  indeed,  a  little  more  lanky  and  tendi- 
nous; but  then  there  had  been  many  viceregal  changes, 
and  the  "one  sole  melody  his  heart  delighted  in"  had  been 
more  frequently  called  into  requisition  as  he  marched  in 
solemn  state  with  the  other  antique  gentlemen  in  tabards, 
As  I  walked  along,  each  moment  some  familiar  and  early 
association  being  suggested  by  the  objects  around,  I  felt 
my  arm  suddenly  seized.  I  turned  hastily  round,  and  be- 
held a  very  old  companion  in  many  a  hard-fought  field  and 
merry  bivouac,  Tom  O'Flaherty,  of  the  8th.  Poor  Tom 
was  sadly  changed  since  we  last  met,  which  was  at  a  ball 
in  Madrid.  He  was  then  one  of  the  best-looking  fellows 
of  his  stamp  I  ever  met,  tall  and  athletic,  with  the  easy 
bearing  of  a  man  of  the  world,  and  a  certain  jauntiness 
tli at  I  have  never  seen  but  in  Irishmen  who  have  mixed 
much  in  society. 

There  was  also  a  certain  peculiar  devil-may-care  reck- 
lessness about  the  self-satisfied  swagger  of  his  gait,  and 
the  free-and-easy  glance  of  his  sharp  black  eye,  united  with 
a  temper  that  nothing  could  ruffle,  and  a  courage  nothing 
could  daunt.  With  such  qualities  as  these,  he  had  been 
the  prime  favorite  of  his  mess,  to  which  he  never  came 
without  some  droll  story  to  relate,  or  some  choice  expedi- 
ent for  future  amusement.  Such  had  Tom  once  been,  — 
now  he  was  much  altered;  and  though  the  quiet  twinkle  of 
his  dark  eye  showed  that  the  spirit  of  fun  within  was  not 


DUBLIN.  141 

"dead,  but  only  sleeping,"  to  myself,  who  knew  something 
of  his  history,  it  seemed  almost  cruel  to  awaken  him  to 
anything  which  might  bring  him  back  to  the  memory  of 
bygone  days.  A  momentary  glance  showed  me  that  he  was 
no  longer  what  he  had  been,  and  that  the  unfortunate 
change  in  his  condition,  the  loss  of  all  his  earliest  and 
oldest  associates,  and  his  blighted  prospects,  had  nearly 
broken  a  heart  that  never  deserted  a  friend  nor  quailed 
before  an  enemy.  Poor  0 'Flaherty  was  no  longer  the 
delight  of  the  circle  he  once  adorned;  the  wit  that  "set 
the  table  in  a  roar"  was  all  but  departed,  — he  had  been 
dismissed  the  service.     The  story  is  a  brief  one. 

In  the  retreat  from  Burgos,  the  — th  Light  Dragoons,  after 
a  fatiguing  day's  march,  halted  at  the  wretched  village  of 
Cabenas.  It  had  been  deserted  by  the  inhabitants  the  day 
before,  who,  on  leaving,  had  set  it  on  fire;  and  the  black- 
ened walls  and  fallen  roof-trees  were  nearly  all  that  now 
remained  to  show  where  the  little  hamlet  had  once  stood. 

Amid  a  downpour  of  rain  that  had  fallen  for  several 
hours,  drenched  to  the  skin,  cold,  weary,  and  nearly  starv- 
ing, the  gallant  8th  reached  this  melancholy  spot  at  night- 
fall, with  little  better  prospect  of  protection  from  the  storm 
than  the  barren  heath  through  which  their  road  led  might 
afford  them.  Among  the  many  who  muttered  curses,  not 
loud,  but  deep,  on  the  wretched  termination  to  their  day's 
suffering,  there  was  one  who  kept  up  his  usual  good  spirits, 
and  not  only  seemed  himself  nearly  regardless  of  the  priva- 
tions and  miseries  about  him,  but  actually  succeeded  in 
making  the  others  who  rode  alongside  as  perfectly  forget- 
ful of  their  annoyances  and  troubles  as  was  possible  under 
such  circumstances.  Good  stories,  joking  allusions  to  the 
more  discontented  ones  of  the  party,  ridiculous  plans  for 
the  night's  encampment,  followed  each  other  so  rapidly 
that  the  weariness  of  the  way  was  forgotten;  and  while 
some  were  cursing  their  hard  fate  that  ever  betrayed  them 
into  such  misfortunes,  the  little  group  round  O'Flaherty 
were  almost  convulsed  with  laughter  at  the  wit  and  drollery 
of  one  over  whom,  if  the  circumstances  had  any  influence, 


142  HAERY  LORREQUER. 

they  seemed  only  to  heighten  his  passion  for  amusement. 
In  the  early  part  of  the  morning  he  had  captured  a  turkey, 
which  hung  gracefully  from  his  holster  on  one  side,  while 
a  small  goat-skin  of  Valencia  wine  balanced  it  on  the  other. 
These  good  things  were  destined  to  form  a  feast  that  even- 
ing, to  which  he  had  invited  four  others, — that  being, 
according  to  his  most  liberal  calculation,  the  greatest  num- 
ber to  whom  he  could  afford  a  reasonable  supply  of  wine. 

When  the  halt  was  made,  it  took  some  time  to  arrange 
the  dispositions  for  the  night;  and  it  was  nearly  midnight 
before  all  the  regiment   had   got  their   billets   and  were 
housed,  even  with  such  scanty  accommodation  as  the  place 
afforded.     Tom's  guests  had  not  yet  arrived,  and  he  him- 
self was  busily  engaged  m  roasting  the  turkey  before  a 
large  fire,  on  which  stood  a  capacious  vessel  of  spiced  wine, 
when   the   party  appeared.      A  very  cursory   "reconnois- 
sance  "  through  the  house  —  one  of  the  only  ones  untouched 
in  the  village  —  showed  that  from  the  late  rain  it  would  be 
impossible  to  think  of  sleeping  in  the  lower  story,  which 
already  showed  signs  of  being  flooded;  they  therefore  pro- 
ceeded in  a  body  upstairs,  —  and  what  was  their  delight  to 
find  a  most  comfortable  room,  neatly  furnished  with  chairs 
and  a  table,  but  above  all,  a  large  old-fashioned  bed,  an 
object  of  such  luxury  as  only  an  old  campaigner  can  duly 
appreciate.     The  curtains  were  closely  tucked  in  all  round, 
and  in  their  fleeting  and  hurried  glance,  they  felt  no  incli- 
nation to  disturb  them,  and  rather  proceeded  to  draw  up 
the  table  before  the  hearth  to  which  they  speedily  removed 
the  fire  from  below;    and   ere   many  minutes,  with   that 
activity   which   a  bivouac   life   invariably   teaches,    their 
supper  smoked  before  them,  and  five  happier  fellows  did 
not   sit   down  that  night  within  a  large  circuit   around. 
Tom  was   unusually   great;    stores   of   drollery,   unlocked 
before,  poured  from  him  unceasingly,  and  what  with  his 
high  spirits  to  excite  them,  and  the  reaction  inevitable 
after  a  hard  day's  severe  march,  the  party  soon  lost  the 
little  reason  that  usually  sufficed  to  guide  them,  and  became 
as  pleasantly  tipsy  as  can  well  be  conceived.     However, 


DUBLIN.  143 

all  good  things  must  have  an  end,  and  so  had  the  wine- 
skin. Tom  had  placed  it  affectionately  under  his  arm  like 
a  bagpipe,  and  failed,  with  even  a  most  energetic  squeeze, 
to  extract  a  drop.  There  was  now  nothing  for  it  but  to  go 
to  rest,  —  and,  indeed,  it  seemed  the  most  prudent  thing 
for  the  party. 

The  bed  became  accordingly  a  subject  of  grave  delibera- 
tion ;  for  as  it  could  only  hold  two,  and  the  party  were  five, 
there  seemed  some  difficulty  in  submitting  their  chances  to 
lot,  which  all  agreed  was  the  fairest  way.  While  this  was 
under  discussion,  one  of  the  party  had  approached  the  con- 
tested prize,  and  drawing  aside  the  curtains,  proceeded  to 
jump  in,  when  what  was  his  astonishment  to  discover  that 
it  was  already  occupied!  The  exclamation  of  surprise  he 
gave  forth  soon  brought  the  others  to  his  side,  and  to  their 
horror,  drunk  as  they  were,  they  found  that  the  body  before 
them  was  that  of  a  dead  man  arrayed  m  all  the  ghastly 
pomp  of  a  corpse.  A  little  nearer  inspection  showed  that 
he  had  been  a  priest,  — probably  the  padre  of  the  village; 
on  his  head  he  had  a  small  velvet  skull-cap  embroidered 
with  a  cross,  and  his  body  was  swathed  in  a  vestment  such 
as  priests  usually  wear  at  the  mass ;  in  his  hand  he  held  a 
large  wax  taper,  which  appeared  to  have  burnt  only  half 
down,  and  probably  been  extinguished  by  the  current  of  air 
on  opening  the  door.  After  the  first  brief  shock  which 
this  sudden  apparition  had  caused,  the  party  recovered  as 
much  of  their  senses  as  the  wine  had  left  them,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  discuss  what  was  to  be  done  under  the  circum- 
stances; for  not  one  of  them  ever  contemplated  giving  up 
a  bed  to  a  dead  priest  while  five  living  men  slept  on  the 
ground.  After  much  altercation,  0' Flaherty,  who  had 
hitherto  listened  without  speaking,  interrupted  the  con- 
tending parties,  saying,   "Stop,  lads,   I  have  it!" 

"Come,"  said  one  of  them,  "let  us  hear  Tom's  proposal." 
"Oh!"  said  he,  with  difficulty  steadying  himself  while 
he  spoke,  "we'll  put  him  to  bed  with  old  Ridgeway,  the 
quartermaster!" 

The  roar  of  loud  laughter  that  followed  Tom's  device  was 


144  HARRY   LORREQUEU. 

renewed  again  and  again,  till  not  a  man  could  speak  from 
absolute  fatigue.  There  was  not  a  dissentient  voice.  ( )ld 
Ridgeway  was  hated  in  the  corps,  and  a  better  way  of  dis- 
posing of  the  priest  and  paying  off  the  quartermaster  could 
not  be  thought  of. 

Very  little  time  sufficed  for  their  preparations;  and  if 
they  had  been  brought  up  under  a  certain  well-known  duke, 
they  could  not  have  exhibited  a  greater  taste  for  a  "black 
job."  The  door  of  the  room  was  quickly  taken  from  its 
hinges,  and  the  priest  placed  upon  it  at  full  length;  a 
moment  more  sufficed  to  lift  the  door  upon  their  shoulders, 
and,  preceded  by  Tom,  who  lit  a  candle  in  honor  of  being, 
as  he  said,  "chief  mourner,"  they  took  their  way  through 
the  camp  towards  Eidgeway's  quarters.  When  they  reached 
the  hut  where  their  victim  lay,  Tom  ordered  a  halt,  and  pro- 
ceeded stealthily  into  the  house  to  "reconnoitre."  The  old 
quartermaster  he  found  stretched  on  his  sheepskin  before  a 
large  fire,  the  remnants  of  an  ample  supper  strewed  about 
him,  and  two  empty  bottles  standing  on  the  hearth;  his 
deep  snoring  showed  that  all  was  safe,  and  that  no  fears  of 
his  awaking  need  disturb  them.  His  shako  and  sword  lay 
near  him,  but  his  sabretasche  was  under  his  head.  Tom 
carefully  withdrew  the  two  former,  and  hastening  to  his 
friends  without,  proceeded  to  decorate  the  priest  with  them, 
expressing,  at  the  same  time,  considerable  regret  that  he 
feared  it  might  wake  Ridgeway  if  he  were  to  put  the  vel- 
vet skull-cap  on  him  for  a  nightcap. 

Noiselessly  and  stealthily  they  now  entered,  and  pro- 
ceeded to  put  down  their  burden,  which,  after  a  moment's 
discussion,  they  agreed  to  place  between  the  quartermaster 
and  the  fire,  of  which  hitherto  he  had  reaped  ample  benefit. 
This  done,  they  quietly  retreated,  and  hurried  back  to  their 
quarters,  unable  to  speak  with  laughter  at  the  success  of 
their  plot  and  their  anticipation  of  Eidgeway's  rage  on 
awakening  in  the  morning. 

It  was  in  the  dim  twilight  of  a  hazy  morning  that  the 
bugler  of  the  8th  aroused  the  sleeping  soldiers  from  their 
miserable   couches,   which,   wretched   as   they  were,   they 


DUBLIN.  145 

nevertheless  rose  from  reluctantly,  so  wearied  and  fatigued 
had  they  been  by  the  preceding  day's  march.  Not  one 
among  the  number  felt  so  indisposed  to  stir  as  the  worthy 
quartermaster;  his  peculiar  avocations  had  demanded  a 
more  than  usual  exertion  on  his  part,  and  in  the  posture 
he  had  lain  down  at  night  he  rested  till  morning,  without 
stirring  a  limb.  Twice  the  reveille  had  rung  through  the 
little  encampment,  and  twice  the  quartermaster  had  essayed 
to  open  his  eyes,  but  in  vain ;  at  last  he  made  a  tremendous 
effort,  and  sat  bolt  upright  on  the  floor,  hoping  that  the 
sudden  effort  might  sufficiently  arouse  him.  Slowly  his 
eyes  opened,  and  the  first  thing  they  beheld  was  the  figure 
of  the  dead  priest  with  a  light  cavalry  helmet  on  his  head, 
seated  before  him.  Eidgeway,  who  was  a  good  Catholic, 
trembled  in  every  joint,  —  it  might  be  a  ghost,  it  might  be 
a  warning;  he  knew  not  what  to  think.  He  imagined  the 
lips  moved ;  and  so  overcome  with  terror  was  he  at  last  that 
he  absolutely  shouted  like  a  maniac,  and  never  ceased  till 
the  hut  was  filled  with  officers  and  men,  who,  hearing  the 
uproar,  ran  to  his  aid.  The  surprise  of  the  poor  quarter- 
master at  the  apparition  was  scarcely  greater  than  that  of 
the  beholders.  No  one  was  able  to  afford  any  explanation 
of  the  circumstance,  though  all  were  assured  that  it  must 
have  been  done  in  jest.  The  door  upon  which  the  priest 
had  been  conveyed  afforded  the  clew,  —  they  had  forgot- 
ten to  restore  it  to  its  place.  Accordingly,  the  different 
billets  were  examined,  and  at  last  0' Flaherty  was  discov- 
ered in  a  most  commodious  bed,  in  a  large  room  without  a 
door,  still  fast  asleep,  and  alone;  how  and  when  he  had 
parted  from  his  companions  he  never  could  precisely  ex- 
plain, though  he  has  since  confessed  it  was  part  of  his 
scheme  to  lead  them  astray  in  the  village,  and  then  retire 
to  the  bed,  which  he  had  determined  to  appropriate  to  his 
sole  use. 

Old  Eidgeway's  rage  knew  no  bounds;  he  absolutely 
foamed  with  passion,  and  in  proportion  as  he  was  laughed 
at  his  choler  rose  higher.  Had  this  been  the  only  result, 
it  had  been  well  for  poor  Tom ;  but  unfortunately  the  affair 

VOL.  I.  —  10 


146  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

got  to  be  rumored  through  the  country.  The  inhabitants 
of  the  village  learned  the  indignity  with  which  the  padre 
had  been  treated ;  they  addressed  a  memorial  to  Lord  Wel- 
lington. Inquiry  was  immediately  instituted;  O'Flahcrty 
was  tried  by  court-martial,  and  found  guilty.  Nothing 
short  of  the  heaviest  punishment  that  could  be  inflicted 
under  the  circumstances  would  satisfy  the  Spaniards,  and 
at  that  precise  period  it  was  part  of  our  policy  to  conciliate 
their  esteem  by  every  means  in  our  power.  The  com- 
mander-in-chief resolved  to  make  what  he  called  an  "ex- 
ample," and  poor  O'Flaherty —  the  life  and  soul  of  his 
regiment,  the  darling  of  his  mess  —  was  broke,  and  pro- 
nounced incapable  of  ever  serving  his  Majesty  again.  Such 
was  the  event  upon  which  my  poor  friend's  fortune  in  life 
seemed  to  hinge.  He  returned  to  Ireland,  if  not  entirely 
broken-hearted,  so  altered  that  his  best  friends  scarcely 
knew  him.  His  "  occupation  was  gone ; "  the  mess  had 
been  his  home;  his  brother  officers  were  to  him  in  place 
of  relatives;  and  he  had  lost  all.  His  after-life  was  spent 
in  rambling  from  one  watering-place  to  another,  —  more 
with  the  air  of  one  who  seeks  to  consume  than  enjoy  his 
time ;  and  with  such  a  change  in  appearance  as  the  altera- 
tion in  his  fortune  had  effected,  he  now  stood  before  me, 
but  altogether  so  different  a  man  that  but  for  the  well- 
known  tones  of  a  voice  that  had  often  convulsed  me  with 
laughter,  I  should  scarcely  have  recognized  him. 

"Lorrequer,  my  old  friend,  I  never  thought  of  seeing 
you  here.     This  is  indeed  a  piece  of  good  luck." 

"  Why,  Tom,  you  surely  knew  that  the  4 — th  were  in 
Ireland,  didn't  you?" 

"  To  be  sure.  I  dined  with  them  only  a  few  days  ago ; 
but  they  told  me  you  were  off  to  Paris  to  marry  something 
superlatively  beautiful  and  most  enormously  rich,  —  the 
daughter  of  a  duke,  if  I  remember  right;  but  certes,  they 
said  your  fortune  was  made,  and  I  need  not  tell  you  there 
was  not  a  man  among  them  better  pleased  than  I  was  to 
hear  it." 

"Oh!   they   said   so,    did  they?     Droll    dogs, — always 


DUBLIN.  147 

quizzing;  I  wonder  you  did  not  perceive  the  hoax,  eh? 
Very  good,  was  it  not?"  This  I  poured  out  in  short, 
broken  sentences,  blushing  like  scarlet,  and  hdgeting  like 
a  schoolgirl  with  downright  nervousness. 

"A  hoax!  Devilish  well  done  too,"  said  Tom;  "for  old 
Carden  believed  the  whole  story,  and  told  me  that  he  had 
obtained  a  six  months'  leave  for  you  to  make  your  coitr, 
and,  moreover,  said  that  he  had  got  a  letter  from  the  noble- 
man, Lord  —     Confound  his  name !  " 

"Lord  Grey,  is  it?"  said  I,  with  a  sly  look  at  Tom. 

"  No,  my  dear  friend, "  said  he,  dryly,  "  it  was  not  Lord 
Grey.  But  to  continue:  he  had  got  a  letter  from  him, 
dated  from  Paris,  stating  his  surprise  that  you  had  never 
joined  them  there,  according  to  promise,  and  that  they 
knew  your  cousin  Guy,  and  a  great  deal  of  other  matter  I 
can't  remember.  So  what  does  all  this  mean?  Did  you 
hoax  the  noble  lord  as  well  as  the  Horse  Guards,  Harry?" 

This  was  indeed  a  piece  of  news  for  me;  I  stammered 
out  some  ridiculous  explanation,  and  promised  a  fuller 
detail.  Could  it  be  that  I  had  done  the  Callonbys  injus- 
tice, and  that  they  never  intended  to  break  off  my  atten- 
tions to  Lady  Jane,  —  that  she  was  still  faithful,  and  that 
of  all  concerned,  I  alone  had  been  to  blame?  Oh!  how  I 
hoped  this  might  be  the  case;  heavily  as  my  conscience 
might  accuse,  I  longed  ardently  to  forgive  and  deal  merci- 
fully with  myself.  Tom  continued  to  talk  about  indiffer- 
ent matters,  as  these  thoughts  flitted  through  my  mind; 
perceiving  at  last  that  I  did  not  attend,  he  stopped  sud- 
denly, and  said,  — 

"Harry,  I  see  clearly  that  something  has  gone  wrong, 
and  perhaps  I  can  guess  at  the  mode  too.  But  however, 
you  can  do  nothing  about  it  now;  come  and  dine  with  me 
to-day,  and  we '11  discuss  the  affair  together  after  dinner; 
or  if  you  prefer  a  '  distraction, '  as  we  used  to  say  in  Dun- 
kerque,  why  then  I  '11  arrange  something  fashionable  for 
your  evening's  amusement.  Come,  what  say  you  to  hear- 
ing Father  Keogh  preach?  or  would  you  like  a  supper  at 
the   Carlingford?    or    perhaps    you    prefer    a   soir&e   chez 


148  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Miladi?      For    all   of    these   Dublin    affords, — all   three 
good  in  their  way,   and  very  intellectual." 

"Well,  Tom,  I'm  yours.  But  I  should  prefer  your 
dining  with  me,  —I  am  at  Bilton's;  we  '11  have  our  cutlet 
quite  alone,  and  —  " 

"And  be  heartily  sick  of  each  other,  you  were  going  to 
add.  No,  no,  Harry,  you  must  dine  with  me;  I  have  some 
remarkably  nice  people  to  present  you  to.  Six  is  the  hour, 
—  sharp  six, —number  — ,  Molesworth  Street,  Mrs.  Clan- 
frizzle's.  Easily  find  it, —large  fanlight  over  the  door, 
huge  lamp  in  the  hall,  and  a  strong  odor  of  mutton  broth 
for  thirty  yards  on  each  side  of  the  premises.  And  as  good 
luck  will  have  it,  I  see  old  Daly,  the  counsellor,  as  they 
call  him, —he's  the  very  man  to  get  to  meet  you;  you 
always  liked  a  character,  eh?" 

Saying  this,  O'Flaherty  disengaged  himself  from  my  arm 
and  hurried  across  the  street  towards  a  portly,  middle- 
aged  looking  gentleman  with  the  reddest  face  1  ever  beheld. 
After  a  brief  but  very  animated  colloquy,  Tom  returned  and 
informed  me  that  all  was  right;  he  had  secured  Daly. 

"And  who  is  Daly?"  said  I,  inquiringly,  for  I  was 
rather  interested  in  hearing  what  peculiar  qualification 
as  a  diner-out  the  counsellor  might  lay  claim  to,  many  of 
Tom's  friends  being  as  remarkable  for  being  the  quizzed 
as  the  quizzers. 

"Daly,"  said  he,  "is  the  brother  of  a  most  distinguished 
member  of  the  Irish  Bar,  of  which  he  himself  is  also  a  fol- 
lower, —  bearing,  however,  no  other  resemblance  to  the 
clever  man  than  the  name ;  for  as  assuredly  as  the  reputa- 
tion of  the  one  is  inseparably  linked  with  success,  so  uner- 
ringly is  the  other's  coupled  with  failure.  And  strange  to 
say,  the  stupid  man  is  fairly  convinced  that  his  brother 
owes  all  his  advancement  to  him,  and  that  to  his  disinter- 
ested kindness  the  other  is  indebted  for  his  present  exalted 
station.  Thus  it  is  through  life;  there  seems  ever  to 
accompany  dulness  a  sustaining  power  of  vanity  that,  like 
a  life-buoy,  keeps  a  mass  afloat  whose  weight  unassisted 
would  sink  into  obscurity.     Do  you  know  that  my  friend 


DUBLIN.  149 

Denis,  there,  imagines  himself  the  first  man  that  ever 
enlightened  Sir  Robert  Peel  as  to  Irish  affairs?  —  and  upon 
my  word,  his  reputation  on  this  head  stands  incontestably 
higher  than  on  most  others." 

"You  surely  cannot  mean  that  Sir  Robert  Peel  ever  con- 
sulted with,  much  less  relied  upon,  the  statements  of  such 
a  person  as  you  describe  your  friend  Denis  to  be?'; 

"He  did  both;  and  if  he  was  a  little  puzzled  by  the  infor- 
mation, the  only  disgrace  attaches  to  a  government  that 
sends  men  to  rule  over  us  unacquainted  with  our  habits  of 
thinking,  and  utterly  ignorant  of  the  language  —  ay,  I 
repeat  it.  But  come,  you  shall  judge  for  yourself;  the 
story  is  a  short  one,  and  fortunately  so,  for  I  must  hasten 
home  to  give  timely  notice  of  your  coining  to  dine  with  me. 
When  Sir  Robert  Peel,  then  Mr.  Peel,  came  over  here  as 
secretary  to  Ireland,  a  very  distinguished  political  leader 
of  the  day  invited  a  party  to  meet  him  at  dinner,  consist- 
ing of  men  of  different  political  leanings,  among  whom 
were,  as  may  be  supposed,  many  members  of  the  Irish  Bar. 
The  elder  Daly  was  too  remarkable  a  person  to  be  omitted, 
but  as  the  two  brothers  resided  together,  there  was  a  diffi- 
culty about  getting  him ;  however,  he  must  be  had,  and  the 
only  alternative  that  presented  itself  was  adopted,  —  both 
were  invited.  When  the  party  descended  to  the  dining- 
room,  by  one  of  those  unfortunate  accidents  which,  as  the 
proverb  informs  us,  occasionally  take  place  in  the  best  reg- 
ulated establishments,  the  wrong  Mr.  Daly  got  placed 
beside  Mr.  Peel,  —  which  post  of  honor  had  been  destined 
by  the  host  for  the  more  agreeable  and  talented  brother. 
There  was  now  no  help  for  it;  and  with  a  heart  somewhat 
nervous  for  the  consequences  of  the  proximity,  the  worthy 
entertainer  sat  down  to  do  the  honors  as  best  he  might. 
He  was  consoled  during  dinner  by  observing  that  the  devo- 
tion bestowed  by  honest  Denis  on  the  viands  before  him 
effectually  absorbed  his  faculties,  and  thereby  threw  the 
entire  of  Mr.  Peel's  conversation  towards  the  gentleman  on 
his  other  flank.  This  happiness  was,  like  most  others,  des- 
tined to  be  a  brief  one.     As  the  dessert  made  its  appear- 


150  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

ance,  Mr.  Peel  began  to  listen  with  some  attention  to  the 
conversation  of  the  persons  opposite,  with  one  of  whom  he 
was  struck  most  forcibly;  so  happy  a  power  of  illustration, 
so  vivid  a  fancy,  such  logical  precision  in  argument  as  he 
evinced,  perfectly  charmed  and  surprised  him.  Anxious  to 
learn  the  name  of  so  gifted  an  individual,  he  turned  towards 
his  hitherto  silent  neighbor,  and  demanded  who  he  was. 

"'Who  is  he,  is  it?'  said  Denis,  hesitatingly,  as  if  he 
half  doubted  such  extent  of  ignorance  as  not  to  know  the 
person  alluded  to. 

"Mr.  Peel  bowed  in  acquiescence. 

" '  That 's  Bushe ! '  said  Denis,  giving  at  the  same  time 
the  same  sound  to  the  vowel  u  as  it  obtains  when  occurring 
in  the  word  '  rush.' 

'"  I  beg  pardon,'  said  Mr.  Peel,  '  I  did  not  hear.' 

"'Bushe!'  replied  Denis,  with  considerable  energy  of 
tone. 

" '  Oh,  yes !  I  know, '  said  the  secretary,  — '  Mr.  Bushe, 
a  very  distinguished  member  of  your  Bar,  I  have  heard.' 

"'  Faith,  you  may  say  that! '  said  Denis,  tossing  off  his 
wine  at  what  he  esteemed  a  very  trite  observation. 

" '  Pray, '  said  Mr.  Peel,  again  returning  to  the  charge, 
though  certainly  feeling  not  a  little  surprised  at  the  singu- 
lar laconicism  of  his  informant,  no  less  than  the  mellifluous 
tones  of  an  accent  then  perfectly  new  to  him,  '  pray,  may 
I  ask,  what  is  the  peculiar  character  of  Mr.  Bushe's  elo- 
quence, —  I  mean,  of  course,  in  his  professional  capacity?' 

"'  Eh! '  said  Denis,  '  I  don't  comprehend  you  exactly.' 

" '  I  mean, '  said  Mr.  Peel,  '  in  one  word,  what 's  his 
forte? ' 

'"His  forte?' 

"'  T  mean  what  his  peculiar  gift  consists  in  — ' 

'"  Oh,  I  perceave;  I  have  ye  now,  — the  juries! ' 

" '  Ah !  addressing  a  jury. ' 

" '  Ay,  the  juries. ' 

" '  Can  you  oblige  me  by  giving  me  an  idea  of  the 
manner  in  which  he  obtains  such  signal  success  in  this 
difficult  branch  of  eloquence?  ' 


DUBLIN.  151 

" i  I  '11  tell  ye, '  said  Denis,  leisurely  finishing  his  glass, 
and  smacking  his  lips,  with  the  air  of  a  man  girding  up  his 
loins  for  a  mighty  effort,  '  I  '11  tell  ye.  Well,  ye  see,  the 
way  he  has  is  this, — here  Mr.  Peel's  expectation  rose  to 
the  highest  degree  of  interest,  — '  the  way  he  has  is  this,  — 
he  first  hutthers  them  up,  and  then  slithers  them  down ! 
That 's  all;  devil  a  more  of  a  secret  there  's  in  it.'  " 

How  much  reason  Denis  had  to  boast  of  imparting  early 
information  to  the  new  secretary  I  leave  my  English  read- 
ers to  guess ;  my  Irish  ones  I  may  trust  to  do  him  ample 
justice. 

My  friend  now  left  me  to  my  own  devices  to  while  away 
the  hours  till  time  to  dress  for  dinner.  Heaven  help  the 
gentleman  so  left  in  Dublin,  say  I.  It  is,  perhaps,  the  only 
city  of  its  size  in  the  world  where  there  is  no  lounge,  no 
promenade.  Very  little  experience  of  it  will  convince  you 
that  it  abounds  in  pretty  women,  and  has  its  fair  share  of 
agreeable  men;  but  where  are  they  in  the  morning?  I 
wish  Sir  Dick  Lauder,  instead  of  speculating  where  salmon 
pass  the  Christmas  holidays,  would  apply  his  most  inquir- 
ing mind  to  such  a  question  as  this.  True  it  is,  however, 
they  are  not  to  be  found.  The  squares  are  deserted,  {he 
streets  are  very  nearly  so,  and  all  that  is  left  to  the  luck- 
less wanderer  in  search  of  the  beautiful  is  to  ogle  the 
beauties  of  Dame  Street,  who  are  shopkeepers  in  Grafton 
Street,  or  the  beauties  of  Grafton  Street,  who  are  shop- 
keepers in  Dame  Street.  But,  confound  it,  how  cranky  I 
am  getting!  I  must  be  tremendously  hungry.  True,  it's 
past  six.     So  now  for  my  suit  of  sable,  and  then  to  dinner. 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

DUBLIN. THE    BOARDING-HOUSE.  —  SELECT    SOCIETY. 

Punctual  to  my  appointment  with  0' Flaherty,  I  found 
myself,  a  very  few  minutes  after  six  o'clock,  at  Mrs.  Clan- 
frizzle's  door.  My  veiy  authoritative  summons  at  the  bell 
was  answered  by  the  appearance  of  a  young,  pale-faced 
invalid  in  a  suit  of  livery,  the  taste  of  which  bore  a  very 
unpleasant  resemblance  to  the  one  I  so  lately  figured  in. 
It  was  with  considerable  difficulty  I  persuaded  this  func- 
tionary to  permit  my  carrying  my  hat  with  me  to  the  draw- 
ing-room, —  a  species  of  caution  on  my  part,  as  he  esteemed 
it,  savoring  much  of  distrust.  This  point,  however,  I  car- 
ried, and  followed  him  up  a  very  ill-lighted  stair  to  the 
drawing-room.  Here  I  was  announced  by  some  faint  resem- 
blance to  my  real  name,  but  sufficiently  near  to  bring  my 
friend  Tom  at  once  to  meet  me,  who  immediately  congrat- 
ulated me  on  my  fortune  in  coming  off  so  well,  for  that  the 
person  who  preceded  me,  Mr.  Jones  Blennerhasset,  had 
been  just  announced  as  Mr.  Blatherhashit,  —  a  change  the 
gentleman  himself  was  not  disposed  to  adopt.  "But  come 
along,  Harry ;  while  we  are  waiting  for  Daly,  let  me  make 
you  known  to  some  of  our  party.  This,  you  must  know,  is 
a  boarding-house,  and  always  has  some  capital  fun,  — 
queerest  people  you  ever  met.  I  have  only  one  hint :  cut 
every  man,  woman,  and  child  of  them,  if  you  meet  them 
hereafter ;  I  do  it  myself,  though  I  have  lived  here  these 
six  months."  Pleasant  people,  thought  I,  these  must  be, 
with  whom  such  a  line  is  advisable,  much  less  practicable. 

"Mrs.  Clanfrizzle,  my  friend  Mr.  Lorrequer;  thinks 
he  '11  stay  the  summer  in  town.  Mrs.  Clan,  should  like 
him  to  be  one  of  us."     The  latter  was  said  sotto  voce,  and 


DUBLIN.  153 

was  a  practice  lie  continued  to  adopt  in  presenting  me  to 
his  several  friends  through  the  room. 

"Miss  Riley,"  —  a  horrid  old  fright  in  a  bird  of  paradise 
plume  and  corked  eyebrows,  gibbeted  in  gilt  chains  and 
pearl  ornaments,  and  looking,  as  the  grisettes  say,  sujjerbe 
en  chnjsolithe,  —  "  Miss  Riley,  Captain  Lorrequer,  —  a 
friend  I  have  long  desired  to  present  to  you.  Fifteen 
thousand  a  year  and  a  baronetcy,  if  he  has  sixpence,"  — 
sotto  again.  "Surgeon  M'Culloch, — he  likes  the  title," 
said  Tom,  in  a  whisper,  —  "  Surgeon,  Captain  Lorrequer. 
By  the  by,  lest  I  forget  it,  he  wishes  to  speak  to  you  in  the 
morning  about  his  health;  he  is  stopping  at  Sandymount 
for  the  baths, — you  could  go  out  there,  eh?"  The  tall 
thing  in  green  spectacles  bowed,  and  acknowledged  Tom's 
kindness  by  a  knowing  touch  of  the  elbow.  In  this  way  he 
made  the  tour  of  the  room  for  about  ten  minutes,  during 
which  brief  space  I  was,  according  to  the  kind  arrange- 
ments of  O'Flaherty,  booked  as  a  resident  in  the  boarding- 
house,  a  lover  to  at  least  five  elderly  and  three  young  ladies, 
a  patient,  a  client,  a  second  in  a  duel  to  a  clerk  in  the  Post- 
office,  and  had  also  volunteered  (through  him  always)  to 
convey,  by  all  of  his  Majesty's  mails,  as  many  parcels, 
packets,  band-boxes,  and  bird-cages  as  would  have  com- 
fortably filled  one  of  Pickford's  vans.  All  this  he  told  me 
was  requisite  to  my  being  well  received,  though  no  one 
thought  much  of  any  breach  of  compact  subsequently,  ex- 
cept Mrs.  Clan  herself.  The  ladies  had,  alas!  been  often 
treated  vilely  before ;  the  doctor  had  never  had  a  patient ; 
and  as  for  the  belligerent  knight  of  the  dead  office,  he  'd 
rather  have  died  than  fought  any  day. 

The  last  person  to  whom  my  friend  deemed  it  necessary 
to  introduce  me  was  a  Mr.  Garret  Cudmore,  from  the  Reeks 
on  Kerry,  lately  matriculated  to  all  the  honors  of  freshman- 
ship  in  the  Dublin  University.  This  latter  was  a  low-sized, 
dark -browed  man,  with  round  shoulders  and  particularly 
long  arms,  the  disposal  of  which  seemed  sadly  to  distress 
him.  He  possessed  the  most  perfect  brogue  I  ever  listened 
to ;  but  it  was  difficult  to  get  him  to  speak,  for  on  coming 


154  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

up  to  town  some  weeks  before,  he  had  been  placed  by  some 
intelligent  friend  at  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  establishment,  with 
the  express  direction  to  mark  and  thoroughly  digest  as  much 
as  he  could  of  the  habits  and  customs  of  the  circle  about 
him,  which  he  was  rightly  informed  was  the  very  focus  of 
good-breeding  and  haut  ton,  but  on  no  account,  unless 
driven  thereto  by  the  pressure  of  sickness  or  the  wants  of 
nature,  to  trust  himself  with  speech,  which,  in  his  then 
unformed  state,  he  was  assured  would  inevitably  ruin 
him  among  his  fastidiously  cultivated  associates. 

To  the  letter  and  the  spirit  of  the  despatch  he  had 
received,  the  worthy  Garret  acted  rigidly;  and  his  voice 
was  scarcely  ever  known  to  transgress  the  narrow  limits 
prescribed  by  his  friends.  In  inure  respects  than  one  was 
this  a  good  resolve;  for  so  completely  had  he  identified 
himself  with  college  habits,  things,  and  phrases,  that  when- 
ever he  conversed,  he  became  little  short  of  unintelligible 
to  the  vulgar, — a  difficulty  not  lessened  by  his  peculiar 
pronunciation. 

My  round  of  presentation  was  just  completed,  when  the 
pale  figure  in  light-blue  livery  announced  Counsellor  1  )aly 
and  dinner;  for  both  came  fortunately  together.  Taking 
the  post  of  honor,  Miss  Riley's  arm,  I  followed  Tom,  who 
I  soon  perceived  ruled  the  whole  concern,  as  he  led  the  way 
with  another  ancient  vestal  in  black  satin  and  bugles.  The 
long  procession  wound  its  snake-like  length  down  the  nar- 
row stair  and  into  the  dining-room,  where  at  last  we  all  got 
seated.  And  here  let  me  briefly  vindicate  the  motives  of 
my  friend.  Should  any  unkind  person  be  found  to  impute 
to  his  selection  of  a  residence  any  base  and  grovelling  pas- 
sion for  "gourmandise,"  that  day's  experience  should  be 
an  eternal  vindication  of  him.  The  soup  —  alas!  that  I 
should  so  far  prostitute  the  word,  for  the  black  broth  of 
Sparta  was  mock-turtle  in  comparison  —  retired  to  make 
way  for  a  mass  of  beef,  whose  tenderness  I  did  not  ques- 
tion,  for  it  sank  beneath  the  knife  of  the  carver  like  a 
feather-bed, — the  skill  of  Saladin  himself  would  have 
failed  to  divide  it;  the  fish  was  a  most  rebellious  pike, 


DUBLIN.  155 

and  nearly  killed  every  loyal  subject  at  table;  and  then 
down  the  sides  were  various  dishes  of  chickens  with  azure 
bosoms,  and  hams  with  hides  like  a  rhinoceros;  covered 
"  decoys "  of  decomposed  vegetable  matter  called  spinach 
and  cabbage;  potatoes  arrayed  in  small  masses  and  browned, 
resembling  those  ingenious  architectural  structures  of  mud 
children  raise  in  the  highways  and  call  dirt-pies.  Such 
were  the  chief  constituents  of  the  "feed;"  and  such,  I  am 
bound  to  confess,  waxed  beautifully  less  under  the  vigorous 
onslaught  of  the  party. 

The  conversation  soon  became  both  loud  and  general. 
That  happy  familiarity  which  I  had  long  believed  to  be  the 
exclusive  prerogative  of  a  military  mess,  where  constant 
daily  association  sustains  the  interest  of  the  veriest  trifles, 
I  here  found  in  a  perfection  I  had  not  anticipated,  —  with 
this  striking  difference,  that  there  was  no  absurd  deference 
to  any  existing  code  of  etiquette  in  the  conduct  of  the  party 
generally,  each  person  quizzing  his  neighbor  in  the  most 
free-and-easy  style  imaginable,  and  all,  evidently  from  long 
habit  and  conventional  usage,  seeming  to  enjoy  the  practice 
exceedingly.  Thus,  droll  allusions,  good  stories,  and  smart 
repartees  fell  thick  as  hail  and  twice  as  harmless,  which, 
anywhere  else  that  I  had  ever  heard  of,  would  assuredly 
have  called  for  more  explanations,  and  perhaps  gunpowder, 
in  the  morning  than  usually  are  deemed  agreeable.  Here, 
however,  they  knew  better;  and  though  the  lawyer  quizzed 
the  doctor  for  never  having  another  patient  than  the  house- 
dog, all  of  whose  arteries  he  had  tied  in  the  course  of  the 
winter  for  practice,  and  the  doctor  retorted  as  heavily  by 
showing  that  the  lawyer's  practice  had  been  other  than 
beneficial  to  those  for  whom  he  was  concerned,  his  one  client 
being  found  guilty  mainly  through  his  ingenious  defence  of 
him,  — yet  they  never  showed  any,  the  slightest  irritation; 
on  the  contrary,  such  little  playful  badinage  ever  led  to 
some  friendly  passages  of  taking  wine  together,  or  in 
arrangements  for  a  party  to  the  "Dargle"  or  "Dunleary." 
And  thus  went  on  the  entire  party,  the  young  ladies  dart- 
ing an   occasional   slight  at   their   elders,  who   certainly 


156  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

returned  the  fire  often  with  advantage;  all  uniting  now 
and  then,  however,  in  one  common  cause,  —  an  attack  of  the 
whole  line  upon  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle  herself  for  the  beef  or  the 
mutton  or  the  fish  or  the  poultry,  each  of  which  was  sure  to 
find  some  sturdy  defamer  ready  and  willing  to  give  evidence 
in  dispraise.  Yet  even  these  —  and  I  thought  them  rather 
dangerous  sallies  —  led  to  no  more  violent  results  than  dig- 
nified replies  from  the  worthy  hostess  upon  the  goodness  of 
her  fare  and  the  evident  satisfaction  it  afforded  while  being 
eaten,  if  the  appetites  of  the  party  were  a  test.  While  this 
was  at  its  height,  Tom  stooped  behind  my  chair  and  wins- 
pered  gently,  — 

"This  is  good,  isn't  it,  eh?  —  life  in  a  boarding-house; 
quite  new  to  you.  But  they  are  civilized  now,  compared 
to  what  you  will  find  them  in  the  drawing-room.  When 
short  whist  for  fivepenny  points  sets  in,  then  Greek  meets 
Greek,  and  we  '11  have  it." 

During  all  this  m&lee  tournament,  I  perceived  that  the 
worthy  "jib,"  as  he  would  be  called  in  the  parlance  of  Trin- 
ity, Mr.  Cudmore,  remained  perfectly  silent  and  apparently 
terrified.  The  noise,  the  din  of  voices,  and  the  laughing 
so  completely  addled  him  that  he  was  like  one  in  a  very 
horrid  dream.  The  attention  with  which  I  had  observed 
him  having  been  remarked  by  my  friend  O'Flaherty,  he 
informed  me  that  the  scholar,  as  he  was  called  there,  was 
then  under  a  kind  of  cloud,  —  an  adventure  which  occurred 
only  two  nights  before  being  too  fresh  in  his  memory  to 
permit  him  enjoying  himself  even  to  the  limited  extent  it 
had  been  his  wont  to  do.  As  illustrative,  not  only  of  Mr. 
Cudmore,  but  the  life  I  have  been  speaking  of,  I  may  as 
well  relate  it. 

Soon  after  Mr.  Cudmore's  enlistment  under  the  banners 
of  the  Clanfrizzle,  he  had  sought  and  found  an  asylum  in 
the  drawing-room  of  the  establishment,  which  promised, 
from  its  geographical  relations,  to  expose  him  less  to  the 
molestations  of  conversation  than  most  other  parts  of  the 
room.  This  was  a  small  recess  beside  the  fireplace,  not 
uncommon  in  old-fashioned  houses,  and  which,  from  its 


DUBLIN.  157 

incapacity  to  hold  more  than  one,  secured  to  the  worthy 
recluse  the  privacy  he  longed  for ;  and  here,  among  super- 
annuated hearth-brushes,  an  old  hand-screen,  an  asthmatic 
bellows,  and  a  kettle-holder,  sat  the  timid  youth,  "  alone, 
but  in  a  crowd."  Not  all  the  seductions  of  loo,  limited  to 
threepence,  nor  even  that  most  appropriately  designated 
game,  beggar-my-neighbor,  could  withdraw  him  from  his 
blest  retreat.  Like  his  countryman,  Saint  Kevin,  —  my 
friend  Petrie  has  ascertained  that  the  saint  was  a  native 
of  Tralee,  —  he  fled  from  the  temptations  of  the  world  and 
the  blandishments  of  the  fair ;  but  alas !  like  the  saint  him- 
self, the  — 

"poor  'jib'  little  knew 

All  that  wily  sex  can  do ;  " 

for  while  he  hugged  himself  in  the  security  of  his  fortress, 
the  web  of  his  destiny  was  weaving.  So  true  is  it,  as  he 
himself  used,  no  less  pathetically  than  poetically,  to  express 
it,  "  Misfortune  will  find  you  out  if  ye  were  hid  in  a  tay- 
chest." 

It  happened  that  in  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  establishment  the 
enfant  bleu  already  mentioned  was  the  only  individual  of 
his  sex  retained;  and  without  for  a  moment  disparaging 
the  ability  or  attentions  of  this  gifted  person,  yet  it  may 
reasonably  be  credited  that  in  waiting  on  a  party  of  twenty- 
five  or  thirty  persons  at  dinner,  all  of  whom  he  had  ad- 
mitted as  porter  and  announced  as  mattre  d' hotel,  with  the 
subsequent  detail  of  his  duties  in  the  drawing-room,  Peter, 
—  Blue  Peter,  his  boarding-house  sobriquet,  —  not  enjoying 
the  bird-like  privilege  of  "being  in  two  places  at  once," 
gave  one  rather  the  impression  of  a  person  of  hasty  and 
fidgety  habits,  for  which  nervous  tendency  the  treatment 
he  underwent  was  certainly  injudicious,  —  it  being  the 
invariable  custom  for  each  guest  to  put  his  services  in 
requisition,  perfectly  irrespective  of  all  other  claims  upon 
him,  from  whatsoever  quarter  coming ;  and  then  at  the  pre- 
cise moment  that  the  luckless  valet  was  snuffing  the  candles, 
he  was  abused  by  one  for  not  bringing  coal ;  by  another  for 
having  carried  off  his  teacup,  sent  on  an  expedition  for 


158  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

sugar ;  by  a  third  for  having  left  the  door  open,  which  he 
had  never  been  near;  and  so  on  to  the  end  of  the  chapter. 

It  chanced  that  a  few  evenings  previous  to  my  appearance 
at  the  house,  this  indefatigable  Caleb  was  ministering  as 
usual  to  the  various  and  discrepant  wants  of  the  large  party 
assembled  in  the  drawing-room.  With  his  wonted  alacrity, 
he  had  withdrawn  from  their  obscure  retreat  against  the 
wall  sundry  little  tables,  destined  for  the  players  at  whist, 
or  "spoil  five," — the  popular  game  of  the  establishment. 
With  a  dexterity  that  savored  much  of  a  stage  education, 
he  had  arranged  the  candles,  the  cards,  the  counters;  he 
had  poked  the  fire,  settled  the  stool  for  Miss  Eiley's  august 
feet,  and  was  busily  engaged  in  changing  five  shillings  into 
small  silver  for  a  desperate  victim  of  loo,  when  Mrs.  Clan- 
frizzle's  third,  and,  as  it  appeared,  last  time  of  asking  for 
the  kettle  smote  upon  his  ear.  His  loyalty  would  have 
induced  him  at  once  to  desert  everything  on  such  an  occa- 
sion; but  the  other  party  engaged  held  him  fast,  saying,  — 

"Never  mind  her,  Peter;  you  have  sixpence  more  to 
give  me." 

Poor  Peter  rummaged  one  pocket,  then  another,  discov- 
ering at  last  threepence  in  copper  and  some  farthings,  with 
which  he  seemed  endeavoring  to  make  a  composition  with 
his  creditor  for  twelve  shillings  in  the  pound;  when,  Mrs. 
Clan's  patience  finally  becoming  exhausted,  she  turned 
towards  Mr.  Cudmore,  the  only  unemployed  person  she 
could  perceive,  and  with  her  blandest  smile  said,  — 

"Mr.  Cudmore,  may  I  take  the  liberty  of  requesting  you 
would  hand  me  the  kettle  beside  you?" 

Now,  though  the  kettle  aforesaid  was,  as  the  hostess  very 
properly  observed,  beside  him,  yet  the  fact  that  in  comply- 
ing with  the  demand  it  was  necessary  for  the  bashful  youth 
to  leave  the  recess  he  occupied,  and,  with  the  kettle,  pro- 
ceed to  walk  half  across  the  room,  there  to  perform  certain 
manual  operations  requiring  skill  and  presence  of  mind 
before  a  large  and  crowded  assembly,  was  horror  to  the 
mind  of  the  poor  jib,  and  he  would  nearly  as  soon  have 
acceded  to  a  desire  to  dance  a  hornpipe,  if  such  had  been 


DUBLIN.  159 

suggested  as  the  wish  of  the  company.  However,  there 
was  nothing  for  it,  and  summoning  up  all  his  nerve,  knit- 
ting his  brows,  clenching  his  teeth  like  one  prepared  to 
"do  or  die,"  he  seized  the  hissing  caldron  and  strode 
through  the  room  like  the  personified  genius  of  steam,  — 
very  much  to  the  alarm  of  all  the  old  ladies  in  the  vicinity, 
whose  tasteful  drapery  benefited  but  little  from  his  pro- 
gress. Yet  he  felt  but  little  of  all  this ;  he  had  brought  up 
his  courage  to  the  sticking  place,  and  he  was  absolutely 
half  unconscious  of  the  whole  scene  before  him.  Nor  was 
it  till  some  kind  mediator  had  seized  his  arm,  while  another 
drew  him  back  by  the  skirts  of  the  coat,  that  he  desisted 
from  the  deluge  of  hot  water  with  which,  having  filled  the 
tea-pot,  he  proceeded  to  swamp  everything  else  upon  the 
tray,  in  his  unfortunate  abstraction.  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle 
screamed ;  the  old  ladies  accompanied  her ;  the  young  ones 
tittered ;  the  men  laughed ;  and  in  a  word,  poor  Cudmore, 
perfectly  unconscious  of  anything  extraordinary,  felt  him- 
self the  admired  of  all  admirers,  — very  little,  it  is  true,  to 
his  own  satisfaction.  After  some  few  minutes'  exposure  to 
these  signs  of  mirth,  he  succeeded  in  depositing  the  source 
of  his  griefs  within  the  fender,  and  once  more  retired  to 
his  sanctuary,  having  registered  a  vow  which,  should  I 
speak  it,  would  forfeit  his  every  claim  to  gallantry  forever. 
Whether,  in  the  vow  aforesaid,  Mr.  Cudmore  had  only 
been  engaged  in  that  species  of  tessellation  which  furnishes 
the  pavement  so  celebrated  in  the  lower  regions,  I  know 
not ;  but  true  it  is  that  he  retired  that  night  to  his  chamber 
very  much  discomfited  at  his  debut  in  the  great  world,  and 
half  disposed  to  believe  that  Nature  had  intended  him  for 
neither  a  Brummell  nor  a  D'Orsay.  While  he  was  rumi- 
nating on  such  matters,  he  was  joined  by  O'Flaherty,  with 
whom  he  had  been  always  more  intimate  than  any  other 
inmate  of  the  house,  Tom's  tact  having  entirely  concealed 
what  the  manners  of  the  others  too  plainly  evinced,  —  a 
perfect  appreciation  of  the  student's  oddity  and  singular- 
ity. After  some  few  observations  on  general  matters, 
O'Flaherty  began,  with  a  tone   of   some   seriousness,   to 


160  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

express  towards  Cudmore  the  warm  interest  he  had  ever 
taken  in  him  since  his  first  coming  among  them,  his  great 
anxiety  for  his  welfare,  and  his  firm  resolve  that  no  chance 
or  casual  inattention  to  mere  ceremonial  observances  on  his 
part  should  ever  be  seized  on  by  the  other  guests  as  a 
ground  for  detraction  or  an  excuse  for  ridicule  of  him. 

"Rely  upon  it,  my  dear  boy,"  said  he,  "I  have  watched 
over  you  like  a  parent;  and  having  partly  foreseen  that 
something  like  this  affair  of  to-night  would  take  place 
sooner  or  later  —  " 

"What  affair?"  said  Cudmore,  his  eyes  staring  half  out 
of  his  head. 

"The  business  of  the  kettle." 

"Kett— el.    The  kettle!     What  of  that?"  said  Cudmore. 

"  What  of  it?  Why,  if  you  don't  feel  it,  I  am  sure  it  is 
not  my  duty  to  remind  you ;  only  —  " 

"  Feel  it,  oh,  yes !  I  saw  them  laughing  because  I  spilled 
the  water  over  old  Mrs.  Jones,  or  something  of  that  sort." 

"No,  no,  my  dear  young  friend,  they  were  not  laughing 
at  that,  — their  mirth  had  another  object." 

"What  the  devil  was  it  at,  then?" 

"  You  don't  know,  don't  you?  " 

"No,  I  really  do  not." 

"Nor  can't  guess,  eh?" 

"Confound  me  if  I  can." 

"  Well,  I  see,  Mr.  Cudmore,  you  are  really  too  innocent 
for  these  people.  But  come;  it  shall  never  be  said  that 
youth  and  inexperience  ever  suffered  from  the  unworthy 
ridicule  and  cold  sarcasm  of  the  base  world  while  Tom 
O'Flaherty  stood  by  a  spectator.  Sir,"  said  Tom,  strik- 
ing his  hand  with  energy  on  the  table,  and  darting  a 
look  of  fiery  indignation  from  his  eye,  "sir,  you  were 
this  night  trepanned,  —  yes,  sir,  vilely,  shamefully  tre- 
panned —  I  repeat  the  expression  —  into  the  performance 
of  a  menial  office,  —  an  office  so  degrading,  so  offensive, 
so  unbecoming  the  rank,  the  station,  and  the  habits  of 
gentlemen,  my  very  blood  recoils  when  I  only  think  of 
the  indignity." 


DUBLIN.  161 

The  expression  of  increasing  wonder  and  surprise  de- 
picted in  Mr.  Cudmore's  face  at  these  words,  my  friend 
Phiz  might  convey,  —  I  cannot  venture  to  describe  it ;  suf- 
fice it  to  say  that  even  0' Flaherty  himself  found  it  difficult 
to  avoid  a  burst  of  laughter  as  he  looked  at  him  and 
resumed,  — 

"Witnessing,  as  I  did,  the  entire  occurrence,  feeling 
deeply  for  the  inexperience  which  the  heartless  worldlings 
had  dared  to  trample  upon,  I  resolved  to  stand  by  you,  and 
here  I  am  come  for  that  purpose." 

"Well,  but  what  in  the  devil's  name  have  I  done  all  this 
time?" 

"What!  are  you  still  ignorant?  Is  it  possible?  Did 
you  not  hand  the  kettle  from  the  fireplace,  and  fill  the 
teapot?     Answer  me  that." 

"I  did,"  said  Cudmore,  with  a  voice  already  becoming 
tremulous. 

"Is  that  the  duty  of  a  gentleman?     Answer  me  that." 

A  dead  pause  stood  in  place  of  a  reply,  while  Tom 
proceeded, — 

"  Did  you  ever  hear  any  one  ask  me,  or  Counsellor  Daly, 
or  Mr.  Fogarty,  or  any  other  person  to  do  so?  Answer  me 
that." 

"  No,  never, "  muttered  Cudmore,  with  a  sinking  spirit. 

"  Well,  then,  why,  may  I  ask,  were  you  selected  for  that 
office,  that,  by  your  own  confession,  no  one  else  would  stoop 
to  perform?  I  '11  tell  you,  — because,  from  your  youth  and 
inexperience,  your  innocence  was  deemed  a  fit  victim  to  the 
heartless  sneers  of  a  cold  and  unfeeling  world."  And  here 
Tom  broke  forth  into  a  very  beautiful  apostrophe,  begin- 
ning, "  Oh,  virtue !  "  —  this  I  am  unfortunately  unable  to 
present  to  my  readers,  and  must  only  assure  them  that  it 
was  a  very  faithful  imitation  of  the  well-known  one  deliv- 
ered by  Burke  in  the  case  of  Warren  Hastings,  —  and  con- 
cluding with  an  exhortation  to  Cudmore  to  wipe  out  the 
stain  of  his  wounded  honor  by  repelling  with  indignation 
the  slightest  future  attempt  at  such  an  insult. 

This  done,  0 'Flaherty  retired,  leaving  Cudmore  to  dig 

VOL.  I. 11 


102  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

among  Greek  roots  and  chew  over  the  cud  of  his  misfortune. 
Punctual  to  the  time  and  place,  that  same  evening  beheld 
the  injured  Cudmore  resume  his  wonted  corner,  pretty 
much  with  the  feeling  with  which  a  forlorn  hope  stands, 
match  in  hand,  to  ignite  the  train  destined  to  explode  with 
ruin  to  thousands,  — himself,  perhaps,  among  the  number. 
There  he  sat,  with  a  brain  as  burning  and  a  heart  as  excited 
as  though,  instead  of  sipping  his  bohea  beside  a  sea-coal 
fire,  he  was  that  instant  trembling  beneath  the  frown  of 
Dr.  Elrington  for  the  blunders  in  his  Latin  theme,  —  and 
what  terror  to  the  mind  of  a  "jib"  can  equal  that  one? 

As  luck  would  have  it,  this  was  a  company  night  in  the 
boarding-house.  Various  young  ladies,  in  long  blue  sashes 
and  very  broad  ribbon  sandals,  paraded  the  rooms,  chat- 
ting gayly  with  very  distinguished-looking  young  gentle- 
men with  gold  brooches  and  party-colored  inside  waistcoats ; 
sundry  elderly  ladies  sat  at  card -tables,  discussing  the  "  lost 
honor  by  an  odd  trick  they  played,"  with  heads  as  large  as 
those  of  Jack  or  Jill  in  the  pantomime;  spruce  clerks  in 
public  offices  (whose  vocation  the  expansive  tendency  of 
the  right  ear,  from  long  pen-carrying,  betokened)  discussed 
fashion  "  and  the  musical  glasses "  to  some  very  over- 
dressed married  ladies  who  preferred  flirting  to  five-and- 
ten.  The  tea-table,  over  which  the  amiable  hostess 
presided,  had  also  its  standing  votaries, — mostly  grave 
parliamentary-looking  gentlemen,  with  powdered  heads 
and  very  long-waisted  black  coats,  among  whom  the  Sir 
Oracle  was  a  functionary  of  his  Majesty's  High  Court  of 
Chancery,  though,  I  have  reason  to  believe,  not  Lord  Man- 
ners. Meanwhile,  in  all  parts  of  the  room  might  be  seen 
Blue  Peter  distributing  tea,  coffee,  and  biscuit,  and  occa- 
sionally interchanging  a  joke  with  the  dwellers  in  the 
house.  "While  all  these  pleasing  occupations  proceeded, 
the  hour  of  Cudmore's  trial  was  approaching.  The  teapot, 
which  had  stood  the  attack  of  fourteen  cups  without  flinch- 
ing, at  last  began  to  fail,  and  discovered  to  the  prying  eyes 
of  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle  nothing  but  an  olive-colored  deposit  of 
soft  matter  closely  analogous  in  appearance  and  chemical 


DUBLIN.  163 

property  to  the  residuary  precipitate  in  a  drained  fish- 
pond; she  put  down  the  lid  with  a  gentle  sigh,  and  turn- 
ing towards  the  fire,  bestowed  one  of  her  very  blandest  and 
most  captivating  looks  on  Mr.  Cudmore,  saying  as  plainly 
as  looks  could  say,  "Cudmore,  you're  wanting."  Whether 
the  youth  did,  or  did  not,  understand,  I  am  unable  to 
record;  I  can  only  say  the  appeal  was  made  without 
acknowledgment.  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle  again  essayed,  and  by 
a  little  masonic  movement  of  her  hand  to  the  teapot,  and  a 
sly  glance  at  the  hob,  intimated  her  wish,  —  still  hopelessly. 
At  last  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  speaking;  and  she 
donned  her  very  softest  voice  and  most  persuasive  tone, 
saying,  "Mr.  Cudmore,  I  am  really  very  troublesome;  will 
you  permit  me  to  ask  you  —  " 

"Is  it  for  the  kettle,  ma'am?"  said  Cudmore,  with  a 
voice  that  startled  the  whole  room,  disconcerting  three 
whist-parties,  and  so  absorbing  the  attention  of  the  people 
at  loo  that  the  pool  disappeared  without  any  one  being  able 
to  account  for  the  circumstance,  — "  is  it  for  the  kettle, 
ma'am?" 

"If  you  will  be  so  very  kind,"  lisped  the  hostess. 

"Well,  then,  upon  my  conscience,  you  are  impudent," 
said  Cudmore,  with  his  face  crimsoned  to  the  ears,  and  his 
eyes  flashing  fire. 

"Why,  Mr.  Cudmore,"  began  the  lady,  "why,  really, 
this  is  so  strange!     Why,  sir,  what  can  you  mean?" 

"Just  that,"  said  the  imperturbable  jib,  who,  now  his 
courage  was  up,  dared  everything. 

"But,  sir,  you  must  surely  have  misunderstood  me.  I 
only  asked  for  the  kettle,  Mr.  Cudmore." 

"The  devil  a  more,"  said  Cud,  with  a  sneer. 

"  Well,  then,  of  course  —  " 

"Well,  then,  I'll  tell  you,  of  coorse,"  said  he  repeating 
her  words,  "the  sorrow  taste  of  the  kettle  I'll  give  you. 
Call  your  own  skip,  — Blue  Pether  there;  damn  me  if  I '11 
be  your  skip  any  longer !  " 

For  the  uninitiated,  I  have  only  to  add  that  "  skip  "  is  the 
Trinity  College  appellation  for  servant,  which  was  there- 


164  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

fore  employed  by  Mr.  Cudmore  on  this  occasion  as  express- 
ing more  contemptuously  his  sense  of  the  degradation  of 
the  office  attempted  to  be  put  upon  him.  Having  already 
informed  my  reader  on  some  particulars  of  the  company,  I 
leave  him  to  suppose  how  Mr.  Cudmore's  speech  was  re- 
ceived. Whist  itself  was  at  an  end  for  that  evening,  and 
nothing  but  laughter,  long,  loud,  and  reiterated,  burst  from 
every  corner  of  the  room  for  hours  after. 

As  I  have  so  far  travelled  out  of  the  record  of  my  own 
peculiar  Confessions  as  to  give  a  leaf  from  what  might  one 
day  form  the  matter  of  Mr.  Cudmore's,  I  must  now  make 
the  only  amende  in  my  power,  by  honestly  narrating  that 
short  as  my  visit  was  to  the  classic  precincts  of  this  agree- 
able establishment,  I  did  not  escape  without  exciting  my 
share  of  ridicule,  though  I  certainly  had  not  the  worst  of 
the  joke,  and  may  therefore  with  better  grace  tell  the  story, 
which,  happily  for  my  readers,  is  a  short  one.  A  custom 
prevailed  in  Mrs.  Clanfrizzle's  household  which,  from  my 
unhappy  ignorance  of  boarding-houses,  I  am  unable  to  pred- 
icate if  it  belong  to  the  genera  at  large  or  this  one  specimen 
in  particular ;  however,  it  is  a  sufficently  curious  fact,  even 
though  thereby  hang  no  tale  for  my  stating  it  here.  The 
decanters  on  the  dinner-table  were  never  labelled  with  their 
more  appropriate  designation  of  contents,  whether  claret, 
sherry,  or  port,  but  with  the  names  of  their  respective 
owners,  it  being  a  matter  of  much  less  consequence  that  any 
individual  at  table  should  mix  his  wine  by  pouring  "port 
upon  madeira,"  than  commit  the  truly  legal  offence  of  ap- 
propriating to  his  own  use  and  benefit,  even  by  mistake,  his 
neighbor's  bottle.  However  well  the  system  may  work 
among  the  regular  members  of  the  "domestic  circle,"  — 
and  I  am  assured  that  it  does  succeed  extremely,  —  to  the 
newly  arrived  guest  or  uninitiated  visitor  the  affair  is  per- 
plexing, and  leads  occasionally  to  awkward  results. 

It  so  chanced,  from  my  friend  O'Flaherty's  habitual 
position  at  the  foot  of  the  table,  and  my  post  of  honor  near 
the  head,  that  on  the  first  day  of  my  appearing  there,  the 
distance  between  us  not  only  precluded  close  intercourse, 


DUBLIN.  165 

but  any  of  those  gentle  hints  as  to  habits  and  customs  a 
new  arrival  looks  for  at  the  hands  of  his  better-informed 
friend.  The  only  mode  of  recognition,  to  prove  that  we 
belonged  to  each  other,  being  by  that  excellent  and  truly 
English  custom  of  drinking  wine  together,  Tom  seized  the 
first  idle  moment  from  his  avocation  as  carver  to  say,  — 

"Lorrequer,  a  glass  of  wine  with  you." 

Having,  of  course,  acceded,  he  again  asked,  — 

"What  wine  do  you  drink?"  intending  thereby,  as  I 
afterwards  learned,  to  send  me  from  his  end  of  the  table 
what  wine  I  selected.  Not  conceiving  the  object  of  the 
inquiry,  and  having  hitherto,  without  hesitation,  helped 
myself  from  the  decanter  which  bore  some  faint  resem- 
blance to  sherry,  I  immediately  turned  for  correct  informa- 
tion to  the  bottle  itself,  upon  whose  slender  neck  was 
ticketed  the  usual  slip  of  paper.  My  endeavors  to  deci- 
pher the  writing  occupied  time  sufficient  again  to  make 
0' Flaherty  ask,  — 

"  Well,  Harry,  I  Jm  waiting  for  you.  Will  you  have 
claret?" 

"No,  I  thank  you,"  I  replied,  having  by  this  revealed 
the  inscription,  — "no,  I  thank  you;  I  '11  just  stick  to  my 
old  friend  here,  Bob  M'Grotty," —  for  thus  I  rendered 
familiarly  the  name  of  Kt.  M'Grotty  on  the  decanter,  and 
which  I,  in  my  ignorance,  believed  to  be  the  boarding- 
house  sobriquet  for  bad  sherry.  That  Mr.  M'Grotty  him- 
self little  relished  my  familiarity  with  either  his  name  or 
property  I  had  a  very  decisive  proof,  for,  turning  round 
upon  his  chair,  and  surveying  my  person  from  head  to  foot 
with  a  look  of  fiery  wrath,  he  thundered  out  in  very  broad 
Scotch,  — 

"  And  by  my  saul,  my  freend,  ye  may  just  as  weel  finish 
it  noo,  for  deil  a  glass  o'  his  ain  wine  did  Bob  M'Grotty,  as 
ye  ca'  him,  swallow  this  day." 

The  convulsion  of  laughter  into  which  my  blunder  and 
the  Scotchman's  passion  threw  the  whole  board  lasted  till 
the  cloth  was  withdrawn  and  the  ladies  had  retired  to  the 
drawing-room,  the  only  individual  at  table  not  relishing 


166  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  mistake  being  the  injured  proprietor  of  the  bottle,  who 
was  too  proud  to  accept  reparation  from  my  friend's  decan- 
ter, and  would  scarcely  condescend  to  open  his  lips  during 
the  evening ;  notwithstanding  which  display  of  honest  in- 
dignation, we  contrived  to  become  exceedingly  merry  and 
jocose,  most  of  the  party  communicating  little  episodes  of 
their  life,  in  which,  it  is  true,  they  frequently  figured  in 
situations  that  nothing  but  their  native  and  natural  candor 
would  venture  to  avow.  One  story  I  was  considerably 
amused  at;  it  was  told  by  the  counsellor,  Mr.  Daly,  in 
illustration  of  the  difficulty  of  rising  at  the  Bar,  and  which, 
as  showing  his  own  mode  of  obviating  the  delay  that  young 
professional  men  submit  to  from  hard  necessity,  as  well  as 
in  evidence  of  his  strictly  legal  turn,  I  shall  certainly 
recount  one  of  these  days  for  the  edification  of  the  Junior 
Bar. 


CHAPTER  XIV. 

THE   CHASE. 

On  the  morning  after  my  visit  to  the  boarding-house  I 
received  a  few  hurried  lines  from  Curzon,  informing  me 
that  no  time  was  to  be  lost  in  joining  the  regiment,  that  a 
grand  fancy  ball  was  about  to  be  given  by  the  officers  of 
the  "Dwarf"  frigate,  then  stationed  off  Dunmore,  who, 
when  inviting  the  4 — th,  specially  put  in  a  demand  for  my 
well-known  services,  to  make  it  go  off,  and  concluding  with 
an  extract  from  the  "  Kilkenny  Moderator, "  which  ran  thus : 
"An  intimation  has  just  reached  us,  from  a  quarter  on 
which  we  can  place  the  fullest  reliance,  that  the  celebrated 
amateur  performer,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  may  shortly  be  expected 
among  us.  From  the  many  accounts  we  have  received 
of  this  highly  gifted  gentleman's  powers,  we  anticipate  a 
great  treat  to  the  lovers  of  the  drama,"  etc.  "So  you  see, 
my  dear  Hal,"  continued  Curzon,  "thy  vocation  calls  thee; 
therefore  come,  and  come  quickly.  Provide  thyself  with 
a  black  satin  costume  slashed  with  light-blue,  point-lace 
collar  and  ruffles,  a  Spanish  hat  looped  in  front,  and,  if 
possible,  a  long  rapier  with  a  flat  hilt.  Carden  is  not  here, 
so  you  may  show  your  face  under  any  color  with  perfect 
impunity." 

This  clever  epistle  "  from  the  side-scenes "  sufficed  to 
show  that  the  gallant  4 — th  had  gone  clean  theatrical  mad ; 
and  although  from  my  "  last  appearance  on  any  stage  "  it 
might  be  supposed  I  should  feel  no  peculiar  desire  to  repeat 
the  experiment,  yet  the  opportunity  of  joining  during  Colo- 
nel Carden's  absence  was  too  tempting  to  resist,  and  I  at 
once  made  up  my  mind  to  set  out,  and  without  a  moment's 
delay  hurried  across  the  street  to  the  coach-office  to  book 


168  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

myself  an  inside  in  the  mail  of  that  night.  Fortunately,  no 
difficulty  existed  in  my  procuring  the  seat,  for  the  way-bill 
was  a  perfect  blank,  and  I  found  myself  the  only  person  who 
had  as  yet  announced  himself  a  passenger.  On  returning  to 
my  hotel  I  found  O'Flaherty  waiting  for  me.  He  was 
greatly  distressed  on  hearing  my  determination  to  leave 
town,  explained  how  he  had  been  catering  for  my  amuse- 
ment for  the  week  to  come,  —  that  a  picnic  to  the  Dargle  was 
arranged  in  a  committee  of  the  whole  house,  and  a  boating- 
party,  with  a  dinner  at  the  Pigeon  House,  was  then  under 
consideration.  Eesisting,  however,  such  extreme  tempta- 
tions, I  mentioned  the  necessity  of  my  at  once  proceeding 
to  headquarters,  and  all  other  reasons  for  my  preciptancy 
failing,  concluded  with  that  really  knock-down  argument, 
"I  have  taken  my  place."  This,  I  need  scarcely  add,  fin- 
ished the  matter,  —  at  least,  /  have  never  known  it  fail  in 
such  cases.  Tell  your  friends  that  your  wife  is  hourly 
expecting  to  be  confined;  your  favorite  child  is  in  the  mea- 
sles; your  best  friend  waiting  your  aid  in  an  awkward 
scrape ;  your  one  vote  only  wanting  to  turn  the  scale  in  an 
election,  —  tell  them,  I  say,  each  or  all  of  these,  or  a  hun- 
dred more  like  them,  and  from  any  one  you  so  speak  to, 
the  answer  is,  "Pooh,  pooh,  my  dear  fellow!  never  fear, 
don't  fuss  yourself,  take  it  easy,  —  to-morrow  will  do  just 
as  well."  If  on  the  other  hand,  however,  you  reject  such 
flimsy  excuses,  and  simply  say,  "I  'm  booked  in  the  mail," 
the  opposition  at  once  falls  to  the  ground,  and  your  quon- 
dam antagonist,  who  was  ready  to  quarrel  with  you,  is  at 
once  prepared  to  assist  in  packing  your  portmanteau. 

Having  soon  satisfied  my  friend  Tom  that  resistance  was 
in  vain,  I  promised  to  eat  an  early  dinner  with  him  at 
Morrisson's,  and  spent  the  better  part  of  the  morning  in 
putting  down  a  few  notes  of  my  "  Confessions  "  as  well  as 
the  particulars  of  Mr.  Daly's  story,  which,  I  believe,  I  half 
or  wholly  promised  my  readers  at  the  conclusion  of  my  last 
chapter,  but  which  I  must  defer  to  a  more  suitable  oppor- 
tunity, when  mentioning  the  next  occasion  of  my  meeting 
him  on  the  southern  circuit. 


THE  CHASE.  169 

My  dispositions  were  speedily  made.  I  was  fortunate  in 
securing  the  exact  dress  my  friend's  letter  alluded  to  among 
the  stray  costumes  of  Fishainble  Street;  and  rich  in  the 
possession  of  the  only  "  properties  "  it  had  been  my  lot  to 
acquire,  I  despatched  my  treasure  to  the  coach-office  and 
hastened  to  Morrisson's,  it  being  by  this  time  nearly  five 
o'clock.  There,  true  to  time,  I  found  O'Flaherty  deep  in 
the  perusal  of  the  bill,  along  which  figured  the  novel  ex- 
pedients for  dining  I  had  been  in  the  habit  of  reading  in 
every  Dublin  hotel  since  my  boyhood,  —  "  mock-turtle,  mut- 
ton gravy,  roast  beef  and  potatoes ;  shoulder  of  mutton  and 
potatoes !  ducks  and  peas,  potatoes !  ham  and  chicken,  cut- 
let, steak,  and  potatoes!  apple-tart  and  cheese."  With  a 
slight  cadenza  of  a  sigh  over  the  distant  glories  of  Very,  or 
still  better  the  "Freres,"  we  sat  down  to  a  very  patriarchal 
repast,  and  what  may  be  always  had  par  excellence  in  Dub- 
lin, —  a  bottle  of  Sneyd's  claret. 

Poor  Tom's  spirits  were  rather  below  their  usual  pitch; 
and  although  he  made  many  efforts  to  rally  and  appear  gay, 
he  could  not  accomplish  it.  However,  we  chatted  away 
over  old  times  and  old  friends,  and  forgetting  all  else  but 
the  topics  we  talked  of,  the  timepiece  over  the  chimney 
first  apprised  me  that  two  whole  hours  had  gone  by,  and 
that  it  was  now  seven  o'clock, — the  very  hour  the  coach 
was  to  start.  I  started  up  at  once,  and  notwithstanding 
all  Tom's  representations  of  the  impossibility  of  my  being 
in  time,  had  despatched  waiters  in  different  directions  for 
a  jarvey,  more  than  ever  determined  upon  going,  —  so  often 
is  it  that  when  real  reasons  for  our  conduct  are  wanting, 
any  casual  or  chance  opposition  confirms  us  in  an  intention 
which  before  was  but  wavering.  Seeing  me  so  resolved, 
Tom  at  length  gave  way,  and  advised  my  pursuing  the  mail, 
which  must  be  now  gone  at  least  ten  minutes,  and  which, 
with  smart  driving,  I  should  probably  overtake  before  get- 
ting free  of  the  city,  as  they  have  usually  many  delays  in 
so  doing.  I  at  once  ordered  out  the  " yellow  post-chaise," 
and  before  many  minutes  had  elapsed,  what  with  impreca- 
tion and  bribery,  I  started  in  pursuit  of  his  Majesty's  Cork 


170  HARRY  LORREQUEU. 

and  Kilkenny  mail-coach,  then  patiently  waiting  in  the 
court-yard  of  the  Post-office. 

"Which  way  now,  yer  honor?"  said  a  shrill  voice  from 
the  dark,  —  for  such  the  night  had  already  become,  and 
threatened,  with  a  feAV  heavy  drops  of  straight  rain,  the 
fall  of  a  tremendous  shower. 

"The  Naas  road,"  said  I;  "and  harkye,  my  fine  fellow, 
if  you  overtake  the  coach  in  half  an  hour,  I  '11  double  your 
fare." 

"Be  gorra,  I  '11  do  my  endayvor,"  said  the  youth;  at  the 
same  instant  dashing  in  both  spurs,  we  rattled  down  Nassau 
Street  at  a  very  respectable  pace  for  harriers.  Street  after 
street  we  passed,  and  at  last  I  perceived  wo  had  got  clear 
of  the  city,  and  were  leaving  the  long  line  of  lamp-lights 
behind  us.  The  night  was  now  pitch  dark;  I  could  not  see 
anything  whatever.  The  quick  clattering  of  the  wheels, 
the  sharp  crack  of  the  postilion's  whip,  or  the  still  sharper 
tone  of  his  "gee-hup,"  showed  me  that  we  were  going  at  a 
tremendous  pace,  had  I  not  even  had  the  experience  afforded 
by  the  frequent  visits  my  head  paid  to  the  roof  of  the  chaise, 
so  often  as  we  bounded  over  a  stone  or  splashed  through  a 
hollow.  Dark  and  gloomy  as  it  was,  I  constantly  let  down 
the  window,  and  with  half  my  body  protruded,  endeavored 
to  catch  a  glimpse  of  the  "  Chase ;  "  but  nothing  could  I  see. 
The  rain  now  fell  in  actual  torrents,  and  a  more  miserable 
night  it  is  impossible  to  conceive. 

After  about  an  hour  so  spent,  we  at  last  came  to  a  check, 
so  sudden  and  unexpected  on  my  part  that  I  was  nearly 
precipitated,  harlequin  fashion,  through  the  front  window. 
Perceiving  that  we  no  longer  moved,  and  suspecting  that 
some  part  of  our  tackle  had  given  way,  I  let  down  the  sash, 
and  cried  out,  "Well,  now,  my  lad,  anything  wrong?"  My 
question  was,  however,  unheard;  and  although,  amid  the 
steam  arising  from  the  wet  and  smoking  horses,  I  could 
perceive  several  figures  indistinctly  moving  about,  I  could 
not  distinguish  what  they  were  doing,  nor  what  they  said. 
A  laugh  I  certainly  did  hear,  and  heartily  cursed  the  un- 
feeling wretch,  as  I  supposed  him  to  be,  who  was  enjoying 


THE   CHASE.  171 

himself  at  my  disappointment.  I  again  endeavored  to  find 
out  what  had  happened,  and  called  out  still  louder  than 
before. 

"We  are  at  Ra'coole,  your  honor,"  said  the  hoy,  ap- 
proaching the  door  of  the  chaise,  "  and  she  's  only  beat  us 
by  hafe  a  mile." 

"Who  the  devil  is  she?"  said  I. 

"The  mail,  your  honor,  is  always  a  female  in  Ireland." 

"Then  why  do  you  stop  now?  You  're  not  going  to  feed, 
I  suppose?" 

"  Of  coorse  not,  your  honor,  —  it 's  little  feeding  troubles 
these  bastes,  anyhow;  but  they  tell  me  the  road  is  so 
heavy  we  '11  never  take  the  chaise  over  the  next  stage 
without  leaders." 

"  Without  leaders !  "  said  I.  "  Pooh !  my  good  fellow, 
no  humbugging,  —  four  horses  for  a  light  post-chaise  and 
no  lugagge.     Come,  get  up,  and  no  nonsense." 

At  this  moment  a  man  approached  the  window  with  a 
lantern  in  his  hand,  and  so  strongly  represented  the  dread- 
ful state  of  the  roads  from  the  late  rains,  the  length  of  the 
stage,  the  frequency  of  accidents  latterly  from  under-hors- 
ing, etc.,  that  I  yielded  a  reluctant  assent,  and  ordered  out 
the  leaders,  comforting  myself  the  while  that  considering 
the  inside  fare  of  the  coach  I  made  such  efforts  to  overtake 
was  under  a  pound,  and  that  time  was  no  object  to  me,  I 
was  certainly  paying  somewhat  dearly  for  my  character  for 
resolution. 

At  last  we  got  under  way  once  more  and  set  off,  cheered 
by  a  tremendous  shout  from  at  least  a  dozen  persons,  doubt- 
less denizens  of  that  interesting  locality,  amid  which  I  once 
again  heard  the  laugh  that  had  so  much  annoyed  me  already. 
The  rain  was  falling  if  possible  more  heavily  than  before, 
and  had  evidently  set  in  for  the  entire  night.  Throwing 
myself  back  into  a  corner  of  the  "leathern  convenience,"  I 
gave  myself  up  to  the  full  enjoyment  of  the  Rochefoucauld 
maxim  that  there  is  always  a  pleasure  felt  in  the  misfor- 
tunes of  even  our  best  friends,  and  certainly  experienced  no 
small  comfort  in  my  distress  by  contrasting  my  present 


172  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

position  with  that  of  my  two  friends  in  the  saddle  as  they 
sweltered  on  through  mud  and  mire,  rain  and  storm.  On 
we  went,  splashing,  bumping,  rocking,  and  jolting,  till  I 
began  at  last  to  have  serious  thoughts  of  abdicating  the  seat 
and  betaking  myself  to  the  bottom  of  the  chaise,  for  safety 
and  protection.  Mile  after  mile  succeeded;  and  as  after 
many  a  short  and  fitful  slumber,  which  my  dreams  gave  an 
apparent  length  to,  I  awoke  only  to  find  myself  still  in 
pursuit,  the  time  seemed  so  enormously  protracted  that  I 
began  to  fancy  my  whole  life  was  to  be  passed  in  the 
dark,  in  chase  of  the  Kilkenny  mail,  as  we  read  in  the  true 
history  of  the  Flying  Dutchman,  who  for  his  sins  of  impa- 
tience, like  mine,  spent  centuries  vainly  endeavoring  to 
double  the  Cape;  or  the  Indian  mariner  in  Moore's  beauti- 
ful ballad,  of  whom  we  are  told,  as  — 

"  Many  a  day  to  night  gave  way, 
And  many  a  morn  succeeded, 
Yet  still  Ins  flight,  by  day  and  night, 
That  restless  mariner  speeded." 

This  might  have  been  all  very  well  in  the  tropics,  with  a 
smart  craft  and  doubtless  plenty  of  sea  store;  but  in  a 
chaise,  at  night,  and  on  the  Kaas  road,  I  humbly  suggest 
I  had  all  the  worst  of  the  parallel. 

At  last  the  altered  sound  of  the  wheels  gave  notice  of 
our  approach  to  a  town,  and  after  about  twenty  minutes' 
rattling  over  the  pavement  we  entered  what  I  supposed, 
correctly,  to  be  Naas.  Here  I  had  long  since  determined 
my  pursuit  should  cease.  I  had  done  enough,  and  more 
than  enough,  to  vindicate  my  fame  against  any  charge  of 
irresolution  as  to  leaving  Dublin,  and  was  bethinking  me 
of  the  various  modes  of  prosecuting  my  journey  on  the  mor- 
row, when  we  drew  up  suddenly  at  the  door  of  the  Swan. 
The  arrival  of  a  chaise  and  four  at  a  small  country  town 
inn  suggests  to  the  various  officials  therein  anything  rather 
than  the  traveller  in  pursuit  of  the  mail,  and  so  the  moment 
I  arrived  I  was  assailed  with  innumerable  proffers  of  horses, 
supper,  bed,  and  so  on.  My  anxious  query  was  thrice  re- 
peated in  vain,  "When  did  the  coach  pass?" 


THE  CHASE.  173 

"The  mail?"  replied  the  landlord  at  length.  "Is  it  the 
down-mail?" 

Not  understanding  the  technical,  I  answered,  "  Of  course 
not  the  Down,  — the  Kilkenny  and  Cork  mail." 

"From  Dublin,  sir?" 

"Yes,  from  Dublin." 

"  Not  arrived  yet,  sir,  nor  will  it  for  three-quarters  of  an 
hour.  They  never  leave  Dublin  till  a  quarter-past  seven, 
—  that  is,  in  fact,  half -past;  and  their  time  here  is  twenty 
minutes  to  eleven." 

"  Why,  you  stupid  son  of  a  boot-top,  we  have  been  post- 
ing on  all  night  like  the  devil,  and  all  this  time  the  coach 
has  been  ten  miles  behind  us !  " 

"Well,  we've  cotch  them,  anyhow,"  said  the  urchin  as 
he  disengaged  himself  from  his  wet  saddle  and  stood  upon 
the  ground ;  "  and  it  is  not  my  fault  that  the  coach  is  not 
before  us." 

With  a  satisfactory  anathema  upon  all  innkeepers, 
waiters,  ostlers,  and  post-boys,  with  a  codicil  including 
coach-proprietors,  I  followed  the  smirking  landlord  into  a 
well-lighted  room  with  a  blazing  fire,  when,  having  ordered 
supper,  I  soon  regained  my  equanimity. 

My  rasher  and  poached  eggs,  all  Naas  could  afford  me, 
were  speedily  despatched,  and  as  my  last  glass  from  my  one 
pint  of  sherry  was  poured  out,  the  long-expected  coach 
drew  up.  A  minute  after,  the  coachman  entered  to  take 
his  dram,  followed  by  the  guard.  A  more  lamentable 
spectacle  of  condensed  moisture  cannot  be  conceived :  the 
rain  fell  from  the  entire  circumference  of  his  broad- 
brimmed  hat,  like  the  ever-flowing  drop  from  the  edge 
of  an  antique  fountain;  his  drab  coat  had  become  of  a 
deep  orange  hue,  while  his  huge  figure  loomed  still  larger 
as  he  stood  amid  a  nebula  of  damp  that  would  have  made 
an  atmosphere  for  the  Georgium  Sidus. 

"Going  on  to-night,  sir?"  said  he,  addressing  me. 
"  Severe  weather,  and  no  chance  of  its  clearing,  —  but  of 
course  you  're  inside." 

"Why,  there  is  very  little  doubt  of  that,"  said  I.  "Are 
you  nearly  full  inside  ?  " 


174  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Only  one,  sir,  but  he  seems  a  real  queer  chap;  made 
fifty  inquiries  at  the  office  if  he  could  not  have  the  whole 
inside  to  himself,  and  when  he  heard  that  one  place  had 
been  taken, — yours,  I  believe,  sir, — he  seemed  like  a 
scalded  bear." 

"You  don't  know  his  name,  then?" 

"  Xo,  sir,  he  never  gave  a  name  at  the  office,  and  his  only 
luggage  is  two  brown-paper  parcels,  without  any  ticket,  and 
he  has  them  inside,  — indeed,  he  never  lets  them  from  him, 
even  for  a  second." 

Here  the  guard's  horn,  announcing  all  ready,  interrupted 
our  colloquy  and  prevented  my  learning  anything  further 
of  my  fellow-traveller,  whom,  however,  I  at  once  set  down 
in  my  own  mind  for  some  confounded  old  churl  that  made 
himself  comfortable  everywhere,  without  ever  thinking  of 
any  one  else's  convenience. 

As  I  passed  from  the  inn  door  to  the  coach,  I  once  more 
congratulated  myself  that  I  was  about  to  be  housed  from  the 
terrific  storm  of  wind  and  rain  that  railed  without. 

"Here's  the  step,  sir,"  said  the  guard;  "get  in,  sir, — 
two  minutes  late  already." 

"I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,"  said  I,  as  I  half  fell  over  the 
legs  of  my  unseen  companion ;  "  may  I  request  leave  to  pass 
you?"  While  he  made  way  for  me  for  this  purpose,  I  per- 
ceived that  he  stooped  down  towards  the  guard  and  said 
something,  who,  from  his  answer,  had  evidently  been  ques- 
tioned as  to  who  I  was. 

"And  how  did  he  get  here,  if  he  took  his  place  in 
Dublin?"  asked  the  unknown. 

"Came  half  an  hour  since,  sir,  in  a  chaise  and  four," 
said  the  guard,  as  he  banged  the  door  behind  him  and 
closed  the  interview. 

Whatever  might  have  been  the  reasons  for  my  fellow- 
traveller's  anxiety  about  my  name  and  occupation  I  knew 
not,  yet  could  not  help  feeling  gratified  at  thinking  that,  as 
I  had  not  given  my  name  at  the  coach-office,  I  was  as  great 
a  puzzle  to  him  as  he  to  me. 

••  V  severe  night,  sir,"  said  I,  endeavoring  to  break 
ground  in  conversation. 


THE  CHASE.  175 

"Mighty  severe,"  briefly  and  half -crustily  replied  the 
unknown,  with  a  richness  of  brogue  that  might  have  stood 
for  a  certificate  of  baptism  in  Cork  or  its  vicinity. 

"And  a  bad  road  too,  sir,"  said  I,  remembering  my  lately 
accomplished  stage. 

"That's  the  reason  I  always  go  armed,"  said  the  un- 
known, clinking  at  the  same  moment  something  like  the 
barrel  of  a  pistol. 

Wondering  somewhat  at  his  readiness  to  mistake  my 
meaning,  I  felt  disposed  to  drop  any  further  effort  to  draw 
him  out,  and  was  about  to  address  myself  to  sleep  as  com- 
fortably as  I  could. 

"I  '11  just  trouble  ye  to  lean  off  that  little  parcel  there, 
sir,"  said  he,  as  he  displaced  from  its  position  beneath  my 
elbow  one  of  the  paper  packages  the  guard  had  already 
alluded  to. 

In  complying  with  this  rather  gruff  demand,  one  of  my 
pocket-pistols,  which  I  carried  in  my  breast  pocket,  fell 
out  upon  his  knee;  upon  which  he  immediately  started, 
and  asked  hurriedly,  "And  are  you  armed  too?" 

"Why,  yes,"  said  I,  laughingly;  "men  of  my  trade 
seldom  go  without  something  of  this  kind." 

"Be  gorra!  I  was  just  thinking  that  same,"  said  the 
traveller,  with  a  half  sigh  to  himself. 

Why  he  should  or  should  not  have  thought  so,  I  never 
troubled  myself  to  canvass,  and  was  once  more  settling 
myself  in  my  corner,  when  I  was  startled  by  a  very  mel- 
ancholy groan,  which  seemed  to  come  from  the  bottom  of 
my  companion's  heart. 

"Are  you  ill,  sir?"  said  I,  in  a  voice  of  some  anxiety. 

"You  may  say  that,"  replied  he,  "if  you  knew  who  you 
were  talking  to,  although  maybe  you  've  heard  enough  of 
me,  though  you  never  saw  me  till  now." 

"Without  having  that  pleasure  even  yet,"  said  I,  "it 
would  grieve  me  to  think  you  should  be  ill  in  the  coach." 

"Maybe  it  might,"  briefly  replied  the  unknown,  with  a 
species  of  meaning  in  his  words  I  could  not  then  understand. 
"Did  ye  never  hear  tell  of  Barney  Doyle?"  said  he. 


176  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Not  to  my  recollection." 

"Then  I'm  Barney,"  said  lie,  "that's  in  all  the  news- 
papers in  the  metropolis.  I  'm  seventeen  weeks  in  Jervis 
Street  Hospital,  and  four  in  the  Lunatic,  and  the  devil  a 
better  after  all.  You  must  be  a  stranger,  I  'm  thinking, 
or  you  'd  know  me  now." 

"Why,  I  do  confess  I've  only  been  a  few  hours  in  Ire- 
land for  the  last  six  months." 

"Ay,  that's  the  reason;  I  knew  you  would  not  be  fond 
of  travelling  with  me,  if  you  knew  who  it  was." 

"Why,  really,"  said  I,  beginning  at  the  moment  to 
fathom  some  of  the  hints  of  my  companion,  "I  did  not 
anticipate  the  pleasure  of  meeting  you." 

"It's  pleasure  ye  call  it;  then  there's  no  accountin' 
for  tastes,  as  Dr.  Colles  said  when  he  saw  me  bite  Cusack 
Rooney's  thumb  off! " 

"Bite  a  man's  thumb  off!  "  said  I,  in  horror. 

"Ay,"  said  he,  with  a  kind  of  fiendish  animation,  "in 
one  chop.  I  wish  you  'd  seen  how  I  scattered  the  consulta- 
tion; begad!  they  didn't  wait  to  ax  for  a  fee." 

"Upon  my  soul,  a  very  pleasant  vicinity,"  thought  I. 
"And  may  I  ask,  sir,"  said  I,  in  a  very  mild  and  soothing 
tone  of  voice,  "  may  I  ask  the  reason  for  this  singular  pro- 
pensity of  yours?" 

"There  it  is  now,  my  dear,"  said  he,  laying  his  hand 
upon  my  knee  familiarly;  "that's  just  the  very  thing 
they  can't  make  out.  Colles  says  it 's  all  the  ceribellum, 
ye  see,  that 's  inflamed  and  combusted,  and  some  of  the 
others  think  it 's  the  spine,  and  more  the  muscles ;  but 
my  real  impression  is,  the  devil  a  bit  they  know  about  it 
at  all." 

"And  have  they  no  name  for  the  malady?"  said  I. 

"Oh!  sure  enough  they  have  a  name  for  it." 

"  And,  may  I  ask  —  " 

"  Why,  I  think  you  'd  better  not,  because,  ye  see,  maybe 
I  might  be  throublesome  to  ye  in  the  night,  — though  I  '11 
not  if  I  can  help  it;  and  it  might  be  uncomfortable  to 
you  to  be  here  if  I  was  to  get  one  of  the  fits." 


THE  CHASE.  177 

"One  of  the  fits!  Why,  it's  not  possible,  sir,"  said  I, 
"you  would  travel  in  a  public  conveyance  in  the  state  you 
mention,  —  your  friends  surely  would  not  permit  it !  " 

"Why,  if  they  knew,  perhaps,"  slyly  responded  the 
interesting  invalid,  — "  if  they  knew,  they  might  not 
exactly  like  it;  but,  ye  see,  I  escaped  only  last  night, 
and  there  '11  be  a  fine  hubbub  in  the  morning  when  they 
find  I  'm  off.  Though  I  'm  thinking  Rooney  's  barking 
away  by  this  time." 

"Rooney  barking!     Why  what  does  that  mean?" 

"  They  always  bark  for  a  day  or  two  after  they  're  bit,  if 
the  infection  comes  first  from  the  dog." 

"You  are  surely  not  speaking  of  hydrophobia,"  said  I, 
my  hair  actually  bristling  with  horror  and  consternation. 

"Ain't  I?"  replied  he.  "Maybe  you've  guessed  it, 
though." 

"And  have  you  the  malady  on  you  at  present?"  said  I, 
trembling  for  the  answer. 

"This  is  the  ninth  day  since  I  took  to  biting,"  said  he, 
gravely,  perfectly  unconscious,  as  it  appeared,  of  the  terror 
such  information  was  calculated  to  convey. 

"  And  with  such  a  propensity,  sir,  do  you  think  yourself 
warranted  in  travelling  in  a  public  coach,  exposing 
others  —  " 

"You'd  better  not  raise  your  voice  that  way,"  quietly 
responded  he.  "  If  I  'm  roused,  it  '11  be  worse  for  ye, 
that's  all." 

"Well,  but,"  said  I,  moderating  my  zeal,  "is  it  exactly 
prudent,  in  your  present  delicate  state,  to  undertake  a 
journey?" 

"Ah!"  said  he,  with  a  sigh,  "I've  been  longing  to  see 
the  fox-hounds  throw  off  near  Kilkenny ;  these  three  weeks 
I  've  been  thinking  of  nothing  else.  But  I  'm  not  sure  how 
my  nerves  will  stand  the  cry;  I  might  be  troublesome." 

"Upon  my  soul,"  thought  I,  "I  shall  not  select  that 
morning  for  my  debut  in  the  field." 

"I  hope,  sir,  there's  no  river  or  watercourse  on  this 
road,  —  anything  else  I  can,  I  hope,  control  myself 
VOL.  i.  — 12 


178  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

against;  but  water  —  running  water  particularly  —  makes 
me  troublesome." 

Well  knowing  what  he  meant  by  the  latter   phrase,   I 
felt  the  cold  perspiration  settling  on  my  forehead  as  I 
remembered  that  we  must  be  within  about  ten  or  twelve 
miles  of  Leighlin  Bridge,  where  we  should  have  to  pass  a 
very  wide  river.     I  strictly  concealed  this  fact  from  him, 
however,  and  gave  him  to  understand  that  there  was  not  a 
well,  brook,  or  rivulet  for  forty  miles  on  either  side  of  us. 
He  now  sank  into  a  kind  of  moody  silence,  broken  occa- 
sionally by  a  low  muttering  noise,  as  if  speaking  to  him- 
self.    What  this  might  portend  I  knew  not,  but  thought  it 
better,  under  all  circumstances,  not  to  disturb  him.     How 
comfortable  my  present  condition  was,  I  need  scarcely  re- 
mark, sitting  vis-a-vis  to  a  lunatic  with  a  pair  of  pistols  in 
his  possession,  who  had  already  avowed  his  consciousness 
of  his  tendency  to  do  mischief  and  his  inability  to  master 
it,  —  all  this  in  the  dark,  and  in  the  narrow  limits  of  a 
mail-coach,  where  there  was  scarcely  room  for  defence,  and 
no  possibility  of  escape.     How  heartily  I  wished  myself 
back  in  the  coffee-room  at  Morrisson's  with  my  poor  friend 
Tom!     The  infernal  chaise,  that  I  cursed  a  hundred  times, 
would  have  been  an  "exchange"  better  than  into  the  Life 
Guards,  —  ay,  even  the  outside  of  the  coach,  if  I  could  only 
reach  it,  would,  under  present  circumstances,  be  a  glorious 
alternative  to  my  existing  misfortune.     What  were  rain 
and   storm,    thunder    and   lightning,    compared   with   the 
chances  that  awaited  me  here?     Wet  through   I   should 
inevitably  be ;  but  then  I  had  not  yet  contracted  the  hor- 
ror of  moisture  my  friend  opposite  labored  under.     "Ha! 
what  is  that?    Is  it  possible  he  can  be  asleep,  —  is  it  really 
a  snore?     Heaven  grant  that  little  snort  be  not  what  the 
medical  people  call  a  premonitory  symptom ;  if  so,  he  '11 
be  in  upon  me  now,  in  no  time.     Ah!  there  it  is  again,  — ■ 
he  must  be  asleep,  surely;  now  then  is  my  time,  or  never." 
With  these  words  muttered  to  myself,  and  a  heart  throb- 
bing almost  audibly  at  the  risk  of  his  awakening,  I  slowly 
let  down  the  window  of  the  coach,  and  stretching  forth  my 


THE  CHASE.  179 

hand,  turned  the  handle  cautiously  and  slowly ;  I  next  dis- 
engaged my  legs ;  and  by  a  long  continuous  effort  of  creep- 
ing —  which  I  had  learned  perfectly  once,  when  practising 
to  go  as  a  boa-constrictor  to  a  fancy  ball  —  I  withrew  myself 
from  the  seat  and  reached  the  step,  when  I  muttered  some- 
thing very  like  a  thanksgiving  to  Providence  for  my  rescue. 
With  little  difficulty  I  now  climbed  up  beside  the  guard, 
whose  astonishment  at  my  appearance  was  indeed  consid- 
erable.    That  any  man  should  prefer  the  out  to  the  inside 
of  a  coach  in  such  a  night,  was  rather  remarkable ;  but  that 
the  person  so  doing  should  be  totally  unprovided  with  a 
box-coat  or  other  similar  protection,  argued  something  so 
strange  that  I  doubt  not,   if  he  were  to  decide  upon  the 
applicability  of  the  statute  of  lunacy  to  a  traveller  in  the 
mail,  the  palm  would  certainly  have  been  awarded  to  me, 
and  not  to  my  late  companion.     Well,  on  we  rolled,  and 
heavily  as  the  rain  poured  down,  so  relieved  did  I  feel  at 
my  change  of  position  that  I  soon  fell  fast  asleep,  and 
never  woke  till  the  coach  was  driving  up  Patrick  Street. 
Whatever  solace  to  my  feelings  reaching  the  outside  of  the 
coach  might  have  been  attended  with  at  night,  the  pleasure 
I   experienced   on    awakening  was   really   not  unalloyed. 
More  dead  than  alive,  I  sat  a  mass  of  wet  clothes,  like 
nothing  under  heaven  except  it  be  that  morsel  of  black  and 
spongy  wet  cotton  at  the  bottom  of  a  schoolboy's  ink-bottle, 
saturated  with  rain  and  the  black  dye  of  my  coat.     My  hat, 
too,  had  contributed  its  share  of  coloring  matter,  and  sev- 
eral long  black  streaks  coursed  down  my  "  wrinkled  front, " 
giving  me  very  much  the  air  of  an  Indian  warrior  who  had 
got  the  first  priming  of  his  war-paint.     I  certainly  must 
have  been  a  rueful  object,  were  I  only  to  judge  from  the 
faces  of  the  waiters  as  they  gazed  on  me  when  the  coach 
drew  up  at  Eice  and  Walsh's  Hotel.     Cold,  wet,  and  weary 
as  I  was,  my  curiosity  to  learn  more  of  my  late  agreeable 
companion    was    strong    as    ever    within    me,  —  perhaps 
stronger,  from  the  sacrifices  his  acquaintance  had  exacted 
from  me.     Before,  however,  I  had  disengaged  myself  from 
the  pile  of  trunks  and  carpet-bags  I  had  surrounded  myself 


180  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

with,  he  had  got  out  of  the  coach,  and  all  I  could  catch  a 
glimpse  of  was  the  back  of  a  little  short  man  in  a  kind  of 
gray  upper  coat,  and  long  galligaskins  on  his  legs.  He 
carried  his  two  bundles  under  his  arm,  and  stepped  nimbly 
up  the  steps  of  the  hotel,  without  ever  turning  his  head  to 
either  side. 

"Don't  fancy  you  shall  escape  me  now,  my  good  friend," 
I  cried  out,  as  I  sprang  from  the  roof  to  the  ground  with 
one  jump,  and  hurried  after  the  great  unknown  into  the 
coffee-room.  By  the  time  I  reached  it  he  had  approached 
the  fire,  on  the  table  near  which  having  deposited  the  mys- 
terious paper  parcels,  he  was  now  busily  engaged  in  divest- 
ing himself  of  his  great-coat;  his  face  was  still  turned  from 
me,  so  that  I  had  time  to  appear  employed  in  divesting 
myself  of  my  wet  drapery  before  he  perceived  me.  At  last 
the  coat  was  unbuttoned,  the  gaiters  followed,  and  throw- 
ing them  carelessly  on  a  chair,  he  tucked  up  the  skirts  of 
his  coat,  and  spreading  himself  comfortably,  a  Vanglaise, 
before  the  fire,  displayed  to  my  wondering  and  stupefied 
gaze  the  pleasant  features  of  Dr.  Finucane. 

"Why,  Dr.,  Dr.  Finucane,"  cried  I,  "is  this  possible? 
Were  you  then  really  the  inside  in  the  mail  last  night?" 

"Devil  a  doubt  of  it,  Mr.  Lorrequer;  and  may  I  make 
bould  to  ask  were  you  the  outside?" 

"Then  what,  may  I  beg  to  know,  did  you  mean  by  your 
damned  story  about  Barney  Doyle,  and  the  hydrophobia, 
and  Cusack  Booney's  thumb,  eh?" 

"  Oh,  by  the  Lord !  "  said  Finucane,  "  this  will  be  the 
death  of  me.  And  it  was  you  that  I  drove  outside  in  all 
the  rain  last  night!  Oh,  it  will  kill  Father  Malachi  out- 
right with  laughing  when  I  tell  him."  And  he  burst  out 
into  a  fit  of  merriment  that  nearly  induced  me  to  break  his 
head  with  the  poker. 

"Am  I  to  understand,  then,  Mr.  Finucane,  that  this 
practical  joke  of  yours  was  contrived  for  my  benefit,  and 
for  the  purpose  of  holding  vie  up  to  the  ridicule  of  your 
confounded  acquaintances?" 

"Nothing  of  the  kind,  upon  my  conscience,"  said  Fin, 


THE  CHASE.  181 

drying  his  eyes,  and  endeavoring  to  look  sorry  and  senti- 
mental. "If  I  had  only  the  least  suspicion  in  life  that  it 
was  you,  upon  my  oath  I  'd  not  have  had  the  hydrophobia 
at  all,  and  to  tell  you  the  truth,  you  were  not  the  only  one 
frightened,  — you  alarmed  me  devilishly  too." 

"I  alarmed  you!     Why,  how  can  that  be?" 

"Why,  the  real  affair  is  this.  I  was  bringing  these  two 
packages  of  notes  down  to  my  cousin  Callaghan's  bank  in 
Cork,  —  fifteen  thousand  pounds,  devil  a  less ;  and  when 
you  came  into  the  coach  at  Naas,  after  driving  there  with 
your  four  horses,  I  thought  it  was  all  up  with  me.  The 
guard  just  whispered  in  my  ear  that  he  saw  you  look  at  the 
priming  of  your  pistols  before  getting  in ;  and  faith,  I  said 
four  Paters  and  a  Hail  Mary  before  you  'd  count  five.  Well, 
when  you  got  seated,  the  thought  came  into  my  mind  that 
maybe,  highwayman  as  you  were,  you  would  not  like  dying 
a  natural  death,  more  particularly  if  you  were  an  Irishman ; 
and  so  I  trumped  up  that  long  story  about  the  hydropho- 
bia, and  the  gentleman's  thumb,  and  devil  knows  what  be- 
sides; and  while  I  was  telling  it,  the  cold  perspiration  was 
running  down  my  head  and  face,  for  every  time  you  stirred 
I  said  to  myself,  '  Now,  he  '11  do  it. '  Two  or  three  times,  do 
you  know,  I  was  going  to  offer  you  ten  shillings  in  the 
pound,  and  spare  my  life;  and  once,  God  forgive  me,  I 
thought  it  would  not  be  a  bad  plan  to  shoot  you  '  by  mis- 
take,' do  you  perceive?" 

"Why,  upon  my  soul,  I  'm  very  much  obliged  to  you  for 
your  excessively  kind  intentions ;  but  really  I  feel  you  have 
done  quite  enough  for  me  on  the  present  occasion.  But 
come  now,  Doctor,  I  must  get  to  bed,  and  before  I  go, 
promise  me  two  things,  —  to  dine  with  us  to-day  at  the 
mess,  and  not  to  mention  a  syllable  of  what  occurred  last 
night :  it  tells,  believe  me,  very  badly  for  both.  So  keep 
the  secret,  for  if  these  confounded  fellows  of  ours  ever  get 
hold  of  it,  I  may  sell  out  and  quit  the  army;  I'll  never 
hear  the  end  of  it!" 

"  Never  fear,  my  boy ;  trust  me.  I  '11  dine  with  you,  and 
you  're  as  safe  as  a  church-mouse  for  anything  I  '11  tell 


182  HARRY  LOKREQUER. 

them;  so  now  you'd  better  change  your  clothes,  for  I'm 
thinking  it  rained  last  night." 

Muttering  some  very  dubious  blessings  upon  the  learned 
Fin,  I  left  the  room  infinitely  more  chagrined  and  chop- 
fallen  at  the  discovery  I  had  made  than  at  all  the  misery 
and  exposure  the  trick  had  consigned  me  to.  "However," 
thought  I,  "  if  the  doctor  keep  his  word,  all  goes  well,  — 
the  whole  affair  is  between  us  both  solely ;  but  should  it 
not  be  so,  I  may  shoot  half  the  mess  before  the  other  half 
would  give  up  quizzing  me."  Revolving  such  pleasant 
thoughts,  I  betook  myself  to  bed,  and,  what  with  mulled 
port  and  a  blazing  fire,  became  once  more  conscious  of 
being  a  warm-blooded  animal,  and  fell  sound  asleep,  to 
dream  of  doctors,  strait-waistcoats,  shaved  heads,  and  all 
the  pleasing  associations  my  late  companion's  narrative  so 
readily  suggested. 


CHAPTER  XV. 

MEMS.  OF  THE  NORTH  CORK. 

At  six  o'clock  I  had  the  pleasure  of  presenting  the 
worthy  Dr.  Finucane  to  our  mess,  taking  at  the  same  time 
an  opportunity,  unobserved  by  him,  to  inform  three  or  four 
of  my  brother  officers  that  my  friend  was  really  a  charac- 
ter, abounding  in  native  drollery,  and  richer  in  good  stories 
than  even  the  generality  of  his  countrymen. 

Nothing  could  possibly  go  on  better  than  the  early  part 
of  the  evening.  Fin,  true  to  his  promise,  never  once 
alluded  to  what  I  could  plainly  perceive  was  ever  upper- 
most in  his  mind;  and  what  with  his  fund  of  humor, 
quaintness  of  expression,  and  quickness  at  reply,  garnished 
throughout  by  his  most  mellifluous  brogue,  the  true  "  Bocca 
Corkana,"  kept  us  from  one  roar  of  laughter  to  another. 
It  was  just  at  the  moment  in  which  his  spirits  seemed  at 
their  highest  that  I  had  the  misfortune  to  call  upon  him 
for  a  story  which  his  cousin,  Father  Malachi,  had  alluded 
to  on  the  ever-memorable  evening  at  his  house,  and  which 
I  had  a  great  desire  to  hear  from  Fin's  own  lips.  He 
seemed  disposed  to  escape  telling  it,  and  upon  my  continu- 
ing to  press  my  request,  dryly  remarked,  — 

"You  forget,  surely,  my  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  the  weak 
condition  I  'm  in ;  and  these  gentlemen  here,  they  don't 
know  what  a  severe  illness  I  've  been  laboring  under  lately, 
or  they  would  not  pass  the  decanter  so  freely  down  this 
quarter." 

I  had  barely  time  to  throw  a  mingled  look  of  entreaty 
and  menace  across  the  table  when  half  a  dozen  others, 
rightly  judging  from  the  doctor's  tone  and  serio-comic 
expression  that  his  malady  had  many  more  symptoms  of 
fun  than  suffering  about  it,  called  out  together,  — 


184  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Oh,  Doctor,  by  all  means  tell  us  the  nature  of  your 
late  attack;  pray  relate  it." 

"  With  Mr.  Lorrequer's  permission,  I  'm  your  slave, 
gentlemen,"  said  Fin,  finishing  off  his  glass. 

"Oh!  as  for  me,"  I  cried,  "Dr.  Finucane  has  my  full 
permission  to  detail  whatever  he  pleases  to  think  a  fit  sub- 
ject for  your  amusement." 

"Come,  then,  Doctor,  Harry  has  no  objection,  you  see; 
so  out  with  it,  and  we  are  all  prepared  to  sympathize  with 
your  woes  and  misfortunes,  whatever  they  be." 

"  Well,  I  am  sure,  I  never  could  think  of  mentioning  it 
without  his  leave;  but  now  that  he  sees  no  objection  — 
Eh,  do  you,  though?  If  so,  then,  don't  be  winking  and 
making  faces  at  me,  but  say  the  word,  and  devil  a  syllable 
of  it  I  '11  tell  to  man  or  mortal." 

The  latter  part  of  this  delectable  speech  was  addressed 
to  me  across  the  table,  in  a  species  of  stage  whisper,  in 
reply  to  some  telegraphic  signals  I  had  been  throwing 
him,  to  induce  him  to  turn  the  conversation  into  another 
channel. 

"Then  that's  enough,"  continued  he,  sotto  voce ;  "I  see 
you  'd  rather  I  'd  not  tell  it." 

"  Tell  it  and  be  d d, "  said  I,  wearied  by  the  incorri- 
gible pertinacity  with  which  the  villain  assailed  me.  My 
most  unexpected  energy  threw  the  whole  table  into  a  roar, 
at  the  conclusion  of  which  Fin  began  his  narrative  of  the 
mail-coach  adventure. 

I  need  not  tell  my  reader  who  has  followed  me  through- 
out in  these  my  "  Confessions "  that  such  a  story  lost 
nothing  of  its  absurdity  when  intrusted  to  the  doctor's 
powers  of  narration.  He  dwelt  with  a  poet's  feeling  upon 
the  description  of  his  own  sufferings,  and  my  sincere  con- 
dolence and  commiseration;  he  touched  with  the  utmost 
delicacy  upon  the  distant  hints  by  which  he  broke  the 
news  to  me;  but  when  he  came  to  describe  my  open  and 
undisguised  terror,  and  my  secret  and  precipitate  retreat  to 
the  roof  of  the  coach,  there  was  not  a  man  at  the  table  that 
was  not  convulsed  with  laughter,  and  —  shall  I  acknowl- 


MEMS.  OF  THE  NORTH  CORK.  185 

edge  it?  —  even  I  myself  was  unable  to  withstand  the  effect, 
and  joined  in  the  general  chorus  against  myself. 

"Well,"  said  the  remorseless  wretch  as  he  finished  his 
story,  "  if  ye  have  n't  the  hard  hearts  to  laugh  at  such  a 
melancholy  subject!  Maybe,  however,  you're  not  so  cruel 
after  all;  here's  a  toast  for  you:  'A  speedy  recovery  to 
Cusack  Rooney.'"  This  was  drunk,  amid  renewed  peals, 
with  all  the  honors,  and  I  had  abundant  time  before  the 
uproar  was  over  to  wish  every  man  of  them  hanged.  It 
was  to  no  purpose  that  I  endeavored  to  turn  the  tables  by 
describing  Fin's  terror  at  my  supposed  resemblance  to  a 
highwayman,  — his  story  had  the  precedence,  and  I  met 
nothing  during  my  recital  but  sly  allusions  to  mad  dogs, 
muzzles,  and  doctors;  and  contemptible  puns  were  let  off 
on  every  side  at  my  expense. 

"It 's  little  shame  I  take  to  myself  for  the  mistake,  any- 
how," said  Fin;  "for  putting  the  darkness  of  the  night 
out  of  the  question,  I  'm  not  so  sure  I  would  not  have  ugly 
suspicions  of  you  by  daylight." 

"And  besides,  Doctor,"  added  I,  "it  would  not  be  your 
first  blunder  in  the  dark." 

"True  for  you,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  good-humoredly ; 
"  and  now  that  I  have  told  them  your  story,  I  don't  care  if 
they  hear  mine,  —  though,  maybe,  some  of  ye  have  heard 
it  already;  it 's  pretty  well  known  in  the  North  Cork." 

We  all  gave  our  disclaimers  on  this  point,  and  having 
ordered  in  a  fresh  cooper  of  port,  disposed  ourselves  in  our 
most  easy  attitudes  while  the  doctor  proceeded  as  follows: 

"It  was  in  the  hard  winter  of  the  year  '99  that  we  were 
quartered  in  Maynooth,  —  as  many  said,  for  our  sins ;  for  a 
more  stupid  place,  the  Lord  be  merciful  to  it !  never  were 
men  condemned  to.  The  people  at  the  college  were  much 
better  off  than  we ;  they  had  whatever  was  to  be  got  in  the 
country,  and  never  were  disturbed  by  mounting  guard  or 
night  patrols.  Many  of  the  professors  were  good  fellows, 
that  liked  grog  fully  as  well  as  Greek,  and  understood  short 
whist  and  five-ancl-ten  quite  as  intimately  as  they  knew  the 
Vulgate  or  the  Confessions  of  Saint  Augustine.    They  made 


186  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

no  ostentatious  display  of  their  pious  zeal,  but  whenever 
they  were  not  fasting  or  praying  or  something  of  that  kind, 
they  were  always  pleasant  and  agreeable,  and,  to  do  them 
justice,  never  refused,  by  any  chance,  an  invitation  to  din- 
ner,—  no  matter  at  what  inconvenience.  Well,  even  this 
solace  to  our  affliction  was  soon  lost  by  an  unfortunate  mis- 
take of  that  Orange  rogue  of  the  world,  Major  Jones,  that 
gave  a  wrong  pass  one  night,  —  Mr.  Lorrequer  knows  the 
story"  (here  he  alluded  to  an  adventure  detailed  in  an 
early  chapter  of  my  "Confessions");  "and  from  that  day 
forward  we  never  saw  the  pleasant  faces  of  the  Abbe 
d' Array  or  the  Professor  of  the  Humanities  at  the  mess. 
Well,  the  only  thing  I  could  do  was  just  to  take  an  oppor- 
tunity to  drop  in  at  the  college  in  the  evening,  where  we 
had  a  quiet  rubber  of  whist  and  a  little  social  and  intellec- 
tual conversation,  with  maybe  an  oyster  and  a  glass  of 
punch,  just  to  season  the  thing,  before  we  separated,  all 
done  discreetly  and  quietly;  no  shouting,  or  even  sing- 
ing, for  the  '  superior  '  had  a  prejudice  about  profane  songs. 
Well,  one  of  those  nights  —  it  was  about  the  first  week  in 
February  —  I  was  detained  by  stress  of  weather  from  eleven 
o'clock,  when  we  usually  bade  good-night,  to  past  twelve, 
and  then  to  one  o'clock,  waiting  for  a  dry  moment  to  get 
home  to  the  barracks,  —  a  good  mile  and  a  half  off.  Every 
time  old  Father  Mahony  went  to  look  at  the  weather  he 
came  back,  saying,  '  It 's  worse  it's  getting;  such  a  night 
of  rain,  glory  be  to  God,  never  was  seen.'  So  there  was  no 
good  in  going  out  to  be  drenched  to  the  skin,  and  I  sat 
quietly  waiting,  taking  between  times  a  little  punch,  just 
not  to  seem  impatient  nor  distress  their  rev'rences.  At 
last  it  struck  two,  and  I  thought,  '  Well,  the  decanter  is 
empty  now,  and  I  think,  if  I  mean  to  walk,  I  've  taken 
enough  for  the  present; '  so  wishing  them  all  manner  of 
happiness  and  pleasant  dreams,  I  stumbled  my  way  down- 
stairs and  set  out  on  my  journey.  I  was  always  in  the 
habit  of  taking  a  short  cut  on  my  way  home  across  the 
'  Gurt  na  brocha,'  the  priest's  meadows,  as  they  call  them, 
—  it  saved  nearly  half  a  mile;   although  on  the  present 


MEMS.  OF  THE  NORTH  CORK.  187 

occasion  it  exposed  one  wofully  to  the  rain,  for  there  was 
nothing  to  shelter  under  the  entire  way,  not  even  a  tree. 
Well,  out  I  set  in  a  half  trot,  for  I  stayed  so  late  I  was 
pressed  for  time;  besides,  I  felt  it  easier  to  run  than  to 
walk, — I'm  sure  I  can't  tell  why;  maybe  the  drop  of 
drink  I  took  got  into  my  head.  Well,  I  was  just  jogging 
on  across  the  common,  the  rain  beating  hard  in  my  face, 
and  my  clothes  pasted  to  me  with  the  wet;  notwithstand- 
ing I  was  singing  to  myself  a  verse  of  an  old  song  to 
lighten  the  road,  when  I  heard  suddenly  a  noise  near  me 
like  a  man  sneezing.  I  stopped  and  listened,  —  in  fact,  it 
was  impossible  to  see  your  hand,  the  night  was  so  dark ; 
but  I  could  hear  nothing.  The  thought  then  came  over  me, 
maybe  it 's  something  '  not  good,'  for  there  were  very  ugly 
stories  going  about  what  the  priests  used  to  do  formerly  in 
these  meadows;  and  bones  were  often  found  in  different 
parts  of  them.  Just  as  I  was  thinking  this,  another  voice 
came  nearer  than  the  last ;  it  might  be  only  a  sneeze  after 
all,  but  in  real  earnest  it  was  mighty  like  a  groan.  '  The 
Lord  be  about  us! '  I  said  to  myself;  '  what 's  this?  Have 
ye  the  pass?'  I  cried  out.  '  Have  ye  the  pass?  or  what 
brings  ye  walking  here,  in  nomine  Patri  ? '  for  I  was  so 
confused  whether  it  was  a  sperit  or  not,  I  was  going  to 
address  him  in  Latin,  —  there  's  nothing  equal  to  the  dead 
languages  to  lay  a  ghost,  everybody  knows.  Faith,  the 
moment  I  said  these  words,  he  gave  another  groan,  deeper 
and  more  melancholy  like  than  before.  'If  it 's  uneasy  ye 
are, '  says  I,  '  for  any  neglect  of  your  friends, '  for  I  thought 
he  might  be  in  purgatory  longer  than  he  thought  conve- 
nient, '  tell  me  what  you  wish,  and  go  home  peaceably  out 
of  the  rain;  for  this  weather  can  do  no  good  to  living  or 
dead.  Go  home,'  said  I;  'and  if  it's  masses  ye'd  like, 
I  '11  give  you  a  day's  pay  myself,  rather  than  you  should 
fret  yourself  this  way/  The  words  were  not  well  out  of 
my  mouth  when  he  came  so  near  me  that  the  sigh  he  gave 
went  right  through  both  my  ears.  '  The  Lord  be  merciful 
to  me!'  said  I,  trembling.  '  Amen ! '  says  he,  in  a  husky 
voice.     The  moment  he  said  that,  my  mind  was  relieved, 


188  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

for  I  knew  it  was  not  a  sperit,  and  I  began  to  laugh  heartily 
at  my  mistake.  '  And  who  are  ye  at  all,'  said  I,  '  that 's 
roving  about  at  this  hour  of  the  night?  Ye  can't  be 
(Father  Luke,  for  I  left  him  asleep  on  the  carpet  before  I 
quitted  the  college;  and  faith,  my  friend,  if  you  hadn't  the 
taste  for  divarsion,  ye  would  not  be  out  now.'  He  coughed 
then  so  hard  that  I  could  not  make  out  well  what  he  said, 
but  just  perceived  that  he  had  lost  his  way  on  the  common, 
and  was  a  little  disguised  in  liquor.  '  It 's  a  good  man's 
case, '  said  I,  '  to  take  a  little  too  much,  though  it 's  what  I 
don't  ever  do  myself;  so  take  a  hold  of  my  hand,  and  I  '11 
see  you  safe. '  I  stretched  out  my  hand,  and  got  him,  not 
by  the  arm,  as  I  hoped,  but  by  the  hair  of  the  head,  for  he 
was  all  dripping  with  wet,  and  had  lost  his  hat.  '  Well, 
you'll  not  be  better  of  this  night's  excursion,'  thought  I, 
'  if  ye  are  liable  to  the  rheumatism.  And  now,  whereabouts 
do  you  live,  my  friend?  for  I  '11  see  you  safe  before  I  leave 
you. '  What  he  said  then  I  never  could  clearly  make  out, 
for  the  wind  and  rain  were  both  beating  so  hard  against  my 
face  that  I  could  not  hear  a  word;  however,  I  was  able  just 
to  perceive  that  he  was  very  much  disguised  in  drink,  and 
spoke  rather  thick.  '  Well,  never  mind,'  said  I,  '  it's  not 
a  time  of  day  for  much  conversation ;  so  come  along,  and 
I  '11  see  you  safe  to  the  guard-house,  if  you  can't  remember 
your  own  place  of  abode  in  the  meanwhile. '  It  was  just 
at  the  moment  I  said  this  that  I  first  discovered  he  was  not 
a  gentleman.  Well,  now,  you'd  never  guess  how  I  did  it; 
and,  faith,  I  always  thought  it  a  very  'cute  thing  of  me, 
and  both  of  us  in  the  dark. " 

"  Well,  I  really  confess  it  must  have  been  a  very  difficult 
thing,  under  the  circumstances  j  pray  how  did  you  con- 
trive? "  said  the  Major. 

"Just  guess  how." 

"By  the  tone  of  his  voice,  perhaps,  and  his  accent,"  said 
Curzon. 

"  Devil  a  bit ;  for  he  spoke  remarkably  well,  considering 
how  far  gone  he  was  in  liquor." 

"  Well,  probably  by  the  touch  of  his  hand,  —  no  bad 
test." 


MEMS.  OF  THE   NORTH   CORK.  189 

" No,  you  're  wrong  again,  for  it  was  by  the  hair  I  had 
a  hold  of  him  for  fear  of  falling ;  for  he  was  always  stoop- 
ing down.  Well,  you  'd  never  guess  it,  —  it  was  just  by 
the  touch  of  his  foot." 

"His  foot!  Why,  how  did  that  give  you  any  in- 
formation? " 

"There  it  is  now, — that's  just  what  only  an  Irishman 
would  ever  have  made  anything  out  of;  for  while  he  was 
stumbling  about,  he  happened  to  tread  upon  my  toes,  and 
never  since  I  was  born  did  I  feel  anything  like  the  weight 
of  him.  '  Well, '  said  I,  '  the  loss  of  your  hat  may  give 
you  a  cold,  my  friend,  but  upon  my  conscience  you  are  in 
no  danger  of  wet  feet  with  such  a  pair  of  strong  brogues  as 
you  have  on  you. '  Well,  he  laughed  at  that  till  I  thought 
he  'd  split  his  sides,  and  in  good  truth  I  could  not  help 
joining  in  the  fun,  although  my  foot  was  smarting  like 
mad;  and  so  we  jogged  along  through  the  rain,  enjoying 
the  joke  just  as  if  we  were  sitting  by  a  good  fire,  with  a 
jorum  of  punch  between  us.  I  am  sure  I  can't  tell  you  how 
often  we  fell  that  night;  but  my  clothes  the  next  morning 
were  absolutely  covered  with  mud,  and  my  hat  crushed  in 
two,  —  for  he  was  so  confoundedly  drunk  it  was  impossible 
to  keep  him  up,  and  he  always  kept  boring  along  with  his 
head  down,  so  that  my  heart  was  almost  broke  in  keeping 
him  upon  his  legs.  I  'm  sure  I  never  had  a  more  fatiguing 
march  in  the  whole  Peninsula  than  that  blessed  mile  and  a 
half;  but  every  misfortune  has  an  end  at  last,  and  it  was 
four  o'clock  striking  by  the  college  clock  as  we  reached  the 
barracks.  After  knocking  a  couple  of  times  and  giving  the 
countersign,  the  sentry  opened  the  small  wicket,  and  my 
heart  actually  leaped  with  joy  that  I  had  done  with  my 
friend ;  so  I  just  called  out  the  sergeant  of  the  guard  and 
said,  '  Will  you  put  that  poor  fellow  on  the  guard-bed  till 
morning?  for  I  found  him  on  the  common,  and  he  could 
neither  find  his  way  home  nor  tell  me  where  ho  lived.' 
'  And  where  is  he? '  said  the  sergeant.  '  He  's  outside  the 
gate  there, '  said  I,  '  wet  to  the  skin,  and  shaking  as  if  he 
had  the  ague.'     'And  is  this  him?'  said  the  sergeant,  as 


190  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

we  went  outside.  '  It  is,'  said  I;  '  maybe  you  know  him.' 
'  Maybe  I  've  a  guess,'  said  he,  bursting  into  a  fit  of  laugh- 
ing that  I  thought  he'd  choke  with.  'Well,  Sergeant,' 
said  I, '  I  always  took  you  for  a  humane  man;  but  if  that 's 
the  way  you  treat  a  fellow-creature  in  distress  — '  'A  fel- 
low-creature ! '  said  he,  laughing  louder  than  before.  '  Ay, 
a  fellow-creature, '  said  I,  —  for  the  sergeant  was  an  Orange- 
man, — '  and  if  he  differs  from  you  in  matters  of  religion, 
sure  he's  your  fellow-creature  still.'  'Troth,  Doctor,  I 
think  there's  another  trifling  difference  betune  us,'  said 
he.  '  Damn  your  politics, '  said  I ;  '  never  let  them  inter- 
fere with  true  humanity.'  Was  n't  I  right,  Major?  '  Take 
good  care  of  him,  and  here's  half-a-crown  for  ye.'  So, 
saying  these  words,  I  steered  along  by  the  barrack  wall, 
and  after  a  little  groping  about,  got  upstairs  to  my  quar- 
ters, when,  thanks  to  a  naturally  good  constitution  and 
regular  habits  of  life,  I  soon  fell  fast  asleep." 

When  the  doctor  had  said  thus  much,  he  pushed  his  chair 
slightly  from  the  table,  and  taking  off  his  wine,  looked 
about  him  with  the  composure  of  a  man  who  has  brought 
his  tale  to  a  termination. 

"  Well,  but,  Doctor, "  said  the  Major,  "  you  are  surely  not 
done.  You  have  not  yet  told  us  who  your  interesting  friend 
turned  out  to  be." 

"That 's  the  very  thing,  then,  I  'm  not  able  to  do." 

"But  of  course,"  said  another,  "your  story  does  not  end 
there." 

"And  where  the  devil  would  you  have  it  end?"  replied 
he.  "Didn't  I  bring  my  hero  home,  and  go  asleep  after- 
wards myself;  and  then,  with  virtue  rewarded,  how  could 
I  finish  it  better?  " 

"  Oh !  of  course ;  but  still  you  have  not  accounted  for  a 
principal  character  in  the  narrative, "  said  I. 

"Exactly  so,"  said  Curzon.  "We  were  all  expecting 
some  splendid  catastrophe  in  the  morning,  —  that  your 
companion  turned  out  to  be  the  Duke  of  Leinster  at  least, 
or  perhaps  a  rebel  general  with  an  immense  price  upon  his 
head." 


MEMS.  OF  THE  NORTH  CORK.  191 

"Neither  the  one  nor  the  other,"  said  Fin,  dryly. 

"And  do  you  mean  to  say  there  never  was  any  clew  to 
the  discovery  of  him?  " 

"The  entire  affair  is  wrapped  in  mystery  to  this  hour," 
said  he.  "  There  was  a  joke  about  it,  to  be  sure,  among 
the  officers,  but  the  North  Cork  never  wanted  something  to 
laugh  at." 

"And  what  was  the  joke?"  said  several  voices  together. 

"Just  a  complaint  from  ould  Mickey  Oulahan,  the  post- 
master, to  the  Colonel  in  the  morning  that  some  of  the  offi- 
cers took  away  his  blind  mare  off  the  common,  and  that  the 
letters  were  late  in  consequence." 

"And  so,  Doctor,"  called  out  seven  or  eight,  "your 
friend  turned  out  to  be  — " 

"  Upon  my  conscience  they  said  so,  and  that  rascal  the 
sergeant  would  take  his  oath  of  it;  but  my  own  impression 
I  '11  never  disclose  to  the  hour  of  my  death." 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

THEATRICALS. 

Our  seance  at  the  mess  that  night  -was  a  late  one,  for 
after  we  had  discussed  some  coopers  of  claret,  there  was  a 
very  general  public  feeling  in  favor  of  a  broiled  bone  and 
some  devilled  kidneys,  followed  by  a  very  ample  bowl  of 
bishop,  over  which  simple  condiments  we  talked  "green- 
room" till  near  the  break  of  day. 

From  having  been  so  long  away  from  the  corps  I  had 
much  to  learn  of  their  doings  and  intentions  to  do,  and 
heard  with  much  pleasure  that  they  possessed  an  exceed- 
ingly handsome  theatre,  well  stocked  with  scenery,  dresses, 
and  decorations,  that  they  were  at  the  pinnacle  of  public 
estimation  from  what  they  had  already  accomplished,  and 
calculated  on  the  result  of  my  appearance  to  crown  them 
with  honor.  I  had,  indeed,  very  little  choice  left  me  in 
the  matter;  for  not  only  had  they  booked  me  for  a  particu- 
lar part,  but  bills  were  already  in  circulation,  and  sundry 
little  three-cornered  notes  enveloping  them  were  sent  to  the 
elite  of  the  surrounding  country,  setting  forth  that  "on 
Friday  evening  the  committee  of  the  garrison  theatricals, 
intending  to  perform  a  dress  rehearsal  of   '  The  Family 

Party,'  request  the  pleasure  of  Mr.  and  Mrs. 's 

company  on  the  occasion.  Mr.  Lorrequer  will  undertake 
the  part  of  Captain  Beaugarde.  Supper  at  twelve.  An 
answer  will  oblige." 

The  sight  of  one  of  these  pleasant  little  epistles,  of  which 
the  foregoing  is  a  true  copy,  was  presented  to  me  as  a  gr<  sat 
favor  that  evening,  it  having  been  agreed  upon  that  I  was  to 
know  nothing  of  their  high  and  mighty  resolves  till  the  fol- 
lowing morning.  It  was  to  little  purpose  that  I  assured 
them   all,  collectively  and   individually,  that  of   Captain 


THEATRICALS.  193 

Beaugarde  I  absolutely  knew  nothing;  had  never  read  the 
piece,  nor  even  seen  it  performed.  I  felt,  too,  that  my  last 
appearance  in  character  in  a  "  Family  Party  "  was  anything 
but  successful;  and  I  trembled  lest,  in  the  discussion  of 
the  subject,  some  confounded  allusion  to  my  adventure  at 
Cheltenham  might  come  out.  Happily  they  seemed  all 
ignorant  of  this ;  and  fearing  to  bring  conversation  in  any 
way  to  the  matter  of  my  late  travels,  I  fell  in  with  their 
humor,  and  agreed  that  if  it  were  possible  in  the  limited 
time  allowed  me  to  manage  it,  —  I  had  but  four  days,  — 
I  should  undertake  the  character.  My  concurrence  failed 
to  give  the  full  satisfaction  I  expected,  and  they  so  habitu- 
ally did  what  they  pleased  witli  me  that,  like  all  men  so 
disposed,  I  never  got  the  credit  for  concession  which  a  man 
more  niggardly  of  his  services  may  always  command. 

"To  be  sure  you  will  do  it,  Harry,"  said  the  Major; 
"why  not?  I  could  learn  the  thing  myself  in  a  couple  of 
hours,  as  for  that." 

Now,  be  it  known  that  the  aforesaid  Major  was  so  incor- 
rigibly slow  of  study  and  dull  of  comprehension  that  he  had 
been  successively  degraded  at  our  theatrical  board  from  tne 
delivering  of  a  stage  message  to  the  office  of  check-taker. 

"He  's  so  devilish  good  in  the  love-scene,"  said  the  junior 
ensign,  with  the  white  eyebrows.  "I  say,  Curzon,  you'll 
be  confoundedly  jealous  though,  for  he  is  to  play  with 
Fanny." 

"  I  rather  think  not,"  said  Curzon,  who  was  a  little  tipsy. 

"  Oh,  yes, "  said  Frazer,  "  Hepton  is  right.  Lorrequer  has 
Fanny  for  his  premise  ;  and,  upon  my  soul,  I  should  feel 
tempted  to  take  the  part  myself  upon  the  same  terms,  — 
though  I  verily  believe  I  should  forget  I  was  acting,  and 
make  fierce  love  to  her  on  the  stage." 

"And  who  may  la  charmante  Fanny  be?"  said  I,  with 
something  of  the  air  of  the  Dey  of  Algiers  in  my  tone. 

"Let  Curzon  tell  him,"  said  several  voices  together;  "he 
is  the  only  man  to  do  justice  to  such  perfection." 

"Quiz  away,  my  merry  men,"  said  Curzon.     "All  I  know 
is  that  you  are  a  confoundedly  envious  set  of  fellows ;  and 
vol.  i.  — 13 


194  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

if  so  lovely  a  girl  had  thrown  her  eyes  on  one  amongst 
you  —  " 

"Hip!  hip!  hurrah!"  said  old  Fitzgerald,  "Curzon  is  a 
gone  man.  He  '11  be  off  to  the  palace  for  a  license  some 
fine  morning,  or  I  know  nothing  of  such  matters." 

"  Well,  but,"  said  I,  "if  matters  are  really  as  you  all  say, 
why  does  not  Curzon  take  the  part  you  destine  for  me?" 

"We  dare  not  trust  him,"  said  the  Major;  "Lord  bless 
you,  when  the  call-boy  would  sing  out  for  Captain  Beau- 
garde  in  the  second  act,  we  'd  find  that  he  had  levanted 
with  our  best  slashed  trousers  and  a  bird-of-paradise  feathei 
in  his  cap." 

"Well,"  thought  I,  "this  is  better  at  least  than  I  antici- 
pated; for  if  nothing  else  offers,  I  shall  have  rare  fun  teas- 
ing my  friend  Charley,"  —  for  it  was  evident  that  he  had 
been  caught  by  the  lady  in  question. 

"And  so  you'll  stay  with  us?  Give  me  your  hand,  — 
you  are  a  real  trump."  These  words,  which  proceeded 
from  a  voice  at  the  lower  end  of  the  table,  were  addressed 
to  my  friend  Finucane. 

"I  '11  stay  with  ye,  upon  my  conscience,"  said  Fin;  "ye 
have  a  most  seductive  way  about  ye,  and  a  very  superior 
taste  in  milk  punch." 

"  But,  Doctor, "  said  I,  "  you  must  not  be  a  drone  in  the 
hive;  what  will  you  do  for  us?  You  should  be  a  capital 
Sir  Lucius  O'Trigger,  if  we  could  get  up  'The  Bivals.'  " 

"My  forte  is  the  drum,  — the  big  drum;  put  me  among 
what  the  Greeks  call  the  mousikoi,  and  I  '11  astonish  ye." 

It  was  at  once  agreed  that  Fin  should  follow  the  bent  of 
his  genius ;  and  after  some  other  arrangements  for  the  rest 
of  the  party,  we  separated  for  the  night,  having  previously 
toasted  the  "Fanny,"  to  which  Curzon  attempted  to  reply, 
but  sank,  overpowered  by  punch  and  feelings,  and  looked 
unutterable  things,  without  the  power  to  frame  a  sentence. 

During  the  time  which  intervened  between  the  dinner 
and  the  night  appointed  for  our  rehearsal  T  had  more  busi- 
ness upon  my  hands  than  a  Chancellor  of  the  Exchecpier 
the  week  of  the  budget  being  produced.     The  whole  man- 


THEATRICALS.  195 

agement  of  every  department  fell,  as  usual,  to  my  share, 
and  all  those  who,  previously  to  my  arrival,  had  contrib- 
uted their  quota  of  labor,  did  nothing  whatever  now  but 
lounge  about  the  stage,  or  sit  half  the  day  in  the  orchestra, 
listening  to  some  confounded  story  of  Finucane's,  who  con- 
trived to  have  an  everlasting  mob  of  actors,  scene-painters, 
fiddlers,  and  call-boys  always  about  him,  who  from  their 
uproarious  mirth  and  repeated  shouts  of  merriment  nearly 
drove  me  distracted,  as  I  stood  almost  alone  and  unassisted 
in  the  whole  management.  Of  la  belle  Fanny,  all  I  learned 
was  that  she  was  a  professional  actress  of  very  considerable 
talent  and  extremely  pretty ;  that  Curzon  had  fallen  desper- 
ately in  love  with  her  the  only  night  she  had  appeared  on 
the  boards  there ;  and  that,  to  avoid  his  absurd  persecution 
of  her,  she  had  determined  not  to  come  into  town  until  the 
morning  of  the  rehearsal,  she  being  at  that  time  on  a  visit 
to  the  house  of  a  country  gentleman  in  the  neighborhood. 
Here  was  a  new  difficulty  I  had  to  contend  with,  —  to  go 
through  my  part  alone  was  out  of  the  question  to  making  it 
effective ;  and  I  felt  so  worried  and  harassed  that  I  often 
fairly  resolved  on  taking  the  wings  of  the  mail  and  flying 
away  to  the  uttermost  parts  of  the  South  of  Ireland  till  all 
was  still  and  tranquil  again.  By  degrees,  however,  I  got 
matters  into  better  train ;  and  by  getting  over  our  rehearsal 
early  before  Fin  appeared,  as  he  usually  slept  somewhat 
later  after  his  night  at  mess,  I  managed  to  have  things  in 
something  like  order,  —  he  and  his  confounded  drum, 
which,  whenever  he  was  not  story-telling,  he  was  sure 
to  be  practising  on,  being,  in  fact,  the  greatest  difficulties 
opposed  to  my  managerial  functions.  One  property  he 
possessed,  so  totally  at  variance  with  all  habits  of  order 
that  it  completely  baffled  me.  So  numerous  were  his  nar- 
ratives that  no  occasion  could  possibly  arise,  no  chance 
expression  be  let  fall  on  the  stage,  but  Fin  had  something 
he  deemed  a  propos,  and  which,  sans  facon,  he  at  once 
related  for  the  benefit  of  all  whom  it  might  concern,  — 
that  was  usually  the  entire  corps  dramatique,  who  eagerly 
turned  from  stage  directions  and  groupings  to  laugh  at  his 


196  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

ridiculous  jests.  1  shall  give  an  instance  of  this  habit  of 
interruption,  and  let  the  unhappy  wight  who  has  rilled  such 
an  office  as  mine  pity  my  woes. 

I  was  standing  one  morning  on  the  stage,  drilling  my 
corps  as  usual.  One  most  refractory  spirit,  to  whom  but  a 
few  words  were  intrusted,  and  whu  bungled  even  those,  I 
was  endeavoring  to  train  into  something  like  his  part. 

"  Come,  now,  Elsmore,  try  it  again,  —  just  so.  Yes,  come 
forward  in  this  manner,  —  take  her  hand  tenderly ;  press  it 
to  your  lips;  retreat  towards  the  flat;  and  then,  bowing 
deferentially,  —  thus,  —  say  '  Good  night,  good  night ! ' 
That's  very  simple,  eh?  Well,  now,  that's  all  you  have 
to  do,  and  that  brings  you  over  here;  so  you  make  your 
exit  at  once." 

"Exactly  so,  Mr.  Elsmore;  always  contrive  to  be  near 
the  door  under  such  circumstances.  That  wras  the  way 
with  my  poor  friend  Curran.  Poor  Philpot,  when  he  dined 
with  the  Guild  of  Merchant  Tailors  they  gave  him  a  gold 
box  with  their  arms  upon  it,  — a  goose  proper  with  needles 
saltier-wise,  or  something  of  that  kind, — and  they  made 
him  free  of  their  '  ancient  and  loyal  corporation  '  and  gave 
him  a  very  grand  dinner.  Well,  Curran  was  mighty  pleas- 
ant and  agreeable,  and  kept  them  laughing  all  night,  till 
the  moment  he  rose  to  go  away,  and  then  he  told  them  that 
he  never  spent  so  happy  an  evening  and  all  that.  '  But, 
gentlemen,'  said  he,  'business  has  its  calls;  I  must  tear 
myself  away.  So  wishing  you  now  '  —  there  were  just  eigh- 
teen of  them  — '  wishing  you  now  every  happiness  and 
prosperity,  permit  me  to  take  my  leave '  —  and  here  he 
stole  near  the  door  — '  to  take  my  leave,  and  bid  you  both 
good  night.'" 

With  a  running  fire  of  such  stories,  it  may  be  sup- 
posed how  difficult  was  my  task  in  getting  anything  done 
upon  the  stage. 

Well,  at  last  the  long-expected  Friday  arrived,  and  I  rose 
in  the  morning  with  all  that  peculiar  tourbillon  of  spirits 
that  a  man  feels  when  he  is  half  pleased  and  whole  fright- 
ened with  the  labor   before  him.     I  had  scarcely  accom- 


THEATKICALS.  197 

plished  dressing  when  a  servant  tapped  at  my  door  and 
begged  to  know  if  I  could  spare  a  few  moments  to  speak  to 
Miss  Ersler,  who  was  in  the  drawing-room.  I  replied,  of 
course,  in  the  affirmative,  and  rightly  conjecturing  that  my 
fair  friend  must  be  the  lovely  Fanny  already  alluded  to, 
followed  the  servant  downstairs. 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer, "  said  the  servant ;  and  closing  the  door 
behind  me,  left  me  in  sole  possession  of  the  lady. 

"Will  you  do  me  the  favor  to  sit  here,  Mr  Lorrequer?" 
said  one  of  the  sweetest  voices  in  the  world  as  she  made 
room  for  me  on  the  sofa  beside  her.  "I  am  particularly 
short-sighted ;  so  pray  sit  near  me,  as  I  really  cannot  talk 
to  any  one  I  don't  see." 

I  blundered  out  some  platitude  of  a  compliment  to  her 
eyes,  —  the  fullest  and  most  lovely  blue  that  ever  man 
gazed  into,  — at  which  she  smiled  as  if  pleased,  and  con- 
tinued: "Now,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  have  really  been  longing 
for  your  coming,  for  your  friends  of  the  4 — th  are  doubtless 
very  dashing,  spirited  young  gentlemen,  perfectly  versed  in 
war's  alarms ;  but  pardon  me  if  I  say  that  a  more  wretched 
company  of  strolling  wretches  never  graced  a  barn.  Now, 
come,  don't  be  angry,  but  let  me  proceed.  Like  all  ama- 
teur people,  they  have  the  happy  knack,  in  distributing  the 
characters,  to  put  every  man  in  his  most  unsuitable  posi- 
tion ;  and  then  that  poor  dear  thing,  Curzon,  —  I  hope 
he  's  not  a  friend  of  yours,  — by  some  dire  fatality  always 
plays  the  lovers'  parts,  ha!  ha!  ha!  True,  I  assure  you, 
so  that  if  you  had  not  been  announced  as  coming  this  week, 
I  should  have  left  them  and  gone  off  to  Bath." 

Here  she  rose  and  adjusted  her  brown  ringlets  at  the 
glass,  giving  me  ample  time  to  admire  one  of  the  most  per- 
fect figures  I  ever  beheld.  She  was  most  becomingly 
dressed,  and  betrayed  a  foot  and  ankle  which  for  symmetry 
and  "smallness"  might  have  challenged  the  Kue  Bivoli 
itself  to  match  it. 

My  first  thought  was  poor  Curzon;  my  second,  happy 
and  thrice  fortunate  Harry  Lorrequer !  There  was  no  time, 
however,  for  indulgence  in  such  very  pardonable  gratula,- 


198  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

tion;  so  I  at  once  proceeded,  pour  /aire  V amiable,  to  pro- 
fess my  utter  inability  to  do  justice  to  her  undoubted 
talents,  but  slyly  added  that  in  the  love-making  part  of  the 
matter  she  should  never  be  able  to  discover  that  I  was  not 
in  earnest.  We  chatted  then  gayly  for  upwards  of  an  hour, 
until  the  arrival  of  her  friend's  carriage  was  announced, 
when  tendering  me  most  graciously  her  hand,  she  smiled 
benignly,  and  saying,  "  Au  revoir,  done,"  drove  off. 

As  1  stood  upon  the  steps  of  the  hotel,  viewing  her  "out 
of  the  visible  horizon,"  I  was  joined  by  Curzon,  who  evi- 
dently, from  his  self-satisfied  air  and  jaunty  gait,  little 
knew  how  he  stood  in  the  fair  Fanny's  estimation. 

"Very  pretty,  very  pretty  indeed;  deeper  and  deeper 
still,"  cried  he,  alluding  to  my  most  courteous  salutation 
as  the  carriage  rounded  the  corner  and  its  lovely  occupant 
kissed  her  hand  once  more.  "  I  say,  Harry,  my  friend,  you 
don't  think  that  was  meant  for  you,  I  should  hope?" 

"What!  the  kiss  of  the  hand?     Yes,  faith,  but  I  do." 

"  Well,  certainly,  that  is  good !  Why,  man,  she  just  saw 
me  coming  up  that  instant.  She  and  I,  —  we  understand 
each  other;  never  mind,  don't  be  cross,  — no  fault  of  yours, 
you  know." 

"Ah!  so  she  is  taken  with  you,"  said  I,  "eh,  Charley?" 

"Why,  I  believe  that.  I  may  confess  to  you  the  real 
state  of  matters.  She  was  devilishly  struck  with  me  the 
first  time  we  rehearsed  together.  We  soon  got  up  a  little 
flirtation;  but  the  other  night,  when  I  played  Mirabel  to 
her,  it  finished  the  affair.  She  was  quite  nervous,  and 
could  scarcely  go  through  with  her  part.  I  saw  it,  and 
upon  my  soul  I  am  sorry  for  it;  she's  a  prodigiously  fine 
girl, — such  lips  and  such  teeth.  Egad!  I  was  delighted 
when  you  came  ;  for,  you  see,  I  was  in  a  manner  obliged 
to  take  one  line  of  character,  and  I  saw  pretty  plainly 
where  it  must  end.  And  you  know  with  you  it 's  quite 
different;  she  '11  laugh  and  chat  and  all  that  sort  of  thing, 
but  she  '11  not  be  carried  away  by  her  feelings.  You  under- 
stand me." 

"Oh!  perfectly;  it 's  quite  different,  as  you  observed." 


THEATRICALS.  199 

If  I  had  not  been  supported  internally  during  this  short 
dialogue  by  the  recently  expressed  opinion  of  the  dear 
Fanny  herself  upon  my  friend  Curzon's  merits,  I  think  I 
should  have  been  tempted  to  take  the  liberty  of  wringing 
his  neck  off.  However,  the  affair  was  much  better  as  it 
stood,  as  I  had  only  to  wait  a  little  with  proper  patience, 
and  I  had  no  fears  but  that  my  friend  Charley  would  be- 
come the  hero  of  a  very  pretty  episode  for  the  mess. 

"  So  I  suppose  you  must  feel  considerably  bored  by  this 
kind  of  thing,"  I  said,  endeavoring  to  draw  him  out. 

"Why,  I  do,"  replied  he,  "and  I  do  not.  The  girl  is 
very  pretty.  The  place  is  dull  in  the  morning,  and  alto- 
gether it  helps  to  fill  up  time." 

"Well,"  said  I,  "you  are  always  fortunate,  Curzon.  You 
have  ever  your  share  of  what  floating  luck  the  world 
affords." 

"It  is  not  exactly  all  luck,  my  dear  friend;  for,  as  I 
shall  explain  to  you  —  " 

"Not  now,"  replied  I,  "for  I  have  not  yet  breakfasted." 
So  saying,  I  turned  into  the  coffee-room,  leaving  the  worthy 
Adjutant  to  revel  in  his  fancied  conquest  and  pity  such 
unfortunates  as  myself. 

After  an  early  dinner  at  the  club-house  I  hastened  down 
to  the  theatre,  where  numerous  preparations  for  the  night 
were  going  forward.  The  green-room  was  devoted  to  the 
office  of  a  supper-room,  to  which  the  audience  had  been 
invited.  The  dressing-rooms  were  many  of  them  filled 
with  the  viands  destined  for  the  entertainment,  where, 
among  the  wooden  fowls  and  "  impracticable  "  flagons,  were 
to  be  seen  very  imposing  pasties  and  flasks  of  champagne 
littered  together  in  most  admirable  disorder.  The  confu- 
sion naturally  incidental  to  all  private  theatricals  was  ten- 
fold increased  by  the  circumstances  of  our  projected  supper. 
Cooks  and  scene-shifters,  fiddlers  and  waiters,  were  most 
inextricably  mingled;  and  as  in  all  similar  cases,  the  least 
important  functionaries  took  the  greatest  airs  upon  them, 
and  appropriated  without  hesitation  whatever  came  to  their 
hands.     Thus,  the  cook  would  not  have  scrupled  to  light 


200  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

a  fire  with  the  violoncello  of  the  orchestra;  and  I  actu- 
ally caught  one  of  the  "  marmitons  "  making  a  "  souffle  "  in 
a  hrass  helmet  I  had  once  worn  when  astonishing  the  world 
as  Coriolanus! 

Six  o'clock  struck.  "In  another  short  hour  and  we 
begin,"  thought  I,  with  a  sinking  heart,  as  I  looked  upon 
the  littered  stage  crowded  with  hosts  of  fellows  that  had 
nothing  to  do  there.  Figaro  himself  never  wished  for 
ubiquity  more  than  I  did  as  I  hastened  from  place  to  place, 
entreating,  cursing,  begging,  scolding,  execrating,  and  im- 
ploring by  turns.  To  mend  the  matter,  the  devils  in  the 
orchestra  had  begun  to  tune  their  instruments,  and  I  had  to 
bawl  like  a  boatswain  of  a  man-of-war  to  be  heard  by  the 
person  beside  me. 

As  seven  o'clock  struck  I  peeped  through  the  small 
aperture  in  the  curtain,  and  saw,  to  my  satisfaction,  — 
mingled,  I  confess,  with  fear,  —  that  the  house  was  nearly 
filled,  the  lower  tier  of  boxes  entirely  so.  There  were  a 
great  many  ladies,  handsomely  dressed,  chatting  gayly  with 
their  chaperons,  and  I  recognized  some  of  my  acquaint- 
ances on  every  side ;  in  fact,  there  was  scarcely  a  family  of 
rank  in  the  county  that  had  not  at  least  some  member  of  it 
present.  As  the  orchestra  struck  up  the  overture  to  "  Don 
Giovanni,"  I  retired  from  my  place  to  inspect  the  arrange- 
ments behind. 

Before  the  performance  of  "  The  Family  Party  "  we  were 
to  have  a  little  one-act  piece  called  "A  Day  in  Madrid," 
written  by  myself;  the  principal  characters  being  expressly 
composed  for  "Miss  Ersler  and  Mr.  Lorrequer." 

The  story  of  this  trifle  it  is  not  necessary  to  allude  to,  — 
indeed,  if  it  were,  I  should  scarcely  have  patience  to  do  so, 
so  connected  is  my  recollection  of  it  with  the  distressing 
incident  which  followed. 

In  the  first  scene  of  the  piece,  the  curtain,  rising,  displays 
la  belle  Fanny  sitting  at  her  embroidery  in  the  midst  of  a 
beautiful  garden  surrounded  with  statues,  fountains,  etc. ; 
at  the  back  is  seen  a  pavilion,  in  the  ancient  Moorish  style 
of  architecture,  over  which  hang  the  branches  of  some  large 


THEATRICALS.  201 

and  shady  trees.  She  comes  forward  expressing  her  impa- 
tience at  the  delay  of  her  lover,  whose  absence  she  tortures 
herself  to  account  for  by  a  hundred  different  suppositions ; 
and  after  a  very  sufficient  expose  of  her  feelings,  and  some 
little  explanatory  details  of  her  private  history,  conveying 
a  very  clear  intimation  of  her  own  amiability  and  her  guar- 
dian's cruelty,  she  proceeds,  after  the  fashion  of  other 
young  ladies  similarly  situated,  to  give  utterance  to  her 
feelings  by  a  song.  After,  therefore,  a  suitable  prelude 
from  the  orchestra,  for  which,  considering  the  impassioned 
state  of  her  mind,  she  waits  patiently,  she  comes  forward 
and  begins  a  melody,  — 

"  Oh !  why  is  he  far  from  the  heart  that  adores  him  1 " 

in  which,  for  two  verses,  she  proceeds  with  sundry  solfeggi 
to  account  for  the  circumstances  and  show  her  own  dis- 
belief of  the  explanation  in  a  very  satisfactory  manner. 
Meanwhile,  for  I  must  not  expose  my  reader  to  an  anxiety 
on  my  account  similar  to  what  the  dear  Fanny  here  labored 
under,  I  was  making  the  necessary  preparations  for  flying 
to  her  presence  and  clasping  her  to  my  heart,  —  that  is  to 
say,  I  had  already  gummed  on  a  pair  of  mustachios,  had 
corked  and  arched  a  ferocious  pair  of  eyebrows,  which, 
with  my  rouged  cheeks,  gave  me  a  look  half  Whiskerando, 
half  Grimaldi ;  these  operations  were  performed,  from  the 
stress  of  circumstances,  sufficiently  near  the  object  of  my 
affections  to  afford  me  the  pleasing  satisfaction  of  hearing 
from  her  own  sweet  lips  her  solicitude  about  me,  —  in  a 
word,  all  the  dressing-rooms  but  two  being  filled  with  ham- 
pers of  provisions,  glass,  china,  and  crockery,  from  absolute 
necessity  I  had  no  other  spot  where  I  could  attire  myself 
unseen,  except  in  the  identical  pavilion  already  alluded 
to.  Here,  however,  I  was  quite  secure,  and  had  abundant 
time  also ;  for  I  was  not  to  appear  till  scene  the  second,  when 
I  was  to  come  forward  in  full  Spanish  costume,  "  every  inch 
a  hidalgo."  Meantime,  Fanny  had  been  singing,  "  Oh !  why 
is  he  far,"  etc.  At  the  conclusion  of  the  last  verse,  just  as 
she  repeats  the  words  "Why,  why,  why,"  in  a  very  dis- 


202  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

tracted  and  melting  cadence,  a  voice  behind  startles  her ; 
she  turns  and  beholds  her  guardian,  —  so,  at  least,  runs  the 
course  of  events  in  the  real  drama ;  that  it  should  follow 
thus  now,  however,  Dlis  aliter  visum,  for  just  as  she  came 
to  the  very  moving  apostrophe  alluded  to,  and  called  out, 
"Why  comes  he  not?"  a  gruff  voice  from  behind  answered 
in  a  strong  Cork  brogue,  "  Ah !  would  ye  have  him  come  in 
a  state  of  nature  ?  "  At  the  instant  a  loud  whistle  ran  through 
the  house,  and  the  pavilion  scene  slowly  drew  up,  discover- 
ing  me,  Harry  Lorrequer,  seated  on  a  small  stool  before  a 
cracked  looking-glass,  my  only  habiliments,  as  I  am  an 
honest  man,  being  a  pair  of  long  white-silk  stockings  and 
a  very  richly  embroidered  shirt  with  point-lace  collar.  The 
shouts  of  laughter  are  yet  in  my  ears  ;  the  loud  roar  of  inex- 
tinguishable mirth  which,  after  the  first  brief  pause  of 
astonishment  gave  way,  shook  the  entire  building.  My 
recollection  may  well  have  been  confused  at  such  a  moment 
of  unutterable  shame  and  misery ;  yet  I  clearly  remember 
seeing  Fanny,  the  sweet  Fanny  herself,  fall  into  an  arm- 
chair nearly  suffocated  with  convulsions  of  laughter.  I 
cannot  go  on  ;  what  I  did  I  know  not.  I  suppose  my  exit 
was  additionally  ludicrous,  for  a  new  eclat  de  rire  followed 
me  out.  I  rushed  out  of  the  theatre,  and  wrapping  only 
my  cloak  round  me,  ran  without  stopping  to  the  barracks. 
But  I  must  cease ;  these  are  woes  too  sacred  for  even  "  Con- 
fessions "  like  mine,  so  let  me  close  the  curtain  of  my  room 
and  my  chapter  together,  and  say  adieu  for  a  season. 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

THE   WAGER. 

It  might  have  been  about  six  weeks  after  the  events 
detailed  in  my  last  chapter  had  occurred  that  Curzon  broke 
suddenly  into  my  room  one  morning  before  I  had  risen,  and 
throwing  a  precautionary  glaDce  around,  as  if  to  assure 
himself  that  we  were  alone,  seized  my  hand  with  a  most 
unusual  earnestness,  and  steadfastly  looking  at  me,  said: 

"Harry  Lorrequer,  will  you  stand  by  me?" 

So  sudden  and  unexpected  was  his  appearance  at  the 
moment  that  I  really  felt  but  half  awake,  and  kept  puz- 
zling myself  for  an  explanation  of  the  scene,  rather  than 
thinking  of  a  reply  to  his  question ;  perceiving  which,  and 
auguring  but  badly  from  my  silence,  he  continued,  — 

"  Am  I,  then,  really  deceived  in  what  I  believed  to  be  an 
old  and  tried  friend?" 

"Why,  what  the  devil's  the  matter?"  I  cried  out.  "If 
you  are  in  a  scrape,  why  of  course  you  know  I  'm  your  man ; 
but  still,  it 's  only  fair  to  let  one  know  something  of  the 
matter  in  the  mean  while." 

"  In  a  scrape !  "  said  he,  with  a  long-drawn  sigh  intended 
to  beat  the  whole  Minerva  Press  in  its  romantic  cadence. 

"Well,  but  get  on  a  bit,"  said  I,  rather  impatiently; 
"  who  is  the  fellow  you  've  got  the  row  with?  Not  one  of 
ours,  I  trust?  " 

"Ah,  my  dear  Hal,"  said  he,  in  the  same  melting  tone 
as  before,  "  how  your  imagination  does  run  upon  rows  and 
broils  and  duelling  rencontres ! "  (he,  the  speaker,  be  it 
known  to  the  reader,  was  the  fire-eater  of  the  regiment.) 
"  As  if  life  had  nothing  better  to  offer  than  the  excitement 
of  a  challenge  or  the  mock  heroism  of  a  meeting." 

As  he  made  a  dead  pause  here,  after  which  he  showed  no 
disposition  to  continue,  I  merely  added,  — 


204  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

"Well,  at  this  rate  of  proceeding  we  shall  get  at  the 
matter  iu  hand  on  our  way  out  to  Corfu,  for  I  hear  we  are 
the  next  regiment  for  the  Mediterranean." 

The  observation  seemed  to  have  some  effect  in  rousing 
him  from  his  lethargy,  and  he  added,  — 

"  If  you  only  knew  the  nature  of  the  attachment,  and  how 
completely  all  my  future  hopes  are  concerned  upon  the 
issue  —  " 

"Ho!  "  said  I;  "so  it's  a  money  affair,  is  it?  And  is  it 
old  Watson  has  issued  the  writ?     I  '11  bet  a  hundred  on  it." 

"Well,  upon  my  soul,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  jumping  from 
his  chair,  and  speaking  with  more  energy  than  he  had 
before  evinced,  "you  are,  without  exception,  the  most 
worldly-minded,  cold-blooded  fellow  I  ever  met.  What 
have  I  said  that  could  have  led  you  to  suppose  I  had  either 
a  duel  or  a  law-suit  upon  my  hands  this  morning?  Learn 
once  and  for  all,  man,  that  I  am  in  love,  —  desperately  and 
over  head  and  ears  in  love." 

"Epoi?"  said  I,  coolly. 

"  And  intend  to  marry  immediately. " 

"Oh!  very  well,"  said  I;  "the  fighting  and  debt  will 
come  later,  that 's  all.  But  to  return,  —  now  for  the 
lady." 

"Come,  you  must  make  a  guess." 

"Why,  then,  I  really  must  confess  my  utter  inability; 
for  your  attentions  have  been  so  generally  and  impartially 
distributed  since  our  arrival  here  that  it  may  be  any  fair 
one,  from  your  venerable  partner  at  whist  last  evening  to 
Mrs.  Henderson,  the  pastrycook,  inclusive,  for  whose 
macaroni  and  cherry-brandy  your  feelings  have  been  as 
warm  as  they  are  constant." 

"  Come,  no  more  quizzing,  Hal.  You  surely  must  have 
remarked  that  lovely  girl  I  waltzed  with  at  Power's  ball  on 
Tuesday  last." 

"  Lovely  girl !  Why,  in  all  seriousness,  you  don't  mean 
the  small  woman  with  the  tow  wig?" 

"  No,  I  do  not  mean  any  such  thing,  but  a  beautiful  crea- 
ture, with  the  brightest  locks  in  Christendom,  —  the  very 


THE  WAGER.  205 

light  brown  waving  ringlets  Domenichino  loved  to  paint, 
and  a  foot  —     Did  you  see  her  foot?  " 

"No;  that  was  rather  difficult,  for  she  kept  continually 
bobbing  up  and  down,  like  a  boy's  cork-float  in  a  fishpond." 

"  Stop  there.  I  shall  not  permit  this  any  longer;  I  came 
not  here  to  listen  to  —  " 

"But,  Curzon,  my  boy,  you're  not  angry?" 

"Yes,  sir,  I  am  angry." 

"Why,  surely,  you  have  not  been  serious  all  this  time?" 

"And  why  not,  pray?" 

"Oh!  I  don't  exactly  know, — that  is,  faith,  I  scarcely 
thought  you  were  in  earnest,  for  if  I  did,  of  course  I  should 
honestly  have  confessed  to  you  that  the  lady  in  question 
struck  me  as  one  of  the  handsomest  persons  I  ever  met." 

"You  think  so  really,  Hal?" 

"  Certainly  I  do ;  and  the  opinion  is  not  mine  alone,  — 
she  is,  in  fact,  universally  admired." 

"  Come,  Harry,  excuse  my  bad  temper ;  I  ought  to  have 
known  you  better.  Give  me  your  hand,  old  boy,  and  wish 
me  joy;  for,  with  your  aiding  and  abetting,  she  is  mine 
to-morrow  morning." 

I  wrung  his  hand  heartily,  congratulating  myself,  mean- 
while, how  happily  I  had  got  out  of  my  scrape ;  as  I  now, 
for  the  first  time,  perceived  that  Curzon  was  actually  in 
earnest. 

"So  you  will  stand  by  me,  Hal?"  said  he. 

"  Of  course.  Only  show  me  how,  and  I  'm  perfectly  at 
your  service.  Anything,  from  riding  postilion  on  the 
leaders  to  officiating  as  bridesmaid,  and  I  am  your  man. 
And  if  you  are  'in  want  of  such  a  functionary,  I  shall  stand 
in  loco  parentis  to  the  lady,  and  give  her  away  with  as  much 
onction  and  tenderness  as  though  I  had  as  many  marriage- 
able daughters  as  King  Priam  himself.  It  is  with  me  in 
marriage  as  in  duelling,  —  I  '11  be  anything  rather  than  a 
principal;  and  I  have  long  since  disapproved  of  either 
method  as  a  means  of  '  obtaining  satisfaction. '  " 

"Ah!  Harry,  I  shall  not  be  discouraged  by  your  sneers; 
you  've   been  rather   unlucky,    I  'm   aware.     But   now   to 


206  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

return.  Your  office  on  this  occasion  is  an  exceedingly 
simple  one;  and  yet  that  which  I  could  only  confide  to  one 
as  much  my  friend  as  yourself.  You  must  carry  my  dear- 
est Louisa  off." 

"Carry  her  off!  Where?  when?  how?" 
"All  that  I  have  already  arranged,  as  you  shall  hear." 
"  Yes.  But  first  of  all  please  to  explain  why,  if  going  to 
run  away  with  the  lady,  you  don't  accompany  her  yourself." 
"Ah!  I  knew  you  would  say  that,  —I  could  have  laid  a 
wager  you'd  ask  that  question;  for  it  is  just  that  very 
explanation  will  show  all  the  native  delicacy  and  feminine 
propriety  of  my  darling  Loo.  And  first  I  must  tell  you 
that  old  Sir  Alfred  Jonson,  her  father,  has  some  confounded 
prejudice  against  the  army,  and  never  would  consent  to  her 
marriage  with  a  red-coat;  so  that,  his  consent  being  out  of 
the  question,  our  only  resource  is  an  elopement.  Louisa 
consents  to  this,  but  only  upon  one  condition,  and  this  she 
insists  upon  so  firmly  —  I  had  almost  said  obstinately  — 
that,  notwithstanding  all  my  arguments  and  representa- 
tions, and  even  entreaties  against  it,  she  remains  inflexible ; 
so  that  I  have  at  length  yielded,  and  she  is  to  have  her 
own  way." 

"Well,  and  what  is  the  condition  she  lays  such  stress 
upon? " 

"  Simply  this,  that  we  are  never  to  travel  a  mile  together 
until  I  obtain  my  right  to  do  so  by  making  her  my  wife. 
She  has  got  some  trumpery  notions  in  her  head  that  any 
slight  transgression  over  the  bounds  of  delicacy  made  by 
women  before  marriage  is  ever  after  remembered  by  the 
husband  to  their  disadvantage,  and  she  is  therefore  resolved 
not  to  sacrifice  her  principle  even  at  such  a  crisis  as  the 
present." 

"All  very  proper,  I  have  no  doubt;  but  still,  pray 
explain  what  I  confess  appears  somewhat  strange  to  me 
at  present.  How  does  so  very  delicately  minded  a  person 
reconcile  herself  to  travelling  with  a  perfect  stranger  under 
such  circumstances?" 

"  That  I  can  explain  perfectly  to  you.     You  must  know 


THE   WAGER.  207 

that  when  my  darling  Loo  consented  to  take  this  step, 
which  I  induced  her  to  do  with  the  greatest  difficulty,  she 
made  the  proviso  I  have  just  mentioned ;  I  at  once  showed 
her  that  I  had  no  maiden  aunt  or  married  sister  to  confide 
her  to  at  such  a  moment,  and  what  was  to  be  done?  She 
immediately  replied,  '  Have  you  no  elderly  brother  officer, 
whose  years  and  discretion  will  put  the  transaction  in  such 
a  light  as  to  silence  the  slanderous  tongues  of  the  world? 
For  with  such  a  man  I  am  quite  ready  and  willing  to  trust 
myself.'  You  see  I  was  hard  pushed  there.  What  could 
I  do?  Whom  could  I  select?  Old  Hayes,  the  paymaster, 
is  always  tipsy ;  Jones  is  five  and  forty,  —  but  still,  if  he 
found  out  there  was  thirty  thousand  pounds  in  the  case, 
egad!  I  'm  not  so  sure  I  'd  have  found  my  betrothed  at  the 
end  of  the  stage.  You  were  my  only  hope;  I  knew  I  could 
rely  upon  you,  —  you  would  carry  on  the  whole  affair  with 
tact  and  discretion.  And  as  to  age,  your  stage  experience 
would  enable  you,  with  a  little  assistance  from  costume,  to 
pass  muster,  — besides  that,  I  have  always  represented  you 
as  the  very  Methuselah  of  the  corps ;  and  in  the  gray  dawn 
of  an  autumnal  morning  —  with  maiden  bashfulness  assist- 
ing —  the  scrutiny  is  not  likely  to  be  a  close  one.  So  now, 
your  consent  is  alone  wanting  to  complete  the  arrange- 
ments which,  before  this  time  to-morrow,  shall  have  made 
me  the  happiest  of  mortals." 

Having  expressed  in  fitting  terms  my  full  sense  of 
obligation  for  the  delicate  flattery  with  which  he  pictured 
me  as  "Old  Lorrequer"  to  the  lady,  I  begged  a  more 
detailed  account  of  his  plan,  which  I  shall  shorten  for  my 
reader's  sake,  by  the  following  brief  expose. 

A  post-chaise  and  four  was  to  be  in  waiting  at  five  o'clock 
in  the  morning  to  convey  me  to  Sir  Alfred  Jonson's  resi- 
dence, about  twelve  miles  distant.  There  I  was  to  be  met 
by  a  lady  at  the  gate-lodge,  who  was  subsequently  to  ac- 
company me  to  a  small  village  on  the  ISTore,  where  an  old 
college  friend  of  Curzon's  happened  to  reside  as  parson, 
and  by  whom  the  treaty  was  to  be  concluded. 

This  was  all  simple  and  clear  enough,  the  only  condition 


208  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

necessary  to  insure  success  being  punctuality,  particularly 
on  the  lady's  part.  As  to  mine,  I  readily  promised  my  best 
aid  and  warmest  efforts  in  my  friend's  behalf. 

"There  is  only  one  thing  more,"  said  Curzon.  "Louisa's 
younger  brother  is  a  devilish  hot-headed,  wild  sort  of  a  fel- 
low, and  it  would  be  as  well,  just  for  precaution's  sake,  to 
have  your  pistols  along  with  you,  if,  by  any  chance,  he 
should  make  out  what  was  going  forward,  —  not  but  that 
you  know,  if  anything  serious  was  to  take  place,  I  should 
be  the  person  to  take  all  that  upon  my  hands." 

"Oh!  of  course,  I  understand,"  said  I.  Meanwhile  1 
could  not  help  running  over  in  my  mind  the  pleasant  possi- 
bilities such  an  adventure  presented,  heartily  wishing  that 
Curzon  had  been  content  to  marry  by  banns,  or  any  other 
of  the  legitimate  modes  in  use,  without  risking  his  friend's 
bones.  The  other  pros  and  cons  of  the  matter,  with  full 
and  accurate  directions  as  to  the  road  to  be  taken  on  obtain- 
ing possession  of  the  lady,  being  all  arranged,  we  parted, 
I  to  settle  my  costume  and  appearance  for  my  first  perform- 
ance in  an  old  man's  part,  and  Curzon  to  obtain  a  short 
leave  for  a  few  days  from  the  commanding  officer  of  the 
regiment. 

When  we  again  met,  which  was  at  the  mess-table,  it  was 
not  without  evidence  on  either  side  of  that  peculiar  con- 
sciousness which  persons  feel  who  have,  or  think  they 
have,  some  secret  in  common  which  the  world  wots  not  of. 
Curzon' s  unusually  quick  and  excited  manner  would  at  once 
have  struck  any  close  observer  as  indicating  the  eve  of  some 
important  step,  no  less  than  continual  allusions  to  whatever 
was  going  on,  by  sly  and  equivocal  jokes  and  ambiguous 
jests.  Happily,  however,  on  the  present  occasion,  the 
party  were  otherwise  occupied  than  watching  him,  being 
most  profoundly  and  learnedly  engaged  in  discussing  medi- 
cine and  matters  medical  with  all  the  acute  and  accurate 
knowledge  which  characterizes  such  discussions  among  the 
non-medical  public. 

The  present  conversation  originated  from  some  mention 
our  senior  surgeon,  Fitzgerald,  had  just  made  of  a  consul- 


THE   WAGER.  209 

tation  which  he  was  invited  to  attend  on  the  next  morning 
at  the  distance  of  twenty  miles,  and  which  necessitated  him 
to  start  at  a  most  uncomfortably  early  hour.  While  he 
continued  to  deplore  the  hard  fate  of  such  men  as  himself, 
so  eagerly  sought  after  by  the  world  that  their  own  hours 
were  eternally  broken  in  upon  by  external  claims,  the  ju- 
niors were  not  sparing  of  their  mirth  on  the  occasion  at  the 
expense  of  the  worthy  doctor,  who,  in  plain  truth,  had 
never  been  disturbed  by  a  request  like  the  present  within 
any  one's  memory.  Some  asserted  that  the  whole  thing 
was  a  puff  got  up  by  Fitz  himself,  who  was  only  going  to 
have  a  day's  partridge-shooting;  others  hinting  that  it  was 
a  blind  to  escape  the  vigilance  of  Mrs.  Fitzgerald  —  a  well* 
known  virago  in  the  regiment  —  while  Fitz  enjoyed  him- 
self; and  a  third  party,  pretending  to  sympathize  with  the 
doctor,  suggested  that  a  hundred  pounds  would  be  the  least 
he  could  possibly  be  offered  for  such  services  as  his  on  so 
grave  an  occasion. 

"No,  no,  only  fifty,"  said  Fitz,  gravely. 

"Fifty!  Why,  you  tremendous  old  humbug,  you  don't 
mean  to  say  you  '11  make  fifty  pounds  before  we  are  out  of 
our  beds  in  the  morning?"  cried  one. 

"  I  '11  take  your  bet  on  it, "  said  the  doctor,  who  had  in  this 
instance  reason  to  suppose  his  fee  would  be  a  large  one. 

During  this  discussion  the  claret  had  been  pushed  round 
rather  freely;  and  fully  bent  as  I  was  upon  the  adventure 
before  me,  I  had  taken  my  share  of  it  as  a  preparation.  I 
thought  of  the  amazing  prize  I  was  about  to  be  instrumental 
in  securing  for  my  friend,  —  for  the  lady  had  really  thirty 
thousaud  pounds,  — and  I  could  not  conceal  my  triumph  at 
such  a  prospect  of  success  in  comparison  with  the  meaner 
object  of  ambition.  They  all  seemed  to  envy  poor  Fitz- 
gerald. I  struggled  with  my  secret  for  some  time;  but  my 
pride  and  the  claret  together  got  the  better  of  me,  and  I 
called  out,  "Fifty  pounds  on  it,  then,  that  before  ten  to- 
morrow morning  I  '11  make  a  better  hit  of  it  than  you,  and 
the  mess  shall  decide  between  us  afterwards  as  to  the 
winner.     And  if  you  will,"  said  I,  seeing  some  reluctance 

VOL.  I.  —  14 


210  HARRY  LORHEQUER. 

on  Fitz's  part  to  take  the  wager,  and  getting  emboldened 
in  consequence,  "let  the  judgment  be  pronounced  over  a 
couple  of  dozen  of  champagne,  paid  by  the  loser." 

This  was  a  couj)  d'etat  on  my  part,  for  I  knew  at  once 
there  were  so  many  parties  to  benefit  by  the  bet,  terminate 
which  way  it  might,  there  could  be  no  possibility  of  evad- 
ing it.  My  device  succeeded,  and  poor  Fitzgerald,  fairly 
badgered  into  a  wager,  the  terms  of  which  he  could  not  in 
the  least  comprehend,  was  obliged  to  sign  the  conditions 
inserted  in  the  Adjutant's  note-book,  his  greatest  hope  in 
so  doing  being  in  the  quantity  of  wine  he  had  seen  me 
drink  during  the  evening.  As  for  myself,  the  bet  was  no 
sooner  made  than  I  began  to  think  upon  the  very  little 
chance  I  had  of  winning  it ;  for  even  supposing  my  success 
perfect  in  the  department  allotted  to  me,  it  might  with 
great  reason  be  doubted  what  peculiar  benefit  I  myself 
derived  as  a  counterbalance  to  the  fee  of  the  doctor.  For 
this,  my  only  trust  lay  in  the  justice  of  a  decision  which  I 
conjectured  would  lean  more  towards  the  goodness  of  a 
practical  joke  than  the  equity  of  the  transaction.  The 
party  at  mess  soon  after  separated,  and  I  wished  my  friend 
good-night  for  the  last  time  before  meeting  him  as  a 
bridegroom. 

I  arranged  everything  in  order  for  my  start.  My  pistol- 
case  I  placed  conspicuously  before  me,  to  avoid  being  for- 
gotten in  the  haste  of  departure;  and  having  ordered  my 
servant  to  sit  up  all  night  in  the  guard-room  until  he  heard 
the  carriage  at  the  barrack-gate,  threw  myself  on  my  bed, 
but  not  to  sleep.  The  adventure  I  was  about  to  engage  in 
suggested  to  my  mind  a  thousand  associations,  into  which 
many  of  the  scenes  I  have  already  narrated  entered.  I 
thought  how  frequently  I  had  myself  been  on  the  verge  of 
that  state  which  Curzon  was  about  to  try,  and  how  it  always 
happened  that  when  nearest  to  success  failure  had  inter- 
vened. From  my  very  schoolboy  days,  my  love  adventures 
had  the  same  unfortunate  abruptness  in  their  issue;  and 
there  seemed  to  be  something  very  like  a  fatality  in  the 
invariable  unsuccess  of  my  efforts  at  marriage.     I  feared, 


THE   WAGER.  211 

too,  tliat  my  friend  Curzon  had  placed  himself  in  very 
unfortunate  hands,  if  augury  were  to  be  relied  upon. 
"Something  will  surely  happen,"  thought  I,  "from  my 
confounded  ill  luck,  and  all  will  be  blown  up."  Wearied 
at  last  with  thinking,  I  fell  into  a  sound  sleep  for  about 
three  quarters  of  an  hour,  at  the  end  of  which  I  was  awoke 
by  my  servant  informing  me  that  a  chaise  and  four  was 
drawn  up  at  the  end  of  the  barrack  lane. 

"Why  surely  they  are  too  early,  Stubbes?  It's  only 
four  o'clock." 

"Yes,  sir;  but  they  say  that  the  road  for  eight  miles  is 
very  bad,  and  they  must  go  it  almost  at  a  walk." 

"That  is  certainly  pleasant,"  thought  I;  "but  I'm  in 
for  it  now,  so  can't  help  it." 

In  a  few  minutes  I  was  up  and  dressed,  and  so  perfectly 
transformed  by  the  addition  of  a  brown  scratch-wig  and 
large  green  spectacles  and  a  deep-flapped  waistcoat  that  my 
servant,  on  re-entering  my  room,  could  not  recognize  me. 
I  followed  him  now  across  the  barrack-yard,  as  with  my 
pistol-case  under  one  arm,  and  a  lantern  in  his  hand,  he 
proceeded  to  the  barrack-gate. 

As  I  passed  beneath  the  Adjutant's  window  I  saw  a  light; 
the  sash  was  quickly  thrown  open,  and  Curzon  appeared. 

"Is  that  you,  Harry?" 

"Yes;  when  do  you  start?" 

"In  about  two  hours.  I  've  only  eight  miles  to  go;  you 
have  upwards  of  twelve,  and  no  time  to  lose.  Success 
attend  you,  my  boy!     We'll  meet  soon." 

"Here  's  the  carriage,  sir;  this  way." 

"Well,  my  lads,  you  know  the  road,  I  suppose?" 

"Every  inch  of  it,  your  honor's  glory, — we're  always 
coming  in  for  doctors  and  'pothecaries ;  they  're  never  a 
week  without  them." 

I  was  soon  seated,  the  door  clapped  to,  the  words  "all 
right "  given,  and  away  we  went. 

Little  as  I  had  slept  during  the  night,  my  mind  was  too 
much  occupied  with  the  adventure  I  was  engaged  in  to  per- 
mit any  thoughts  of  sleep  now,  so  that  I  had  abundant 


212  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

opportunity  afforded  me  of  pondering  over  all  the  bearings 
of  the  case  with  much  more  of  deliberation  and  caution 
than  I  had  yet  bestowed  upon  it.  One  thing  was  certain, 
Avhether  success  did  or  did  not  attend  our  undertaking,  the 
risk  was  mine  and  mine  only ;  and  if  by  any  accident  the 
affair  should  be  already  known  to  the  family,  I  stood  a 
very  fair  chance  of  being  shot  by  one  of  the  sons,  or  stoned 
to  death  by  the  tenantry,  while  my  excellent  friend  Curzon 
should  be  eating  his  breakfast  with  his  reverend  friend, 
and  only  interrupting  himself  in  his  fourth  muffin  to  won- 
der "what  could  keep  them."  And  besides,  for  minor  mis- 
eries will,  like  the  blue  devils  in  "Don  Giovanni,"  thrust 
up  their  heads  among  their  better-grown  brethren,  my 
fifty-pound  bet  looked  rather  blue;  for  even  under  the 
most  favorable  light  considered,  however  Curzon  might  be 
esteemed  a  gainer,  it  might  well  be  doubted  how  far  I  had 
succeeded  better  than  the  doctor  when  producing  his  fee 
in  evidence.  Well,  well,  I'm  in  for  it  now;  but  it  cer- 
tainly is  strange  all  these  very  awkward  circumstances 
never  struck  me  so  forcibly  before.  And,  after  all,  it  was 
not  quite  fair  of  Curzon  to  put  any  man  forward  in  such  a 
transaction,  —  the  more  so  as  such  a  representation  might 
be  made  of  it  at  the  Horse  Guards  as  to  stop  a  man's  pro- 
motion, or  seriously  affect  his  prospects  for  life ;  and  I  at 
last  began  to  convince  myself  that  many  a  man  so  placed 
would  carry  the  lady  off  himself,  and  leave  the  Adjutant  to 
settle  the  affair  with  the  family.  For  two  mortal  hours  did 
I  conjure  up  every  possible  disagreeable  contingency  that 
might  arise.  My  being  mulcted  of  my  fifty,  and  laughed 
at  by  the  mess,  seemed  inevitable,  even  were  I  fortunate 
enough  to  escape  a  duel  with  the  fire-eating  brother.  Mean- 
while a  thick,  misty  rain  continued  to  fall,  adding  so  much 
to  the  darkness  of  the  early  hour  that  I  could  see  little  of 
the  country  about  me,  and  knew  nothing  of  where  I  was. 

Troubles  are  like  laudanum,  a  small  dose  only  excites,  a 
strong  one  sets  you  to  sleep,  —  not  a  very  comfortable  sleep, 
mayhap,  but  still  it  is  sleep,  and  often  very  sound  sleep;  so 
it  now  happened  with  me.     I  had  pondered  over,  weighed, 


THE  WAGER.  213 

and  considered  all  the  pros,  cons,  turnings,  and  windings  of 
this  awkward  predicament,  till  I  had  fairly  convinced  my- 
self that  I  was  on  the  high  road  to  a  confounded  scrape ; 
and  then,  having  established  that  fact  to  my  entire  satisfac- 
tion, I  fell  comfortably  back  in  the  chaise  and  sank  into 
a  most  profound  slumber. 

If  to  any  of  my  readers  I  may  appear  here  to  have  taken 
a  very  despondent  view  of  this  whole  affair,  let  him  only 
call  to  mind  my  invariable  ill  luck  in  such  matters,  and 
how  always  it  had  been  my  lot  to  see  myself  on  the  fair 
road  to  success  only  up  to  that  point  at  which  it  is  certain ; 
besides —  But  why  explain?  These  are  my  "Confes- 
sions." I  may  not  alter  what  are  matters  of  fact,  and  my 
reader  must  only  take  me  with  all  the  imperfections  of 
wrong  motives  and  headlong  impulses  upon  my  head,  or 
abandon  me  at  once. 

Meanwhile  the  chaise  rolled  along,  and  the  road  being 
better  and  the  pace  faster,  my  sleep  became  more  easy; 
thus-  about  an  hour  and  a  half  after  I  had  fallen  asleep 
passed  rapidly  over,  when  the  sharp  turning  of  an  angle 
disturbed  me  from  my  leaning  position,  and  I  awoke.     I 
started  up  and  rubbed  my  eyes;   several  seconds  elapsed 
before  I  could  think  where  I  was  or  whither  going.     Con- 
sciousness at  last  came,  and  I  perceived  that  we  were  driv- 
ing up  a  thickly-planted  avenue.     Why,  confound  it,  they 
can't  have  mistaken  it,  thought  I,  or  are  we  really  going  up 
to  the  house,  instead  of  waiting  at  the  lodge?     I  at  once 
lowered  the  sash,  and  stretching  out  my  head,  cried  out, 
"  Do  you  know  what  ye  are  about,  lads,  —  is  this  all  right?  " 
but  unfortunately,  amid  the  rattling  of  the  gravel  and  the 
clatter  of  the  horses,  my  words  were  unheard;  and  think- 
ing I  was  addressing  a  request  to  go  faster,  the  villains 
cracked  their  whips,  and  breaking  into  a  full  gallop,  before 
five  minutes  flew  over,  they  drew  up  with  a  jerk  at  the  foot 
of  a  long  portico  to  a  large  and  spacious  cut-stone  mansion. 
When  I  rallied  from  the  sudden  check,  which  had  nearly 
thrown  me  through  the  window,  I  gave  myself  up  for  lost; 
here  I  was,  vis-a-vis  the  very  hall-door  of  the  man  whose 


214  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

daughter  I  was  about  to  elope  with,  —  whether  so  placed  by 
the  awkwardness  and  blundering  of  the  wretches  who  drove 
me,  or  delivered  up  by  their  treachery,  it  mattered  not,  my 
fate  seemed  certain;  before  I  had  time  to  determine  upon 
any  line  of  acting  in  this  confounded  dilemma,  the  door  was 
jerked  open  by  a  servant  in  sombre  livery,  who,  protruding 
his  head  and  shoulders  into  the  chaise,  looked  at  me  stead- 
ily for  a  moment  and  said,  "Ah!  then,  Doctor,  darlin', 
but  ye  're  welcome."  With  the  speed  with  which  sometimes 
the  bar  of  an  air  long  since  heard,  or  the  passing  glance  of 
an  old  familiar  face  can  call  up  the  memory  of  our  very  ear- 
liest childood  bright  and  vivid  before  us,  did  that  one  single 
phrase  explain  the  entire  mystery  of  my  present  position, 
and  I  saw  in  one  rapid  glance  that  I  had  got  into  the  chaise 
intended  for  Dr.  Fitzgerald,  and  was  absolutely,  at  that 
moment,  before  the  hall-door  of  the  patient.  My  first  im- 
pulse was  an  honest  one  to  avow  the  mistake  and  retrace 
my  steps,  taking  my  chance  to  settle  with  Curzon,  whose 
matrimonial  scheme  I  foresaw  was  doomed  to  the  untimely 
fate  of  all  those  I  had  ever  been  concerned  in.  My  next 
thought  —  how  seldom  is  the  adage  true  which  says  that 
"second  thoughts  are  best!  " — was  upon  my  luckless  wager; 
for  even  supposing  that  Fitzgerald  should  follow  me  in  the 
other  chaise,  yet,  as  I  had  the  start  of  him,  if  I  could  only 
pass  muster  for  half  an  hour,  I  might  secure  the  fee  and 
evacuate  the  territory.  Besides  that,  there  was  a  great 
chance  of  Fitz's  having  gone  on  my  errand,  while  I  was 
journeying  on  his,  in  which  case  I  should  be  safe  from 
interruption..  Meanwhile,  Heaven  only  could  tell  what  his 
interference  in  poor  Curzon's  business  might  not  involve. 
These  serious  reflections  took  about  ten  seconds  to  pass 
through  my  mind  as  the  grave-looking  old  servant  pro- 
ceeded to  encumber  himself  with  my  cloak  and  my  pistol- 
case,  remarking  as  he  lifted  the  latter.  "And  may  the  Lord 
grant  ye  won't  want  the  instruments  this  time,  Doctor,  for 
they  say  he  is  better  this  morning."  Heartily  wishing 
amen  to  the  benevolent  prayer  of  the  honest  domestic  for 
more  reasons  than  one,  I  descended  leisurely,  as  I  conjee- 


TPIE   WAGER.  215 

tured  a  doctor  ought  to  do,  from  the  chaise,  and  with  a  sol- 
emn pace  and  grave  demeanor  followed  him  into  the  house. 

In  the  small  parlor  to  which  I  was  ushered  sat  two  gen- 
tlemen somewhat  advanced  in  years,  who  I  rightly  sup- 
posed were  my  medical  confreres.  One  of  these  was 
a  tall,  pale,  ascetic-looking  man,  with  gray  hair  and 
retreating  forehead,  slow  in  speech  and  lugubrious  in 
demeanor.  The  other,  his  antithesis,  was  a  short,  rosy- 
cheeked,  apoplectic-looking  subject,  with  a  laugh  like  a 
suffocating  wheeze,  and  a  paunch  like  an  alderman,  his 
quick,  restless  eye  and  full  nether  lip  denoting  more  of  the 
bon  vivant  than  the  abstemious  disciple  of  iEsculapius.  A 
moment's  glance  satisfied  me  that  if  I  had  only  these  to 
deal  with,  I  was  safe,  for  I  saw  that  they  were  of  the  stamp  of 
country  practitioner,  —  half -physician,  half -apothecary,  — 
who  rarely  come  in  contact  with  the  higher  orders  of  their 
art,  and  then  only  to  be  dictated  to,  obey,  and  grumble. 

"Doctor,  may  I  beg  to  intrude  myself,  Mr.  Phipps,  on 
your  notice?  Dr.  Phipps,  or  Mr.,  it's  all  one;  but  I  have 
only  a  license  in  pharmacy,  though  they  call  me  doctor. 
Surgeon  Riley,  sir,  a  very  respectable  practitioner,"  said 
he,  waving  his  hand  towards  his  rubicund  confrere. 

I  at  once  expressed  the  great  happiness  it  afforded  me  to 
meet  such  highly  informed  and  justly  celebrated  gentle- 
men; and  fearing  every  moment  the  arrival  of  the  real 
Simon  Pure  should  cover  me  with  shame  and  disgrace, 
begged  they  would  afford  me,  as  soon  as  possible,  some 
history  of  the  case  we  were  convened  for.  They  accord- 
ingly proceeded  to  expound,  in  a  species  of  duet,  some 
curious  particulars  of  an  old  gentleman  who  had  the  evil 
fortune  to  have  them  for  his  doctors,  and  who  labored  under 
some  swelling  of  the  neck  which  they  differed  as  to  the 
treatment  of,  and  in  consequence  of  which  the  aid  of 
a  third  party  (myself,  Heaven  bless  the  mark!)  was 
requested. 

As  I  could  by  no  means  divest  myself  of  the  fear  of 
Pitz's  arrival,  I  pleaded  the  multiplicity  of  my  professional 
engagements  as  a  reason  for  at  once  seeing  the  patient; 


216  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

upon  which  I  was  conducted  upstairs  by  my  two  brethren, 
and  introduced  to  a  half-lighted  chamber.  In  a  large  easy- 
chair  sat  a  florid-looking  old  man,  with  a  face  in  which 
pain  and  habitual  ill-temper  had  combined  to  absorb  every 
expression. 

"  This  is  the  doctor  of  the  regiment,  sir,  that  you  desired 
to  see,"  said  my  tall  coadjutor. 

"  Oh !  then,  very  well ;  good-morning,  sir.  I  suppose  you 
will  find  out  something  new  the  matter,  for  them  two  there 
have  been  doing  so  every  day  this  two  months." 

"I  trust,  sir,"  I  replied  stiffly,  "that  with  the  assistance 
of  my  learned  friends  much  may  be  done  for  you.  Ha! 
hem!  so  this  is  the  malady.  Turn  your  head  a  little  to 
that  side."  Here  an  awful  groan  escaped  the  sick  man, 
for  I,  it  appears,  had  made  considerable  impression  upon 
rather  a  delicate  part,  — not  unintentionally,  I  must  con- 
fess; for  as  I  remembered  Hoyle's  maxim  at  whist,  "when 
in  doubt  play  a  trump,"  so  I  thought  it  might  be  true  in 
physic,  when  posed  by  a  difficulty,  to  do  a  bold  thing  also. 
"Does  that  hurt  you,  sir?"  said  I,  in  a  soothing  and  affec- 
tionate tone  of  voice. 

"  Like  the  devil, "  growled  the  patient. 

"And  here?"  said  I. 

"Oh!  oh!  I  can't  bear  it  any  longer." 

"Oh!  I  perceive,"  said  I,  "the  thing  is  just  as  I  ex- 
pected." Here  I  raised  my  eyebrows,  and  looked  inde- 
scribably wise  at  my  confreres. 

"No  aneurism,  Doctor,"  said  the  tall  one. 

"Certainly  not." 

"Maybe,"  said  the  short  man,  "maybe  it's  a  stay-at- 
home-with-us  tumor  after  all,"  —  so  at  least  he  appeared  to 
pronounce  a  confounded  technical,  which  I  afterwards 
learned  was  "steatomatous."  Conceiving  that  my  rosy 
friend  was  disposed  to  jeer  at  me,  I  gave  him  a  terrific 
frown  and  resumed,  "This  must  not  be  touched." 

"So  you  won't  operate  upon  it,"  said  the  patient. 

"I  would  not  take  a  thousand  pounds  to  do  so,"  I  replied. 
"Now,   if  you  please,  gentlemen,"  said  I,  making  a  step 


THE  WAGER.  217 

towards  the  door,  as  if  to  withdraw  for  consultation;  upon 
which  they  accompanied  me  downstairs  to  the  breakfast- 
room.  As  it  was  the  only  time  in  my  life  I  had  performed 
in  this  character,  I  had  some  doubts  as  to  the  propriety  of 
indulging  a  very  hearty  breakfast  appetite,  not  knowing  if 
it  were  unprofessional  to  eat;  but  from  this  doubt  my 
learned  friends  speedily  relieved  me,  by  the  entire  devo- 
tion which  they  bestowed  for  about  twenty  minutes  upon 
ham,  rolls,  eggs,  and  cutlets,  barely  interrupting  these  im- 
portant occupations  by  sly  allusions  to  the  old  gentleman's 
malady  and  his  chance  of  recovery. 

"  Well,  Doctor, "  said  the  pale  one,  as  at  length  he  rested 
from  his  labors,  "what  are  we  to  do?" 

"Ay,"  said  the  other,  "there's  the  question." 

"Go  on,"  said  I,  "go  on  as  before;  I  can't  advise  you 
better."  Now,  this  was  a  deep  stroke  of  mine,  for  up  to 
the  present  moment  I  did  not  know  what  treatment  they 
were  practising;  but  it  looked  a  shrewd  thing  to  guess  it, 
and  it  certainly  was  civil  to  approve  of  it. 

"  So  you  think  that  will  be  best?  " 

"  I  am  certain  that  I  know  nothing  better, "  I  answered. 

"Well,  I  'in  sure,  sir,  we  have  every  reason  to  be  gratified 
for  the  very  candid  manner  in  which  you  have  treated  us. 
Sir,  I  'm  your  most  obedient  servant,"  said  the  fat  one. 

"Gentlemen,  both  your  good  healths  and  professional 
success  also."  Here  I  swallowed  a  glass  of  brandy,  think- 
ing all  the  while  there  were  worse  things  than  the  practice 
of  physic. 

"  I  hope  you  are  not  going?  "  said  one,  as  my  chaise  drew 
up  at  the  door. 

"Business  calls  me,"  said  I,  "and  I  can't  help  it." 

"  Could  not  you  manage  to  see  our  friend  here  again  in  a 
day  or  two?"  said  the  rosy  one. 

"I  fear  it  will  be  impossible,"  replied  I;  "besides,  I 
have  a  notion  he  may  not  desire  it. " 

"I  have  been  commissioned  to  hand  you  this,"  said  the 
tall  doctor,  with  a  half  sigh,  as  he  put  a  check  into  my 
hand. 


218  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

I  bowed  slightly,  and  stuffed  the  crumpled  paper  with  a 
half-careless  air  into  my  waistcoat  pocket;  aud  wishing 
them  both  every  species  of  happiness  and  success,  shook 
hands  four  times  with  each,  and  drove  off,  never  believing 
myself  safe  till  I  saw  the  gate-lodge  behind  me,  and  felt 
myself  flying  on  the  road  to  Kilkenny  at  about  twelve  miles 
Irish  an  hour. 


CHAPTER  XVIII. 

THE   ELOPEMENT. 

It  was  past  two  o'clock  when  I  reached  the  town.  On 
entering  the  barrack-yard  I  perceived  a  large  group  of  offi- 
cers chatting  together,  and  every  moment  breaking  into 
immoderate  fits  of  laughter.  I  went  over  and  immediately 
learned  the  source  of  their  mirth,  which  was  this.  No 
sooner  had  it  been  known  that  Fitzgerald  was  about  to  go 
to  a  distance  on  a  professional  call  than  a  couple  of  young 
officers  laid  their  heads  together  and  wrote  an  anonymous 
note  to  Mrs.  Fitz,  who  was  the  very  dragon  of  jealousy, 
informing  her  that  her  husband  had  feigned  the  whole  his- 
tory of  the  patient  and  consultation  as  an  excuse  for  absent- 
ing himself  on  an  excursion  of  gallantry,  and  that  if  she 
wished  to  satisfy  herself  of  the  truth  of  the  statement  she 
had  only  to  follow  him  in  the  morning  and  detect  his  entire 
scheme;  the  object  of  these  amiable  friends  being  to  give 
poor  Mrs.  Fitz  a  twenty  miles'  jaunt,  and  confront  her  with 
her  injured  husband  at  the  end  of  it. 

Having  a  mind  actively  alive  to  suspicions  of  this  nature, 
the  worthy  woman  made  all  her  arrangements  for  a  start ; 
and  scarcely  was  the  chaise-and-four,  with  her  husband, 
out  of  the  town  than  she  was  on  the  track  of  it,  with  a 
heart  bursting  with  jealousy,  and  vowing  vengeance  to  the 
knife  against  all  concerned  in  this  scheme  to  wrong  her. 

So  far  the  plan  of  her  persecutors  had  perfectly  suc- 
ceeded; they  saw  her  depart  on  a  trip  of,  as  they  supposed, 
twenty  miles,  and  their  whole  notions  of  the  practical  joke 
were  limited  to  the  eclaircissement  that  must  ensue  at  the 
end.  Little,  however,  were  they  aware  how  much  more 
near  the  suspected  crime  was  the  position  of  the  poor  doc- 
tor to  turn  out;  for  as,  by  one  blunder,  I  had  taken  his 


220  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

chaise,  so  he,  without  any  inquiry  whatever,  had  got  into 
the  one  intended  for  me,  and  never  awoke  from  a  most 
refreshing  slumber  till  shaken  by  the  shoulder  by  the  pos- 
tilion, who  whispered  in  his  ear,  "Here  Ave  are,  sir;  this 
is  the  gate." 

"But  why  stop  at  the  gate?  Drive  up  the  avenue,  my 
boy." 

"His  honor  told  me,  sir,  not  for  the  world  to  go  farther 
than  the  lodge,  nor  to  make  as  much  noise  as  a  mouse." 

"Ah!  very  true.  He  may  be  very  irritable,  poor  man! 
Well,  stop  here,  and  I  '11  get  out." 

Just  as  the  doctor  had  reached  the  ground,  a  very  smart- 
looking  soubrette  tripped  up  and  said  to  him,  — 

"Beg  pardon,  sir,  but  you  are  the  gentleman  from  the 
barrack,  sir?" 

"Yes,  my  dear,"  said  Fitz,  with  a  knowing  look  at  the 
pretty  face  of  the  damsel;  "what  can  I  do  for  you?" 

"Why,  sir,  my  mistress  is  here  in  the  shrubbery;  but 
she  is  so  nervous  and  so  frightened,  I  don't  know  she  '11  go 
through  it." 

"Ah!  she's  frightened,  poor  thing,  is  she?  Oh!  she 
must  keep  up  her  spirits;  while  there's  life  there's 
hope." 

"Sir?" 

"I  say,  my  darling,  she  must  not  give  way.  I  '11  speak 
to  her  a  little.     Is  not  he  rather  advanced  in  life?" 

"Oh,  Lord,  no,  sir!  Only  two  and  thirty,  my  mistress 
tells  me." 

"Two  and  thirty!     Why,  I  thought  he  was  above  sixty." 

"Above  sixty!  Law,  sir,  you  have  a  bright  fancy!  This 
is  the  gentleman,  ma'am.  Now,  sir,  I  '11  just  slip  aside  for 
a  moment  and  let  you  talk  to  her." 

"  I  am  grieved,  ma'am,  that  I  have  not  the  happiness  to 
make  your  accpiaintance  under  happier  circumstances." 

"I  must  confess,  sir,  though  I  am  ashamed  —  " 

"Never  be  ashamed,  ma'am;  your  grief,  although  I  trust 
causeless,  does  you  infinite  honor.  —  Upon  my  soul,  she  is 
rather  pretty,"  said  the  doctor  to  himself  here. 


THE  ELOPEMENT.  221 

"Well,  sir,  as  I  have  the  most  perfect  confidence  in 
you,  from  all  I  have  heard  of  you,  I  trust  you  will  not 
think  me  abrupt  in  saying  that  any  longer  delay  here  is 
dangerous." 

"Dangerous!     Is  he  in  so  critical  a  state  as  that,  then?" 

"Critical  a  state,  sir,  why,  what  do  you  mean?" 

"I  mean,  ma'am,  do  you  think,  then,  it  must  be  done 
to-day?" 

"Of  course  I  do,  sir;  and  I  shall  never  leave  the  spot 
without  your  assuring  me  of  it." 

"Oh!  in  that  case  make  your  mind  easy;  I  have  the 
instruments  in  the  chaise." 

"The  instruments  in  the  chaise!  Really,  sir,  if  you  are 
not  jesting,  —  I  trust  you  don't  think  this  is  a  fitting  time 
for  such,  —  I  entreat  of  you  to  speak  more  plainly  and 
intelligibly." 

"Jesting,  ma'am!  I'm  incapable  of  jesting  at  such  a 
moment." 

"Ma'am,  ma'am!  I  see  one  of  the  rangers,  ma'am,  at  a 
distance ;  so  don't  lose  a  moment,  but  get  into  the  chaise  at 
once." 

"  Well,  sir,  let  us  away ;  for  I  have  now  gone  too  far  to 
retract." 

"Help  my  mistress  into  the  chaise,  sir.  Lord!  what  a 
man  it  is." 

A  moment  more  saw  the  poor  doctor  seated  beside  the 
young  lady,  while  the  postilions  plied  whip  and  spur  with 
their  best  energy,  and  the  road  flew  beneath  them.  Mean- 
while the  delay  caused  by  this  short  dialogue  enabled  Mrs. 
Fitz's  slower  conveyance  to  come  up  with  the  pursuit,  and 
her  chaise  had  just  turned  the  angle  of  the  road  as  she 
caught  a  glimpse  of  a  muslin  dress  stepping  into  the  car- 
riage with  her  husband. 

There  are  no  words  capable  of  conveying  the  faintest  idea 
of  the  feelings  that  agitated  Mrs.  Fitz  at  this  moment.  The 
fullest  confirmation  to  her  worst  fears  was  before  her  eyes, 
—  just  at  the  very  instant  when  a  doubt  was  beginning  to 


222  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

cross  over  lier  mind  that  it  might  have  been  merely  a  hoax 
that  was  practised  on  her,  and  that  the  worthy  doctor  was 
innocent  and  blameless.  As  for  the  poor  doctor  himself, 
there  seemed  little  chance  of  his  being  enlightened  as  to 
the  real  state  of  matters ;  for  from  the  moment  the  young 
lady  had  taken  her  place  in  the  chaise,  she  had  buried  her 
face  in  her  hands  and  sobbed  continually.  Meanwhile  he 
concluded  that  they  were  approaching  the  house  by  some 
back  entrance  to  avoid  noise  and  confusion,  and  waited  with 
due  patience  for  the  journey's  end. 

As,  however,  her  grief  continued  unabated,  Fitz  at  length 
began  to  think  of  the  many  little  consolatory  acts  he  had 
successfully  practised  in  his  professional  career,  and  was 
just  insinuating  some  very  tender  speech  on  the  score  of 
resignation,  with  his  head  inclined  towards  the  weeping 
lady  beside  him,  when  the  chaise  of  Mrs.  Fitz  came  up 
alongside,  and  the  postilions  having  yielded  to  the  call  to 
halt,  drew  suddenly  up,  displaying  to  the  enraged  wife  the 
tableau  we  have  mentioned. 

"  So,  wretch !  "  she  screamed  rather  than  spoke,  "  I  have 
detected  you  at  last." 

"Lord  bless  me!     Why,  it  is  my  wife." 

"Yes,  villain!  your  injured,  much-wronged  wife!  And 
you,  madam,  may  I  ask  what  have  you  to  say  for  thus  elop- 
ing with  a  married  man?" 

"  Shame !  My  dear  Jemima, "  said  Fitz,  "  how  can  you 
possibly  permit  your  foolish  jealousy  so  far  to  blind  your 
reason?  Don't  you  see  I  am  going  upon  a  professional 
call?" 

"Oh!  you  are,  are  you?  Quite  professional,  I'll  be 
bound!  " 

"Oh,  sir,  oh,  madam,  I  beseech  you,  save  me  from  the 
anger  of  my  relatives  and  the  disgrace  of  exposure!  Pray 
take  me  back  at  once." 

"Why,  Heavens!  ma'am,  what  do  you  mean?  You  are 
not  gone  mad,  as  well  as  my  wife !  " 

"Really,  Mr.  Fitz,"  said  Mrs.  F.,  "this  is  carrying  the 


•     THE  ELOPEMENT.  223 

joke  too  far.  Take  your  unfortunate  victim  —  as  I  suppose 
she  is  such  —  home  to  her  parents,  and  prepare  to  accom- 
pany me  to  the  barrack  j  and  if  there  be  law  and  justice 
in  —  " 

"Well!  may  the  Lord  in  his  mercy  preserve  my  senses, 
or  you  will  both  drive  me  clean  mad." 

"Oh,  dear!  oh,  dear!"  sobbed  the  young  lady,  while 
Mrs.  Fitzgerald  continued  to  upbraid  at  the  top  of  her 
voice,  heedless  of  the  disclaimers  and  protestations  of  inno- 
cence poured  out  with  the  eloquence  of  despair  by  the  poor 
doctor.  Matters  were  in  this  state  when  a  man  dressed  in 
a  fustian  jacket,  like  a  groom,  drove  up  to  the  side  of  the 
road  in  a  tax-cart;  he  immediately  got  down,  and  tearing 
open  the  door  of  the  doctor's  chaise,  lifted  out  the  young 
lady  and  deposited  her  safely  in  his  own  conveyance, 
merely  adding,  — 

"I  say,  master,  you're  in  luck  this  morning  that  Mr. 
William  took  the  lower  road ;  for  if  he  had  come  up  with 
you  instead  of  me,  he  'd  blow  the  roof  off  your  skull, 
that's  all." 

While  these  highly  satisfactory  words  were  being  ad- 
dressed to  poor  Fitz,  Mrs.  Fitzgerald  had  removed  from 
her  carriage  to  that  of  her  husband,  —  perhaps  preferring 
four  horses  to  two;  or  perhaps  she  had  still  more  unex- 
plained views  of  the  transaction,  which  might  as  well  be 
told  on  the  road  homeward. 

Whatever  might  have  been  the  nature  of  Mrs.  F.'s  dis- 
sertation, nothing  is  known.  The  chaise  containing  these 
turtle-doves  arrived  late  at  night  at  Kilkenny,  and  Fitz  was 
installed  safely  in  his  quarters  before  any  one  knew  of  his 
having  come  back.  The  following  morning  he  was  reported 
ill,  and  for  three  weeks  he  was  but  once  seen,  and  at  that 
time  only  at  his  window,  with  a  flannel  nightcap  on  his 
head,  looking  particularly  pale,  and  rather  dark  under  one 
eye. 

As  for  Curzon,  the  last  thing  known  of  him  that  luckless 
morning  was  his  hiring  a  post-chaise  for  the  Eoyal  Oak, 


224  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

from  whence  he  posted  to  Dublin,  and  hastened  on  to 
England.  In  a  few  days  we  learned  that  the  Adjutant  had 
exchanged  into  a  regiment  in  Canada;  and  to  this  hour 
there  are  not  three  men  in  the  4 — th  who  know  the  real 
secret  of  that  morning's  misadventures. 


CHAPTER  XIX. 

DETACHMENT    DUTY. AN    ASSIZE   TOWN. 

As  there  appeared  to  be  but  little  prospect  of  poor 
Fitzgerald  ever  requiring  any  explanation  from  me  as  to 
the  events  of  that  morning,  for  he  feared  to  venture  from 
his  room  lest  he  might  be  recognized  and  prosecuted  for 
abduction,  I  thought  it  better  to  keep  my  own  secret  also ; 
and  it  was  therefore  with  a  feeling  of  anything  but  regret 
that  I  received  an  order,  which  under  other  circumstances 
would  have  rendered  me  miserable,  to  march  on  detachment 
duty.  To  any  one  at  all  conversant  with  the  life  we  lead 
in  the  army,  I  need  not  say  how  unpleasant  such  a  change 
usually  is.  To  surrender  your  capital  mess  with  all  its 
well-appointed  equipments,  your  jovial  brother  officers, 
your  West  India  Madeira,  your  cool  Lafitte,  your  daily, 
hourly,  and  half -hourly  flirtations  with  the  whole  female 
population,  —  never  a  deficient  one  in  a  garrison  town,  — 
not  to  speak  of  your  matches  at  trotting,  coursing,  and 
pigeon-shooting,  and  a  hundred  other  delectable  modes  of 
getting  over  the  ground  through  life  till  it  please  your 
ungrateful  country  and  the  Horse  Guards  to  make  you  a 
major-general,  —  to  surrender  all  these,  I  say,  for  the  noise, 
dust,  and  damp  disagreeables  of  a  country  inn,  with  bacon 
to  eat,  whiskey  to  drink,  and  the  priest  or  the  constabulary 
chief  to  get  drunk  with  (I  speak  of  Ireland  here),  and  your 
only  affair  par  amours  being  the  occasional  ogling  of  the 
apothecary's  daughter  opposite  as  often  as  she  visits  the 
shop  in  the  exciting  occupation  of  measuring  out  garden 
seeds  and  senna.  These  are,  indeed,  the  exchanges,  with 
a  difference,  for  which  there  is  no  compensation;  and  for 
my  own  part,  I  never  went  upon  such  duty  that  I  did  not 
exclaim  with  the  honest  Irishman  when  the  mail  went  over 

VOL.  I,  —  15 


226  HARRY  LORREQtTER. 

him,  "0  Lord!  what  is  this  for?"  firmly  believing  that  in 
the  earthly  purgatory  of  such  duties  I  was  reaping  the 
heavy  retribution  attendant  on  past  offences. 

Besides,  from  being  rather  a  crack  man  in  my  corps,  I 
thought  it  somewhat  hard  that  my  turn  for  such  duty 
should  come  round  about  twice  as  often  as  that  of  my 
brother  officers.  But  so  it  is;  I  never  knew  a  fellow  a 
little  smarter  than  his  neighbors  that  was  not  pounced 
upon  by  his  colonel  for  a  victim.  Now,  however,  I  looked 
at  these  matters  in  a  very  different  light.  To  leave  head- 
quarters was  to  escape  being  questioned;  while  there  was 
scarcely  any  post  to  which  I  could  be  sent  where  something 
strange  or  adventurous  might  not  turn  up  and  serve  me  to 
erase  the  memory  of  the  past  and  turn  the  attention  of  my 
companions  in  any  quarter  rather  than  towards  myself. 

My  orders  on  the  present  occasion  were  to  march  to 
Clonmel,  from  whence  I  was  to  proceed  a  short  distance 
to  the  house  of  a  magistrate  upon  whose  information,  trans- 
mitted to  the  Chief  Secretary,  the  present  assistance  of  a 
military  party  had  been  obtained;  and  not  without  every 
appearance  of  reason.  The  assizes  of  the  town  were  about 
to  be  held,  and  many  capital  offences  stood  for  trial  in  the 
calendar;  and  as  it  was  strongly  rumored  that  in  the  event 
of  certain  convictions  being  obtained,  a  rescue  would  be 
attempted,  a  general  attack  upon  the  town  seemed  a  too 
natural  consequence;  and  if  so,  the  house  of  so  obnoxious 
a  person  as  him  I  have  alluded  to  would  be  equally  certain 
of  being  assailed.  Such,  at  least,  is  too  frequently  the 
history  of  such  scenes.  Beginning  with  no  one  definite 
object,  —  sometimes  a  slight  one,  —  more  ample  views  and 
wider  conceptions  of  mischief  follow,  and  what  has  begun 
in  a  drunken  riot,  a  casual  rencontre,  may  terminate  in  the 
slaughter  of  a  family  or  the  burning  of  a  village.  The 
finest  peasantry  —  God  bless  them!  —  are  a  quick  people, 
and  readier  at  taking  a  hint  than  most  others,  and  have, 
withal,  a  natural  taste  for  fighting  that  no  acquired  habits 
of  other  nations  can  pretend  to  vie  with. 

As  the  worthy  person  to  whose  house  I  was  now  about  to 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  227 

proceed  was,  and,  if  I  am  riglitly  informed,  is,  rather  a 
remarkable  character  in  the  local  history  of  Irish  politics, 
I  may  as  well  say  a  few  words  concerning  him.  Mr.  Joseph 
Larkins,  Esq.,  — for  so  he  signed  himself,  — had  only  been 
lately  elevated  to  the  bench  of  magistrates.  He  was  origi- 
nally one  of  that  large  but  intelligent  class  called  in  Ire- 
land "small  farmers,"  remarkable  chiefly  for  a  considerable 
tact  in  driving  hard  bargains,  a  great  skill  in  wethers,  a 
rather  national  dislike  to  pay  all  species  of  imposts,  whether 
partaking  of  the  nature  of  tax,  tithe,  grand  jury  cess,  or 
anything  of  that  nature  whatsoever.  So  very  accountable 
—  I  had  almost  said  (for  I  have  been  long  quartered  in 
Ireland)  so  very  laudable  —  a  propensity  excited  but  little 
of  surprise  or  astonishment  in  his  neighbors,  the  majority 
of  whom  entertained  very  similar  views,  —  none,  however, 
possessing  anything  like  the  able  and  lawyer-like  ability  of 
the  worthy  Larkins  for  the  successful  evasion  of  these 
inroads  upon  the  liberty  of  the  subject.  Such,  in  fact,  was 
his  talent,  and  so  great  his  success  in  this  respect,  that  he 
had  established  what,  if  it  did  not  actually  amount  to  a 
statute  of  exemption  in  law,  served  equally  well  in  reality ; 
and  for  several  years  he  enjoyed  a  perfect  immunity  on  the 
subject  of  money-paying  in  general.  His  "little  houldin'," 
as  he  unostentatiously  called  some  five  hundred  acres  of 
bog,  mountain,  and  sheep-walk,  lay  in  a  remote  part  of  the 
county;  the  roads  were  nearly  impassable  for  several  miles 
in  that  direction;  land  was  of  little  value;  the  agent  was  a 
timid  man  with  a  large  family;  of  three  tithe-proctors  who 
had  penetrated  into  the  forbidden  territory,  two  labored 
under  a  dyspepsia  for  life,  not  being  able  to  digest  parch- 
ment and  sealing-wax,  for  they  usually  dined  on  their 
own  writs,  and  the  third  gave  five  pounds  out  of  his  pocket 
to  a  large,  fresh-looking  man,  with  brown  whiskers  and 
beard,  that  concealed  him  two  nights  in  a  hayloft  to  escape 
the  vengeance  of  the  people,  —  which  act  of  philanthropy 
should  never  be  forgotten,  if  some  ill-natured  people  were 
not  bold  enough  to  say  that  the  kind  individual  in  question 
was  no  other  man  than  Larkins  himself. 


228  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

However  this  may  be,  true  it  is  that  this  was  the  last 
attempt  made  to  bring  within  the  responsibilities  of  the 
law  so  refractory  a  subject;  and  so  powerful  is  habit  that 
although  he  was  to  be  met  with  at  every  market  and  cattle- 
fair  in  the  county,  an  arrest  of  his  person  was  no  more 
contemplated  than  if  he  enjoyed  the  privilege  of  parliament 
to  go  at  large  without  danger. 

When  the  country  became  disturbed,  and  nightly  meet- 
ings of  the  peasantry  were  constantly  held,  followed  by 
outrages  against  life  and  property  to  the  most  frightful 
extent,  the  usual  resources  of  the  law  were  employed  una- 
vailingly.  It  was  in  vain  to  offer  high  rewards ;  approvers 
could  not  be  found;  and  so  perfectly  organized  were  the 
secret  associations  that  few  beyond  the  very  ringleaders 
knew  anything  of  consequence  to  communicate.  Special 
commissions  were  sent  down  from  Dublin,  additional 
police  force,  detachments  of  military;  long  correspondences 
took  place  between  the  magistracy  and  the  government. 
But  all  in  vain,  the  disturbances  continued,  and  at  last  to 
such  a  height  had  they  risen  that  the  country  was  put 
under  martial  law;  and  even  this  was  ultimately  found 
perfectly  insufficient  to  repel  what  now  daily  threatened  to 
become  an  open  rebellion  rather  than  mere  agrarian  dis- 
turbance. It  was  at  this  precise  moment,  when  all  resources 
seemed  to  be  fast  exhausting  themselves,  that  certain  infor- 
mation reached  the  Castle  of  the  most  important  nature. 
The  individual  who  obtained  and  transmitted  it  had  per- 
illed his  life  in  so  doing;  but  the  result  was  a  great  one,  — 
no  less  than  the  capital  conviction  and  execution  of  seven 
of  the  most  influential  amongst  the  disaffected  peasantry. 
Confidence  was  at  once  shaken  in  the  secrecy  of  their  asso- 
ciates; distrust  and  suspicion  followed.  Many  of  the 
boldest  sank  beneath  the  fear  of  betrayal,  and  themselves 
became  evidence  for  the  Crown;  and  in  five  months  a 
county  abounding  in  midnight  meetings  and  blazing  with 
insurrectionary  fires  became  almost  the  most  tranquil  in 
its  province.  It  may  well  be  believed  that  he  who  rendered 
this  important  service  on  this  trying  emergency  could  not 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  229 

be  passed  over,  and  the  name  of  J.  Larkins  soon  after 
appeared  in  the  "Gazette"  as  one  of  his  Majesty's  justices 
of  the  peace  for  the  county,  —  pretty  much  in  the  same 
spirit  in  which  a  country  gentleman  converts  the  greatest 
poacher  in  his  neighborhood  by  making  him  his  game- 
keeper. 

In  person  he  was  a  large  and  powerfully  built  man,  con- 
siderably above  six  feet  in  height,  and  possessing  great 
activity,  combined  with  powers  of  enduring  fatigue  almost 
incredible.  With  an  eye  like  a  hawk  and  a  heart  that  never 
knew  fear,  he  was  the  person  of  all  others  calculated  to 
strike  terror  into  the  minds  of  the  country  people.  The 
reckless  daring  with  which  he  threw  himself  into  danger, 
the  almost  impetuous  quickness  with  which  he  followed  up 
a  scent  whenever  information  reached  him  of  an  important 
character,  had  their  full  effect  upon  a  people  who,  long 
accustomed  to  the  slowness  and  the  uncertainty  of  the  law, 
were  almost  paralyzed  at  beholding  detection  and  punish- 
ment follow  on  crime  as  certainly  as  the  thunder-crash  fol- 
lows the  lightning. 

His  great  instrument  for  this  purpose  was  the  obtaining 
information  from  sworn  members  of  the  secret  societies,  and 
whose  names  never  appeared  in  the  course  of  a  trial  or  a 
prosecution  until  the  measure  of  their  iniquity  was  com- 
pleted, when  they  usually  received  a  couple  of  hundred 
pounds  blood-money,  as  it  was  called,  with  which  they  took 
themselves  away  to  America  or  Australia,  —  their  lives 
being  only  secured  while  they  remained  by  the  shelter 
afforded  them  in  the  magistrate's  own  house.  And  so  it 
happened  that  constantly  there  numbered  from  ten  to 
twelve  of  these  wretches,  inmates  of  his  family,  each  of 
whom  had  the  burden  of  participation  in  one  murder  at 
least,  waiting  for  an  opportunity  to  leave  the  country  unno- 
ticed and  unwatched. 

Such  a  frightful  and  unnatural  state  of  things  can  hardly 
be  conceived ;  and  yet,  shocking  as  it  was,  it  was  a  relief  to 
that  which  led  to  it.  I  have  dwelt,  perhaps,  too  long  upon 
this  painful  subject;  but  let  my  reader  now  accompany  me 


230  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

a  little  farther,  and  the  scene  shall  be  changed.  Does  he 
see  that  long,  low  white  house,  with  a  tall,  steep  roof,  per- 
forated with  innumerable  narrow  windows?  There  are  a 
few  straggling  beech-trees  upon  a  low,  bleak-looking  field 
before  the  house,  which  is  called  by  courtesy  the  lawn;  a 
pig  or  two,  some  geese,  and  a  tethered  goat  are  here  and 
there  musing  over  the  state  of  Ireland;  while  some  rosy, 
curly -headed,  noisy,  and  bare-legged  urchins  are  gambolling 
before  the  door.  This  is  the  dwelling  of  the  worshipful 
justice,  to  which  myself  and  my  party  were  now  approach- 
ing with  that  degree  of  activity  which  attends  on  most 
marches  of  twenty  miles  under  the  oppressive  closeness  of 
a  day  in  autumn.  Fatigued  and  tired  as  I  was,  yet  I  could 
not  enter  the  little  enclosure  before  the  house  without  stop- 
ping for  a  moment  to  admire  the  view  before  me.  It  was 
a  large  tract  of  rich  country,  undulating  ou  every  side,  and 
teeming  with  corn-fields  in  all  the  yellow  gold  of  ripeness; 
here  and  there,  almost  hid  by  small  clumps  of  ash  and 
alder,  were  scattered  some  cottages,  from  which  the  blue 
smoke  rose  in  a  curling  column  into  the  calm  evening  sky. 
All  was  graceful  and  beautifully  tranquil,  and  you  might 
have  selected  the  picture  as  emblematic  of  that  happiness 
and  repose  we  so  constantly  associate  with  our  ideas  of  the 
country;  and  yet  before  that  sun  had  even  set  which  now 
gilded  the  landscape,  its  glories  would  be  replaced  by  the 
lurid  glare  of  nightly  incendiarism  and  —  But  here,  for- 
tunately for  my  reader,  and  perhaps  myself,  I  am  inter- 
rupted in  my  meditations  by  a  rich,  mellifluous  accent, 
saying,  in  the  true  Doric  of  the  South,  — 

"Mr.  Lorrequer,  you're  welcome  to  Curryglass,  sir! 
You  've  had  a  hot  day  for  your  march.  Maybe  you  'd  take 
a  taste  of  sherry  before  dinner?  Well,  then,  we  '11  not  wait 
for  Molowny,  but  order  it  up  at  once." 

So  saying,  I  was  ushered  into  a  long,  low  drawing-room, 
in  which  were  collected  together  about  a  dozen  men,  to 
whom  I  was  specially  and  severally  presented,  and  among 
whom  I  was  happy  to  find  my  boarding-house  acquaintance, 
Mr,  Daly,  who,  with  the  others,  had  arrived  that  same  day 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  231 

for  the  assizes,  and  who  were  all  members  of  the  legal  pro- 
fession, either  barristers,  attorneys,  or  clerks  of  the  peace. 
The  hungry  aspect  of  the  guests,  no  less  than  the  speed 
with  which  dinner  made  its  appearance  after  my  arrival, 
showed  me  that  my  coming  was  only  waited  for  to  complete 
the  party,  the  Mr.  Molowny  before  alluded  to  being  unani- 
mously voted  present.  The  meal  itself  had  but  slight  pre- 
tensions to  elegance,  —  there  were  no  delicacies  of  Parisian 
taste,  no  triumphs  of  French  cookery;  but  in  their  place 
stood  a  lordly  fish  of  some  five  and  twenty  pounds  weight, 
a  massive  sirloin,  with  all  the  usual  armament  of  fowls, 
ham,  pigeon-pie,  beefsteak,  etc.,  lying  in  rather  a  promis- 
cuous order  along  either  side  of  the  table.  The  party  were 
evidently  disposed  to  be  satisfied,  and  I  acknowedge  I  did 
not  prove  an  exception  to  the  learned  individuals  about  me, 
either  in  my  relish  for  the  good  things,  or  my  appetite  to 
enjoy  them.  Dulce  est  desipere  in  loco,  says  some  one,  — 
by  which  I  suppose  is  meant  that  a  rather  slang  company  is 
occasionally  good  fun.  Whether  from  my  taste  for  the 
"  humanities  "  or  not,  I  am  unable  to  say,  but  certainly  in 
my  then  humor  I  should  not  have  exchanged  my  position 
for  one  of  much  greater  pretensions  to  elegance  and  ton. 
There  was  first  a  general  onslaught  upon  the  viands,  crash- 
ing of  plates,  jingling  of  knives,  mingling  with  requests  for 
"more  beef,"  "the  hard  side  of  the  salmon,"  or  "another 
slice  of  ham."  Then  came  a  dropping  fire  of  drinking  wine, 
which  quickly  increased,  the  decanters  of  sherry  for  about 
ten  minutes  resting  upon  the  table  about  as  long  as  Taglioni 
touches  this  mortal  earth  in  one  of  her  flying  movements. 
Acquaintances  were  quickly  formed  between  the  members 
of  the  Bar  and  myself,  and  I  found  that  my  momentary 
popularity  was  likely  to  terminate  in  my  downfall;  for  as 
each  introduction  was  followed  by  a  bumper  of  strong 
sherry,  I  did  not  expect  to  last  till  the  end  of  the  feast. 
The  cloth  at  length  disappeared,  and  I  was  just  thanking 
Providence  for  the  respite  from  hob-nobbing  which  I  imag- 
ined was  to  follow,  when  a  huge  square  decanter  of  whiskey 
appeared,  flanked  by  an  enormous  jug  of  boiling  water,  and 


232  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

renewed  preparations  for  drinking  upon  a  large  scale  seri- 
ously commenced.  It  was  just  at  this  moment  that  I  for 
the  first  time  perceived  the  rather  remarkable  figure  who 
had  waited  upon  us  at  dinner,  and  who,  while  I  chronicle 
so  many  things  of  little  import,  deserves  a  slight  mention. 
He  was  a  little  old  man  of  about  fifty-five  or  sixty  years, 
wearing  upon  his  head  a  barrister's  wig,  and  habited  in 
clothes  which  originally  had  been  the  costume  of  a  very 
large  and  bulky  person,  and  which,  consequently,  added 
much  to  the  drollery  of  his  appearance.  He  had  been  for 
forty  years  the  servant  of  Judge  Vandeleur,  and  had  entered 
his  present  service  rather  in  the  light  of  a  preceptor  than  a 
menial,  invariably  dictating  to  the  worthy  justice  upon 
every  occasion  of  etiquette  or  propriety  by  a  reference  to 
what  "the  judge  himself"  did,  which  always  sufficed  to 
carry  the  day  in  Nicholas's  favor,  opposition  to  so  correct  a 
standard  never  being  thought  of  by  the  justice. 

"That's  Billy  Crow's  own  whiskey,  the  '  small  still,*" 
said  Nicholas,  placing  the  decanter  upon  the  table ;  "  make 
much  of  it,  for  there  is  n't  such  dew  in  the  county. " 

With  this  commendation  upon  the  liquor,  Nicholas  de- 
parted, and  we  proceeded  to  fill  our  glasses. 

I  cannot  venture  —  perhaps  it  is  so  much  the  better  that 
I  cannot  —  to  give  any  idea  of  the  conversation  which  at 
once  broke  out,  as  if  the  barriers  that  restrained  it  had 
at  length  given  way.  But  law-talk  in  all  its  plenitude 
followed;  and  for  two  hours  I  heard  of  nothing  but  writs, 
detainers,  declarations,  traverses  in  prox,  and  alibis,  with 
sundry  hints  for  qui  tarn  processes,  interspersed,  occasion- 
ally, with  sly  jokes  about  packing  juries  and  confounding 
witnesses,  among  which  figured  the  usual  number  of  good 
things  attributed  to  the  Chief-Baron  O'Grady  and  the  other 
sayers  of  smart  sayings  at  the  Bar. 

"  Ah ! "  said  Mr.  Daly,  drawing  a  deep  sigh  at  the  same 
instant,  "  the  Bar  is  sadly  fallen  off  since  I  was  called  in 
the  year  '76.  There  was  not  a  leader  in  one  of  the  circuits 
at  that  time  that  could  n't  puzzle  any  jury  that  ever  sat  in 
a  box;  and  as  for  driving  through  an  Act  of  Parliament,  it 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  233 

was,  as  Sancho  Panza  says,  cakes  and  gingerbread  to  them. 
And  then  there  is  one  special  talent  lost  forever  to  the  pres- 
ent generation,  —  just  like  stained  glass,  and  illuminated 
manuscripts,  and  slow  poisons,  and  the  like,  that  were  all 
known  years  ago,  —  I  mean  the  beautiful  art  of  addressing 
the  judge  before  the  jury,  and  not  letting  them  know  you 
were  quizzing  them,  if  ye  like  to  do  that  same.  Poor  Peter 
Purcell  for  that  —  rest  his  ashes !  —  he  could  cheat  the  devil 
himself  if  he  had  need,  —  and  maybe  he  has  had  before 
now.     Peter  is  sixteen  years  dead  last  November." 

"And  what  was  Peter's  peculiar  tact  in  that  respect,  Mr. 
Daly?"  said  I. 

"  Oh !  then,  I  might  try  for  hours  to  explain  it  to  you  in 
vain;  but  I'll  just  give  you  an  instance  that'll  show  you 
better  than  all  my  dissertations  on  the  subject,  and  I  was 
present  myself  when  it  happened,  more  by  token  it  was  the 
first  time  I  ever  met  him  on  circuit. 

"I  suppose  there  is  scarcely  any  one  here  now,  except 
myself,  that  remembers  the  great  cause  of  Mills  versus 
Mulcahy,  a  Widow,  and  Others,  that  was  tried  in  Ennis  in 
the  year  '82.  It 's  no  matter  if  there  is  not.  Perhaps  it 
may  be  more  agreeable  for  me,  for  I  can  tell  my  story  in 
my  own  way,  and  not  be  interrupted.  Well,  that  was 
called  '  the  old  record, '  for  they  tried  it  seventeen  times. 
I  believe,  on  my  conscience,  it  killed  old  Jones,  who  was 
in  the  Common  Pleas ;  he  used  to  say,  if  he  put  it  for  trial 
on  the  day  of  judgment,  one  of  the  parties  would  be  sure 
to  lodge  an  appeal.  Be  that  as  it  may,  the  Millses  engaged 
Peter  special,  and  brought  him  down  with  a  great  retainer, 
in  a  chaise-and-four,  flags  flying,  and  favors  in  the  postil- 
ion's hats,  and  a  fiddler  on  the  roof,  playing  the  '  Hare  in 
the  Corn.'  The  inn  was  illuminated  the  same  evening,  and 
Peter  made  a  speech  from  the  windows  upon  the  liberty  of 
the  Press  and  religious  freedom  all  over  the  globe,  and  there 
was  n't  a  man  in  the  mob  did  n't  cheer  him,  —  which  was 
the  more  civil  because  few  of  them  knew  a  word  of  English, 
and  the  others  thought  he  was  a  play-actor.  But  it  all 
went  off  well,  nevertheless,  for  Peter  was  a  clever  fellow; 


234  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

and  although  he  liked  money  well,  he  liked  popularity 
more,  aiid  he  never  went  anywhere  '  special '  that  he  hadn't 
a  public  meeting  of  some  kind  or  other,  either  to  abolish 
rents,  or  suppress  parsons,  or  some  such  popular  and  bene- 
ficial scheme,  which  always  made  him  a  great  favorite  with 
the  people  and  got  him  plenty  of  clients.  But  I  am  wan- 
dering from  the  record.  Purcell  came  down,  as  I  said 
before,  special  for  Mills;  and  when  he  looked  over  his 
brief,  and  thought  of  the  case,  he  determined  to  have  it 
tried  by  a  gentleman  jury,  for  although  he  was  a  great  man 
with  the  mob,  he  liked  the  country  gentlemen  better  in  the 
jury-box,  for  he  was  always  coming  out  with  quotations 
from  the  classics,  which,  whether  the  grand  jury  under- 
stood or  not,  they  always  applauded  very  much.  Well, 
when  he  came  into  court  that  morning  you  may  guess  his 
surprise  and  mortification  to  find  that  the  same  jury  that 
had  tried  a  common  ejectment  case  were  still  in  the  box, 
and  waiting,  by  the  chief-justice's  direction,  to  try  Mills 
versus  Mulcahy,  the  great  case  of  the  assizes. 

"  I  hear  they  were  a  set  of  common  clod-hopping  wretches, 
with  frieze  coats  and  brogues,  that  no  man  could  get  round 
at  all,  for  they  were  as  cunning  as  foxes,  and  could  tell 
blarney  from  good  sense  rather  better  than  people  with 
better  coats  on  them. 

"Now,  the  moment  that  Mr.  Purcell  came  into  the  court, 
after  bowing  politely  to  the  judge,  he  looked  up  to  the  box ; 
and  when  he  saw  the  dirty  faces  of  the  dealers  in  pork  and 
potatoes,  and  the  unshaven  chins  of  the  small  farmers,  his 
heart  fell  within  him,  and  he  knew  in  a  minute  how  little 
they'd  care  for  the  classics  if  he  quoted  Caisar's  Commen- 
taries itself  for  them,  ignorant  creatures  as  they  were. 

"Well,  the  cause  was  called,  and  up  gets  Peter,  and  he 
began  to  'express,'  as  he  always  called  it  himself,  'the 
great  distress  his  client  and  himself  would  labor  under  if 
the  patient  and  most  intelligent  jury  then  on  the  panel 
should  come  to  the  consideration  of  so  very  tedious  a  case 
as  this  promised  to  be,  after  their  already  most  fatiguing 
exertions;'  he  commented  upon  their  absence  from  their 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  235 

wives  and  families,  their  farms  neglected,  their  crops  haz- 
arded, and  in  about  fifteen  minutes  he  showed  them  they 
were,  if  not  speedily  released  and  sent  home,  worse  treated 
and  harder  used  than  many  of  the  prisoners  condemned  to 
three  months'  imprisonment;  and  actually  so  far  worked 
upon  the  feelings  of  the  chief  himself  that  he  turned  to  the 
foreman  of  the  jury  and  said  that  although  it  was  a  great 
deviation  from  his  habitual  practice,  if  at  this  pressing  sea- 
son their  prospects  were  involved  to  the  extent  the  learned 
counsel  had  pictured,  why  then  he  would  so  far  bend  his 
practice  on  this  occasion,  and  they  should  be  dismissed. 
Now,  Peter,  I  must  confess,  here  showed  the  most  culpable 
ignorance  in  not  knowing  that  a  set  of  country  fellows,  put 
up  in  a  jury  box,  would  rather  let  every  blade  of  corn  rot 
in  the  ground  than  give  up  what  they  always  supposed  so 
very  respectable  an  appointment ;  for  they  invariably  imag- 
ine in  these  cases  that  they  are  something  very  like  my 
lord  the  judge,  'barrin'  the  ermine;'  besides  that  on  the 
present  occasion  Peter's  argument  in  their  favor  decided 
them  upon  staying,  for  they  now  felt  like  martyrs,  and 
firmly  believed  that  they  were  putting  the  chief-justice 
under  an  obligation  to  them  for  life. 

"When,  therefore,  they  heard  the  question  of  the  court, 
it  did  not  take  a  moment's  time  for  the  whole  body  to  rise 
en  masse,  and  bowing  to  the  judge,  call  out,  '  We  '11  stay, 
my  lord,  and  try  every  mother's  son  of  them  for  you,  — ay, 
if  it  lasted  till  Christmas.' 

" '  I  am  sure,  my  lord, '  said  Peter,  collecting  himself  for 
an  effort,  '  I  cannot  sufficiently  express  my  gratitude  for  the 
great  sacrifice  these  gifted  and  highly  intelligent  gentle- 
men are  making  in  my  client's  behalf;  for  being  persons 
who  have  great  interests  in  the  country  at  stake,  their  con- 
duct on  the  present  occasion  is  the  more  praiseworthy;  and 
I  am  certain  they  fully  appreciate,  as  does  your  lordship, 
the  difficulty  of  the  case  before  us,  when  documents  will  be 
submitted  requiring  a  certain  degree  of  acquaintance  with 
such  testimonials  sufficiently  to  comprehend.  Many  of  the 
title-deeds,  as  your  lordship  is  aware,  being  obtained  under 


236  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

old  abbey  charters,  are  in  the  learned  languages;  and  we 
all  know  how  home  to  our  hearts  and  bosoms  comes  the 
beautiful  line  of  the  Greek  poet,  "Vacuus  viator  cantabit 
ante  latronem."'  The  sound  of  the  quotation  roused  the 
chief -justice,  who  had  been  in  some  measure  inattentive  to 
the  preceding  part  of  the  learned  counsel's  address,  and  he 
called  out  rather  sharply,  'Greek!  Mr.  Purcell, — why,  I 
must  have  mistaken.     Will  you  repeat  the  passage? ' 

" '  With  pleasure,  my  lord.  I  was  just  observing  to  your 
lordship  and  the  jury,  with  the  eloquent  poet  Hergesius, 
"Vacuus  viator  cantabit  ante  latronem."  ' 

"'Greek,  did  you  call  it? ' 

" '  Yes,  my  lord,  of  course  I  did. ' 

" '  Why,  Mr.  Purcell,  you  are  quoting  Latin  to  me.  And 
what  do  you  mean  by  talking  of  the  learned  Hergesius  and 
Greek  all  this  time?     The  line  is  Juvenal's.' 

" '  My  lord,  with  much  submission  to  your  lordship,  and 
every  deference  to  your  great  attainments  and  very  supe- 
rior talents,  let  me  still  assure  you  that  I  am  quoting 
Greek,  and  that  your  lordship  is  in  error. ' 

" '  Mr.  Purcell,  I  have  only  to  remark  that  if  you  are 
desirous  to  make  a  jest  of  the  court,  you  had  better  be  cau- 
tious, I  say,  sir ; '  and  here  the  judge  waxed  exceeding 
wroth.  'I  say  the  line  is  Latin, — Latin,  sir;  Juvenal's 
Latin,  sir,  —  every  schoolboy  knows  it. ' 

" '  Of  course,  my  lord, '  said  Peter,  with  great  humility, 
'  I  bow  myself  to  the  decision  of  your  lordship;  the  line  is, 
therefore,  Latin.  Yet  I  may  be  permitted  to  hint  that  were 
your  lordship  disposed  to  submit  this  question,  as  you  are 
shortly  about  to  do  another  and  a  similar  one,  to  those  clear- 
sighted and  intelligent  gentlemen  there,  I  am  satisfied, 
my  lord,  it  would  be  Greek  to  every  man  of  them.' 

"The  look,  the  voice,  and  the  peculiar  emphasis  with 
which  Peter  gave  these  words  were  perfectly  successful. 
The  acute  judge  anticipated  the  wish  of  the  counsel,  the 
jury  were  dismissed,  and  Peter  proceeded  to  his  case  before 
those  he  knew  better  how  to  deal  with,  and  with  whom  the 
result  was  more  certain  to  be  as  he  wished  it." 


DETACHMENT  DUTY.  237 

To  this  anecdote  of  the  counsellor  succeeded  many  others, 
of  which,  as  the  whiskey  was  potent  and  the  hour  late,  my 
memory  is  not  over  retentive;  the  party  did  not  break  up 
till  near  four  o'clock,  and  even  then  our  stance  only  con- 
cluded because  some  one  gravely  remarked  that  as  we 
should  be  all  actively  engaged  on  the  morrow,  early  hours 
were  advisable. 


CHAPTEE  XX. 


THE   ASSIZE   TOWN. 


I  had  not  been  above  a  week  in  my  new  quarters  when 
my  servant  presented  me,  among  my  letters  one  morning, 
with  a  packet  which,  with  considerable  pains,  I  at  length 
recognized  to  be  directed  to  me.  The  entire  envelope  was 
covered  with  writing  in  various  hands,  among  which  I 
detected  something  which  bore  a  faint  resemblance  to  my 
name;  but  the  address  which  followed  was  perfectly  un- 
readable, not  only  to  me,  as  it  appeared,  but  also  to  the 
"experts"  of  the  different  post-offices,  for  it  had  been  fol- 
lowed by  sundry  directions  to  try  various  places  beginning 
with  T,  which  seemed  to  be  the  letter  commencing  the 
"  great  unknown  locality, "  —  thus  I  read,  "  Try  Tralee, " 
"Try  Tyrone,"  "Try  Tanderagee,"  etc.  I  wonder  that 
they  didn't  add,  "Try  Teheran;"  and  I  suppose  they 
would  at  last,  rather  than  abandon  the  pursuit. 

"But,  Stubbes,"  said  I,  as  I  conned  over  the  vaxious 
addresses  on  this  incomprehensible  cover,  "are  you  sure 
this  is  for  me?" 

"The  postmaster,  sir,  desired  me  to  ask  if  you'd  have 
it,  for  he  has  offered  it  to  every  one  down  in  these  parts 
lately;  the  waterguard  officers  will  take  it  at  Sd.,  sir,  if 
you  won't,  but  I  begged  you  might  have  the  refusal." 

"Oh!  very  well ;  I  am  happy  to  find  matters  are  managed 
so  impartially  in  the  post-office  here.  Nothing  like  a  pub- 
lic, auction  for  making  matters  find  their  true  level.  Tell 
the  postmaster,  then,  I  '11  keep  the  letter,  and  the  rather, 
as  it  happens,  by  good  luck,  to  be  intended  for  me." 

"And  now  for  the  interior,"  said  I,  as  I  broke  the  seal 
and  read :  — 


THE  ASSIZE  TOWN.  239 

Paris,  Sue  Castiguone. 

My  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  —  As  her  ladyship  and  my  son  have 
in  vain  essayed  to  get  anything  from  you  in  the  shape  of  reply  to 
their  letters,  it  has  devolved  upon  me  to  try  my  fortune,  which, 
were  I  to  augur  from  the  legibility  of  my  writing,  may  not,  I  should 
fear,  prove  more  successful  than  the  [what  can  the  word  be  1 —  "the 
—  the"— why,  it  can't  be  "damnable,"  surely?  —  no,  it  is  "  amia- 
ble," I  see]  —  than  the  amiable  epistle  of  my  lady.  I  cannot,  how- 
ever, permit  myself  to  leave  this  without  apprising  you  that  we  are 
about  to  start  for  Baden,  where  we  purpose  remaining  a  month  or 
two.  Your  cousin  Guy,  who  has  been  staying  for  some  time  with 
us,  has  been  obliged  to  set  out  for  Geneva,  but  hopes  to  join  in  some 
weeks  hence.  He  is  a  great  favorite  with  us  all,  but  has  not  effaced 
the  memory  of  our  older  friend,  yourself.  Could  you  not  find  means 
to  come  over  and  see  us,  if  only  a  flying  visit  ?  Rotterdam  is  the 
route,  and  a  few  days  would  bring  you  to  our  quarters.  Hoping  that 
you  may  feel  so  disposed,  I  have  enclosed  herewith  a  letter  to  the 
Horse  Guards,  which  I  trust  may  facilitate  your  obtaining  leave  of 
absence.  I  know  of  no  other  mode  of  making  your  peace  with  the 
ladies,  who  are  too  highly  incensed  at  your  desertion  to  send  one 
civil  postscript  to  this  letter,  and  Kilkee  and  myself  are  absolutely 
exhausted  in  our  defence  of  you. 

Believe  me,  yours  truly, 

Callonby. 

Had  I  received  an  official  notification  of  my  being  ap- 
pointed paymaster  to  the  forces  or  chaplain  to  Chelsea 
Hospital,  I  believe  I  should  have  received  the  information 
with  less  surprise  than  I  perused  this  letter.  That  after 
the  long  interval  which  had  elapsed,  during  which  I  had 
considered  myself  totally  forgotten  by  this  family,  I  should 
now  receive  a  letter,  —  and  such  a  letter  too,  quite  in  the 
vein  of  our  former  intimacy  and  good  feeling,  inviting  me 
to  their  house,  and  again  professing  their  willingness  that 
I  should  be  on  the  terms  of  our  old  familiarity,  —  was  little 
short  of  wonderful  to  me.  I  read,  too,  — with  what  pleas- 
ure!—  that  slight  mention  of  my  cousin  whom  I  had  so 
long  regarded  as  my  successful  rival,  but  who  I  began  now 
to  hope  had  not  been  preferred  to  me.  Perhaps  it  was  not 
yet  too  late  to  think  that  all  was  not  hopeless.  It  appeared, 
too,  that  several  letters  had  been  written  which  had  never 


240  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

reached  me;  so,  while  I  accused  them  of  neglect  and  forget- 
fulness,  I  was  really  more  amenable  to  the  charge  myself; 
for  from  the  moment  I  had  heard  of  my  cousin  Guy's  hav- 
ing been  domesticated  amongst  them,  and  the  rumors  of  his 
marriage  had  reached  me,  I  suffered  my  absurd  jealousy  to 
blind  my  reason,  and  never  wrote  another  line  after.  I 
ought  to  have  known  how  bavard  Guy  always  was ;  that  he 
never  met  with  the  most  commonplace  attentions  anywhere 
that  he  did  not  immediately  write  home  about  settlements 
and  pin-money,  and  portions  for  younger  children,  and  all 
that  sort  of  nonsense.  Now  I  saw  it  all  plainly;  and  ten 
thousand  times  quicker  than  my  hopes  were  extinguished 
they  were  again  kindled,  and  I  could  not  refrain  from 
regarding  Lady  Jane  as  a  mirror  of  constancy,  and  myself 
the  most  fortunate  man  in  Europe.  My  old  castle-building 
propensities  came  back  upon  me  in  an  instant,  and  I  pic- 
tured myself  with  Lady  Jane  as  my  companion  wandering 
among  the  beautiful  scenery  of  the  Neckar  beneath  the 
lofty  ruins  of  Heidelberg,  or  skimming  the  placid  surface 
of  the  Rhine,  while  "mellowed  by  distance"  came  the  rich 
chorus  of  a  student's  melody  filling  the  air  with  its  flood  of 
song.  How  delightful  I  thought  to  be  reading  the  lyrics 
of  Uhland  or  Burger  with  one  so  capable  of  appreciating 
them,  with  all  the  hallowed  associations  of  the  "  Vaterland" 
about  us!  "Yes,"  said  I  aloud,  repeating  the  well-known 
line  of  a  German  Lied :  — 

"  Bekranzt  mit  Laub,  den  lieben  vollen  Becher." 

"Upon  my  conscience,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  who  had  for  some 
time  past  been  in  silent  admiration  of  my  stage-struck 
appearance,  —  "  upon  my  conscience,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  had 
no  conception  you  knew  Irish." 

The  mighty  talisman  of  the  counsellor's  voice  brought 
me  back  in  a  moment  to  a  consciousness  of  where  I  was 
then  standing,  and  the  still  more  unfortunate  fact  that  I 
was  only  a  subaltern  in  his  Majesty's  4 — th. 

"Why,  my  dear  counsellor,  that  was  German  I  was 
quoting,  not  Irish." 


THE   ASSIZE  TOWN.  241 

"With  all  my  heart,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  breaking  the  top  off 
his  third  egg,  —  "  with  all  my  heart;  I  'd  rather  you  'd  talk 
it  than  me.  Much  conversation  in  that  tongue,  I  'm  think- 
ing, would  be  mighty  apt  to  loosen  one's  teeth." 

"  Not  at  all ;  it  is  the  most  beautiful  language  in  Europe, 
and  the  most  musical  too.  Why,  even  for  your  own  pecu- 
liar taste  in  such  matters,  where  can  you  find  any  language 
so  rich  in  Bacchanalian  songs  as  German?  " 

"  I  'd  rather  hear  the  '  Cruiskeen  Lawn, '  or  the  '  Jug  of 
Punch, '  as  my  old  friend  Pat  Samson  could  sing  them,  than 
a  score  of  your  High-Dutch  jawbreakers." 

"Shame  upon  ye,  Mr.  Daly!  And  for  pathos,  for  true 
feeling,  where  is  there  anything  equal  to  Schiller's 
ballads?" 

"  I  don't  think  I  've  ever  heard  any  of  his ;  but  if  you 
will  talk  of  ballads,"  said  the  counsellor,  "give  me  old 
Mosey  M'Garry's.  What 's  finer  than  "  —  and  here  he 
began,  with  a  most  nasal  twang  and  dolorous  emphasis, 
to  sing,  — 

"  '  And  I  stepped  up  unto  her, 
An'  I  made  a  congee, 
And  I  axed  her  her  pardon 
For  the  making  so  free.' 

"And  then  the  next  verse  she  says,  — 

"  '  Are  you  goin'  to  undo  me, 
In  this  desert  alone  ? '  — 

There  's  a  shake  there." 

"For  Heaven's  sake,"  I  cried,  "stop!  When  I  spoke  of 
ballads,  I  never  meant  such  infernal  stuff  as  that." 

"I'll  not  give  up  my  knowledge  of  ballads  to  any  man 
breathing,"  said  Mr.  Daly;  "and  with  God's  blessing,  I'll 
sing  you  one  this  evening,  after  dinner,  that  will  give  you 
a  cramp  in  the  stomach." 

An  animated  discussion  upon  lyrical  poetry  was  here 
interrupted  by  a  summons  from  our  host  to  set  out  for  the 
town.  My  party  were,  by  the  desire  of  the  magistracy,  to 
be  in  readiness  near  the  court-house  in  the  event  of  any 

YOL.  I.  — 16 


242  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

serious  disturbance,  which  there  existed  but  too  much  rea- 
son to  apprehend,  from  the  highly  excited  state  of  feeling 
on  the  subject  of  the  approaching  trials.  The  soliers  were, 
under  the  guidance  of  Mr.  Larkins,  safely  ensconced  in  a 
tan-yard;  and  I  myself  having  consigned  them  for  the  pres- 
ent to  a  non-commissioned  officer,  was  left  at  perfect  liberty 
to  dispose  of  my  time  and  person  as  it  might  please  me. 

While  these  arrangements  were  taking  place,  I  had 
entirely  lost  sight  of  Mr.  Daly,  under  whose  guidance 
and  protection  I  trusted  to  obtain  a  place  within  the  bar 
to  hear  the  trials ;  so  that  I  was  now  perfectly  alone,  for 
my  host's  numerous  avocations  entirely  precluded  any 
thought  of  my  putting  myself  under  his  care. 

My  first  object  was  to  reach  the  court-house,  and  there 
could  be  little  difficulty  in  finding  it,  for  the  throng  of 
persons  in  the  street  were  all  eagerly  bending  their  way 
thither.  I  accordingly  followed  with  the  stream,  and  soon 
found  myself  among  an  enormous  multitude  of  frieze-coated 
and  red-cloaked  people  of  both  sexes  in  a  large  open  square 
Avhich  formed  the  market-place,  one  side  of  which  was 
flanked  by  the  court-house,  —  for  as  such  I  immediately 
recognized  a  massive-looking  gray  stone  building,  —  in 
which  the  numerous  windows,  all  open  and  filled  with 
people,  exhaled  a  continued  steam  from  the  crowded  atmos- 
phere within.  To  approach  it  was  perfectly  impossible; 
for  the  square  was  packed  so  closely  that  as  the  people 
approached  by  the  various  streets  they  were  obliged  to 
stand  in  the  avenues  leading  to  it,  and  regard  what  was 
going  on  from  a  distance.  Of  this  large  multitude  I  soon 
became  one,  hoping  that  at  length  some  fortunate  opportu- 
nity might  enable  me  to  obtain  admission  through  some  of 
my  legal  acquaintances. 

That  the  fate  of  those  who  were  then  upon  their  trial 
for  their  lives  absorbed  the  entire  feelings  of  those  with- 
out, a  momentary  glance  at  the  hundreds  of  anxious  and 
careworn  faces  in  the  crowd  would  completely  satisfy. 
Motionless  and  silent  they  stood;  they  felt  no  fatigue,  no 
want  of  food  or  refreshment;  their  interest  was  one  and 


THE   ASSIZE  TOWN.  243 

undivided,  —  all  their  hopes  and  fears  were  centred  in  the 
events  then  passing  at  a  short  distance  from  them,  but  to 
which  their  ignorance  imparted  an  additional  and  more 
painful  excitement;  the  only  information  of  how  matters 
were  going  on  being  by  an  occasional  word,  sometimes  a 
mere  gesture,  from  some  one  stationed  in  the  windows  to 
a  friend  in  the  crowd. 

When  the  contemplation  of  this  singularly  impressive 
scene  was  beginning  to  weary  from  the  irksomeness  of  my 
position,  I  thought  of  retiring,  but  soon  discovered  how  im- 
possible was  such  a  step.  The  crowd  had  blocked  up  so 
completely  all  the  avenues  of  approach  that  even  had  I 
succeeded  in  getting  from  the  market-place,  it  would  be 
only  to  remain  firmly  impacted  among  the  mob  in  the 
street. 

It  now  also  occurred  to  me  that  although  I  had  been 
assured  by  Larkins  no  call  could  possibly  be  made  upon 
my  services  or  those  of  my  party  till  after  the  trial,  yet 
were  that  to  conclude  at  any  moment,  I  should  be  perfectly 
unable  to  gain  the  place  where  I  had  stationed  them,  and 
the  most  serious  consequences  might  ensue  from  the  absence 
of  their  officer  if  the  men  were  required  to  act. 

From  the  time  this  thought  took  possession  of  me,  I 
became  excessively  uncomfortable.  Every  expression  of 
the  people  that  denoted  the  progress  of  the  trial  only 
alarmed  me  for  the  conclusion,  which  I  supposed  might 
not  be  distant,  and  I  began,  with  all  my  ingenuity,  to 
attempt  my  retreat,  which,  after  half  an  hour's  severe 
struggle,  I  completely  abandoned,  finding  myself  scarcely 
ten  yards  from  where  I  started. 

At  length  the  counsel  for  the  Crown,  who  had  been 
speaking  to  evidence,  ceased;  and  an  indistinct  murmur 
was  heard  through  the  court-house,  which  was  soon 
repressed  by  the  voice  of  the  crier  calling  "Silence!" 
All  now  seemed  still  and  silent  as  the  grave;  yet,  on 
listening  attentively  for  some  time,  you  could  catch  the 
low  tones  of  a  voice  speaking,  as  it  appeared,  with  great 
deliberation  and  slowness.     This  was  the  judge  addressing 


244  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  jury.  In  a  short  time  this  also  ceased;  and  for  abou' 
half  an  hour  the  silence  was  perfectly  unbroken,  and  botl 
within  and  without  there  reigned  one  intense  and  aching 
sense  of  anxiety  that  absorbed  every  feeling,  and  imparted 
to  every  face  an  expression  of  almost  agonizing  uncertainty 
It  was,  indeed,  a  moment  well  calculated  to  excite  such  emo 
tions.  The  jury  had  retired  to  deliberate  upon  their  verdict. 
At  length  a  door  was  heard  to  open,  and  the  footsteps  of  the 
jury,  as  they  resumed  their  places,  sounded  through  the 
court,  and  were  heard  by  those  without.  How  heavily 
upon  many  a  stout  heart  those  footsteps  fell!  They  had 
taken  their  seats;  then  came  another  pause,  after  which 
the  monotonous  tones  of  the  clerk  of  the  court  were  heard, 
addressing  the  jury  for  their  verdict.  As  the  foreman 
rises,  every  ear  is  bent,  every  eye  strained,  every  heart- 
string  vibrates.  His  lips  move,  but  he  is  not  heard;  he  is 
desired  by  the  judge  to  speak  louder;  there  is  another 
pause ;  he  appears  to  labor  for  a  few  seconds  with  a  mighty 
effort,  and  at  last  pronounces  the  words,  "Guilty,  my  lord; 
all  guilty!" 

I  have  heard  the  wild  war-whoop  of  the  Red  Indian  as 
in  his  own  pine-forest  he  has  unexpectedly  come  upon  the 
track  of  his  foe,  and  the  almost  extinguished  hope  of  ven- 
geance has  been  kindled  again  in  his  cruel  heart;  I  have 
listened  to  the  scarcely  less  savage  hurrah  of  a  storming 
party  as  they  have  surmounted  the  crumbling  ruins  of  a 
breach  and  devoted  to  fire  and  sword,  with  that  one  yell, 
all  who  await  them ;  and  once  in  my  life  it  has  been  my 
fortune  to  hear  the  last  yell  of  defiance  from  a  pirate  crew 
as  they  sank  beneath  the  raking  fire  of  a  frigate  rather 
than  surrender,  and  went  down  with  a  cheer  of  defiance  that 
rose  even  above  the  red  artillery  that  destroyed  but  could 
not  subdue  them,  —  but  never,  in  any  or  all  of  these  awful 
moments,  did  my  heart  vibrate  to  such  sounds  as  rent  the 
air  when  the  fatal  "  Guilty "  was  heard  by  those  within, 
and  repeated  to  those  without.  It  was  not  grief,  it  was  not 
despair,  neither  was  it  the  cry  of  sharp  and  irrepressible 
anguish  from  a  suddenly  blighted  hope ;  but  it  was  the  long 


THE  ASSIZE  TOWN.  245 

pent-up  and  carefully  concealed  burst  of  feeling  which 
called  aloud  for  vengeance,  —  red  and  reeking  revenge 
upon  all  who  had  been  instrumental  in  the  sentence  then 
delivered.  It  ceased,  and  I  looked  towards  the  court- 
house, expecting  that  an  immediate  and  desperate  attack 
upon  the  building  and  those  whom  it  contained  would  at 
once  take  place.  But  nothing  of  the  kind  ensued;  the  mob 
were  already  beginning  to  disperse,  and  before  I  recovered 
perfectly  from  the  excitement  of  these  few  and  terrible 
moments,  the  square  was  nearly  empty,  and  I  almost  felt 
as  if  the  wild  and  frantic  denunciation  that  still  rang 
through  my  ears  had  been  conjured  up  by  a  heated  and 
fevered  imagination. 

When  I  again  met  our  party  at  the  dinner-table,  I  could 
not  help  feeling  surprised  on  perceiving  how  little  they 
sympathized  in  my  feeling  for  the  events  of  the  day,  which 
indeed  they  only  alluded  to  in  a  professional  point  of  view, 
—  criticising  the  speeches  of  the  counsel  on  both  sides,  and 
the  character  of  the  different  witnesses  who  were  examined. 

"Well,"  said  Mr.  Daly,  addressing  our  host,  "you  never 
could  have  had  a  conviction  to-day  if  it  was  n't  for  Mike. 
He  's  the  best  evidence  I  ever  heard.  I  'd  like  to  know 
very  much  how  you  ever  got  so  clever  a  fellow  completely 
in  your  clutches." 

"By  a  mere  accident,  and  very  simply,"  replied  the 
justice.  "It  was  upon  one  of  our  most  crowded  fair-days, 
half  the  county  was  in  town,  when  the  information  arrived 
that  the  Walshes  were  murdered  the  night  before  at  the 
cross-roads  above  Telenamuck  Mills.  The  news  reached 
me  as  I  was  signing  some  tithe-warrants,  one  of  which  was 
against  Mickey.  I  sent  for  him  into  the  office,  knowing 
that  as  he  was  in  the  secret  of  all  the  evil  doings,  I  might 
as  well  pretend  to  do  him  a  service  and  offer  to  stop  the 
warrant  out  of  kindness,  as  it  were.  Well,  one  way  or 
another,  he  was  kept  waiting  several  hours  while  I  was 
engaged  in  writing,  and  all  the  country  people,  as  they 
passed  the  window,  could  look  in  and  see  Mickey  Sheehan 
standing  before  me  while  I  was  employed  busily  writing 


246  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

letters.  It  was  just  at  this  time  that  a  mounted  policeman 
rode  in  with  the  account  of  the  murder,  upon  which  I  imme- 
diately issued  a  warrant  to  arrest  the  two  MacNeills  and 
OAven  Shirley  upon  suspicion.  I  thought  I  saw  Mike  turn 
pale  as  I  said  the  names  over  to  the  sergeant  of  police,  and 
I  at  once  determined  to  turn  it  to  account;  so  I  immediately 
began  talking  to  Mickey  about  his  own  affairs,  breaking  off, 
every  now  and  then,  to  give  some  directions  about  the  men 
to  be  captured.  The  crowd  outside  was  increasing  every 
instant,  and  you  need  not  have  looked  at  their  faces  twice 
to  perceive  that  they  had  regarded  Mickey  as  an  approver; 
and  the  same  night  that  saw  the  MacNeills  in  custody, 
witnessed  the  burning  of  Sheehan's  house  and  haggart,  and 
he  only  escaped  by  a  miracle  over  to  Curryglass,  where, 
once  under  my  protection,  with  the  imputation  upon  his 
character  of  having  turned  king's  evidence,  I  had  little 
trouble  in  persuading  him  that  he  might  as  well  benefit  by 
the  report  as  enjoy  the  name  without  the  gain.  He  soon 
complied,  and  the  convictions  of  this  day  are  partly  the 
result." 

"When  the  applause  which  greeted  this  clever  stroke  of 
our  host  had  subsided,  I  inquired  what  results  might,  in 
all  likelihood,  follow  the  proceedings  of  which  I  had  that 
day  been  a  witness. 

"Nothing  will  be  done  immediately,"  replied  the  justice, 
"  because  we  have  a  large  force  of  police  and  military  about 
us;  but  let  either,  or  unhappily  both,  be  withdrawn,  and 
the  cry  you  heard  given  in  the  market-place  to-day  will  be 
the  death-wail  for  more  than  one  of  those  who  are  well  and 
hearty  at  this  moment." 

The  train  of  thought  inevitably  forced  upon  me  by  all  I 
had  been  a  spectator  of  during  the  day  but  little  disposed 
me  to  be  a  partaker  in  the  mirth  and  conviviality  which, 
as  usual,  formed  the  staple  of  the  assize  dinners  of  Mr. 
Larkins;  and  I  accordingly  took  an  early  opportunity  to 
quit  the  company  and  retire  for  the  night. 


CHAPTEE    XXI. 

A   DAY   IN   DUBLIN. 

On  the  third  day  of  my  residence  at  Curryglass  arrived 
my  friend  Mortimer  to  replace  me,  bringing  my  leave  from 
the  colonel  and  a  most  handsome  letter,  in  which  he  again 
glanced  at  the  prospect  before  me  in  the  Callonby  family,  and 
hinted  at  my  destination,  which  I  had  not  allnded  to,  adding 
that  if  I  made  the  pretence  of  study  in  Germany  the  reason 
for  my  application  at  the  Horse  Guards,  I  should  be  almost 
certain  to  obtain  a  six  months'  leave.  With  what  spirits 
I  ordered  Stubbes  to  pack  up  my  portmanteau  and  secure 
our  places  in  the  Dublin  mail  for  that  night,  while  I  n^self 
hurried  to  take  leave  of  my  kind  entertainer  and  his  guests, 
as  well  as  to  recommend  to  their  favor  and  attention  my 
excellent  friend  Mortimer !  He,  being  a  jovial  fellow,  not 
at  all  in  love,  was  a  happy  exchange  for  me,  since  despite 
Daly's  capital  stories,  I  had  spent  the  last  two  days  in 
watching  the  high  road  for  my  successor's  arrival. 

Once  more,  then,  I  bade  adieu  to  Curryglass  and  its 
hospitable  owner,  whose  labors  for  "  justice  to  Ireland  "  I 
shall  long  remember,  and  depositing  myself  in  the  bowels 
of  his  Majesty's  mail,  gave  way  to  the  full  current  of  my 
hopes  and  imaginings,  which  at  last  ended  in  a  sound  and 
refreshing  sleep,  from  which  I  only  awoke  as  we  drew  up 
at  the  door  of  the  Hibernian,  in  Dawson  Street. 

Even  at  that  early  hour  there  was  considerable  bustle  and 
activity  of  preparation,  which  I  was  at  some  loss  to  account 
for  till  informed  by  the  waiter  that  there  were  upwards  of 
three  hundred  strangers  in  the  house,  it  being  the  day 
of  his  Majesty's  expected  arrival  on  his  visit  to  Ireland, 
and  a  very  considerable  section  of  the  county  of  Galway 


248  HAKTtY  LOKREQTJER. 

being   at   that   moment,   with   their   wives    and   families, 
installed  for  the  occasion  in  this  their  favorite  hotel. 

Although  I  had  been  reading  of  this  approaching  event 
every  day  for  the  last  three  months,  I  could  not  help  feel- 
ing surprised  at  the  intense  appearance  of  excitement  it 
occasioned,  and  in  the  few  minutes'  conversation  I  held 
with  the  waiter,  learned  the  total  impossibility  of  procur- 
ing a  lodging  anywhere,  and  that  I  could  not  have  a  bed, 
even  were  I  to  offer  five  guineas  for  it.  Having,  therefore, 
no  inclination  for  sleep,  even  upon  easier  terms,  I  ordered 
my  breakfast  to  be  ready  at  ten,  and  set  out  upon  a  stroll 
through  the  town.  I  could  not  help,  in  my  short  ramble 
through  the  streets,  perceiving  how  admirably  adapted 
were  the  worthy  Dublinites  for  all  the  honors  that  awaited 
them.  Garlands  of  flowers,  transparencies,  flags,  and  the 
other  insignia  of  rejoicing  were  everywhere  in  preparation, 
and  at  the  end  of  Sackville  Street  a  considerable  erection, 
very  much  resembling  an  impromptu  gallows,  was  being 
built,  for  the  purpose,  as  I  afterwards  learned,  of  giving 
the  worshipful  the  lord  mayor  the  opportunity  of  opening 
the  city  gates  to  royalty,  —  creating  the  obstacle  where  none 
existed  being  a  very  ingenious  conceit,  and  considerably 
Irish  into  the  bargain.  I  could  not  help  feeling  some 
desire  to  witness  how  all  should  go  off,  to  use  the  theatrical 
phrase ;  but  in  my  anxiety  to  get  on  to  the  Continent,  I  at 
once  abandoned  every  thought  of  delay.  When  I  returned 
to  the  coffee-room  of  my  hotel,  I  found  it  crowded  to  ex- 
cess; every  little  table,  originally  destined  for  the  accom- 
modation of  one,  having  at  least  two,  and  sometimes  three 
occupants.  In  my  hurried  glance  round  the  room  to  decide- 
where  I  should  place  myself,  I  was  considerably  struck 
with  the  appearance  of  a  stout  elderly  gentleman  with  red 
whiskers  and  a  high,  bald  forehead;  he  had,  although  the 
day  was  an  oppressively  hot  one,  three  waistcoats  on,  and 
by  the  brown  York  tan  of  Iris  long-topped  boots  evinced  a 
very  considerable  contempt  either  for  weather  or  fashion; 
in  the  quick  glance  of  his  sharp  gray  eye  I  read  that  he 
listened  half  doubtingly  to  the  narrative  of  his  companion, 


A  DAY   IN  DUBLIN.  249 

whose  back  was  turned  towards  me,  but  who  appeared, 
from  the  occasional  words  which  reached  me,  to  be  giving 
a  rather  marvellous  and  melodramatic  version  of  the 
expected  pleasures  of  the  capital.  There  was  something 
in  the  tone  of  the  speaker's  voice  that  I  thought  I  recog- 
nized; I  accordingly  drew  near,  and  what  was  my  surprise 
to  discover  my  friend  Tom  O' Flaherty.  After  our  first  sal- 
utation was  over,  Tom  presented  me  to  his  friend  Mr. 
Burke,  of  somewhere,  who,  he  continued  to  inform  me,  in 
a  stage  whisper,  was  a  "regular  quiz,"  and  never  in  Dublin 
in  his  life  before. 

"And  so  you  say,  sir,  that  his  Majesty  cannot  enter 
without  the  permission  of  the  lord  mayor?  " 

"And  the  aldermen  too,"  replied  Tom.  "It  is  an  old 
feudal  ceremony.  When  his  Majesty  comes  up  to  the  gate, 
he  demands  admission,  and  the  lord  mayor  refuses,  because 
he  would  be  thus  surrendering  his  great  prerogative  of  head 
of  the  city;  then  the  aldermen  get  about  him  and  cajole 
him,  and  by  degrees  he  's  won  over  by  the  promise  of  being 
knighted,  and  the  king  gains  the  day  and  enters." 

"  Upon  my  conscience,  a  mighty  ridiculous  ceremony  it 
is,  after  all,"  said  Mr.  Burke,  "and  very  like  a  bargain  for 
sheep  in  Ballinasloe  fair,  when  the  buyer  and  seller  appear 
to  be  going  to  fight,  till  a  mutual  friend  settles  the  bargain 
between  them." 

At  this  moment  Mr.  Burke  suddenly  sprang  from  his 
chair,  which  was  nearest  the  window,  to  look  out ;  I  accord- 
ingly followed  his  example,  and  beheld  a  rather  ludicrous 
procession,  if  such  it  could  be  called,  consisting  of  so  few 
persons.  The  principal  individual  in  the  group  was  a 
florid,  fat,  happy-looking  gentleman  of  about  fifty,  with  a 
profusion  of  nearly  white  whiskers  which  met  at  his  chin, 
mounted  upon  a  sleek  charger,  whose  half-ambling,  half- 
prancing  pace  had  evidently  been  acquired  by  long  habit  of 
going  in  procession;  this  august  figure  was  habited  in  a 
scarlet  coat  and  cocked-hat  having  "  tags  "  and  all  the  other 
appanage  of  a  general  officer;  he  also  wore  tight  buckskin 
breeches   and  high   jack-boots,    like   those   of  the   Horse 


250  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

Guards.  As  he  looked  from  side  to  side,  with  a  self-satis- 
fied, contented  air,  he  appeared  quite  insensible  of  the 
cortege  which  followed  and  preceded  him,  —  the  latter  con- 
sisting of  some  score  of  half-ragged  boys,  yelling  and  shout- 
ing with  all  their  might,  and  the  former  being  a  kind  of 
instalment  in  hand  of  the  Dublin  Militia  Band,  and  who, 
in  numbers  and  equipment,  closely  resembled  the  "army" 
which  accompanies  the  first  appearance  of  Bombastes,  the 
only  difference,  that  these  I  speak  of  did  not  play  the 
"Rogue's  March,"  which  might  have  perhaps  appeared 
personal. 

As  this  goodly  procession  advanced,  Mr.  Burke's  eyes 
became  riveted  upon  it;  it  was  the  first  wonder  he  had  yet 
beheld,  and  he  devoured  it. 

"May  I  ask,  sir,"  said  he,  at  length,  "who  that  is?" 

"Who  that  is?"  said  Tom,  surveying  him  leisurely  as  he 
spoke,  "  why  surely,  sir,  you  must  be  jesting,  or  you  would 
not  ask  such  a  question !  I  trust,  indeed,  every  one  knows 
who  he  is,  — eh,  Harry?"  said  he,  looking  at  me  for  a  con- 
firmation of  what  he  said,  and  to  which,  of  course,  I 
assented  by  a  look. 

"Well,  but,  my  dear  Mr.  O'Flaherty,  you  forget  how 
ignorant  I  am  of  everything  here  — " 

"  Ah,  true !  "  said  Tom,  interrupting ;  "  I  forget  you  never 
saw  him  before." 

"And  who  is  he,  sir?" 

"Why,  that 's  the  Duke  of  Wellington,  sir!  " 

"Lord  have  mercy  upon  me!  is  it?"  said  Mr.  Burke,  as 
he  upset  the  table  and  all  its  breakfast  equipage,  and  rushed 
through  the  coffee-room  like  one  possessed.  Before  I  could 
half  recover  from  the  fit  of  laughing  this  event  threw  me 
into,  I  heard  him,  as  he  ran  full  speed  down  Dawson  Street, 
waving  his  hat,  and  shouting  at  the  top  of  his  lungs,  "God 
bless  your  Grace !  Long  life  to  your  Grace !  Hurrah  for 
the  hero  of  Waterloo!  the  great  captain  of  the  age!  "  etc., 
which  I  grieve  to  say,  for  the  ingratitude  of  the  individual 
lauded,  seemed  not  to  afford  him  half  the  pleasure  and  none 
of  the  amusement  it  did  the  mob,  who  re-echoed  the  should 


A  DAY  IN  DUBLIN.  251 

and  cheering  till  lie  was  hid  within  the  precincts  of  the 
Mansion  House. 

"And  now,"  said  Tom  to  me,  "finish  your  breakfast  as 
fast  as  possible;  for  when  Burke  comes  back,  he  will  be 
boring  me  to  dine  with  him,  or  some  such  thing,  as  a  kind 
of  acknowledgment  of  his  gratitude  for  showing  him  the 
duke.  Do  you  know,  he  has  seen  more  wonders  through 
my  poor  instrumentality  within  the  last  three  days  in 
Dublin  than  a  six  months'  trip  to  the  Continent  would 
show  most  men.  I  have  made  him  believe  that  Burke 
Bethel  is  Lord  Brougham,  and  I  am  about  to  bring  him  to 
a  soiree  at  Miladi's,  whom  he  supposes  to  be  the  Marchio- 
ness of  Conyngham.  A  propos  to  the  dear  '  Blew,'  let  me 
tell  you  of  a  '  good  hit '  I  was  witness  to  a  few  nights  since. 
You  know,  perhaps,  old  Sir  Charles  Giesecke,  eh?  " 

"I  have  seen  him  once,  I  think, — the  professor  of 
mineralogy." 

"Well,  poor  old  Sir  Charles,  one  of  the  most  modest  and 
retiring  men  in  existence,  was  standing  the  other  night 
among  the  mob,  in  one  of  the  drawing-rooms,  while  a 
waltzing-party  were  figuring  away,  at  which,  with  that 
fondness  for  la  danse  that  characterizes  every  German  of 
any  age,  he  was  looking  with  much  interest,  when  my  lady 
came  tripping  up,  and  the  following  short  dialogue  ensued 
within  my  ear-shot :  — 

UiAh!  mon  cher  Sir  Charles,  ravie  de  vous  voir.  But 
why  are  you  not  dancing?  ' 

"lAh!  Miladi,  je  ne  puis  pas,  — c' 'est- a- dire,  ich  kann  es 
nicht ;  I  am  too  old ;  ich  bin  —  ' 

'"Oh,  you  horrid  man!  I  understand  you  perfectly. 
You  hate  ladies ;  that  is  the  real  reason.  You  do, — you 
know  you  do.' 

"lAh,  Miladi,  gnadige  Fran,  glauben  Sie  mich;  I  do 
loave  de  ladies;  I  do  adore  de  sex.  Do  you  know,  Miladi, 
when  I  was  in  Greenland  I  did  keep  four  womans.' 

"'Oh,  shocking,  horrid,  vile  Sir  Charles!  How  could 
you  tell  me  such  a  story?     I  shall  die  of  it! ' 

"lAh,    mein    Gott,    Miladi,    Sie  irren  sich;    vous   vous 


252  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

trompez.      You  are  quite  in  mistake ;  it  was  ouly  to   row 
my  boat !  ' 

"I  leave  you  to  guess  how  my  lady's  taste  for  the  broad- 
side of  the  story,  and  poor  Sir  Charles's  vindication  of 
himself,  in  regard  to  his  estimation  of  le  beau  sexe,  amused 
all  who  heard  it;  as  for  me,  I  had  to  leave  the  room,  half- 
choked  with  suppressed  laughter.  And  now  let  us  bolt,  for 
I  see  Burke  coming;  and,  upon  my  soul,  I  am  tired  of  tell- 
ing him  lies,  and  must  rest  on  my  oars  for  a  few  hours  at 
least." 

"But  where  is  the  necessity  for  so  doing?"  said  I. 
"  Surely  where  there  is  so  much  of  novelty  as  a  large  city 
presents  to  a  visitor  for  the  first  time  there  is  little  occa- 
sion to  draw  upon  imagination  for  your  facts." 

"Ah,  my  dear  Harry,  how  little  do  you  know  of  life! 
There  is  a  kind  of  man  whose  appetite  for  the  marvellous 
is  such  that  he  must  be  crammed  with  miracles,  or  he  dies 
of  inanition;  and  you  might  as  well  attempt  to  feed  a  tiger 
upon  pate  defoie  gras  as  satisfy  him  by  mere  naked,  unvar- 
nished truth.  I  '11  just  give  you  an  easy  illustration :  you 
saw  his  delight  this  morning  when  the  '  duke  '  rode  past; 
well,  I  '11  tell  you  the  converse  of  that  proposition  now. 
The  night  before  last,  having  nothing  better  to  do,  we  went 
to  the  theatre ;  the  piece  was  '  La  Perouse, '  which  they 
have  been  playing  here  for  the  last  two  months  to  crowded 
houses,  to  exhibit  some  North  American  Indians  Avhom 
some  theatrical  speculator  brought  over  '  special, '  in  all 
the  horrors  of  fur,  wampum,  and  yellow  ochre.  Finding 
the  '  spectacle  '  rather  uninteresting,  I  leaned  back  in  my 
box  and  fell  into  a  doze.  Meanwhile,  my  inquiring  friend 
Mr.  Burke,  who  felt  naturally  anxious,  as  he  always  does, 
to  get  au  fond  of  matters,  left  his  place  to  obtain  informa- 
tion about  the  piece,  the  audience,  and,  above  all,  the 
authenticity  of  the  Indians,  who  certainly  astonished  him 
considerably. 

"  Now  it  so  happened  that  about  a  fortnight  previously 
some  violent  passion  to  return  home  to  their  own  country 
had  seized  these  interesting  individuals,  and  they  felt  the 


A  DAY   IN  DUBLIN.  253 

most  irresistible  longing  to  abandon  the  savage  and  unnat- 
ural condiments  of  roast  beef  and  Guinness's  porter  and 
resume  their  ancient  and  more  civilized  habits  of  life.     In 
fact,  like  the  old  African  lady  mentioned  by  the  missionary 
at  the  Cape,  they  felt  they  could  die  happy  if  they  '  could 
only  once  more  have  a  roast  child  for  supper ; '  and  as  such 
luxuries  are  dear  in  this  country,  stay  another  week  they 
would   not,  whatever  the   consequences   might  be.      The 
manager  reasoned,  begged,   implored,    and  threatened  by 
turns,  all  would  not  do,  go  they  were  determined;  and  all 
that  the  unfortunate  proprietor  could  accomplish  was  to 
make  a  purchase  of  their  properties  in  fur,  belts,  bows, 
arrows,  and  feathers,  and  get  them  away  quietly  without 
the  public  being  the  wiser.     The  piece  was  too  profitable  a 
one  to  abandon,  so  he  looked  about  anxiously  to  supply  the 
deficiency  in  his  corps  dramatique.     For  several  days  no- 
thing presented  itself  to  his  thoughts,  and  the  public  were 
becoming  more  clamorous  for  the  repetition  of  a  drama 
which  had  greatly  delighted  them.     What  was  to  be  done? 
In  a  mood  of  doubt  and  uncertainty  the  wretched  manager 
was  taking  his  accustomed  walk  upon  the  lighthouse  pier 
while  a  number  of  unfortunate  country  fellows,  bare-legged 
and  lanky,  with  hay  ropes  fastening  their  old  gray  coats 
around  them,  were  standing  beside  a  packet,  about  to  take 
their  departure  for  England  for  the  harvest.    Their  uncouth 
appearance,  their  wild  looks,  their  violent  gestures,  and, 
above  all,  their  strange  and  guttural  language,  —  for  they 
were  all  speaking  Irish,  —  attracted  the  attention  of  the 
manager;  the  effect,    to  his  professional  eye,    was   good. 
The  thought  struck  him  at  once :  here  were  the  very  fel- 
lows he  wanted.     It  was  scarcely  necessary  to  alter  any- 
thing about  them ;  they  were  ready  made  to  his  hand,  and 
in  many  respects   better   savages   than  their  prototypes. 
Through  the  mediation  of  some  whiskey,  the  appropriate 
liquor  in  all  treaties  of  this  nature,  a  bargain  was  readily 
struck,  and  in  two  hours  more  these  ( forty  thieves '  were 
rehearsing  upon  the  classic  boards  of  our  theatre,  and  once 
more  '  La  Perouse,'  in  all  the  glory  of  red  capital  letters, 


254  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

shone  forth  in  the  morning  advertisements.  The  run  of 
the  piece  continued  unabated;  the  Indians  were  the  rage; 
nothing  else  was  thought  or  spoken  of  in  Dublin,  and 
already  the  benefit  of  Ashewaballagh  Ho  was  announced, 
—  who,  by  the  by,  was  a  little  fellow  from  Martin's  estate 
in  Connemara,  and  one  of  the  drollest  dogs  I  ever  heard  of. 
AYell,  it  so  happened  that  it  was  upon  one  of  their  nights 
of  performing  that  I  found  myself,  with  Mr.  Burke,  a  spec- 
tator of  their  proceedings ;  I  had  fallen  into  an  easy  slum- 
ber, when  a  dreadful  row  in  the  box  lobby  roused  me  from 
my  dream,  and  the  loud  cry  of  '  Turn  him  out ! '  '  Pitch 
him  over ! '  '  Beat  his  brains  out ! '  and  other  humane  pro- 
posals of  the  like  nature,  effectually  restored  me  to  con- 
sciousness. I  rushed  out  of  the  box  into  the  lobby,  and 
there,  to  my  astonishment,  in  the  midst  of  a  considerable 
crowd,  beheld  my  friend  Mr.  Burke  belaboring  the  box- 
keeper  with  all  his  might  with  a  cotton  umbrella  of  rather 
unpleasant  proportions,  accompanying  each  blow  with  an 
exclamation  of  '  Well,  are  they  Connaught-men  now,  you 
rascal,  eh?  Are  they  all  west  of  Athlone,  tell  me  that, 
now?  I  wonder  what's  preventing  me  beating  the  soul 
out  of  ye.'  After  obtaining  a  short  cessation  of  hostilities, 
and  restoring  poor  Sharkey  to  his  legs,  much  more  dead 
than  alive  from  pure  fright,  I  learned  at  last  the  teterrima 
causa  belli.  Mr.  Burke,  it  seems,  had  entered  into  conver- 
sation with  Sharkey,  the  box-keeper,  as  to  all  the  particu- 
lars of  the  theatre  and  the  present  piece,  but  especially  as 
to  the  real  and  authentic  history  of  the  Indians,  whose  lan- 
guage he  remarked  in  many  respects  to  resemble  Irish. 
Poor  Sharkey,  whose  benefit  night  was  approaching, 
thought  he  might  secure  a  friend  for  life  by  imparting 
to  him  an  important  state  secret;  and  when,  therefore, 
pressed  rather  closely  as  to  the  '  savages'  whereabout,' 
resolved  to  try  a  bold  stroke  and  trust  his  unknown  inter- 
rogator. '  And  so  you  don't  really  know  where  they  come 
from,  nor  can't  guess?'  '  Maybe,  Peru,'  said  Mr.  Burke, 
innocently.  '  Try  again,  sir, '  said  Sharkey,  with  a  know- 
ing  grin.      'Is   it   Behring's    Straits?'    said   Mr.   Burke. 


A  DAY   IN  DUBLIN.  255 

« What  do  you  think  of  Galway,  sir?'  said  Sharkey,  with 
a  leer  intended  to  cement  a  friendship  for  life.  The  words 
were  no  sooner  out  of  his  lips  than  Burke,  who  immedi- 
ately took  them  as  a  piece  of  direct  insolence  to  himself  and 
his  country,  felled  him  to  the  earth,  and  was  in  the  act  of 
continuing  the  discipline  when  I  arrived  on  the  field  of 
battle." 


CHAPTER   XXII. 

A   NIGHT    AT    HOWTH. 

"And  you  must  really  leave  us  so  soon!"  said  Tom,  its 
we  issued  forth  into  the  street.  "  Why,  I  was  just  plan- 
ning a  whole  week's  adventure  for  you.  Town  is  so  full  of 
all  kinds  of  idle  people,  I  think  I  could  manage  to  make 
your  time  pass  pleasantly  enough." 

"Of  that,"  I  replied,  "I  have  little  doubt;  but,  for  the 
reasons  I  have  just  mentioned,  it  is  absolutely  necessary 
that  I  should  not  lose  a  moment;  and  after  arranging  a 
few  things  here,  I  shall  start  to-morrow  by  the  earliest 
packet,  and  hasten  up  to  London  at  once." 

"By  Jupiter,"  said  Tom,  "how  lucky!  I  just  remember 
something  which  comes  admirably  a  propos.  You  are  going 
to  Paris,  —  is  it  not  so?  " 

"Yes,  direct  to  Paris." 

"Nothing  could  be  better.  There  is  a  particularly  nice 
person,  a  great  friend  of  mine,  Mrs.  Bingham,  waiting  for 
several  days  in  hopes  of  a  chaperon  to  take  care  of  herself 
and  daughter  —  a  lovely  girl,  only  nineteen,  you  wretch  — 
to  London,  en  route  to  the  Continent;  the  mamma  a  delight- 
ful woman  and  a  widow,  with  a  very  satisfactory  jointure 
—  you  understand, — but  the  daughter  a  regular,  down- 
right beauty  and  a  ward  in  Chancery,  with  how  many 
thousand  pounds  I  am  afraid  to  trust  myself  to  say.  You 
must  know,  then,  they  are  the  Binghams  of  —  Upon  my 
soul,  I  forget  where,  but  highly  respectable." 

"  I  regret  I  have  not  the  pleasure  of  their  acquaintance, 
and  the  more  because  I  shall  not  be  able  to  make  it  now." 

"As  why?"  said  Tom,  gravely. 

"  Because,  in  the  first  place,  I  am  so  confoundedly  pressed 
for  time  that  I  could  not  possibly  delay  under  any  contin- 


A  NIGHT  AT  HOWTH.  257 

gency  that  might  arise ;  and  your  fair  friends  are,  doubtless, 
not  so  eagerly  determined  upon  travelling  night  and  day  till 
they  reach  Paris.  Secondly,  to  speak  candidly,  with  my 
present  hopes  and  fears  weighing  upon  my  mind,  I  should 
not  be  the  most  agreeable  travelling  companion  to  two  ladies 
with  such  pretensions  as  you  speak  of;  and  thirdly  —  " 

"Confound  your  thirdly!  I  suppose  we  shall  have  six- 
teenthly,  like  a  Presbyterian  minister's  sermon,  if  I  let  you 
go  on.  Why,  they  '11  not  delay  you  one  hour.  Mrs.  Bing- 
ham, man,  cares  as  little  for  the  road  as  yourself;  and  as 
for  your  petits  so  ins,  I  suppose  if  you  get  the  fair  ladies 
through  the  Custom  House  and  see  them  safe  in  a  London 
hotel,  it  is  all  that  will  be  required  at  your  hands." 

"Notwithstanding  all  you  say,  I  see  the  downright  im- 
possibility of  my  taking  such  a  charge  at  this  moment, 
when  my  own  affairs  require  all  the  little  attention  I  can 
bestow,  and  when,  were  I  once  involved  with  your  fair 
friends,  it  might  be  completely  out  of  my  power  to  prose- 
cute my  oavu  plans." 

As  I  said  this,  we  reached  the  door  of  a  handsome-looking 
house  in  Kildare  Street,  upon  which  Tom  left  my  arm,  and 
informing  me  that  he  desired  to  drop  a  card,  knocked 
loudly. 

"Is  Mrs.  Bingham  at  home?"  said  he,  as  the  servant 
opened  the  door. 

"No,  sir,  she  's  out  in  the  carriage." 

"  Well,  you  see,  Harry,  your  ill-luck  befriends  you ;  for 
I  was  resolved  on  presenting  you  to  my  friends  and  leaving 
the  rest  to  its  merits." 

"I  can  safely  assure  you  that  I  should  not  have  gone 
upstairs,"  said  I.  "Little  as  I  know  of  myself,  there  is 
one  point  of  my  character  I  have  never  been  deceived  in, 
—  the  fatal  facility  by  which  every  new  incident  or  adven- 
ture can  turn  me  from  following  up  my  best-matured  and 
longest-digested  plans;  and  as  I  feel  this  weakness  and 
cannot  correct  it,  the  next  best  thing  I  can  do  is  to  fly  the 
causes." 

"  Upon  my  soul, "  said  Tom,  "  you  have  become  quite  a 

VOL.  I.  — 17 


258  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

philosopher  since  we  met.  There  is  an  old  adage  which 
says,  '  No  king  is  ever  thoroughly  gracious  if  he  has  not 
passed  a  year  or  two  in  dethronement; '  so  I  believe  your 
regular  lady-killer  —  yourself,  for  instance  —  becomes  a 
very  quiet  animal  for  being  occasionally  jilted.  But  now, 
as  you  have  some  commissions  to  do,  pray  get  done  with 
them  as  fast  as  possible,  and  let  us  meet  at  dinner.  Where 
do  you  dine  to-day?" 

"Why,  upon  that  point  I  am  at  your  service  completely." 

"  Well,  then,  I  have  got  a  plan  which  I  think  will  suit 
you.  You  said  you  wished  to  go  by  Holyhead,  for  fear  of 
delay;  so  we  '11  drive  down  at  six  o'clock  to  Skinner's,  and 
dine  with  him  on  board  the  packet  at  Howth.  Bring  your 
luggage  with  you,  and  it  will  save  you  a  vast  deal  of  fuss 
and  trouble  in  the  morning." 

Nothing  could  be  better  management  for  me  than  this,  so 
I  accordingly  promised  acquiescence;  and  having  appointed 
a  rendezvous  for  six  o'clock,  bade  O'Flaherty  good-by,  in- 
wardly rejoicing  that  my  plans  were  so  far  forwarded,  and 
that  I  was  not  to  be  embarrassed  with  either  Mrs.  Bingham 
or  her  daughter,  for  whose  acquaintance  or  society  I  had 
no  peculiar  ambition. 

My  commissions,  though  not  very  numerous,  occupied  the 
few  hours  which  remained,  and  it  was  already  a  few  min- 
utes past  six  o'clock  when  I  took  my  stand  under  the  piazza 
of  the  Post-office  to  wait  for  O'Flaherty.  I  had  not  long  to 
do  so,  for  immediately  after  I  had  reached  the  spot  he 
arrived  in  an  open  barouche  and  four  posters,  with  three 
other  young  men  to  whom  he  severally  introduced  me,  but 
whose  names  I  have  totally  forgotten ;  I  only  remember  that 
two  of  the  party  were  military  men  then  quartered  in 
town. 

When  I  had  taken  my  seat,  I  could  not  help  whispering 
to  Tom  that  although  his  friend  Skinner  might  be  bon  for 
a  visitation  for  two  at  his  dinner,  yet  as  we  were  now  so 
strong  a  party,  it  might  be  as  well  to  dine  at  the  hotel. 

"Oh!"  said  he,  "I  have  arranged  all  that;  I  have  sent 
him  a  special  messenger  two  hours  since,  and  so  make  your 


A  NIGHT   AT  HOWTH.  259 

mind  easy,  —  we  shall  not  be  disappointed,  nor  he  short- 
taken." 

Our  drive,  although  a  long  one,  passed  quickly  over,  and 
before  we  had  reached  our  destination  I  had  become  tolera- 
bly intimate  with  all  the  party,  who  were  evidently  picked 
men,  selected  by  O'Flaherty  for  a  pleasant  evening. 

We  drove  along  the  pier  to  the  wharf  where  the  steamer 
lay,  and  were  received  at  once  by  Tom's  friend  with  all  the 
warm  welcome  and  hospitality  of  a  sailor,  united  with  the 
address  and  polish  of  a  very  finished  gentleman.  As  we 
descended  the  companion-ladder  to  the  cabin,  my  mind 
became  speedily  divested  of  any  fears  I  might  have  indulged 
in  as  to  the  want  of  preparation  of  our  entertainer.  The 
table  was  covered  with  handsome  plate  and  cut  glass,  while 
the  side-tables  glittered  with  a  magnificent  dessert,  and  two 
large  wine-coolers  presented  an  array  of  champagne  necks 
shining  with  their  leaden  cravats  that  would  have  tempted 
an  anchorite. 

I  remember  very  little  else  of  that  evening  than  the  coup 
d'ceil  1  have  mentioned.  Besides,  were  my  memory  more 
retentive,  I  might  scruple  to  trespass  farther  on  my  reader's 
patience  by  the  detail  of  those  pleasures  which,  like  love- 
letters,  however  agreeable  to  the  parties  immediately  con- 
cerned, are  very  unedifying  to  all  others.  I  do  remember, 
certainly,  that  good  stories  and  capital  songs  succeeded  each 
other  with  a  rapidity  only  to  be  equalled  by  the  popping  of 
corks,  and  have  also  a  very  vague  and  indistinct  recollec- 
tion of  a  dance  round  the  table,  —  evidently  to  finish  a 
chorus,  but  which,  it  appears,  finished  me  too,  for  I  saw  no 
more  that  night. 

How  many  have  commemorated  the  waking  sensations 
of  their  fellow-men  after  a  night's  debauch!  Yet  at  the 
same  time,  I  am  not  aware  of  any  one  having  perfectly  con- 
veyed even  a  passing  likeness  to  the  mingled  throng  of 
sensations  which  crowd  one's  brain  on  such  an  occasion. 
The  doubt  of  what  has  passed,  by  degrees  yielding  to  the 
half-consciousness  of  the  truth;  the  feeling  of  shame  insep- 
arable, except  to  the  habitually  hard-goer,  from  the  events 


260  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

thus  dimly  pictured;  tlie  racking  headache  and  intense 
thirst,  with  the  horror  of  the  potation  recently  indulged 
in ;  the  recurring  sense  of  the  fun  or  drollery  of  a  story  or 
an  incident  which  provokes  us  again  to  laugh,  despite  the 
jarring  of  our  brain  from  the  shaking,  —  all  this,  and  more, 
most  men  have  felt;  and  happy  are  they  when  their  wak- 
ing thoughts  are  limited  to  such,  at  times  like  these.  The 
matter  becomes  considerably  Avorse  when  the  following 
morning  calls  for  some  considerable  exertion  for  which, 
even  in  your  best  and  calmest  moments,  you  barely  find 
yourself  equal. 

It  is  truly  unpleasant,  on  rubbing  your  eyes  and  opening 
your  ears,  to  discover  that  the  great  bell  is  ringing  the  half- 
hour  before  your  quarterly  examination  at  college,  while 
Locke,  Lloyd,  and  Lucian  are  dancing  a  reel  through  your 
brain  little  short  of  madness;  scarcely  less  agreeable  is  it 
to  learn  that  your  friend  Captain  Wildfire  is  at  the  door  in 
his  cab,  to  accompany  jon  to  the  Phoenix,  to  stand  within 
twelve  paces  of  a  cool  gentleman  who  has  been  sitting  with 
his  arm  in  cold  water  for  the  last  half-hour,  that  he  may 
pick  you  out  "artist-like."  There  are,  besides  these,  innu- 
merable situations  in  which  our  preparations  of  the  night 
would  appear  as  none  of  the  wisest;  but  I  prefer  going  at 
once  to  my  own,  which,  although  considerably  inferior  in 
difficulty,  was  not  without  its  own  desagremcnts. 

When  I  awoke,  therefore,  on  board  the  "  Firefly "  the 
morning  after  our  dinner-party,  I  was  perfectly  unable,  by 
any  mental  process  within  my  reach,  to  discover  where  I 
was.  On  shipboard  I  felt  I  must  be,  —  the  narrow  berth, 
the  gilded  and  panelled  cabin  which  met  my  eye  through 
my  half-open  curtains,  and  that  peculiar  swelling  motion 
inseparable  from  a  vessel  in  the  water,  all  satisfied  me  of 
this  fact.  I  looked  about  me,  but  could  see  no  one  to  give 
me  the  least  idea  of  my  position.  Could  it  be  that  we  were 
on  our  way  out  to  Corfu,  and  that  I  had  been  ill  for  some 
time  past? 

But  this  cabin  had  little  resemblance  to  a  transport. 
Perhaps  it  might  be  a  frigate.,  <r~  \  knew  not.    Then,  again, 


A  NIGHT  AT  HOWTH.  261 

were  we  sailing,  or  at  anchor?  for  the  ship  was  nearly 
motionless.  At  this  instant  a  tremendous  noise  like  thun- 
der crashed  through  my  head,  and  for  a  moment  I  expected 
we  had  exploded  and  would  be  all  blown  up ;  but  an  instant 
after,  I  discovered  it  must  be  the  escape  of  the  steam,  and 
that  I  was  on  board  a  packet-ship.  Here,  then,  was  some 
clew  to  my  situation,  and  one  which  would  probably  have 
elicited  all  in  due  season ;  but  just  at  this  moment  a  voice 
on  deck  saved  me  from  any  further  calculations.  Two 
persons  were  conversing,  whose  voices  were  not  altogether 
unknown  to  me,  but  why,  I  knew  not. 

"Then,  Captain,  I  suppose  you  consider  this  as  an  excel- 
lent passage?" 

"Yes,  of  course  I  do,"  replied  the  captain;  "it's  only 
five  hours  since  we  left  Howth,  and  now,  you  see,  we  are 
nearly  in.  If  we  have  this  run  of  the  tide,  we  shall 
reach  the  Head  before  twelve  o'clock." 

"  Ha,  ha ! "  said  I  to  myself ;  "  now  I  begin  to  learn 
something.  So  we  have  crossed  the  Channel  while  I  was 
sleeping,  —  not  the  least  agreeable  thing  for  a  man  to  hear 
who  suffers  martyrdom  from  sea-sickness.  But  let  me  lis- 
ten again." 

"And  that  large  mountain  there,  is  that  Snowdon?" 

"No,  you  cannot  see  Snowdon,  there  is  too  much  mist 
about  it;  that  mountain  is  Capel  Curig!  And  there,  that 
bold  bluff  to  the  eastward,  that  is  Penmaenmawr." 

"Come,  there  is  no  time  to  be  lost,"  thought  I;  so 
springing  out  of  my  berth,  accoutred  as  I  was,  in  merely 
trousers  and  slippers,  with  a  red  handkerchief  fastened, 
nightcap  fashion,  round  my  head,  I  took  my  way  through 
the  cabin. 

My  first  thought  on  getting  upon  my  legs  was,  how 
tremendously  the  vessel  pitched,  which  I  had  not  remarked 
while  in  my  berth,  but  now  I  could  scarce  keep  myself 
from  falling  at  every  step.  I  was  just  about  to  call  the 
steward  when  I  again  heard  the  voices  on  deck. 

"You  have  but  few  passengers  this  trip?" 

"I  think  only  yourself  and  a  Captain  Lorrequer,"  replied 


262  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  captain,  —  "  who,  by  the  by,  is  losing  all  this  fine  coast, 
which  is  certainly  a  great  pity." 

"  He  shall  not  do  so  much  longer, "  thought  I ;  "  for  as  I 
find  that  there  are  no  other  passengers,  I  '11  make  my  toilet 
on  deck,  and  enjoy  the  view  besides."  With  this  determi- 
nation I  ascended  slowly  and  cautiously  the  companipn- 
ladder,  and  stepped  out  upon  the  deck;  but  scarcely  had  I 
done  so  when  a  roar  of  the  loudest  laughter  made  me  turn 
my  head  towards  the  poop,  and  there,  to  my  horror  of  hor- 
rors, I  beheld  Tom  O' Flaherty  seated  between  two  ladies, 
whose  most  vociferous  mirth  I  soon  perceived  was  elicited 
at  my  expense. 

All  the  party  of  the  preceding  night  were  also  there,  and 
as  I  turned  from  their  grinning  faces  to  the  land,  I  saw,  to 
my  shame  and  confusion,  that  we  were  still  lying  beside 
the  pier  at  Howth;  while  the  bandboxes,  trunks,  and  impe- 
rials of  new  arrivals  were  incessantly  pouring  in,  as  travel- 
ling carriages  kept  (hiving  up  to  the  place  of  embarkation. 
I  stood  perfectly  astounded  and  bewildered.  Shame  for 
my  ridiculous  costume  would  have  made  me  fly  at  any  other 
time;  but  there  I  remained  to  be  laughed  at  patiently, 
while  that  villain  0' Flaherty,  leading  me  passively  for- 
ward, introduced  me  to  his  friends:  "Mrs.  Bingham,  Mr. 
Lorrequer;  Mr.  Lorrequer,  Miss  Bingham.  Don't  be  pre- 
possessed against  him,  ladies,  for  when  not  in  love  and 
properly  dressed,  he  is  a  marvellously  well-looking  young 
gentleman ;  and  as  —  " 

What  the  remainder  of  the  sentence  might  be,  I  knew 
not;  for  I  rushed  down  into  the  cabin,  and  locking  the 
door,  never  opened  it  till  I  could  perceive  from  the  stern 
windows  that  we  were  really  off  on  our  way  to  England, 
and  recognized  once  more  the  laughing  face  of  O' Flaherty, 
who,  as  he  waved  his  hat  to  his  friends  from  the  pier,  re- 
minded them  that  "they  were  under  the  care  and  pro- 
tection of  his  friend  Lorrequer,  who,  he  trusted,  would 
condescend  to  increase  his  wearing  apparel  under  the 
circumstances." 


CHAPTEE  XXIII. 

THE   JOURNEY. 

When  I  did  at  last  venture  upon  deck,  it  was  with  a 
costume  studiously  accurate,  and  as  much  of  manner  as  I 
could  possibly  muster  to  endeavor  at  once  to  erase  the 
unfortunate  impression  of  my  first  appearance;  this,  how- 
ever, was  not  destined  to  be  a  perfectly  successful  manoeu- 
vre, and  I  was  obliged,  after  a  few  minutes,  to  join  the 
laugh,  which  I  found  could  not  be  repressed,  at  my  expense. 
One  good  result  certainly  followed  from  all  this,  — I  became 
almost  immediately  on  intimate  terms  with  Mrs.  Bingham 
and  her  daughter,  and  much  of  the  awkwardness  in  my 
position  as  their  chaperon,  which,  hon  gr&,  mal  gre,  I  was 
destined  to  be,  was  at  once  got  over.  Mrs.  Bingham  her- 
self was  of  that  style  of  widow  which  comes  under  the  "  fat, 
fair,  and  forty  "  category,  with  a  never-ceasing  flow  of  high, 
almost  boisterous  spirits,  an  excellent  temper,  good  health, 
and  a  well-stocked  purse.  Life  to  her  was  like  a  game  ot 
her  favorite  "speculation."  When  she  believed  the  "com- 
pany honest, "  and  knew  her  cards  trumps,  she  was  tolera- 
bly easy  for  the  result.  She  liked  Kingstown;  she  liked 
whist;  she  liked  the  military;  she  liked  "the  Junior  Bar," 
of  which  she  knew  a  good  number ;  she  had  a  well-furnished 
house  in  Kildare  Street  and  a  well-cushioned  pew  in  St. 
Anne's;  she  was  a  favorite  at  the  Castle,  and  Dr.  Labatt 
"knew  her  constitution."  Why,  with  all  these  advantages, 
she  should  ever  have  thought  of  leaving  the  "  happy  valley  " 
of  her  native  city,  it  was  somewhat  hard  to  guess.  Was  it 
that  thoughts  of  matrimony,  which  the  Continent  held  out 
more  prospect  for,  had  invaded  the  fair  widow's  heart? 
Was  it  that  the  altered  condition  to  which  politics  had 
greatly  reduced  Dublin  had  effected  this  change  of  opinion? 


264  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

Or  was  it  like  that  indescribable  longing  for  tlie  unknown 
something  which  we  read  of  in  the  pathetic  history  of  the 
fair  lady  celebrated,  I  believe,  by  Petrarch?  But  I  quote 
from  memory,  — 

"  Mrs.  Gill  is  very  ill; 

Nothing  can  improve  her 
But  to  see  the  Tuileries 
And  waddle  through  the  Louvre." 

None  of  these,  I  believe,  however  good  and  valid  reasons 
in  themselves,  were  the  moving  powers  upon  the  present 
occasion;  the  all-sufficient  one  being  that  Mrs.  Bingham 
had  a  daughter.  Now,  Miss  Bingham  was  Dublin  too,  — 
but  Dublin  of  a  later  edition,  and  a  finer,  more  hot-pressed 
copy  than  her  mamma.  She  had  been  educated  at  Mrs. 
Somebody's  seminary  in  Mount  joy  Square,  had  been  taught 
to  dance  by  Montague,  and  had  learned  French  from  a  Swiss 
governess,  with  a  number  of  similar  advantages, — a  very 
pretty  figure,  dark  eyes,  long  eyelashes  and  a  dimple,  and 
last,  but  of  course  least,  the  deserved  reputation  of  a  large 
fortune.  She  had  made  a  most  successful  debut  in  the 
Dublin  world,  where  she  was  much  admired  and  flattered, 
and  which  soon  suggested  to  her  quick  mind,  as  it  has  often 
done  in  similar  cases  to  a  young  provincial  dibutante,  not 
to  waste  her  attractions  upon  the  minor  theatres,  but  at 
once  to  appear  upon  the  "  great  boards, "  —  so  far  eviden- 
cing a  higher  flight  of  imagination  and  enterprise  than  is 
usually  found  among  the  class  of  her  early  associates,  who 
may  be  characterized  as  that  school  of  young  ladies  who 
admire  "The  Corsair"  and  Kingstown,  and  say,  "Ah, 
don't!" 

She  possessed  much  more  common-sense  than  her  mamma, 
and  promised,  under  proper  advantages,  to  become  speedily 
quite  sufficiently  acquainted  with  the  world  and  its  habi- 
tudes. In  the  mean  while,  I  perceived  that  she  ran  a  very 
considerable  risk  of  being  carried  off  by  some  mustachioed 
Pole,  with  a  name  like  a  sneeze,  who  might  pretend  to  enjoy 
access  to  the  fashionable  circles  of  the  Continent. 


THE  JOUKNET.  265 

Very  little  study  of  my  two  friends  enabled  me  to  see 
thus  much,  and  very  little  "usage"  sufficed  to  render  me 
speedily  intimate  with  both;  the  easy  good-nature  of  the 
mamma,  who  had  a  very  methodistical  appreciation  of 
what  the  " connection "  call  "creature  comforts,"  amused 
me  much,  and  opened  one  ready  path  to  her  good  graces  by 
the  opportunity  afforded  of  getting  up  a  luncheon  of  veal 
cutlets  and  London  porter,  of  which  I  partook,  —  not  a 
little  to  the  evident  loss  of  the  fair  daughter's  esteem. 

While,  therefore,  I  made  the  tour  of  the  steward's  cell 
in  search  of  Harvey's  sauce,  I  brushed  up  my  memory  of 
"The  Corsair"  and  "Childe  Harold,"  and  alternately  dis- 
cussed Stilton  and  Southey,  Shelley  and  lobsters,  Haynes 
Bayley  and  ham. 

The  day  happened  to  be  particularly  calm  and  delightful, 
so  that  we  never  left  the  deck,  and  the  six  hours  which 
brought  us  from  land  to  land  quickly  passed  over  in  this 
manner;  and  ere  we  reached  "the  Head,"  I  had  become  the 
warm  friend  and  legal  adviser  of  the  mother;  and  with  the 
daughter  I  was  installed  as  chief  confidant  of  all  her  griefs 
and  sorrows,  both  of  which  appointments  cost  me  a  solemn 
promise  to  take  care  of  them  till  their  arrival  in  Paris, 
where  they  had  many  friends  and  acquaintances  awaiting 
them.  Here,  then,  as  usual,  was  the  fatal  facility  with 
which  I  gave  myself  up  to  any  one  who  took  the  trouble  to 
influence  me !  One  thing,  nevertheless,  I  was  determined 
onj  —  to  let  no  circumstance  defer  my  arrival  at  Paris  a 
day  later  than  was  possible;  therefore,  though  my  office  as 
chaperon  might  engage  me  on  the  road,  it  should  not  inter- 
fere with  the  object  before  me.  Had  my  mind  not  been  so 
completely  engaged  with  my  own  immediate  prospects,  when 
hope,  suddenly  and  unexpectedly  revived,  had  become  so 
tinged  with  fears  and  doubts  as  to  be  almost  torture,  I  must 
have  been  much  amused  with  my  present  position,  as  I 
found  myself  seated  with  my  two  fair  friends,  rolling  along 
through  Wales  in  their  comfortable  travelling  carriage, 
giving  all  the  orders  at  the  different  hotels,  seeing  after 
the  luggage,  and  acting  en  maitre  in  every  respect. 


26G 


HARRY  LORREQUER. 


The  good  widow  enjoyed  particularly  the  difficulty  which 
my  precise  position  with  regard  to  her  and  her  daughter 
threw  the  different  innkeepers  on  the  road  into,  sometimes 
supposing  me  to  be  her  husband,  sometimes  her  son,  and 
once  her  son-in-law,  — which  very  alarming  conjecture 
brought  a  crimson  tinge  to  the  fair  daughter's  cheek;  an 
expression,  which,  in  my  ignorance,  I  thought  looked  very 
like  an  inclination  to  faint  in  my  arms. 


At  length  we  reached  London;  and  having  been  there 
safely  installed  at  Mivart's,  I  sallied  forth  to  present  my 
letter  to  the  Horse  Guards  and  obtain  our  passport  for  the 
Continent. 

"Number  9,  Poland  Street,  sir,"  said  the  waiter,  as  I 
inquired  the  address  of  the  French  consul.  Having  discov- 
ered that  my  interview  with  the  commander-in-chief  was 
appointed  for  four  o'clock,  I  determined  tq  lose  no  time,, 


THE  JOURNEY.  267 

but  make  every  possible  arrangement  for  leaving  London 
in  the  morning. 

A  cab  quietly  conveyed  me  to  the  door  of  the  consul, 
around  which  stood  several  other  vehicles  of  every  shape 
and  fashion,  while  in  the  doorway  were  to  be  seen  numbers 
of  people,  thronging  and  pressing,  like  the  opera-pit  on  a 
full  night.  Into  the  midst  of  this  assemblage  I  soon  thrust 
myself,  and  borne  upon  the  current,  at  length  reached  a 
small  back  parlor  filled  also  with  people.  A  door  opening 
into  another  small  room  in  the  front  showed  a  similar  mob 
there,  with  the  addition  of  a  small  elderly  man  in  a  bag-wig 
and  spectacles,  very  much  begrimed  with  snuff,  and  speak- 
ing in  a  very  choleric  tone  to  the  various  applicants  for 
passports,  who,  totally  ignorant  of  French,  insisted  upon 
interlarding  their  demands  with  an  occasional  stray  phrase, 
making  a  kind  of  tessellated  pavement  of  tongues  which 
would  have  shamed  Babel.  Nearest  to  the  table  at  which 
the  functionary  sat  stood  a  mustachioed  gentleman  in  a  blue 
frock  and  white  trousers,  a  white  hat  jauntily  set  upon  one 
side  of  his  head,  and  primrose  gloves.  He  cast  a  momen- 
tary glance  of  a  very  undervaluing  import  upon  the  crowd 
around  him,  and  then,  turning  to  the  consul,  said  in  a  very 
soprano  tone,  — 

"  Passe-port,  monsieur  !  " 

"  Que  voulez-vous  que  je  fasse  ?  "  replied  the  old  French- 
man, gruffly. 

"Je  suis — j'ai  —  that  is,  donnez-moi  passe-port." 

"Where  do  you  go?"  replied  the  consul. 

"  Calai." 

"  Comment,  diable  !  Speak  Inglis,  an'  I  understan'  you 
as  besser.     Your  name?  " 

"Lorraine  Snaggs,  gentilhomme." 

"What  age  have  you,  — how  old?" 

"Twenty-two." 

"  C'est  ca,"  said  the  old  consul,  flinging  the  passport 
across  the  table  with  the  air  of  a  man  who  thoroughly  com- 
prehended the  applicant's  pretension  to  the  designation  of 
gentilhomme  anglais. 


268  HARRY    LORREQUER. 

As  I  followed  the  worthy  representative  of  Seven  Dials 
with  my  eye,  another  person  had  neared  the  table.  She 
was  a  rather  pretty  young  woman,  with  blue  eyes  and 
brown  hair  braided  quietly  on  her  forehead,  and  wearing 
a  plain  close  bonnet  of  a  very  coquettish  appearance. 

"Will  you  be  seated,  mamselle?"  said  the  polite  old 
Frenchman,  who  had  hitherto  been  more  like  a  bear  than 
a  human  being.  "  Ou  allez-vous  done  ?  where  to,  ma 
ehere?" 

"To  Paris,  sir." 

"By  Calais?" 

"No,  sir;  by  Boulogne." 

"  Cest  ban;  quel  age  avez-vous  ?     What  old,  ma  belle  ?  " 

"Nineteen,  sir,  in  June." 

"And  are  you  alone  quite,  eh?" 

"No,  sir,  my  little  girl." 

"Ah!  your  leetel  girl  —  c' 'est  fort  Men;  je  m'apergois. 
And  your  name?  " 

"Fanny  Linwood,  sir." 

"  Cest  fini,  ma  chere,  — Mademoiselle  Fanny  Linwood," 
said  the  old  man,  as  he  wrote  down  the  name. 

"Oh,  sir,  I  beg  your  pardon,  but  you  have  put  me  down 
'  mademoiselle, '  and  —  and  —  you  see,  sir,  I  have  my  little 
girl." 

"Ah!  c' 'est  egal,  mamselle;  they  don't  mind  these 
things  in  France.     Auplaisirde  runs  voir,  adieu  I" 

"  'They  don't  mind  these  things  in  France! ' '  said  I  to 
myself,  repeating  the  old  consul's  phrase,  which  I  could 
not  help  feeling  as  a  whole  chapter  on  his  nation. 

My  business  was  soon  settled,  for  I  spoke  nothing  but 
English,  very  little  knowledge  of  the  world  teaching  me 
that  when  we  have  any  favor,  however  slight,  to  ask,  it  is 
always  good  policy  to  make  the  demand  by  propitiating  the 
self-esteem  of  the  granter,  —  if,  happily,  there  be  an  oppor- 
tunity for  so  doing. 

When  I  returned  to  Mivart's,  I  found  a  written  answer 
to  my  letter  of  the  morning,  stating  that  his  lordship  of  the 
Horse  Guards  was  leaving  town  that  afternoon,  but  would 


THE  JOURNEY.  269 

not  delay  my  departure  for  the  Continent,  to  visit  which  a 
four  months'  leave  was  granted  me,  with  a  recommendation 
to  study  at  Weimar. 

The  next  day  brought  us  to  Dover,  in  time  to  stroll  about 
the  cliffs  during  the  evening,  when  I  again  talked  sentiment 
with  the  daughter  till  very  late.  The  mamma  herself  was 
too  tired  to  come  out,  so  that  we  had  our  walk  quite  alone. 
It  is  strange  enough  how  quickly  this  travelling  together 
has  shaken  us  into  intimacy.  Isabella  says  she  feels  as  if  I 
were  her  brother,  and  I  begin  to  think  myself  she  is  not 
exactly  like  a  sister.  She  has  a  marvellously  pretty  foot 
and  ankle. 

The  climbing  of  cliffs  is  a  very  dangerous  pastime.  How 
true  the  French  adage,  —  C  'est  plus  facile  de  glisser  sur  le 
gazon  que  stir  la  glace.  But  still  nothing  can  come  of  it; 
for  if  Lady  Jane  be  not  false,  I  must  consider  myself  an 
engaged  man. 

"Well,  but  I  hope,"  said  I,  rousing  myself  from  a  revery 
of  some  minutes,  and  inadvertently  pressing  the  arm  which 
leaned  upon  me,  "your  mamma  will  not  be  alarmed  at  our 
long  absence?  " 

"Oh!  not  in  the  least;  for  she  knows  I 'm  with  you." 

And  here  I  felt  a  return  of  the  pressure,  —  perhaps  also 
inadvertently  given,  but  which,  whether  or  not,  effectually 
set  all  my  reasonings  and  calculations  astray;  and  we  re- 
turned to  the  hotel  silent  on  both  sides. 

The  appearance  of  "  mamma  "  beside  the  hissing  tea-urn 
brought  us  both  back  to  ourselves;  and  after  an  hour's 
chatting  we  said  "Good  night,"  to  start  on  the  morrow  for 
the  Continent. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

CALAIS. 

It  was  upon  a  lovely  evening  in  autumn  as  the  Dover 
steamboat  rounded  the  wooden  pier  at  Calais,  amid  a  fleet 
of  small  boats  filled  with  eager  and  anxious  faces,  solicit- 
ing, in  every  species  of  bad  English  and  patois  French,  the 
attention  and  patronage  of  the  passengers. 

"Hotel  des  Bains,  milor." 

"Hotel  d'Angleterre,"  said  another,  in  a  voice  of  the  most 
imposing  superiority.     "  C'est  superbe,  — pretty  well." 

"Hotel  du  Nord,  votre  Excellence ;  remise  de  poste  and 
delays  [query,  relays]  at  all  hours." 

"  Commissionnaire,  miladi,"  sang  out  a  small  shrill  treble 
from  the  midst  of  a  crowded  cock-boat,  nearly  swamped 
beneath  our  paddle-wheel. 

What  a  scene  of  bustle,  confusion,  and  excitement  does 
the  deck  of  a  steamer  present  upon  such  an  occasion! 
Every  one  is  running  hither  or  thither.  Sauve  qui  pent 
is  now  the  watchword;  and  friendships  that  promised  a 
lifelong  endurance  only  half  an  hour  ago,  find  here  a 
speedy  dissolution.  The  lady  who  slept  all  night  upon 
deck  enveloped  in  the  folds  of  your  Astrakhan  cloak 
scarcely  deigns  an  acknowledgment  of  you  as  she  adjusts 
her  ringlets  before  the  looking-glass  over  the  stove  in  the 
cabin;  the  polite  gentleman  that  would  have  flown  for  a 
reticule  or  a  smelling-bottle  upon  the  high  seas,  won't  leave 
his  luggage  in  the  harbor;  and  the  gallantry  and  devotion 
that  stood  the  test  of  half  a  gale  of  wind  and  a  wet  jacket 
is  not  proof  when  the  safety  of  a  carpet-bag  or  the  security 
of  a  "  Mackintosh  "  is  concerned. 

And  thus  here,  as  elsewhere,  is  prosperity  the  touchstone 
of  good  feeling.     All  the  various  disguises  which  have  been 


CALAIS.  271 

assumed  per  viaggio  are  here  immediately  abandoned,  and 
stripped  of  the  travelling  costume  of  urbanity  and  courtesy, 
which  they  put  on  for  the  voyage,  they  stand  forth  in  all 
the  unblushing  front  of  selfishness  and  self-interest. 

Some  tender  scenes  yet  find  their  place  amid  the  ruins  of 
this  chaotic  state.  Here  may  be  seen  a  careful  mother 
adjusting  innumerable  shawls  and  handkerchiefs  round  the 
throat  of  a  sea-green  young  lady  with  a  cough,  — her  maid, 
at  the  same  instant,  taking  a  tender  farewell  of  the  steward 
in  the  after-cabin. 

Here  is  a  very  red-faced  and  hot  individual,  with  punch- 
colored  breeches  and  gaiters,  disputing  "one  brandy  too 
much  "  in  his  bill,  and  vowing  that  the  company  shall  hear 
of  it  when  he  returns  to  England.  There,  a  tall,  elderly 
woman,  with  a  Scotch-gray  eye  and  a  sharp  cheek-bone,  is 
depositing  within  her  muff  various  seizable  articles,  that, 
until  now,  had  been  lying  quietly  in  her  trunk.  Yonder, 
that  raw-looking  young  gentleman,  with  the  crumpled  frock- 
coat  and  loose  cravat  and  sea-sick  visage,  is  asking  every 
one  if  they  think  he  may  land  without  a  passport.  You 
scarcely  recognize  him  for  the  cigar-smoking  dandy  of  yes- 
terday, that  talked  as  if  he  had  lived  half  his  life  on  the 
Continent.  While  there,  a  rather  pretty  girl  is  looking 
intently  at  some  object  in  the  blue  water  beside  the  rudder 
post.  You  are  surprised  you  cannot  make  it  out ;  but  then, 
she  has  the  advantage  of  you,  for  the  tall,  well-looking 
man,  with  the  knowing  whiskers,  is  evidently  whispering 
something  in  her  ear. 

"Steward,  this  is  not  my  trunk;  mine  was  a  leather  —  " 

"All  the  '  leathers  '  are  gone  in  the  first  boat,  sir." 

"Most  scandalous  way  of  doing  business." 

"Trouble  you  for  two-and-sixpence,  sir." 

"There  's  Matilda  coughing  again,"  says  a  thin,  shrewish 
woman,  with  a  kind  of  triumphant  scowl  at  her  better  half; 
"  but  you  toould  have  her  wear  that  thin  shawl !  " 

"Whatever  may  be  the  fault  of  the  shawl,  I  fancy  no 
one  will  reproach  her  ankles  for  thinness,"  murmurs  a 
young  guardsman  as  he  peeps  up  the  companion-ladder. 


272  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Amid  all  the  Babel  of  tongues  and  uproar  of  voices,  the 
thorough  bass  of  the  escape  steam  keeps  up  its  infernal 
thunders  till  the  very  brain  reels;  and  sick  as  you  have 
been  of  the  voyage,  you  half  wish  yourself  once  more  at 
sea,  if  only  to  have  a  moment  of  peace  and  tranquillity. 

Numbers  now  throng  the  deck  who  have  never  made  their 
appearance  before.  Pale,  jaundiced,  and  crumpled,  they 
have  all  the  sea-sick  look  and  haggard  cheek  of  the  real 
martyr,  —  all  except  one,  a  stout,  swarthy,  brown-visaged 
man,  of  about  forty,  with  a  frame  of  iron  and  a  voice  like 
the  fourth  string  of  a  violoncello.  You  wonder  why  he 
should  have  taken  to  his  bed.  Learn,  then,  that  he  is  his 
Majesty's  courier  from  the  Foreign  Office,  with  despatches  to 
Constantinople,  and  that  as  he  is  not  destined  to  lie  down  in 
a  bed  for  the  next  fourteen  days,  he  is  glad  even  of  the 
narrow  resemblance  to  one  he  finds  in  the  berth  of  a  steam- 
boat. At  length  you  are  on  shore,  and  marched  off  in  a 
long  string,  like  a  gang  of  convicts,  to  the  Bureau  de 
l'Octroi;  and  here  is  begun  an  examination  of  the  lug- 
gage which  promises,  from  its  minuteness,  to  last  for  the 
three  months  you  destined  to  spend  in  Switzerland.  At 
the  end  of  an  hour  you  discover  that  the  soi-disant  com- 
missionnaire  will  transact  all  this  affair  for  a  few  francs ; 
and  after  a  tiresome  wait  in  a  filthy  room,  jostled,  elbowed, 
and  trampled  upon  by  boors  with  sabots,  you  adjourn  to 
your  inn  and  begin  to  feel  that  you  are  not  in  England. 

Our  little  party  had  but  few  of  the  miseries  here  recounted 
to  contend  with.  My  savoir  faire,  with  all  modesty  be  it 
spoken,  had  been  long  schooled  in  the  art  and  practice  of 
travelling;  and  while  our  less-experienced  fellow-travellers 
were  deep  in  the  novel  mysteries  of  cotton  stockings  and 
petticoats,  most  ostentatiously  displayed  upon  every  table 
of  the  Bureau,  we  were  comfortably  seated  in  the  handsome 
salon  of  the  Hotel  du  Nord,  looking  out  upon  a  pretty 
grass-plot  surrounded  with  orange-trees,  and  displaying  in 
the  middle  a  fountain  about  the  size  of  a  walking-stick. 

"Now,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Mrs.  Bingham,  as  she  seated 
herself  by  the  open  window,  "  never  forget  how  totally  de- 


CALAIS.  273 

pendent  we  are  upon  your  kind  offices.  Isabella  has  discov- 
ered already  that  the  French  of  Mount  joy  Square,  however 
intelligible  in  that  neighborhood,  and  even  as  far  as  Mount 
Street,  is  Coptic  and  Sanscrit  here ;  and  as  for  myself,  I 
intend  to  affect  deaf-and-dumbness  till  I  reach  Paris,  where 
I  hear  every  one  can  speak  English  a  little." 

"Now,  then,  to  begin  my  functions,"  said  I,  as  I  rang 
for  the  waiter  and  ran  over  in  my  mind  rapidly  how  many 
invaluable  hints  for  my  new  position  my  present  trip  might 
afford  me,   "always  provided,"  as   the   lawyers    say,  that 
Lady  Jane  Callonby  might  feel  herself  tempted  to  become 
my  travelling  companion,  in  which  case  —    But,  confound 
it,    how   I   am   castle-building   again!      Meanwhile,    Mrs. 
Bingham  is  looking  as  hungry  and  famished  as  though  she 
would  eat  the  waiter.     "Ha!  this  is  the  carte." 
"Now,  then,  to  order  supper." 
"  Cotelettes  d  'agneau." 
"Mayonnaise  de  homard." 

"  Perdreaux  rouges  aux  truffes,  —  mark  that,  aux  truffes" 
"  Gelee  an  maraschino" 

"And  the  wine,  sir,"  said  the  waiter,  with  a  look  of 
approval  at  my  selection.  "  Champagne,  —  no  other  wine, 
sir?" 

"No,"  said  I,  "champagne  only.  Frapjpe,  of  course,"  I 
added.  And  the  waiter  departed  with  a  bow  that  would 
have  graced  St.  James's. 

As  long  as  our  immaterial  and  better  part  shall  be  doomed 
to  keep  company  with  its  fleshly  tabernacle,  with  all  its 
attendant  miseries  of  gout  and  indigestion,  how  much  of 
our  enjoyment  in  this  world  is  dependent  upon  the  mere 
accessory  circumstances  by  which  the  business  of  life  is 
carried  on  and  maintained,  and  to  despise  which  is  neither 
good  policy  nor  sound  philosophy.  In  this  conclusion,  a 
somewhat  long  experience  of  the  life  of  a  traveller  has  fully 
established  me.  And  nowhere  does  it  press  more  forcibly 
upon  the  mind  than  when  first  arrived  in  a  Continental  inn, 
after  leaving  the  best  hotels  of  England  still  fresh  in  your 
memory.  I  do  not  for  a  moment  dispute  the  very  great 
vol.  i.  — 18 


274  IIAKRY  LOHREQUER. 

superiority  in  comfort  of  the  latter,  by  which  I  would  be 
understood  to  mean  all  those  resemblances  to  one's  own 
home  which  an  English  hotel  so  eminently  possesses,  and 
every  other  one  so  markedly  wants;  but  I  mean  that  in 
contrivances  to  elevate  the  spirit,  cheer  the  jaded  and  tired 
wayfarer  by  objects  which,  however  they  may  appeal  to  the 
mere  senses,  seem,  at  least,  but  little  sensual,  give  me  a 
foreign  inn.  Let  me  have  a  large,  spacious  salon,  with  its 
lofty  walls  and  its  airy,  large-paned  windows  (I  shall  not 
object  if  the  cornices  and  mouldings  be  gilded,  because  such 
is  usually  the  case) ;  let  the  sun  and  heat  of  a  summer's  day 
come  tempered  through  the  deep  lattices  of  a  well-fitting 
jalousie  bearing  upon  them  the  rich  incense  of  a  fragrant 
orange-tree  in  blossom,  and  the  sparkling  drops  of  a  neigh- 
boring fountain,  the  gentle  plash  of  which  is  faintly  audible 
amid  the  hum  of  the  drone-bee;  let  such  be  the  agrements 
without;  while  within,  let  the  more  substantial  joys  of  the 
table  await,  in  such  guise  as  only  a  French  cuisine  can  pre- 
sent them,  —  give  me  these,  I  say,  and  I  shall  never  sigh 
for  the  far-famed  and  long-deplored  comforts  of  a  box  in  a 
coffee-room  like  a  pew  in  a  parish  church,  though  certainly 
not  so  well  cushioned,  and  fully  as  dull,  with  a  hot  waiter 
and  a  cold  beefsteak ;  the  only  thing  higher  than  your  game 
being  your  bill,  and  the  only  thing  less  drinkable  than  your 
port  being  the  porter. 

With  such  exotic  notions,  imagine,  my  dear  reader, 
whether  or  not  I  felt  happy  as  I  found  myself  seated 
between  my  two  fair  friends  doing  the  honors  of  a  little 
supper,  and  assisting  the  exhilaration  of  our  champagne  by 
such  efforts  of  wit  as,  under  favorable  circumstances  like 
these,  are  ever  successful,  and  which,  being  like  the  foam- 
ing liquid  which  washes  them  down,  to  be  swallowed  with- 
out waiting,  are  ever  esteemed  good  from  the  excitement 
that  results,  and  never  seriously  canvassed  for  any  more 
sterling  merit.  Nothing  ever  makes  a  man  so  agreeable  as 
the  belief  that  he  is  so;  and  certainly  my  fair  companions 
appeared  to  have  the  most  excellent  idea  of  my  powers  in 
that  respect;  and  I  fancy  that  I  made  more  bons  mots,  hit 


CALAIS.  275 

off  more  epigrams,  and  invented  more  choice  incidents  on 
that  happy  evening  than,  if  now  remembered,  would  suffice 
to  pay  my  tailor's  bill  when  collated  for  "Bentley's  Mis- 
cellany," and  illustrated  by  Cruikshank.  Alas!  that,  like 
the  good  liquor  that  seasoned  them,  both  are  gone  by,  and 
I  am  left  but  to  chronicle  the  memory  of  the  fun  in  dulness, 
and  counterfeit  the  effervescence  of  the  grape-juice  by  soda- 
water.  One  thing,  however,  is  certain,  —  we  formed  a  most 
agreeable  party;  and  if  a  feeling  of  gloom  ever  momentarily 
shot  through  my  mind,  it  was  that  evenings  like  these  came 
so  rarely  in  this  work-a-day  world  that  each  such  should 
be  looked  on  as  our  last. 

If  I  had  not  already  shown  myself  up  to  my  reader  as  a 
weathercock  of  the  first  water,  perhaps  I  should  now  hesi- 
tate about  confessing  that  I  half  regretted  the  short  space 
during  which  it  should  be  my  privilege  to  act  as  the  guide 
and  mentor  of  my  two  friends.  The  impetuous  haste  which 
I  before  felt  necessary  to  exercise  in  reaching  Paris  imme- 
diately was  now  tempered  by  prudent  thoughts  about  trav- 
elling at  night,  and  reflections  about  sun-stroke  by  day; 
and  even  moments  most  devoted  to  the  object  of  my  heart's 
aspirations  were  fettered  by  the  very  philosophic  idea  that 
it  could  never  detract  from  the  pleasure  of  the  happiness 
that  awaited  me  if  I  travelled  on  the  primrose  path  to  its 
attainment.  I  argued  thus :  if  Lady  Jane  be  true,  if  —  if, 
in  a  word,  I  am  destined  to  have  any  success  in  the  Cal- 
lonby  family,  then  will  a  day  or  two  more  not  risk  it.  My 
present  friends  I  shall,  of  course,  take  leave  of  at  Paris, 
where  their  own  acquaintances  await  them;  and,  on  the 
other  hand,  should  I  be  doomed  once  more  to  disappoint- 
ment, I  am  equally  certain  I  should  feel  no  disposition  to 
form  a  new  attachment.  Thus  did  I  reason,  and  thus  I 
believed ;  and  though  I  was  a  kind  of  "  consultation  opin- 
ion "  among  my  friends  in  "  suits  of  love, "  I  was  really  then 
unaware  that  at  no  time  is  a  man  so  prone  to  fall  in  love  as 
immediately  after  his  being  jilted.  If  common-sense  will 
teach  us  not  to  dance  a  bolero  upon  a  sprained  ankle,  so 
might  it  also  convey  the  equally  important  lesson  not  to 


276  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

expose  our  more  vital  and  inflammatory  organ  to  the  fire 
the  day  alter  its  being  singed. 

Keflections  like  these  did  not  occur  to  me  at  this  moment; 
besides  that  I  was  "  going  the  pace "  with  a  forty -horse 
power  of  agreeability  that  left  me  little  time  for  thought, 

—  least  of  all,  of  serious  thought.  So  stood  matters.  I 
had  just  filled  our  tall,  slender  glasses  with  the  creaming 
and  "sparkling"  source  of  wit  and  inspiration  when  the 
loud  crack,  crack,  crack  of  a  postilion's  whip,  accompanied 
by  the  shaking  trot  of  a  heavy  team  and  the  roll  of  wheels, 
announced  a  new  arrival. 

"Here  they  come!"  said  I.  "Only  look  at  them, — 
four  horses  and  one  postilion,  all  apparently  straggling 
and  straying  after  their  own  fancy,  but  yet  going  surpris- 
ingly straight,  notwithstanding.  See  how  they  come 
through  that  narrow  archway.  —  it  might  puzzle  the  best 
four-in-hand  in  England  to  do  it  better." 

'•  What  a  handsome  young  man,  if  he  had  not  those 
odious  mustachios!     Why,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  he  knows  you, 

—  see,  he  is  bowing  to  you." 

"Me!     Oh!  no.     Why,  surely,  it  must  be!     The  devil, 

—  it  is  Kilkee,  Lady  Jane's  brother!  I  know  his  temper 
well.  One  five  minutes'  observation  of  my  present  inti- 
macy with  my  fair  friends,  and  adieu  to  all  hopes  for  me 
of  calling  Lord  Callonby  my  father-in-law.  There  is  not, 
therefore,  a  moment  to  lose." 

As  these  thoughts  revolved  through  my  mind,  the  confu- 
sion I  felt  had  covered  my  face  with  scarlet,  and  with  a 
species  of  blundering  apology  for  abruptly  leaving  them 
for  a  moment,  I  ran  downstairs  only  in  time  sufficient  to 
anticipate  Kilkee 's  questions  as  to  the  number  of  my  apart- 
ment, to  which  he  was  desirous  of  proceeding  at  once.  Our 
first  greetings  over,  Kilkee  questioned  me  as  to  my  route, 
adding  that  his  now  was  necessarily  an  undecided  one,  for 
if  his  family  happened  not  to  be  at  Paris,  he  should  be 
obliged  to  seek  after  them  among  the  German  watering- 
places.  "In  any  case,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  "we  shall  hunt 
them  in  couples.  I  must  insist  upon  your  coming  along 
with  me." 


CALAIS.  277 

"Oh!  that,"  said  I,  "you  must  not  think  of.  Your  car- 
riage is  a  coup6,  and  I  cannot  think  of  crowding  you." 

"  Why,  you  don't  seriously  wish  to  affront  me,  I  hope ; 
for  I  flatter  myself  that  a  more  perfect  carriage  for  two 
people  cannot  be  built.  Hobson  made  it  on  a  plan  of  my 
own,  and  I  am  exceedingly  proud  of  it,  I  assure  you.  Come, 
—  that  matter  is  decided;  now  for  supper.  Are  there  many 
English  here  just  now?  By  the  by,  the  ladies  I  think  I 
saw  you  standing  with  on  the  balcony,  who  are  they?" 

"Oh!  the  ladies;  oh!  yes,  people  I  came  over  with  — " 

"One  was  pretty,  I  fancied.  Have  you  supped?  Just 
order  something,  will  you;  meanwhile,  I  shall  write  a  few 
lines  before  the  post  leaves."  Saying  which,  he  dashed 
upstairs  after  the  waiter,  and  left  me  to  my  meditations. 

"This  begins  to  be  pleasant,"  thought  I,  as  the  door 
closed,  leaving  me  alone  in  the  salon.  In  circumstances 
of  such  moment  I  had  never  felt  so  nonplussed  as  now. 
How  to  decline  Kilkee's  invitation,  without  discovering  my 
intimacy  with  the  Binghams,  —  and  yet  I  could  not,  by  any 
possibility,  desert  them  thus  abruptly.  Such  was  the 
dilemma.  -  "I  see  but  one  thing  for  it,"  said  I,  gloomily, 
as  I  strode  through  the  coffee-room  with  my  head  sunk  and 
my  hands  behind  my  back;  "I  see  but  one  thing  left,  — I 
must  be  taken  ill  to-night,  and  not  be  able  to  leave  my  bed 
in  the  morning :  a  fever,  —  a  contagious  fever ;  blue  and 
red  spots  all  over  me;  and  be  raving  wildly  before  break- 
fast-time ;  and  if  ever  any  discovery  takes  place  of  my  inti- 
macy above  stairs,  I  must  only  establish  it  as  a  premonitory 
symptom  of  insanity,  which  seized  me  in  the  packet.  And 
now  for  a  doctor  that  will  understand  my  case  and  listen 
to  reason,  as  they  would  call  it  in  Ireland."  With  this 
idea  uppermost,  I  walked  out  into  the  court-yard  to  look 
for  a  commissionnaire  to  guide  me  in  my  search.  Around 
on  every  side  of  me  stood  the  various  carriages  and  vehicles 
of  the  hotel  and  its  inmates,  to  the  full  as  distinctive  and 
peculiar  in  character  as  their  owners.  "Ah!  there  is  Kil- 
kee's," said  I,  as  my  eye  lighted  upon  the  well-balanced  and 
elegant  little  carriage  which  he  had  been  only  with  justice 


278  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

encomiumizing.  "It  is  certainly  perfect;  and  yet  I  'd  give 
a  handful  of  louis  d'or  if  it  was  like  that  venerable  cabrio- 
let yonder,  with  the  one  wheel  and  no  shafts.  But,  alas! 
those  springs  give  little  hope  of  a  break-down,  and  that 
confounded  axle  will  outlive  the  patentee.  But  still,  can 
nothing  be  done,  eh?  Come,  the  thought  is  a  good  one.  I 
say,  y  argon,  who  greases  the  wheels  of  the  carriages  here?  " 

"  C'est  moi,  monsieur,"  said  a  great  oaf  in  wooden  shoes 
and  a  blouse. 

"Well,  then,  do  you  understand  these?"  said  I,  touching 
the  patent  axle-boxes  with  my  cane. 

He  shook  his  head. 

"Then  who  does  here?" 

"Ah!  Michel  understands  them  perfectly." 

"Then  bring  him  here,"  said  I. 

In  a  few  minutes  a  little,  shrewd  old  fellow,  with  a 
smith's  apron,  made  his  appearance  and  introduced  himself 
as  M.  Michel.  I  had  not  much  difficulty  in  making  him 
master  of  my  plan,  which  was  to  detach  one  of  the  wheels, 
as  if  for  the  purpose  of  oiling  the  axle,  and  afterwards  ren- 
der it  incapable  of  being  replaced,  —  at  least  for  twenty- 
four  hours. 

"This  is  my  idea,"  said  I;  "nevertheless,  do  not  be 
influenced  by  me.  All  I  ask  is,  disable  the  carriage  from 
proceeding  to-morrow,  and  here  are  three  louis  d'or  at  your 
service." 

"  Soy  ex  hlen  fro  nouille,  monsieur;  milor  shall  spend  to- 
morrow in  Calais  if  I  know  anything  of  my  art."  Saying 
which,  he  set  out  in  search  of  his  tools,  while  I  returned 
to  the  salon  with  my  mind  relieved,  and  fully  prepared  to 
press  the  urgency  of  my  reaching  Paris  without  any  delay. 

"Well,  Lorrequer,  said  Kilkee,  as  I  entered,  "here  is 
supper  waiting,  and  I  am  as  hungry  as  a  wolf." 

"Oh!  I  beg  pardon,  I've  been  getting  everything  in 
readiness  for  our  start  to-morrow  morning;  for  I  have  not 
told  you  how  anxious  I  am  to  get  to  Paris  before  the  8th, 
—  some  family  business  which  requires  my  looking  after, 
compelling  me  to  do  so." 


CALAIS.  279 

"As  to  that,  let  your  mind  be  at  rest,  for  I  shall  travel 
to-morrow  night  if  you  prefer  it.  Now  for  the  Vohiay. 
Why,  you  are  not  drinking  your  wine.  What  do  you  say 
to  our  paying  our  respects  to  the  fair  ladies  above  stairs? 
I  am  sure  the  attentions  you  have  practised  coming  over 
would  permit  the  liberty." 

"Oh,  hang  it,  no!  There  's  neither  of  them  pretty,  and 
I  should  rather  avoid  the  risk  of  making  a  regular  acquaint- 
ance with  them,"  said  I. 

"As  you  like,  then;  only  as  you'll  not  take  any  wine, 
let  us  have  a  stroll  through  the  town." 

After  a  short  ramble  through  the  town,  in  which  Kilkee 
talked  the  entire  time,  but  of  what  I  know  not,  my  thoughts 
being  upon  my  own  immediate  concerns,  we  returned  to  the 
hotel.  As  we  entered  the  porte-cochere  my  friend  Michel 
passed  me,  and  as  he  took  off  his  hat  in  salutation,  gave 
me  one  rapid  glance  of  his  knowing  eye  that  completely 
satisfied  me  that  Hobson's  pride  in  my  friend's  carriage 
had  by  that  time  received  quite  sufficient  provocation  to 
throw  him  into  an  apoplexy. 

"By  the  by,"  said  I,  "let  us  see  your  carriage.  I  am 
curious  to  look  at  it,"  and  so  I  was. 

"  Well,  then,  come  along  this  way ;  they  have  placed  it 
under  some  of  these  sheds,  which  they  think  coach-houses." 

I  followed  my  friend  through  the  court  till  we  arrived 
near  the  fatal  spot;  but  before  reaching  it  he  caught  a 
glimpse  of  the  mischief,  and  shouted  out  a  most  awful  im- 
precation upon  the  author  of  the  deed  which  met  his  eye. 
The  fore-wheel  of  the  coupe  had  been  taken  from  the  axle, 
and  in  the  difficulty  of  so  doing,  from  the  excellence  of  the 
workmanship,  two  of  the  spokes  were  broken,  the  patent 
box  was  a  mass  of  rent  metal,  and  the  end  of  the  axle  turned 
downwards  like  a  hoe. 

I  cannot  convey  any  idea  of  poor  Kilkee's  distraction,  — 
and,  in  reality,  my  own  was  little  short  of  it ;  for  the  wretch 
had  so  far  outstripped  my  orders  that  I  became  horrified  at 
the  cruel  destruction  before  me.  We  both,  therefore, 
stormed  in  the  most  imposing  English  and  French,  first 


280  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

separately,  and  then  together.  We  offered  a  reward  for 
the  apprehension  of  the  culprit,  whom  no  one  appeared  to 
know,  —  although,  as  it  happened,  every  one  in  a  large 
household  was  aware  of  the  transaction  but  the  proprie- 
tor himself.  We  abused  all,  innkeeper,  waiters,  ostlers, 
and  chambermaids,  collectively  and  individually,  con- 
demned Calais  as  a  den  of  iniquity,  and  branded  all 
Frenchmen  as  rogues  and  vagabonds.  This  seemed  to 
alleviate  considerably  my  friend's  grief  and  excite  my 
thirst,  —  fortunately,  perhaps,  for  us ;  for  if  our  eloquence 
had  held  out  much  longer,  I  am  afraid  our  auditory  might 
have  lost  their  patience,  —  and,  indeed,  I  am  quite  certain, 
if  our  French  had  not  been  in  nearly  as  disjointed  a  condi- 
tion as  the  spokes  of  the  caleche,  such  must  have  been  the 
case. 

"Well,  Lorrequer,  I  suppose,  then,  we  are  not  destined 
to  be  fellow-travellers ;  for  if  you  must  go  to-morrow  —  " 

"Alas!  it  is  imperative,"  said  I. 

"  Then,  in  any  case,  let  us  arrange  where  we  shall  meet, 
for  I  hope  to  be  in  Paris  the  day  after  you." 

"Ill  stop  at  Meurice's." 

"Meurice's  be  it,"  said  he;  "so  now  good-night  till  we 
meet  in  Paris." 


HARRY   LORREQUER. 


CHAPTER  I. 

THE   GENDARME. 

I  had  fortunately  sufficient  influence  upon  my  fair  friends 
to  persuade  them  to  leave  Calais  early  on  the  morning  fol- 
lowing; and  two  hours  before  Kilkee  had  opened  his  eyes 
upon  this  mortal  life  we  were  far  upon  the  road  to  Paris. 

Having  thus  far  perfectly  succeeded  in  my  plot,  my  spirits 
rose  rapidly,  and  I  made  every  exertion  to  make  the  road 
appear  short  to  my  fellow-travellers.  This  part  of  France 
is  unfortunately  deficient  in  any  interest  from  scenery ; 
large  undivided  tracts  of  waving  corn-fields,  with  a  back- 
ground of  apparently  interminable  forests,  and  occasion- 
ally, but  rarely,  the  glimpse  of  some  old  time-worn  chateau, 
with  its  pointed  gable  and  terraced  walk,  are  nearly  all  that 
the  eye  can  detect  in  the  intervals  between  the  small  towns 
and  villages.  Nothing,  however,  is  "flat  or  unprofitable" 
to  those  who  desire  to  make  it  otherwise ;  good  health,  good 
spirits,  and  fine  weather  are  wonderful  travelling  compan- 
ions, and  render  one  tolerably  independent  of  the  charms 
of  scenery.  Every  mile  that  separated  me  from  Calais,  and 
took  away  the  chance  of  being  overtaken,  added  to  my  gay- 
ety,  and  I  flatter  myself  that  a  happier  party  have  rarely 
travelled  that  well-frequented  road. 

We  reached  Abbeville  to  dinner,  and  adjourned  to  the 
beautiful  little  garden  of  the  inn  for  our  coffee ;  the  even- 
ing was  so  delightful  that  I  proposed  to  walk  on  the  Paris 
road  until  the  coming  up  of  the  carriage,  which  required  a 
screw,  or  a  washer,  or  some  such  trifle,  as  always  occurs  in 

VOL.  II. —  1 


2  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

French  posting.  To  this  "mamma"  objected,  she  being 
tired;  but  added  that  Isabella  and  I  might  go  on,  and  that 
she  would  take  us  up  in  half  an  hour.  This  was  an  arrange- 
ment so  very  agreeable  and  unlooked-for  by  me  that  I 
pressed  Miss  Bingham  as  far  as  I  well  could,  and  at  last 
succeeded  in  overcoming  her  scruples  and  permitting  me  to 
shawl  her.  One  has  always  a  tremendous  power  of  per- 
suasion with  the  uninitiated  abroad,  by  a  reference  to  a 
standard  of  manners  and  habits  totally  different  from  our 
own.  Thus  the  talismanic  words,  "Oh!  don't  be  shocked; 
remember  you  are  in  France,"  did  more  to  satisfy  my  young 
friend's  mind  than  all  I  could  have  said  for  an  hour.  Lit- 
tle did  she  know  that  in  England  only  has  an  unmarried 
young  lady  any  liberty,  and  that  the  standard  of  foreign 
propriety  on  this  head  is  far,  very  far,  more  rigid  than 
our  own. 

"La premiere  rue  a  gauche,"  said  an  old  man  of  whom  I 
inquired  the  road.     " Et puis?"  added  I. 

"And  then  quite  straight;  it  is  a  chausse'e  all  the  way, 
and  you  cannot  mistake  it. " 

"Now  for  it,  mademoiselle,"  said  I.  "Let  us  try  if  we 
cannot  see  a  good  deal  of  the  country  before  the  carriage 
comes  up." 

We  had  soon  left  the  town  behind,  and  reached  a  beauti- 
fully shaded  high-road,  with  blossoming  fruit-trees  and 
honeysuckle-covered  cottages;  there  had  been  several  light 
showers  during  the  day,  and  the  air  had  all  the  fresh,  fra- 
grant feeling  of  an  autumn  evening,  so  tranquillizing  and 
calming  that  few  there  are  who  have  not  felt,  at  some  time 
or  other  of  their  lives,  its  influence  upon  their  minds.  I 
fancied  my  fair  companion  did  so,  for  as  she  walked  beside 
me,  her  silence  and  the  gentle  pressure  of  her  arm  were  far 
more  eloquent  than  words. 

If  that  extraordinary  nutter  and  flurry  of  sensations 
which  will  now  and  then  seize  you  when  walking  upon  a 
lonely  country  road  with  a  pretty  girl  for  your  companion, 
whose  arm  is  linked  in  yours,  and  whose  thoughts,  as  far 
as  you  can  guess,  at  least,  are  travelling  the  same  path  with 


THE  GENDARME.  3 

your  own,  —  if  this  be  animal  magnetism,  or  one  of  its 
phenomena,  then  do  1  swear  by  Mesmer.  Whatever  it  be, 
delusion  or  otherwise,  it  has  given  me  the  brightest  mo- 
ments of  my  life ;  these  are  the  real  "  winged  dreams  "  of 
pleasures  which  outlive  others  of  more  absorbing  and  actual 
interest  at  the  time.  After  all,  for  how  many  of  our  hap- 
piest feelings  are  we  indebted  to  the  weakness  of  our 
nature?  The  man  that  is  wise  at  nineteen,  je  lui  en  fais 
mes  compliments,  but  I  assuredly  do  not  envy  him;  and 
now,  even  now,  when  I  number  more  years  than  I  should 
like  to  "confess,"  rather  than  suffer  the  suspicious  watch- 
fulness of  age  to  creep  on  me,  I  prefer  to  "go  on  believ- 
ing," even  though  every  hour  of  the  day  should  show  me 
duped  and  deceived.  While  I  plead  guilty  to  this  impeach- 
ment, let  me  show,  in  mitigation,  that  it  has  its  enjoy- 
ments. First,  although  I  am  the  most  constant  and  devoted 
man  breathing,  as  a  very  cursory  glance  at  these  "  Confes- 
sions "  may  prove,  yet  I  have  never  been  able  to  restrain 
myself  from  a  propensity  to  make  love  merely  as  a  pastime. 
The  gambler  that  sits  down  to  play  cards  or  dice  against 
himself  may  perhaps  be  the  only  person  that  can  compre- 
hend this  tendency  of  mine.  We  both  of  us  are  playing 
for  nothing  (or  love,  which  I  suppose  is  synonymous),  we 
neither  of  us  put  forth  our  strength ;  for  that  very  reason 
—  and  in  fact,  like  the  waiter  at  Vauxhall,  who  was  com- 
plimented upon  the  dexterity  with  which  he  poured  out  the 
lemonade,  and  confessed  that  he  spent  his  mornings  "  prac- 
tising with  vater,"  —  we  pass  a  considerable  portion  of  our 
lives  in  a  mimic  warfare  which,  if  it  seem  unprofitable,  is 
nevertheless  pleasant. 

After  all  this  long  tirade,  need  I  say  how  our  walk  pro- 
ceeded? We  had  fallen  into  a  kind  of  discussion  upon  the 
singular  intimacy  which  had  so  rapidly  grown  up  between 
us,  and  which  years  long  might  have  failed  to  engender. 
We  attempted  also  to  analyze  the  reasons  for  and  the 
nature  of  the  friendship  thus  so  suddenly  established,  — a 
rather  dangerous  and  difficult  topic  when  the  parties  were 
both  young,  one  eminently  handsome,  and  the  other  dis- 


4  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

posed  to  be  most  agreeable.  Oh!  my  dear  young  friends 
of  either  sex,  whatever  your  feelings  be  for  one  another, 
keep  them  to  yourselves;  I  know  of  nothing  half  so  haz- 
ardous as  that  "comparing  of  notes"  which  sometimes 
happens.  Analysis  is  a  beautiful  thing  in  mathematics 
or  chemistry,  but  it  makes  sad  havoc  when  applied  to  the 
"  functions  of  the  heart. " 

"Mamma  appears  to  have  forgotten  us,"  said  Isabella, 
as  she  spoke,  after  walking  for  some  time  in  silence  beside 
me. 

"Oh!  depend  upon  it  the  carriage  has  taken  all  this  time 
to  repair;  but  are  you  tired?" 

"Oh!  by  no  means;  the  evening  is  delightful,  but  —  " 
"  Then  perhaps  you  are  ennuyee, "  said  I,  half  pettishly, 
to  provoke  a  disclaimer,  if  possible.     To  this  insidiously 
put  query  I  received,  as  I  deserved,  no  answer,  and  again 
we  sauntered  on  without  speaking. 

"To  whom  does  that  chateau  belong,  my  old  friend?" 
said  I,  addressing  a  man  on  the  roadside. 
"To  Monsieur  le  Marquis,  sir,"  replied  he. 
"But  what 's  his  name,  though?" 
"Ah!  that  I  can't  tell  you,"  replied  the  man,  again. 
There  you  may  perceive  how,  even  yet,   in  provincial 
France  the  old  respect  for  the  aristocracy  still  survives. 
It   is   sufficient   that  the  possessor  of  that  fine  place  is 
"  Monsieur  le  Marquis ;  "  but  any  other  knowledge  of  who 
he  is,  and  what,  is  superfluous.     "How  far  are  we  from 
the  next  village,  do  you  know?" 
"About  a  league." 

"Indeed!    Why,  I  thought  La  Scarpe  was  quite  near  us." 
"Ah!  you  are  thinking  of  the  Amiens  road." 
"Yes,  of  course;  and  is  not  this  the  Amiens  road?" 
"Oh,  no!     The  Amiens  road  lies  beyond  those  low  hills 
to  the  right.     You  pass  the  turn  at  the  first  barriere." 
"Is  it  possible  we  could  have  come  wrong?" 
"Oh!  Mr.  Lorrequer,  don't  say  so,  I  entreat  of  you." 
"And  what  road  is  this,  then,  my  friend?" 
"This  is  the  road  to  Albert  and  Peronne." 


THE  GENDAKME.  5 

"Unfortunately,  I  believe  lie  is  quite  right.  Is  there 
any  cross-road  from  the  village  before  us  now  to  the 
Amiens  road?" 

"Yes;  you  can  reach  it  about  two  leagues  hence." 

"And  we  can  get  a  carriage  at  the  inn,  probably?" 

"Ah!  that  I  am  not  sure  of.  Perhaps  at  the  Lion  d'Or 
you  may." 

"But  why  not  go  back  to  Abbeville?" 

"Oh!  Mrs.  Bingham  must  have  left  long  since,  and 
besides,  you  forget  the  distance;  we  have  been  walking 
two  hours." 

"Now  for  the  village,"  said  I  as  I  drew  my  friend's 
arm  closer  within  mine,  and  we  set  out  in  a  fast  walk. 

Isabella  seemed  terribly  frightened  at  the  whole  affair; 
what  her  mamma  might  think,  and  what  might  be  her 
fears  at  not  finding  us  on  the  road,  and  a  hundred  other 
encouraging  reflections  of  this  nature,  she  poured  forth 
unceasingly.  As  for  myself,  I  did  not  know  well  what  to 
think  of  it,  my  old  fondness  ever  for  adventure  being  suffi- 
ciently strong  in  me  to  give  a  relish  to  anything  which  bore 
the  least  resemblance  to  one.  This  I  now  concealed,  and 
sympathized  with  my  fair  friend  upon  our  mishap,  assuring 
her  at  the  same  time  that  there  could  be  no  doubt  of  our 
overtaking  Mrs.  Bingham  before  her  arrival  at  Amiens. 

"  Ah !  there  is  the  village  in  the  valley ;  how  beautifully 
situated ! " 

"Oh!  I  can't  admire  anything  now,  Mr.  Lorrequer;  I 
am  so  frightened." 

"But  surely  without  cause,"  said  I,  looking  tenderly 
beneath  her  bonnet. 

"Is  this,"  she  answered,  "nothing?"  And  we  walked 
on  in  silence  again. 

On  reaching  the  Lion  d'Or  we  discovered  that  the  only 
conveyance  to  be  had  was  a  species  of  open  market-cart 
drawn  by  two  horses,  and  in  which  it  was  necessary  that 
my  fair  friend  and  myself  should  seat  ourselves  side  by 
side  upon  straw.  There  was  no  choice;  and  as  for  Miss 
Bingham,  I  believe  if  an  ass  with  panniers  had  presented 


6  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

itself,  she  would  have  preferred  it  to  remaining  where  she 
was.  We  therefore  took  our  places,  and  she  could  not 
refrain  from  laughing  as  we  set  out  upon  our  journey  in 
this  absurd  equipage,  every  jolt  of  which  threw  us  from 
side  to  side,  and  rendered  every  attention  on  my  part 
requisite  to  prevent  her  being  upset. 

After  about  two  hours'  travelling  we  arrived  at  the 
Amiens  road  and  stopped  at  the  burr  tern.  I  immediately 
inquired  if  a  carriage  had  passed  resembling  Mrs.  Bing- 
ham's, and  learned  that  it  had,  about  an  hour  before,  and 
that  the  lady  in  it  had  been  informed  that  two  person:;, 
like  those  she  asked  after,  had  been  seen  in  a  caliche  driv- 
ing rapidly  to  Amiens,  upon  which  she  set  out  as  fast  as 
possible  in  pursuit. 

"Certainly,"  said  I,  "the  plot  is  thickening;  but  for 
that  unlucky  mistake,  she  might  in  all  probability  have 
waited  here  for  us.  Amiens  is  only  two  leagues  now,  so 
our  drive  will  not  be  long,  and  before  six  o'clock  we  shall 
all  be  laughing  over  the  matter  as  a  very  good  joke." 

On  we  rattled,  and  as  the  road  became  less  frequented, 
and  the  shadows  lengthened,  I  could  not  but  wonder  at  the 
strange  situations  which  the  adventurous  character  of  my 
life  had  so  often  involved  me  in.  Meanwhile,  my  fair 
friend's  spirits  became  more  and  more  depressed,  and  it 
was  not  without  the  greatest  difficulty  I  was  enabled  to 
support  her  courage.  I  assured  her,  and  not  altogether 
without  reason,  that  though  so  often  in  my  eventful  career 
accidents  were  occurring  which  rendered  it  dubious  and 
difficult  to  reach  the  goal  I  aimed  at,  yet  the  results  had  so 
often  been  more  pleasant  than  I  could  have  anticipated, 
that  I  always  felt  a  kind  of  involuntary  satisfaction  at  some 
apparent  obstacle  to  my  path,  setting  it  down  as  some  espe- 
cial means  of  fortune,  to  heighten  the  pleasure  awaiting 
me;  "And  now,"  added  I,  "even  here,  perhaps,  in  this  very 
mistake  of  our  road,  the  sentiments  I  have  heard,  the  feel- 
ings I  have  given  utterance  to  —  "  What  I  was  about  to 
say,  Heaven  knows,  —  perhaps  nothing  less  than  a  down- 
right proposal  was  coming;  but  at  that  critical  moment  a 


THE   GENDAKME.  7 

gendarme  rode  up  to  the  side  of  our  wagon  and  surveyed  us 
with  the  peculiarly  significant  scowl  his  order  is  gifted 
with.  After  trotting  alongside  for  a  few  seconds  he  ordered 
the  driver  to  halt,  and,  turning  abruptly  to  us,  demanded 
our  passports.  Now,  our  passports  were  at  that  precise 
moment  peaceably  reposing  in  the  side-pocket  of  Mrs. 
Bingham's  carriage;  I,  therefore,  explained  to  the  gen- 
darme how  we  were  circumstanced,  and  added  that  on 
arriving  at  Amiens  the  passports  should  be  produced.  To 
this  he  replied  that  all  might  be  perfectly  true,  but  he  did 
not  believe  a  word  of  it;  that  he  had  received  an  order  for 
the  apprehension  of  two  English  persons  travelling  that 
road;  and  that  he  should  accordingly  request  our  company 
back  to  Chantraine,  the  commissaire  of  which  place  was 
his  officer. 

"But  why  not  take  us  to  Amiens?"  said  I;  "particu- 
larly when  I  tell  you  that  we  can  there  show  our  passports." 

"I  belong  to  the  Chantraine  district,"  was  the  laconic 
answer;  and  like  the  gentleman  who  could  not  weep  at  the 
sermon  because  he  belonged  to  another  parish,  this  speci- 
men of  a  French  Dogberry  would  not  hear  reason  except  in 
his  own  district. 

No  arguments  which  I  could  think  of  had  any  effect  upon 
him,  and  amid  a  volley  of  entreaty  and  imprecation,  both 
equally  vain,  we  saw  ourselves  turn  back  upon  the  road  to 
Amiens,  and  set  out  at  a  round  trot  to  Chantraine,  on  the 
road  to  Calais. 

Poor  Isabella,  I  really  pitied  her !  Hitherto  her  courage 
had  been  principally  sustained  by  the  prospect  of  soon 
reaching  Amiens;  now  there  was  no  seeing  where  our 
adventure  was  to  end.  Besides  that,  actual  fatigue  from 
the  wretched  conveyance  began  to  distress  her,  and  she  was 
scarcely  able  to  support  herself,  though  assisted  by  my 
arm.  What  a  perilous  position  mine,  —  whispering  con- 
solation and  comfort  to  a  pretty  girl  on  a  lonely  road,  the 
only  person  near  being  one  who  comprehended  nothing  of 
the  language  we  spoke  in!  Ah,  how  little  do  we  know  of 
fate,  and  how  often  do  we  despise  circumstances  that  deter- 


8  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

mine  all  our  fortunes  in  the  world!  To  think  that  a  gen- 
darme should  have  anything  to  do  with  my  future  lot  in 
life,  and  that  the  real  want  of  a  passport  to  travel  should 
involve  the  probable  want  of  a  license  to  marry.  "Yes, 
it  is  quite  in  keeping,"  thought  I,  "with  every  step  I  have 
taken  through  life.  I  may  be  brought  before  the  maire  as 
a  culprit,  and  leave  him  as  a  Benedict." 

On  reaching  the  town,  we  were  not  permitted  to  drive  to 
the  inn,  but  at  once  conveyed  to  the  house  of  the  commis- 
saire,  who  was  also  the  maire  of  the  district.  The 
worthy  functionary  was  long  since  in  bed,  and  it  was  only 
after  ringing  violently  for  half  an  hour  that  a  head,  sur- 
mounted with  a  dirty  cotton  nightcap,  peeped  from  an 
upper  window,  and  seemed  to  survey  the  assemblage  be- 
neath with  patient  attention.  By  this  time  a  considerable 
crowd  had  collected  from  the  neighboring  ale-houses  and 
cabarets,  who  deemed  it  a  most  fitting  occasion  to  honor  us 
with  the  most  infernal  yells  and  shouts,  as  indicating  their 
love  of  justice  and  delight  in  detecting  knavery;  and  that 
we  were  both  involved  in  such  suspicion  we  had  not  long 
to  learn.  Meanwhile,  the  poor  old  maire,  who  had  been  an 
employe"  in  the  stormy  days  of  the  Revolution  and  also 
under  Napoleon,  and  who  fully  concurred  with  Swift  that 
"a  crowd  is  a  mob,  if  composed  even  of  bishops,"  firmly 
believing  that  the  uproar  beneath  in  the  street  was  the 
announcement  of  a  new  change  of  affairs  at  Paris,  deter- 
mined to  be  early  in  the  field,  and  shouted,  therefore,  with 
all  his  lungs:  "  Vive  la  nation I  Vive  la  charte !  Abasles 
autres  /"  A  tremendous  shout  of  laughter  saluted  this 
exhibition  of  unexpected  republicanism,  and  the  poor 
maire  retired  from  the  window,  having  learned  his  mistake, 
covered  with  shame  and  confusion. 

Before  the  mirth  caused  by  this  blunder  had  subsided, 
the  door  had  opened,  and  we  were  ushered  into  the  bureau, 
accompanied  by  the  anxious  crowd,  all  curious  to  know  the 
particulars  of  our  crime. 

The  maire  soon  appeared,  his  nightcap  being  replaced  by 
a  small  black-velvet  skull-cap,  and  his  lanky  figure  envel- 


THE   GENDARME.  i> 

oped  in  a  tarnished  silk  dressing-gown;  he  permitted  us  to 
be  seated  while  the  gendarme  recounted  the  suspicious  cir- 
cumstances of  our  travelling,  and  produced  the  order  to 
arrest  an  Englishman  and  his  wife  who  had  arrived  in  one 
of  the  late  Boulogne  packets,  and  who  had  carried  off  from 
some  banking-house  money  and  bills  to  a  large  amount. 

"I  have  no  doubt  these  are  the  people,"  said  the  gen- 
darme ;  "  and  here  is  the  carte  descriptive.  Let  us  compare 
it:  '  Forty-two  or  forty-three  years  of  age.'" 

"I  trust,  Monsieur  le  Maire,"  said  I,  overhearing  this, 
"that  ladies  do  not  recognize  me  as  so  much." 

"'Of  a  pale  and  cadaverous  aspect, ' "  continued  the 
gendarme. 

"Civil  and  complimentary,  certainly,"  added  I. 

"'  Squints  much  with  the  left  eye.'  Look  at  Monsieur 
le  Maire,  if  you  please,  sir,"  said  the  gendarme. 

Upon  this  the  old  functionary,  wiping  his  spectacles 
with  a  snuffy  handkerchief,  as  if  preparing  them  to  exam- 
ine an  eclipse  of  the  sun,  regarded  me  fixedly  for  several 
minutes,  and  said,  "Oh,  yes,  I  perceive  it  plainly;  con- 
tinue the  description." 

" '  Five  feet  three  inches, '  "  said  the  gendarme. 

"Six  feet  one  in  England,  whatever  this  climate  may 
have  done  since." 

" '  Speaks  broken  and  bad  French. '  " 

"Like  a  native,"  said  I,  — "at  least,  so  said  my  friends 
in  the  Chaussee  d'Antin  in  the  year  fifteen." 

Here  the  catalogue  ended,  and  a  short  conference  between 
the  maire  and  the  gendarme  ensued,  which  ended  in  our 
being  committed  for  examination  on  the  morrow;  mean- 
while, we  were  to  remain  at  the  inn  under  the  surveillance 
of  the  gendarme. 

On  reaching  the  inn  my  poor  friend  was  so  completely 
exhausted  that  she  at  once  retired  to  her  room,  and  I  pro- 
ceeded to  fulfil  a  promise  I  had  made  her  to  despatch  a 
note  to  Mrs.  Bingham  at  Amiens  by  a  special  messenger, 
acquainting  her  with  all  our  mishaps  and  requesting  her  to 
come  or  send  to  our  assistance.     This  done,  and  a  good 


10  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

supper  smoking  before  me,  of  which,  with  difficulty,  I  per- 
suaded Isabella  to  partake  in  her  own  room,  I  again 
regained  my  equanimity,  and  felt  once  more  at  ease. 

The  gendarme  in  whose  guardianship  I  had  been  left 
was  a  fine  specimen  of  his  caste,  — a  large  and  powerfully 
built  man  of  about  fifty,  with  an  enormous  beard  of  grizzly 
brown  and  gray  hair,  meeting  above  and  beneath  his  nether 
lip;  his  eyebrows  were  heavy  and  beetling,  and  nearly  con- 
cealed his  sharp  gray  eyes,  while  a  deep  sabre-wound  had 
left  upon  his  cheek  a  long  white  scar,  giving  a  most  war- 
like and  ferocious  look  to  his  features. 

As  he  sat  apart  from  me  for  some  time,  silent  and 
motionless,  I  could  not  help  imagining  in  how  many  a 
hard-fought  day  he  had  borne  a  part,  for  he  evidently, 
from  his  age  and  bearing,  had  been  one  of  the  soldiers  of 
the  Empire.  I  invited  him  to  partake  of  my  bottle  of 
Medoc,  by  which  he  seemed  flattered.  When  the  flask 
became  low,  and  was  replaced  by  another,  he  appeared  to 
have  lost  much  of  his  constrained  air,  and  seemed  forget- 
ting rapidly  the  suspicious  circumstances  which  he  sup- 
posed attached  to  me,  waxed  wondrous  confidential  and 
communicative,  condescending  to  impart  some  traits  of  a 
life  which  was  not  without  its  vicissitudes,  for  he  had 
been,  as  I  suspected,  one  of  the  "  Garde, "  —  the  old  Garde, 
—  was  wounded  at  Marengo,  and  received  his  decoration  on 
the  field  of  Wagram  from  the  hands  of  the  Emperor  him- 
self. The  headlong  enthusiasm  of  attachment  to  Napoleon 
which  his  brief  and  stormy  career  elicited,  even  from  those 
who  suffered  long  and  deeply  in  his  behalf,  is  not  one  of 
the  least  singular  circumstances  which  this  portion  of  his- 
tory displays.  While  the  rigors  of  the  conscription  had 
invaded  every  family  in  France,  from  Normandy  to  La 
Vendee;  while  the  unfilled  fields,  the  ruined  granaries,  the 
half-deserted  villages,  all  attested  the  depopulation  of  the 
land,  — those  talismanic  words,  VEmpereur  et  la  Gloire,  by 
some  magic  mechanism  seemed  all-sufficient,  not  only  to 
repress  regret  and  suffering,  but  even  stimulate  pride  and 
nourish  valor;  and  even  yet,  when  it  might  be  supposed 


THE  GENDARME.  11 

that,  like  the  brilliant  spectacle  of  a  magic  lantern,  the 
gaudy  pageant  had  passed  away,  leaving  only  the  darkness 
and  desolation  behind  it,  the  memory  of  those  days  under 
the  Empire  survives  untarnished  and  unimpaired,  and 
every  sacrifice  of  friends  or  fortune  is  accounted  but  little 
in  the  balance  when  the  honor  of  la  belle  France  and  the 
triumphs  of  the  grande  armee  are  weighed  against  them. 
The  infatuated  and  enthusiastic  followers  of  this  great  man 
would  seem,  in  some  respects,  to  resemble  the  drunkard  in 
the  vaudeville,  who  alleged  as  his  excuse  for  drinking,  that 
whenever  he  was  sober,  his  poverty  disgusted  him.  "My 
cabin,"  said  he,  "is  a  cell,  my  wife  a  mass  of  old  rags,  my 
child  a  wretched  object  of  misery  and  malady.  But  give 
me  brandy,  let  me  only  have  that,  and  then  my  hut  is  a 
palace,  my  wife  is  a  princess,  and  my  child  the  very  picture 
of  health  and  happiness."  So  with  these  people,  — intoxi- 
cated with  the  triumphs  of  their  nation,  tete  montee  with 
victory,  they  cannot  exist  in  the  horror  of  sobriety  which 
peace  necessarily  enforces ;  and  whenever  the  subject  turns 
in  conversation  upon  the  distresses  of  the  time  or  the  evil 
prospects  of  the  country,  they  call  out,  not,  like  the  drunk- 
ard, for  brandy,  but  in  the  same  spirit  they  say,  "  Ah,  if 
you  would  again  see  France  flourishing  and  happy,  let  us 
once  more  have  our  croix  d'honneur,  our  epaulets,  our  vol- 
untary contributions,  our  Murillos,  our  Velasquez,  our 
spoils  from  Venice,  and  our  increased  territories  to  rule 
over."  This  is  the  language  of  the  Bonapartist  everywhere 
and  at  all  seasons ;  and  the  mass  of  the  nation  is  wonder- 
fully disposed  to  participate  in  the  sentiment.  The  Empire 
was  the  "iEneid"  of  the  nation,  and  Napoleon  the  only 
hero  they  could  believe  in.  You  may  satisfy  yourself  of 
this  easily.  Every  cafe  will  give  evidence  of  it,  every 
society  bears  testimony  to  it,  and  even  the  most  wretched 
vaudeville,  however  trivial  the  interest,  however  meagre 
the  story  and  poor  the  diction,  let  the  Emperor  but  have 
his  role,  let  him  be  as  laconic  as  possible,  carry  his  hands 
behind  his  back,  wear  the  well-known  low  cocked  hat  and 
the  redingote  grise,  the  success  is  certain,  every  sentence  he 


12  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

utters  is  applauded,  and  not  a  single  allusion  to  the  Pyra- 
mids, the  sun  of  Austerlitz,  la  gloire,  et  la  Vieille  Garde, 
but  is  sure  to  bring  down  thunders  of  acclamation.  But  I 
am  forgetting  myself,  and  perhaps  my  reader  too;  the  con- 
versation of  the  old  gendarme  accidentally  led  me  into 
reflections  like  these,  and  he  was  well  calculated  in  many 
ways  to  call  them  forth.  His  devoted  attachment,  his  per- 
sonal love  of  the  Emperor,  of  which  he  gave  me  some  touch- 
ing instances,  was  admirably  illustrated  by  an  incident 
which  I  am  inclined  to  tell,  and  hope  it  may  amuse  the 
reader  as  much  as  it  did  myself  on  hearing  it. 

When  Napoleon  had  taken  possession  of  the  papal 
dominions,  as  he  virtually  did,  and  carried  off  the  pope, 
Pius  VI.,  to  Paris,  this  old  soldier,  then  a  musketeer  in 
the  Garde,  formed  part  of  the  company  that  mounted  guard 
over  the  holy  father.  During  the  earlier  months  of  the 
holy  father's  confinement  he  was  at  liberty  to  leave  his 
apartments  at  any  hour  he  pleased,  and  cross  the  court- 
yard of  the  palace  to  the  chapel  where  he  performed  mass. 
At  such  moments  the  portion  of  the  Imperial  Guard  then 
on  duty  stood  under  arms,  and  received  from  the  august 
hand  of  the  pope  his  benediction  as  he  passed.  But  one 
morning  a  hasty  express  arrived  from  the  Tuileries,  and 
the  officer  on  duty  communicated  his  instructions  to  his 
party  that  the  apostolic  vicar  was  not  to  be  permitted  to 
pass,  as  heretofore,  to  the  chapel,  and  that  a  most  rigid 
superintendence  was  to  be  exercised  over  his  movements. 
My  poor  companion  had  his  turn  for  duty  on  that  ill-starred 
day ;  he  had  not  been  long  at  his  post  when  the  sound  of 
footsteps  was  heard  approaching,  and  he  soon  saw  the  pro- 
cession, which  always  attended  the  holy  father  to  his 
devotions,  advancing  towards  him.  He  immediately  placed 
himself  across  the  passage,  and  with  his  musket  in  rest, 
barred  the  exit,  declaring  at  the  same  time  that  such  were 
his  orders.  In  vain  the  priests  who  formed  the  cortege 
addressed  themselves  to  his  heart  and  spoke  to  his  feel- 
ings, and  at  last,  finding  little  success  by  these  methods, 
explained  to  him  the  mortal  sin  and  crime,  for  which  eter- 


THE  GENDARME.  13 

nal  damnation  itself  might  not  be  a  too  heavy  retribution, 
if  he  persisted  in  preventing  his  Holiness  to  pass,  and  thus 
be  the  means  of  opposing  an  obstacle  to  the  head  of  the 
whole  Catholic  Church  from  celebrating  the  mass.  The 
soldier  remained  firm  and  unmoved,  the  only  answer  he  re- 
turned being  that  he  had  his  orders,  and  dared  not  disobey 
them.  The  pope,  however,  persisted  in  his  resolution,  and 
endeavored  to  get  by,  when  the  hardy  veteran  retreated 
a  step,  and  placing  his  musket  and  bayonet  at  the  charge, 
called  out,  "Au  nom  de  V  Empereur,"  when  the  pious  party 
at  last  yielded,  and  slowly  retired  within  the  palace. 

Not  many  days  after,  this  severe  restriction  was  recalled, 
and  once  more  the  father  was  permitted  to  go  to  and  from 
the  chapel  of  the  palace  at  such  times  as  he  pleased,  and 
again,  as  before,  in  passing  the  corridor,  the  guards  pre- 
sented arms  and  received  the  holy  benediction,  —  all  except 
one;  upon  him  the  head  of  the  Church  frowned  severely 
and  turned  his  back,  while  extending  his  pious  hands 
towards  the  others.  "And  yet,"  said  the  poor  fellow,  in 
concluding  his  story,  —  "  and  yet  I  could  not  have  done 
otherwise.  I  had  my  orders,  and  must  have  followed 
them ;  and  had  the  Emperor  commanded  it,  I  should  have 
run  my  bayonet  through  the  body  of  the  holy  father 
himself. 

"Thus  you  see,  my  dear  sir,  how  I  have  loved  the 
Emperor,  for  I  have  many  a  day  stood  under  fire  for  him 
in  this  world,  et  il  faut  que  j'aime  encore  au  feu  pour  lui 
apres  ma  mort." 

He  received  in  good  part  the  consolations  I  offered  him 
on  this  head;  but  I  plainly  saw  they  did  not,  could  not, 
relieve  his  mind  from  the  horrible  conviction  he  lay  under, 
—  that  his  soul's  safety  forever  had  been  bartered  for  his 
attachment  to  the  Emperor. 

This  story  had  brought  us  to  the  end  of  the  third  bottle 
of  Medoc;  and  as  I  was  neither  the  pope,  nor  had  any  very 
decided  intentions  of  saying  mass,  he  offered  no  obstacle  to 
my  retiring  for  the  night  and  betaking  myself  to  my  bed, 


CHAPTER  II. 

THE   INN   AT    CHANTKAINE. 

When  contrasted  with  the  comforts  of  an  English  bed- 
room in  a  good  hotel,  how  miserably  short  does  the  appear- 
ance of  a  French  one  fall  in  the  estimation  of  the  tired 
traveller!  In  exchange  for  the  carpeted  floor,  the  well- 
curtained  windows,  the  richly-tapestried  bed,  the  well- 
cushioned  armchair,  and  the  innumerable  other  luxuries 
which  await  him,  he  has  nought  but  a  narrow,  uncurtained 
bed,  a  bare  floor  (occasionally  a  flagged  one),  three  hard 
cane-bottomed  chairs,  and  a  looking-glass  which  may  con- 
vey an  idea  of  how  you  would  look  under  the  combined 
influence  of  the  cholera  and  a  stroke  of  apoplexy,  one  half 
of  your  face  being  twice  the  length  of  the  other,  and  the 
entire  of  it  of  a  bluish-green  tint,  — pretty  enough  in  one 
of  Turner's  landscapes,  but  not  at  all  becoming  when  ap- 
plied to  the  "human  face  divine."  Let  no  late  arrival 
from  the  Continent  contradict  me  here  by  his  late  experi- 
ences, which  a  stray  twenty  pounds  and  the  railroads  (con- 
found them  for  the  same !)  have  enabled  him  to  acquire.  I 
speak  of  matters  before  it  occurred  to  all  Charing  Cross 
and  Cheapside  to  "take  the  water"  between  Dover  and 
Calais,  and  inundate  the  world  with  the  wit  of  the  Cider 
Cellars  and  the  Hole  in  the  Wall.  No!  In  the  days  I 
write  of,  the  travelled  were  of  another  genus,  and  you 
might  dine  at  Very's,  or  have  your  box  at  Les  Italiens, 
without  being  dunned  by  your  tailor  at  the  one,  or  con- 
fronted with  your  washerwoman  at  the  other.  Perhaps  I 
have  written  all  this  in  the  spite  and  malice  of  a  man  who 
feels  that  his  sovereign  only  goes  half  as  far  now  as  here- 
tofore, and  attributes  all  his  diminished  enjoyments  and 
restricted  luxuries  to  the  unceasing  current  of  his  country- 


THE  INN  AT  CHANTRAINE.  15 

men,  whom  fate  and  the  law  of  imprisonment  for  debt 
impel  hither.  Whether  I  am  so  far  guilty  or  not,  is  not 
now  the  question;  suffice  it  to  say  that  Harry  Lorrequer, 
for  reasons  best  known  to  himself,  lives  abroad,  where  he 
will  be  most  happy  to  see  any  of  his  old  and  former  friends 
who  take  his  quarters  en  route  ;  and  in  the  words  of  a  belli- 
cose brother  of  the  pen,  but  in  a  far  different  spirit,  he 
would  add  "  that  any  person  who  feels  himself  here  alluded 
to  may  learn  the  author's  address  at  his  publisher's." 
"Now  let  us  go  back  to  our  muttons,"  as  Barney  Coyle 
used  to  say  in  the  Dublin  Library  formerly,  —  for  Barney 
was  fond  of  French  allusions,  which  occasionally,  too,  he 
gave  in  their  own  tongue ;  as  once  describing  an  interview 
with  Lord  Cloncurry,  in  which  he  broke  off  suddenly  the 
conference,  adding,  "I  told  him  I  never  could  consent  to 
such  a  proposition,  and  putting  my  chateau  (chajjeau)  on 
my  head,  I  left  the  house  at  once." 

It  was  nearly  three  o'clock  in  the  morning  as,  accom- 
panied by  the  waiter,  who,  like  others  of  his  tribe,  had 
become  a  kind  of  somnambulist  ex  officio,  I  wended  my 
way  up  one  flight  of  stairs,  and  down  another,  along  a  nar- 
row corridor,  down  two  steps,  through  an  ante-chamber, 
and  into  another  corridor  to  No.  82,  my  habitation  for  the 
night.  Why  I  should  have  been  so  far  conducted  from  the 
habitable  portion  of  the  house  I  had  spent  my  evening  in, 
I  leave  the  learned  in  such  matters  to  explain;  as  for  me, 
I  have  ever  remarked  it,  while  asking  for  a  chamber  in  a 
large,  roomy  hotel,  the  singular  pride  with  which  you  are 
ushered  up  grand  staircases,  down  passages,  through  corri- 
dors, and  up  narrow  back  flights  till  the  blue  sky  is  seen 
through  the  skylight,  to  No.  199,  "the  only  spare  bedroom 
in  the  house, "  while  the  silence  and  desolation  of  the  whole 
establishment  would  seem  to  imply  far  otherwise,  —  the 
only  evidence  of  occupation  being  a  pair  of  dirty  Welling- 
tons at  the  door  of  No.  7. 

"Well,  we  have  arrived  at  last,"  said  I,  drawing  a  deep 
sigh  as  I  threw  myself  upon  a  rickety  chair  and  surveyed 
rapidly  my  meagre-looking  apartment. 


16  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Yes,  this  is  Monsieur's  chamber,"  said  the  waiter,  with 
a  very  peculiar  look,  half  servile,  half  droll.  "Madame 
couche  No.  28." 

"Very  well,  good  night!"  said  I,  closing  the  door  has- 
tily, and  not  liking  the  further  scrutiny  of  the  fellow's  eye 
as  he  fastened  it  on  me,  as  if  to  search  what  precise  degree 
of  relationship  existed  between  myself  and  my  fair  friend, 
whom  he  had  called  "  madame  "  purposely  to  elicit  an  ob- 
servation from  me.  "Ten  to  one,  though,"  said  I,  as  I 
undressed  myself,  "  but  they  think  she  is  my  wife.  How 
good!  But  again —  Ay,  it  is  very  possible,  considering 
we  are  in  France.  Num&ro  vingt-huit,  —  tpiite  far  enough 
from  this  part  of  the  house,  I  should  suppose,  from  my 
number.  That  old  gendarme  was  a  fine  fellow.  What 
strong  attachment  to  Napoleon !  and  the  story  of  the  pope, 
—  I  hope  I  may  remember  that.  Isabella,  poor  girl,  this 
adventure  must  really  distress  her,  —  hope  she  is  not  cry- 
ing over  it.  What  a  devil  of  a  hard  bed!  —  and  it  is  not 
five  feet  long,  too.  And  bless  my  soul,  is  this  all  by  way 
of  covering?  Why,  I  shall  be  perished  here!  Oh!  I  must 
certainly  put  all  my  clothes  over  me  in  addition;  unfortu- 
nately there  is  no  hearth-rug.  Well,  there  is  no  help  for 
it  now,  so  let  me  try  to  sleep,  — numero  vingt-huit." 

How  long  I  remained  in  a  kind  of  uneasy,  fitful  slumber, 
I  cannot  tell;  but  I  awoke  shivering  with  cold,  puzzled  to 
tell  where  I  was,  and  my  brain  addled  with  the  broken 
fragments  of  half-a-dozen  dreams,  all  mingling  and  mixing 
themselves  with  the  unpleasant  realities  of  my  situation. 
"What  an  infernal  contrivance  for  a  bed,"  thought  I,  as  my 
head  came  thump  against  the  top,  while  my  legs  projected 
far  beyond  the  foot-rail,  the  miserable  portion  of  cdothing 
over  me  at  the  same  time  being  only  sufficient  to  temper 
the  night  air,  which  in  autumn  is  occasionally  severe  and 
cutting.  "  This  will  never  do.  I  must  ring  the  bell  and 
rouse  the  house,  if  only  to  get  a  fire,  if  they  don't  possess 
such  a  thing  as  blankets."  I  immediately  rose,  and  grop- 
ing my  way  along  the  wall,  endeavored  to  discover  the  bell, 
but  in  vain;  and  for  the  same  satisfactory  reason  that  Von 


THE   INN   AT  CIIANTRAINE.  17 

Troil  did  not  devote  one  chapter  of  his  work  on  Iceland  to 
"  snakes, "  —  because  there  were  none  such  there.  What  was 
now  to  be  done?  About  the  geography  of  my  present  abode 
I  knew,  perhaps,  as  much  as  the  public  at  large  know  about 
the  Coppermine  Biver  and  Behring's  Straits.  The  world, 
it  was  true,  was  before  me,  "where  to  choose,"  —  admirable 
things  for  an  epic,  but  decidedly  an  unfortunate  circum- 
stance for  a  very  cold  gentleman  in  search  of  a  blanket. 
Thus  thinking,  I  opened  the  door  of  my  chamber,  and  not  in 
any  way  resolved  how  I  should  proceed,  I  stepped  forth 
into  the  long  corridor,  which  was  dark  as  midnight  itself. 

Tracing  my  path  along  the  wall,  I  soon  reached  a  door, 
which  I  in  vain  attempted  to  open;  in  another  moment  I 
found  another  and  another,  each  of  which  was  locked. 
Thus  along  the  entire  corridor  I  felt  my  way,  making  every 
effort  to  discover  where  any  of  the  people  of  the  house 
might  have  concealed  themselves,  but  without  success. 
What  was  to  be  done  now?  It  was  of  no  use  to  go  back 
to  my  late  abode,  and  find  it  comfortless  as  I  left  it,  so  I 
resolved  to  proceed  in  my  search;  by  this  time  I  had 
arrived  at  the  top  of  a  small  flight  of  stairs  which  I 
remembered  having  come  up,  and  which  led  to  another 
long  passage  similar  to  the  one  I  had  explored,  but  running 
in  a  transverse  direction ;  down  this  I  now  crept  and  reached 
the  landing,  along  the  wall  of  which  I  was  guided  by  my 
hand,  as  well  for  safety  as  to  discover  the  architrave  of 
some  friendly  door  where  the  inhabitant  might  be  suffi- 
ciently Samaritan  to  lend  some  portion  of  his  bedclothes. 
Door  after  door  followed  in  succession  along  this  con- 
founded passage,  which  I  began  to  think  as  long  as  the 
gallery  of  the  lower  one ;  at  last,  however,  just  as  my  heart 
was  sinking  within  me  from  disappointment,  the  handle  of 
a  lock  turned,  and  I  found  myself  inside  a  chamber.  How 
was  I  now  to  proceed?  For  if  this  apartment  did  not  con- 
tain any  of  the  people  of  the  hotel,  I  had  but  a  sorry  ex- 
cuse for  disturbing  the  repose  of  any  traveller  who  might 
have  been  more  fortunate  than  myself  in  the  article  of 
blankets.    To  go  back,  however,  would  be  absurd,  having 

TOL.  II.  —  2 


18  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

already  taken  so  much  trouble  to  find  out  a  room  that  was 
inhabited,  —  for  that  such  was  the  case,  a  short,  thick 
snore  assured  me,  —  so  that  my  resolve  was  at  once  made 
to  waken  the  sleeper  and  endeavor  to  interest  him  in  my 
destitute  situation.  I  accordingly  approached  the  place 
where  the  nasal  sounds  seemed  to  issue  from,  and  soon 
reached  the  post  of  a  bed.  I  waited  for  an  instant,  and 
then  began,  — 

"Monsieur,  voulez-vous  Men  me permettre  —  " 

"As  to  short  whist,  I  never  could  make  it  out,  so  there 
is  an  end  of  it, "  said  my  unknown  friend,  in  a  low,  husky 
voice,  which,  strangely  enough,  was  not  totally  unfamiliar 
to  me ;  but  when  or  how  I  had  heard  it  before  I  could  not 
then  think. 

"Well,"  thought  I,  "he  is  an  Englishman,  at  all  events, 
so  I  hope  his  patriotism  may  forgive  my  intrusion;  so  here 
goes  once  more  to  rouse  him,  though  he  seems  a  confound- 
edly heavy  sleeper.  —  I  beg  your  pardon,  sir,  but  unfortu- 
nately, in  a  point  like  the  present,  perhaps  —  " 

"Well,  do  you  mark  the  points,  and  I  '11  score  the  rub- 
ber," said  he. 

"The  devil  take  the  gambling  fellow's  dreaming!" 
thought  I,  raising  my  voice  at  the  same  time.  "  Perhaps 
a  cold  night,  sir,  may  suffice  as  my  apology." 

"Cold?  Oh,  ay!  put  a  hot  poker  in  it,"  muttered  he; 
"a  hot  poker,  a  little  sugar,  and  a  spice  of  nutmeg, — 
nothing  else,  — then  it's  delicious." 

"  Upon  my  soul,  this  is  too  bad, "  said  I  to  myself.  "  Let 
us  see  what  shaking  will  do.  —  Sir,  sir,  I  shall  feel  obliged 
by-" 

"Well,  then,  don't  shake  me,  and  I'll  tell  you  where  I 
hid  the  cigars,  —  they  are  under  my  straw  hat  in  the 
window." 

"Well,  really,"  thought  I,  "if  this  gentleman's  confes- 
sions were  of  an  interesting  nature,  this  might  be  good 
fun;  but  as  the  night  is  cold,  I  must  shorten  the  seance,  so 
here  goes  for  one  effort  more.  —  If,  sir,  you  could  kindly 
spare  me  even  a  small  portion  of  your  bed-clothes  — > " 


THE  INN  AT  CHANTRAINE.  19 

"No,  thank  you,  no  more  wine,  but  I  '11  sing  with  pleas- 
ure;" and  here  the  wretch,  in  something  like  the  voice  of 
a  frog  with  the  quinsy,  began:  "'  I  'd  mourn  the  hopes  that 
leave  me.' " 

"You  shall  mourn  something  else  for  the  same  reason," 
said  I,  as,  losing  all  patience,  I  seized  quilt  and  blankets 
by  the  corner,  and  with  one  vigorous  pull  wrenched  them 
from  the  bed  and  darted  from  the  room.  In  a  second  I 
was  in  the  corridor,  trailing  my  spoil  behind,  which  in  my 
haste  I  had  not  time  to  collect  in  a  bundle.  I  flew  rather 
than  ran  along  the  passage,  reached  the  stairs,  and  in  an- 
other minute  had  gained  the  second  gallery,  but  not  before 
I  heard  the  slam  of  a  door  behind  me,  and  the  same  instant 
the  footsteps  of  a  person  running  along  the  corridor,  who 
could  be  no  other  than  my  pursuer,  effectually  aroused  by 
my  last  appeal  to  his  charity.  I  darted  along  the  dark  and 
narrow  passage,  but  soon  to  my  horror  discovered  that  I 
must  have  passed  the  door  of  my  chamber;  for  I  had  reached 
the  foot  of  a  narrow  back  stair  which  led  to  the  grenier  and 
the  servants'  rooms,  beneath  the  roof.  To  turn  now  would 
only  have  led  me  plump  in  the  face  of  my  injured  country- 
man, of  whose  thew  and  sinew  I  was  perfectly  ignorant, 
and  did  not  much  like  to  venture  upon.  There  was  little 
time  for  reflection,  for  he  had  just  reached  the  top  of  the 
stair,  and  was  evidently  listening  for  some  clew  to  guide 
him  on;  stealthily  and  silently,  and  scarcely  drawing 
"breath,  I  mounted  the  narrow  stairs  step  by  step,  but 
before  I  had  arrived  at  the  landing,  he  heard  the  rustle 
of  the  bedclothes  and  again  gave  chase.  There  was  some- 
thing in  the  unrelenting  ardor  of  his  pursuit  which  sug- 
gested to  my  mind  the  idea  of  a  most  uncompromising  foe; 
and  as  fear  added  speed  to  my  steps,  I  dashed  along  be- 
neath the  low-roofed  passage,  wondering  what  chance  of 
escape  might  yet  present  itself.  Just  at  this  instant  the 
hand  by  which  I  had  guided  myself  along  the  wall  touched 
the  handle  of  a  door,  I  turned  it,  it  opened,  I  drew  in  my 
precious  bundle,  and  closing  the  door  noiselessly,  sat  down, 
breathless  and  still,  upon  the  floor. 


20  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Scarcely  was  this,  the  work  of  a  second,  accomplished, 
when  the  heavy  tread  of  my  pursuer  resounded  on  the  floor. 

"  Upon  my  conscience  it 's  strange  if  I  have  n't  you  now, 
my  friend,"  said  he;  "you're  in  a  cul-de-sac  here,  as  they 
say,  if  I  know  anything  of  the  house;  and  faith,  I  '11  make 
a  salad  of  you  when  I  get  you,  that's  all.  Devil  a  dirtier 
trick  ever  I  heard  tell  of." 

Need  I  say  these  words  had  the  true  smack  of  an  Irish 
accent?  —  which  circumstance,  from  whatever  cause,  did 
not  by  any  means  tend  to  assuage  my  fears  in  the  event 
of  discovery. 

However,  from  such  a  misfortune  my  good  genius  now 
delivered  me ;  for  after  traversing  the  passage  to  the  end, 
he  at  last  discovered  another,  which  led  by  a  long  flight  to 
the  second  story,  down  which  he  proceeded,  venting  at 
every  step  his  determination  for  vengeance,  and  his  resolu- 
tion not  to  desist  from  the  pursuit  if  it  took  the  entire  night 
for  it. 

"Well  now,"  thought  I,  "as  he  will  scarcely  venture  up 
here  again,  and  as  I  may,  by  leaving  this,  be  only  incurring 
the  risk  of  encountering  him,  my  best  plan  is  to  stay  where 
I  am,  if  it  be  possible."  With  this  intent,  I  proceeded  to 
explore  the  apartment,  which  from  its  perfect  stillness  I 
concluded  to  be  unoccupied.  After  some  few  minutes' 
groping  I  reached  a  low  bed,  fortunately  empty;  and 
although  the  touch  of  the  bedclothes  led  to  no  very  favor- 
aide  augury  of  its  neatness  or  elegance,  there  was  little 
choice  at  this  moment,  so  I  rolled  myself  up  in  my  recent 
booty  and  resolved  to  wait  patiently  for  daybreak  to  regain 
my  apartment. 

As  always  happens  in  such  circumstances,  sleep  came  on 
unawares,  — so,  at  least,  everyone's  experience,  I  am  sure, 
can  testify,  that  if  you  arc  forced  to  wake  early  to  start  by 
some  morning  coach,  and  that  unfortunately  you  have  not 
got  to  bed  till  late  at  night,  the  chances  are  ten  to  one  that 
you  get  no  sleep  whatever,  simply  because  you  arc  desirous 
of  it;  but  make  up  your  mind  ever  so  resolutely  that  you  '11 
not  slumber,  and  whether  your  determination  be  built  on 


THE  INN  AT  CHANTRAINE.  21 

motives  of  propriety,  duty,  convenience,  or  health,  the 
chances  are  just  as  strong  that  you  are  sound  and  snoring 
before  ten  minutes. 

How  many  a  man  has  found  it  impossible,  with  every 
effort  of  his  heart  and  brain  aiding  his  good  wishes,  to  sit 
with  unclosed  eyes  and  ears  through  a  dull  sermon  in  the 
dog-days !   How  many  an  expectant,  longing  heir  has  yielded 
to  the  drowsy  influence  when  endeavoring  to  look  contrite 
under  the  severe  correction  of  a  lecture  on  extravagance 
from  his  uncle !    Who  has  not  felt  the  irresistible  tendency 
to  "drop  off"  in  the  half-hour  before  dinner  at  a  stupid 
country-house?     I  need  not  catalogue  the  thousand  other 
situations  in  life  infinitely  more  "  sleep-compelling  "  than 
morphine;    for  myself,  my  pleasantest  and  soundest  mo- 
ments of  perfect  forgetfulness  of  this  dreary  world  and  all 
its  cares  have  been  taken  on  an  oaken  bench,  seated  bolt 
upright,  and  vis-a-vis  a  lecturer  on  botany,  whose  calming 
accents,  united  with  the  softened  light  of  an  autumnal  day, 
piercing  its  difficult  rays  through  the  narrow  and  cobwebbed 
windows,  the  odor  of  the  recent  plants  and  flowers  aiding 
and  abetting,  all  combined  to  steep  the  soul  in  sleep,  and 
you  sank  by  imperceptible  and  gradual  steps  into  that  state 
of  easy  slumber  in  which  "come  no  dreams,"  and  the  last 
sounds  of  the  lecturer's  "hypogenous  and  perigenous  "  died 
away,  becoming  beautifully  less,  till  your  senses  sank  into 
rest,  the  syllable  "rigging  us  —  rigging  us,"  seeming  to 
melt  away  in  the  distance  and  fade  from  your  memory. 
Peace  be  with  you,  Dr.  A. !     If  I  owe  gratitude  anywhere, 
I  have  my  debt  with  you.     The  very  memory  I  bear  of  you 
has  saved  me  no  inconsiderable  sum  in  hop  and  henbane. 
Without  any  assistance  from  the  sciences  on  the  present 
occasion,  I  was  soon  asleep,  and  woke  not  till  the  cracking 
of  whips  and  trampling  of  horses'  feet  on  the  pavement  of 
the  coach-yard  apprised  me  that  the  world  had  risen  to  its 
daily  labor,  and  that  so  ought  T.     From  the  short  survey  of 
my  present  chamber  which  I  took  on  waking,  I  conjectured 
it  must  have  been  the  den  of  some  of  the  servants  of  the 
house  upon  occasion.    Two  low  truckle-beds  of  the  meanest 


22  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

description  lay  along  the  wall  opposite  to  mine;  one  of 
them  appeared  to  have  been  slept  in  during  the  past  night, 
but  by  what  species  of  animal  the  Fates  alone  can  tell.  An 
old  demi-peak  saddle  capped  and  tipped  with  brass,  some 
rusty  bits  and  stray  stirrup-irons,  lay  here  and  there  upon 
the  floor;  while  upon  a  species  of  clothes-rack,  attached  to 
a  rafter,  hung  a  tarnished  suit  of  postilion's  livery,  cap, 
jacket,  leathers,  and  jack-boots,  all  ready  for  use,  and  evi- 
dently, from  their  arrangement,  supposed  by  the  owner  to 
be  a  rather  creditable  "turn  out." 

I  turned  over  these  singular  habiliments  with  much  of 
the  curiosity  with  which  an  antiquary  would  survey  a  suit 
of  chain-armor;  the  long  epaulets  of  yellow  cotton  cord, 
the  heavy  belt  with  its  brass  buckle,  the  cumbrous  boots, 
plaited  and  bound  with  iron-like  churns,  were  in  rather  a 
ludicrous  contrast  to  the  equipment  of  our  light  and  jockey- 
like boys,  in  nankeen  jackets  and  neat  tops,  that  spin  along 
over  our  level  "Macadam." 

"But,"  thought  I,  "it  is  full  time  I  should  get  back  to 
No.  82  and  make  my  appearance  below  stairs;  "  though  in 
what  part  of  the  building  my  room  lay,  and  how  I  was  to 
reach  it  without  my  clothes,  I  had  not  the  slightest  idea. 
A  blanket  is  an  exceedingly  comfortable  article  of  wearing 
apparel  when  in  bed,  but  as  a  walking  costume  is  by  no 
means  convenient  or  appropriate;  while  as  to  making  a 
sortie  en  sauvage,  however  appropriate  during  the  night, 
there  were  many  serious  objections  if  done  in  broad  day, 
and  with  the  whole  establishment  awake  and  active.  The 
noise  of  mopping,  scrubbing,  and  polishing,  which  is  eter- 
nally going  forward  in  a  foreign  inn,  amply  testified  there 
was  nothing  which  I  could  adopt  in  my  present  naked  and 
forlorn  condition  save  the  uncouth  and  ridiculous  dress  of 
the  postilion;  and  I  need  not  say  the  thought  of  so  doing 
presented  nothing  agreeable.  I  looked  from  the  narrow 
window  out  upon  the  tiled  roof,  but  without  any  prospect 
of  being  heard  if  I  called  ever  so  loudly. 

The  infernal  noise  of  floor-cleansing,  assisted  by  a  Nor- 
man peasant's  chonson  du  pays,   the  "time"  being  well 


THE  INN  AT   CHANTKAINE.  23 

marked  by  her  heavy  sabots,  gave  even  less  chance  to  me 
within;  so  that  after  more  than  half  an  hour  passed  in 
weighing  difficulties  and  canvassing  plans,  I  determined 
upon  donning  "  the  blue  and  yellow  "  and  setting  out  for 
my  own  room  without  delay,  hoping  sincerely  that,  with 
proper  precaution,  I  should  be  able  to  reach  it  unseen  and 
unobserved. 

As  I  laid  but  little  stress  upon  the  figure  I  should  make 
in  my  new  habiliments,  it  did  not  cause  me  much  mortifica- 
tion to  find  that  the  clothes  were  considerably  too  small, 
the  jacket  scarcely  coming  beneath  my  arms,  and  the 
sleeves  being  so  short  that  my  hands  and  wrists  projected 
beyond  the  cuffs  like  two  enormous  claws;  the  leathers 
were  also  limited  in  their  length,  and  when  drawn  up  to 
a  proper  height,  permitted  my  knees  to  be  seen  beneath, 
like  the  short  costume  of  a  Spanish  torreador,  but  scarcely 
as  graceful.  Not  wishing  to  encumber  myself  in  the  heavy 
and  noisy  masses  of  wood,  iron,  and  leather  they  call  les 
bottes  fortes,  I  slipped  my  feet  into  my  slippers  and  stole 
gently  from  the  room.  How  I  must  have  looked  at  the 
moment,  I  leave  my  reader  to  guess,  as  with  anxious  and 
stealthy  pace  I  crept  along  the  low  gallery  that  led  to  the 
narrow  staircase,  down  which  I  proceeded  step  by  step; 
but  just  as  I  reached  the  bottom,  perceived,  a  little  dis- 
tance from  me,  with  her  back  turned  towards  me,  a  short, 
squat  peasant  on  her  knees  belaboring  with  a  brush  the 
well-waxed  floor.  To  pass,  therefore,  unobserved  was  im- 
possible, so  that  I  did  not  hesitate  to  address  her,  and 
endeavor  to  interest  her  in  my  behalf  and  enlist  her  as  my 
guide. 

"  Bon  jour,  ma  chere,"  said  I,  in  a  soft,  insinuating  tone. 
She  did  not  hear  me,  so  I  repeated,  "Bon  jour,  via  chere, 
bon  jour." 

Upon  this  she  turned  round,  and  looking  fixedly  at  me 
for  a  second,  called  out  in  a  thick  patois,  "Ah,  bon  Dieu, 
qu'il  est  drole  comme  ca,  Francois !  Mais  ce  n'est  pas 
Francois  !  "  Saying  which,  she  sprang  from  her  kneeling 
position  to  her  feet,  and  with  a  speed  that  her  shape  and 


24  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

sabots  seemed  little  to  promise,  rushed  down  the  stairs  as 
if  she  had  seen  the  devil  himself. 

"Why,  what  is  the  matter  with  the  woman?"  said  I. 
"  Surely,  if  I  am  not  Fran§ois,  —  which,  God  be  thanked, 
is  true,  — yet  I  cannot  look  so  frightful  as  all  this  would 
imply."     I  had  not  much  time  given  me  for  consideration 
now,  for  before  I  had  well  deciphered  the  number  over  a 
door  before  me,  the  loud  noise  of   several  voices  on  the 
floor  beneath  attracted  my  attention,  and  the  moment  after, 
the  heavy  tramp  of  feet  followed,  and  in  an  instant  the 
gallery  was  thronged  by  the  men  and  women  of  the  house, 
—  waiters,  ostlers,  cooks,  scullions,  filles  de  chambre,  min- 
gled   with   gendarmes,    peasants,    and    townspeople,  —  all 
eagerly  forcing  their  way  upstairs;    yet  all,  on  arriving 
at  the  landing-place,  seemed  disposed  to  keep  at  a  respect- 
ful distance,  and  bundled  themselves  at  one  end  of  the  cor- 
ridor, while  I,  feelingly  alive  to  the  ridiculous  appearance 
I  made,  occupied  the  other.     The  gravity  with  which  they 
seemed  at  first  disposed  to  regard  me  soon  gave  way,  and 
peal  after  peal  of  laughter  broke  out,  and  young  and  old, 
men  and  women,  even  to  the  most  severe  gendarmes,  all 
appeared  incapable  of  controlling  the  desire  for  merriment 
my  most  singular  figure  inspired.     And  unfortunately  this 
emotion  seemed  to  promise  no  very  speedy  conclusion;  for 
the  jokes  and  witticisms  made  upon  my  appearance  threat- 
ened to  renew  the  festivities  ad  libitum. 

" Regardez  done  ses  epaules,"  said  one. 

"Ah,  mon  Dieu/  II  me  fait  Videe  d'icne  grenouille  avec 
ses  jambes  jaimes,"  cried  another. 

"  II  vaut  son  pesant  de  fromage  pour  un  vaudeville, "  said 
the  director  of  the  strolling  theatre  of  the  place.  "I'll 
give  seventy  francs  a  week  d' appointements,  and  Scribe  shall 
write  a  piece  expressly  for  himself,  if  he  '11  take  it." 

"May  the  devil  fly  away  with  your  grinning  baboon 
faces  ! "  said  I,  as  I  rushed  up  the  stairs  again,  pursued  by 
the  mob  at  full  cry.  Scarcely,  however,  had  I  reached  the 
top  step  when  the  rough  hand  of  the  gendarme  seized  me 
by  the  shoulder,  while  he  said   in  a  low,  husky  voice, 


THE  INN  AT  CHANTRAINE.  25 

"  C'est  inutile,  monsieur,  you  cannot  escape.  The  thing 
was  well  contrived,  it  is  true ;  but  the  gendarmes  of  France 
are  not  easily  outwitted,  and  you  could  not  have  long 
avoided  detection,  even  in  that  dress."  It  was  my  turn 
to  laugh  now,  which,  to  their  very  great  amazement,  I  did, 
loud  and  long.  That  I  should  have  thought  my  present 
costume  could  ever  have  been  the  means  of  screening  me 
from  observation,  however  it  might  have  been  calculated  to 
attract  it,  was  rather  too  absurd  a  supposition  even  for  the 
mayor  of  a  village  to  entertain;  besides,  it  only  now 
occurred  to  me  that  I  was  figuring  in  the  character  of  a 
prisoner.  The  continued  peals  of  laughing  which  this  mis- 
take on  their  part  elicited  from  me  seemed  to  afford  but 
slight  pleasure  to  my  captor,  who  gruffly  said,  — 

"When  you  have  done  amusing  yourself,  mon  ami,  per- 
haps you  will  do  us  the  favor  to  come  before  the  mayor." 

"Certainly,"  I  replied;  "but  you  will  first  permit  me  to 
resume  my  own  clothes.  I  am  quite  sick  of  masquerading 
en  postilion." 

"Not  so  fast,  my  friend,"  said  the  suspicious  old  follower 
of  Fouche,  —  "  not  so  fast ;  it  is  but  right  the  maire  should 
see  you  in  the  disguise  you  attempted  your  escape  in.  It 
must  be  especially  mentioned  in  the  prods' -verbal." 

"Well,  this  is  becoming  too  ludicrous,"  said  I.  "It  need 
not  take  five  minutes  to  satisfy  you  why,  how,  and  where 
I  put  on  these  confounded  rags  —  " 

"Then  tell  it  to  the  maire,  at  the  bureau." 

"But  for  that  purpose  it  is  not  necessary  I  should  be 
conducted  through  the  streets  in  broad  day,  to  be  laughed 
at.  ISTo,  positively,  I  '11  not  go.  In  my  own  dress  I  '11 
accompany  you  with  pleasure." 

"Victor,  Henri,  Guillaume!  "  said  the  gendarme,  address- 
ing his  companions,  who  immediately  closed  round  me. 
"You  see,"  added  he,  "there  is  no  use  in  resisting." 

Need  I  recount  my  own  shame  and  ineffable  disgrace? 
Alas !  it  is  too,  too  true.  Harry  Lorrequer  —  whom  Stultz 
entreated  to  wear  his  coats,  the  ornament  of  Hyde  Park, 
the  last  appeal   in  dress,    fashion,    and  equipage  —  was 


26  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

obliged  to  parade  through  the  mob  of  a  market-town  in 
France,  with  four  gendarmes  for  his  companions,  and  he 
himself  habited  in  a  mongrel  character,  half  postilion,  half 
Delaware  Indian.  The  incessant  yells  of  laughter,  the 
screams  of  the  children,  and  the  outpouring  of  every 
species  of  sarcasm  and  ridicule  at  my  expense  were  not 
all ;  for  as  I  emerged  from  the  inn-door  I  saw  Isabella  in 
the  window.  Her  eyes  were  red  with  weeping,  but  no 
sooner  had  she  beheld  me  than  she  broke  out  into  a  fit  of 
laughter  that  was  audible  even  in  the  street. 

Rage  had  now  taken  such  a  hold  upon  me  that  I  forgot 
my  ridiculous  appearance  in  my  thirst  for  vengeance.  I 
marched  on  through  the  grinning  crowd  with  the  step  of  a 
martyr.  I  suppose  my  heroic  bearing  and  warlike  deport- 
ment must  have  heightened  the  drollery  of  the  scene,  for 
the  devils  only  laughed  the  more.  The  bureau  of  the  maire 
could  not  contain  one  tenth  of  the  anxious  and  curious  indi- 
viduals who  thronged  the  entrance,  and  for  about  twenty 
minutes  the  whole  efforts  of  the  gendarmes  were  little 
enough  to  keep  order  and  maintain  silence.  At  length  the 
maire  made  his  appearance ;  and  accustomed  as  he  had  been 
for  a  long  life  to  scenes  of  an  absurd  and  extraordinary 
nature,  yet  the  ridicule  of  my  look  and  costume  was  too 
much,  and  he  laughed  outright.  This  was  of  course  the 
signal  for  renewed  mirth  from  the  crowd,  while  those  with- 
out doors,  infected  by  the  example,  took  up  the  jest,  and  I 
had  the  pleasure  of  a  short  calculation,  a  la  Babbage,  of 
how  many  maxillary  jaws  were  at  that  same  moment  wag- 
ging at  my  expense. 

1 1  owever,  the  examination  commenced ;  and  I  at  length 
obtained  an  opportunity  of  explaining  under  what  circum- 
stances I  had  left  my  room,  and  how  and  why  I  had  been 
induced  to  don  this  confounded  cause  of  all  my  misery. 

"This  may  be  very  true,"  said  the  mayor,  "as  it  is  very 
plausible,  if  you  have  evidence  to  prove  what  you  have 
stated  —  " 

"If  it's  evidence  only  is  wanting,  Mr.  Maire,  I'll  con- 
firm one  part  of  the  story, "  said  a  voice  in  the  crowd,  in  an 


THE  INN  AT  CHANTEAINE.  27 

accent  and  tone  that  assured  me  the  speaker  was  the  injured 
proprietor  of  the  stolen  blankets.  I  turned  round  hastily 
to  look  at  my  victim,  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  recog- 
nize a  very  old  Dublin  acquaintance,  Mr.  Arthur  O'Leary. 
"Good  morning,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  he.  "This  is 
mighty  like  our  old  practices  in  College  Green;  but  upon 
my  conscience  the  maire  has  the  advantage  of  Gabbet. 
It 's  lucky  for  you  I  know  his  worship,  as  we  'd  call  him  at 
home,  or  this  might  be  a  serious  business.  Nothing  would 
persuade  them  that  you  were  not  Lucien  Bonaparte,  or  the 
Iron  Mask,  or  something  of  that  sort,  if  they  took  it  into 
their  heads." 

Mr.  O'Leary  was  as  good  as  his  word.  In  a  species  of 
French  that  I  'd  venture  to  say  would  be  perfectly  intelli- 
gible in  Mullingar,  he  contrived  to  explain  to  the  maire 
that  I  was  neither  a  runaway  nor  a  swindler,  but  a  very  old 
friend  of  his,  and  consequently  most  respectable.  The  offi- 
cial was  now  as  profuse  of  his  civilities  as  he  had  before 
been  of  his  suspicions,  and  most  hospitably  pressed  us  to 
stay  for  breakfast.  This,  for  many  reasons,  I  was  obliged 
to  decline,  —  not  the  least  of  which  was  my  impatience  to 
get  out  of  my  present  costume.  We  accordingly  procured 
a  carriage  and  I  returned  to  the  hotel,  screened  from 
the  gaze  but  still  accompanied  by  the  shouts  of  the  mob, 
who  evidently  took  a  most  lively  interest  in  the  entire 
proceeding. 

I  lost  no  time  in  changing  my  costume,  and  was  about  to 
descend  to  the  salon,  when  the  master  of  the  house  came 
to  inform  me  that  Mrs.  Bingham's  courier  had  arrived  with 
the  carriage,  and  that  she  expected  us  at  Amiens  as  soon  as 
possible. 

"That  is  all  right.  Now,  Mr.  O'Leary,  I  must  pray  you 
to  forgive  the  liberty  I  have  taken  with  you,  and  also  per- 
mit me  to  defer  the  explanation  of  many  circumstances 
which  seem  at  present  strange,  till  —  " 

"  Till  sine  die,  if  the  story  be  a  long  one,  my  dear  sir. 
There  's  nothing  I  hate  so  much,  except  cold  punch." 

"You  are  going  to  Paris,"  said  I, "is  it  not  so?" 


28  HAKTIY  LORREQUER. 

"  Yes,  I  'm  thinking  of  it.  I  was  up  at  Trolhatten,  in 
Norway,  three  weeks  ago,  and  I  was  obliged  to  leave  it 
hastily,  for  I  've  an  appointment  with  a  friend  in  Geneva." 

"  Then  how  do  you  travel?  " 

"  On  foot,  just  as  you  see,  except  that  I  have  a  tobacco- 
bag  upstairs  and  an  umbrella." 

"Light  equipment,  certainly;  but  you  must  allow  me  to 
give  you  a  set  down  as  far  as  Amiens,  and  also  to  present 
you  to  my  friends  there." 

To  this  Mr.  O'Leary  made  no  objection;  and  as  Miss 
Bingham  could  not  bear  any  delay,  in  her  anxiety  to  join 
her  mother,  we  set  out  at  once,  —  the  only  thing  to  mar  my 
full  enjoyment  at  the  moment  being  the  sight  of  the  identi- 
cal vestments  I  had  so  lately  figured  in,  bobbing  up  and 
down  before  my  eyes  for  the  whole  length  of  the  stage,  and 
leading  to  innumerable  mischievous  allusions  from  my 
friend  Mr.  O'Leary,  which  were  far  too  much  relished  by 
my  fair  companion. 

At  twelve  we  arrived  at  Amiens,  when  I  presented  my 
friend  Mr.  O'Leary  to  Mrs.  Bingham. 


CHAPTER  III. 


MR.    O'LEAKY. 


At  the  conclusion  of  my  last  chapter  I  was  about  to 
introduce  to  my  reader's  acquaintance  my  friend  Mr. 
O'Leary;  and  as  he  is  destined  to  occupy  some  place  in 
the  history  of  these  "Confessions,"  I  may  perhaps  be  per- 
mitted to  do  so  at  more  length  than  his  intrinsic  merit  at 
first  sight  might  appear  to  warrant. 

Mr.  O'Leary  was,  and  I  am  induced  to  believe  is,  a  par- 
ticularly short,  fat,  greasy-looking  gentleman,  with  a  head 
as  free  from  phrenological  development  as  a  billiard-ball, 
and  a  countenance  which,  in  feature  and  color,  nearly  re- 
sembled the  face  of  a  cherub  carved  in  oak  as  we  see  them 
in  old  pulpits. 

Short  as  is  his  stature,  his  limbs  compose  the  least  part 
of  it.  His  hands  and  feet,  forming  some  compensation  by 
their  ample  proportions,  give  to  his  entire  air  and  appear- 
ance somewhat  the  look  of  a  small  fish,  with  short,  thick 
fins,  vulgarly  called  a  cobbler's  thumb.  His  voice,  varying 
in  cadence  from  a  deep  baritone  to  a  high  falsetto,  main- 
tains throughout  the  distinctive  characteristic  of  a  Dublin 
accent  and  pronunciation,  and  he  talks  of  the  "Veel  of 
Ovoca, "  and  a  "  beei-steek, "  with  some  pride  of  intonation. 
What  part  of  the  Island  he  came  originally  from,  or  what 
may  be  his  age,  are  questions  I  have  the  most  profound 
ignorance  of;  I  have  heard  many  anecdotes  which  would 
imply  his  being  what  the  French  call  d'un  age  micr,  but 
his  own  observations  are  generally  limited  to  events  occur- 
ring since  the  peace  of  "fifteen."  To  his  personal  attrac- 
tions, such  as  they  are,  he  has  never  been  solicitous  of 
contributing  by  the  meretricious  aids  of  dress.  His  coat, 
calculating  from  its  length  of  waist  and  ample  skirt,  would 


30  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

lit  Bunibo  Green,  while  his  trousers,  being  made  of  some 
cheap  and  shrinking  material,  have  gradually  contracted 
their  limits,  and  look  now  exactly  like  knee-breeches, 
without  the  usual  buttons  at  the  bottom. 

These,  with  the  addition  of  a  pair  of  green  spectacles, 
the  glass  of  one  being  absent,  and  permitting  the  look-out 
of  a  sharp  gray  eye,  twinkling  with  drollery  and  good- 
humor,  form  the  most  palpable  of  his  externals.  In  point 
of  character,  they  who  best  knew  him  represented  him  as 
the  best-tempered,  best-hearted  fellow  breathing,  ever 
ready  to  assist  a  friend,  and  always  postponing  his  own 
plans  and  his  own  views,  when  he  had  any,  to  the  wishes 
and  intentions  of  others.  Among  the  many  odd  things 
about  him  was  a  constant  preference  to  travelling  on  foot, 
and  a  great  passion  for  living  abroad,  both  of  which  tastes 
he  gratified,  although  his  size  might  seem  to  offer  obstacles 
to  the  one,  and  his  total  ignorance  of  every  Continental 
language  would  appear  to  preclude  the  other.  With  a 
great  liking  for  tobacco,  which  he  smoked  all  day,  a  fond- 
ness for  whist  and  malt  liquors,  his  antipathies  were  few; 
so  that  except  when  called  upon  to  shave  more  than  once 
in  the  week,  or  wash  his  hands  twice  on  the  same  day,  it 
was  difficult  to  disconcert  him.  His  fortune  was  very 
ample ;  but  although  his  mode  of  living  was  neither  very 
ostentatious  nor  costly,  he  contrived  always  to  spend  his 
income.  Such  was  the  gentleman  I  now  presented  to  my 
friends,  who,  I  must  confess,  appeared  strangely  puzzled 
by  his  manner  and  appearance.  This  feeling,  however, 
soon  wore  off;  and  before  he  had  spent  the  morning  in 
their  company,  he  had  made  more  way  in  their  good 
-races,  and  gone  farther  to  establish  intimacy,  than  many 
a  more  accomplished  person,  with  an  unexceptionable  coat 
a  ml  accurate  whisker,  might  have  effected  in  a  fortnight. 
What  were  his  gifts  in  this  way,  I  am,  alas!  most  deplor- 
ably ignorant  of;  it  was  not,  Heaven  knows,  that  he  pos- 
sessed any  conversational  talent,  —  of  successful  flattery  he 
knew  as  much  as  a  negro  (hies  of  the  national  debt,  — and 
yet  the  bonhomie  of  his  character  seemed  to  tell  at  once; 


MR.   O'LEAEY.  31 

and  I  never  knew  him  fail  in  any  one  instance  to  estab- 
lish an  interest  for  himself  before  he  had  completed  the 
ordinary  period  of  a  visit. 

I  think  it  is  Washington  Irving  who  has  so  admirably 
depicted  the  mortification  of  a  dandy  angler  who,  with  his 
beaver  garnished  with  brown  hackles,  his  well-poised  rod, 
polished  gaff,  and  handsome  landing-net,  with  everything 
befitting,  spends  his  long  summer  day  whipping  a  trout 
stream  without  a  rise  or  even  a  ripple  to  reward  him,  while 
a  ragged  urchin,  with  a  willow  wand  and  a  bent  pin,  not 
ten  yards  distant,    is  covering  the   greensward  with  my- 
riads of  speckled  and  scaly  backs,  from  one  pound  weight 
to  four.     So  it  is  in  everything,  —  "  the  race  is  not  to  the 
swift;"  the  elements  of  success  in  life,  whatever  be  the 
object  of  pursuit,   are  very,  very  different  from  what  we 
think  of  them  at  first  sight.     And   so  it  was  with  Mr. 
O'Leary ;  and  I  have  more  than  once  witnessed  the  triumph 
of  his  homely  manner  and  blunt  humor  over  the  more  pol- 
ished and  well-bred  taste  of  his  competitors  for  favor ;  and 
what  might  have  been  the  limit  to  such  success,  Heaven 
can   only  tell,   if   it  were   not   that   he   labored   under   a 
counterbalancing  infirmity   sufficient  to  have  swamped   a 
line-of-battle   ship  itself.     It  was    simply  this, — a  most 
unfortunate  propensity  to  talk  of  the  wrong  place,  person, 
or  time  in  any  society  he  found  himself;  and  this  taste  for 
the  mal  a  propos  extended  so  far  that  no  one  ever  ventured 
into  company  with  him  as  his  friend  without  trembling  for 
the  result.    But  even  this,  I  believe  his  only  fault,  resulted 
from  the  natural  goodness  of  his  character  and  intentions ; 
for  believing,  as  he  did,  in  his  honest  simplicity,  that  the 
arbitrary  distinctions  of  class  and  rank  were  held  as  cheaply 
by  others  as  himself,  he  felt  small  scruple  at  recounting  to 
a  duchess  a  scene  in  a  cabaret,  and  with  as  little  hesitation 
would  he,  if  asked,  have  sung  the  "Cruiskeen  Lawn"  or 
the  "  Jug  of  Punch, "  after  Lablache  had  finished  the  "  Al 
Idea"  from  "Figaro."     Mauvaise  honte  he  had  none;  in- 
deed, I  am  not  sure  that  he  had  any  kind  of  shame  what- 
ever, —  except,  possibly,  when  detected  with  a  coat  that  bore 


32  HAKRY  LOHREQUER. 

any  appearance  of  newness,  or  if  over-persuaded  to  wear 
gloves,  which  he  ever  considered  as  a  special  effeminacy. 

Such  was  he;  and  how  far  he  insinuated  himself  into 
their  good  graces,  let  the  fact  tell  that  on  my  return  to  the 
breakfast-room,  after  about  an  hour's  absence,  I  heard  him 
detailing  the  particulars  of  a  route  they  were  to  take  by  his 
advice,  and  also  learned  that  he  had  been  offered,  and  had 
accepted,  a  seat  in  their  carriage  to  Paris. 

"Then  I  '11  do  myself  the  pleasure  of  joining  your  party, 
Mrs.  Bingham,"  said  he.  "Bingham,  I  think,  madam,  is 
your  name?" 

"Yes,  sir." 

"  Any  relation,  may  I  ask,  of  a  most  dear  friend  of  mine, 
of  the  same  name,  from  Currynaslattery,  in  the  county  of 
Wexford?" 

"I  am  really  not  aware,"  said  Mrs.  Bingham.  "My 
husband's  family  are,  I  believe,  many  of  them  from  that 
county." 

"Ah,  what  a  pleasant  fellow  was  Tom!"  said  Mr. 
O'Leary,  musingly,  and  with  that  peculiar  tone  which 
made  me  tremble,  for  I  knew  well  that  a  reminiscence 
was  coming.     "A  pleasant  fellow  indeed." 

"Is  he  alive,  sir,  now?" 

"I  believe  so,  ma'am;  but  I  hear  the  climate  does  not 
agree  with  him." 

"Ah,  then,  he  's  abroad,  —in  Italy,  probably?" 

"No,  ma'am,  in  Botany  Bay.  His  brother,  they  say, 
might  have  saved  him,  but  he  left  poor  Tom  to  his  fate, 
for  he  was  just  then  paying  his  court  to  a  Miss  Crow,  I 
think,  with  a  large  fortune.  0  Lord!  what  have  I  said! 
It 's  always  the  luck  of  me!"  The  latter  exclamation  was 
the  result  of  a  heavy  plump  upon  the  floor,  Mrs.  Bingham 
having  fallen  in  a  faint,  she  being  the  identical  lady 
alluded  to,  and  her  husband  the  brother  of  pleasant  Tom 
Bingham. 

To  hurl  Mr.  O'Leary  out  of  the  room  by  one  hand,  and 
ring  the  bell  with  the  other,  was  the  work  of  a  moment; 
and  with  proper  care  and  in  due  time,  Mrs.  Bingham  was 


MR.   O'LEARY.  33 

brought  to  herself,  when,  most  fortunately,  she  entirely 
forgot  the  cause  of  her  sudden  indisposition,  and  of  course 
neither  her  daughter  nor  myself  suffered  any  clew  to  escape 
us  which  might  lead  to  its  discovery. 

When  we  were  once  more  upon  the  road,  to  efface,  if  it 
might  be  necessary,  any  unpleasant  recurrence  to  the  late 
scene,  I  proceeded  to  give  Mrs.  Bingham  an  account  of  my 
adventure  at  Chantraine,  in  which,  of  course,  I  endeavored 
to  render  my  friend  O'Leary  all  the  honors  of  being  laughed 
at  in  preference  to  myself,  laying  little  stress  upon  my  mas- 
querading in  the  jack-boots. 

"You  are  quite  right,"  said  O'Leary,  joining  in  the 
hearty  laugh  against  him,  "quite  right;  I  was  always  a 
very  heavy  sleeper,  —  indeed,  if  I  was  n't,  I  would  n't  be 
here  now,  travelling  about  en  gargon,  free  as  air ;  "  and  here 
he  heaved  a  sigh,  which,  from  its  incongruity  with  his 
jovial  look  and  happy  expression,  threw  us  all  into  re- 
newed laughter. 

"But  why,  Mr.  O'Leary,  what  can  your  sleepiness  have 
to  do  with  such  tender  recollections,  —  for  such,  I  am  sure, 
that  sigh  bespeaks  them?" 

"Ah!  ma'am,  it  may  seem  strange,  but  it  is,  neverthe- 
less, true,  if  it  were  not  for  that  unfortunate  tendency,  I 
should  now  be  the  happy  possessor  of  a  most  accomplished 
and  amiable  lady  and  eight  hundred  per  annum  three-and- 
a-half  per  cent  stock." 

"You  overslept  yourself  on  the  wedding-day,  I  suppose?  " 

"You  shall  hear,  ma'am;  the  story  is  but  a  short  one. 
It  is  now  about  eight  years  ago,  I  was  rambling  through 
the  South  of  France  and  had  just  reached  Lyons,  where  the 
confounded  pavement,  that  sticks  up  like  pears  with  the 
points  upwards,  had  compelled  me  to  rest  some  days  and 
recruit.  For  this  purpose  I  installed  myself  in  the  pen- 
sion of  Madame  Gourgeaud,  Rue  des  Petits-Carmes,  — a 
quiet  house,  where  we  dined  at  twelve,  ten  in  number, 
upon  about  two  pounds  of  stewed  beef,  with  garlic  and 
carrots,  a  light  soup  (being  the  water  which  accompanied 
the  same,  to  render  it  tender  in  stewing)  some  preserved 

VOL.  II.  —  3 


34  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

cherries  and  an  omelette,  with  a  pint  hottle  of  Beaune 
(sixieme  qualiti,  I  believe),  a  species  of  pyroligneous  wine, 
made  from  the  vine-stalks,  but  pleasant  in  summer  with 
your  salad.  Then  we  played  dominos  in  the  evening,  or 
whist  for  sou-points,  leading  altogether  a  very  quiet  and 
virtuous  existeuce,  or,  as  Madame  herself  expressed  it, 
4  une  vie  tout  a  fait  patriarchate,'  —  of  this  I  cannot  myself 
affirm  how  far  she  was  right  in  supposing  the  patriarchs 
did  exactly  like  us.  But  to  proceed:  in  the  same  estab- 
lishment there  lived  a  widow,  an  Englishwoman,  whose 
late  husband  had  been  a  wine  merchant  at  Dijon;  he  had 
also,  I  suppose,  from  residing  in  that  country,  been  imitat- 
ing the  patriarchs,  for  he  died  one  day.  Well,  the  lady 
was  delayed  at  Lyons  for  some  law  business,  and  thus  it 
came  about  that  her  husband's  testament  and  the  sharp 
paving-stones  in  the  streets  determined  that  we  should  be 
acquainted.  I  cannot  express  to  you  the  delight  of  my  fair 
countrywoman  at  finding  that  a  person  who  spoke  English 
had  arrived  at  the  pension,  —  a  feeling  I  myself  somewhat 
participated  in ;  for,  to  say  truth,  I  was  not  at  that  time  a 
very  great  proficient  in  French.  We  soon  became  intimate, 
—  in  less  time,  probably,  than  it  could  otherwise  have  hap- 
pened; for,  from  the  ignorance  of  all  the  others  of  one 
word  of  English,  I  was  enabled,  during  dinner,  to  say 
many  soft  and  tender  things  which  one  does  not  usually 
venture  on  in  company. 

"I  recounted  my  travels  and  told  various  adventures  of 
my  wanderings,  till  at  last,  from  being  merely  amused,  I 
found  that  my  fair  friend  began  to  be  interested  in  my  nar- 
ratives; and  frequently,  when  passing  the  bouillon  to  her, 
I  have  seen  a  tear  in  the  corner  of  her  eye.  In  a  word, 
'  she  loved  me  for  the  dangers  I  had  passed, '  as  Othello 
says.  Well,  laugh  away  if  you  like,  but  it's  truth  I  am 
telling  you."  At  this  part  of  Mr.  O'Leary's  story  we  all 
found  it  impossible  to  withstand  the  ludicrous  mock-heroic 
of  his  face  and  tone  and  laughed  loud  and  long.  When  we 
at  length  became  silent  he  resumed :  "  Before  three  weeks 
had  passed  over,  I  had  proposed  and  was  accepted,  —  just 


MR.  O'LEARY.  35 

your  own  way,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  taking  the  ball  at  the  hop ; 
the  very  same  way  you  did  at  Cheltenham,  the  time  the 
lady  jilted  you  and  ran  off  with  your  friend  Mr.  Waller. 
I  read  it  all  in  the  news,  though  I  was  then  in  Norway, 
fishing."  Here  there  was  another  interruption  by  a  laugh, 
—  not,  however,  at  Mr.  O'Leary's  expense.  I  gave  him  a 
most  menacing  look,  while  he  continued :  "  The  settlements 
were  soon  drawn  up,  and  consisted,  like  all  great  diplomatic 
documents,  of  a  series  of  '  gains  and  compensations : '  thus, 
she  was  not  to  taste  anything  stronger  than  kirschwasser  or 
Nantz  brandy ;  and  I  limited  myself  to  a  pound  of  short- 
cut weekly;  and  so  on.  But  to  proceed:  the  lady,  being  a 
good  Catholic,  insisted  upon  being  married  by  a  priest  of 
her  own  persuasion,  before  the  performance  of  the  cere- 
mony at  the  British  embassy  in  Paris ;  to  this  I  could  offer 
no  objection,  and  we  were  accordingly  united  in  the  holy 
bonds  the  same  morning,  after  signing  the  law  papers." 
"Then,  Mr.  O'Leary,  you  are  really  a  married  man." 
"That 's  the  very  point  I  'm  coming  to,  ma'am;  for  I  've 
consulted  all  the  jurists  upon  the  subject,  and  they  never 
can  agree.  But  you  shall  hear.  I  despatched  a  polite  note 
to  Bishop  Luscombe,  and  made  every  arrangement  for  the 
approaching  ceremony,  took  a  quarter  in  the  Bue  du 
Helder,  near  the  Estaminet,  and  looked  forward  with 
anxiety  for  the  day  which  was  to  make  me  happy,  for 
our  marriage  in  Lyons  was  only  a  kind  of  betrothal.  Now, 
my  fair  friend  had  but  one  difficulty  remaining,  poor  dear 
soul,  —  I  refrain  from  mentioning  her  name  for  delicacy's 
sake,  — but  poor  dear  Mrs.  Ram  could  not  bear  the  notion 
of  our  going  up  to  Paris  in  the  same  conveyance,  for  long 
as  she  had  lived  abroad,  she  had  avoided  everything  French, 
even  the  language;  so  she  proposed  that  I  should  go  in  the 
early  diligence,  which  starts  at  four  o'clock  in  the  morning, 
while  she  took  her  departure  at  nine.  Thus  I  should  be 
some  hours  sooner  in  Paris,  and  ready  to  receive  her  on 
her  arriving,  besides  sparing  her  bashfulness  all  reproach  of 
our  travelling  together.  It  was  no  use  my  telling  her  that 
I  always  travelled  on  foot  and  hated  a  diligence ;  she  coolly 


36  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

replied  that  at  our  time  of  life  we  could  not  spare  the  time 
necessary  for  a  pilgrimage  to  Jerusalem,  for  so  she  supposed 
the  journey  from  Lyons  to  Paris  to  be ;  so  fearing  lest  any 
doubt  might  be  thrown  upon  the  ardor  of  my  attachment,  I 
yielded  at  once,  remembering  at  the  moment  what  my  poor 
friend  Tom  Bing —     0  Lord,  I  'in  at  it  again!  " 

"Sir,  I  did  not  hear." 

"Nothing,  ma'am;  I  was  just  going  to  observe  that  ladies 
of  a  certain  time  of  life,  and  widows  especially,  like  a  lover 
that  seems  a  little  ardent  or  so,  all  the  better."  Here  Mrs. 
Bingham  blushed,  her  daughter  bridled,  and  I  nearly  suffo- 
cated with  shame  and  suppressed  laughter. 

"After  a  most  tender  farewell  of  my  bride,  or  wife,  I 
don't  know  which,  I  retired  for  the  night  with  a  mind  va- 
cillating between  my  hopes  of  happiness  and  my  fears  for 
the  result  of  a  journey  so  foreign  to  all  my  habits  of  travel- 
ling, and  in  which  I  could  not  but  tremble  at  the  many 
casualties  my  habitual  laziness  and  dislike  to  any  hours 
but  my  own  choosing  might  involve  me  in. 

"  I  had  scarcely  lain  down  in  bed  ere  these  thoughts  took 
such  possession  of  me  that  sleep,  for  once  in  my  life,  was 
out  of  the  question;  and  then  the  misery  of  getting  up  at 
four  in  the  morning,  putting  on  your  clothes  by  the  flicker- 
ing light  of  the  porter's  candle,  getting  your  boots  on  the 
wrong  feet,  and  all  that  kind  of  annoyance,  —  I  am  sure  I 
fretted  myself  into  the  feeling  of  a  downright  martyr  be- 
fore an  hour  was  over.  '  Well,  at  least, '  thought  I,  '  one 
thing  is  well  done,  —  I  have  been  quite  right  in  coming  to 
sleep  at  the  Messageries  Hotel,  where  the  diligence  starts 
from,  or  the  chances  are  ten  to  one  that  I  never  should 
wake  till  the  time  was  past.  Now,  however,  they  are  sure 
to  call  me,  so  I  may  sleep  tranquilly  till  then.'  Mean- 
while I  had  forgotten  to  pack  my  trunk,  and  my  papers, 
etc.,  lay  all  about  the  room  in  a  state  of  considerable  con- 
fusion. I  rose  at  once  with  all  the  despatch  I  could  mus- 
ter; this  took  a  long  time  to  effect,  and  it  was  nearly  two 
o'clock  ere  I  finished  and  sat  down  to  smoke  a  solitary 
pipe,  —  the  last,  as  I  supposed,  it  might  be  my  lot  to  enjoy 


ME,  O'LEARY.  37 

for  Heaven  knows  how  long,  Mrs.  R.  having  expressed, 
rather  late  in  our  intimacy,  I  confess,  strong  opinions 
against  tobacco  within  doors. 

"  When  I  had  finished  my  little  sac  of  the  '  weed, '  the 
clock  struck  three,  and  I  started  to  think  how  little  time  I 
was  destined  to  have  in  bed.  In  bed!  'Why,'  said  I, 
'  there  is  no  use  thinking  of  it  now,  for  I  shall  scarcely 
have  lain  down  ere  I  shall  be  obliged  to  get  up  again.'  So 
thinking,  I  set  about  dressing  myself  for  the  road;  and  as 
the  season  was  winter  and  the  weather  dreadfully  severe, 
took  care  to  array  myself  in  all  the  covering  I  could  lay 
hands  upon,  and  by  the  time  I  had  enveloped  myself  in  a 
pair  of  long  Hungarian  gaiters,  and  a  kurtcha  of  sheep's 
wool,  with  a  brown  bearskin  outside,  with  a  Welsh  wig 
and  a  pair  of  large  dark  glass  goggles  to  defend  the  eyes 
from  the  snow,  I  was  not  only  perfectly  impervious  to  all 
effects  of  the  weather,  but  so  thoroughly  defended  from  any 
influence  of  sight  or  sound  that  a  volcano  might  be  hissing 
and  thundering  within  ten  yards  of  me  without  attracting 
my  slightest  attention.  Now,  I  thought,  instead  of  re- 
maining here,  I  '11  just  step  down  to  the  coach  and  get 
snugly  into  the  diligence,  and  having  secured  the  corner  of 
the  coupe,  resign  myself  to  sleep  with  the  certainty  of  not 
being  left  behind,  and  probably,  too,  be  some  miles  on  my 
journey  before  awaking. 

"I  accordingly  went  downstairs,  and  to  my  surprise 
found  even  at  that  early  hour  that  many  of  the  gargons  of 
the  house  were  stirring  and  bustling  about,  getting  all  the 
luggage  up  in  the  huge  wooden  leviathan  that  was  to  con- 
vey us  on  our  road.  There  they  stood,  like  bees  around  a 
hive,  clustering  and  buzzing,  and  all  so  engaged  that  with 
difficulty  could  I  get  an  answer  to  my  question  of  what 
diligence  it  was. 

111  La  diligence  pour  Paris,  monsieur.1 

"'Ah!  all  right,  then,'  said  I;  so,  watching  an  opportu- 
nity to  do  so  unobserved,  for  I  supposed  they  might  have 
laughed  at  me,  I  stepped  quietly  into  the  coupe,  and  amid 
the  creaking  of  cordage  and  the  thumping  of  feet  on  the 


38  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

roof,  fell  as  sound  asleep  as  ever  I  did  in  my  life,  these 
sounds  coming  to  my  muffled  ears  soft  as  the  echoes  on  the 
Rhine.  When  it  was  that  I  awoke,  I  cannot  say;  but  as  I 
rubbed  my  eyes  and  yawned  after  a  most  refreshing  sleep, 
I  perceived  that  it  was  still  quite  dark  all  around,  and  that 
the  diligence  was  standing  before  the  door  of  some  inn  and 
not  moving.  '  Ah ! '  thought  I,  '  this  is  the  first  stage ; 
how  naturally  one  always  wakes  at  the  change  of  horses, 
—  a  kind  of  instinct  implanted  by  Providence,  I  suppose, 
to  direct  us  to  a  little  refreshment  on  the  road.'  With 
these  pious  feelings  I  let  down  the  glass  and  called  out  to 
the  gargon  for  a  glass  of  brandy  and  a  cigar.  While  he  was 
bringing  them,  I  had  time  to  look  about,  and  perceived,  to 
my  very  great  delight,  that  I  had  the  whole  coupe  to  my- 
self. '  Are  there  any  passengers  coming  in  here?'  said  I, 
as  the  waiter  came  forward  with  my  liquor.  '  I  should 
think  not,  sir, '  said  the  fellow,  with  a  leer.  '  Then  I  shall 
have  the  whole  coupe  to  myself?  '  said  I.  '  Monsieur  need 
have  no  fear  of  being  disturbed;  I  can  safely  assure  him 
that  he  will  have  no  one  there  for  the  next  twenty-four 
hours.'  This  was  really  pleasant  intelligence;  so  I 
chucked  him  a  ten-sou  piece,  and  closing  up  the  win- 
dow, as  the  morning  was  cold,  once  more  lay  back  to  sleep 
with  a  success  that  has  never  failed  me.  It  was  to  a 
bright  blue  cloudless  sky,  and  the  sharp  clear  air  of  a  fine 
day  in  winter,  that  I  at  length  opened  my  eyes.  I  pulled 
out  my  watch,  and  discovered  it  was  exactly  two  o'clock ; 
I  next  lowered  the  glass  and  looked  about  me,  and  very 
much  to  my  surprise  discovered  that  the  diligence  was  not 
moving,  but  standing  very  peaceably  in  a  very  crowded  con- 
gregation of  other  similar  and  dissimilar  conveyances,  all 
of  which  seemed,  I  thought,  to  labor  under  some  physical 
ailment,  some  wanting  a  box,  others  a  body,  etc.,  and,  in 
fact,  suggesting  the  idea  of  an  infirmary  for  old  and  dis- 
abled carriages  of  either  sex,  mails  and  others.  '  Oh !  I 
have  it,'  cried  I;  'we  are  arrived  at  Mont-Geran,  and  they 
are  all  at  dinner,  and  from  my  being  alone  in  the  coupi, 
they  have  forgotten  to  call  me.'     I  immediately  opened  the 


MR.   O'LEAEY.  39 

door  and  stepped  out  into  the  inn-yard,  crowded  with  con- 
ducteurs,  grooms,  and  ostlers,  who,  I  thought,  looked  rather 
surprised  at  seeing  me  emerge  from  the  diligence. 

"'  You  did  not  know  I  was  there?  '  said  I,  with  a  know- 
ing wink  at  one  of  them  as  I  passed. 

" :l Assurement  non,'  said  the  fellow,  with  a  laugh,  that 
was  the  signal  for  all  the  others  to  join  in  it. 

" '  Is  the  table  d'hote  over? '  said  I,  regardless  of  the 
mirth  around  me. 

"'  Monsieur  is  just  in  time,'  said  the  waiter,  who  hap- 
pened to  pass  with  a  soup-tureen  in  his  hand ;  '  have  the 
goodness  to  step  this  way.' 

"  I  had  barely  time  to  remark  the  close  resemblance  of  the 
waiter  to  the  fellow  who  presented  me  with  my  brandy  and 
cigar  in  the  morning,  when  he  ushered  me  into  a  large 
room,  with  about  forty  persons  sitting  at  a  long  table,  evi- 
dently waiting  with  impatience  for  the  potage  to  begin  their 
dinner.  Whether  it  was  they  enjoyed  the  joke  of  having 
neglected  to  call  me,  or  that  they  were  laughing  at  my 
travelling  costume,  I  cannot  say ;  but  the  moment  I  came  in, 
I  could  perceive  a  general  titter  run  through  the  assembly. 

" '  Not  too  late,  after  all,  gentlemen, '  said  I,  marching 
gravely  up  to  the  table. 

" '  Monsieur  is  in  excellent  time, '  said  the  host,  making 
room  for  me  beside  his  chair. 

"  Notwithstanding  the  incumbrance  of  my  weighty  habil- 
iments, I  proceeded  to  do  ample  justice  to  the  viands  before 
me,  apologizing  laughingly  to  the  host  by  pleading  a  trav- 
eller's appetite. 

" '  Then  you  have,  perhaps,  come  far  this  morning, '  said 
a  gentleman  opposite. 

" '  Yes, '  said  I,  '  I  have  been  on  the  road  since  four 
o'clock.' 

"'And  how  are  the  roads?  '  said  another. 

" '  Very  bad, '  said  I,  '  the  first  few  stages  from  Lyons ; 
afterwards  much  better. '  This  was  said  at  a  venture,  as  I 
began  to  be  ashamed  of  being  always  asleep  before  my  fel- 
low-travellers.   They  did  not  seem,  however,  to  understand 


40  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

me  perfectly;  and  one  old  fellow,  putting  down  his  specta- 
cles from  his  forehead,  leaned  over  and  said,  — 

"'And  where,  may  I  ask,  has  Monsieur  come  from  this 
morning? ' 

'"  From  Lyons,'  said  I,  with  the  proud  air  of  a  man  who 
has  done  a  stout  feat,  and  is  not  ashamed  of  the  exploit. 

"'From  Lyons!'  said  one.  'From  Lyons!'  cried  an- 
other.    '  From  Lyons ! '  repeated  a  third. 

"'Yes,'  said  I.  'What  the  devil  is  so  strange  in  it? 
Travelling  is  so  quick  nowadays,  one  thinks  nothing  of 
twenty  leagues  before  dinner.' 

"The  infernal  shout  of  laughing  that  followed  my  expla- 
nation is  still  in  my  ears.  From  one  end  of  the  table  to 
the  other  there  was  one  continued  ha,  ha,  ha!  From  the 
greasy  host  to  the  little  hunchbacked  waiter,  they  were  all 
grinning  away. 

"'  And  how  did  Monsieur  travel?'  said  the  old  gentle- 
man, who  seemed  to  carry  on  the  prosecution  against  me. 

"'  In  the  coupe  of  the  Aigle  noir,'  said  I,  giving  the  name 
with  some  pride  that  I  was  not  altogether  ignorant  of  the 
conveyance. 

" '  Then  you  should  certainly  not  complain  of  the  roads, ' 
said  the  host,  chuckling;  '  for  the  only  journey  that  dili- 
gence has  made  this  day  has  been  from  the  street-door  to 
the  inn.  For  as  they  found,  when  the  luggage  was  nearly 
packed,  that  the  axle  was  almost  broken  through,  they 
wheeled  it  round  to  the  cour,  and  prepared  another  for  the 
travellers.' 

"'  And  where  am  I  now? '  said  I. 

"'  In  Lyons,'  said  twenty  voices,  half  choked  with  laugh- 
ter at  my  question. 

"I  was  thunderstruck  at  the  news  at  first;  but  as  I  pro- 
ceeded with  my  dinner  I  joined  in  the  mirth  of  the  party, 
which  certainly  was  not  diminished  on  my  telling  them  the 
object  of  my  intended  journey. 

" '  I  think,  young  man, '  said  the  old  fellow  with  the 
spectacles,  '  that  you  should  take  the  occurrence  as  a  warn- 
ing of  Providence  that  marriage  will  not  suit  you.' 


MR.   O'LEARY.  41 

"  I  began  to  be  of  the  same  opinion ;  but  then,  there  was 
the  jointure.  To  be  sure,  I  was  to  give  up  tobacco,  and 
perhaps  I  should  not  be  as  free  to  ramble  about  as  when  a 
gargon.  So,  taking  all  things  into  consideration,  I  ordered 
in  another  bottle  of  Burgundy  to  drink  Mrs.  Ram's  health, 
got  my  passport  vised  for  Bareges,  and  set  out  for  the 
Pyrenees  the  same  evening." 

"And  have  you  never  heard  anything  more  of  the  lady?  " 
said  Mrs.  Bingham. 

"Oh,  yes!  She  was  faithful  to  the  last;  for  I  found  out 
when  at  Borne  last  winter  that  she  had  offered  a  reward  for 
me  in  the  newspapers,  and  indeed  had  commenced  a  regular 
pursuit  of  me  through  the  whole  Continent.  And  to  tell 
the  real  fact,  I  should  not  now  fancy  turning  my  steps  to- 
wards Paris  if  I  had  not  very  tolerable  information  that 
she  is  in  full  cry  after  me  through  the  Wengern  Alp,  I 
having  contrived  a  paragraph  in  '  Galignani '  to  seduce  her 
thither,  and  where,  with  the  blessing  of  Providence,  if  the 
snow  sets  in  early,  she  must  pass  the  winter." 


CHAPTER  IV. 

PARIS. 

Nothing  more  worthy  of  recording  occurred  before  our 
arrival  at  Meurice's  on  the  third  day  of  our  journey.  My 
friend  O'Leary  had,  with  his  usual  good  fortune,  become 
indispensable  to  his  new  acquaintance,  and  it  was  not  alto- 
gether without  some  little  lurking  discontent  that  I  per- 
ceived how  much  less  often  my  services  were  called  in 
request  since  his  having  joined  our  party ;  his  information, 
notwithstanding  its  very  scanty  extent,  was  continually 
relied  upon,  and  his  very  imperfect  French  everlastingly 
called  into  requisition  to  interpret  a  question  for  the  ladies. 
"Yes,"  thought  I,  "  '  Othello's  occupation  's  gone.'  One  of 
two  things  has  certainly  happened,  —  either  Mrs.  Bingham 
and  her  daughter  have  noticed  my  continued  abstraction  of 
mind,  and  have  attributed  it  to  the  real  cause,  the  preoccu- 
pation of  my  affections,  or  thinking,  on  the  other  hand, 
that  I  am  desperately  in  love  with  one  or  other  of  them, 
have  thought  that  a  little  show  of  preference  to  Mr. 
O'Leary  may  stimulate  me  to  a  proposal  at  once."  In 
either  case  I  resolved  to  lose  no  time  in  taking  my  leave, 
which  there  could  be  no  difficulty  in  doing  now,  as  the 
ladies  had  reached  their  intended  destination,  and  had 
numerous  friends  in  Paris  to  advise  and  assist  them;  be- 
sides that  I  had  too  long  neglected  the  real  object  of  my 
trip,  and  should  lose  no  time  in  finding  out  the  Callonbys, 
and  at  once  learn  what  prospect  of  success  awaited  me  in 
that  quarter.  Leaving  my  fair  friends,  then,  to  refresh 
themselves  after  the  journey,  and  consigning  Mr.  O'Leary 
to  the  enjoyment  of  his  meerschaum,  through  the  aid  of 
which  he  had  rendered  his  apartment  like  a  Dutch  swamp 
in  autumn,  the  only  portion  of  his  owu  figure  visible  through 


PARIS.  43 

the  mist  being  his  short  legs  and  heavy  shoes,  I  set  forth 
at  last. 

On  reaching  the  house  in  the  Rue  de  la  Paix,  where  the 
Callonbys  had  resided,  I  learned  that  they  were  still  at 
Baden,  and  were  not  expected  in  Paris  for  some  weeks; 
that  Lord  Kilkee  had  arrived  that  morning,  and  was  then 
dining  at  the  Embassy,  having  left  an  invitation  for  me  to 
dine  with  him  on  the  following  day,  if  I  happened  to  call. 
As  I  turned  from  the  door,  uncertain  whither  to  direct  my 
steps,  I  walked  on  unconsciously  towards  the  Boulevard, 
and,  occupied  as  I  was,  thinking  over  all  the  chances  before 
me,  did  not  perceive  where  I  stood  till  the  bright  glare  of  a 
large  gas-lamp  over  my  head  apprised  me  that  I  was  at  the 
door  of  the  well-known  Salon  des  Etrangers,  at  the  corner 
of  the  Rue  Richelieu;  carriages,  citaclines,  and  vigilantes 
were  crowding,  crashing,  and  clattering  on  all  sides,  as 
the  host  of  fashion  and  the  gaming-table  were  hastening  to 
their  champ  de  bataille.  Not  being  a  member  of  the  Salon, 
and  having  little  disposition  to  enter  if  I  had  been,  I  stood 
for  some  minutes  looking  at  the  crowd  as  it  continued  to 
press  on  towards  the  splendid  and  brilliantly  lighted  stairs 
which  led  from  the  very  street  to  the  rooms  of  this  palace, 
for  such,  in  the  magnificence  and  luxury  of  its  decorations, 
it  really  was.  As  I  was  on  the  very  eve  of  turning  away, 
a  large  and  very  handsome  cab-horse  turned  the  corner 
from  the  Boulevard,  with  the  most  perfect  appointment  of 
harness  and  carriage  I  had  seen  for  a  long  time. 

While  I  continued  to  admire  the  taste  and  propriety  of 
the  equipage,  a  young  man  in  deep  mourning  sprang  from 
the  inside  and  stood  upon  the  pavement  before  me.  "A 
deux  heures,  Charles,"  said  he  to  his  servant,  as  the  cab 
turned  slowly  round.  The  voice  struck  me  as  well  known. 
I  waited  till  he  approached  the  lamp,  to  catch  a  glimpse  of 
the  face,  and  what  was  my  surprise  to  recognize  my  cousin, 
Guy  Lorrequer,  of  the  10th,  whom  I  had  not  met  with  for 
six  years  before.  My  first  impulse  was  not  to  make  myself 
known  to  him.  Our  mutual  position  with  regard  to  Lady 
Jane  was  sq  mu;ch  a  mystery,  as  regarded  myself,  that  I 


44  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

feared  the  result  of  any  meeting  until  I  was  sufficiently 
aware  of  how  matters  stood,  and  whether  we  were  to  meet 
as  friends  and  relations,  or  rivals,  and  consequently 
enemies. 

Before  I  had  time  to  take  my  resolution,  Guy  had  recog- 
nized me,  and  seizing  me  by  the  hand  with  both  his,  called, 
"  Harry,  my  old  friend,  how  are  you?  How  long  have  you 
been  here?  And  never  to  call  on  me!  Why,  man,  wdiat  is 
the  meaning  of  this?"  Before  I  had  time  to  say  that  I 
was  only  a  few  hours  in  Paris,  he  again  interrupted  me  by 
saying,  "And  how  comes  it  that  you  are  not  in  mourning? 
You  must  surely  have  heard  it !  " 

"Heard  what?"  I  cried,  nearly  hoarse  from  agitation. 

"Our  poor  old  friend  Sir  Guy  —  didn't  you  know?  —  is 
dead." 

Only  those  who  have  felt  how  strong  the  ties  of  kindred 
are,  as  they  decrease  in  number,  can  tell  how  this  news  fell 
upon  my  heart.  All  my  poor  uncle's  kindnesses  came  full 
upon  my  memory;  his  affectionate  letters  of  advice,  his 
well-meant  chidings  too,  even  dearer  to  me  than  his  praise 
and  approval,  completely  unmanned  me;  and  I  stood 
speechless  and  powerless  before  my  cousin  as  he  continued 
to  detail  to  me  the  rapid  progress  of  Sir  Guy's  malady,  — 
an  attack  of  gout  in  the  head,  —  which  carried  him  off  in 
three  days.  Letters  had  been  sent  to  me  in  different  places, 
but  none  reached ;  and  at  the  very  moment  the  clerk  of  my 
uncle's  lawyer  was  in  pursuit  of  me  through  the  Highlands, 
where  some  mistaken  information  had  induced  him  to  fol- 
low me. 

"You  are,  therefore,"  continued  Guy,  "unaware  that  our 
uncle  has  dealt  so  fairly  by  you,  and,  indeed,  by  both  of  us. 
I  have  got  the  Somersetshire  estates,  which  go  with  the 
baronetcy,  but  the  Cumberland  property  is  all  yours ;  and 
I  heartily  wish  you  joy  of  having  nearly  eight  thousand 
per  annum,  and  one  of  the  sweetest  villas  that  ever  man 
fancied  on  Derwentwater.  But  come  along  here,"  con- 
tinued he,  and  he  led  me  through  the  crowded  corridor  and 
up  the  wide  stair.     "  I  have  much  to  tell  you,  and  we  can 


PARIS.  45 

be  perfectly  alone  here;   no  one  will  trouble  themselves 
with  us." 

Unconscious  of  all  around  me,  I  followed  Guy  along  the 
gilded  and  glittering  lobby  which  led  to  the  Salon,  and  it 
was  only  as  the  servant  in  rich  livery  came  forward  to  take 
my  hat  and  cane  that  I  remembered  where  I  was.  Then 
the  full  sense  of  all  I  had  been  listening  to  rushed  upon 
me,  and  the  unfitness,  and  indeed  the  indecency,  of  the 
place  for  such  communications  as  we  were  engaged  in  came 
most  forcibly  before  me.  Sir  Guy,  it  is  true,  had  always 
preferred  my  cousin  to  me ;  he  it  was  who  was  always  des- 
tined to  succeed  both  to  his  title  and  his  estates,  and  his 
wildness  and  extravagance  had  ever  met  with  a  milder  re- 
buke and  weaker  chastisement  than  my  follies  and  my  mis- 
fortunes. Yet  still  he  was  my  last  remaining  relative,  — 
the  only  one  I  possessed  in  all  the  world  to  whom  in  any 
difficulty  or  trial  I  had  to  look  up ;  and  I  felt  in  the  very 
midst  of  my  newly  acquired  wealth  and  riches,  poorer  and 
more  alone  than  ever  I  had  done  in  my  lifetime.  I  fol- 
lowed Guy  to  a  small  and  dimly-lighted  cabinet  off  the 
great  Salon,  where,  having  seated  ourselves,  he  proceeded 
to  detail  to  me  the  various  events  which  a  few  short  weeks 
had  accomplished.  Of  himself  he  spoke  but  little,  and 
never  once  alluded  to  the  Callonbys  at  all,  —  indeed,  all  I 
could  learn  was  that  he  had  left  the  army,  and  purposed 
remaining  for  the  winter  at  Paris,  where  he  appeared  to 
have  entered  into  all  its  gayety  and  dissipation  at  once. 

"Of  course,"  said  he,  "you  will  give  up  '  sodgering  '  now, 
—  at  the  best  it  is  but  poor  sport  after  five  and  twenty,  and 
is  perfectly  unendurable  when  a  man  has  the  means  of 
pushing  himself  in  the  gay  world.  And  now,  Harry,  let 
us  mix  a  little  among  the  mob  here ;  for  Messieurs  les  Ban- 
quiers  don't  hold  people  in  estimation  who  come  here  only 
for  the  chapons  au  riz  and  the  champagne  frappe,  as  we 
should  seem  to  do  were  we  to  stay  here  much  longer." 

Such  wa.s  the  whirl  of  my  thoughts,  and  so  great  the 
confusion  in  my  ideas  from  all  I  had  just  heard,  that  I 
felt   myself   implicitly  following   every   direction   of  my 


£6  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

cousin  with  a  child-like  obedience,  of  the  full  extent  of 
which  I  became  only  conscious  when  I  found  myself  seated 
at  the  table  of  the  Salon,  between  my  cousin  Guy  and  an 
old,  hard-visaged,  pale-countenanced  man,  who,  he  told  me 
in  a  whisper,  was  Polignac  the  minister. 

What  a  study  for  the  man  who  would  watch  the  passions 
and  emotions  of  his  fellow-men  would  the  table  of  a  rovge- 
et-noir  gambling-house  present;  the  skill  and  dexterity 
which  games  of  other  kinds  require  being  here  wanting, 
leave  the  player  free  to  the  full  abandonment  of  the  pas- 
sion. The  interest  is  not  a  gradually  increasing  or  vacil- 
lating one,  as  fortune  and  knowledge  of  the  game  favor; 
the  result  is  uninfluenced  by  anything  of  his  doing:  with 
the  last  turned  card  of  the  croupier  is  he  rich  or  ruined; 
and  thus  in  the  very  abstraction  of  the  anxiety  is  this  the 
most  painfully  exciting  of  all  gambling  whatever.  The 
very  rattle  of  the  dice-box  to  the  hazard-player  is  a  relief; 
and  the  thought  that  he  is  in  some  way  instrumental  to  his 
good  or  bad  fortune  gives  a  turn  to  his  thoughts.  There  is 
something  so  like  the  inevitable  character  of  fate  associated 
with  the  result  of  a  chance,  which  you  can  in  no  way  affect 
or  avert,  that  I  have,  notwithstanding  a  strong  bias  for 
play,  ever  dreaded  and  avoided  the  rouge-et-noir  table. 
Hitherto  prudential  motives  had  their  share  in  the  resolve; 
a  small  loss  at  play  becomes  a  matter  of  importance  to  a 
sub  in  a  marching  regiment;  and  therefore  I  was  firm  in 
my  determination  to  avoid  the  gambling-table.  Now,  my 
fortunes  were  altered;  and  as  I  looked  at  the  heap  of  shin- 
ing louis  d'or  which  Guy  pushed  before  me  in  exchange  for 
a  billet  de  banque  of  large  amount,  I  felt  the  full  importance 
of  my  altered  position,  mingling  with  the  old  and  long- 
practised  prejudices  which  years  had  been  accumulating  to 
fix.  There  is,  besides,  some  wonderful  fascination  to  most 
men  in  the  very  aspect  of  high  play.  To  pit  your  fortune 
against  that  of  another;  to  see  whether  or  not  your  luck 
shall  not  exceed  some  other's, — are  feelings  that  have  a 
place  in  most  bosoms,  and  are  certainly,  if  not  naturally 
existing,  most  easily  generated  in  the  bustle  and  excite- 


PARIS.  47 

ment  of  the  gambling-house.  The  splendor  of  the  decora- 
tions, the  rich  profusion  of  gilded  ornaments,  the  large  and 
gorgeously  framed  mirrors,  the  sparkling  lustres,  mingled 
their  effect  with  the  perfumed  air  of  the  apartment,  filled 
with  orange-trees  and  other  aromatic  shrubs,  the  dress  of 
the  company,  among  whom  were  many  ladies  in  costumes 
not  inferior  to  those  of  a  court,  the  glitter  of  diamonds,  the 
sparkle  of  stars  and  decorations,  rendered  more  magical  by 
knowing  that  the  wearers  were  names  in  history.  There, 
with  his  round  but  ample  shoulder  and  large,  massive  head, 
covered  with  long,  snow-white  hair,  stands  one,  the  maker 
and  unmaker  of  kings,  watching  with  a  look  of  ill-concealed 
anxiety  the  progress  of  his  game.  Here  is  Soult,  with  his 
dogged  look  and  beetle  brow;  there  stands  Balzac,  the 
author,  —  his  gains  here  are  less  derived  from  the  betting 
than  the  bettors;  he  is  evidently  "making  his  own"  of 
some  of  them,  while  in  the  seeming  bonhomie  of  his  care- 
less manner  and  easy  abandon  they  scruple  not  to  trust 
him  with  anecdotes  and  traits  that  from  the  crucible  of  his 
fiery  imagination  come  forth  like  the  purified  gold  from  the 
furnace.  And  there,  —  look  at  that  old  and  weather-beaten 
man,  with  gray  eyebrows  and  mustachios,  who  throws  from 
the  breast  pocket  of  his  frock,  ever  and  anon,  a  handful  of 
gold  pieces  upon  the  table ;  he  evidently  neither  knows  nor 
cares  for  the  amount,  for  the  banker  himself  is  obliged  to 
count  over  the  stake  for  him.  That  is  Bliicher,  the  never- 
wanting  attendant  at  the  Salon;  he  has  been  an  immense 
loser,  but  plays  on,  and  with  the  same  stern  perseverance 
with  which  he  would  pour  his  bold  cavalry  through  a  ravine 
torn  by  artillery,  he  stands  by  the  still  waning  chance  with 
a  courage  that  never  falters. 

One  strong  feature  of  the  levelling  character  of  a  taste  for 
play  has  never  ceased  to  impress  me  most  forcibly ;  not  only 
do  the  individual  peculiarities  of  the  man  give  way  before 
the  all-absorbing  passion,  but,  stranger  still,  the  very  boldest 
traits  of  nationality  even  fade  and  disappear  before  it,  and 
man  seems,  under  the  high-pressure  power  of  this  greatest 
of  all  stimulants,  resolved  into  a  most  abstract  state. 


48  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

Among  all  the  traits  which  distinguish  Frenchmen  from 
natives  of  every  country,  none  is  mure  prominent  than  a 
kind   of    never-failing   elasticity   of    temperament   which 
seems  almost  to  defy  all  the  power  of  misfortune  to  de- 
press.    Let  what  will   happen,  the  Frenchman  seems  to 
possess  some  strong  resource  within  himself,  in  his  ardent 
temperament,  upon  which  he  can  draw  at  will ;  and  whether 
on  the  day  after  a  defeat,  the  moment  of  being  deceived  in 
his  strongest  hopes  of  returned  affection,  the  overthrow  of 
some  long-cherished  wish,   it  matters  not,  he  never  gives 
way  entirely.     But  see  him  at  the  gaming-table ;  watch  the 
intense,  the  aching  anxiety  with  which  his  eye  follows  every 
card  as  it  falls  from  the  hand  of  the  croupier;  behold  the 
look  of  cold  despair  that  tracks  his  stake  as  the  banker 
rakes  it  in  among  his  gains,  —  and  you  will  at  once  per- 
ceive that  here,  at  least,  his  wonted  powers  fail  him.     No 
jest  escapes  the  lips  of  one  that  would  joke  upon  the  steps 
of  the  guillotine.     The  mocker  who  would  jeer  at  the  tor- 
ments of  revolution  stands  like  a  coward  quailing  before 
the  impassive  eye  and  pale  cheek  of  a  croupier.     While  I 
continued   to   occupy   myself    by   observing   the   different 
groups  about  me,  I  had  been  almost  mechanically  follow- 
ing the  game,  placing  at  each  deal  some  gold  upon  the 
table;  the  result,  however,  had  interested  me  so  slightly 
that  it  was  only  by  remarking  the  attention  my  game  had 
excited  in  others  that  my  own  was  drawn  towards  it.     I 
then  perceived  that  I  had  permitted  my  winnings  to  accu- 
mulate upon  the  board,  and  that  in  the  very  deal  then  com- 
mencing, I  had  a  stake  of  nearly  five  hundred  pounds. 

"Faites  voire  jeuf  Le  jeic  est  fait,"  said  the  croupier; 
"  trente-deux. " 

"  You  have  lost,  by  Jove !  "  said  Guy,  in  a  low  whisper, 
in  which  I  could  detect  some  trait  of  agitation. 

"  Trente-et-un,"  added  the  croupier.  "Rouge  perd,  et 
couleur. " 

There  was  a  regular  buzz  of  wonder  through  the  room  at 
my  extraordinary  luck,  for  thus,  with  every  chance  against 
me,  I  had  won  again. 


PARIS.  49 

As  the  croupier  placed  the  billets  de  banque  upon  the 
table  I  overheard  the  muttered  commendations  of  an  old 
veteran  behind  me  upon  the  coolness  and  judgment  of  my 
play.  "So  much  for  fortune,"  thought  I.  "My  judgment 
consists  in  a  perfect  ignorance  of  the  chances,  and  my  cool- 
ness is  merely  a  thorough  indifference  to  success."  Whether 
it  was  now  that  flattery  had  its  effect  upon  me,  or  that  the 
passion  for  play,  so  long  dormant,  had  suddenly  seized  hold 
upon  me,  I  know  not,  but  my  attention  became  from  that 
moment  riveted  upon  the  game,  and  I  played  every  deal. 
Guy,  who  had  been  from  the  first  betting  with  the  indif- 
ferent success  which  I  have  so  often  observed  to  attend 
upon  the  calculations  of  old  and  experienced  gamblers,  now 
gave  up,  and  employed  himself  merely  in  watching  my 
game. 

"Harry,"  said  he,  at  last,  "I  am  completely  puzzled  as 
to  whether  you  are  merely  throwing  down  your  louis  at 
hazard,  or  are  not  the  deepest  player  I  have  ever  met 
with." 

"You  shall  see,"  said  I,  as  I  stooped  over  towards  the 
banker  and  whispered,  "  How  far  is  the  betting  permitted?  " 

"Fifteen  thousand  francs,"  said  the  croupier,  with  a 
look  of  surprise. 

"  Here  goes,  then !  "  said  I ;  "  quinze  mille  francs,  — 
rouge" 

In  a  moment  the  rouge  won,  and  the  second  deal  I 
repeated  the  bet,  and  so  continuing  on  with  the  like  suc- 
cess. When  I  was  preparing  my  rouleau  for  the  fifth,  the 
banker  rose,  and  saying,  ''Messieurs,  le  banque  est  fermee 
pour  ce  soir,"  proceeded  to  lock  his  cassette  and  close  the 
table. 

"You  are  satisfied  now,"  said  Guy,  rising;  "you  see  you 
have  broken  the  bank.  And  a  very  pretty  incident  to  com- 
mence with,  on  your  first  introduction  to  a  campaign  in 
Paris." 

Having  changed  my  gold  for  notes,  I  stuffed  them,  with 
an  air  of  well-affected  carelessness,  into  my  pocket,  and 
strolled  through  the  Salon,  where  I  had  now  become  an 

VOL.  II.  —  4 


50  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

object  of  considerably  more  interest  than  all  the  marshals 
and  ministers  about  me. 

"Now,   Hal,"  said  Guy,  "I'll  just  order  our  supper  in 
the  cabinet,  and  join  you  in  a  moment." 

As  I  remained  lor  some  minutes  awaiting  Guy's  return, 
my  attention  was  drawn  towards  a  crowd,  in  a  smaller 
salon,  among  whom  the  usual  silent  decorum  of  the  play- 
table  seemed  held  in  but  small  respect,  for  every  instant 
some  burst  of  hearty  laughter,  or  some  open  expression  of 
joy  or  anger  burst  forth,  by  which  I  immediately  perceived 
that  they  were  the  votaries  of  the  roulette-table,  —  a  game 
at  which  the  strict  propriety  and  etiquette  ever  maintained 
at  rouge-et-noir  are  never  exacted.  As  I  pressed  nearer,  to 
discover  the  cause  of  the  mirth,  which  every  moment  seemed 
to  augment,  guess  my  surprise  to  perceive  among  the  fore- 
most rank  of  the  players  my  acquaintance  Mr.  O'Leary, 
whom  I  at  that  moment  believed  to  be  solacing  himself 
with  his  meerschaum  at  Meurice's.  My  astonishment  at 
how  he  obtained  admission  to  the  Salon  was  even  less  than 
my  fear  of  his  recognizing  me.  At  no  time  is  it  agreeable 
to  find  that  the  man  who  is  regarded  as  the  buffo  of  a  party 
turns  out  to  be  your  friend ;  but  still  less  is  this  so  when 
the  individual  claiming  acquaintance  with  you  presents  any 
striking  absurdity  in  his  dress  or  manner,  strongly  at  con- 
trast with  the  persons  and  things  about  him.  And  thus  it 
now  happened.  Mr.  O'Leary's  external  man  as  we  met 
him  on  the  Calais  road,  with  its  various  accompaniments 
of  blouse,  cap,  spectacles,  and  tobacco-pipe,  were  nothing 
very  remarkable ;  but  when  the  same  figure  presented  itself 
among  the  elegants  of  the  Parisian  world,  redolent  of  eau 
de  Portugal,  and  superb  in  the  glories  of  brocade  waistcoats 
and  velvet  coats,  the  thing  was  too  absurd,  and  I  longed  to 
steal  away  before  any  chance  should  present  itself  of  a  rec- 
ognition. This,  however,  was  impossible,  as  the  crowd 
from  the  other  table  were  all  gathered  round  us,  and  I  was 
obliged  to  stand  fast,  and  trust  that  the  excitement  of  the 
game,  in  which  he  appeared  to  be  thoroughly  occupied, 
might  keep  his  eye  fixed  on  another  quarter.     I  now  ob' 


PAEIS.  51 

served  that  the  same  scene  in  which  I  had  so  lately  been 
occupied  at  the  rouge-et-noir  table  was  enacting  here,  under 
rather  different  circumstances.  Mr.  O'Leary  was  the  only 
player,  as  I  had  just  been,  —  not,  however,  because  his  suc- 
cess absorbed  all  the  interest  of  the  bystanders,  but  that, 
unfortunately,  his  constant  want  of  it  elicited  some  strong 
expression  of  discontent  and  mistrust  from  him,  which 
excited  the  loud  laughter  of  the  others,  but  of  which, 
from  his  great  anxiety  in  the  game,  he  seemed  totally 
unconscious. 

"  Faites  voire  jeu,  messieurs, "  said  the  croupier. 

"Wait  a  bit  till  I  change  this,"  said  Mr.  O'Leary, 
producing  an  English  sovereign;  the  action  interpreted 
his  wishes,  and  the  money  was  converted  into  coupons 
de  jeu. 

I  now  discovered  one  great  cause  of  the  mirth  of  the 
bystanders,  —  at  least  the  English  portion  of  them.  Mr. 
O'Leary,  when  placing  his  money  upon  the  table,  observed 
the  singular  practice  of  announcing  aloud  the  amount  of  his 
bet,  which,  for  his  own  information,  he  reduced  to  Irish 
currency ;  thus  the  stillness  of  the  room  was  every  instant 
broken  by  a  strong  Irish  accent  pronouncing  something  of 
this  sort, — "five  francs,  four  and  a  penny;"  "ten  francs, 
eight  and  three  ha'pence."  The  amusement  thus  caused 
was  increased  by  the  excitement  his  losses  threw  him  into. 
He  now  ceased  to  play  for  several  times,  when  at  last  he 
made  an  offering  of  his  usual  stake. 

" Perd,"  said  the  croupier,  raking  in  the  piece  with  a 
contemptuous  air  at  the  smallness  of  the  bet,  and  in  no  , 
way  pleased  that  the  interest  Mr.  O'Leary  excited  should 
prevent  the  other  players  from  betting. 

"Perd,"  said  O'Leary,  again.  "Devil  another  song  you 
sing  than  perd;  and  I  'm  not  quite  clear  you  're  not  cheat- 
ing all  the  while,  —  only,  God  help  you  if  you  are !  " 

As  he  so  said,  the  head  of  a  huge  blackthorn  stick  was 
half  protruded  across  the  table,  causing  renewed  mirth ;  for 
among  other  regulations,  every  cane,  however  trifling,  is 
always  demanded  at  the  door,  and  thus  a  new  subject  of 


52  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

astonishment  arose  as  to  how  he  had  succeeded  in  carrying 
it  with  him  into  the  Salon. 

"Here's  at  you  again,"  said  O'Leary,  regardless  of  the 
laughter,  and  covering  three  or  four  numbers  with  his 
jetona. 

Round  went  the  ball  once  more,  and  once  more  he  lost. 

"  Look,  now,  devil  a  lie  in  it ;  he  makes  them  go  wherever 
he  pleases.  I  '11  take  a  turn  now  at  the  tables,  —  fair  play  's 
a  jewel ;  and  we  '11  see  how  you  '11  get  on." 

So  saying,  he  proceeded  to  insinuate  himself  into  the 
chair  of  the  croupier,  whom  he  proposed  to  supersede,  by 
no  very  gentle  means.  This  was  of  course  resisted,  and  as 
the  loud  mirth  of  the  bystanders  grew  more  and  more  bois- 
terous, the  cries  of  "  A  la  porte  !  A  la  porte  !  "  from  the 
friends  of  the  bank  rang  through  the  crowd. 

"Go  it,  Pat,  go  it,  Pat!"  said  Guy,  over  my  shoulder, 
who  seemed  to  take  a  prodigious  interest  in  the  proceedings. 

At  this  unexpected  recognition  of  his  nativity,  —  for  Mr. 
O'Leary  never  suspected  he  could  be  discovered  by  his 
accent,  —  he  looked  across  the  table  and  caught  my  eye  at 
once. 

"Oh,  I'm  safe  now!  Stand  by  me,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  and 
we  '11  clear  the  room." 

So  saying,  and  without  any  further  provocation,  he  upset 
the  croupier,  chair  and  all,  with  one  sudden  jerk  upon  the 
floor,  and  giving  a  tremendous  kick  to  the  cassette,  sent  all 
the  five-franc  pieces  flying  over  him;  he  then  jumped  upon 
the  table,  and  brandishing  his  blackthorn  through  the 
ormolu  lustre,  scattered  the  wax-lights  on  all  sides,  accom- 
panying the  exploit  by  a  yell  that  would  have  called  up  all 
Connemara  at  midnight,  if  it  had  only  been  heard  there. 
In  an  instant  the  gendarmes,  always  sufficiently  near  to  be 
called  in  if  required,  came  pouring  into  the  room,  and  sup- 
posing the  whole  affair  had  been  a  preconcerted  thing  to 
obtain  possession  of  the  money  in  the  bank,  commenced 
capturing  different  members  of  the  company  who  appeared, 
by  enjoying  the  confusion,  to  be  favoring  and  assisting  it. 
My  cousin  Guy  was  one  of  the  first  so  treated,  —  a  proceed- 


PARIS.  53 

ing  to  which  he  responded  by  an  appeal  rather  in  favor  with 
most  Englishmen,  and  at  once  knocked  down  the  gendarme. 
This  was  the  signal  for  a  general  engagement ;  and  accord- 
ingly, before  an  explanation  could  possibly  be  attempted,  a 
most  terrific  combat  ensued,  the  Frenchmen  in  the  room 
siding  with  the  gendarmerie  and  making  common  cause 
against  the  English,  who,  although  greatly  inferior  in  num- 
ber, possessed  considerable  advantage,  from  long  habit  in 
street-rows  and  boxing  encounters.  As  for  myself,  I  had 
the  good  fortune  to  be  pitted  against  a  very  pursy  and  un- 
wieldy Frenchman,  who  sacr&d  to  admiration,  but  never 
put  in  a  single  blow  at  me.  While,  therefore,  I  amused 
myself  practising  what  old  Cribb  called  "the  one,  two," 
upon  his  fat  carcase  I  had  abundant  time  and  opportunity 
to  watch  all  that  was  doing  about  me ;  and  truly  a  more 
ludicrous  affair  I  never  beheld.  Imagine  about  fifteen  or 
sixteen  young  Englishmen,  most  of  them  powerful,  athletic 
fellows,  driving  an  indiscriminate  mob  of  about  five  times 
their  number  before  them,  who,  with  courage  enough  to 
resist,  were  yet  so  totally  ignorant  of  the  boxing  art  that 
they  retreated  pell-mell  before  the  battering  phalanx  of 
their  sturdy  opponents,  — the  most  ludicrous  figure  of  all 
being  Mr.  O'Leary  himself,  who,  standing  upon  the  table, 
laid  about  him  with  a  brass  lustre  that  he  had  unstrung, 
and  did  considerable  mischief  with  this  novel  instrument 
of  warfare,  crying  out  the  entire  time,  "Murder  every 
mother's  son  of  them !  "  "  Give  them  another  taste  of 
Waterloo ! "  Just  as  he  had  uttered  the  last  patriotic 
sentiment,  he  received  a  slight  admonition  from  behind  by 
the  point  of  a  gendarme's  sword,  which  made  him  leap  from 
the  table  with  the  alacrity  of  a  harlequin,  and  come  plump 
down  among  the  thickest  of  the  fray.  My  attention  was 
now  directed  elsewhere,  for  above  all  the  din  and  tapage  of 
the  encounter  I  could  plainly  hear  the  row-dow-dow  of  the 
drums  and  the  measured  tread  of  troops  approaching,  and 
at  once  guessed  that  a  reinforcement  of  the  gendarmerie 
were  coming  up.  Behind  me  there  was  a  large  window 
with  a  heavy  scarlet  curtain  before  it;  my  resolution  was 


54  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

at  once  taken;  I  floored  my  antagonist,  whom  I  had  till 
now  treated  with  the  most  merciful  forbearance,  and  imme- 
diately sprang  behind  the  curtain.  A  second's  considera- 
tion snowed  that  in  the  search  that  must  ensue  this  would 
afford  no  refuge,  so  I  at  once  opened  the  sash  and  endeav- 
ored to  ascertain  at  what  height  I  was  above  the  ground 
beneath  me.  The  night  was  so  dark  that  I  could  see  no- 
thing; but  judging  from  the  leaves  and  twigs  that  reached 
to  the  window  that  it  was  a  garden  beneath,  and  auguring 
from  the  perfumed  smell  of  the  shrubs  that  they  could  not 
be  tall  trees,  I  resolved  to  leap,  —  a  resolve  I  had  little 
time  to  come  to,  for  the  step  of  the  soldiers  was  already 
heard  upon  the  stair.  Fixing  my  hat,  then,  down  upon  my 
brows,  and  buttoning  my  coat  tightly,  I  let  myself  down 
from  the  window-stool  by  my  hands,  and  fell  upon  my  legs 
in  the  soft  earth  of  the  garden,  safe  and  unhurt.  From  the 
increased  clamor  and  din  overhead,  I  could  learn  the  affray 
was  at  its  height,  and  had  little  difficulty  in  detecting  the 
sonorous  accent  and  wild  threats  of  my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary 
high  above  all  the  other  sounds  around  him.  I  did  not 
wait  long,  however,  to  enjoy  them,  but  at  once  set  about 
securing  my  escape  from  my  present  bondage.  In  this  I 
had  little  difficulty,  for  I  was  directed  by  a  light  to  a  small 
door,  which,  as  I  approached,  I  found  led  into  the  den  of 
the  concierge,  and  also  communicated  by  another  door  with 
the  street.  I  opened  it  therefore  at  once,  and  was  in  the 
act  of  opening  the  second,  when  I  felt  myself  seized  by 
the  collar  by  a  strong  hand,  and  on  turning  round  saw  the 
sturdy  figure  of  the  concierge  himself,  with  a  drawn  bayo- 
net within  a  few  inches  of  my  throat.  "  Tenez,  mon  ami,'''1 
said  I,  quietly;  and  placing  half  a  dozen  louis,  some  of  my 
recent  spoils,  in  his  hand,  at  once  satisfied  him  that,  even 
if  I  were  a  robber,  I  was  at  least  one  that  understood  and 
respected  the  conveniences  of  society.  He  at  once  relin- 
quished his  hold  and  dropped  his  weapon,  and  pulling  oif 
his  cap  with  one  hand,  to  draw  the  cord  which  opened  the 
porte-cochere  with  the  other,  bowed  me  politely  to  the  street. 
I  had  scarcely  had  time  to  insinuate  myself  into  the  dense 


PARIS.  55 

mass  of  the  people  whom  the  noise  and  confusion  within 
had  assembled  around  the  house,  when  the  double  door  of 
the  building  opened,  and  a  file  of  gendarmerie  came  forth, 
leading  between  them  my  friend  Mr.  O'Leary  and  some 
others  of  the  rioters,  —  among  whom  I  rejoiced  to  find  my 
cousin  did  not  figure.  If  I  were  to  judge  from  his  disor- 
dered habiliments  and  scarred  visage,  Mr.  O'Leary's  resist- 
ance to  the  constituted  authorities  must  have  been  a  vigorous 
one ;  and  the  drollery  of  his  appearance  was  certainly  not 
decreased  by  his  having  lost  the  entire  brim  of  his  hat,  — 
the  covering  of  his  head  bearing,  under  these  distressing 
circumstances,  a  strong  resemblance  to  a  saucepan. 

As  I  could  not  at  that  moment  contribute  in  any  way  to 
his  rescue,  I  determined  on  the  following  day  to  be  present 
at  his  examination  and  render  him  all  the  assistance  in  my 
power.  Meanwhile,  I  returned  to  Meurice's,  thinking  of 
every  adventure  of  the  evening  much  more  than  of  my  own 
changed  condition  and  altered  fortunes. 


CHAPTER  V. 

PARIS. 

The  first  thing  which  met  my  eye  when  waking  in  the 
morning,  after  the  affair  at  the  Salon,  was  the  rouleau  of 
billets  de  banque  which  I  had  won  at  play;  and  it  took  sev- 
eral minutes  before  I  could  persuade  myself  that  the  entire 
recollection  of  the  evening  had  any  more  solid  foundation 
than  a  heated  brain  and  fevered  imagination.  The  sudden 
spring  from  being  a  subaltern  in  the  4 — th,  with  a  few  hun- 
dreds per  annum,  pour  tout  potage,  to  becoming  the  verita- 
ble proprietor  of  several  thousands,  with  a  handsome  house 
in  Cumberland,  was  a  consideration  which  I  could  scarcely 
admit  into  my  mind,  so  fearful  was  I  that  the  very  first 
occurrence  of  the  day  should  dispel  the  illusion  and  throw 
me  back  into  the  dull  reality  which  I  was  hoping  to  escape 
from. 

There  is  no  adage  more  true  than  the  old  Roman  one, 
that  what  we  wish,  we  readily  believe;  so  I  had  little 
difficulty  in  convincing  myself  that  all  was  as  I  desired,  — 
although,  certainly,  my  confused  memory  of  the  past  even- 
ing contributed  little  to  that  conviction.  It  was,  then, 
amid  a  very  whirl  of  anticipated  pleasures  and  new- 
schemes  for  enjoying  life  that  I  sat  down  to  a  breakfast, 
at  which,  that  I  might  lose  no  time  in  commencing  my 
race,  I  had  ordered  the  most  exquisite  viands  which  even 
French  cookery  could  accomplish  for  the  occasion. 

My  plans  were  soon  decided  upon.  I  resolved  to  remain 
only  long  enough  in  Paris  to  provide  myself  with  a  com- 
fortable travelling  carriage,  secure  a  good  courier,  and  start 
for  Baden,  when  I  trusted  that  my  pretensions,  whatever 
favor  they  might  have  been  once  received  with,  would  cer- 
tainly now,  at  least,  be  listened  to  with  more  prospect  of 
being  successful. 


PARIS.  57 

I  opened  the  "Galignani's"  paper  of  the  day  to  direct 
me  in  my  search,  and  had  scarcely  read  a  few  lines  before 
a  paragraph  caught  my  eye  which  not  a  little  amused  me ; 
it  was  headed:  "Serious  Riot  at  the  Salon  des  Etrangers, 
and  Attempt  to  rob  the  Bank." 

"Last  evening,  among  the  persons  who  presented  themselves  at 
the  tattle  of  this  fashionable  resort,  were  certain  individuals  who,  by 
their  manners  and  dress,  bespoke  anything  rather  than  the  rank  and 
condition  of  those  who  usually  resort  there,  and  whose  admission  is 
still  unexplained,  notwithstanding  the  efforts  of  the  police  to  unravel 
the  mystery.  The  proprietors  of  the  bank  did  not  fail  to  remark 
these  persons,  but  scrupled,  from  fear  of  disturbing  the  propriety  of 
the  Salon,  to  take  the  necessary  steps  for  their  exclusion,  reserving 
their  intention  to  the  adoption  of  precautions  against  such  intrusions 
in  future,  —  unfortunately,  as  it  turned  out  eventually  ;  for  towards 
eleven  o'clock  one  of  these  individuals,  having  lost  a  considerable 
sum  at  play,  proceeded  in  a  very  violent  and  outrageous  manner 
to  denounce  the  bank,  and  went  so  far  as  to  accuse  the  croupier  of 
cheating.  This  language,  having  failed  to  excite  the  disturbance  it 
was  evidently  intended  to  promote,  was  soon  followed  up  by  a  most 
dreadful  personal  attack  upon  the  banker,  in  which  he  was  thrown 
from  his  seat,  and  the  cassette,  containing  several  thousand  francs  in 
gold  and  notes,  immediately  laid  hold  of.  The  confusion  now  be- 
came considerable,  and  it  was  apparent  that  the  whole  had  been  a 
preconcerted  scheme.  Several  persons,  leaping  upon  the  table,  at- 
tempted to  extinguish  the  great  lustre  of  the  Salon,  in  which  bold 
attempt  they  were  most  spiritedly  resisted  by  some  of  the  other 
players  and  the  gendarmes,  who  had  by  this  time  arrived  in  force. 
The  riot  was  quelled  after  a  prolonged  and  desperate  resistance,  and 
the  rioters,  with  the  exception  of  two,  were  captured  and  conveyed 
to  prison,  where  they  await  the  result  of  a  judicial  investigation,  of 
which  we  shall  not  fail  to  lay  the  particulars  before  our  readers. 

"  Since  our  going  to  press  we  have  learned  that  one  of  the  ring- 
leaders in  this  vile  scheme  is  a  noted  English  escroc,  —  a  swindler, 
who  was  already  arrested  at  C for  travelling  with  a  false  pass- 
port, but  who  contrives,  by  some  collusion  with  another  of  the  gang, 
to  evade  the  local  authorities.  If  this  be  the  case,  we  trust  he  will 
speedily  be  detected  and  brought  to  punishment." 

Whatever  amusement  I  had  found  in  reading  the  com- 
mencing portion  of  this  ridiculous  misstatement,  the  allu- 


58  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

sion  in  the  latter  part  by  no  means  afforded  me  equal 
pleasure ;  and  I  saw  in  one  rapid  glance  how  much  annoy- 
ance, and  how  many  delays  and  impediments,  a  charge 
even  of  this  ridiculous  nature  might  give  rise  to  in  my 
present  circumstances.  "My  passport,  however,  will  set- 
tle all,"  thought  I,  as  I  thrust  my  hand  towards  my  pocket, 
in  which  I  had  placed  it  along  with  some  letters. 

Guess  my  misery  to  discover  that  the  whole  of  the 
pocket  had  been  cut  away,  —  probably  in  the  hope  of 
obtaining  the  billets  de  banque  I  had  won  at  play,  but 
which  I  had  changed  from  that  pocket  to  a  breast  one  on 
leaving  the  table.  This  at  once  led  me  to  suspect  that 
there  might  be  some  truth  in  the  suspicion  of  the  news- 
paper writer  of  a  preconcerted  scheme,  and  at  once  ex- 
plained to  me  what  had  much  puzzled  me  before, — the 
extreme  rapidity  with  which  the  elements  of  discord  were 
propagated;  for  the  whole  affair  was  the  work  of  a  few 
seconds.  While  I  continued  to  meditate  on  these  matters, 
the  waiter  entered  with  a  small  note  in  an  envelope,  which 
a  commissionnaire  had  just  left  at  the  hotel  for  me,  and 
went  away,  saying  there  was  no  answer.  I  opened  it  has- 
tily, and  read :  — 

Dear  H.,  — The  confounded  affair  of  last  night  has  induced  me 
to  leave  this  for  a  few  days  ;  besides  that,  I  have  obtained  a  most 
excellent  reason  for  absenting  myself  in  the  presence  of  a  black  eye 
which  will  prevent  my  appearance  in  public  for  a  week  to  come. 
As  you  are  a  stranger  here,  you  need  not  fear  being  detected.  With 
all  its  desagrements,  I  can't  help  laughing  at  the  adventure,  and  I  am 
heartily  glad  to  have  had  the  opportunity  of  displaying  old  Jackson's 

science  upon  those  wretched  gendarmes. 

Yours  truly, 

G.  L. 

"This  certainly,"  thought  I,  "improves  my  position. 
Here  is  my  cousin  Guy  —  the  only  one  to  whom,  in  any 
doubt  or  difficulty  here,  I  could  refer  — here  he  is,  flown, 
without  letting  me  know  where  to  address  him  or  find  him 
out."  I  rang  my  bell  hastily,  and  having  written  a  line  on 
my  card  requesting  Lord  Kilkee  to  come  to  me  as  soon  as 


PARIS.  59 

lie  could,  despatched  it  to  the  Rue  de  la  Paix.  The  mes- 
senger soon  returned  with  an  answer  that  Lord  Kilkee  had 
been  obliged  to  leave  Paris  late  the  eveniug  before,  having 
received  some  important  letters  from  Baden.  My  anxiety 
now  became  greater.  I  did  not  know  but  that  the  moment 
I  ventured  to  leave  the  hotel  I  should  be  recognized  by  some 
of  the  witnesses  of  the  evening's  fray;  and  all  thoughts  of 
succoring  poor  O'Leary  were  completely  forgotten  in  my 
fear  for  the  annoyances  the  whole  of  this  ridiculous  affair 
might  involve  me  in.  Without  any  decision  as  to  my  future 
steps,  I  dressed  myself  and  proceeded  to  pay  my  respects  to 
Mrs.  Bingham  and  her  daughter,  who  were  in  the  same 
hotel,  and  whom  I  had  not  seen  since  our  arrival. 

As  I  entered  the  drawing-room  I  was  surprised  to  find 
Miss  Bingham  alone.  She  appeared  to  have  been  weep- 
ing, —  at  least  the  efforts  she  made  to  appear  easy  and  in 
good  spirits  contrasted  a  good  deal  with  the  expression  of 
her  features  as  I  came  in.  To  my  inquiries  for  Mrs.  Bing- 
ham, I  received  for  answer  that  the  friends  Mrs.  Bingham 
had  expected  having  left  a  few  days  before  for  Baden,  she 
had  resolved  on  following  them,  and  had  now  merely  driven 
out  to  make  a  few  purchases  before  her  departure,  which 
was  to  take  place  in  the  morning. 

There  is  something  so  sad  in  the  thought  of  being 
deserted  and  left  by  one's  friends  under  any  circumstances 
that  I  cannot  express  how  much  this  intelligence  affected 
me.  It  seemed,  too,  like  the  last  drop  of  bad  news  filling 
up  the  measure,  that  I  was  to  be  suddenly  deprived  of  the 
society  of  the  very  few  friends  about  me  just  as  I  stood 
most  in  need  of  them. 

Whether  or  not  Miss  Bingham  noticed  my  embarrass- 
ment, I  cannot  say;  but  certainly  she  seemed  not  dis- 
pleased, and  there  was  in  the  half -encouraging  tone  of  her 
manner  something  which  led  me  to  suspect  that  she  was 
not  dissatisfied  with  the  impression  her  news  seemed  to 
produce  upon  me. 

Without  at  all  alluding  to  my  own  improved  fortune,  or 
to  the  events  of  the  preceding  night,  I  began  to  talk  over 


60  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  coming  journey,  and  expressed  my  sincere  regret  that, 
having  lost  my  passport  under  circumstances  which  might 
create  some  delay,  I  could  not  join  their  party  as  I  should 
otherwise  have  done. 

Miss  Bingham  heard  this  speech  with  rather  more  emo- 
tion than  so  simple  a  declaration  was  calculated  to  produce; 
and  while  she  threw  down  her  eyes  beneath  their  long  dark 
lashes  and  colored  slightly,  asked,  — 

"And  did  you  really  wish  to  come  with  us?" 

"Undoubtedly,"  said  I. 

"And  is  there  no  other  objection  than  the  passport?" 

"None  whatever,"  said  I,  warming  as  I  spoke;  for  the 
interest  she  appeared  to  take  in  me  completely  upset  all  my 
calculations.  Besides  that,  I  had  never  seen  her  looking  so 
handsome;  and  that,  as  the  French  wisely  remark,  vaut 
toujours  quelque  chose. 

"Oh!  then,  pray  come  with  us,  which  you  can  do,  for 
mamma  has  just  got  a  passport  for  her  nephew  along  with 
her  own;  and  as  we  really  don't  want  him,  nor  he  us,  we 
shall  both  be  better  pleased  to  be  free  of  each  other,  and 
you  can  easily  afterwards  have  your  own  forwarded  to 
Baden  by  post." 

"Ah!  but,"  said  I,  "how  shall  I  be  certain,  if  I  take  so 
flattering  an  offer,  that  you  will  forgive  me  for  filling  up 
the  place  of  the  dear  cousin?  For,  if  I  conjecture  aright,  it 
is  le  cher  Edouard  that  purposes  to  be  your  companion." 

"  Yes,  you  have  guessed  quite  correctly.  But  you  must 
not  tax  me  with  inconsistency,  but  really  I  have  grown 
quite  tired  of  my  poor  cousin  since  I  saw  him  last  night." 

"And  you  used  to  admire  him  most  prodigiously." 

"Well,  well,  that  is  all  true;  but  I  do  so  no  longer." 

"Eh!  perche?"  said  I,  looking  cunningly  in  her  eye. 

"For  reasons  that  Mr.  Lorrequer  shall  never  know  if  he 
has  to  ask  them,"  said  the  poor  girl,  covering  her  eyes  with 
her  hands  and  sobbing  bitterly. 

What  I  thought,  said,  or  did  upon  this  occasion,  with  all 
my  most  sincere  desire  to  make  a  clean  breast  of  it  in  these 
"Confessions,"  I  know  not;  but  this  I  do  know,  — that  two 


PARIS.  61 

hours  after,  I  found  myself  still  sitting  upon  the  sofa  beside 
Miss  Bingham,  whom  I  had  been  calling  Emily  all  the 
while,  and  talking  more  of  personal  matters  and  my  own 
circumstances  than  is  ever  safe  or  prudent  for  a  young  man 
to  do  with  any  lady  under  the  age  of  his  mother. 

All  that  I  can  now  remember  of  this  interview  is  the  fact 
of  having  arranged  my  departure  in  the  manner  proposed 
by  Miss  Bingham,  —  a  proposition  to  which  I  acceded  with 
an  affectation  of  satisfaction  that  I  fear  went  very  far  to 
deceive  my  fair  friend.  Not  that  the  pleasure  I  felt  in  the 
prospect  was  altogether  feigned ;  but  certainly  the  habit  of 
being  led  away  by  the  whim  and  temper  of  the  moment  had 
so  much  become  part  of  my  nature  that  I  had  long  since 
despaired  of  ever  guarding  myself  against  the  propensity  I 
had  acquired  of  following  every  lead  which  any  one  might 
throw  out  for  me.  And  thus,  as  poor  Harry  Lorrequer  was 
ever  the  first  man  to  get  into  a  row  at  the  suggestion  of  a 
friend,  so  he  only  waited  the  least  possible  pressing  on  any 
occasion  to  involve  himself  in  any  scrape  or  misfortune  that 
presented  itself,  provided  there  was  only  some  one  good 
enough  to  advise  him  to  do  so. 

As  I  entered  my  own  room  to  make  preparations  for  my 
departure,  I  could  not  help  thinking  over  all  the  events 
thus  crowded  into  the  space  of  a  few  hours.  My  sudden 
possession  of  wealth;  my  prospects  at  Callonby  still  unde- 
cided ;  my  scrape  at  the  Salon ;  my  late  interview  with  Miss 
Bingham,  in  which  I  had  only  stopped  short  of  a  proposal 
to  marry,  —  were  almost  sufficient  to  occupy  any  reasonable 
mind ;  and  so  I  was  beginning  to  suspect,  when  the  waiter 
informed  me  that  the  commissaire  of  police  was  in  waiting 
below  and  wished  to  speak  to  me.  Affecting  some  surprise 
at  the  request,  which  I  at  once  perceived  the  object  of,  I 
desired  him  to  be  introduced.  I  was  quite  correct  in  my 
guess.  The  information  of  my  being  concerned  in  the 
affair  at  the  Salon  had  been  communicated  to  the  author- 
ities, and  the  commissaire  had  orders  to  obtain  bail  for  my 
appearance  at  the  Tribunal  de  Justice  on  that  day  week,  or 
commit  me  at  once  to  prison.      The  commissaire  politely 


62  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

gave  me  till  evening  to  procure  the  required  bail,  satisfy- 
ing himself  that  he  could  adopt  measures  to  prevent  my 
escape,  and  took  his  leave.  He  had  scarcely  gone  when 
Mr.  Edward  Bingham  was  announced,  — the  reason  for  this 
visit  I  could  not  so  easily  divine;  but  I  had  little  time 
allowed  for  my  conjectures,  as  the  same  instant  a  very 
smart,  dapper  little  gentleman  presented  himself,  dressed 
in  all  the  extravagance  of  French  mode.  His  hair,  which 
was  permitted  to  curl  upon  his  shoulders,  was  divided 
along  the  middle  of  the  head;  his  mustachios  were  slightly 
upturned  and  carefully  waxed;  and  his  small  chin-tuft,  or 
Henri-Quatre,  most  gracefully  pointed ;  he  wore  three  most 
happily  contrasting  colored  waistcoats,  and  spurs  of  glit- 
tering brass.  His  visit  was  of  scarcely  five  minutes'  dura- 
tion, but  was  evidently  the  opening  of  a  breaching  battery 
by  the  Bingham  family  in  all  form,  —  the  object  of  which 
I  could  at  least  guess  at. 

My  embarrassments  were  not  destined  to  end  here;  for 
scarcely  had  I  returned  Mr.  Bingham's  eighth  salutation 
at  the  end  of  the  staircase  when  another  individual  pre- 
sented himself  before  me.     This  figure  was   in  every  re- 
spect the  opposite  of  my  last  visitor.     Although  framed 
perfectly  upon  the  late  Parisian  school  of  dandyism,  his, 
however,  was  the  Ecole  militaire.     Le  Capitaine  Eugene  de 
Joncourt,  for  so  he  introduced  himself,  was  a  portly  per- 
sonage of  about  five  and  thirty  or  forty  years  of  age,  with 
that  mixture  of  bonhomie  and  ferocity  in  his  features  which 
the  soldiers  of  Napoleon's  army  either  affected  or  possessed 
naturally.     His  features,  which  were  handsome,  and  the 
expression  of  which  was  pleasing,  were,  as  it  seemed,  per- 
verted, by  the  warlike  turn  of  a  most  terrific  pair  of  whis- 
kers and  mustachios,   from  their   naturally  good-humored 
bent;  and  the  practised  frown  and  (prick  turn  of  his  dark 
eye  were  evidently  only  the  acquired  advantages  of  his 
military  career.     A  handsome  mouth,  with  singularly  reg- 
ular and  good  teeth,  took  much  away  from  the  stern  look 
of  the  upper  part  of  his  face,  and  contributed,  with  the  aid 
of  a  most  pleasing  voice,  to  impress  you  in  his  favor.     His 


PARIS.  63 

dress  was  a  blue  braided  frock  decorated  with  the  cordon  of 
the  Legion;  but  neither  these,  nor  the  clink  of  his  long 
cavalry  spurs,  were  necessary  to  convince  you  that  the  man 
was  a  soldier.  Besides  that,  there  was  that  mixture  of 
urbanity  and  aplomb  in  his  manner  which  showed  him  to 
be  perfectly  accustomed  to  the  usages  of  the  best  society. 

"May  I  beg  to  know,"  said  he,  as  he  seated  himself 
slowly,  "if  this  card  contains  your  name  and  address?" 
handing  me  at  the  same  moment  one  of  my  visiting-cards. 
I  immediately  replied  in  the  affirmative. 

"  You  are  in  the  English  service?  " 

"Yes." 

"  Then  may  I  entreat  your  pardon  for  the  trouble  of  these 
questions  and  explain  the  reason  of  my  visit?  I  am  the 
friend  of  Le  Baron  d'Haultpenne,  with  whom  you  had  the 
altercation  last  night  at  the  Salon,  and  in  whose  name  I 
have  come  to  request  the  address  of  a  friend  on  your  part. " 

"Ho,  ho!"  thought  I,  "the  baron  is  then  the  stout  gen- 
tleman that  I  pummelled  so  unmercifully  near  the  window. 
But  how  came  he  by  my  card?  And  besides,  in  a  row  of 
that  kind,  I  am  not  aware  how  far  the  matter  can  be  con- 
ceived to  go  farther  than  what  happens  at  the  moment." 
These  were  the  thoughts  of  a  second  of  time,  and  before  I 
could  reply,  the  captain  resumed,  — 

"  You  seem  to  have  forgotten  the  circumstance,  and  so, 
indeed,  should  I  like  to  do;  but,  unfortunately,  D'Haul- 
penne  says  that  you  struck  him  with  your  walking-cane, 
so  you  know,  under  such  a  state  of  things,  there  is  but  one 
course." 

"But  gently,"  added  I;  "I  had  no  cane  whatever  last 
evening." 

"Oh!  T.  beg  pardon,"  interrupted  he.  "But  my  friend  is 
most  positive  in  his  account,  and  describes  the  altercation 
as  having  continued  from  the  Salon  to  the  street,  when  you 
struck  him,  and  at  the  same  time  threw  him  your  card. 
Two  of  your  officers  were  also  present;  and  although,  as  it 
appears  from  your  present  forgetfulness,  the  thing  took 
place  in  the  heat  and  excitement  of  the  moment,  still  —  " 


64  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"But  still,"  said  I,  catching  up  his  last  words,  "I  never 
did  strike  the  gentleman  as  you  describe,  never  had  any 
altercation  in  the  street,  and  —  " 

"Is  that  your  address?"  said  the  Frenchman,  with  a 
slight  bow. 

"Yes,  certainly  it  is." 

"Why,  then,"  said  he,  with  a  mild  curl  of  his  upper  lip, 
half  smile,  half  derision,  — 

"Why,  then,  make  yourself  perfectly  easy,"  I  replied. 
"If  any  one  has  by  an  accident  made  use  of  my  name,  it 
shall  not  suffer  by  such  a  mistake.  I  shall  be  quite  at 
your  service  the  moment  I  can  find  out  a  friend  to  refer 
you  to." 

I  had  much  difficulty  to  utter  these  few  words  with  a 
suitable  degree  of  temper,  so  stung  was  I  by  the  insolent 
demeanor  of  the  Frenchman,  whose  coolness  and  urbanity 
seemed  only  to  increase  every  moment. 

"Then  I  have  the  honor  to  salute  you,"  said  he,  rising, 
with  great  mildness  in  his  voice,  "and  shall  take  the  lib- 
erty to  leave  my  card  for  the  information  of  your  friend." 

So  saying,  he  placed  his  card  upon  the  table :  "  Le  Capi- 
taine  Eugene  de  Joncourt,  Cuirassiers  de  la  Garde." 

"I  need  not  press  upon  Monsieur  the  value  of  despatch." 

"I  shall  not  lose  a  moment,"  said  I,  as  he  clattered  down 
the  stairs  of  the  hotel  with  that  perfect  swaggering  noncha- 
lance which  your  foreigner  is  always  an  adept  in;  and  I 
returned  to  my  room  to  meditate  upon  my  numerous  em- 
barrassments and  think  over  the  difficulties  which  every 
moment  was  contributing  to  increase  the  number  of. 

"The  indictment  has  certainly  many  counts,"  thought  I. 

Imjjrimis,  a  half -implied  but  fully  comprehended  prom- 
ise to  marry  a  young  lady,  with  whom,  I  confess,  I  only 
intend  to  journey  this  life  —  as  far  as  Baden. 

Secondly,  a  charge  of  swindling  —  for  such  the  imputa- 
tion amounts  to  —  at  the  Salon. 

Thirdly,  another  unaccountable  delay  in  joining  the 
Callonbys,  with  whom  I  am  every  hour  in  the  risk  of 
being  compromis. 


PARIS.  05 

And  lastly,  a  duel  in  perspective  with  some  confounded 
Frenchman  who  is  at  this  very  moment  practising  at  a 
pistol-gallery. 

Such  were  the  heads  of  my  reflections,  and  such  the 
agreeable  impressions  my  visit  to  Paris  was  destined  to 
open  with;  how  they  were  to  be  followed  up  remains  to  be 
told. 


TOL.  II. — 6 


CHAPTER  VI. 

CAPTAIN   TREVANION's    ADVENTURE. 

As  the  day  was  now  waning  apace,  and  I  was  still 
unprovided  with  any  one  who  could  act  as  my  second,  I 
set  out  upon  a  search  through  the  various  large  hotels  in 
the  neighborhood,  trusting  that  amid  my  numerous  ac- 
quaintance I  should  be  fortunate  enough  to  find  some 
of  them  at  Paris.  With  a  most  anxious  eye  I  scanned  the 
lists  of  arrivals  at  the  usual  haunts  of  my  countrymen  in 
the  Rue  Rivoli  and  the  Place  Vendonie,  but  without  suc- 
cess; there  were  long  catalogues  of  "milors,"  with  their 
"couriers,"  etc.,  but  not  one  name  known  to  me  in  the 
number. 

I  repaired  to  Galignani's  Library,  which,  though  crowded 
as  ever  with  English,  did  not  present  to  me  one  familiar 
face.  From  thence  I  turned  into  the  Palais  Royal,  and  at 
last,  completely  jaded  by  walking  and  sick  from  disap- 
pointment, I  sat  down  upon  a  bench  in  the  Tuileries 
Gardens. 

I  had  scarcely  been  there  many  minutes  when  a  gentle- 
man accosted  me  in  English,  saying,  "  May  I  ask  if  this  be 
your  property?"  showing  at  the  same  time  a  pocket-book 
which  I  had  inadvertently  dropped  in  pulling  out  my  hand- 
kerchief. As  I  thanked  him  for  his  attention,  and  was 
about  to  turn  away,  I  perceived  that  he  continued  to  look 
very  steadily  at  me.     At  length  he  said,  — 

"I  think  I  am  not  mistaken;  I  have  the  pleasure  to  see 
Mr.  Lorrequer,  who  may,  perhaps,  recollect  my  name, 
Trevanion,  of  the  43d.  The  last  time  we  met  was  at 
Malta." 

"Oh!  I  remember  perfectly.  Indeed,  I  should  be  very 
ungrateful  if  I  did  not;  for  to  your  kind  offices  there  I  am 


CAPTAIN  TREVANION'S  ADVENTURE.  67 

indebted  for  my  life.     You  must  surely  recollect  the  street 
row  near  the  battery?  " 

"  Yes,  that  was  rather  a  brisk  affair  while  it  lasted ;  but, 
pray,  how  long  have  you  been  here?" 

"  Merely  a  few  days ;  and  most  anxious  am  I  to  leave  as 
soon  as  possible, — for  independently  of  pressing  reasons 
to  wish  myself  elsewhere,  I  have  had  nothing  but  trouble 
and  worry  since  my  arrival,  and  at  this  instant  am  involved 
in  a  duel  without  the  slightest  cause  that  I  can  discover, 
and,  what  is  still  worse,  without  the  aid  of  a  single  friend 
to  undertake  the  requisite  negotiation  for  me." 

"  If  my  services  can  in  any  way  assist  —  " 

"  Oh,  my  dear  Captain,  this  is  really  so  great  a  favor  that 
I  cannot  say  how  much  I  thank  you." 

"  Say  nothing  whatever,  but  rest  quite  assured  that  I  am 
completely  at  your  disposal ;  for  although  we  are  not  very 
old  friends,  yet  I  have  heard  so  much  of  you  from  some  of 
ours  that  I  feel  as  if  we  had  been  long  acquainted. " 

This  was  an  immense  piece  of  good  fortune  to  me;  for 
of  all  the  persons  I  knew,  he  was  the  most  suited  to  aid  me 
at  this  moment.  In  addition  to  a  thorough  knowledge  of 
the  Continent  and  its  habits,  he  spoke  French  fluently,  and 
had  been  the  most  distinguished  authority  in  the  duello  to 
a  large  military  acquaintance;  joining  to  a  consummate 
tact  and  cleverness  in  his  diplomacy  a  temper  that  never 
permitted  itself  to  be  ruffled,  and  a  most  unexceptionable 
reputation  for  courage.  In  a  word,  to  have  had  Trevanion 
for  your  second  was  not  only  to  have  secured  odds  in  your 
favor,  but,  still  better,  to  have  obtained  the  certainty  that, 
let  the  affair  take  what  turn  it  might,  you  were  sure  of 
coming  out  of  it  with  credit. 

He  was  the  only  man  I  have  ever  met  who  had  much 
mixed  himself  in  transactions  of  this  nature,  and  yet  never, 
by  any  chance,  had  degenerated  into  the  fire-eater;  more 
quiet,  unassuming  manners  it  was  impossible  to  meet  with, 
and  in  the  various  anecdotes  I  had  heard  of  him,  I  had 
always  traced  a  degree  of  forbearance  that  men  of  less 
known  bravery  might  not  have  ventured  to  practise.     At 


68  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  same  time,  when  once  roused  by  anything  like  premed- 
itated insult  or  predetermined  affront,  he  became  almost 
ungovernable,  and  it  would  be  safer  to  beard  the  lion  in 
his  den  than  cross  his  path.  Among  the  many  stories,  and 
there  were  a  great  many  current  in  his  regiment,  concern- 
ing him,  there  was  one  so  singularly  characteristic  of  the 
man  that  as  I  have  passingly  mentioned  his  name  here,  I 
may  as  well  relate  it;  at  the  same  time  premising  that  as 
it  is  well  known,  I  may  only  be  repeating  an  often-heard 
tale  to  many  of  my  readers. 

When  the  regiment  to  which  Trevanion  belonged  became 
part  of  the  army  of  occupation  in  Paris,  he  was  left  at  Ver- 
sailles seriously  ill  from  the  effects  of  a  sabre-wound  he 
received  at  Waterloo,  and  from  which  his  recovery  at  first 
was  exceedingly  doubtful.  At  the  end  of  several  weeks, 
however,  he  became  out  of  danger,  and  was  able  to  receive 
the  visits  of  his  brother  officers  whenever  they  were  fortu- 
nate enough  to  obtain  a  day's  leave  of  absence  to  run  down 
and  see  him.  From  them  he  learned  that  one  of  his  oldest 
friends  in  the  regiment  had  fallen  in  a  duel  during  the  time 
of  his  illness,  and  that  two  other  officers  were  dangerously 
wounded,  —  one  of  whom  was  not  expected  to  survive. 
When  he  inquired  as  to  the  reasons  of  these  many  disas- 
ters, he  was  informed  that  since  the  entrance  of  the  allies 
into  Paris  the  French  officers,  boiling  with  rage  and  indig- 
nation at  their  recent  defeat,  and  smarting  under  the  hourly 
disgrace  which  the  presence  of  their  conquerors  suggested, 
sought  out,  by  every  means  in  their  power,  opportunities 
of  insult;  but  always  so  artfully  contrived  as  to  render  the 
opposite  party  the  challenger,  thus  reserving  to  themselves 
the  choice  of  the  weapons.  When,  therefore,  it  is  borne  in 
mind  that  the  French  are  the  most  expert  swordsmen  in 
Europe,  little  doubt  can  exist  as  to  the  issue  of  these  com- 
bats; and,  in  fact,  scarcely  a  morning  passed  without  three 
or  four  English  or  Prussian  officers  being  carried  through 
the  Barriere  de  l'Etoile,  if  not  dead,  at  least  seriously 
wounded,  and  condemned  to  carry  with  them  through  life 
the  inflictions  of  a  sanguinary  and  savage  spirit  of 
vengeance. 


CAPTAIN  TKEVANION'S  ADVENTURE.  69 

While  Trevanion  listened  to  this  sad  recital, — and 
scarcely  did  a  day  come  without  adding  to  the  long  cata- 
logue of  disasters,  —  he  at  once  perceived  that  the  quiet 
deportment  and  unassuming  demeanor  which  so  strongly 
characterize  the  English  officer  were  construed  by  their 
French  opponents  into  evidences  of  want  of  courage,  and 
saw  that  to  so  systematic  a  plan  for  slaughter  no  common 
remedy  could  be  applied,  and  that  some  coup  d'etat  was 
absolutely  necessary  to  put  it  down  once  and  forever. 

In  the  history  of  these  sanguinary  rencontres  one  name 
was  continually  recurring,  generally  as  the  principal,  some- 
times the  instigator,  of  the  quarrel.  This  was  an  officer  of 
a  chasseur  regiment  who  had  the  reputation  of  being  the 
best  swordsman  in  the  whole  French  army,  and  was  no  less 
distinguished  for  his  "  skill  at  fence  "  than  his  uncomprom- 
ising hatred  of  the  British,  with  whom  alone,  of  all  the 
allied  forces,  he  was  ever  known  to  come  in  contact.  So 
celebrated  was  the  Capitaine  Auguste  Gendemar  for  his 
pursuits  that  it  was  well  known  at  that  time  in  Paris  that 
he  was  the  president  of  a  duelling  club  associated  for  the 
express  and  avowed  object  of  provoking  to  insult,  and  as 
certainly  dooming  to  death,  every  English  officer  upon 
whom  they  could  fasten  a  quarrel. 

The  Cafe  Phillidor,  at  that  period  in  the  Rue  Vivienne, 
was  the  rendezvous  of  this  reputable  faction;  and  here  le 
capitaine  reigned  supreme,  receiving  accounts  of  the  vari- 
ous "  affairs  "  which  were  transacting,  counselling  and  plot- 
ting for  the  future.  His  ascendency  among  his  countrymen 
was  perfectly  undisputed;  and  being  possessed  of  great  mus- 
cular strength,  with  that  peculiar  farouche  exterior  without 
which  courage  is  nothing  in  France,  he  was  in  every  way 
calculated  for  the  infamous  leadership  he  assumed. 

It  was,  unfortunately,  to  this  same  cafe,  being  situated 
in  what  was  called  the  English  quarter,  that  the  officers  of 
the  43d  regiment  were  in  the  habit  of  resorting,  totally 
unaware  of  the  plots  by  which  they  were  surrounded,  and 
quite  unsuspecting  the  tangled  web  of  deliberate  and  cold- 
blooded assassination  in  which  they  were  involved;    and 


70  IIARRY  LORREQUER. 

here  took  place  the  quarrel,  the  result  of  which  was  the 
death  of  Trevanion's  friend,  a  young  officer  of  great  prom- 
ise, and  universally  beloved  in  his  regiment. 

As  Trevanion  listened  to  these  accounts,  his  impatience 
became  daily  greater  that  his  weak  state  should  prevent  his 
being  among  his  brother  officers  when  his  advice  and  assist- 
ance were  so  imperatively  required,  and  where,  amid  all 
the  solicitude  for  his  perfect  recover}'',  he  could  not  but 
perceive  they  ardently  wished  for  his  presence. 

The  day  at  last  arrived;  and  restored  to  something  like 
his  former  self,  Trevanion  once  more  appeared  in  the  mess- 
room  of  his  regiment.  Amid  the  many  sincere  and  hearty 
congratulations  on  his  recovered  looks  were  not  a  few  half- 
expressed  hints  that  he  should  not  go  much  out  into  the 
world  for  some  little  time  to  come.  To  these  friendly 
admonitions  Trevanion  replied  by  a  good-humored  laugh 
and  a  ready  assurance  that  he  understood  the  intended 
kindness,  and  felt  in  no  wise  disposed  to  be  invalided 
again.  "In  fact,"  said  he,  "I  have  come  up  here  to  enjoy 
life  a  little,  — not  to  risk  it;  but  among  the  sights  of  your 
gay  capital,  I  must  certainly  have  a  peep  at  your  famed 
captain,  of  whom  I  have  heard  too  much  not  to  feel  an 
interest  in  him." 

Notwithstanding  the  many  objections  to  this,  made  with 
a  view  to  delay  his  visit  to  the  Phillidor  to  a  later  period, 
it  was  at  length  agreed  that  they  should  all  repair  to  the 
cafe  that  evening,  but  upon  the  express  understanding  that 
every  cause  of  quarrel  should  be  strictly  avoided,  and  that 
their  stay  should  be  merely  sufficient  to  satisfy  Trevanion's 
curiosity  as  to  the  appearance  of  the  renowned  captain. 

It  was  rather  before  the  usual  hour  of  the  cafe's  filling 
that  a  number  of  English  officers,  among  whom  was  Tre- 
vanion, entered  the  salon  of  the  Phillidor;  having  deter- 
mined not  to  attract  any  unusual  attention,  they  broke  into 
little  knots  and  parties  of  threes  and  fours,  and  dispersed 
through  the  room,  where  they  either  sipped  their  coffee  or 
played  at  dominoes,  then,  as  now,  the  staple  resource  of  a 
French  cafe". 


CAPTAIN  TREVANION'S  ADVENTURE.  71 

The  clock  over  the  comptoir  struck  eight,  and  at  the  same 
instant  a  waiter  made  his  appearance,  carrying  a  small 
table,  which  he  placed  beside  the  fire ;  and  having  trimmed 
a  lamp  and  placed  a  large  armchair  before  it,  was  about  to 
withdraw,  when  Trevanion,  whose  curiosity  was  roused  by 
the  singularity  of  these  arrangements,  determined  upon 
asking  for  whose  comfort  they  were  intended.  The  waiter 
stared  for  a  moment  at  the  question  with  an  air '  as  if 
doubting  the  seriousness  of  him  who  put  it,  and  at  last 
replied,  "Pour  Monsieur  le  Capitaine,  je  crois,"  with  a 
certain  tone  of  significance  upon  the  latter  words. 

" Le  capitaine!  but  what  captain?"  said  he,  carelessly; 
"  for  I  am  a  captain,  and  that  gentleman  there,  —  and 
there,  too,  is  another,"  at  the  same  instant  throwing  him- 
self listlessly  into  the  well-cushioned  chair,  and  stretching 
out  his  legs  at  full  length  upon  the  hearth. 

The  look  of  horror  which  this  quiet  proceeding  on  his 
part  elicited  from  the  poor  waiter  so  astonished  Trevanion 
that  he  could  not  help  saying,  "  Is  there  anything  the  mat- 
ter with  you,  my  friend?     Are  you  ill?" 

"No,  monsieur,  not  ill, — nothing  the  matter  with  me; 
but  you,  sir,  oh,  you,  sir,  pray  come  away!" 

"  Me  !  "  said  Trevanion,  —  "  me !  Why,  my  good  man,  I 
was  never  better  in  my  life;  so  now  just  bring  me  my  coffee 
and  the  'Moniteur,'  if  you  have  it.  There,  don't  stare 
that  way,  but  do  as  I  bid  you." 

There  was  something  in  the  assured  tone  of  these  few 
words  that  either  overawed  or  repressed  every  rising  feel- 
ing of  the  waiter  for  his  interrogator,  for,  silently  handing 
his  coffee  and  the  newspaper,  he  left  the  room;  not,  how- 
ever, without  bestowing  a  parting  glance  so  full  of  terror 
and  dismay  that  our  friend  was  obliged  to  smile  at  it.  All 
this  was  the  work  of  a  few  minutes,  and  not  until  the  noise 
of  new  arrivals  had  attracted  the  attention  of  his  brother 
officers  did  they  perceive  where  he  had  installed  himself, 
and  to  what  danger  he  was  thus,  as  they  supposed,  unwit- 
tingly exposed. 

In  perfect  misery  at  what  they  conceived  their  own  fault 


72  HARliY  LORREQUER. 

in  not  apprising  him  of  the  sacred  character  of  that  place, 
they  stood  silently  looking  at  him  as  he  continued  to  sip 
his  coffee,  apparently  unconscious  of  every  thing  and  per- 
son about  him. 

It  was  now,  however,  too  late  for  remonstrance;  for 
already  several  French  officers  had  noticed  the  circum- 
stance, and  by  their  interchange  of  looks  and  signs  openly 
evinced  their  satisfaction  at  it,  and  their  delight  at  the 
catastrophe  which  seemed  inevitable  to  the  luckless 
Englishman. 

There  was  now  a  more  than  ordinary  silence  in  the  cafe, 
which  at  all  times  was  remarkable  for  the  quiet  and  noise- 
less demeanor  of  its  frequenters,  when  the  door  was  flung 
open  by  the  ready  waiter,  and  the  Capitaine  Auguste  Gen- 
demar  entered.  He  was  a  large,  squarely-built  man,  with 
a  most  savage  expression  of  countenance,  which  a  bushy 
beard  and  shaggy,  overhanging  mustache  served  success- 
fully to  assist;  his  eyes  were  shaded  by  deep,  projecting 
brows  and  long  eyebrows  slanting  over  them  and  increas- 
ing their  look  of  piercing  sharpness;  there  was  in  his  whole 
air  and  demeanor  that  certain  French  air  of  swaggering 
bullyism  which  ever  remained  in  those  who,  having  risen 
from  the  ranks,  maintained  the  look  of  ruffianly  defiance 
which  gave  their  early  character  for  courage  its  peculiar 
merit. 

To  the  friendly  salutations  of  his  countrymen  he  returned 
the  slightest  and  coldest  acknowledgments,  throwing  a 
glance  of  disdain  around  him  as  he  wended  his  way  to  his 
accustomed  place  beside  the  fire;  this  he  did  with  as  much 
of  noise  and  swagger  as  he  could  well  contrive,  his  sabre 
and  sabretasche  clanking  behind,  his  spurs  jangling,  and 
his  heavy  step  made  purposely  heavier  to  draw  upon  him 
the  notice  and  attention  he  sought  for.  Trevanion  alone 
testified  no  consciousness  of  bis  entrance,  and  appeared 
totally  engrossed  by  the  columns  of  his  newspaper,  from 
which  he  never  lifted  his  eyes  for  an  instant.  Le  capi- 
ta hie  at  length  reached  the  fire-place,  when,  no  sooner 
did  he  behold  his  accustomed  seat  in  the  possession  of 


CAPTAIN  TREVANION'S  ADVENTURE.  73 

another  than  he  absolutely  started  back  with  surprise  and 


anger. 


What  might  have  been  his  first  impulse  it  is  hard  to  say, 
for  as  the  blood  rushed  to  his  face  and  forehead,  he  clenched 
his  hands  firmly,  and  seemed  for  an  instant,  as  he  eyed  the 
stranger,  like  a  tiger  about  to  spring  upon  its  victim ;  this 
was  but  for  a  second,  for  turning  rapidly  round  towards  his 
friends,  he  gave  them  a  look  of  peculiar  meaning,  showing 
two  rows  of  white  teeth,  with  a  grin  which  seemed  to  say, 
"I  have  taken  my  line;"  and  he  had  done  so.  He  now 
ordered  the  waiter,  in  a  voice  of  thunder,  to  bring  him  a 
chair.  This  he  took  roughly  from  him  and  placed,  with  a 
crash,  upon  the  floor,  exactly  opposite  that  of  Trevanion, 
and  still  so  near  as  scarcely  to  permit  of  his  sitting  down 
upon  it.  The  noisy  vehemence  of  this  action  at  last  ap- 
peared to  have  roused  Trevanion's  attention,  for  he  now, 
for  the  first  time,  looked  up  from  his  paper  and  quietly 
regarded  his  vis-a-vis.  There  could  not  in  the  world  be  a 
stronger  contrast  to  the  bland  look  and  courteous  expression 
of  Trevanion's  handsome  features  than  the  savage  scowl  of 
the  enraged  Frenchman,  in  whose  face  the  strong  and  ill- 
repressed  workings  of  passion  were  twitching  and  distort- 
ing every  lineament  and  line;  indeed,  no  words  could  ever 
convey  half  so  forcibly  as  did  that  look,  insult,  —  open, 
palpable,  deep,  determined  insult! 

Trevanion's  eyes,  which  had  been  merely  for  a  moment 
lifted  from  his  paper,  again  fell,  and  he  appeared  to  take 
no  notice  whatever  of  the  extraordinary  proximity  of  the 
Frenchman,  still  less  of  the  savage  and  insulting  character 
of  his  looks. 

Le  capitaine,  having  thus  failed  to  bring  on  the  explana- 
tion he  sought  for,  proceeded  to  accomplish  it  by  other 
means;  for  taking  the  lamp,  by  the  light  of  which  Trevan- 
ion was  still  reading,  he  placed  it  at  his  side  of  the  table, 
and  at  the  same  instant  stretching  across  his  arm,  he 
plucked  the  newspaper  from  his  hand,  giving  at  the  same 
moment  a  glance  of  triumph  towards  the  bystanders,  as 
though  he  would  say,  "You  see  what  he  must  submit  to." 


74  I1ARRY   LORREQUER. 

Words  cannot  describe  the  astonishment  of  the  British  offi- 
cers as  they  beheld  Trevanion,  under  this  gross  and  open 
insult,  content  himself  by  a  slight  smile  and  half  bow,  as 
if  returning  a  courtesy,  and  then  throw  his  eyes  down- 
wards, as  if  engaged  in  deep  thought,  while  the  triumphant 
sneer  of  the  French  at  this  unaccountable  conduct  was  abso- 
lutely maddening  to  them  to  endure. 

But  their  patience  was  destined  to  submit  to  stronger 
proof;  for  at  this  instant  le  capitaine  stretched  forth  one 
enormous  leg,  cased  in  his  massive  jack-boot,  and  with  a 
crash  deposited  the  heel  upon  the  foot  of  their  friend  Tre- 
vanion. At  length  he  is  roused,  thought  they,  for  a  slight 
flush  of  crimson  flitted  across  his  cheek,  and  his  upper  lip 
trembled  with  a  quick,  spasmodic  twitching;  but  both 
these  signs  were  over  in  a  second,  and  his  features  were 
as  calm  and  unmoved  as  before,  and  his  only  appearance 
of  consciousness  of  the  affront  was  given  by  his  drawing 
back  his  chair  and  placing  his  legs  beneath  it,  as  if  for 
protection.  .  % 

This  last  insult,  and  the  tame  forbearance  with  which  it 
was  submitted  to,  produced  all  their  opposite  effects  upon 
the  bystanders,  and  looks  of  ungovernable  rage  and  deri- 
sive contempt  were  every  moment  interchanging;  indeed, 
were  it  not  for  the  all-absorbing  interest  which  the  two 
great  actors  in  the  scene  had  concentrated  upon  themselves, 
the  two  parties  must  have  come  at  once  into  open  conflict. 

The  clock  of  the  cafe  struck  nine,  —  the  hour  at  which 
Gendemar  always  retired;  so  calling  to  the  waiter  for  his 
glass  of  brandy,  he  placed  his  newspaper  upon  the  table, 
and  putting  both  his  elbows  upon  it,  and  his  chin  upon  his 
hands,  he  stared  full  in  Trevanion's  face  with  a  look  of  the 
most  derisive  triumph,  meant  to  crown  the  achievement  of 
the  evening.  To  this,  as  to  all  his  former  insults,  Trevan- 
ion appeared  still  insensible,  and  merely  regarded  him  with 
his  never-changing  half -smile.  The  brandy  arrived;  le 
capitaine  took  it  in  his  hand,  and  with  a  nod  of  most 
insulting  familiarity  saluted  Trevanion,  adding  with  a 
loud  voice,  so  as  to  be  heard  on  every  side,  — "  A  voire 


CAPTAIN  TKEVANION'S  ADVENTURE. 


75 


courage,  Anglais."  He  had  scarcely  swallowed  the  liquor 
when  Trevanion  rose  slowly  from  his  chair,  displaying  to 
the  astonished  gaze  of  the  Frenchman  the  immense  propor- 
tions and  gigantic  frame  of  a  man  well  known  as  the  largest 
officer  in  the  British  army;  with  one  stride  he  was  beside 
the  chair  of  the  Frenchman,  and  with  the  speed  of  light- 


ning he  seized  his  nose  by  one  hand,  while  with  the  other 
he  grasped  his  lower  jaw,  and  wrenching  open  his  mouth 
with  the  strength  of  an  ogre,  he  spat  down  his  throat. 

So  sudden  was  the  movement  that  before  ten  seconds  had 
elapsed  all  was  over,  and  the  Frenchman  rushed  from  the 
room,  holding  the  fragments  of  his  jaw-bone  (for  it  was 
fractured!),  and  followed  by  his  countrymen,  who  from 
that  hour  deserted  the  Cafe  Phillidor;  nor  was  there  ever 
any  mention  of  the  famous  captain  during  the  stay  of  the 
regiment  in  Paris, 


CHAPTER  VII. 

DIFFICULTIES. 

While  we  walked  together  towards  Meurice's  I  explained 
to  Trevanion  the  position  in  which  I  stood;  and  having 
detailed  at  full  length  the  row  at  the  Salon  and  the  im- 
prisonment of  O'Leary,  entreated  his  assistance  in  be- 
half of  him,  as  well  as  to  free  me  from  some  of  my  many 
embarrassments. 

It  was  strange  enough  —  though  at  first  so  pre-occupied 
was  I  with  other  thoughts  that  I  paid  but  little  attention 
to  it  —  that  no  part  of  my  eventful  evening  seemed  to  make 
so  strong  an  impression  on  him  as  my  mention  of  having 
seen  my  cousin  Guy  and  heard  from  him  of  the  death  of 
my  uncle.  At  this  portion  of  my  story  he  smiled  with  so 
much  significance  of  meaning  that  I  could  not  help  asking 
his  reason. 

"It  is  always  an  unpleasant  task,  Mr.  Lorrecmer,  to 
speak  in  any  way,  however  delicately,  in  a  tone  of  dispar- 
agement of  a  man's  relative;  and  therefore,  as  we  are  not 
long  enough  acquainted  —  " 

"But  pray,"  said  I,  "waive  that  consideration,  and  only 
remember  the  position  in  which  I  now  am.  If  you  knoAv 
anything  of  this  business,  I  entreat  you  to  tell  me ;  I  prom- 
ise to  take  whatever  you  may  be  disposed  to  communicate, 
in  the  same  good  part  it  is  intended." 

"  Well,  then,  I  believe  you  are  right.  But  first,  let  me 
ask  you  how  do  you  know  of  your  uncle's  death?  For  I 
have  reason  to  doubt  it." 

"From  Guy;  he  told  me  himself." 

"When  did  you  see  him,  and  where?" 

"Why,  I  have  just  told  you;  I  saw  him  last  night  at 
the  Salon," 


DIFFICULTIES.  77 

"And  you  could  not  be  mistaken?" 

"Impossible!  Besides,  he  wrote  to  me  a  note  which  I 
received  this  morning,  — here  it  is." 

"  Hem,  ha !  Well,  are  you  satisfied  that  it  is  his  hand- 
writing?" said  Trevanion,  as  he  perused  the  note  slowly 
twice  over. 

"Why,  of  course —  But  stop —  You  are  right;  it  is 
not  his  hand,  nor  do  I  know  the  writing,  now  that  you 
direct  my  attention  to  it.  But  what  can  that  mean?  You 
surely  do  not  suppose  that  I  have  mistaken  any  one  for  him? 
For,  independent  of  all  else,  his  knowledge  of  my  family 
and  my  uncle's  affairs  would  quite  disprove  that." 

"  This  is  really  a  complex  affair, "  said  Trevanion,  mus- 
ingly. "  How  long  may  it  be  since  you  saw  your  cousin,  — 
before  last  night,  I  mean?" 

"Several  years,  — above  six,  certainly." 

"Oh!  it  is  quite  possible,  then,"  said  Trevanion,  mus- 
ingly. "  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  this  affair  seems  more 
puzzling  to  me  than  to  you,  and  for  this  plain  reason,  —  I  am 
disposed  to  think  you  never  saw  your  cousin  last  night." 

"Why,  confound  it,  there  is  one  circumstance  that  I 
think  may  satisfy  you  on  that  head.  You  will  not  deny 
that  I  saw  some  one  who  very  much  resembled  him;  and, 
certainly,  as  he  lent  me  above  three  thousand  francs  to  play 
with  at  the  table,  it  looks  rather  more  like  his  act  than  that 
of  a  perfect  stranger." 

"Have  you  got  the  money?"  asked  Trevanion,  dryly. 

"Yes,"  said  I;  "but  certainly  you  are  the  most  unbeliev- 
ing of  mortals,  and  I  am  quite  happy  that  I  have  yet  in  my 
possession  two  of  the  billets  de  banque  ;  for,  I  suppose,  with- 
out them,  you  would  scarcely  credit  me."  I  here  opened 
my  pocket-book  and  produced  the  notes. 

He  took  them,  examined  them  attentively  for  an  instant, 
held  them  between  him  and  the  light,  refolded  them,  and, 
having  placed  them  in  my  pocket-book,  said :  "  I  thought  as 
much,  — they  are  forgeries." 

"Hold!"  said  I;  "my  cousin  Guy,  whatever  wildness  he 
may  have  committed,  is  yet  totally  incapable  of  —  " 


78  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"I  never  said  the  contrary,"  replied  Trevanion,  in  the 
same  dry  tone  as  before. 

"Then  what  can  yon  mean?  For  I  see  no  alternative 
between  that  and  totally  discrediting  the  evidence  of  my 
senses." 

"Perhaps  I  can  suggest  a  middle  course,"  said  Trevanion; 
"lend  me,  therefore,  a  patient  hearing  for  a  few  moments, 
and  I  may  be  able  to  throw  some  light  upon  this  difficult 
matter.  You  may  never  have  heard  that  there  is,  in  this 
same  city  of  Paris,  a  person  so  extremely  like  your  cousin 
Guy  that  his  most  intimate  friends  have  daily  mistaken  one 
for  the  other;  and  this  mistake  has  the  more  often  been 
made  from  the  circumstances  of  their  both  being  in  the 
habit  of  frequenting  the  same  class  in  society,  where,  know- 
ing and  walking  with  the  same  people,  the  difficulty  of 
discriminating  has  been  greatly  increased.  This  individ- 
ual, who  has  too  many  aliases  for  one  to  know  which  to 
particularize  him  by,  is  one  of  that  numerous  order  of 
beings  which  a  high  state  of  civilization  is  always  engen- 
dering and  throwing  up  on  the  surface  of  society ;  he  is  a 
man  of  low  birth  and  mean  connections,  but  gifted  with 
most  taking  manners  and  an  unexceptional  address  and 
appearance.  These  advantages,  and  the  possession  of 
apparently  independent  means,  have  opened  to  him  the 
access  to  a  certain  set  of  people  who  are  well  known  and 
well  received  in  society,  and  obtained  for  him,  what  he 
prizes  much  more,  the  admission  into  several  clubs  where 
high  play  is  carried  on.  In  this  mixed  assemblage,  which 
sporting  habits  and  gambling  (that  grand  leveller  of  all 
distinctions)  have  brought  together,  this  man  and  your 
cousin  Guy  met  frequently;  and  from  the  constant  allu- 
sion to  the  wonderful  resemblance  between  them,  your 
eccentric  cousin,  who,  I  must  say,  was  never  too  select  in 
his  acquaintances,  frequently  amused  himself  by  practical 
jokes  upon  his  friends  which  served  still  more  to  nurture 
the  intimacy  between  them;  and  from  this  habit,  Mr.  Dud- 
ley Morewood  —  for  such  is  his  latest  patronymic  —  must 
have  enjoyed  frequent  opportunities  of  hearing  much  of 


DIFFICULTIES.  79 

your  family  and  relations,  —  a  species  of  information  he 
never  neglected,  though  at  the  moment  it  might  appear  not 
so  immediately  applicable  to  his  purposes.  Now,  this  man, 
who  knows  of  every  new  English  arrival  in  Paris  with  as 
much  certainty  as  the  police  itself,  would  at  once  be  aware 
of  your  being  here;  and  having  learned  from  Guy  how  little 
intercourse  there  had  been  of  late  years  between  you,  would 
not  let  slip  an  opportunity  of  availing  himself  of  the  like- 
ness if  anything  could  thereby  turn  to  his  profit." 

"  Stop ! "  cried  I.  "  You  have  opened  my  eyes  com- 
pletely; for  now  I  remember  that  as  I  continued  to  win 
last  night,  this  man,  who  was  playing  hazard  at  another 
table,  constantly  borrowed  from  me,  but  always  in  gold, 
invariably  refusing  the  bank-notes  as  too  high  for  his 
game." 

"There  his  object  was  clear  enough;  for  besides  obtain- 
ing your  gold,  he  made  you  the  means  of  disseminating  his 
false  billets  de  banque." 

"  So  that  I  have  been  actually  playing  and  winning  upon 
this  fellow's  forgeries,"  said  I,  "and  am  perhaps  at  this 
very  instant  inscribed  in  the  Livre  noir  of  the  police  as  a 
most  accomplished  swindler!  But  what  could  be  the  inten- 
tion of  his  note  this  morning?  " 

"As  to  that,"  said  Trevanion,  "it  is  hard  to  say.  One 
thing  you  may  assuredly  rely  upon,  —  it  is  not  an  unneces- 
sary epistle,  whatever  be  its  object;  he  never  wastes  his 
powder  when  the  game  flies  too  high.  So  we  must  only 
wait  patiently  for  the  unravelment  of  his  plans,  satisfied 
that  we,  at  least,  know  something.  What  most  surprises 
me  is  his  venturing  at  present  to  appear  in  public;  for  it 
is  not  above  two  months  since  an  escapade  of  his  attracted 
so  much  attention  in  the  play  world  here  that  he  was  obliged 
to  leave,  and  it  was  supposed  that  he  would  never  return  to 
Paris." 

"One  piece  of  good  fortune  there  is  at  least,"  said  I, 
"which,  I  can  safely  say,  repays  me  for  any  and  all  the 
annoyance  this  unhappy  affair  may  cause  me,  —  it  is,  that 
my  poor  old  uncle  is  still  alive  and  well.     Not  all  my  anti- 


80  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

cipated  pleasures  in  newly  acquired  wealth  could  have 
afforded  me  the  same  gratification  that  this  fact  does;  for 
although  never  so  much  his  favorite  as  my  cousin,  yet  the 
sense  of  protection,  the  feeling  of  confidence  which  is  insep- 
arable from  the  degree  of  relationship  between  us,  standing, 
as  he  has  ever  done,  in  the  light  of  a  father  to  me,  is  infi- 
nitely more  pleasurable  than  the  possession  of  riches,  which 
must  ever  suggest  to  me  the  recollection  of  a  kind  friend 
lost  to  me  forever.  But  so  many  thoughts  press  on  me,  so 
many  effects  of  this  affair  are  staring  me  in  the  face,  I 
really  know  not  which  way  to  turn,  nor  can  I  even  collect 
my  ideas  sufficiently  to  determine  what  is  first  to  be  done." 

"Leave  all  that  to  me,"  said  Trevanion;  "it  is  a  tangled 
web,  but  I  think  I  can  unravel  it.  Meanwhile,  where  does 
the  captain  reside?  For  among  all  your  pressing  engage- 
ments, this  affair  with  the  Frenchman  must  come  off  first; 
and  for  this  reason,  although  you  are  not  really  obliged  to 
give  him  satisfaction,  by  his  merely  producing  your  card 
and  insisting  that  you  are  to  be  responsible  for  the  mis- 
deeds of  any  one  who  might  show  it  as  his  own  address,  yet 
I  look  upon  it  as  a  most  fortunate  thing,  while  charges  so 
heavy  may  be  at  this  moment  hanging  over  your  head  as 
the  proceedings  of  last  night  involve,  that  you  have  a  pub- 
lic opportunity  of  meeting  an  antagonist  in  the  field,  — 
thereby  evincing  no  fear  of  publicity  nor  any  intention  of 
absconding;  for  be  assured  that  the  police  are  at  this  mo- 
ment in  possession  of  what  has  occurred,  and  from  the 
fracas  which  followed,  are  well  disposed  to  regard  the 
whole  as  a  concerted  scheme  to  seize  upon  the  property  of 
the  banque, — a  not  uncommon  wind-up  here  when  luck 
fails.  My  advice  is,  therefore,  meet  the  man  at  once;  I 
shall  take  care  that  the  prefect  is  informed  that  you  have 
been  imposed  upon  by  a  person  passing  himself  off  as  your 
relative,  and  enter  bail  for  your  appearance  whenever  you 
are  called  upon.  That  being  done,  we  shall  have  time  for 
a  moment's  respite  to  look  around  us  and  consider  the  other 
bearings  of  this  difficult  business." 

"Here,  then,  is  the  card  of  address,"  said  I:  "Eugene 


DIFFICULTIES.  81 

de  Joncourt,  Capitaine  de  Cavalerie,  No.  8,  Chauss^e 
d'Antin." 

"  De  Joncourt !  why,  confound  it,  this  is  not  so  pleasant ; 
he  is  about  the  best  shot  in  Paris,  and  a  very  steady  swords- 
man besides.     I  don't  like  this." 

■"But  you  forget,  he  is  the  friend,  not  the  principal, 
here." 

"The  more  good  fortune  yours,"  said  Trevanion,  dryly; 
"  for  I  acknowledge  I  should  not  give  much  for  your  chance 
at  twenty  paces  opposite  his  pistol.  Then  who  is  the 
other?"  * 

"Le  Baron  d'Haultpenne, "  said  I,  "and  his  name  is  all 
that  I  know  of  him;  his  very  appearance  is  unknown  to 

me." 

"I  believe  I  am  acquainted  with  him,"  said  Trevanion ; 
"but  here  we  are  at  Meurice's.  Now  I  shall  just  write  a 
few  lines  to  a  legal  friend  who  will  manage  to  liberate  Mr. 
O'Leary,  whose  services  we  shall  need,  —  two  persons  are 
usual  on  each  side  in  this  country,  —  and  then  '  to 
business.' " 

The  note  written  and  despatched,  Trevanion  jumped  into 
a  cab  and  set  out  for  the  Chaussee  d'Antin,  leaving  me  to 
think  over,  as  well  as  I  could,  the  mass  of  trouble  and  con- 
fusion in  which  twenty-four  hours  of  life  in  Paris  had 
involved  me. 


TOL.  II. 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

EXPLANATION. 

It  was  past  seven  o'clock  when  Trevanion  made  his 
appearance,  accompanied  by  O'Leary;  and  having  in  a  few 
words  informed  me  that  a  meeting  was  fixed  for  the  follow- 
ing morning  near  St.  Cloud,  proposed  that  we  should  at 
once  go  to  dinner  at  Very's,  after  which  we  should  have 
plenty  of  time  to  discuss  the  various  steps  to  be  taken.  As 
we  were  leaving  the  hotel  for  this  purpose,  a  waiter  re- 
quested of  me  to  permit  M.  Meurice  to  speak  a  few  words 
to  me;  which  having  agreed  to,  I  entered  the  little  bureau 
where  this  Czar  of  Hotels  sits  enthroned,  — and  what  was 
my  surprise  to  learn  the  request  he  had  to  prefer  was  no- 
thing less  than  that  I  would  so  far  oblige  him  as  to  vacate 
the  apartment  I  possessed  in  the  hotel,  adding  that  my 
compliance  would  confer  upon  him  the  power  to  accommo- 
date a  "  Milord  "  who  had  written  for  apartments  and  was 
coming  with  a  large  suite  of  servants.  Suspecting  that 
some  rumor  of  the  late  affair  at  Frascati's  might  have 
influenced  my  friend  Meurice  in  this  unusual  demand,  I 
abruptly  refused,  and  was  about  to  turn  away,  when  he, 
perhaps  guessing  that  I  had  not  believed  his  statements, 
handed  me  an  open  letter,  saying,  "You  see,  sir,  this  is 
the  letter;  and  as  I  am  so  pressed  for  spare  room,  I  must 
now  refuse  the  writer." 

As  my  eye  glanced  at  the  writing,  I  started  back  with 
amazement  to  perceive  it  was  in  my  cousin  Guy's  hand,  re- 
questing that  apartments  might  be  retained  for  Sir  Guy 
Lorrequer,  my  uncle,  who  was  to  arrive  in  Paris  by  the  end 
of  the  week.  If  any  doubt  had  remained  on  my  mind  as  to 
the  deception  I  had  been  duped  by,  this  would  completely 
have  dispelled  it;  but  I  had  long  before  been  convinced  of 


EXPLANATION.  83 

the  trick,  and  only  wondered  how  the  false  Guy  —  Mr. 
Dudley  Morewood  —  had  contrived  to  present  himself  to 
rue  so  opportunely,  and  by  what  means,  in  so  short  a  space 
of  time,  he  had  become  acquainted  with  my  personal 
appearance. 

As  I  mentioned  this  circumstance  of  the  letter  to  Trevan- 
ion,  he  could  not  conceal  his  satisfaction  at  his  sagacity  in 
unravelling  the  mystery,  while  this  new  intelligence  con- 
firmed the  justness  and  accuracy  of  all  his  explanations. 

As  we  walked  along  towards  the  Palais  Royal,  Trevanion 
endeavored,  not  very  successfully,  to  explain  to  my  friend 
O'Leary  the  nature  of  the  trick  which  had  been  practised, 
promising  at  another  time  some  revelations  concerning  the 
accomplished  individual  who  had  planned  it,  which  in  bold- 
ness and  daring  eclipsed  even  this. 

Any  one  who  in  waking  has  had  the  confused  memory  of 
a  dream  in  which  events  have  been  so  mingled  and  mixed 
as  to  present  no  uniform  narrative,  but  only  a  mass  of 
strange  and  incongruous  occurrences,  without  object  or  con- 
nection, may  form  some  notion  of  the  state  of  restless  ex- 
citement my  brain  suffered  from  as  the  many  and  conflicting 
ideas  my  late  adventures  suggested,  presented  themselves 
to  my  mind  in  rapid  succession. 

The  glare,  the  noise,  and  the  clatter  of  a  French  cafe  are 
certainly  not  the  agents  most  in  request  for  restoring  a  man 
to  the  enjoyment  of  his  erring  faculties ;  and  if  I  felt  addled 
and  confused  before,  I  had  scarcely  passed  the  threshold  of 
Very's  when  I  became  absolutely  like  one  in  a  trance.  The 
large  salon  was  more  than  usually  crowded,  and  it  was  with 
difficulty  that  we  obtained  a  place  at  a  table  where  some 
other  English  were  seated,  among  whom  I  recognized  my 
lately  made  acquaintance,  Mr.  Edward  Bingham. 

Excepting  a  cup  of  coffee,  I  had  taken  nothing  the  entire 
day;  and  so  completely  did  my  anxieties  of  different  kinds 
subdue  all  appetite  that  the  most  exquisite  viands  of  this 
well-known  restaurant  did  not  in  the  least  tempt  me.  The 
champagne  alone  had  any  attraction  for  me ;  and  seduced 
by  the  icy  coldness  of  the  wine,  I  drank  copiously.     This, 


84  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

was  all  that  was  wanting  to  complete  the  maddening  con- 
fusion of  my  brain,  and  the  effect  was  instantaneous :  the 
lights  danced  before  my  eyes;  the  lustres  whirled  round; 
and  as  the  scattered  fragments  of  conversation  on  either 
side  met  my  ear,  I  was  able  to  form  some  not  very  inaccu- 
rate conception  of  what  insanity  might  be.  Politics  and 
literature,  Mexican  bonds  and  Noblet's  legs,  pates  de  per- 
dreaux  and  the  quarantine  laws,  the  extreme  gauche  and 
roulette,  Victor  Hugo  and  rouge-et-noir,  had  formed  a 
species  of  grand  ballet  d?  action  in  my  fevered  brain,  and  I 
was  perfectly  beside  myself.  Occasionally,  too,  I  would 
revert  to  my  own  concerns,  although  I  was  scarcely  able  to 
follow  up  any  train  of  thought  for  more  than  a  few  seconds 
together,  and  totally  inadequate  to  distinguish  the  false 
from  the  true.  I  continued  to  confound  the  counterfeit 
with  my  cousin,  and  wonder  how  my  poor  uncle,  for  whom 
I  was  about  to  put  on  the  deepest  mourning,  could  possibly 
think  of  driving  me  out  of  my  lodgings.  Of  my  duel  for  the 
morning  I  had  the  most  shadowy  recollection,  and  could  not 
perfectly  comprehend  whether  it  was  O'Leary  or  myself  was 
the  principal,  and,  indeed,  cared  but  little.  In  this  happy 
state  of  independent  existence  I  must  have  passed  a  consid- 
erable time;  and  as  my  total  silence  when  spoken  to,  or  my 
irrelevant  answers,  appeared  to  have  tired  out  my  compan- 
ions, they  left  me  to  the  uninterrupted  enjoyment  of  my 
own  pleasant  imaginings. 

"  Do  you  hear,  Lorrequer, "  at  last  said  Trevanion,  —  "  are 
you  asleep,  my  dear  friend?  This  gentleman  has  been  good 
enough  to  invite  us  to  breakfast  to-morrow  at  St.  Cloud." 

I  looked  up,  and  was  just  able  to  recognize  the  well- 
trimmed  mustachio  of  Mr.  Edward  Bingham  as  he  stood 
mumbling  something  before  me. 

"St.  Cloud,  —what  of  St.  Cloud?"  said  I. 

"We  have  something  in  that  quarter  to-morrow." 

"What  is  it,  O'Leary?     Can  we  go? " 

"Oh!  certainly.     Our  engagement  is  an  early  one." 

"  We  shall  accept  your  polite  invitation  with  pleasure  —  " 
Here  he  stooped  over  and  whispered  something  in  my  ear, 


EXPLANATION.  85 

—  what,  I  cannot  say;  but  I  know  that  my  reply,  now 
equally  lost  to  me,  produced  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing  to  my 
two  friends. 

My  next  recollection  is  finding  myself  in  a  crowded  box 
at  the  theatre.  It  seems  that  O'Leary  had  acceded  to  a 
proposal  from  some  of  the  other  party  to  accompany  them 
to  the  Porte  St.  Martin,  where  Mrs.  Bingham  and  hex- 
daughter  had  engaged  a  box.  Amid  all  the  confusion 
which  troubled  thoughts  and  wine  produced  in  me,  I  could 
not  help  perceiving  a  studied  politeness  and  attention  on 
the  part  of  Mr.  Edward  Bingham  towards  me;  and  my  first 
sobering  reflection  came  on  finding  that  a  place  was  reserved 
for  me  beside  Miss  Bingham,  into  which,  by  some  contriv- 
ance I  can  in  no  wise  explain,  I  found  myself  almost  imme- 
diately installed.  To  all  the  excitement  of  champagne  and 
punch  let  the  attractions  of  a  French  ballet  be  added,  and 
with  a  singularly  pretty  companion  at  your  side,  to  whom 
you  have  already  made  sufficient  advances  to  be  aware  that 
you  are  no  longer  indifferent  to  her,  and  I  venture  to  pre- 
dict that  it  is  much  more  likely  your  conversation  will 
incline  to  flirting  than  political  economy,  and,  moreover, 
that  you  make  more  progress  during  the  performance  of  one 
single  pas  de  deux  upon  the  stage  than  you  have  hitherto 
done  in  ten  morning  calls,  with  an  unexceptionable  whisker 
and  the  best-fitting  gloves  in  Paris.  Alas!  alas!  it  is  only 
the  rich  man  that  ever  wins  at  rouge-et-noir.  The  well- 
insured  Indiaman,  with  her  cargo  of  millions,  comes  safe 
into  port;  while  the  whole  venture  of  some  hardy  veteran 
of  the  wave  founders  within  sight  of  his  native  shore.  So 
is  it  ever.  Where  success  would  be  all  and  everything,  it 
never  comes ;  but  only  be  indifferent  or  regardless,  and  for- 
tune is  at  your  feet,  suing  and  imploring  your  acceptance 
of  her  favors.  What  would  I  not  have  given  for  one  half 
of  that  solicitude  now  so  kindly  expressed  in  my  favor  by 
Miss  Bingham  if  syllabled  by  the  lips  of  Lady  Jane  Cal- 
lonby !  How  would  my  heart  have  throbbed  for  one  light 
smile  from  one,  while  I  ungratefully  basked  in  the  openly 
avowed  preference  of  the  other!  These  were  my  first 
thoughts, — what  were  the  succeeding  ones? 


86  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Elle  est  tres  blen  !  "  said  a  Frenchwoman,  turning  round 
in  the  box  next  to  us,  and  directing  at  the  same  moment  the 
eyes  of  a  mustachioed  hero  upon  my  fair  companion. 

What  a  turn  to  my  thoughts  did  this  unexpected  ejacu- 
lation give  rise  to!  I  now  began  to  consider  her  more 
attentively,  and  certainly  concurred  fully  in  the  French- 
woman's verdict.  I  had  never  seen  her  look  half  so- well 
before.  The  great  fault  in  her  features,  which  were  most 
classically  regular,  lay  in  the  monotony  and  uniform  char- 
acter of  their  expression.  Now  this  was  quite  changed. 
Her  cheek  was  slightly  flushed,  and  her  eyes  more  brilliant 
than  ever;  while  her  slightly  parted  lips  gave  a  degree  of 
speaking  earnestness  to  her  expression  that  made  her  per- 
fectly beautiful. 

Whether  it  was  from  this  cause,  I  cannot  say,  but  I  cer- 
tainly never  felt  so  suddenly  decided  in  my  life  from  one 
course  to  its  very  opposite,  as  I  now  did  to  pay  attention  to 
my  lovely  companion.  And  here,  I  fear,  I  must  acknowl- 
edge, in  the  honesty  of  these  confessional  details,  that 
vanity  had  also  its  share  in  the  decision.  To  be  the  ad- 
mitted and  preferred  suitor  of  the  prettiest  woman  in  com- 
pany, is  generally  a  strong  inducement  to  fall  desperately 
in  love  with  her,  independently  of  other  temptations  for  so 
doing. 

How  far  my  successes  tallied  with  my  good  intentions  in 
this  respect,  I  cannot  now  say.  I  only  remember  that  more 
than  once  O'Leary  whispered  to  me  something  like  a  cau- 
tion of  some  sort  or  other;  but  Emily's  encouraging  smiles 
and  still  more  encouraging  speeches  had  far  more  effect 
upon  me  than  all  the  eloquence  of  the  united  service,  had  it 
been  engaged  in  my  behalf,  would  have  effected.  Mrs. 
Bingham,  too, — who,  to  do  her  justice,  seemed  but  little 
cognizant  of  our  proceedings,  — from  time  to  time  evinced 
that  species  of  motherly  satisfaction  which  vert/  young  men 
rejoice  much  in,  and  older  ones  are  considerably  alarmed  at. 

The  play  over,  O'Leary  charged  himself  with  the  protec- 
tion of  madam,  while  I  enveloped  Emily  in  her  shawl  and 
drew  her  arm  within  my  own.  "What  my  hand  had  to  do 
with  hers,  I  knew  not;  it  remains  one  of  the  unexplained 


EXPLANATION.  87 

difficulties  of  that  eventful  evening.  I  have,  it  is  true,  a 
hazy  recollection  of  pressing  some  very  taper  and  delicately 
formed  fingers;  and  remember,  too,  the  pain  I  felt  next 
morning  on  awaking,  by  the  pressure  of  a  too  tight  ring, 
which  had,  by  some  strange  accident,  found  its  way  to  my 
finger,  for  which  its  size  was  but  ill  adapted. 

"  You  will  join  us  at  supper,  I  hope,"  saidMrs.  Bingham, 
as  Trevanion  handed  her  to  her  carriage.  "  Mr.  Lorrequer, 
Mr.  O'Leary,  we  shall  expect  you." 

I  was  about  to  promise  to  do  so,  when  Trevanion  sud- 
denly interrupted  me,  saying  that  he  had  already  accepted 
a,n  invitation  which  would,  unfortunately,  prevent  us ;  and 
having  hastily  wished  the  ladies  good-night,  hurried  me 
away  so  abruptly  that  I  had  not  a  moment  given  for  even 
one  parting  look  at  the  fair  Emily. 

"Why,  Trevanion,"  said  I,  "what  invitation  are  you 
dreaming  of?  I,  for  one,  should  have  been  delighted  to 
have  gone  home  with  the  Binghams." 

"So  I  perceived,"  said  Trevanion,  gravely;  "and  it  was 
for  that  precise  reason  I  so  firmly  refused  what,  individ- 
ually, I  might  have  been  most  happy  to  accept." 

"Then  pray  have  the  goodness  to  explain  —  " 

"  It  is  easily  done.  You  have  already,  in  recounting  your 
manifold  embarrassments,  told  me  enough  of  these  people 
to  let  me  see  that  they  intend  you  should  marry  among 
them ;  and,  indeed,  you  have  gone  quite  far  enough  to  en- 
courage such  an  expectation.  Your  present  excited  state 
has  led  you  sufficiently  far  this  evening,  and  I  could  not 
answer  for  your  not  proposing  in  all  form  before  the  sup- 
per was  over;  therefore  I  had  no  other  course  open  to  me 
than  positively  to  refuse  Mrs.  Bingham's  invitation.  But 
here  we  are  now  at  the  Cadran  Rouge;  we  shall  have  our 
lobster  and  a  glass  of  Moselle,  and  then  to  bed,  for  we  must 
not  forget  that  we  are  to  be  at  St.  Cloud  by  seven." 

"Ah!  that  is  a  good  thought  of  yours  about  the  lobster," 
said  O'Leary;  "and  now,  as  you  understand  these  matters, 
just  order  supper,  and  let  us  enjoy  ourselves." 

With   all  the   accustomed   despatch  of   a  restaurant,   a 


88  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

most  appetizing  little  supper  made  its  speedy  appearance; 
and  although  now  perfectly  divested  of  the  high  excitement 
which  had  hitherto  possessed  me,  my  spirits  were  excel- 
lent, and  I  never  more  relished  our  good  fare  and  good 
fellowship. 

After  a  full  bumper  to  the  health  of  the  fair  Emily  had 
been  proposed  and  drained  by  all  three,  Trevanion  again 
explained  how  much  more  serious  difficulty  would  result 
from  any  false  step  in  that  quarter  than  from  all  other 
scrapes  collectively. 

This  he  represented  so  strongly  that  for  the  first  time  I 
began  to  perceive  the  train  of  ill  consequences  that  must 
inevitably  result,  and  promised  most  faithfully  to  be  guided 
by  any  counsel  he  might  feel  disposed  to  give  me. 

"Ah!  what  a  pity,"  said  O'Leary,  "it  is  not  my  case. 
It 's  very  little  trouble  it  would  cost  any  one  to  break  off  a 
match  for  me.  I  had  always  a  most  peculiar  talent  for 
those  things." 

"Indeed!"  said  Trevanion.  "Pray  may  we  know  your 
secret?  For,  perhaps,  ere  long  we  may  have  occasion  for 
its  employment." 

"Tell  it  by  all  means,"  said  I. 

"If  I  do,"  said  O'Leary,  "it  will  cost  you  a  patient  hear- 
ing; for  my  experiences  are  connected  with  two  episodes  in 
my  early  life  which,  although  not  very  amusing,  are  cer- 
tainly instructive." 

"Oh!  by  all  means  let  us  hear  them,"  said  Trevanion; 
"  for  we  have  yet  two  bottles  of  Chambertin  left,  and  must 
finish  them  ere  we  part." 

"Well,  agreed,"  said  O'Leary;  "only  once  for  all,  as 
what  I  am  about  bo  confide  is  strictly  confidential,  you 
must  promise  never  even  to  allude  to  it  hereafter  in  even 
the  most  remote  manner,  much  less  indulge  in  any 
unseemly  mirth  at  what  I  shall  relate." 

Having  pledged  ourselves  to  secrecy  and  a  becoming 
seriousness,  O'Leary  began  his  story  as  follows. 


CHAPTER   IX. 


MR.    o'LEARY's    FIRST    LOVE. 


"  It  was  during  the  viceroyalty  of  the  Duke  of  Richmond 
that  the  incidents  I  am  about  to  mention  took  place.  That 
was  a  few  years  since,  and  I  was  rather  younger  and  a  little 
more  particular  about  my  dress  than  at  present."  Here 
the  little  man  threw  a  calm  glance  of  satisfaction  upon  his 
uncouth  habiliments  that  nearly  made  us  forget  our  com- 
pact and  laugh  outright.  "Well,  in  those  wild  and  head- 
strong days  of  youthful  ardor  I  fell  in  love,  —  desperately 
in  love ;  and  as  always  is,  I  believe,  the  case  with  our  early 
experiments  in  that  unfortunate  passion,  the  object  of  my 
affection  was  in  every  way  unsuited  to  me.  She  was  a  tall, 
dark-haired,  dark-eyed  maiden,  with  a  romantic  imagina- 
tion and  a  kind  of  half-crazed  poetic  fervor  that  often  made 
me  fear  for  her  intellect.  I  'in  a  short,  rather  fat,  —  I  was 
always  given  this  way, "  —  here  he  patted  a  waistcoat  that 
would  fit  Daniel  Lambert,  —  "  happy -minded  little  fellow, 
that  liked  my  supper  of  oysters  at  the  Pigeon-house,  and 
my  other  creature  comforts,  and  hated  everything  that  ex- 
cited or  put  me  out  of  my  way,  just  as  I  would  have  hated 
a  blister.  Then,  the  devil  would  have  it  —  for  as  certainly 
as  marriages  are  made  in  heaven,  flirtations  have  something 
to  say  to  the  other  place  —  that  I  should  fall  most  irretriev- 
ably in  love  with  Lady  Agnes  Moreton.  Bless  my  soul,  it 
absolutely  puts  me  in  a  perspiration,  this  hot  day,  just  to 
think  over  all  I  went  through  on  her  account !  For,  strange 
to  say,  the  more  I  appeared  to  prosper  in  her  good  graces, 
the  more  did  she  exact  on  my  part;  the  pursuit  was  like 
Jacob's  ladder,  —  if  it  did  lead  to  heaven,  it  was  certainly 
an  awfully  long  journey,  and  very  hard  on  one's  legs. 
There  was  not  an  amusement  she  could  think  of,  no  matter 


90  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

how  unsuited  to  my  tastes  or  my  abilities,  that  she  did  not 
immediately  take  a  violent  fancy  to ;  and  then  there  was  no 
escaping,  and  I  was  at  once  obliged  to  go  with  the  tide, 
and  Heaven  knows  if  it  would  not  have  carried  me  to  my 
grave  if  it  were  not  for  the  fortunate  (I  now  call  it)  acci- 
dent that  broke  off  the  affair  forever.  One  time  she  took  a 
fancy  for  yachting;  and  all  the  danglers  about  her  —  and 
she  had  always  had  a  cordon  of  them,  young  aides-de-camp 
of  her  father  the  general,  and  idle  hussars  in  clanking 
sabretasches  and  most  absurd  mustaches  —  approved  of 
the  taste,  and  so  kept  filling  her  mind  with  anecdotes  of 
corsairs  and  smugglers  that  at  last  nothing  would  satisfy 
her  till  I  —  7,  who  always  would  rather  have  waited  for 
low  water  and  waded  the  Liffey  in  all  its  black  mud  than 
cross  over  in  the  ferry-boat,  for  fear  of  sickness  —  I  was 
obliged  to  put  an  advertisement  in  the  newspaper  for  a 
pleasure-boat,  and  before  three  weeks  saw  myself  owner  of 
a  clinker-built  schooner  of  forty-eight  tons  that  by  some 
mockery  of  fortune  was  called  '  The  Delight.'  I  wish  you 
saw  me,  as  you  might  have  done  every  morning  for  about  a 
month,  as  I  stood  on  the  Custom-house  quay  giving  orders 
for  the  outfit  of  the  little  craft.  At  first,  as  she  bobbed  and 
pitched  with  the  flood-tide,  I  used  to  be  a  little  giddy  and 
rather  qualmish,  but  at  last  I  learned  to  look  on  without 
my  head  reeling.  I  began  to  fancy  myself  very  much  of  a 
sailor,  —  a  delusion  considerably  encouraged  by  a  huge  blue 
jacket  and  a  sou'wester,  both  of  which,  though  it  was  in 
the  dog-days,  Agnes  insisted  upon  my  wearing,  saying  I 
looked  more  like  Dirk  Hatteraick,  who,  I  understood,  was 
one  of  her  favorite  heroes  in  Walter  Scott.  In  fact,  after 
she  suggested  this,  she  and  all  her  friends  called  me  nothing 
but  'Dirk.' 

"Well,  at  last,  after  Heaven  knows  how  many  excuses 
on  my  part  and  entreaties  for  delay,  a  day  was  appointed 
for  our  first  excursion.  I  shall  never  forget  that  day,  — 
the  entire  night  before  it  I  did  not  close  my  eyes;  the 
skipper  had  told  me,  in  his  confounded  sea-jargon,  that  if 
the  wind  was  in  one  quarter  we  should  have  a  short,  toss- 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  FIRST  LOVE.  91 

ing  sea;  and  if  in  another,  a  long,  rolling  swell;  and  if  in 
a  third,  a  happy  union  of  both :  in  fact,  he  made  it  out  that 
it  could  not  possibly  blow  right,  —  an  opinion  I  most  heart- 
ily coincided  in ;  and  most  devoutly  did  I  pray  for  a  calm 
that  would  not  permit  of  our  stirring  from  our  moorings, 
and  thus  mar  our  projected  party  of  pleasure.  My  prayer 
was  unheard;  but  my  hopes  rose,  on  the  other  hand,  for  it 
blew  tremendously  during  the  entire  night,  and  although 
there  was  a  lull  towards  morning,  the  sea,  even  in  the  river, 
was  considerable. 

"  I  had  just  come  to  the  conclusion  that  I  was  safe  for 
this  time,  when  the  mate  poked  his  head  into  the  room  and 
said,  — 

'"  Mr.  Brail  wishes  to  know,  sir,  if  he  '11  bend  the  new 
mainsail  to-day,  as  it 's  blowing  rather  fresh,  and  he  thinks 
the  spars  light.' 

« '  Why,  the  devil  take  him,  he  would  not  have  us  go 
out  in  a  hurricane !  Surely,  Pipes,  we  could  not  take  out 
ladies  to-day? ' 

" '  Oh !  bless  your  heart,  yes,  sir ;  it  blows  a  bit,  to  be 
sure,  but  she  's  a  good  sea-boat,  and  we  can  run  for  Arklow 
or  the  Hook  if  it  comes  fresher. ' 

'"Oh,  nonsense!  there's  no  pleasure  in  that;  besides, 
I  'm  sure  they  won't  like  it,  —  the  ladies  won't  venture, 
you'll  see.' 

"  'Ay,  sir,  but  they  're  all  on  board  a'ready ;  there 's  eight 
ladies  in  the  cabin  and  six  on  deck,  and  as  many  hampers 
of  victuals  and  as  much  crockery  as  if  we  were  goin'  to 
Madeira.  Captain  Grantham,  sir,  the  soldier  officer  with 
the  big  beard,  is  a-mixing  punch  in  the  grog-tub. ' 

" '  From  the  consequences  of  this  clay  I  proclaim  myself 
innocent,'  said  I,  with  a  solemn  voice,  as  I  drew  on  my 
duck  trousers  and  prepared  to  set  out. 

"'And  the  mainsail,  sir?  '  said  the  mate,  not  understand- 
ing what  I  said. 

"'I  care  not  which,'  said  I,  doggedly;  'act  or  part  in 
this  wilful  proceeding  I  '11  not  take.' 

'Ay,  ay,  sir,'  said  the  stupid  wretch;  'then  I'll  say 


i:  ■ 


92  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

you  're  a  coming,  and  he  may  stretch  the  large  canvas ;  for 
the  skipper  says  he  likes  a  wet  jacket  when  he  has  gentle- 
men out.' 

"  Never  did  a  victim  put  on  a  flame-colored  garment,  the 
emblem  of  fate,  and  set  out  on  the  march  of  death  with  a 
heavier  heart  than  did  I  put  on  my  pilot-coat  that  morning 
to  join  my  friends. 

"  My  last  hope  deserted  me  as  I  saw  the  little  vessel  lying 
beside  the  quay ;  for  I  continued  to  trust  that  in  getting  out 
from  the  dock  some  accident  or  mischance  might  occur  to 
spoil  our  sport.  But  no ;  there  she  lay,  rolling  and  pitch- 
ing in  such  a  way  that,  even  at  anchor,  they  could  not 
stand  on  the  deck  without  holding.  Amid  the  torrent  of 
compliments  for  the  perfection  of  all  my  arrangements, 
and  innumerable  sweet  things  on  my  taste  in  the  decora- 
tion and  fitting  up  of  my  cabin,  I  scarcely  felt  myself  afloat 
for  some  minutes,  and  we  got  under  way  amid  a  noise 
and  uproar  that  absolutely  prevented  the  possibility  of 
reflection. 

"  Hitherto  our  destination  had  not  been  mentioned,  and 
as  all  the  party  appealed  to  Lady  Agnes,  I  could  not  be 
less  gallant,  and  joined  them  in  their  request. 

"'  Well,  then,  what  do  you  think  of  Lambay?  '  said  she, 
looking  at  the  same  moment  towards  the  skipper. 

" '  We  can  make  it,  my  lady, '  said  the  man,  '  but  we  '11 
have  a  roughish  sea  of  it,  for  there  's  a  strong  point  of 
westward  in  the  wind.' 

"'  Then  don't  think  of  it,'  said  I.  '  We  have  come  out 
for  pleasure,  not  to  make  our  friends  sick  or  terrify  them. 
It  does  very  well  for  us  men.' 

" '  There  you  are,  Dirk,  with  your  insolent  sneers  about 
women's  nerves  and  female  cowardice.  Now,  nothing  but 
Lambay  will  content  me,  — what  say  you,  ladies?' 

"  A  general  reply  of  approval  met  this  speech,  and  it  was 
carried  by  acclamation. 

" '  Lambay  then  be  it, '  said  I,  with  the  voice  of  a  man 
who,  entreating  to  be  shot,  is  informed  that  he  cannot  be 
afforded  that  pleasure,  as  his  sentence  is  to  be  hanged. 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  FIRST  LOVE.  03 

"But  I  must  hasten  over  these  painful  recollections.  We 
dropped  down  the  river,  and  soon  left  the  lighthouse  and 
its  long  pier  behind  us,  the  mast  bending  like  a  whip,  and 
the  sea  boiling  like  barm  over  the  lee  gunwale.  Still,  the 
spirit  of  our  party  only  rose  the  lighter,  and  nothing  but 
eulogies  upon  the  trim  and  sailing  of  the  craft  resounded 
on  all  sides.  The  din  and  buzz  of  the  conversation  went 
on  only  more  loudly  and  less  restrictedly  than  if  the  party 
had  been  on  shore,  and  all,  even  myself,  seemed  happy, 
for  up  to  this  moment  I  had  not  been  sea-sick ;  yet  certain 
treacherous  sensations,  that  alternately  evinced  themselves 
in  my  stomach  and  my  head,  warned  me  of  what  was  in 
store  for  me.  The  word  was  now  given  to  tack;  I  was  in 
the  act  of  essaying  a  soft  speech  to  Lady  Agnes,  when  the 
confounded  cry  was  heard  of  '  Ready  about !  Starboard 
there ;  let  go  sheets  and  tacks !  Stand  by,  haul ! '  The 
vessel  plunged  head-foremost  into  the  boiling  sea,  which 
hissed  on  either  bow ;  the  heavy  boom  swung  over,  carrying 
my  hat  along  with  it  —  and  almost  my  head  too.  The  rest 
of  the  party,  possibly  better  informed  than  myself,  speedily 
changed  their  places  to  the  opposite  side  of  the  boat,  while 
I  remained  holding  on  fast  by  the  gunwale,  till  the  sea, 
rushing  over  what  was  now  become  the  lee  side,  carried  me 
head  over  heels  into  the  shingle  ballast  in  the  waist.  Lord, 
how  they  did  laugh!  Agnes,  too,  who  never  before  could 
get  beyond  a  very  faint  smile,  grew  almost  hysterical  at  my 
performance.  As  for  me,  I  only  wanted  this  to  complete 
my  long-threatened  misfortune;  sea-sickness,  in  all  its 
most  miserable  forms,  set  in  upon  me,  and  ere  half  an 
hour  I  lay  upon  that  heap  of  small  stones  as  indifferent 
to  all  around  and  about  me  as  though  I  were  dead.  Oh, 
the  long,  dreary  hours  of  that  melancholy  day !  it  seemed 
like  a  year.  They  tacked  and  tacked,  they  wore,  beat,  and 
tacked  again,  the  sea  washing  over  me,  and  the  ruffianly 
sailors  trampling  upon  me  without  the  slightest  remorse 
whenever  they  had  any  occasion  to  pass  back  or  forward. 
From  my  long  trance  of  suffering  I  was  partly  roused  by 
the  steward  shaking  my  shoulder,  saying,  — 


94  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

" '  The  gentlemen  wish  to  know,  sir,  if  you  'd  like  sum'at 
to  eat,  as  they  're  a  goin'  to  have  a  morsel ;  we  are  getting 
into  slack  water  now.' 

"'  Where  are  we?  '  I  replied,  in  a  sepulchral  voice. 

" '  Off  the  Hook,  sir.  We  have  had  a  most  splendid  run, 
but  I  fear  we  '11  catch  it  soon;  there  's  some  dirty  weather 
to  the  westward.' 

"'  God  grant  it! '  said  I,  piously  and  in  a  low  tone. 

"'  Did  you  say  you  'd  have  a  bit  to  eat,  sir? ' 

"'No!  Eat!  Am  I  a  cannibal?  Eat  —  go  away.  Mark 
me,  my  good  fellow,  I  '11  pay  you  your  wages,  if  ever  we  get 
ashore;  you  '11  never  set  another  foot  aboard  with  me.' 

"  The  man  looked  perfectly  astounded  as  he  moved  away, 
and  my  thoughts  were  soon  engrossed  by  the  proceedings 
near  me.  The  rattle  of  knives  and  the  jingling  of  plates 
and  glasses  went  on  very  briskly  for  some  time,  accom- 
panied by  various  pleasant  observations  of  my  guests,  for 
such  I  judged  them,  from  the  mirth  which  ever  followed 
them.  At  last  I  thought  I  heard  my  name,  or  at  least  what 
they  pleased  to  use  as  its  substitute,  mentioned;  I  strained 
my  ears  to  listen,  and  learned  that  they  were  pretending  to 
plan  a  run  over  to  Cowes  and  see  the  regatta.  This  they 
discussed  then  for  about  twenty  minutes  in  a  very  loud 
voice,  purposely  to  see  its  effects  upon  me;  but  as  I  was 
now  aware  of  the  trick,  I  gave  no  signs  of  any  intelligence. 

"'  Poor  Dirk,'  said  Grantham,  '  I  believe  by  this  time  he 
cares  very  little  which  way  her  head  lies ;  but  here  comes 
something  better  than  all  our  discussions.  Lady  Agnes, 
sit  here;  Miss  Pelham,  here  's  a  dry  cushion  for  you.  Did 
you  sajr  a  wing,  Lady  Mary?  ' 

"  Now  began  the  crash  and  clatter  of  dinner,  —  cham- 
pagne  corks  popping,  glasses  ringing,  and  all  that  peculiar 
admixture  of  fracas  and  fun  which  accompanies  a  scrambled 
meal.  How  they  did  laugh  and  eat,  ay,  and  drink  too! 
Grantham's  punch  seemed  to  have  its  success,  for,  sick  as 
I  was,  I  could  perceive  the  voices  of  the  men  grow  gradu- 
ally louder,  and  discovered  that  two  gentlemen  who  had 
been  remarkably  timid  in  the  morning,  and  scarcely  opened 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  FIRST  LOVE.  95 

their  lips,  were  now  rather  uproariously  given,  and  one 
even  proposed  to  sing. 

" '  If  any  man, '  thought  I,  '  were  to  look  for  an  instant 
at  the  little  scene  now  enacting  here,  what  a  moral  would 
he  reap  from  it !  Talk  of  the  base  ingratitude  of  the  world, 
you  cannot  say  too  much  of  it.  Who  would  suppose  that  it 
was  my  boat  these  people  were  assembled  in ;  that  it  was 
my  champagne  these  people  were  drinking ;  that  my  veni- 
son and  my  pheasants  were  feeding  those  lips  which  rarely 
spoke  except  to  raise  a  joke  at  my  expense?  '  My  chagrin 
increased  my  sickness,  and  my  sickness  redoubled  my 
chagrin. 

"'  Mr.  Brail,'  said  I,  in  a  low  whisper,  '  Mr.  Brail.' 

"'  Did  you  speak,  sir?  '  said  he,  with  about  as  much  sur- 
prise in  his  manner  as  though  he  had  been  addressed  by  a 
corpse. 

"'  Mr.  Brail,'  said  I,  '  is  there  any  danger  here? ' 

" '  Lord,  love  you,  no,  sir ;  she  's  walking  Spanish,  and 
the  sea  going  down.  We  shall  have  lovely  weather,  and 
they  're  all  enjoying  it,  sir,  —  the  ladies.' 

" '  So  I  perceive, '  said  I,  with  a  groan,  — '  so  I  perceive ; 
but,  Mr.  Brail,  could  you  do  nothing  —  just  to  —  to  —  startle 
them  a  little,  I  mean  for  fun  only?  Just  ship  a  heavy  sea 
or  two,  — I  don't  care  for  a  little  damage,  Mr.  Brail;  and 
if  it  were  to  wash  over  the  dinner  service  and  all  the  wine, 
I  should  not  like  it  worse.' 

"'Why,  sir,  you  are  getting  quite  funny;  the  sickness  is 
going.' 

"'No,  Mr.  Brail,  worse  than  ever;  my  head  is  in  two 
pieces,  and  my  stomach  in  the  back  of  my  mouth.  But  I 
should  like  you  to  do  this,  — so  just  manage  it,  will  you? 
And  there  's  twenty  pounds  in  my  pocket-book,  you  can 
have  it,  — there  now,  won't  you  oblige  me?  And  hark  ye, 
Mr.  Brail,  if  Captain  Grantham  were  to  be  washed  over  by 
mere  accident,  it  cannot  be  helped;  accidents  are  always 
occurring  in  boating  parties.     Go  now;  you  know  what  I 


mean.' 


But,  sir  — '  began  he. 


i)G  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

"'Well,  then,  Mr.  Brail,  you  won't, — very  well.  Now 
all  I  have  to  say  is  this,  that  the  moment  I  can  find 
strength  to  do  it,  I  '11  stave  out  a  plank ;  I  '11  scuttle  the 
vessel,  — that's  all;  I  have  made  up  my  mind,  and  look  to 
yourselves  now.' 

"Saying  these  words,  I  again  threw  myself  upon  the 
ballast,  an  as  the  gay  chorus  of  a  drinking-song  was 
wafted  across  me,  prayed  devoutly  that  we  might  all  go 
down  to  the  bottom.  The  song  over,  I  heard  a  harsh,  gruff 
voice  mixing  with  the  more  civilized  tones  of  the  party, 
and  soon  perceived  that  Mr.  Brail  was  recounting  my  pro- 
posal, amid  the  most  uproarious  shouts  of  laughter  I  ever 
listened  to.  Then  followed  a  number  of  pleasant  sugges- 
tions for  my  future  management,  one  proposing  to  have  me 
tried  for  mutiny  and  sentenced  to  a  good  ducking  over  the 
side;  another,  that  I  should  be  tarred  on  my  back, — to 
which  latter  most  humane  notion  the  fair  Agnes  subscribed, 
averring  that  she  was  resolved  upon  my  deserving  my  sob- 
riquet of  Dirk  Hatteraick.  My  wrath  was  now  the  master 
even  of  deadly  sickness.  I  got  upon  my  knees,  and  having 
in  vain  tried  to  reach  my  legs,  I  struggled  aft.  In  this 
posture  did  I  reach  the  quarter-deck.  What  my  intention 
precisely  was  in  this  excursion,  I  have  no  notion  of  now, 
but  I  have  some  very  vague  idea  that  I  meant  to  react  the 
curse  of  Kehama  upon  the  whole  party.  At  last  I  mustered 
strength  to  rise ;  but  alas !  I  had  scarcely  reached  the  stand- 
ing position  when  a  tremendous  heel  of  the  boat  to  one  side 
threw  me  in  the  gunwale,  and  before  I  was  able  to  recover 
my  balance,  a  second  lurch  pitched  me  headlong  into  the 
sea.  I  have,  thank  God,  no  further  recollection  of  my 
misfortunes.  When  I  again  became  conscious,  I  found  my- 
self wrapped  up  in  a  pilot-coat  while  my  clothes  were  dry- 
ing. The  vessel  was  at  anchor  in  Wexford,  my  attached 
friends  had  started  for  town  with  post-horses,  leaving  me 
no  less  cured  of  love  than  aquatics. 

" '  The  Delight '  passed  over  in  a  few  days  to  some  more 
favored  son  of  Neptune,  and  I  hid  my  shame  and  my  mis- 
fortunes by  a  year's  tour  on  the  Continent." 


ME.  O'LEARY'S  FIRST  LOVE.  97 

"Although  I  acknowledge,"  said  Trevanion,  "that  hith- 
erto I  have  reaped  no  aid  from  Mr.  O'Leary's  narrative, 
yet  I  think  it  is  not  without  a  moral." 

"Well,  but,"  said  I,  "he  has  got  another  adventure  to 
tell  us ;  we  have  quite  time  for  it,  so  pray  pass  the  wine 
and  let  us  have  it. " 

" I  have  just  finished  the  Burgundy,"  said  O'Leary ;  "  and 
if  you  will  ring  for  another  flask,  I  have  no  objection  to  let 
you  hear  the  story  of  my  second  love." 


TOL.  II.  —  7 


CHAPTER  X. 


MR.    o'LEARY's    SECOND    LOVE. 


"You  may  easily  suppose,"  began  Mr.  O'Leary,  "that 
the  unhappy  termination  of  my  first  passion  served  as  a 
shield  to  me  for  a  long  time  against  my  unfortunate  ten- 
dencies towards  the  fair;  and  such  was  really  the  case.  I 
never  spoke  to  a  young  lady  for  three  years  after  without 
a  reeling  in  my  head,  so  associated  in  my  mind  was  love 
and  sea-sickness.  However,  at  last,  what  will  not  time  do? 
It  was  about  four  years  from  the  date  of  this  adventure 
when  I  became  so  oblivious  of  my  former  failure  as  again 
to  tempt  my  fortune!  My  present  choice,  in  every  way 
unlike  the  last,  was  a  gay,  lively  girl  of  great  animal  spirits 
and  a  considerable  turn  for  raillery  that  spared  no  one; 
the  members  of  her  own  family  were  not  even  sacred  in 
her  eyes,  and  her  father,  a  reverend  dean,  as  frequently 
figured  among  the  ludicrous  as  his  neighbors. 

"The  Evershams  had  been  very  old  friends  of  a  rich  aunt 
of  mine,  —  who  never,  by  the  by,  had  condescended  to 
notice  me  till  I  made  their  acquaintance;  but  no  sooner 
had  I  done  so  than  she  sent  for  me  and  gave  me  to  under- 
stand that  in  the  event  of  my  succeeding  to  the  hand  of 
Fanny  Eversliam,  I  should  be  her  heir  and  the  possessor  of 
about  sixty  thousand  pounds.  She  did  not  stop  here,  but 
by  canvassing  the  dean  in  my  favor,  speedily  put  the  mat- 
ter on  a  most  favorable  footing,  and  in  less  than  two  months 
I  was  received  as  the  accepted  suitor  of  the  fair  Fanny, 
then  one  of  the  reigning  belles  of  Dublin. 

"They  lived  at  this  time  about  three  miles  from  town, 
in  a  very  pretty  country,  where  I  used  to  pass  all  my  morn- 
ings, and  many  of  my  evenings  too,  in  a  state  of  happiness 


MR.   O'LEARY'S  SECOND  LOVE.  99 

that  I  should  have  considered  perfect  if  it  were  not  for  two 
unhappy  blots,  —  one,  the  taste  of  my  betrothed  for  laugh- 
ing at  her  friends;  another,  the  diabolical  propensity  to 
talk  politics  of  my  intended  father-in-law.  To  the  former 
I  could  submit;  but  with  the  latter,  submission  only  made 
bad  worse ;  for  he  invariably  drew  up  as  I  receded,  dryly 
observing  that  with  men  who  had  no  avowed  opinions,  it 
was  ill  agreeing,  or  that  with  persons  who  kept  their  poli- 
tics as  a  schoolboy  does  his  pocket-money,  never  to  spend, 
and  always  ready  to  change,  it  was  unpleasant  to  dispute. 
Such  taunts  as  these  I  submitted  to  as  well  as  I  might, 
secretly  resolving  that  as  I  never  knew  the  meaning  of 
Whig  and  Tory,  I  'd  contrive  to  spend  my  life,  after  mar- 
riage, out  of  the  worthy  clean's  diocese. 

"  Time  wore  on,  and  at  length  to  my  most  pressing  solici- 
tations it  was  conceded  that  a  day  for  our  marriage  should 
be  appointed.  Not  even  the  unlucky  termination  of  this 
my  second  love  affair  can  deprive  me  of  the  happy  souvenir 
of  the  few  weeks  which  were  to  intervene  before  our  des- 
tined union. 

"  The  mornings  were  passed  in  ransacking  all  the  shops 
where  wedding  finery  could  be  procured;  laces,  blondes, 
velvets,  and  satins  littered  every  corner  of  the  deanery; 
and  there  was  scarcely  a  carriage  in  a  coachmaker's  yard 
in  the  city  that  I  had  not  sat  and  jumped  in,  to  try  the 
springs,  by  the  special  directions  of  Mrs.  Eversham,  who 
never  ceased  to  impress  me  with  the  awful  responsibility  I 
was  about  to  take  upon  me  in  marrying  so  great  a  prize  as 
her  daughter,  —  a  feeling  I  found  very  general  among  many 
of  my  friends  at  the  Kildare  Street  Club. 

"  Among  the  many  indispensable  purchases  which  I  was 
to  make,  and  about  which  Fanny  expressed  herself  more 
than  commonly  anxious,  was  a  saddle-horse  for  me.  She  was 
a  great  horsewoman,  and  hated  riding  with  only  a  servant, 
and  had  given  me  to  understand  as  much  about  half  a  dozen 
times  each  day  for  the  last  five  weeks.  How  shall  I  ac- 
knowledge it?  Equestrianism  was  never  my  forte.  I  had 
all  my  life  considerable  respect  for  the  horse  as  an  animal, 


100  IIAKRY    LORREQUER. 

—  pretty  much  as  I  regarded  a  lion  or  a  tiger;  but  as  to 
any  intention  of  mounting  upon  the  back  of  one  and  taking 
a  ride,  I  should  as  soon  have  dreamed  of  taking  an  airing 
upon  a  giraffe ;  and  as  to  the  thought  of  buying,  feeding, 
and  maintaining  such  a  beast  at  my  own  proper  cost,  I 
should  just  as  soon  have  determined  to  purchase  a  pillory 
or  a  ducking-stool  by  way  of  amusing  my  leisure  hours. 

"  However,  Fanny  was  obstinate.  Whether  she  suspected 
anything  or  not,  I  cannot  say ;  but  nothing  seemed  to  turn 
her  from  her  purpose.  And  although  I  pleaded  a  thousand 
things  in  delay,  yet  she  each  day  grew  more  impatient,  and 
at  last  I  saw  that  there  was  nothing  for  it  but  to  submit. 

"When  I  arrived  at  this  last  and  bold  resolve,  I  could 
not  help  feeling  that  to  possess  a  horse  and  not  be  able  to 
mount  him,  was  only  deferring  the  ridicule ;  and  as  I  had 
so  often  expressed  the  difficulty  I  felt  in  suiting  myself  as 
a  cause  of  my  delay,  I  could  not  possibly  come  forward 
with  anything  very  objectionable,  or  I  should  be  only  the 
more  laughed  at.  There  was  then  but  one  course  to  take; 
a  fortnight  still  intervened  before  the  day  which  was  to 
make  me  happy,  and  I  resolved  to  take  lessons  in  riding 
during  the  interval,  and  by  every  endeavor  in  my  power 
become,  if  possible,  able  to  pass  muster  in  the  saddle  before 
my  bride. 

"  Poor  old  Lalouette  understood  but  little  of  the  urgency 
of  the  case  when  I  requested  his  leave  to  take  my  lessons 
each  morning  at  six  o'clock,  for  I  dared  not  absent  myself 
during  the  day  without  exciting  suspicion.  And  never,  I 
will  venture  to  assert,  did  knight-errant  of  old  strive  harder 
for  the  hand  of  his  lady-love  than  did  I  during  that  weary 
fortnight.  If  a  hippogriff  had  been  the  animal  I  bestrode, 
instead  of  being,  as  it  was,  an  old  wall-eyed  gray,  I  could 
not  have  felt  more  misgivings  at  my  temerity,  or  more 
proud  of  my  achievement.  In  the  first  three  days  the  un- 
accustomed exercise  proved  so  severe  that  when  I  reached 
the  deanery  I  could  hardly  move,  and  crossed  the  floor 
pretty  much  as  a  pair  of  compasses  might  be  supposed  to 
do  if  performing  that  exploit.     Nothing,  however,  could 


MR.   O'LEARY'S   SECOND   LOVE.  101 

equal  the  kindness  of  my  poor  dear  mother-in-law  in  em- 
bryo, and  even  the  dean  too.  Fanny,  indeed,  said  nothing, 
but  I  rather  think  she  was  disposed  to  giggle  a  little.  But 
my  rheumatism,  as  it  was  called,  was  daily  inquired  after, 
and  I  was  compelled  to  take  some  infernal  stuff  in  my 
port  wine  at  dinner  that  nearly  made  me  sick  at  table. 

" '  I  am  sure  you  walk  too  much, '  said  Fanny,  with  one 
of  her  knowing  looks.  '  Papa,  don't  you  think  he  ought  to 
ride?     It  would  be  much  better  for  him.' 

" '  I  do,  my  dear, '  said  the  dean.  '  But  then,  you  see,  he 
is  so  hard  to  be  pleased  in  a  horse.  Your  old  hunting  days 
have  spoiled  you ;  but  you  must  forget  Melton  and  Grant- 
ham, and  condescend  to  keep  a  hack. ' 

"I  must  have  looked  confoundedly  foolish  here,  for 
Fanny  never  took  her  eyes  off  me,  and  continued  to  laugh 
in  her  own  wicked  way. 

"  It  was  now  about  the  ninth  or  tenth  day  of  my  purga- 
torial performances ;  and  certainly  if  there  be  any  merit  in 
fleshly  mortifications,  these  religious  exercises  of  mine 
should  stand  my  part  hereafter.  A  review  had  been 
announced  in  the  Phoenix  Park  which  Fanny  had  ex- 
pressed herself  most  desirous  to  witness ;  and  as  the  dean 
would  not  permit  her  to  go  without  a  chaperon,  I  had  no 
means  of  escape,  and  promised  to  escort  her.  No  sooner 
had  I  made  this  rash  pledge  than  I  hastened  to  my  confi- 
dential friend  Lalouette,  and  having  imparted  to  him  my 
entire  secret,  asked  him,  in  a  solemn  and  imposing  manner, 
'  Can  I  do  it?  ' 

"The  old  man  shook  his  head  dubiously,  looked  grave, 
and  muttered  at  length,  '  Mosch  depend  on  de  horse.' 

" '  I  know  it,  I  know  it,  I  feel  it, '  said  I,  eagerly ;  '  then 
where  are  we  to  find  an  animal  that  will  carry  me  peace- 
ably through  this  awful  day,  — I  care  not  for  its  price? ' 

"'  Voire  affaire  ne  sera  pas  trop  chere,'  said  he. 

"'  Why,  how  do  you  mean?  '  said  I. 

"He  then  proceeded  to  inform  me  that  by  a  singularly 
fortunate  chance  there  took  place  that  day  an  auction  of 
'  cast  horses, '  as  they  are  termed,  which  had  been  used  in 


102  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  horse  police  force,  and  that  from  long  riding,  and  train- 
ing to  stand  fire,  nothing  could  be  more  suitable  than  one 
of  these,  being  both  easy  to  ride  and  not  given  to  start  at 
noise. 

"I  could  have  almost  hugged  the  old  fellow  for  his  happy 
suggestion,  and  waited  with  impatience  for  three  o'clock 
to  come,  when  we  repaired  together  to  Essex  Bridge,  at 
that  time  the  place  selected  for  these  sales. 

"I  was  at  first  a  little  shocked  at  the  look  of  the  animals 
drawn  up;  they  were  mostly  miserably  thin,  most  of  them 
swelled  in  the  legs,  few  without  sore  backs,  and  not  one 
eye,  on  an  average,  in  every  three ;  but  still  they  were  all 
high-steppers,  and  carried  a  great  tail. 

" '  There  's  your  affaire, '  said  the  old  Frenchman,  as  a 
long-legged,  fiddle-headed  beast  was  led  out,  turning  out  his 
fore-legs  so  as  to  endanger  the  man  who  walked  beside  him, 

"  *  Yes,  there  's  blood  for  you, '  said  Charley  Dycer,  see- 
ing my  eye  fixed  on  the  wretched  beast;  '  equal  to  fifteen 
stone  with  any  fox-hounds.  Safe  in  all  his  paces,  and  war- 
ranted sound,  —  except, '  added  he,  in  a  whisper,  '  a  slight 
spavin  in  both  hind  legs,  ring  bone,  and  a  little  touched  in 
the  wind.'  Here  the  animal  gave  an  approving  cough. 
'  Will  any  gentleman  say  fifty  pounds  to  begin? ' 

But  no  gentleman  did.  A  hackney  coachman,  however, 
said  five,  and  the  sale  was  opened;  the  beast  trotting  up 
and  down  nearly  over  the  bidders  at  every  moment,  and 
plunging  on  so  that  it  was  impossible  to  know  what  was 
doing. 

" '  Five  ten  —  fifteen  —  six  pounds ;  thank  you,  sir,  — 
guineas. ' 

"  '  Seven  pounds, '  said  I,  bidding  against  myself,  not 
perceiving  that  I  had  spoken  last. 

" '  Thank  you,  Mr.  Moriarty, '  said  Dycer,  turning  towards 
an  invisible  purchaser  supposed  to  be  in  the  crowd ;  '  thank 
you,  sir,  —  you  '11  not  let  a  good  one  go  in  that  way. ' 

"Every  one  here  turned  to  find  out  the  very  knowing 
gentleman,  but  he  could  nowhere  be  seen. 

"Dycer  resumed:  '  Seven  ten  for  Mr.  Moriarty.     Going 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  SECOND  LOVE.  103 

Hot  seven  ten,  —  a  cruel  sacrifice.  There  's  action  for  you, 
—  playful  beast.' 

"Here  the  devil  had  stumbled,  and  nearly  killed  a 
basket-woman  with  two  children. 

" '  Eight, '  said  I,  with  a  loud  voice. 

" '  Eight  pounds,  —  quite  absurd, '  said  Dycer,  almost 
rudely ;  '  a  charger  like  that  for  eight  pounds  —  going  for 
eight  pounds  —  going  —  nothing  above  eight  pounds  —  no 
reserve,  gentlemen,  you  are  aware  of  that!  They  are  all, 
as  it  were,  his  Majesty's  stud  —  no  reserve  whatever  —  last 
time  —  eight  pounds  —  gone ! ' 

"  Amid  a  very  hearty  cheer  from  the  mob,  —  God  knows 
why,  but  a  Dublin  mob  always  cheer,  —  I  returned,  accom- 
panied by  a  ragged  fellow,  leading  my  new  purchase  after 
me  with  a  hay  halter.  'What  is  the  meaning  of  those  let- 
ters? '  said  I,  pointing  to  a  very  conspicuous  "  G.  R.,"  with 
sundry  other  enigmatical  signs,  burned  upon  the  animal's 
hind-quarter. 

" '  That 's  to  show  he  was  a  po-lis, '  said  the  fellow,  with 
a  grin ;  '  and  whin  ye  ride  with  ladies,  ye  must  turn  the 
decoy  side.' 

"The  auspicious  morning  at  last  arrived;  and  strange 
to  say,  the  first  waking  thought  was  of  the  unlucky  day 
that  ushered  in  my  yachting  excursion  four  years  before. 
Why  this  was  so,  I  cannot  pretend  to  guess ;  there  was  but 
little  analogy  in  the  circumstances,  —  at  least  so  far  as  any- 
thing had  then  gone.  '  How  is  Marius? '  said  I  to  my  ser- 
vant as  he  opened  my  shutters.  Here  let  me  mention  that 
a  friend  of  the  Kildare  Street  Club  had  suggested  this  name 
from  the  remarkably  classic  character  of  my  steed's  counte- 
nance; bis  nose,  he  assured  me,  was  perfectly  Roman. 

" '  Marius  is  doing  finely,  sir,  barring  his  cough  and  the 
thrifle  that  ails  his  hind-legs.' 

"'  He  '11  carry  me  quietly,  Simon,  eh?  ' 

" '  Quietly.  •  I  '11  warrant  he  '11  carry  you  quietly,  if 
that's  all.' 

"Here  was  comfort;  for  Simon  had  lived  forty  years  as 
pantry  boy  with  my  mother,  and  knew  a  great  deal  about 


104  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

horses.  I  dressed  myself,  therefore,  in  high  spirits;  and 
if  my  pilot  jacket  and  oil-skin  cap  in  former  days  had  half 
persuaded  me  that  I  was  born  for  marine  achievements, 
certainly  my  cords  and  tops  that  morning  went  far  to  con- 
vince me  that  I  must  have  once  been  a  very  keen  sportsman 
somewhere  without  knowing  it. 

It  was  a  delightful  July  day  that  I  set  out  to  join  my 
friends,  who,  having  recruited  a  large  party,  were  to  ren- 
dezvous at  the  corner  of  Stephen's  Green;  thither  I  pro- 
ceeded in  a  certain  ambling  trot  which  I  have  often 
observed  is  a  very  favorite  pace  with  timid  horsemen  and 
gentlemen  of  the  medical  profession.  I  was  hailed  with  a 
most  hearty  welcome  by  a  large  party  as  I  turned  out  of 
Grafton  Street,  among  whom  I  perceived  several  friends  of 
Miss  Eversham,  and  some  young  dragoon  officers,  not  of  my 
acquaintance,  but  who  appeared  to  know  Fanny  intimately, 
and  were  laughing  heartily  with  her  as  I  rode  up. 

"I  don't  know  if  other  men  have  experienced  what  I  am 
about  to  mention  or  not;  but  certainly  to  me  there  is  no 
more  painful  sensation  than  to  find  yourself  among  a  num- 
ber of  well-mounted,  well-equipped  people,  while  the  ani- 
mal you  yourself  bestride  seems  only  fit  for  the  kennel. 
Every  look  that  is  cast  at  your  unlucky  steed  and  every 
whispered  observation  about  you  are  so  many  thorns  in 
your  flesh,  till  at  last  you  begin  to  feel  that  your  appear- 
ance is  for  very  little  else  than  the  amusement  and  mirth 
of  the  assembly,  and  every  time  you  rise  in  your  stirrups 
you  excite  a  laugh. 

"'  Where,  for  mercy's  sake,  did  you  find  that  creature?' 
said  Fanny,  surveying  Marius  through  a  glass. 

"'Oh,  him,  eh?  Why,  he  is  a  handsome  horse,  if  in 
condition,  — a  charger,  you  know;  that's  his  style.' 

"'Indeed,'  lisped  a  young  lancer,  'I  should  be  devilish 
sorry  to  charge  or  be  charged  with  him.'  And  here  they 
all  chuckled  at  this  puppy's  silly  joke,  and  I  drew  up  to 
repress  further  liberties. 

"'Is  he  anything  of  a  fencer?'  said  a  young  country 
gentleman. 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  SECOND  LOVE.  105 

"'  To  judge  from  his  near  eye,  I  should  say  much  more 
of  a  boxer, '  said  another. 

"Here  commenced  a  running  fire  of  pleasantry  at  the 
expense  of  my  poor  steed,  which,  not  content  with  attack- 
ing his  physical,  extended  to  his  moral  qualities;  an  old 
gentleman  near  me  observing  that  I  ought  not  to  have 
mounted  him  at  all,  seeing  that  he  was  so  deuced  groggy ! 
To  which  I  replied  by  insinuating  that  if  others  present 
were  as  free  from  the  influence  of  ardent  spirits,  society 
would  not  be  a  sufferer,  —  an  observation  that  I  flatter  my- 
self turned  the  mirth  against  the  old  fellow,  for  they  all 
laughed  for  a  quarter  of  an  hour  after. 

"  Well,  at  last  we  set  out  in  a  brisk  trot,  and,  placed  near 
Fanny,  I  speedily  forgot  all  my  annoyances  in  the  prospect 
of  figuring  to  advantage  before  her.  When  we  reached 
College  Green  the  leaders  of  the  party  suddenly  drew  up, 
and  we  soon  found  that  the  entire  street  opposite  the  Bank 
was  filled  with  a  dense  mob  of  people,  who  appeared  to  be 
swayed  hither  and  thither  like  some  mighty  beast  as  the 
individuals  composing  it  were  engaged  in  close  conflict.  It 
was  nothing  more  nor  less  than  one  of  those  almost  weekly 
rows  which  then  took  place  between  the  students  of  the 
University  and  the  townspeople,  and  which  rarely  ended 
without  serious  consequences.  The  numbers  of  people 
pressing  on  to  the  scene  of  action  soon  blocked  up  our 
retreat,  and  we  found  ourselves  most  unwilling  spectators 
of  the  conflict.  Political  watchwords  were  loudly  shouted 
by  each  party;  and  at  last  the  students,  who  appeared  to 
be  yielding  to  superior  numbers,  called  out  for  the  inter- 
vention of  the  police.  The  aid  was  nearer  than  they 
expected;  for  at  the  same  instant  a  body  of  mounted 
policemen,  whose  high  helmets  rendered  them  sufficiently 
conspicuous,  were  seen  trotting  at  a  sharp  pace  down  Dame 
Street.  On  they  came,  with  drawn  sabres,  led  by  a  well- 
looking  gentleman-like  personage  in  plain  clothes,  who 
dashed  at  once  into  the  midst  of  the  fray,  issuing  his 
orders  and  pointing  out  to  his  followers  to  secure  the  ring- 
leaders.   Up  to  this  moment  I  had  been  a  most  patient  and 


106  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

rather  amused  spectator  of  what  was  doing.  ISTow,  how- 
ever, my  part  was  to  commence,  for  at  the  word  '  charge,' 
given  in  a  harsh,  deep  voice  by  the  sergeant  of  the  party, 
Marius,  remembering  his  ancient  instinct,  pricked  up  his 
ears,  cocked  his  tail,  flung  up  both  his  hind  legs  till  they 
nearly  broke  the  provost's  windows,  and  plunged  into  the 
thickest  of  the  fray  like  a  devil  incarnate. 

"  Self-preservation  must  be  a  strong  instinct,  for  I  well 
remember  how  little  pain  it  cost  me  to  see  the  people  tum- 
bling and  rolling  before  and  beneath  me,  while  I  continued 
to  keep  my  seat.  It  was  only  the  moment  before,  and  that 
immense  mass  were  in  man-to-man  encounter;  now,  all  the 
indignation  of  both  parties  seemed  turned  upon  me.  Brick- 
bats were  loudly  implored,  and  paving-stones  begged  to 
throw  at  my  devoted  head;  the  wild  huntsman  of  the  Ger- 
man romance  never  created  half  the  terror  nor  one  tenth 
of  the  mischief  that  I  did  in  less  than  fifteen  minutes,  for 
the  ill-starred  beast  continued  twining  and  twisting  like  a 
serpent,  plunging  and  kicking  the  entire  time,  and  occa- 
sionally biting  too,  —  all  which  accomplishments,  I  after- 
wards learned,  however  little  in  request  in  civil  life,  are 
highly  prized  in  the  horse  police. 

"  Every  new  order  of  the  sergeant  was  followed  in  his 
own  fashion  by  Marius,  who  very  soon  contrived  to  concen- 
trate in  my  unhappy  person  all  the  interest  of  about  fifteen 
hundred  people. 

"'  Secure  that  scoundrel! '  said  the  magistrate,  pointing 
with  his  finger  towards  me  as  I  rode  over  a  respectable- 
looking  old  lady  with  a  gray  muff.  '  Secure  him !  Cut 
him  down! ' 

'"Ah,  devil's  luck  to  him  if  he  do! '  said  a  newsmonger 
with  a  broken  shin. 

"  On  I  went,  however ;  and  now,  as  the  Fates  would  have 
it,  instead  of  bearing  me  out  of  further  danger,  the  con- 
founded brute  dashed  onwards  to  where  the  magistrate  was 
standing,  surrounded  by  policemen.  I  thought  I  saw  him 
change  color  as  I  came  on.  I  suppose  my  own  looks  were 
none  of  the  pleasantest,  for  the  worthy  man  evidently  liked 


MR.  O'LEARY'S  SECOND  LOVE.  107 

thein  not.  Into  the  midst  of  the  in  we  plunged,  upsetting 
a  corporal,  horse  and  all,  and  appearing  as  if  bent  upon 
reaching  the  alderman. 

" '  Cut  him  down,  for  Heaven's  sake !  Will  nobody  shoot 
him? '  said  he,  with  a  voice  trembling  with  fear  and  anger. 

"  At  these  words  a  wretch  lifted  up  his  sabre  and  made  a 
cut  at  my  head.  I  stooped  suddenly,  and  throwing  myself 
from  the  saddle,  seized  the  poor  alderman  around  the  neck, 
and  we  both  came  rolling  to  the  ground  together.  So  com- 
pletely was  he  possessed  with  the  notion  that  I  meant  to 
assassinate  him  that  while  I  was  endeavoring  to  extricate 
myself  from  his  grasp,  he  continued  to  beg  his  life  in  the 
most  heartrending  manner. 

"My  story  is  now  soon  told.  So  effectually  did  they 
rescue  the  alderman  from  his  danger  that  they  left  me 
insensible ;  and  I  only  came  to  myself  some  days  after  by 
finding  myself  in  the  dock  in  Green  Street,  charged  with 
an  indictment  of  nineteen  counts,  the  only  word  of  truth  of 
which  lay  in  the  preamble,  for  the  '  devil  inciting '  me  only, 
would  ever  have  made  me  the  owner  of  that  infernal  beast, 
the  cause  of  all  my  misfortunes.  I  was  so  stupefied  with 
my  beating  that  I  know  little  of  the  course  of  the  proceed- 
ings. My  friends  told  me  afterwards  that  I  had  a  narrow 
escape  from  transportation ;  but  for  the  greatest  influence 
exerted  in  my  behalf  I  should  certainly  have  passed  the 
autumn  in  the  agreeable  recreation  of  pounding  oyster- 
shells  or  carding  wool;  and  it  certainly  must  have  gone 
hard  with  me,  for,  stupefied  as  I  was,  I  remember  the  sen- 
sation in  court  when  the  alderman  made  his  appearance 
with  a  patch  over  his  eye.  The  affecting  admonition  of  the 
little  judge  —  who,  when  passing  sentence  upon  me,  ad- 
verted to  the  former  respectability  of  my  life  and  the  rank 
of  my  relatives  —  actually  made  the  galleries  weep. 

"  Four  months  to  Newgate  and  a  fine  to  the  king  then 
rewarded  my  taste  for  horse-exercise ;  and  it 's  no  wonder 
if  I  prefer  going  on  foot. 

"As  to  Miss  Eversham,  the  following  short  note  from 
the  dean  concluded  my  hopes  in  that  quarter :  — 


108  HARRY   LORREQUEK. 

Deanery,  Wednesday  morning. 

Sir, —  After  the  very  distressing  publicity  to  which  your  late 
conduct  has  exposed  you,  the  so  open  avowal  of  political  opinions  at 
variance  with  those  (I  will  say)  of  every  gentleman,  and  the  recorded 
sentence  of  a  judge  on  the  verdict  of  twelve  of  your  countrymen,  I 
should  hope  that  you  will  not  feel  my  present  admonition  necessary 
to  inform  you  that  your  visits  at  my  house  shall  cease. 

The  presents  you  made  my  daughter  when  under  our  unfortunate 
ignorance  of  your  real  character,  have  been  addressed  to  your  hotel, 
and  I  am  your  most  obedient,  humble  servant, 

Oliver  Eversham. 

"  Here  ended  my  second  affair  par  amours  ;  and  I  freely 
confess  to  you  that  if  I  can  only  obtain  a  wife  in  a  sea- 
voyage  or  a  steeplechase,  I  am  likely  to  fulfil  one  great 
condition  in  modern  advertising,  'as  having  no  incum- 
brance, nor  any  objection  to  travel.'" 


CHAPTER  XL 

THE    DUEL. 

Mr.  O'Leary  had  scarcely  concluded  the  narrative  of 
his  second  adventure  when  the  gray  light  of  the  breaking 
day  was  seen  faintly  struggling  through  the  half-closed 
curtains,  and  apprising  us  of  the  lateness  of  the  hour. 

"  I  think  we  shall  just  have  time  for  one  finishing  flask 
of  Chambertin,"  said  O'Leary,  as  he  emptied  the  bottle  into 
his  glass. 

"  I  forbid  the  banns,  for  one,"  cried  Trevanion.  "  We 
have  all  had  wine  enough,  considering  what  we  have  before 
us  this  morning ;  and  besides,  you  are  not  aware  it  is  now 
past  four  o'clock.  So,  gargon,  gargon,  there  !  —  how  soundly 
the  poor  fellow  sleeps  !  —  let  us  have  some  coffee,  and  then 
inquire  if  a  carriage  is  in  waiting  at  the  corner  of  the  Rue 
Vivienne." 

The  coffee  made  its  appearance,  —  very  much,  as  it 
seemed,  to  Mr.  O'Leary 's  chagrin,  who,  however,  solaced 
himself  by  sundry  "  small  glasses  "  to  correct  the  coldness 
of  the  wine  he  had  drunk,  and  at  length  recovered  his  good- 
humor. 

"  Do  you  know,  now,"  said  he,  after  a  short  pause,  in 
which  we  had  all  kept  silence,  "  I  think  what  we  are  about 
to  do  is  the  very  ugliest  way  of  finishing  a  pleasant  even- 
ing. For  my  own  part,  I  like  the  wind-up  we  used  to  have 
in  '  Old  Trinity '  formerly,  when,  after  wringing  off  half  a 
dozen  knockers,  breaking  the  lamps  at  the  post-office,  and 
getting  out  the  fire-engines  of  Werburgh's  parish,  we  beat 
a  few  watchmen  and  went  peaceably  to  bed." 

"  Well,  not  being  an  Irishman,"  said  Trevanion,  "  I  'm 
half  disposed  to  think  that  even  our  present  purpose  is 
nearly  as  favorable  to  life  and  limb ;  but  here  comes  my 


110  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

servant.  Well,  John,  is  all  arranged  and  the  carriage 
ready  ? " 

Having  ascertained  that  the  carriage  was  in  waiting,  and 
that  the  small  box — brass-bound  and  Bramah-locked — ■ 
reposed  within,  we  paid  our  bill  and  departed.  A  cold, 
raw,  misty-looking  morning,  with  masses  of  dark,  lowering 
clouds  overhead,  and  channels  of  dark  and  murky  water 
beneath,  were  the  pleasant  prospects  which  met  us  as  we 
issued  forth  from  the  cafe.  The  lamps  which  hung  sus- 
pended midway  across  the  street  —  we  speak  of  some  years 
since  —  creaked,  with  a  low  and  plaintive  sound,  as  they 
swung  backwards  and  forwards  in  the  wind.  Not  a  foot- 
step  was  heard  in  the  street,  nothing  but  the  heavy  patter 
of  the  rain  as  it  fell  ceaselessly  upon  the  broad  pavement. 
It  was,  indeed,  a  most  depressing  and  dispiriting  accom- 
paniment to  our  intended  excursion;  and  even  O'Leary, 
who  seemed  to  have  but  slight  sympathy  with  external  in- 
fluences, felt  it,  for  he  spoke  but  little,  and  was  scarcely 
ten  minutes  in  the  carriage  till  he  was  sound  asleep.  This 
was,  I  confess,  a  great  relief  to  me  ;  for  however  impressed 
I  was,  and  to  this  hour  am,  with  the  many  sterling  quali- 
ties of  my  poor  friend,  yet  I  acknowledge  that  this  was  not 
precisely  the  time  I  should  have  cared  for  their  exercise, 
and  would  have  much  preferred  the  companionship  of  a 
different  order  of  person,  even  though  less  long  acquainted 
with  him.  Trevanion  was,  of  all  others,  the  most  suitable 
for  this  purpose ;  and  I  felt  no  embarrassment  in  opening 
my  mind  freely  to  him  upon  subjects  which,  but  twenty- 
four  hours  previous,  I  could  not  have  imparted  to  a 
brother. 

There  is  no  such  unlocker  of  the  secrets  of  the  heart  as 
the  possibly  near  approach  of  death.  Indeed,  I  question  if 
a  great  deal  of  the  bitterness  the  thought  of  it  inspires  does 
not  depend  upon  that  very  circumstance.  The  reflection 
that  the  long-treasured  mystery  of  our  lives  (and  who  is 
there  without  some  such  ?)  is  about  to  become  known,  and 
the  secret  of  our  inmost  heart  laid  bare,  is  in  itself  depress- 
ing.    Not  one  kind  word  nor  one  embracing  adieu  to  those 


THE  DUEL.  Ill 

we  are  to  leave  forever  can  be  spoken  or  written  without 
calling  up  its  own  story  of  half-forgotten  griefs,  or,  still 
worse,  at  such  a  moment,  of  happiness  never  again  to  be 
partaken  of. 

"  I  cannot  explain  why,"  said  I  to  Trevanion,  "  but 
although  it  has  unfortunately  been  pretty  often  my  lot  to 
have  gone  out  on  occasions  like  this,  both  as  principal  and 
friend,  yet  never  before  did  I  feel  so  completely  depressed 
and  low-spirited  ;  and  never,  in  fact,  did  so  many  thoughts 
of  regret  arise  before  me  for  much  of  the  past,  and  sorrow 
for  the  chance  of  abandoning  the  future  —  " 

"I  can  understand,"  said  Trevanion,  interrupting.  "I 
have  heard  of  your  prospects  in  the  Callonby  family,  and 
certainly,  with  such  hopes,  I  can  well  conceive  how  little 
one  would  be  disposed  to  brook  the  slightest  incident  which 
could  interfere  with  their  accomplishment;  but  now  that 
your  cousin  Guy's  pretensions  in  that  quarter  are  at  an  end, 
I  suppose,  from  all  I  have  heard,  that  there  can  be  no 
great  obstacle  to  yours." 

"  Guy's  pretensions  at  an  end !  For  Heaven's  sake  tell 
me  all  you  know  of  this  affair ;  for  up  to  this  moment  I  am 
in  utter  ignorance  of  everything  regarding  his  position  in 
the  Callonby  family." 

"  Unfortunately,"  replied  Trevanion,  "  I  know  but  little  ; 
but  still  that  little  is  authentic,  Guy  himself  having  im- 
parted the  secret  to  a  very  intimate  friend  of  mine.  It  ap- 
pears, then,  that  your  cousin  had  heard  that  the  Callonbys 
had  been  very  civil  to  you  in  Ireland  and  made  all  manner 
of  advances  to  you,  —  having  done  so  under  the  impression 
that  you  were  the  other  nephew  of  Sir  Guy,  and  conse- 
quently the  heir  of  a  large  fortune,  that  is,  Guy  himself,  — 
and  that  they  had  never  discovered  the  mistake  during  the 
time  they  resided  in  Ireland,  when  they  not  only  permitted, 
but  even  encouraged  the  closest  intimacy  between  you  and 
Lady  Jane.     Is  so  far  true  ?  " 

"  I  have  long  suspected  it.  Indeed,  in  no  other  way  can 
I  account  for  the  reception  I  met  with  from  the  Callonbys. 
But  is  it  possible  that  Lady  Jane  could  have  lent  herself  to 
anything  so  unworthy  —  " 


112  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Pray  hear  me  out,"  said  Trevanion,  who  was  evidently 
struck  by  the  despondency  of  my  voice  and  manner.  "  Guy, 
having  heard  of  their  mistake,  and  arguing  well  to  himself 
from  this  evidence  of  their  disposition,  no  sooner  heard  of 
their  arrival  in  Paris  than  he  came  over  here  and  got 
introduced  to  them.  From  that  time  he  scarcely  ever  left 
their  house,  except  to  accompany  them  into  society  or  to 
the  theatres.  It  is  said  that  with  Lady  Jane  he  made  no 
progress.  Her  manner,  at  the  beginning  cold  and  formal, 
became  daily  more  so,  until  at  last  he  was  half  disposed  to 
abandon  the  pursuit,  —  in  which,  by  the  by,  he  has  since 
confessed,  ambitious  views  entered  more  than  any  affection 
for  the  lady,  —  when  the  thought  struck  him  to  benefit  by 
what  he  supposed  at  first  to  be  the  great  bar  to  his  success. 
He  suddenly  pretended  to  be  only  desirous  of  intimacy 
with  Lady  Jane  from  having  heard  so  much  of  her  from 
you ;  affected  to  be  greatly  in  your  confidence  ;  and,  in  fact, 
assumed  the  character  of  a  friend  cognizant  of  all  your 
feelings  and  hopes,  and  ardently  desiring,  by  every  means 
in  his  power,  to  advance  your  interests  —  " 

"  And  was  it  thus  he  succeeded  ?  "  I  broke  in. 

"  'T  was  thus  he  endeavored  to  succeed,"  said  Trevanion. 

"  Ah !  with  what  success  I  but  too  well  know,"  said  I. 
"  My  uncle  himself  showed  me  a  letter  from  Guy  in  which 
he  absolutely  speaks  of  the  affair  as  settled,  and  talks  of 
Lady  Jane  as  about  to  be  his  wife." 

"  That  may  be  all  quite  true ;  but  a  little  consideration  of 
Guy's  tactics  will  show  what  he  intended,  for  I  find  that 
he  induced  your  uncle,  by  some  representations  of  his, 
to  make  the  most  handsome  proposals,  with  regard  to  the 
marriage,  to  the  Callonbys,  and  that,  to  make  the  story 
short,  nothing  but  the  decided  refusal  of  Lady  Jane  —  who 
at  length  saw  through  his  entire  game  —  prevented  the 
match." 

"  And  then  she  did  refuse  him  ? "  said  I,  Avith  ill- 
repressed  exultation. 

"  Of  that  there  can  be  no  doubt ;  for  independently  of  all 
the  gossip  and  quizzing  upon  the  subject  to  which  Guy  was 


THE  DUEL.  113 

exposed  in  the  coteries,  he  made  little  secret  of  it  himself, 
openly  avowing  that  he  did  not  consider  a  repulse  a  defeat, 
and  that  he  resolved  to  sustain  the  siege  as  vigorously  as 
ever." 

However  interested  I  felt  in  all  Trevanion  was  telling 
me,  I  could  not  help  falling  into  a  train  of  thinking  over 
my  first  acquaintance  with  the  Callonbys.  There  are,  per- 
haps, but  few  things  more  humiliating  than  the  knowledge 
that  any  attention  or  consideration  we  have  met  with  has 
been  paid  us  in  mistake  for  another ;  and  in  the  very  pro- 
portion that  they  were  prized  before,  are  they  detested 
when  the  truth  is  known  to  us. 

To  all  the  depressing  influences  these  thoughts  sug- 
gested, came  the  healing  balm  that  Lady  Jane  was  true  to 
me ;  that  she  at  least,  however  others  might  be  biassed  by 
worldly  considerations,  —  that  she  cared  for  me,  for  myself 
alone.  My  reader  (alas !  for  my  character  for  judgment) 
knows  upon  how  little  I  founded  the  conviction ;  but  I 
have  often,  in  these  "  Confessions,"  avowed  my  especial 
failing  to  be  a  great  taste  for  self-deception,  and  here  was 
a  capital  occasion  for  its  indulgence. 

"  We  shall  have  abundant  time  to  discuss  this  later  on," 
said  Trevanion,  laying  his  hand  upon  my  shoulder  to  rouse 
my  wandering  attention,  "for  now,  I  perceive,  we  have 
only  eight  minutes  to  spare." 

As  he  spoke,  a  dragoon  officer,  in  an  undress,  rode  up  to 
the  window  of  the  carriage,  and  looking  steadily  at  our 
party  for  a  few  seconds,  asked  if  we  were  "  Messieurs  les 
Anglais ;"  and  almost  without  waiting  for  reply,  added, 
"  You  had  better  not  go  any  farther  in  your  carriage,  for 
the  next  turn  of  the  road  will  bring  you  in  sight  of  the 
village." 

We  accordingly  stopped  the  driver,  and  having  with 
some  difficulty  aroused  O'Leary,  got  out  upon  the  road. 
The  stranger  here  gave  his  horse  to  a  groom  and  proceeded 
to  guide  us  through  a  corn-field  by  a  narrow  path,  with 
whose  windings  and  crossings  he  appeared  quite  conver- 
sant. We  at  length  reached  the  brow  of  a  little  hill,  from 
vox-,  ii.  —  8 


114  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

which  an  extended  view  of  the  country  lay  before  us,  show- 
ing the  Seine  winding  its  tranquil  course  between  the 
richly  tilled  fields,  dotted  with  many  a  pretty  cottage. 
Turning  abruptly  from  this  point,  our  guide  led  us,  by  a 
narrow  and  steep  path,  into  a  little  glen  planted  with  pop- 
lars and  willows.  A  small  stream  ran  through  this,  and  by 
the  noise  we  soon  detected  that  a  mill  Avas  not  far  distant, 
which  another  turning  brought  us  at  once  in  front  of. 

And  here  I  cannot  help  dwelling  upon  the  scene  which 
met  our  view.  In  the  porch  of  the  little  rural  mill  sat  two 
gentlemen,  one  of  whom  I  immediately  recognized  as  the 
person  who  had  waited  upon  me,  and  the  other  I  rightly 
conjectured  to  be  my  adversary.  Before  them  stood  a 
small  table  covered  with  a  spotless  napkin,  upon  which  a 
breakfast  equipage  was  spread,  —  a  most  inviting  melon 
and  a  long,  slender-necked  bottle,  reposing  in  a  little  ice- 
pail,  forming  part  of  the  picture.  My  opponent  was  coolly 
enjoying  his  cigar,  a  half-finished  cup  of  coffee  beside  him ; 
his  friend  was  occupied  in  examining  the  caps  of  the  duel- 
ling-pistols, which  were  placed  upon  a  chair.  No  sooner 
had  we  turned  the  angle  which  brought  us  in  view  than 
they  both  rose,  and  taking  off  their  hats  with  much  cour- 
tesy, bade  us  good  morning. 

"  May  I  offer  you  a  cup  of  coffee  ?  "  said  Monsieur  de 
Joncourt  to  me  as  I  came  up,  at  the  same  time  filling  it 
out,  and  pushing  over  a  little  flask  of  cognac  towards  me. 

A  look  from  Trevanion  decided  my  acceptance  of  the 
proffered  civility,  and  I  seated  myself  in  the  chair  beside 
the  baron.  Trevanion  meanwhile  had  engaged  my  adver- 
sary in  conversation  along  with  the  stranger  who  had  been 
our  guide,  leaving  O'Leary  alone  unoccupied,  which,  how- 
ever, he  did  not  long  remain;  for  although  uninvited  by 
the  others,  he  seized  a  knife  and  fork  and  commenced 
a  vigorous  attack  upon  a  partridge-pie  near  him,  and  with 
equal  absence  of  ceremony  uncorked  the  champagne  and 
filled  out  a  foaming  goblet,  nearly  one  third  of  the  whole 
bottle,  adding,  — 

(t  I  think,  Mr.  Lorrequcr,  there  's  nothing  like  showing 


THE  DUEL.  115 

them  that  we  are  just  as  cool  and  unconcerned  as  them- 
selves." 

If  I  might  judge  from  the  looks  of  the  party,  a  happier 
mode  of  convincing  them  of  our  "  free  and  easy  "  feelings 
could  not  possibly  have  been  discovered.  From  any  mor- 
tification this  proceeding  might  have  caused  me,  I  was 
speedily  relieved  by  Trevanion  calling  O'Leary  to  one  side 
while  he  explained  to  him  that  he  must  nominally  act  as 
second  on  the  ground,  as  Trevanion,  being  a  resident  in 
Paris,  might  become  liable  to  a  prosecution  should  any- 
thing serious  arise,  while  O'Leary,  as  a  mere  passer 
through,  could  cross  the  country  into  Germany  and  avoid 
all  trouble. 

O'Leary  at  once  acceded,  —  perhaps  the  more  readily 
because  he  expected  to  be  allowed  to  return  to  his  break- 
fast ;  but  in  this  he  soon  found  himself  mistaken,  for  the 
whole  party  now  rose,  and,  preceded  by  the  baron,  followed 
the  course  of  the  little  stream. 

After  about  five  minutes  walking  we  found  ourselves  at 
the  outlet  of  the  glen,  which  was  formed  by  a  large  stone 
quarry,  making  a  species  of  amphitheatre,  with  lofty  walls 
of  rugged  granite  rising  thirty  or  forty  feet  on  either  side 
of  us.  The  ground  was  smooth  and  level  as  a  boarded 
floor,  and  certainly,  to  amateurs  in  these  sort  of  matters 
presented  a  most  perfect  spot  for  a  "  meeting." 

The  stranger  who  had  just  joined  us  could  not  help  re- 
marking our  looks  of  satisfaction  at  the  choice  of  the 
ground,  and  observed  to  me, — 

"  This  is  not  the  first  affair  that  this  little  spot  has  wit- 
nessed, and  the  '  Mill  of  St.  Cloud '  is,  I  think,  the  very 
best  'meet'  about  Paris." 

Trevanion,  who  during  these  few  minutes  had  been  en- 
gaged with  De  Joncourt,  now  drew  me  aside. 

"Well,  Lorrequer,  have  you  any  recollection  now  of 
having  seen  your  opponent  before,  or  can  you  make  a  guess 
at  the  source  of  all  this  ?  " 

"Never  till  this  instant,"  said  I,  "have  I  beheld  him,"  as 
I  looked  towards  the  tall,  stoutly  built  figure  of  my  adver- 


116  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

sary,  who  was  very  leisurely  detaching  a  cordon  from  his 
tightly  fitting  frock,  —  doubtless  to  prevent  its  attracting 
my  aim. 

"  Well,  never  miud,  I  shall  manage  everything  properly. 
What  can  you  do  with  the  small-sword,  for  they  have 
rapiers  at  the  mill  ?  " 

"Nothing  whatever;  I  have  not  fenced  since  I  was  a 
boy." 

"No  matter,  then,  we'll  fight  at  a  barriere, — I  know 
they're  not  prepared  for  that  from  Englishmen;  so  just 
step  on  one  side  now,  and  leave  me  to  talk  it  over." 

As  the  limited  nature  of  the  ground  did  not  permit  me  to 
retire  to  a  distance,  I  became  involuntarily  aware  of  a  dia- 
logue which  even  the  seriousness  of  the  moment  could 
scarcely  keep  me  from  laughing  at,  outright. 

It  was  necessary,  for  the  sake  of  avoiding  any  possible 
legal  difficulty  in  the  result,  that  O'Leary  should  give  his 
assent  to  every  step  of  the  arrangement ;  and  being  almost 
totally  ignorant  of  French,  Trevanion  had  not  only  to  trans- 
late for  him,  but  also  to  render  in  reply  O'Leary's  own 
comments  or  objections  to  the  propositions  of  the  others. 

"  Then  it  is  agreed,  —  we  fight  at  a  barriere"  said 
Captain  de  Joncourt. 

"  What 's  that,  Trevanion  ?  " 

"  AVe  have  agreed  to  place  them  at  a  barriere"  replied 
Trevanion. 

"That's  strange,"  muttered  O'Leary  to  himself,  who, 
knowing  that  the  word  meant  a  "  turnpike,"  never  supposed 
it  had  any  other  signification. 

"  Vingt-quatre  pas,  n'est-ce-pas  ?  "  said  De  Joncourt. 

"  Too  far,"  interposed  Trevanion. 

"  What  does  he  say  now  ?  "  asked  O'Leary. 

"  Twenty-four  paces  for  the  distance." 

"Twenty -four  of  my  teeth,  he  means,"  said  O'Leary, 
snapping  his  fingers.  "  What  does  he  think  of  the  length 
of  Sackville  Street  ?     Ask  him  that,  will  ye  ?  " 

"  What  says  Monsieur  ?  "  said  the  Frenchman. 

"  He  thinks  the  distance  much  too  great." 


THE   DUEL.  117 

"  He  may  be  mistaken,"  said  the  Captain,  half  sneeringly. 
"My  friend  is  de  la  premiere  force.'1'' 

"That  must  be  something  impudent,  from  your  looks, 
Mr.  Trevanion.  Isn't  it  a  thousand  pities  I  can't  speak 
French  ?  " 

"  What  say  you,  then,  to  twelve  paces  ?  Fire  together, 
and  two  shots  each,  if  the  first  fire  be  inconclusive,"  said 
Trevanion. 

"And  if  necessary,"  added  the  Frenchman,  carelessly, 
"  conclude  with  these,"  touching  the  swords  with  his  foot 
as  he  spoke. 

"  The  choice  of  the  weapon  lies  with  us,  I  opine,"  replied 
Trevanion.  "  We  have  already  named  pistols,  and  by  them 
we  shall  decide  this  matter." 

It  was  at  length,  after  innumerable  objections,  agreed 
upon  that  we  should  be  placed  back  to  back,  and,  at  a  word 
given,  each  walk  forward  to  a  certain  distance  marked  out 
by  a  stone,  where  we  were  to  halt,  and  at  the  signal  "  Un" 
"Deux"  turn  round  and  fire. 

This,  which  is  essentially  a  French  invention  in  duelling, 
was  perfectly  new  to  me,  but  by  no  means  so  to  Trevanion, 
who  was  fully  aware  of  the  immense  consequence  of  not 
giving  even  a  momentary  opportunity  for  aim  to  my  antago- 
nist; and  in  this  mode  of  firing  the  most  practised  and 
deadly  shot  is  liable  to  err,  particularly  if  the  signal  be 
given  quickly. 

While  Trevanion  and  the  Captain  were  measuring  out  the 
ground,  a  little  circumstance  which  was  enacted  near  me 
was  certainly  not  over-calculated  to  strengthen  my  nerve. 
The  stranger  who  had  led  us  to  the  ground  had  begun  to 
examine  the  pistols,  and  finding  that  one  of  them  was 
loaded,  turned  towards  my  adversary,  saying,  "  De  Hault- 
penne,  you  have  forgotten  to  draw  the  charge.  Come,  let 
us  see  what  vein  you  are  in."  At  the  same  time,  drawing 
off  his  large  cavalry  glove,  he  handed  the  pistol  to  his 
friend.     "  A  double-napoleon  you  don't  hit  the  thumb." 

"Done!"  said  the  other,  adjusting  the  weapon  in  his 
hand.     The  action  was  scarcely  performed,  when  the  bettor 


118  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

flung  the  glove  into  the  air  with  all  his  force.  My  op- 
ponent raised  his  pistol,  waited  for  an  instant  till  the  glove, 
having  attained  its  greatest  height,  turned  to  fall  again; 
then  click  went  the  trigger,  the  glove  turned  round  and 
round  half  a  dozen  times,  and  fell  about  twenty  yards  off, 
and  the  thumb  was  found  cut  clearly  off  at  the  juncture 
with  the  hand. 

This  —  which  did  not  occupy  half  as  long  as  I  have  spent 
in  recounting  it  —  was  certainly  a  pleasant  introduction  to 
standing  at  fifteen  yards  from  the  principal  actor ;  and  I 
should  doubtless  have  felt  it  in  all  its  force,  had  not  my 
attention  been  drawn  off  by  the  ludicrous  expression  of  grief 
in  O'Leary's  countenance,  who  evidently  regarded  me  as 
already  defunct. 

"  Now,  Lorrequer,  we  are  ready,"  said  Trevanion,  coming 
forward ;  and  then,  lowering  his  voice,  added,  "  All  is  in 
your  favor ;  I  have  won  the  '  word,'  which  I  shall  give  the 
moment  you  halt.  So  turn  and  fire  at  once.  Be  sure  not 
to  go  too  far  round  in  the  turn,  —  that  is  the  invariable 
error  in  this  mode  of  firing ;  only,  no  hurry  !  —  Be  calm." 

"  Now,  messieurs,"  said  De  Joncourt  as  he  approached 
with  his  friend  leaning  upon  his  arm,  and  placed  him  in 
the  spot  allotted  to  him.  Trevanion  then  took  my  arm, 
and  placed  me  back  to  back  to  my  antagonist.  As  I  took 
up  my  ground,  it  so  chanced  that  my  adversary's  spur 
slightly  grazed  me,  upon  which  he  immediately  turned 
round,  and  with  the  most  engaging  smile,  begged  a  "  thou- 
sand pardons,"  and  hoped  1  was  not  hurt. 

O'Leary,  who  saw  the  incident  and  guessed  the  action 
aright,   called  out,  — 

"  Oh,  the  cold-blooded  villain  !  the  devil  a  chance  for 
you,  Mr.  Lorrerpier." 

"  Messieurs,  your  pistols,"  said  De  Joncourt,  who,  as  he 
handed  the  weapons  and  repeated  once  more  the  conditions 
of  the  combat,  gave  the  word  to  march. 

I  now  walked  slowly  forward  to  the  place  marked  out  by 
the  stone ;  but  it  seemed  that  I  must  have  been  in  advance 
of  my  opponent,  for  I  remember  some  seconds  elapsed  be- 


THE   DUEL. 


119 


fore  Trevanion  coughed  slightly,  and  then  with  a  clear,  full 
voice  called  out,  "  Un,"  "  Deux  !  "  I  had  scarcely  turned 
myself  half  round,  when  my  right  arm  was  suddenly  lifted 
up,  as  if  by  a  galvanic  shock.  My  pistol  jerked  upwards 
and  exploded  the  same  moment,  and  then  dropped  power- 


lessly  from  my  hand,  which  I  now  felt  was  covered  with 
warm  blood  from  a  wound  near  the  elbow.  From  the 
acute  but  momentary  pang  this  gave  me,  my  attention  was 
soon  called  off ;  for  scarcely  had  my  arm  been  struck,  when 
a  loud  clattering  noise  to  the  left  induced  me  to  turn,  and 
then,  to  my  astonishment,  I  saw  my  friend  O'Leary  about 
twelve  feet  from   the  ground,  hanging   on   by  some  ash 


120  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

twigs  that  grew  from  the  clefts  of  the  granite.  Fragments 
of  broken  rock  were  falling  around  him,  and  his  own  posi- 
tion momentarily  threatened  a  downfall.  He  was  scream- 
ing with  all  his  might ;  but  what  he  said  was  entirely  lost 
in  the  shouts  of  laughter  of  Trevanion  and  the  Frenchmen, 
who  could  scarcely  stand  with  the  immoderate  exuberance 
of  their  mirth. 

I  had  no  time  to  run  to  his  aid,  —  which,  although 
wounded,  I  should  have  done,  —  when  the  branch  he  clung 
to  slowly  yielded  with  his  weight,  and  the  round,  plump 
figure  of  my  poor  friend  rolled  over  the  little  cleft  of  rock, 
and  after  a  few  faint  struggles  came  tumbling  heavily  down, 
and  at  last  lay  peaceably  in  the  deep  heather  at  the  bottom, 
his  cries  the  whole  time  being  loud  enough  to  rise  even 
above  the  vociferous  laughter  of  the  others. 

I  now  ran  forward,  as  did  Trevanion,  when  O'Leary, 
turning  his  eyes  towards  me,  said,  in  the  must  piteous 
manner,  — 

"  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  forgive  you ;  here  is  my  hand.  Bad 
luck  to  their  French  way  of  fighting,  that 's  all ;  it 's  only 
good  for  killing  one  's  friend.  I  thought  I  was  safe  up 
there,  come  what  might." 

"  My  dear  O'Leary,"  said  I,  in  an  agony  which  prevented 
my  minding  the  laughing  faces  around  me,  "surely  you 
don't  mean  to  say  that  I  have  wounded  you  ?  " 

"  No,  dear,  not  wounded,  only  killed  me  outright,  — 
through  the  brain  it  must  be,  from  the  torture  I  'm 
suffering. 

The  shout  with  which  this  speech  was  received  suffi- 
ciently aroused  me ;  while  Trevanion,  with  a  voice  nearly 
choked  with  laughter,  said,  — 

"Why,  Lorrequer,  did  you  not  see  that  your  pistol,  on 
being  struck,  threw  your  ball  high  up  on  the  quarry  ? 
Fortunately,  however,  about  a  foot  and  a  half  above  Mr. 
O'Leary's  head,  whose  most  serious  wounds  are  his 
scratched  hands  and  bruised  bones  from  his  tumble." 

This  explanation,  which  was  perfectly  satisfactory  to  me, 
was  by  no  means  so  consoling  to  poor  O'Leary,  who  lay 


THE  DUEL.  121 

quite  unconscious  to  all  around,  moaning  in  the  most 
melancholy  manner.  Some  of  the  blood,  which  continued 
to  flow  fast  from  my  wound,  having  dropped  upon  his 
face,  roused  him  a  little,  but  only  to  increase  his  lamen- 
tation for  his  own  destiny,  which  he  believed  was  fast 
accomplishing. 

"Through  the  skull,  clean  through  the  skull,  and  pre- 
serving my  senses  to  the  last !  Mr.  Lorrequer,  stoop  down, 
—  it  is  a  dying  man  asks  you  :  don't  refuse  me  a  last  re- 
quest. There  's  neither  luck  nor  grace,  honor  nor  glory, 
in  such  a  way  of  fighting ;  so  jnst  promise  me  you  '11  shoot 
that  grinning  baboon  there  when  he 's  going  off  the  ground, 
since  it 's  the  fashion  to  fire  at  a  man  with  his  back  to  you. 
Bring  him  down,  and  I  '11  die  easy." 

And  with  these  words  he  closed  his  eyes  and  straight- 
ened out  his  legs,  stretched  his  arms  on  either  side,  and 
arranged  himself  as  much  corpse  fashion  as  the  circum- 
stances of  the  ground  would  permit,  while  I  now  freely 
participated  in  the  mirth  of  the  others,  which,  loud  and 
boisterous  as  it  was,  never  reached  the  ears  of  O'Leary. 

My  arm  had  now  become  so  painful  that  I  was  obliged 
to  ask  Trevanion  to  assist  me  in  getting  off  my  coat.  The 
surprise  of  the  Frenchmen  on  learning  that  I  was  wounded 
was  very  considerable,  O'Leary's  catastrophe  having  exclu- 
sively engaged  all  attention.  My  arm  was  now  examined, 
when  it  was  discovered  that  the  ball  had  passed  through 
from  one  side  to  the  other,  without  apparently  touching  the 
bone  ;  the  bullet  and  the  portion  of  my  coat  carried  in  by  it 
both  lay  in  my  sleeve.  The  only  serious  consequence  to  be 
apprehended  was  the  wound  of  the  blood-vessel,  which  con- 
tinued to  pour  forth  blood  unceasingly,  and  I  was  just  sur- 
geon enough  to  guess  that  an  artery  had  been  cut. 

Trevanion  bound  his  handkerchief  tightly  across  the 
wound  and  assisted  me  to  the  high  road,  which,  so  sudden 
was  the  loss  of  blood,  I  reached  with  difficulty.  During  all 
these  proceedings  nothing  possibly  could  be  more  kind  and 
considerate  than  the  conduct  of  our  opponents.  All  the 
bold  and  swaggering  air  which  they  had  deemed  the  essentiel 


122  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

before,  at  once  fled,  and  in  its  place  we  found  the  most  gen- 
tlemanlike attention  and  true  politeness. 

As  soon  as  I  was  enabled  to  speak  upon  the  matter,  I 
begged  Trevanion  to  look  to  poor  O'Leary,  who  still  lay 
upon  the  ground  in  a  state  of  perfect  unconsciousness. 
Captain  de  Joncourt,  on  hearing  my  wish,  at  once  returned 
to  the  quarry,  and  with  the  greatest  difficulty  persuaded  my 
friend  to  rise  and  endeavor  to  walk,  which  at  last  he  did 
attempt,  calling  him  to  bear  witness  that  it  perhaps  was 
the  only  case  on  record  where  a  man  with  a  bullet  in  his 
brain  had  made  such  an  exertion. 

With  a  view  to  my  comfort  and  quiet,  they  got  him  into 
D'Haultpenne's  cab ;  and  having  undertaken  to  send  Dupuy- 
tren  to  me  immediately  on  my  reaching  Paris,  took  their 
leave,  and  Trevanion  and  I  set  out  homeward. 

Not  all  my  exhaustion  and  debility,  nor  even  the  acute 
pain  I  was  suffering,  could  prevent  my  laughing  at  O'Leary's 
adventure ;  and  it  required  all  Trevanion's  prudence  to  pre- 
vent my  indulging  too  far  in  my  recollection  of  it. 

When  we  reached  Meurice's  I  found  Dupuytren  in  wait- 
ing, who  immediately  pronounced  the  main  artery  of  the 
limb  as  wounded,  and  almost  as  instantaneously  proceeded 
to  pass  a  ligature  round  it.  This  painful  business  being 
concluded,  I  was  placed  upon  a  sofa ;  and  being  plentifully 
supplied  with  lemonade  and  enjoined  to  keep  quiet,  left  to 
my  own  meditations,  such  as  they  were,  till  evening,  — 
Trevanion  having  taken  upon  him  to  apologize  for  our  ab- 
sence at  Mrs.  Bingham's  dejeuner,  and  O'Leary  being  fast 
asleep  in  his  own  apartment. 


CHAPTER  XII. 

EAKLY    RECOLLECTIONS. A    FIRST    LOVE. 

I  oow  of  no  sensations  so  very  nearly  alike  as  those 
felt  on  awaking  after  very  sudden  and  profuse  loss  of  blood, 
and  those  resulting  from  a  large  dose  of  opium.  The  dizzi- 
ness, the  confusion,  and  the  abstraction  at  first,  gradually 
yielding,  as  the  senses  become  clearer,  to  a  vague  and  indis- 
tinct consciousness ;  then  the  strange  mistiness  in  which 
fact  and  fiction  are  wrapped  up,  —  the  confounding  of 
persons  and  places  and  times,  not  so  as  to  embarrass  and 
annoy,  for  the  very  debility  you  feel  subdues  all  irritation, 
but  rather  to  present  a  panoramic  picture  of  odd  and 
incongruous  events  more  pleasing  than  otherwise. 

Of  the  circumstances  by  which  I  was  thus  brought  to  a 
sick  couch  I  had  not  even  the  most  vague  recollection  ;  the 
faces  and  the  dress  of  all  those  I  had  lately  seen  were 
vividly  before  me,  but  how,  and  for  what  purpose,  I  knew 
not.  Something  in  their  kindness  and  attention  had  left 
an  agreeable  impression  upon  my  mind,  and  without  being 
able,  or  even  attempting  to  trace  it,  I  felt  happy  in  the 
thought.  While  thus  the  "  hour  before  "  was  dim  and  in- 
distinct, the  events  of  years  past  were  vividly  and  brightly 
pictured  before  me ;  and  strange,  too,  the  more  remote  the 
period,  the  more  did  it  seem  palpable  and  present  to  my 
imagination.  For  so  it  is,  there  is  in  memory  a  species  of 
mental  long-sightedness  which,  though  blind  to  the  object 
close  beside  you,  can  reach  the  blue  mountains  and  the  starry 
skies  which  lie  full  many  a  league  away.  Is  this  a  malady  ? 
or  is  it  rather  a  providential  gift  to  alleviate  the  tedious 
hours  of  the  sick-bed  and  cheer  the  lonely  sufferer,  whose 
thoughts  are  his  only  realm  ? 


124  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

My  school-boy  days  in  all  their  holiday  excitement ;  the 
bank  where  I  had  culled  the  earliest  cowslips  of  the  year; 
the  clear  but  rapid  stream  where  days  long  I  have  watched 
the  speckled  trout  as  they  swam  peacefully  beneath,  or 
shook  their  bright  fins  in  the  gay  sunshine  ;  the  gorgeous 
dragon-hy  that  played  above  the  water  and  dipped  his 
bright  wings  in  its  ripple,  —  they  were  all  before  me.  And 
then  came  the  thought  of  school  itself,  with  its  little  world 
of  boyish  cares  and  emulations,  —  the  early  imbibed  passion 
for  success ;  the  ardent  longing  for  superiority ;  the  high 
and  swelling  feeling  of  the  heart,  as  home  drew  near,  to 
think  that  I  had  gained  the  wished-for  prize,  the  object  of 
many  an  hour's  toil,  the  thought  of  many  a  long  night's 
dream  ;  my  father's  smile ;  my  mother's  kiss  !  Oh  !  what  a 
very  world  of  tender  memory  that  one  thought  suggests  ; 
for  what  are  all  our  later  successes  in  life  —  how  bright 
soever  our  fortune  be  —  compared  with  the  early  triumphs 
of  our  infancy  !  Where,  among  the  jealous  rivalry  of  some, 
the  cold  and  half-wrung  praise  of  others,  the  selfish  and 
unsympathizing  regard  of  all,  shall  we  find  anything  to 
repay  us  for  the  swelling  ecstasy  of  our  young  hearts  as 
those  who  have  cradled  and  loved  us  grow  proud  in  our 
successes  ?  For  myself,  a  life  that  has  failed  in  every 
prestige  of  those  that  prophesied  favorably,  years  that  have 
followed  on  each  other  only  to  blight  the  promise  that  kind 
and  well-wishing  friends  foretold,  leave  but  little  to  dwell 
upon  that  can  be  reckoned  as  success.  And  yet,  some 
moments  I  have  had  which  half  seemed  to  realize  my  early 
dream  of  ambition  and  rouse  my  spirit  within  me  ;  but 
what  were  they  all,  compared  to  my  boyish  glories  ?  What 
the  passing  excitement  one's  own  heart  inspires  in  its  lonely 
and  selfish  solitude  when  compared  with  that  little  world 
of  sympathy  and  love  our  early  home  teemed  with,  as, 
proud  in  some  trifling  distinction,  we  fell  into  a  mother's 
arms  and  heard  our  father's  "  God  bless  you,  boy  ?  "  No, 
no ;  the  world  has  no  requital  for  this.  It  is  like  the  bright 
day-spring,  which  as  its  glories  gild  the  east,  display  before 
us  a  whole  world  of  beauty  and  promise.     Blighted  hopes 


EARLY   RECOLLECTIONS.  125 

have  not  withered,  false  friendships  have  not  scathed,  cold, 
selfish  interest  has  not  yet  hardened  our  hearts  or  dried  up 
our  affections,  and  we  are  indeed  happy ;  but  equally  like 
the  burst  of  morning  is  it  fleeting  and  short-lived,  and 
equally  so,  too,  does  it  pass  away,  never,  never  to  return. 

From  thoughts  like  these  my  mind  wandered  on  to  more 
advanced  years,  when,  emerging  from  very  boyhood,  I  half 
believed  myself  a  man,  and  was  fully  convinced  I  was  in 
love. 

Perhaps,  after  all,  for  the  time  it  lasted  —  ten  days,  I 
think  —  it  was  the  most  sincere  passion  I  ever  felt.  I  had 
been  spending  some  weeks  at  a  small  watering-place  in 
Wales  with  some  relatives  of  my  mother.  There  were,  as 
might  be  supposed,  but  few  "  distractions  "  in  such  a  place, 
save  the  scenery  and  an  occasional  day's  fishing  in  the  little 
river  of  Dolgelly,  which  ran  near.  In  all  these  little  rambles 
which  the  younger  portion  of  the  family  made  together, 
frequent  mention  was  ever  being  made  of  a  visit  from  a 
very  dear  cousin,  and  to  which  all  looked  forward  with  the 
greatest  eagerness,  —  the  elder  ones  of  the  party  with  a 
certain  air  of  quiet  pleasure,  as  though  they  knew  more 
than  they  said,  and  the  younger  with  all  the  childish  ex- 
uberance of  youthful  delight.  Clara  Mourtray  seemed  to 
be,  from  all  I  was  hourly  hearing,  the  very  paragon  and 
pattern  of  everything.  If  any  one  was  praised  for  beauty, 
Clara  was  immediately  pronounced  much  prettier ;  did  any 
one  sing,  Clara's  voice  and  taste  were  far  superior.  In  our 
homeward  walk,  should  the  shadows  of  the  dark  hills  fall 
with  a  picturesque  effect  upon  the  blue  lake,  some  one  was 
sure  to  say,  "  Oh,  how  Clara  would  like  to  sketch  that ! "  In 
short,  there  was  no  charm  nor  accomplishment  ever  the  gift 
of  woman  that  Clara  did  not  possess,  or,  what  amounted 
pretty  much  to  the  same  thing,  that  my  relatives  did  not 
implicitly  give  her  credit  for.  The  constantly  recurring 
praises  of  the  same  person  affect  us  always  differently  as 
we  go  on  in  life.  In  youth  the  prevailing  sentiment  is  an 
ardent  desire  to  see  the  prodigy  of  whom  we  have  heard  so 
much ;  in  after  years,  heartily  to  detest  what  hourly  hurts 


126  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

our  self-love  by  comparisons,  —  we  would  take  any  steps 
to  avoid  meeting  what  we  have  inwardly  decreed  to  be  a 
"  bore."  The  former  was  my  course ;  and  though  my  cu- 
riosity was  certainly  very  great,  I  had  made  up  my  mind  to 
as  great  a  disappointment,  and  half  wished  for  the  long 
arrival  as  a  means  of  criticising  what  they  could  see  no 
fault  in. 

The  wished-for  evening  at  length  came,  and  we  all  set 
out  upon  a  walk  to  meet  the  carriage  which  was  to  bring 
the  long-wished-for  Clara  among  us.  We  had  not  walked 
above  a  mile  when  the  eager  eye  of  the  foremost  detected  a 
cloud  of  dust  upon  the  road  at  some  distance,  and  after  a 
few  minutes  more,  four  posters  were  seen  coining  along  at 
a  tremendous  rate.  The  next  moment  she  was  making  the 
tour  of  about  a  dozen  uncles,  aunts,  cousins,  and  cousines, 
none  of  whom,  it  appeared  to  me,  felt  any  peculiar  desire 
to  surrender  the  hearty  embrace  to  the  next  of  kin  in  suc- 
cession. At  last  she  came  to  me,  when,  perhaps,  in  the 
confusion  of  the  moment,  nor  exactly  remembering  whether 
or  not  she  had  seen  me  before,  she  stood  for  a  moment 
silent,  a  deep  blush  mantling  her  lovely  cheek,  masses  of 
waving  brown  hair  disordered  and  floating  upon  her 
shoulders,  her  large  and  liquid  blue  eyes  beaming  upon  me. 
One  look  was  enough  ;  I  was  deeply,  irretrievably  in  love. 

"  Our  cousin  Harry,  Harry  Lorrequer,  —  wild  Harry, 
as  we  used  to  call  him,  Clara,"  said  one  of  the  girls, 
introducing  me. 

She  held  out  her  hand  and  said  something  with  a  smile, 
—  what,  I  know  not,  nor  can  I  tell  how  I  replied  ;  but  some- 
thing absurd  it  must  have  been,  for  they  all  laughed  heart- 
ily, and  the  worthy  papa  himself  tapped  my  shoulder 
jestingly,  adding,— 

"Never  mind,  Harry;  you  will  do  better  one  day,  or  I  am 
much  mistaken  in  you." 

Whether  I  was  conscious  that  I  had  behaved  foolishly  or 
not,  I  cannot  well  say ;  but  the  whole  of  that  night  I 
thought  over  plans  innumerable  how  I  should  succeed  in 
putting  myself  forward  before  "  Cousin  Clara,"  and  vindi- 


EARLY  RECOLLECTIONS.  127 

eating  myself  against  any  imputation  of  schoolboy  manner- 
ism that  my  first  appearance  might  have  caused. 

The  next  clay  we  remained  at  home.  Clara  was  too 
much  fatigued  to  walk  out,  and  none  of  us  would  leave 
her.  What  a  day  of  happiness  that  was !  I  knew  some- 
thing of  music,  and  could  sing  a  second.  Clara  was  de- 
lighted at  this,  for  the  others  had  not  cultivated  singing 
much.  We  therefore  spent  part  of  the  morning  in  this 
way.  Then  she  produced  her  sketch-book,  and  I  brought 
out  mine,  and  we  had  a  mutual  interchange  of  prisoners. 
What  cutting  out  of  leaves  and  detaching  of  rice-paper 
landscapes  !  Then  she  came  out  upon  the  lawn  to  see  my 
pony  leap,  and  promised  to  ride  him  the  following  day. 
She  patted  the  greyhounds,  and  said  Gypsy,  which  was 
mine,  was  the  prettiest.  In  a  word,  before  night  fell, 
Clara  had  won  my  heart  in  its  every  fibre,  and  I  went  to 
my  room  the  very  happiest  of  mortals. 

I  need  not  chronicle  my  next  three  days,  —  to  me  the 
most  glorious  trois  jours  of  my  life.  Clara  had  evidently 
singled  me  out  and  preferred  me  to  all  the  rest.  It  was 
beside  me  she  rode,  upon  my  arm  she  leaned  in  walking, 
and,  to  fill  me  with  delight  unutterable,  I  overheard  her 
say  to  my  uncle  :  "  Oh,  I  doat  upon  dear  Harry  !  And  it 
is  so  pleasant,  for  I  'm  sure  Mortimer  will  be  so  jealous." 

"  And  who  is  Mortimer  ?  "  thought  I ;  "  he  is  a  new 
character  in  the  piece,  of  whom  we  have  seen  nothing." 

I  was  not  long  in  doubt  upon  this  head,  for  that  very 
day,  at  dinner,  the  identical  Mortimer  presented  himself. 
He  was  a  fine,  dashing-looking,  soldier-like  fellow,  of  about 
thirty-five,  with  a  heavy  mustache  and  a  bronzed  cheek,  — 
rather  grave  in  his  manner,  but  still  perfectly  good- 
natured,  and  when  he  smiled  showing  a  most  handsome 
set  of  regular  teeth.  Clara  seemed  less  pleased  (I  thought) 
at  his  coining  than  the  others,  and  took  pleasure  in  tor- 
menting him  by  a  thousand  pettish  and  frivolous  ways, 
which  I  was  sorry  for,  as  I  thought  he  did  not  like  it,  and 
used  to  look  half  chidingly  at  her  from  time  to  time,  but 
without  any  effect,  for  she   just  went  on  as  before,  and 


128  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

generally  ended  by  taking  my  arm  and  saying :  "  Come 
away,  Harry.  You  always  are  kind,  and  never  look  sulky ; 
I  can  agree  with  you."  These  were  delightful  words  for 
me  to  listen  to ;  but  I  could  not  hear  them  without  feeling 
for  him,  who  evidently  was  pained  by  Clara's  avowed  pref- 
erence for  me,  and  whose  years  —  for  I  thought  thirty -five 
at  that  time  a  little  verging  upon  the  patriarchal  —  entitled 
him  to  more  respect. 

"Well,"  thought  I,  one  evening,  as  this  game  had  been 
carried  rather  farther  than  usual,  "  I  hope  she  is  content 
now,  for  certainly  Mortimer  is  jealous ;  "  and  the  result 
proved  it,  for  the  whole  of  the  following  day  he  absented 
himself,  and  never  came  back  till  late  in  the  evening.  He 
had  been,  I  found,  from  a  chance  observation  I  overheard, 
at  the  bishop's  palace,  and  the  bishop  himself,  I  learned, 
was  to  breakfast  with  us  in  the  morning. 

"Harry,  I  have  a  commission  for  you,"  said  Clara. 
"You  must  get  up  very  early  to-morrow,  and  climb  the 
Cader  mountain,  and  bring  me  a  grand  bouquet  of  the 
blue  and  purple  heath  that  I  liked  so  much  the  last  time  I 
was  there.  Mind,  very  early,  for  I  intend  to  surprise  the 
bishop  to-morrow  with  my  taste  in  a  nosegay." 

The  sun  had  scarcely  risen  as  I  sprang  from  my  bed  and 
started  upon  my  errand.  Oh,  the  glorious  beauty  of  that 
morning's  walk !  As  I  climbed  the  mountain,  the  deep 
mists  lay  upon  all  around,  and  except  the  path  I  was  tread- 
ing, nothing  was  visible ;  but  before  I  reached  the  top,  the 
heavy  masses  of  vapor  were  yielding  to  the  influence  of  the 
sun,  and  as  they  rolled  from  the  valleys  up  the  mountain 
sides,  were  every  instant  opening  new  glens  and  ravines 
beneath  me,  bright  in  all  their  verdure,  and  speckled  with 
sheep,  whose  tinkling  bells  reached  me  even  where  I  stood. 

I  counted  above  twenty  lakes,  at  different  levels  below 
me,  —  some  brilliant  and  shining  like  polished  mirrors ; 
others,  not  less  beautiful,  dark  and  solemn  with  some 
mighty  mountain  shadow.  As  I  looked  landward,  the 
mountains  reared  their  huge  crests,  one  above  the  other, 
to  the  farthest  any  eye  could  reach.     Towards  the  opposite 


EARLY   RECOLLECTIONS.  129 

side,  the  calm  and  tranquil  sea  lay  beneath  me,  bathed  in 
the  yellow  gold  of  a  rising  sun ;  a  few  ships  were  peace- 
ably lying  at  anchor  in  the  bay  ;  and  the  only  thing  in 
motion  was  a  row-boat,  the  heavy,  monotonous  stroke  of 
whose  oars  rose  in  the  stillness  of  the  morning  air.  Not 
a  single  habitation  of  man  could  I  descry,  nor  any  vestige 
of  a  human  being,  except  that  mass  of  something  upon  a 
rock  far  down  beneath  were  one,  and  I  think  it  must  have 
been,  for  I  saw  a  sheep-dog  ever  returning  again  and  again 
to  the  same  spot. 

My  bouquet  was  gathered,  the  gentian  of  the  Alps,  which 
is  found  here,  also  contributing  its  evidence  to  show  where 
I  had  been  to  seek  it,  and  I  turned  home. 

The  family  were  at  breakfast  as  I  entered,  —  at  least 
so  the  servants  said,  for  I  only  remembered  then  that  the 
bishop  was  our  guest,  and  that  I  could  not  present  myself 
without  some  slight  attention  to  my  dress.  I  hastened  to  my 
room,  and  scarcely  had  I  finished,  when  one  of  my  cousins, 
a  little  girl  of  eight  years,  came  to  the  door  and  said,  — 

"  Harry,  come  down ;  Clara  wants  you." 

I  rushed  downstairs,  and  as  I  entered  the  breakfast- 
parlor,  stood  still  with  surprise.  The  ladies  were  all 
dressed  in  white,  and  even  my  little  cousin  wore  a  gala 
costume  that  almost  amazed  me. 

"  My  bouquet,  Harry  !  I  hope  you  have  not  forgotten  it," 
said  Clara,  as  I  approached. 

I  presented  it  at  once,  when  she  gayly  and  coquettishly 
held  out  her  hand  for  me  to  kiss.  This  I  did,  my  blood 
rushing  to  my  face  and  temples  the  while,  and  almost 
depriving  me  of  consciousness. 

"Well,  Clara,  I  am  surprised  at  you,"  said  Mortimer. 
"  How  can  you  treat  the  poor  boy  so  ?  " 

I  grew  deadly  pale  at  these  words,  and  turning  round, 
looked  at  the  speaker  full  in  the  face.  "  Poor  fellow  ! " 
thought  I,  "  he  is  jealous,  and  I  am  really  grieved  for 
him ;  "  and  turned  again  to  Clara. 

"  Here  it  is  —  oh,  how  handsome,  papa !  "  said  one  of  the 
younger  children,  running  eagerly  to  the  window  as  a  very 

VOL.  II.  —  9 


130  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

pretty  open  carriage  with  four  horses  drew  up  before  the 
house. 

"  The  bishop  has  taste,"  I  murmured  to  myself,  scarcely 
deigning  to  give  a  second  look  at  the  equipage. 

Clara  now  left  the  room,  but  speedily  returned,  her  dress 
changed,  and  shawled  as  if  for  a  walk.  What  could  all  this 
mean  ?  And  the  whispering,  too,  what  is  all  that  ?  And 
why  are  they  all  so  sad  ?  Clara  has  been  weeping. 

"  God  bless  you,  my  child !  Good  by  !  "  said  my  aunt,  as 
she  folded  her  in  her  arms  for  the  third  time. 

"  Good  by,  good  by  !  "  I  heard  on  every  side.  At  length, 
approaching  me,  Clara  took  my  hand  and  said,  — 

"  My  poor  Harry,  so  we  are  going  to  part !  I  am  going 
to  Italy." 

"To  Italy,  Clara?  Oh,  no,  say  no!  Italy!  I  shall 
never  see  you  again  ! " 

"  Won't  you  wear  this  ring  for  me,  Harry  ?  It  is  an  old 
favorite  of  yours ;  and  when  we  meet  again  —  " 

"  Oh,  dearest  Clara  ! "  I  said,  "  do  not  speak  thus." 

"  Good  by,  my  poor  boy,  good  by  !  "  said  Clara,  hurriedly, 
and  rushing  out  of  the  room,  she  was  lifted  by  Mortimer 
into  the  carriage,  who  immediately  jumped  in  after  her. 
The  whip  cracked,  the  horses  clattered,  and  all  was  out  of 
sight  in  a  second. 

"Why  is  she  gone  with  him?"  said  I,  reproachfully, 
turning  towards  my  aunt. 

"  Why,  my  dear,  a  very  sufficient  reason.  She  was  mar- 
ried this   morning." 

This  was  my  first  love ! 


CHAPTER  XIII. 

WISE    RESOLVES. 

Musing  over  this  boyish  adventure,  I  fell  into  a  deep 
slumber,  and  on  awakening  it  took  me  some  minutes  before 
I  could  recall  my  senses  sufficiently  to  know  where  I  was. 
The  whole  face  of  things  in  my  room  was  completely 
changed.  Flowers  had  been  put  in  the  china  vases  upon 
the  tables ;  two  handsome  lamps,  shaded  with  gauzes, 
stood  upon  the  consoles ;  illustrated  books,  prints,  and 
caricatures  were  scattered  about.  A  pianoforte  had,  also, 
by  some  witchcraft,  insinuated  itself  into  a  recess  near  the 
sofa  ;  a  handsome  little  tea-service,  of  old  Dresden  china, 
graced  a  small  marqueterie  table  ;  and  a  little  piquet  table 
stood  most  invitingly  beside  the  fire.  I  had  scarcely  time 
to  turn  my  eyes  from  one  to  the  other  of  these  new  occu- 
pants when  I  heard  the  handle  of  my  door  gently  turn,  as 
if  by  some  cautious  hand,  and  immediately  closed  my  eyes 
and  feigned  sleep.  Through  my  half-shut  lids  I  perceived 
the  door  opened.  After  a  pause  of  about  a  second,  the 
skirt  of  a  white  muslin  dress  appeared  ;  then  a  pretty  foot 
stole  a  little  farther ;  and  at  last  the  slight  and  graceful 
figure  of  Emily  Bingham  advanced  noiselessly  into  the 
room.  Fear  had  rendered  her  deadly  pale  ;  but  the  effect 
of  her  rich  brown  hair,  braided  plainly  on  either  side  of 
her  cheek,  suited  so  well  the  character  of  her  features,  I 
thought  her  far  handsomer  than  ever.  She  came  forward 
towards  the  table,  and  I  now  could  perceive  that  she  had 
something  in  her  hand  resembling  a  letter.  This  she 
placed  near  my  hand,  —  so  near  as  almost  to  touch  it.  She 
leaned  over  me ;  I  felt  her  breath  upon  my  brow,  but  never 
moved.  At  this  instant  a  tress  of  her  hair,  becoming  un- 
fastened, fell  over  upon  my  face.     She  started;  the  motion 


132  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

threw  me  off  my  guard,  and  I  looked  up.  She  gave  a  faint, 
scarcely  audible  shriek,  and  shrank  into  the  chair  beside 
me.  Kecovering,  however,  upon  the  instant,  she  grasped 
the  letter  she  had  just  laid  down,  and  having  crushed  it 
between  her  fingers,  threw  it  into  the  fire.  This  done,  — 
as  if  the  effort  had  been  too  much  for  her  strength,  —  she 
again  fell  back  upon  her  seat,  and  looked  so  pale  I  almost 
thought  she  had  fainted. 

Before  I  had  time  to  speak  she  rose  once  more;  and  now 
her  face  was  bathed  in  blushes,  her  eyes  swam  with  rising 
tears,  and  her  lips  trembled  with  emotion  as  she  spoke. 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  what  will  you  —  what  can  you  think 
of  this  ?  If  you  but  knew  —  "  And  here  she  faltered  and 
again  grew  pale,  while  I,  with  difficulty  rising  from  the 
sofa,  took  her  hand  and  led  her  to  the  chair  beside  it. 

"  And  may  I  not  know,"  said  I,  "  may  I  not  know,  my 
dear"  —  I  am  not  sure  I  did  not  say  "dearest"  —  "Miss 
Bingham,  when  perhaps  the  knowledge  might  make  me  the 
happiest  of  mortals  ?  " 

This  was  a  pretty  plunge  as  a  sequel  to  my  late  resolu- 
tions. She  hid  her  face  between  her  hands  and  sobbed  for 
some  seconds. 

"At  least,"  said  I,  "as  that  letter  was  destined  for  me 
but  a  few  moments  since,  I  trust  that  you  will  let  me  hear 
its  contents." 

"  Oh,  no,  not  now  !  "  said  she,  entreatingly  ;  and  rising  at 
the  same  time,  she  turned  to  leave  the  room. 

1  still  held  her  hand,  and  pressed  it  within  mine.  I 
thought  she  returned  the  pressure.  I  leaned  forward  to 
catch  her  eye,  when  the  door  was  opened  hastiby,  and  a 
most  extraordinary  figure  presented  itself. 

It  was  a  short,  fat  man,  with  a  pair  of  enormous  mus- 
tachios  of  a  fiery  red,  huge  bushy  whiskers  of  the  same 
color,  a  blue  frock  covered  with  braiding  and  decorated  with 
several  crosses  and  ribbons,  tight  pantaloons,  and  Hessian 
boots  with  long  brass  spurs.  He  held  a  large  gold-headed 
cane  in  his  hand,  and  looked  about  with  an  expression  of 
very  equivocal  drollery,  mingled  with  fear. 


WISE   RESOLVES.  133 

"May  I  ask,  sir,"  said  I,  as  this  individual  closed 
the  door  behind  him,  "may  I  ask  the  reason  for  this 
intrusion  ?  " 

"  Oh,  upon  my  conscience,  I  '11  do,  I  'm  sure  to  pass 
muster  now,"  said  the  well-known  voice  of  Mr.  O'Leary, 
whose  pleasant  features  began  to  dilate  amid  the  forest  of 
red  hair  he  was  disguised  in.  "  But  I  see  you  are  engaged," 
said  he,  with  a  sly  look  at  Miss  Bingham,  whom  he  had 
not  yet  recognized ;  "  so  I  must  contrive  to  hide  myself 
elsewhere,  I  suppose." 

"  It  is  Miss  Bingham,"  said  I,  "  who  has  been  kind 
enough  to  come  here  with  her  maid  to  bring  me  some 
flowers.  Pray  present  my  compliments  to  Mrs.  Bingham, 
and  say  how  deeply  I  feel  her  kind  attention." 

Emily  rose  at  the  instant,  and  recovering  her  self-posses- 
sion at  once,  said,  — 

"  You  forget,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  it  is  a  secret  from  whom  the 
flowers  came,  —  at  least,  mamma  hoped  to  place  them  in 
your  vases  without  your  knowing.  So  pray  don't  speak  of 
it,  and  I'm  sure  Mr.  O'Leary  will  not  tell." 

If  Mr.  O'Leary  heard  one  word  of  this  artful  speech,  I 
know  not,  but  he  certainly  paid  no  attention  to  it  nor  the 
speaker,  who  left  the  room  without  his  appearing  aware 
of  it. 

"Now  that  she  is  gone,  —  for  which  Heaven  be  praised ! " 
said  I  to  myself,  — "  let  me  see  what  this  fellow  can 
mean." 

As  I  turned  from  the  door  I  could  scarcely  avoid  laughing 
aloud  at  the  figure  before  me.  He  stood  opposite  a  large 
mirror,  his  hat  on  one  side  of  his  head,  one  arm  in  his 
breast,  and  the  other  extended,  leaning  upon  his  stick  ;  a 
look  of  as  much  ferocity  as  such  features  could  accomplish 
had  been  assumed,  and  his  whole  attitude  was  a  kind  of 
caricature  of  a  melodramatic  hero  in  a  German  drama. 

"  Why,  O'Leary,  what  is  all  this  ?  " 

"  Hush,  hush  ! "  said  he,  in  a  terrified  whisper ;  "  never 
mention  that  name  again  till  we  are  over  the  frontier." 

"  But,  man,  explain,  —  what  do  you  mean  ?  " 


134  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Can't  you  guess  ?  "  said  he,  dryly. 

"  Impossible  ;  unless  the  affair  at  the  Salon  has  induced 
you  to  take  this  disguise,  I  cannot  conceive  the  reason." 

"  Nothing  further  from  it,  my  dear  friend,  —  much  worse 
than  that." 

"  Out  with  it,  then,  at  once." 

"  She  's  come  ;  she 's  here,  —  in  this  very  house,  No.  29, 
above  the  entresol." 

"  Who  is  here  in  No.  29,  above  the  entresol  ?  " 

"  Who  but  Mrs.  O'Leary  herself !  I  was  near  saying, 
'Bad  luck  to  her.'" 

"  And  does  she  know  you  are  here  ?  " 

"  That  is  what  I  can't  exactly  say,"  said  he ;  "  but  she  has 
had  the  Livre  des  Voyageurs  brought  up  to  her  room,  and 
has  been  making  rather  unpleasant  inquiries  for  the  pro- 
prietor of  certain  hieroglyphics  beginning  with  0  which  have 
given  me  great  alarm,  —  the  more  so  as  all  the  waiters  have 
been  sent  for  in  turn  and  subjected  to  long  examination  by 
her.  So  I  have  lost  no  time,  but  under  the  auspices  of  your 
friend  Trevanion,  have  become  the  fascinating  figure  you 
find  me,  and  am  now  Count  O'Linski,  a  Pole  of  noble  family, 
banished  by  the  Russian  Government,  with  a  father  in 
Siberia  and  all  that ;  and  I  hope,  by  the  end  of  the  week, 
to  be  able  to  cheat  at  ecarte  and  deceive  the  very  police 
itself." 

The  idea  of  O'Leary's  assuming  such  a  metamorphosis 
was  too  absurd  not  to  throw  me  into  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing, 
in  which  the  worthy  emigre  indulged  also. 

"  But  why  not  leave  this  at  once,"  said  I,  "  if  you  are  so 
much  in  dread  of  recognition  ?  " 

"  You  forget  the  trial,"  added  O'Leary.  "  I  must  be  here 
on  the  ISth,  or  all  my  bail  is  forfeited." 

"  True,  I  had  forgotten  that.     Well,  now,  your  plans." 

"  Simply  to  keep  very  quiet  here  till  the  affair  of  the 
tribunal  is  over,  and  then  quit  France  at  once.  Meanwhile, 
Trevanion  thinks  that  we  may,  by  a  bold  stratagem,  send 
Mrs.  O'Leary  off  on  a  wrong  scent,  and  has  requested  Mrs. 
Bingham  to  contrive  to  make  her  acquaintance  and  ask  her 


WISE  RESOLVES.  135 

to  tea  in  her  room,  when  she  will  see  me,  en  Polona  is,  at  a 
distance,  you  know,  —  hear  something  of  my  melancholy 
destiny  from  Trevanion,  —  and  leave  the  hotel  quite  sure 
she  has  no  claim  on  me.  Meanwhile,  some  others  of  the 
party  are  to  mention  incidentally  having  met  Mr.  O'Leary 
somewhere,  or  heard  of  his  decease,  or  any  pleasant  little 
incident  that  may  occur  to  them." 

"  The  plan  is  excellent,"  said  I ;  "  for  in  all  probability 
she  may  never  come  in  your  way  again,  if  sent  off  on  a  good 
errand  this  time. 

"  That 's  what  I  'm  thinking,"  said  O'Leary ;  "  and  I  am 
greatly  disposed  to  let  her  hear  that  I  'm  with  Belzoni  in 
Egypt,  with  an  engagement  to  spend  the  Christmas  with  the 
Dey  of  Algiers.  That  would  give  her  a  very  pretty  tour 
for  the  remainder  of  the  year,  and  show  her  the  Pyramids. 
But,  tell  me  fairly,  am  I  a  good  Pole  ?  " 

"  Rather  short,"  said  I,  "  and  a  little  too  fat,  perhaps." 

"  That  comes  from  the  dash  of  the  Tartar  blood,  —  noth- 
ing more.  And  my  mother  was  a  Fin,"  said  he,  —  "  she  '11 
never  ask  whether  from  the  Blackwater  or  the  Baltic. 
How  I  revel  in  the  thought  that  I  may  smoke  in  company 
without  a  breach  of  the  unities  !  But  I  must  go  ;  there  is  a 
gentleman  with  a  quinsy  in  No.  8,  that  gives  me  a  lesson  in 
Polish  this  morning.  So  good  by,  and  don't  forget  to  be 
well  enough  to-night,  for  you  must  be  present  at  my 
debut." 

O'Leary  had  scarcely  gone  when  my  thoughts  reverted  to 
Emily  Bingham.  I  was  not  such  a  coxcomb  as  to  fancy 
her  in  love  with  me,  yet  certainly  there  was  something  in 
the  affair  which  looked  not  unlike  it ;  and  though,  by  such 
a  circumstance,  every  embarrassment  which  pressed  upon 
me  had  become  infinitely  greater,  I  could  not  dissemble 
from  myself  a  sense  of  pleasure  at  the  thought.  She  was 
really  a  very  pretty  girl,  and  improved  vastly  upon  ac- 
quaintance. Les  absents  ont  toujours  tort  is  the  truest  prov- 
erb in  any  language,  and  I  felt  it,  in  its  fullest  force,  when 
Trevanion  entered  my  room. 

"  Well,  Lorrequer,"  said  he,  "  your  time  is  not  likely  to 


136  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

hang  heavily  on  your  hands  in  Paris  if  occupation  will 
prevent  it,  for  I  find  you  are  just  now  booked  for  a  new 
scrape." 

"  What  can  you  mean  ?  "  said  I,  starting  up. 

"Why,  O'Leary,  who  has  been,  since  your  illness,  a 
constant  visitor  at  the  Binghams,  —  dining  there  every  day 
and  spending  his  evenings,  —  has  just  told  me  that  the 
mamma  is  only  waiting  for  the  arrival  of  Sir  Guy  Lor- 
requer  in  Paris  to  open  the  trenches  in  all  form ;  and  from 
what  she  has  heard  of  Sir  Guy,  she  deems  it  most  likely  he 
will  give  her  every  aid  and  support  to  making  you  the 
husband  of  the  fair  Emily." 

"  And  with  good  reason  too,"  said  I ;  "  for  if  my  uncle 
were  only  given  to  understand  that  I  had  once  gone  far  in 
my  attentions,  nothing  would  induce  him  to  break  off  the 
match.  He  was  crossed  in  love  himself  when  young,  and 
has  made  a  score  of  people  miserable  since,  in  the  benevo- 
lent idea  of  marrying  them  against  every  obstacle." 

"  How  very  smart  you  have  become  ! "  said  Trevanion, 
taking  a  look  round  my  room,  and  surveying  in  turn  each 
of  the  new  occupants.  "  You  must  certainly  reckon  upon 
seeing  your  fair  friend  here,  or  all  this  elegance  is  sadly 
wasted." 

This  was  the  time  to  explain  all  about  Miss  Bing- 
ham's visit ;  and  I  did  so,  —  of  course  omitting  any  details 
which  might  seem  to  me  needless,  or  involving  myself  in 
inconsistency. 

Trevanion  listened  patiently  to  the  end;  was  silent 
for  some  moments ;    then  added,  — 

"  And  you  never  saw  the  letter  ?  " 

"  Of  course  not.     It  was  burned  before  my  eyes." 

"I  think  the  affair  looks  very  serious,  Lorrequer.  You 
may  have  won  this  girl's  affections.  It  matters  little 
whether  the  mamma  be  a  hackneyed  match-maker,  or 
the  cousin  a  bullying  duellist.  If  the  girl  have  a  heart, 
and  you  have  gained  it  —  " 

"  Then  I  must  marry,  you  would  say." 

"  Exactly  so,  —  without  the  prompting  of  your  worthy 


WISE   KESOLVES.  137 

uncle ;  I  see  no  other  course  open  to  you  without  dishonor. 
My  advice,  therefore,  is,  ascertain  —  and  that  speedily 
—  how  far  your  attentions  have  been  attended  with  the 
success  you  dread,  and  then  decide  at  once.  Are  you  able 
to  get  as  far  as  Mrs.  Bingham's  room  this  morning  ?  If  so, 
come  along.  I  will  take  all  the  frais  of  la  chere  maman 
off  your  hands  while  you  talk  to  the  daughter,  and  half  an 
hour's  courage  and  resolution  will  do  it  all." 

Having  made  the  most  effective  toilet  my  means  would 
permit,  my  right  arm  in  a  sling  and  my  step  trembling 
from  weakness,  I  sallied  forth  with  Trevanion  to  make 
love  with  as  many  fears  for  the  result  as  the  most  bashful 
admirer  ever  experienced  when  pressing  his  suit  upon  some 
haughty  belle,  —  but  for  a  far  different  reason. 


CHAPTER   XIV. 

THE    PROPOSAL. 

On  reaching  Mrs.  Bingham's  apartment  we  found  that 
she  had  just  left  home  to  wait  upon  Mrs.  O'Leary,  and  con- 
sequently that  Miss  Bingham  was  alone.  Trevanion,  there- 
fore, having  wished  me  a  safe  deliverance  through  my 
trying  mission,  shook  my  hand  warmly  and  departed. 

I  stood  for  some  moments  irresolutely,  with  my  hand 
upon  the  lock  of  the  door.  To  think  that  the  next  few 
minutes  may  decide  the  fortune  of  one's  after-life  is  a 
sufficiently  anxious  thought;  but  that  your  fate  may  be  so 
decided,  by  compelling  you  to  finish  in  sorrow  what  you 
have  begun  in  folly,  is  still  more  insupportable.  Such, 
then,  was  my  condition.  I  had  resolved  within  myself,  if 
the  result  of  this  meeting  should  prove  that  I  had  won  Miss 
Bingham's  affections,  to  propose  for  her  at  once  in  all  form 
and  make  her  my  wife.  If,  on  the  other  hand,  I  only 
found  that  she  too  had  amused  herself  with  a  little  passing 
flirtation,  why  then,  I  was  a  free  man  once  more ;  but  on 
catechising  myself  a  little  closer,  I  discovered  that  I  was 
not  indisposed  to  make  love  de  novo. 

With  the  speed  of  lightning  my  mind  ran  over  every 
passage  of  our  acquaintance,  — our  first  meeting;  our  soli- 
tary walks  ;  our  daily,  hourly  associations ;  our  travelling 
intimacy ;  the  adventure  at  Chantraine.  There  was,  it  is 
true,  nothing  in  all  this  which  could  establish  the  fact  of 
wooing,  but  everything  which  should  convince  an  old  of- 
fender like  myself  that  the  young  lady  was  en  prise,  and 
that  I  myself  —  despite  my  really  strong  attachment  else- 
where —  was  not  entirely  scathless. 

"Yes,"  said  I,  half  aloud,  as  I  once  more  reviewed  the 
past,  "  it  is  but  another  chapter  in  my  history  in  keeping 


THE   PROPOSAL.  139 

with  all  the  rest,  —  one  step  has  ever  led  me  to  a  second, 
and  so  on  to  a  third  ;  what  with  other  men  have  passed  for 
mere  trifles,  have  ever  with  me  become  serious  difficulties, 
and  the  false  enthusiasm  with  which  I  ever  follow  any 
object  in  life  blinds  me  for  the  time,  and  mistaking  zeal  for 
inclination,  I  never  feel  how  little  my  heart  is  interested  in 
success  till  the  fever  of  pursuit  is  over." 

These  were  pleasant  thoughts  for  one  about  to  throw 
himself  at  a  pretty  girl's  feet  and  pour  out  his  "soul  of 
love  before  her  ; "  but  that  with  me  was  the  least  part  of  it. 
Currari,  they  say,  usually  picked  up  his  facts  in  a  case  from 
the  opposite  counsel's  statements.  I  always  relied  for  my 
conduct  in  carrying  on  anything  to  the  chance  circumstances 
of  the  moment,  and  trusted  to  my  animal  spirits  to  give  me 
an  interest  in  whatever,  for  the  time  being,  engaged  me. 

I  opened  the  door.  Miss  Bingham  was  sitting  at  a  table, 
her  head  leaning  upon  her  hands,  some  open  letters  which 
lay  before  her  evidently  so  occupying  her  attention  that  my 
approach  was  unheard.  On  my  addressing  her,  she  turned 
round  suddenly,  and  became  at  first  deep  scarlet,  then  pale 
as  death ;  while,  turning  to  the  table,  she  hurriedly  threw 
her  letters  into  a  drawer,  and  motioned  me  to  a  place 
beside  her. 

After  the  first  brief  and  commonplace  inquiry  for  my 
health,  and  hopes  for  my  speedy  recovery,  she  became 
silent ;  and  I,  too,  primed  with  topics  innumerable  to  dis- 
cuss, knowing  how  short  my  time  might  prove  before  Mrs. 
Bingham's  return,  could  not  say  a  word. 

"  I  hope,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  she  at  length,  "  that  you 
have  incurred  no  risk  by  leaving  your  room  so  early." 

"  I  have  not,"  I  replied  ;  "but  even  were  there  a  certainty 
of  it,  the  anxiety  I  labored  under  to  see  and  speak  with  you 
alone,  would  have  overcome  all  fears  on  that  account. 
Since  this  unfortunate  business  has  confined  me  to  my 
chamber,  I  have  done  nothing  but  think  over  circumstances 
which  have  at  length  so  entirely  taken  possession  of  me 
that  I  must,  at  any  sacrifice,  have  sought  an  opportunity  to 
explain  to  you  —  "     Here  Emily  looked  down,  and  I  coa- 


140  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

tinued:  "I  need  scarcely  say,  what  my  feelings  must  long 
since  have  betrayed,  that  to  have  enjoyed  the  daily  happi- 
ness of  living  in  your  society,  of  estimating  your  worth,  of 
feeling  your  fascinations,  were  not  the  means  most  in 
request  for  him  who  knew,  too  well,  how  little  he  deserved, 
either  by  fortune  or  desert,  to  hope  to  make  j^ou  his;  and 
yet,  how  little  has  prudence  or  caution  to  do  with  situations 
like  this."  She  did  not  guess  the  animus  of  this  speech. 
"I  felt  all  I  have  described;  and  yet,  and  yet  I  lingered 
on,  prizing  too  dearly  the  happiness  of  the  present  hour  to 
risk  it  by  any  avowal  of  sentiments  which  might  have 
banished  me  from  your  presence  forever.  If  the  alternation 
of  these  hopes  and  fears  has  proved  too  strong  for  my 
reason  at  last,  I  cannot  help  it ;  and  this  it  is  which  now 
leads  me  to  make  this  avowal  to  you." 

Emily  turned  her  head  away  from  me,  but  her  agitated 
manner  showed  how  deeply  my  words  had  affected  her; 
and  I  too,  now  that  I  had  finished,  felt  that  I  had  been 
"coming  it  rather  strong,"  though  perhaps  not  very 
intelligibly. 

"  I  had  hoped,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  she,  at  length,  —  "I 
had  hoped,  I  confess,  to  have  had  an  opportunity  of  speak- 
ing with  you."  Then,  thought  I,  the  game  is  over,  and 
Bishop  Luseombe  is  richer  by  ten  pounds  than  I  wish  him. 
"  Something,  I  know  not  what,  in  your  manner  led  me  to 
suspect  that  your  affections  might  lean  towards  me ;  hints 
you  have  dropped,  and,  now  and  then,  your  chance  allu- 
sions, strengthened  the  belief,  and  I  determined  at  length 
that  no  feeling  of  maidenly  shame  on  my  part  should  en- 
danger the  happiness  of  either  of  us,  and  I  resolved  to  see 
you.  This  was  so  difficult  that  I  wrote  a  letter,  and  that 
letter,  which  might  have  saved  me  all  distressing  explana- 
tion, I  burned  before  you  this  morning." 

"  But  why,  dearest  girl,"  —  here  was  a  plunge  —  "  why, 
if  the  letter  could  remove  any  misconstruction,  or  could  be 
the  means  of  dispelling  any  doubt,  why  not  have  let  me 
see  it  ?  " 

"  Hear  me  out/'   cried  she  eagerly,   and  evidently  not 


THE  PROPOSAL.  141 

heeding  my  interruption  ;  "  I  determined,  if  your  affections 
were  indeed  — "  A  flood  of  tears  here  broke  forth  and 
drowned  her  words  ;  her  head  sank  between  her  hands,  and 
she  sobbed  bitterly. 

"  Corpo  di  Baccho  !  "  said  I  to  myself,  "  it  is  all  over  with 
me  ;  the  poor  girl  is  evidently  jealous,  and  her  heart  will 
break." 

"Dearest,  dearest  Emily,"  said  I,  passing  my  arm  round 
her,  and  approaching  my  head  close  to  hers,  "  if  you  think 
that  any  other  love  than  yours  could  ever  beat  within  this 
heart ;  that  I  could  see  you  hourly  before  me,  live  beneath 
your  smile,  and  gaze  upon  your  beauty,  and,  still  more  than 
all,  ■ — -  pardon  the  boldness  of  the  thought,  —  feel  that  I  was 
not  indifferent  to  you  —  " 

"  Oh  !  spare  me  this  at  least,"  said  she,  turning  round 
her  tearful  eyes  upon  me,  and  looking  most  bewitchingly 
beautiful.     "  Have  I  then  shown  you  this  plainly  ?  " 

"  Yes,  dearest  girl  !  That  instinct  which  tells  us  we  are 
loved  has  spoken  within  me.  And  here  in  this  beating 
heart  —  " 

"  Oh  !  say  no  more,"  said  she ;  "  if  I  have  indeed  gained 
your  affections  —  " 

"If — if  you  have,"  said  I,  clasping  her  to  my  heart, 
while  she  continued  to  sob  still  violently,  and  I  felt  half 
disposed  to  blow  my  brains  out  for  my  success.  However, 
there  is  something  in  love-making,  as  in  fox-hunting, 
which  carries  you  along  in  spite  of  yourself ;  and  I  con- 
tinued to  pour  forth  whole  rhapsodies  of  love  that  the 
Pastor  Fido  could  not  equal. 

"  Enough,"  said  she  ;  "  it  is  enough  that  you  love  me  and 
that  I  have  encouraged  your  so  doing.  But,  oh  !  tell  me 
once  more,  and  think  how  much  of  future  happiness  may 
rest  upon  your  answer,  —  tell  me,  may  not  this  be  some 
passing  attachment,  which  circumstances  have  created  and 
others  may  dispel  ?  Say,  might  not  absence,  time,  or 
another  more  worthy  —  " 

This  was  certainly  a  very  rigid  cross-examination  when  I 
thought  the  trial  was  over ;  and  not  being  exactly  prepared 


142  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

for  it,  I  felt  no  other  mode  of  reply  than  pressing  her  taper 
lingers  alternately  to  my  lips,  and  muttering  something  that 
might  pass  for  a  declaration  of  love  unalterable,  but,  to  my 
own  ears,  resembled  a  lament  on  my  folly. 

"  She  is  mine  now,"  thought  I,  "  so  we  must  e'en  make  the 
best  of  it ;  and  truly  she  is  a  very  handsome  girl,  though 
not  a  Lady  Jane  Callonby.  The  next  step  is  the  mamma ; 
but  I  do  not  anticipate  much  difficulty  in  that  quarter." 

"  Leave  me  now,"  said  she,  in  a  low  and  broken  voice, 
"  but  promise  not  to  speak  of  this  meeting  to  any  one  be- 
fore we  meet  again.  I  have  my  reasons,  —  believe  me,  they 
are  sufficient  ones  ;  so  promise  me  this  before  we  part." 

Having  readily  given  the  pledge  required,  I  again  kissed 
her  hand  and  bade  farewell,  not  a  little  puzzled  the  whole 
time  at  perceiving  that  ever  since  my  declaration  and 
acceptance  Emily  seemed  anything  but  happy,  and  evidently 
struggling  against  some  secret  feeling,  of  which  I  knew 
nothing.  "  Yes,"  thought  T,  as  I  wended  my  way  along  the 
corridor,  "  the  poor  little  girl  is  tremendously  jealous,  and  I 
must  have  said  many  a  thing  during  our  intimacy  to  hurt 
her.  However,  that  is  all  past  and  gone ;  and  now  comes 
a  new  character  for  me  :  my  next  appearance  will  be  in 
the  part  of  the  '  happy  husband.' " 


CHAPTER  XV. 

THOUGHTS     UPON    MATRIMONY    IN     GENERAL,    AND    IN    THE 

ARMY    IN    PARTICULAR.  THE    KNIGHT    OF    KERRY    AND 

BILLY    M'CABE. 

"  So,"  thought  I,  as  I  closed  the  door  of  my  room  behind 
me,  "  I  am  accepted ;  the  die  is  cast  which  makes  me  a  Ben- 
edict. Yet  Heaven  knows  that  never  was  a  man  less  dis- 
posed to  be  over-joyous  at  his  good  fortune ! "  What  a 
happy  invention  it  were  if,  when  adopting  any  road  in  life, 
we  could  only  manage  to  forget  that  we  had  ever  contem- 
plated any  other !  It  is  the  eternal  looking  back  in  this 
world  that  forms  the  staple  of  all  our  misery ;  and  we  are 
but  ill-requited  for  such  unhappiness  by  the  brightest  antici- 
pations we  can  conjure  up  for  the  future.  How  much  of  all 
that  "  past "  was  now  to  become  a  source  of  painful  recol- 
lection, and  to  how  little  of  the  future  could  I  look  forward 
with  even  hope ! 

Our  weaknesses  are  much  more  constantly  the  spring  of 
all  our  annoyances  and  troubles  than  even  our  vices.  The 
one  we  hold  in  some  sort  of  subjection ;  we  are  perfectly 
slaves  to  the  others.  This  thought  came  home  most  forci- 
bly to  my  bosom  as  I  reflected  upon  the  step  which  led  me 
on  imperceptibly  to  my  present  embarrassment.  "  Well, 
c'estjlni,  now,"  said  I,  drawing  upon  that  bountiful  source 
of  consolation  ever  open  to  the  man  who  mars  his  fortune, 
—  that  "what  is  past  can't  be  amended;"  which  piece  of 
philosophy,  as  well  as  its  twin  brother,  that  "  all  will  be 
the  same  a  hundred  years  hence,"  have  been  golden  rules 
to  me  from  my  childhood. 

The  transition  from  one  mode  of  life  to  another  perfectly 
different  has  ever  seemed  to  me  a  great  trial  of  a  man's 


144  HARRY  LOREEQUER. 

moral  courage,  besides  that  the  fact  of  quitting  forever  any- 
thing, no  matter  how  insignificant  or  valueless,  is  always 
attended  with  painful  misgivings.  My  bachelor  life  had 
its  share  of  annoyances  and  disappointments,  it  is  true,  but 
upon  the  whole  it  was  a  most  happy  one ;  and  now  I  was 
about  to  surrender  it  forever,  not  yielding  to  the  impulse 
of  affection  and  love  for  one  without  whom  life  were  value- 
less to  me,  but  merely  a  recompense  for  the  indulgence 
of  that  fatal  habit  I  had  contracted  of  pursuing  with 
eagerness  every  shadow  that  crossed  my  path.  All  my 
early  friends,  all  my  vagrant  fancies,  all  my  day-dreams 
of  the  future,  I  was  now  to  surrender ;  for  what  becomes 
of  any  man's  bachelor  friends  when  he  is  once  married  ? 
Where  are  his  rambles  in  high  and  by  ways  when  he  has  a 
wife  ?  And  what  is  left  for  anticipation  after  his  wedding, 
except,  perhaps,  to  speculate  upon  the  arrangement  of  his 
funeral  ?  To  a  military  man  more  than  to  any  other  these 
are  serious  thoughts.  All  the  fascinations  of  an  army  life, 
in  war  or  peace,  lie  in  the  daily,  hourly  associations  with 
your  brother  officers, — the  morning  cigar,  the  barrack- 
square  lounge,  the  afternoon  ride,  the  game  of  billiards 
before  dinner,  the  mess  (that  perfection  of  dinner  society), 
the  plans  for  the  evening,  the  devilled  kidney  at  twelve,  — 
forming  so  many  points  of  departure  whence  you  sail  out 
upon  your  daily  voyage  through  life.  Versus  these  you 
have  that  awful  perversion  of  all  that  is  natural,  —  an 
officer's  wife.  She  has  been  a  beauty  when  young,  had 
black  eyes  and  high  complexion,  a  good  figure,  rather  in- 
clined to  embonpoint,  and  a  certain  springiness  in  her  walk 
and  a  jauntiness  in  her  air  that  are  ever  sure  attractions  to 
a  sub  in  a  marching  regiment.  She  can  play  backgammon 
and  sing  "  Di  tanti  palpiti"  and,  if  an  Irishwoman,  is  certain 
to  be  able  to  ride  a  steeple-chase,  and  has  an  uncle  a  lord, 
who  (en  parenthese)  always  turns  out  to  be  a  creation  made 
by  King  James  after  his  abdication.  In  conclusion,  she 
breakfasts  en  papillotes,  wears  her  shoes  down  at  heel,  calls 
every  officer  of  the  regiment  by  his  name,  has  a  great  taste 
for  increasing  his  Majesty's  lieges,  and  delights  in  Loudon 


THOUGHTS  UPON  MATRIMONY  IN  GENERAL.       145 

porter.  To  this  genus  of  "  vrow  "  I  have  never  ceased  to 
entertain  the  most  thrilling  abhorrence,  —  and  yet  how 
often  have  I  seen  what  appeared  to  be  pretty  and  interest- 
ing girls  fall  into  something  of  this  sort ;  and  how  often 
have  I  vowed  any  fate  to  myself  rather  than  become  the 
husband  of  a  baggage-wagon  wife ! 

Had  all  my  most  sanguine  hopes  promised  realizing,  had 
my  suit  with  Lady  Jane  been  favorable,  I  could  scarcely 
have  bade  adieu  to  my  bachelor  life  without  a  sigh.  No 
prospect  of  future  happiness  can  ever  perfectly  exclude  all 
regret  at  quitting  our  present  state  forever.  I  am  sure  if  I 
had  been  a  caterpillar,  it  would  have  been  with  a  heavy 
heart  that  I  should  have  donned  my  wings  as  a  butterfly  ; 
now  the  metamorphosis  was  reversed.  Need  it  be  won- 
dered if  I  were  sad  ? 

So  completely  was  I  absorbed  in  my  thoughts  upon  this 
matter  that  I  had  not  perceived  the  entrance  of  O'Leary 
and  Trevanion,  who,  unaware  of  my  being  in  the  apartment, 
as  I  was  stretched  upon  a  sofa  in  a  dark  corner,  drew  their 
chairs  towards  the  fire  and  began  chatting. 

"  Do  you  know,  Mr.  Trevanion,"  said  O'Leary,  "  I  am 
half  afraid  of  this  disguise  of  mine.  I  sometimes  think  I 
am  not  like  a  Pole ;  and  if  she  should  discover  me  —  " 

"  No  fear  of  that  in  the  world  ;  your  costume  is  perfect, 
your  beard  unexceptionable.  I  could,  perhaps,  have  de- 
sired a  little  less  paunch ;  but  then  —  " 

"  That  conies  of  fretting,  as  Falstaff  says ;  and  you  must 
not  forget  that  I  am  banished  from  my  country." 

"  Now,  as  to  your  conversation,  I  should  advise  you  say- 
ing very  little, — not  one  word  of  English.  You  may,  if 
you  like,  call  in  the  assistance  of  Irish  when  hard  pressed." 

"  I  have  my  fears  on  that  score.  There  is  no  knowing 
where  that  might  lead  to,  — perhaps  discovery.  You  know 
the  story  of  the  Knight  of  Kerry  and  Billy  M'Cabe  ?  " 

"  I  fear  I  must  confess  my  ignorance  ;  I  have  never  heard 
of  it." 

"  Then  maybe  you  never  knew  Giles  Dackson  ?  " 

"  I  have  not  that  pleasure  either." 

VOL.  II.  — 10 


146  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Lord  bless  me,  how  strange  that  is  !  I  thought  he  was 
better  known  than  the  Duke  of  Wellington  or  the  travelling 
piper.  Well,  I  must  tell  you  the  story,  for  it  has  a  moral 
too,  —  indeed,  several  morals  ;  but  you  '11  find  that  out  for 
yourself.  Well,  it  seems  that  one  day  the  Knight  of  Kerry 
was  walking  along  the  Strand  in  London,  killing  an  hour's 
time  till  the  House  was  done  prayers  and  Hume  tired  of 
hearing  himself  speaking  ;  his  eye  was  caught  by  an  enor- 
mous picture  displayed  upon  the  wall  of  a  house,  represent- 
ing a  human  figure  covered  with  long,  dark  hair,  with  huge 
nails  upon  his  hands,  and  a  most  fearful  expression  of  face. 
At  first  the  Knight  thought  it  was  Dr.  Bowring ;  but  on 
coming  nearer  he  heard  a  man  with  a  scarlet  livery  and  a 
cocked  hat  call  out,  '  Walk  in,  ladies  and  gentlemen  !  The 
most  vonderf  ul  curiosity  ever  exhibited  —  only  one  shilling 
—  the  vild  man  from  Chippoowango,  in  Africay  —  eats  raw 
wittles  without  being  cooked,  and  many  other  surprising 
and  pleasing  performances.' 

"The  Knight  paid  his  money  and  was  admitted.  At 
first  the  crowd  prevented  his  seeing  anything,  for  the  place 
was  full  to  suffocation,  and  the  noise  awful ;  for,  besides 
the  exclamations  and  applause  of  the  audience,  there  were 
three  barrel-organs  playing  '  Home  sweet  Home ! '  and 
'  Cherry  Eipe  ! '  and  the  wild  man  himself  contributed  his 
share  to  the  nproar.  At  last  the  Knight  obtained,  by  dint 
of  squeezing  and  some  pushing,  a  place  in  the  front,  when, 
to  his  very  great  horror,  he  beheld  a  figure  that  far  eclipsed 
the  portrait  without  doors. 

"  It  was  a  man  nearly  naked,  covered  with  long,  shaggy 
hair  that  grew  even  over  his  nose  and  cheek-bones.  He 
sprang  about,  sometimes  on  his  feet,  sometimes  all-fours, 
but  always  uttering  the  most  fearful  yells,  and  glaring  upon 
the  crowd  in  a  manner  that  was  really  dangerous.  The 
Knight  did  not  feel  exactly  happy  at  the  whole  proceeding, 
and  began  heartily  to  wish  himself  back  in  the  House, 
even  upon  a  committee  of  privileges,  when  suddenly  the 
savage  gave  a  more  frantic  scream  than  before,  and  seized 
upon  a  morsel  of  raw  beef  which  a  keeper  extended  to  him 


THOUGHTS  UPON  MATRIMONY  IN  GENERAL.         147 

upon  a  long  fork  like  a  tandem  whip,  —  he  was  not  safe,  it 
appears,  at  close  quarters.  This  he  tore  to  pieces  eagerly, 
and  devoured  in  the  most  voracious  manner,  amid  great 
clapping  of  hands  and  other  evidences  of  satisfaction  from 
the  audience.  '  I  '11  go  now,'  thought  the  Knight,  '  for  God 
knows  whether,  in  his  hungry  moods,  he  might  not  fancy 
to  conclude  his  dinner  by  a  member  of  Parliament.'  Just 
at  this  instant  some  sounds  struck  upon  his  ear  that  sur- 
prised him  not  a  little.  He  listened  more  attentively,  and 
conceive,  if  you  can,  his  amazement  to  rind  that  amid  his 
most  fearful  cries  and  wild  yells  the  savage  was  talking 
Irish.  Laugh  if  you  like,  but  it 's  truth  I  am  telling  you, 
—  nothing  less  than  Irish.  There  he  was,  jumping  four 
feet  high  in  the  air,  eating  his  raw  meat,  pulling  out  his 
hair  by  handfuls,  and,  amid  all  this,  cursing  the  whole  com- 
pany to  his  heart's  content  in  as  good  Irish  as  ever  was 
heard  in  Tralee.  Now,  though  the  Knight  had  heard  of 
red  Jews  and  white  negroes,  he  had  never  happened  to 
read  any  account  of  an  African  Irishman ;  so  he  listened 
very  closely,  and  by  degrees  not  only  the  words  were  known 
to  him,  but  the  very  voice  was  familiar.  At  length  some- 
thing he  heard  left  no  further  doubt  upon  his  mind,  and 
turning  to  the  savage,  he  addressed  him  in  Irish,  at  the 
same  time  fixing  a  look  of  most  scrutinizing  import  upon 
him. 

"  '  Who  are  you,  you  scoundrel  ?  '  said  the  Knight. 

"  <  Billy  M'Cabe,  your  honor.' 

"  '  And  what  do  you  mean  by  playing  off  these  tricks 
here,  instead  of  earning  your  bread  like  an  honest  man  ?  " 

" '  Whisht ! '  said  Billy, '  and  keep  the  secret.  I  'm  earn- 
ing the  rent  for  your  honor.  One  must  do  many  a  queer 
thing  that  pays  two  pound  ten  an  acre  for  bad  land.' 

"  This  was  enough  ;  the  Knight  wished  Billy  every  suc- 
cess, and  left  him  amid  the  vociferous  applause  of  a  well- 
satisfied  audience.  This  adventure,  it  seems,  has  made  the 
worthy  Knight  a  great  friend  to  the  introduction  of  poor- 
laws  ;  for  he  remarks,  very  truly,  more  of  Billy's  country- 


148  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

men  might  take  a  fancy  to  a  savage  life  if  the  secret  was 
found  out." 

It  was  impossible  for  me  to  preserve  my  incognito  as  Mr. 
O'Leary  concluded  his  story,  and  I  was  obliged  to  join  in 
the  mirth  of  Trevanion,  who  laughed  loud  and  long  as  he 
finished  it. 


CHAPTER  XVI. 

A    REMINISCENCE. 

O'Leary  and  Trevanion  had  scarcely  left  the  room  when 
the  waiter  entered  with  two  letters,  —  the  one  bore  a  Ger- 
man post-mark  and  was  in  the  well-known  hand  of  Lady 
Callonby ;  the  other  in  a  writing  with  which  I  was  no  less 
familiar,  that  of  Emily  Bingham. 

Let  any  one  who  has  been  patient  enough  to  follow  me 
through  these  "  Confessions,"  conceive  my  agitation  at  this 
moment.  There  lay  my  fate  before  me,  coupled,  in  all  like- 
lihood, with  a  view  of  what  it  might  have  been  under 
happier  auspices,  —  at  least  so  in  anticipation  did  I  read  the 
two  unopened  epistles.  My  late  interview  with  Miss  Bing- 
ham left  no  doubt  upon  my  mind  that  I  had  secured  her 
affections  ;  and  acting  in  accordance  with  the  counsel  of 
Trevanion,  no  less  than  my  own  sense  of  right,  I  resolved 
upon  marrying  her,  —  with  what  prospect  of  happiness  I 
dared  not  to  think. 

Alas  and  alas  !  there  is  no  infatuation  like  the  taste  for 
flirtation,  —  mere  empty,  valueless,  heartless  flirtation.  You 
hide  the  dice-box  and  the  billiard-cue,  lest  your  son  become 
a  gambler;  you  put  aside  the  Racing  Calendar,  lest  he 
imbibe  a  jockey  predilection,  —  but  you  never  tremble  at 
his  fondness  for  white  muslin  and  a  satin  slipper,  far  more 
dangerous  tastes  though  they  be,  and  infinitely  more  peril- 
ous to  a  man's  peace  and  prosperity  than  all  the  "queens  of 
trumps  "  that  ever  figured,  whether  on  pasteboard  or  the 
Doncaster !  "  Woman 's  my  wakenesss,  yer  honor,"  said 
an  honest  Patlander  on  being  charged  before  the  lord  mayor 
with  having  four  wives  living;  and  without  having  any 
such  "  Algerine  act "  upon  my  conscience,  I  must,  I  fear, 


150  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

enter  a  somewhat  similar  plea  for  my  downfallings,  and 
avow  in  humble  gratitude  that  I  have  scarcely  had  a  mis- 
fortune through  life  unattributable  to  them  in  one  way  or 
another.  And  this  I  say  without  any  reference  to  country, 
class,  or  complexion,  "  black,  brown,  or  fair ; "  from  my 
first  step  forth  into  life,  a  raw  sub  in  the  gallant  4 —  th,  to 
this  same  hour,  I  have  no  other  avowal,  no  other  confession 
to  make.  "  Be  always  ready  with  the  pistol,"  was  the  dying 
advice  of  an  Irish  statesman  to  his  sons  ;  mine,  in  a  similar 
circumstance,  would  rather  be  "  Gardez-vous  des  femmes" 
and  more  especially  if  they  be  Irish. 

There  is  something  almost  treacherous  in  the  facility 
with  which  an  Irish  girl  receives  your  early  attentions,  and 
appears  to  like  them,  that  invariably  turns  a  young  fellow's 
head  very  long  before  he  has  any  prospect  of  touching  her 
heart.  She  thinks  it  so  natural  to  be  made  love  to  that 
there  is  neither  any  affected  coyness  nor  any  agitated  sur- 
prise. She  listens  to  your  declaration  of  love  as  quietly 
as  the  chief  justice  would  to  one  of  law,  and  refers  the 
decision  to  a  packed  jury  of  her  relatives,  who  rarely  recom- 
mend you  to  mercy.  Love  and  fighting,  too,  are  so  inti- 
mately united  in  Ireland  that  a  courtship  rarely  progresses 
without  at  least  one  exchange  of  shots  between  some  of  the 
parties  concerned.  My  first  twenty-four  hours  in  Dublin 
is  so  pleasantly  characteristic  of  this  that  I  may  as  well 
relate  it  here  while  the  subject  is  before  us  ;  besides,  as 
these  "  Confessions  "  are  intended  as  warnings  and  guides 
to  youth,  I  may  convey  a  useful  lesson,  showing  why  a  man 
should  not  "make  love  in  the  dark." 

It  was  upon  a  raw,  cold,  drizzling  morning  in  February, 
18  — ,  that  our  regiment  landed  on  the  North-wall  from 
Liverpool,  whence  we  had  been  hurriedly  ordered  to  repress 
some  riots  and  disturbances  then  agitating  Dublin. 

We  marched  to  the  Royal  Barracks,  our  band  playing 
"  Patrick's  Day,"  to  the  very  considerable  admiration  of  as 
naked  a  population  as  ever  loved  music.  The  —  th  Dra- 
goons were  at  the  same  time  quartered  there,  —  right 
pleasant,  jovial  fellows,  who  soon  gave  us  to  understand 


A  REMINISCENCE.  151 

that  the  troubles  were  over  before  we  arrived,  and  that  the 
great  city  authorities  were  now  returning  thanks  for  their 
preservation  from  fire  and  sword  by  a  series  of  entertain- 
ments of  the  most  costly,  but  somewhat  incongruous,  kind ; 
the  company  being  scarce  less  mixed  than  the  dishes. 
Peers  and  play-actors,  judges  and  jailers,  archbishops,  tailors, 
attorneys,  rope-makers,  and  apothecaries,  all  uniting  in  the 
festive  delight  of  good  feeding  and  drinking  the  "  glorious 
memory,"  —  but  of  whom,  half  the  company  knew  not,  only 
surmising  "  it  was  something  agin  the  Papists."  You  may 
smile,  but  these  were  pleasant  times,  and  I  scarcely  care  to 
go  back  there  since  they  were  changed.  But  to  return. 
The — th  had  just  received  an  invitation  to  a  ball  to  be 
given  by  the  high  sheriff,  and  to  which  they  most  consider- 
ately said  we  should  also  be  invited.  This  negotiation  was 
so  well  managed  that  before  noon  we  all  received  our  cards 
from  a  green-liveried  youth  mounted  upon  a  very  emaciated 
pony,  —  the  whole  turn-out  not  auguring  flatteringly  of  the 
high  sheriff's  taste  in  equipage. 

We  dined  with  the  —  th,  and,  as  customary  before  going 
to  an  evening  party,  took  the  "  other  bottle  "  of  claret  that 
lies  beyond  the  frontier  of  prudence.  In  fact,  from  the 
lieutenant-colonel  down  to  the  newly-joined  ensign,  there 
was  not  a  face  in  the  party  that  did  not  betray  "  signs  of 
the  times  "  that  promised  most  favorably  for  the  mirth  of  the 
sheriff's  ball.  We  were  so  perfectly  up  to  the  mark  that 
our  major,  a  Conhemara  man,  said,  as  we  left  the  mess-room, 
"  a  liqueur  glass  would  spoil  us." 

In  this  acme  of  our  intellectual  wealth  we  started  about 
eleven  o'clock  upon  every  species  of  conveyance  that  chance 
could  press  into  the  service.  Of  hackney  coaches  there  were 
few ;  but  in  jingles,  noddies,  and  jaunting-cars,  with  three 
on  a  side  and  "  one  in  the  well,"  we  mustered  strong.  Down 
Barrack  Street  we  galloped,  the  mob  cheering  us,  we  laugh- 
ing, and  I'm  afraid  shouting  a  little  too,  the  watchmen 
springing  their  rattles,  as  if  instinctively  at  any  noise,  and 
the  whole  population  up  and  awake,  evidently  entertaining 
a  high   opinion   of  our   convivial    qualities.     Our   voices 


152  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

became  gradually  more  decorous,  however,  as  we  ap- 
proached the  more  civilized  quarter  of  the  town  ;  and  with 
only  the  slight  stoppage  of  the  procession  to  pick  up  an 
occasional  dropper-off  as  he  lapsed  from  the  seat  of  a  jaun- 
ting-car, we  arrived  at  length  at  our  host's  residence,  some- 
where in  Sackville  Street. 

Had  our  advent  conferred  the  order  of  knighthood  upon 
the  host,  he  could  not  have  received  us  with  more  delight. 
He  shook  us  all  in  turn  by  the  hand,  to  the  number  of 
eight  and  thirty,  and  then  presented  us  seriatim  to  his 
spouse,  —  a  very  bejewelled  lady  of  some  forty  years,  who, 
what  between  bugles,  feathers,  and  her  turban,  looked  ex- 
ceedingly like  a  Chinese  pagoda  upon  a  saucer.  The  rooms 
were  crowded  to  suffocation,  the  noise  awful,  and  the  com- 
pany crushing  and  elbowing  rather  a  little  more  than  you 
expect  where  the  moiety  are  of  the  softer  sex.  However, 
we  all  so  perfectly  fell  in  with  the  habits  of  the  place  that 
ere  half  an  hour  we  squeezed,  ogled,  leered,  and  drank 
champagne  like  the  rest  of  the  corporation. 

"  Devilish  hot  work,  this  ! "  said  the  Colonel,  as  he  passed 
me  with  a  rosy-cheeked,  smiling  lady  on  each  arm.  "  The 
mayor  —  that  little  fellow  in  the  punch-colored  shorts  — 
has  very  nearly  put  me  hors  de  combat  with  strong  negus; 
take  care  of  him,  I  advise  you." 

Tipsy  as  I  felt  myself,  I  was  yet  sufficiently  clear  to  be 
fully  alive  to  the  drollery  of  the  scene  before  me.  Flirta- 
tions that  under  other  circumstances  would  demand  the 
secrecy  and  solitude  of  a  country  green  lane  or  some  garden 
bower,  were  here  conducted  in  all  the  open  effrontery  of 
wax-lights  and  lustres ;  looks  were  interchanged,  hands  were 
squeezed,  soft  things  whispered,  and  smiles  returned,  till 
the  intoxication  of  "  punch  negus  "  and  spiced  port  gave 
way  to  the  far  greater  one  of  bright  looks  and  tender 
glances.  Quadrilles  and  country  dances  (waltzing  there 
was  none,  perhaps  all  for  the  best),  whist,  backgammon,  loo 
unlimited  for  uproar,  sandwiches  and  warm  liquors,  em- 
ployed us  pretty  briskly  till  supper  was  announced,  when  a 
grand  squeeze  took  place  on  the  stairs,  the  population  tend- 


A  REMINISCENCE.  153 

ing  thitherward  with  an  eagerness  that  a  previous  starva- 
tion of  twenty-four  hours  could  alone  justify.  Among  this 
dense  mass  of  moving  muslin,  velvet,  and  broadcloth  I 
found  myself  chaperoning  an  extremely  tempting  little 
damsel,  with  a  pair  of  laughing  blue  eyes  and  dark  eye- 
lashes, who  had  been  committed  to  my  care  and  guidance 
for  the  passage. 

"Miss  Moriarty,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  an  old  lady  in 
green  and  spangles,  who  I  afterwards  found  was  the  lady 
mayoress. 

"  The  nicest  girl  in  the  room,"  said  a  gentleman  with  a 
Tipperary  accent,  "and  has  a  mighty  sweet  place  near 
Althlone." 

The  hint  was  not  lost  upon  me,  and  I  speedily  began  to 
"make  up"  to  my  charge;  and  before  we  reached  the 
supper-room,  learned  certain  particulars  of  her  history 
which  I  have  not  yet  forgotten.  She  was,  it  seems,  sister 
to  a  lady  then  in  the  room,  the  wife  of  an  attorney  who 
rejoiced  in  the  pleasing  and  classical  appellation  of  Mr. 
Mark  Anthony  Fitzpatrick ;  the  aforesaid  Mark  Anthony 
being  a  tall,  raw-boned,  black-whiskered,  ill-looking  dog, 
that  from  time  to  time  contrived  to  throw  very  uncomfort- 
able-looking glances  at  me  and  Mary  Anne  —  for  she  was 
so  named  —  the  whole  time  of  supper.  After  a  few  min- 
utes, however,  I  totally  forgot  him,  and  indeed  everything 
else,  in  the  fascination  of  my  fair  companion.  She  shared 
her  chair  with  me,  upon  which  I  supported  her  by  my  arm 
passed  round  the  back ;  we  ate  our  pickled  salmon,  jelly, 
blanc-mange,  cold  chicken,  ham,  and  custard  off  the  same 
plate,  with  an  occasional  squeeze  of  the  finger,  as  our  hands 
met,  her  eyes  making  sad  havoc  with  me  all  the  while,  as  I 
poured  my  tale  of  love  —  love,  lasting,  burning,  all-consum- 
ing —  into  her  not  unwilling  ear. 

"  Ah  !  now,  ye  're  not  in  earnest  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Mary  Anne,  by  all  that 's  —  " 

"  Well,    there,  now,   don't   swear,  and   take  care ;    sure 
Mark  Anthony  is  looking." 

"  Mark  Anthony  be  —  " 


154  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Oh  !  how  passionate  you  are  !  I  'm  sure  I  never  could 
live  easy  with  you.  There,  now  give  me  some  sponge-cake, 
and  don't  be  squeezing  me,  or  they  '11  see  you." 

"Yes,  to  my  heart,  dearest  girl." 

"  Och !  it 's  cheese  you  're  giving  me,"  said  she,  with  a 
grimace  that  nearly  cured  my  passion. 

"  A  cottage,  a  hut,  with  you  —  with  you  !  "  said  I,  in  a 
cadence  that  I  defy  Macready  to  rival.  "  What  is  worldly 
splendor  or  the  empty  glitter  of  rank  ?  " 

I  here  glanced  at  my  epaulets,  upon  which  I  saw  her 
eyes  riveted. 

"  Is  n't  the  ginger-beer  beautiful !  "  said  she,  emptying  a 
glass  of  champagne. 

Still,  I  was  not  to  be  roused  from  my  trance,  and  con- 
tinued my  courtship  as  warmly  as  ever. 

" I  suppose  you  will  come  home  noiv"  said  a  gruff  voice 
behind  Mary  Anne. 

I  turned,  and  perceived  Mark  Anthony  with  a  grim  look 
of  peculiar  import. 

"  Oh !  Mark,  dear,  I  'm  engaged  to  dance  another  set 
with  this  gentleman." 

"  Ye  are,  are  ye  ? "  replied  Mark,  eying  me  askance. 
"  Troth,  and  I  think  the  gentleman  would  be  better  if  he 
went  off  to  his  flea-bag  himself." 

In  my  then  mystified  intellect  this  west-country  synonym 
for  a  bed  a  little  jmzzled  me. 

"  Yes,  sir,  the  lady  is  engaged  to  me,  —  have  you  any- 
thing to  say  to  that  ?  " 

"Nothing,  at  present,  at  all,"  said  Mark,  almost  timidly. 

"  Oh  dear,  oh  dear  !  "  sobbed  Mary  Anne ;  "  they  're  going 
to  fight,  and  he  '11  be  killed,  I  know  he  will." 

For  which  of  us  this  fate  was  destined,  I  stopped  not  to 
consider ;  but  taking  the  lady  under  my  arm,  elbowed  my 
way  to  the  drawing-room  amid  a  very  sufficient  patting 
upon  the  back  and  thumping  between  the  shoulders,  be- 
stowed by  members  of  the  company  who  approved  of  my 
proceedings.  The  three  fiddles,  the  flute  and  bassoon,  that 
formed   our  band,    being  by   this  time  sufficiently   drunk, 


A  REMINISCENCE. 


155 


played  after  a  fashion  of  their  own,  which,  by  one  of  those 
strange  sympathies  of  our  nature,  imparted  its  influence  to 
our  legs,  and  a  country  dance  was  performed  in  a  style  of 
free  and  easy  gesticulation  that  defies  description.  At  the 
end  of  eighteen  couple,  tired  of  my  exertions,  —  and  they 
were  not  slight,  —  I  leaned  my  back  against  the  wall  of  the 
room,  which  I  now,  for  the  first  time,  perceived  was  covered 


illka 


M^mS- 


with  a  very  peculiar  and  novel  species  of  hanging,  —  no  less 
than  a  kind  of  rough,  green-baize  cloth,  that  moved  and 
floated  at  every  motion  of  the  air.  I  paid  little  attention  to 
this,  till  suddenly  turning  my  head,  something  gave  way 
behind  it.  I  felt  myself  struck  upon  the  back  of  the  neck, 
and  fell  forward  into  the  room,  covered  by  a  perfect  ava- 
lanche of  fenders,  fire-irons,  frying-pans,  and  copper  kettles, 
mingled  with  the  lesser  artillery  of  small  nails,  door-keys, 


156  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

and  holdfasts.  There  I  lay  amid  the  most  vociferous  mirth 
I  ever  listened  to,  under  the  confounded  torrent  of  iron- 
mongery that  half  stunned  me.  The  laughter  over,  I  was 
assisted  to  rise ;  and  having  drunk  about  a  pint  of  vinegar, 
and  had  my  face  and  temples  washed  in  strong  whiskey  punch, 

—  the  allocation  of  the  fluids  being  mistaken,  —  I  learned 
that  our  host,  the  high  sheriff,  was  a  celebrated  tin  and  iron 
man,  that  his  ball-room  was  no  other  than  his  magazine 
of  metals,  and  that  to  conceal  the  well-filled  shelves  from 
the  gaze  of  his  aristocratic  guests,  they  were  clothed  in  the 
manner  related,  —  which  my  unhappy  head,  by  some  mis- 
fortune, displaced,  and  thus  brought  on  a  calamity  scarcely 
less  afflicting  to  him  than  to  myself.  1  should  scarcely 
have  stopped  to  mention  this  here,  were  it  not  that  Mary 
Anne's  gentle  nursing  of  me  in  my  misery  went  far  to  com- 
plete what  her  fascination  had  begun;  and  although  she 
could  not  help  laughing  at  the  occurrence,  I  forgave  her 
readily  for  her  kindness. 

"  Remember,"  said  I,  trying  to  ogle  through  a  black  eye, 
painted  by  the  angle  of  a  register  grate, — "  remember, 
Mary  Anne,  I  am  to  see  you  home." 

"Oh,  dear,  sir!  sure  I  don't  know  how  you  can  manage 
it  —  " 

Here  Mark  Anthony's  entrance  cut  short  her  speech,  for 
he  came  to  declare  that  some  of  the  officers  had  taken  his 
coach,  and  was,  as  might  be  supposed,  in  a  towering 
passion. 

"  If,  sir,"  said  I,  with  an  air  of  the  most  balmy  courtesy, 

—  "if  I  can  be  of  any  use  in  assisting  you  to  see  your 
friends  home  —  " 

"  Ah !  then,  ye  're  a  nice-looking  article  to  see  ladies 
home.     I  wish  you  seen  yourself  this  minute,"  said  he. 

As  I  felt  it  would  be  no  breach  of  the  unities  —  time, 
place,  and  everything  considered  —  to  smash  his  skull,  I 
should  certainly  have  proceeded  to  do  so,  had  not  a  look  of 
the  most  imploring  kind  from  Mary  Anne  restrained  me. 
By  this  time  he  had  taken  her  under  the  arm  and  was 
leading  her  away.     I  stood  irresolute,  till  a  glance  from  my 


A  KEMINISCENCE.  157 

charmer  caught  me ;  when  I  rallied  at  once,  and  followed 
them  downstairs.  Here  the  scene  was  to  the  full  as  the 
above ;  the  cloaking,  shawling,  shoeing,  etc.,  of  the  ladies 
being  certainly  as  mirth-moving  a  process  as  I  should  wish 
to  see.  Here  were  mothers  trying  to  collect  their  daughters, 
as  a  hen  her  chickens,  and,  as  in  that  case,  the  pursuit  of 
one  usually  lost  all  the  others  ;  testy  papas  swearing  ;  lovers 
leering  as  they  twisted  the  boas  round  the  fair  throats  of 
their  sweethearts  ;  vows  of  love  mingling  with  lamentations 
for  a  lost  slipper  or  a  stray  mantle.  Sometimes  the  candles 
were  extinguished,  and  the  melee  became  greater,  till  the 
order  and  light  were  restored  together.  Meanwhile,  each 
of  our  fellows  had  secured  his  fair  one,  save  myself,  and 
I  was  exposed  to  no  small  ridicule  for  my  want  of  tact. 
Nettled  by  this,  I  made  a  plunge  to  the  corner  of  the  room, 
where  Mary  Anne  was  shawling ;  I  recognized  her  pink 
sash,  threw  her  cloak  over  her  shoulders,  and  at  the  very 
moment  that  Mark  Anthony  drew  his  wife's  arm  within 
his,  I  performed  the  same  by  my  friend,  and  followed  them 
to  the  door.  Here  the  grim  brother-in-law  turned  round  to 
take  Mary  Anne's  arm,  and  seeing  her  with  me,  merely 
gave  a  kind  of  hoarse  chuckle,  and  muttered:  "Very  well, 
sir  ;  upon  my  conscience,  you  will  have  it,  I  see."  During 
this  brief  interval,  so  occupied  was  I  in  watching  him  that 
I  never  once  looked  in  my  fair  friend's  face ;  but  the  gen- 
tle squeeze  of  her  arm,  as  she  leaned  upon  me,  assured  me 
that  I  had  her  approval  of  what  I  was  doing. 

What  was  the  precise  train  of  my  thoughts,  and  what  the 
subjects  of  conversation  between  us,  I  am  unfortunately 
now  unable  to  recollect.  It  is  sufficient  to  remember  that 
I  could  riot  believe  five  minutes  had  elapsed,  when  we 
arrived  at  York  Street. 

"Then  you  confess  you  love  me,"  said  I,  as  I  squeezed 
her  arm  to  my  side.  "  Then,  by  this  kiss  I  swear  never 
to  relinquish  —  " 

What  I  was  about  to  add,  I  am  sure  I  know  not ;  but 
true  it  is  that  a  certain  smacking  noise  here  attracted  Mr. 
Mark  Anthony's   attention,  who  started  round,  looked  us 


158  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

full  in  the  face,  and  then  gravely  added :  "  Enough  is  as 
good  as  a  feast.  I  wish  you  pleasant  drames,  Mr.  Larry 
Kar,  if  that 's  your  name  ;  and  you  '11  hear  from  me  in  the 
morning." 

"  I  intend  it,"  said  I.  "  Good  night,  dearest ;  think  of 
— "  The  slam  of  the  street-door  in  my  face  spoiled  the 
peroration,  and  I  turned  towards  home. 

By  the  time  I  reached  the  barracks,  the  united  effects  of 
champagne,  sherry,  and  Sheffield  iron  had  in  a  good  meas- 
ure subsided,  and  my  head  had  become  sufficiently  clear  to 
permit  a  slight  retrospect  of  the  evening's  amusement. 

From  two  illusions  I  was  at  last  awakened :  first,  the 
high-sheriff's  ball  was  not  the  most  accurate  representation 
of  high  society ;  secondly,  I  was  not  deeply  enamoured  of 
Mary  Anne  Moriarty.  Strange  as  it  may  seem,  and  how  little 
soever  the  apparent  connection  between  those  two  facts, 
the  truth  of  one  had  a  considerable  influence  in  deciding  the 
other.  " N'importe"  said  I,  "the  thing  is  over;  it  was 
rather  good  fun,  too,  upon  the  whole,  —  saving  the  chute 
des  casseroles ;  and  as  to  the  lady,  she  must  have  seen  it 
was  a  joke  as  well  as  myself.  At  least,  so  I  am  decided  it 
shall  be  ;  and  as  there  was  no  witness  to  our  conversation, 
the  thing  is  easily  got  out  of." 

The  following  day,  as  I  was  dressing  to  ride  out,  my 
servant  announced  no  less  a  person  than  Mr.  Mark  Anthony 
Fitzpatrick,  who  said  that  he  came  upon  a  little  business, 
and  must  see  me  immediately. 

Mr.  Fitzpatrick,  upon  being  announced,  speedily  opened 
his  negotiation  by  asking,  in  very  terse  and  unequivocal 
phrase,  my  intentions  regarding  his  sister-in-law.  After 
professing  the  most  perfect  astonishment  at  the  question 
and  its  possible  import,  I  replied  that  she  was  a  most 
charming  person,  with  whom  I  intended  to  have  nothing 
whatever  to  do. 

"And  maybe  you  never  proposed  for  her  at  the  ball  last 
night  ?  " 

"  Propose  for  a  lady  at  a  ball  the  first  time  I  ever  met 
her!" 


A  REMINISCENCE.  159 

"  Just  so.  Can  you  carry  your  memory  so  far  back  ?  Or 
perhaps  I  had  better  refresh  it ; "  and  he  here  repeated 
the  whole  substance  of  my  conversation  on  my  way  home- 
ward, sometimes  in  the  very  words  I  used. 

"But,  my  dear  sir,  the  young  lady  could  never  have  sup- 
posed I  used  such  language  as  this  you  have  repeated  ?  " 

"So,  then,  you  intend  to  break  off?  Well,  then,  it's 
right  to  tell  you  that  you  're  in  a  very  ugly  scrape,  for  it  was 
my  wife  you  took  home  last  night, — not  Miss  Moriarty; 
and  I  leave  you  to  choose  at  your  leisure  whether  you  'd 
rather  be  defendant  in  a  suit  for  breach  of  promise  or 
seduction.  And,  upon  my  conscience,  I  think  it 's  civil  in 
me  to  give  you  a  choice." 

What  a  pretty  disclosure  was  here  !  So  that  while  I  was 
imagining  myself  squeezing  the  hand  and  winning  the 
heart  of  the  fair  Mary  Anne,  I  was  merely  making  a  case  of 
strong  evidence  for  a  jury,  that  might  expose  me  to  the  world 
and  half  ruin  me  in  damages.  There  was  but  one  course 
open,  —  to  make  a  fight  for  it ;  and  from  what  I  saw  of 
my  friend  Mark  Anthony,  this  did  not  seem  difficult. 

I  accordingly  assumed  a  high  tone,  —  laughed  at  the  en- 
tire affair ;  said  it  was  a  "  way  that  we  had  in  the  army  ;  " 
that  "  we  never  meant  anything  by  it,"  etc. 

In  a  few  minutes  I  perceived  the  bait  was  taking.  Mr. 
Fitzpatrick's  west-country  blood  was  up  ;  all  thought  of 
the  legal  resource  was  abandoned ;  and  he  flung  out  of  the 
room  to  find  a  friend,  I  having  given  him  the  name  of 
"  one  of  ours "  as  mine  upon  the  occasion. 

Very  little  time  was  lost,  for  before  three  o'clock  that 
afternoon  a  meeting  was  fixed  for  the  following  morning  at 
the  North  Bull ;  and  I  had  the  satisfaction  of  hearing  that 
I  only  escaped  the  malignant  eloquence  of  Holmes  in  the 
King's  Bench,  to  be  "  blazed  "  at  by  the  best  shot  on  the 
western  circuit.  The  thought  was  not  agreeable,  and  I 
indemnified  myself  for  the  scrape  by  a  very  satisfactory 
anathema  upon  the  high-sheriff  and  his  ball  and  his  con- 
founded saucepans ;  for  to  the  lady's  sympathy  for  my 
sufferings  I  attributed  much  of  my  folly. 


100  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

At  eight  the  next  morning  I  found  myself  standing,  with 
Curzon  and  the  doctor,  upon  the  bleak  portion  of  her 
Majesty's  dominions  they  term  the  North  Bull,  Avaiting,  in 
a  chilly  rain  and  a  raw  fog,  till  it  pleased  Mark  Anthony 
Fitzpatrick  to  come  and  shoot  me,  —  such  being  the  precise 
terms  of  our  combat,  in  the  opinion  of  all  parties. 

The  time,  however,  passed  on,  and  half-past  eight,  three- 
quarters,  and  at  last  nine  o'clock,  without  his  appearing ; 
when  just  as  Curzon  had  resolved  upon  our  leaving  the 
ground,  a  hack  jaunting-car  was  seen  driving  at  full  speed 
along  the  road  near  us.  It  came  nearer,  and  at  length  drew 
up ;  two  men  leaped  off  and  came  towards  us,  one  of  whom, 
as  he  came  forward,  took  off  his  hat  politely  and  introduced 
himself  as  Mr.  O'Gorman,  the  fighting  friend  of  Mark 
Anthony. 

"  It 's  a  mighty  unpleasant  business  I  'm  come  upon, 
gentlemen,"  said  he.  "  Mr.  Fitzpatrick  has  been  unavoida- 
bly prevented  from  having  the  happiness  to  meet  you  this 
morning  —  " 

"  Then  you  can't  expect  us,  sir,  to  dance  attendance  upon 
him  here  to-morrow,"  said  Curzon,  interrupting. 

"  By  no  manner  of  means,"  replied  the  other,  placidly, 
"  for  it  would  be  equally  inconvenient  for  him  to  be  here 
then.  But  I  have  only  to  say  that  as  I  'm  here  for  my 
friend,  and  know  all  the  particulars  of  the  case,  maybe 
you  'd  have  the  kindness  to  waive  all  etiquette  and  let  me 
stand  in  his  place." 

"Certainly  and  most  decidedly  not,"  said  Curzon. 
"  Waive  etiquette  !  Why,  sir,  we  have  no  quarrel  with 
you,   never  saw  you  before." 

"  Well,  now,  is  n't  this  hard  ?  "  said  Mr.  O'Gorman,  ad- 
dressing his  friend,  who  stood  by  with  a  pistol-case  under 
his  arm  ;  "  but  I  told  Mark  that  I  was  sure  they  'd  be 
standing  upon  punctilio,  for  they  were  English.  Well,  sir," 
said  he,  turning  towards  Curzon,  "there's  but  one  way  to 
arrange  it  now,  that  I  see.  Mr.  Fitzpatrick,  you  must 
know,  was  arrested  this  morning  for  a  trifle  of  £140.  If 
you  or  your  friend  there  will  join  us  in  the  bail,  we  can  get 


A  REMINISCENCE.  161 

him  out,  and  he  '11  fight  you  in  the  morning  to  your 
satisfaction." 

When  the  astonishment  this  proposal  had  created,  sub- 
sided, we  assured  Mr.  O'Gorman  that  we  were  noways 
disposed  to  pay  such  a  price  for  our  amusement,  —  a  fact 
that  seemed  considerably  to  surprise  both  him  and  his 
friend ;  and  adding  that  to  Mr.  Fitzpatrick  personally  we 
should  feel  bound  to  hold  ourselves  pledged  at  a  future 
period,  we  left  the  ground,  Curzon  laughing  heartily  at  the 
original  expedient  thus  suggested,  while  I  inwardly  pro- 
nounced a  most  glowing  eulogy  on  the  law  of  imprisonment 
for  debt. 

Before  Mr.  Fitzpatrick  obtained  the  benefit  of  the  Act, 
we  were  ordered  abroad,  and  I  have  never  since  heard  of 
him. 


VOL.  II.  — 11 


CHAPTER   XVII. 

TUE    TWO     LETTERS. 

From  the  digression  of  the  last  chapter  I  was  recalled  by 
the  sight  of  the  two  letters  which  lay  during  my  revery  un- 
opened before  me.  I  first  broke  the  seal  of  Lady  Callonby's 
epistle,  which  ran  thus  :  — 

Munich,  La  Croix  Blanche. 

My  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  —  I  have  just  heard  from  Kilkee  that 
you  are  at  length  about  to  pay  us  your  long-promised  visit,  and  write 
these  few  lines  to  beg  that  before  leaving  Paris  you  will  kindly  execute 
for  me  the  commissions  of  which  I  enclose  a  formidable  list,  or  at  least 
as  many  of  them  as  you  can  conveniently  accomplish.  Our  stay  here 
now  will  be  so  short  that  it  will  require  all  your  despatch  to  over- 
take us  before  reaching  Milan,  Lady  Jane's  health  recmiring  an  im- 
mediate change  of  climate.  Our  present  plans  are  to  winter  in  Italy, 
although  such  will  interfere  considerably  with  Lord  Callonby,  who  is 
pressed  much  by  his  friends  to  accept  office.  However,  all  this  and 
other  gossip  I  reserve  for  our  meeting.  Meanwhile,  adieu!  and  if 
any  of  my  commissions  bore  you,  omit  them  at  once,  except  the  white 
roses  and  the  Brussels  veil,  which  Lady  Jane  is  most  anxious  for. 

Sincerely  yours, 

Charlotte   Callonby. 

How  much  did  these  few  and  apparently  commonplace 
lines  convey  to  me  ?  First,  my  visit  was  not  only  expected, 
but  actually  looked  forward  to,  canvassed,  perhaps  I  might 
almost  whisper  to  myself  the  flattery,  —  wished  for.  Again, 
Lady  Jane's  health  was  spoken  of  as  precarious,  —  less  ac- 
tual illness,  I  said  to  myself,  than  mere  delicac}*-  requiring 
the  bluer  sky  and  warmer  air  of  Italy.  Perhaps  her  spirits 
were  affected,  —  some  mental  malady ;  some  ill-placed 
passion :  que  sais-je  ?  In  fact,  my  brain  ran  on  so  fast 
in  its  devisings  that  by  a  quick  process,  less  logical  than 
pleasing,  I  satisfied  myself  that  the  lovely  Lady  Jane  Cal- 


THE  TWO  LETTERS.  163 

lonby  was  actually  in  love — with  whom,  let  the  reader 
guess.  And  Lord  Callonby,  too,  about  to  join  the  Ministry, 
—  well,  all  the  better  to  have  one's  father-in-law  in  power ; 
promotion  {5  so  cursed  slow  nowadays.  And  lastly  the 
sly  allusion  to  the  commissions,  —  the  malice  of  introducing 
her  name  to  interest  me.  With  such  materials  as  these  to 
build  upon,  frail  as  they  may  seem  to  others,  I  found  no 
difficulty  in  regarding  myself  as  the  dear  friend  of  the 
family  and  the  acknowledged  suitor  of  Lady  Jane. 

In  the  midst,  however,  of  all  my  self-gratulation,  my  eye 
fell  upon  the  letter  of  Emily  Bingham,  and  I  suddenly  re- 
membered how  fatal  to  all  such  happy  anticipations  it 
might  prove.    I  tore  it  open  in  passionate  haste  and  read : 

My  dear  Mr.  Lorrequer,  —  As  from  the  interview  we  have  had 
this  morning  I  am  inclined  to  believe  that  I  have  gained  your  affec- 
tions, I  think  that  I  should  ill  requite  such  a  state  of  your  feeling  for 
me  were  I  to  conceal  that  I  cannot  return  you  mine,  —  in  fact,  that 
they  are  not  mine  to  bestow.  This  frank  avowal,  whatever  pain  it 
may  have  cost  me,  I  think  I  owe  to  you  to  make.  You  will  perhaps 
say  the  confession  should  have  been  earlier.  To  which  I  reply,  it 
should  have  been  so,  had  I  known,  or  even  guessed  at,  the  nature  of 
your  feelings  for  me ;  for  —  and  I  write  it  in  all  truth  and  perfect  re- 
spect for  you  —  1  only  saw  in  your  attentions  the  flirting  habits  of  a 
man  of  the  world  with  a  very  unformed  and  ignorant  girl  of  eighteen, 
with  whom,  as  it  was  his  amusement  to  travel,  he  deemed  it  worth 
his  while  to  talk.  I  now  see,  and  bitterly  regret,  my  error,  yet  deem 
it  better  to  make  this  painful  confession  than  suffer  you  to  remain 
in  a  delusion  which  may  involve  your  happiness  in  the  wreck  of 
mine.     I  am  most  faithfully  your  friend, 

Emily  Bingham. 

"  What  a  charming  girl  she  is  ! "  I  cried,  as  I  finished  the 
letter;  "how  full  of  true  feeling,  how  honorable,  how 
straightforward !  And  yet  it  is  devilish  strange  how  cun- 
ningly she  played  her  part,  and  it  seems  now  that  I  never 
did  touch  her  affections.  Master  Harry,  I  begin  to  fear 
you  are  not  altogether  the  awful  lady-killer  you  have  been 
thinking."  Thus  did  I  meditate  upon  this  singular  note ; 
my  delight  at  being  once  more  "  free  "  mingling  with  some 


164  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

chagrin  that  I  was  jockeyed,  and  by  a  young  miss  of  eigh- 
teen too.  "  Confoundedly  disagreeable  if  the  mess  knew 
it,"  thought  I.  "Per  Bacco!  how  they  would  quiz  upon 
my  difficulty  to  break  off  a  match,  when  the  lady  was  only 
anxious  to  get  rid  of  meP 

"  This  affair  must  never  come  to  their  ears,  or  I  am 
ruined ;  and  now,  the  sooner  all  negotiations  are  concluded, 
the  better.  I  must  obtain  a  meeting  with  Emily,  acknowl- 
edge the  truth  and  justice  of  all  her  views,  express  my 
deep  regret  at  the  issue  of  the  affair,  slyly  hint  that  I  have 
been  merely  playing  her  own  game  back  upon  her,  —  for 
it  would  be  the  devil  to  let  her  go  off  with  the  idea  that 
she  had  singed  me,  yet  never  caught  fire  herself,  —  so  that 
we  both  shall  draw  stakes  and  part  friends." 

This  valiant  resolution  taken,  I  wrote  a  very  short  note, 
begging  an  interview,  and  proceeded  to  make  as  formidable 
a  toilet  as  I  could  for  the  forthcoming  meeting ;  before  I 
had  concluded  which,  a  verbal  answer  by  her  maid  informed 
me  that  "Miss  Bingham  was  alone,  and  ready  to  receive 


me." 


As  I  took  my  way  along  the  corridor  I  could  not  help 
feeling  that  among  all  my  singular  scrapes  and  embarrass- 
ing situations  through  life  my  present  mission  was  cer- 
tainly not  the  least,  the  difficulty,  such  as  it  was,  being 
considerably  increased  by  my  own  confounded  amour-jjrojire, 
that  would  not  leave  me  satisfied  with  obtaining  my  liberty 
if  I  could  not  insist  upon  coming  off  scathless  also.  In 
fact,  I  was  not  content  to  evacuate  the  fortress  if  I  were 
not  to  march  out  with  all  the  honors  of  war.  This  feeling 
I  neither  attempt  to  palliate  nor  defend  ;  I  merely  chronicle 
it  as  are  too  many  of  these  "  Confessions,"  —  a  matter  of 
truth,  yet  not  the  less  a  subject  for  sorrow. 

My  hand  was  upon  the  lock  of  the  door.  I  stopped,  hesi- 
tated, and  listened.  I  certainly  heard  something.  Yes,  it 
is  too  true,  —  she  is  sobbing.  What  a  total  overthrow  of 
all  my  selfish  resolves,  all  my  egotistical  plans,  did  that 
slight  cadence  give  !  She  was  crying,  —  her  tears  for  the 
bitter  pain  she  concluded  I  was  suffering  mingling  doubtless 


THE  TWO   LETTERS.  165 

with  sorrow  for  her  own  sources  of  grief ;  for  it  was  clear 
to  me  that  whoever  may  have  been  my  favored  rival,  the 
attachment  was  either  unknown  to  or  unsanctioned  by  the 
mother.  I  wished  I  had  not  listened ;  all  my  determinations 
were  completely  routed,  and  as  I  opened  the  door  I  felt  my 
heart  beating  almost  audibly  against  my  side. 

In  a  subdued  half-light,  tempered  through  the  rose-colored 
curtains  with  a  small  china  cup  of  newly  plucked  moss- 
roses  upon  the  table,  sat,  or  rather  leaned,  Emily  Bingham, 
her  face  buried  in  her  hands  as  I  entered.  She  did  not 
hear  my  approach,  so  that  I  had  above  a  minute  to  admire 
the  graceful  character  of  her  head  and  the  fine,  undulating 
curve  of  her  neck  and  shoulders,  before  I  spoke. 

"  Miss  Bingham,"  said  I. 

She  started,  looked  up ;  her  dark-blue  eyes,  brilliant 
though  tearful,  were  fixed  upon  me  for  a  second,  as  if 
searching  my  very  inmost  thoughts.  She  held  out  her 
hand,  and  turning  her  head  aside,  made  room  for  me  on  the 
sofa  beside  her.  "  Strange  girl,"  thought  I,  "  that  in  the 
very  moment  of  breaking  with  a  man  forever,  puts  on  her 
most  fascinating  toilet,  arrays  herself  in  her  most  bewitch- 
ing manner,  and  gives  him  a  reception  only  calculated  to 
turn  his  head  and  render  him  ten  times  more  in  love  than 
ever."  Her  hand,  which  remained  still  in  mine,  was  burn- 
ing as  if  in  fever,  and  the  heaving  movement  of  her  neck 
and  shoulders  showed  me  how  much  this  meeting  cost  her. 
We  were  both  silent,  till  at  length,  feeling  that  any  chance 
interruption  might  leave  us  as  far  as  ever  from  understand- 
ing each  other,  I  resolved  to  begin. 

"  My  dear,  dear  Emily,"  I  said,  "  do  not,  I  entreat  of 
you,  add  to  the  misery  I  am  this  moment  enduring  by  let- 
ting me  see  you  thus.  Whatever  your  wrongs  towards  me, 
this  is  far  too  heavy  a  retribution.  My  object  was  never  to 
make  you  wretched ;  if  I  am  not  to  obtain  the  bliss  to 
strive  and  make  you  happy  —  " 

"  Oh,  Harry !  "  —  this  was  the  first  time  she  had  ever  so 
called  me  —  "  how  like  you  to  think  of  me,  —  of  me,  at  such 
a  time,  as  if  I  was  not  the  cause  of  all  our  present  unhappi- 


166  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

ness.  But  not  wilfully,  not  intentionally.  Oh,  no,  no! 
your  attentions,  the  flattery  of  your  notice,  took  me  at 
once,  and  in  the  gratification  of  my  self-esteem  I  forgot  all 
else.  I  heard,  too,  that  you  were  engaged  to  another ;  and 
believing,  as  I  did,  that  you  were  trifling  with  my  affec- 
tions, I  spared  no  effort  to  win  yours.  I  confess  it,  I 
wished  this  with  all  my  soul." 

"  And  now,"  said  I,  "  that  you  have  gained  them,"  — 
here  was  a  pretty  sequel  to  my  well-matured  plans  !  —  "  and 
now,  Emily  —  " 

"  But  have  I  really  done  so  ?  "  said  she,  hurriedly  turn- 
ing round  and  fixing  her  large,  full  eyes  upon  me,  while  one 
of  her  hands  played  carelessly  through  my  hair  —  "  have  I 
your  heart,  —  your  whole  heart  ?  " 

"  Can  you  doubt  it,  dearest  ?  "  said  I,  passionately  press- 
ing her  to  my  bosom,  and  at  the  same  time  muttering, 
"  What  the  devil 's  in  the  wind  now  ?  We  are  surely 
not  going  to  patch  up  our  separation  and  make  love  in 
earnest  ?  " 

There  she  lay,  her  head  upon  my  shoulder,  her  long, 
brown,  waving  ringlets  falling  loosely  across  my  face  and 
on  my  bosom,  her  hand  in  mine.  What  were  her  thoughts 
I  cannot  guess  ;  mine —  God  forgive  me  !  — were  a  fervent 
wish  either  for  her  mother's  appearance,  or  that  the  hotel 
would  suddenly  take  fire,  or  some  other  extensive  calamity 
arise  to  put  the  finishing  stroke  to  this  embarrassing 
situation. 

None  of  these,  however,  were  destined  to  occur ;  and 
Emily  lay  still  and  motionless  as  she  was,  scarce  seeming  to 
breathe,  and  pale  as  death.  "  What  can  this  mean  ?  "  said 
I.  "  Surely  this  is  not  the  usual  way  to  part  with  a  rejected 
suitor  ?  If  it  be,  why  then,  by  Jupiter,  the  successful  one 
must  have  rather  the  worst  of  it ;  and  I  fervently  hope  that 
Lady  Jane  be  not  at  this  moment  giving  her  conge  to  some 
disappointed  swain."  She  slowly  raised  her  large,  black- 
fringed  eyelids,  and  looked  into  my  face  with  an  expression 
at  once  so  tender  and  so  plaintive  that  I  felt  a  struggle 
within  myself   whether   to  press   her   to   my   heart  or  — 


THE  TWO   LETTERS.  167 

What  the  deuce  was  the  alternative  ?  I  hope  my  reader 
knows,  for  I  really  do  not.  "And  after  all,"  thought  I,  "  if 
we  are  to  marry,  I  am  only  anticipating  a  little  ;  and  if  not, 
why  then  a  'chaste  salute,''  as  Winifred  Jenkins  calls  it, 
she  '11  be  none  the  worse  for."  Acting  at  once  upon  this 
resolve,  I  leaned  downwards,  and  was  passing  back  her 
ringlets  from  her  now  flushed  cheek,  when  I  was  startled 
by  my  name,  which  I  heard  called  several  times  in  the 
corridor.  The  door  at  the  same  instant  was  burst  suddenly 
open,  and  Trevanion  appeared. 

"  Harry,  Harry  Lorrequer  !  "  cried  he,  as  he  entered  ; 
then,  suddenly  checking  himself,  added :  "  A  thousand,  ten 
thousand  pardons,  but  —  " 

"But  what,"  cried  I,  passionately,  forgetting  all  save 
the  situation  of  poor  Emily  at  the  moment,  — "  what  can 
justify  —  " 

"Nothing  certainly  can  justify  such  an  intrusion,"  said 
Trevanion,  finishing  my  sentence  for  me,  "  except  the  very 
near  danger  you  run  this  moment  in  being  arrested. 
O'Leary's  imprudence  has  compromised  your  safety,  and 
you  must  leave  Paris  within  an  hour." 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Trevanion,"  said  Emily,  who  by  this  time  had 
regained  a  more  befitting  attitude,  "  pray  speak  out !  What 
is  it  ?  Is  Harry  —  is  Mr.  Lorrequer,  I  mean  —  in  any 
danger  ?  " 

"Nothing  of  consequence,  Miss  Bingham,  if  he  only  act 
with  prudence  and  be  guided  by  his  friends.  Lorrequer, 
you  will  find  me  in  your  apartments  in  half  an  hour ;  till 
then  adieu." 

While  Emily  poured  forth  question  after  question  as  to 
the  nature  and  extent  of  my  present  difficulty,  I  could  not 
help  thinking  of  the  tact  by  which  Trevanion  escaped,  leav- 
ing me  to  make  my  adieus  to  Emily  as  best  I  might ;  for  I 
saw  in  a  glance  that  I  must  leave  Paris  at  once.  I  there- 
fore briefly  gave  her  to  understand  the  affair  at  the  Salon, 
which  I  suspected  to  be  the  cause  of  the  threatened  arrest, 
and  was  about  to  profess  my  unaltered  and  unalterable 
attachment,  when  she  suddenly  stopped  me. 


168  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"No,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  no.  All  is  over  between  us.  We 
must  never  meet  again,  never.  We  have  been  both  playing 
a  part.  Good  by  —  good  by  !  Do  not  altogether  forget  me 
• —  and  once  more,  Harry,  good  by  !  " 

What  I  might  have  said,  thought,  or  done,  I  know  not ; 
but  the  arrival  of  Mrs.  Bingham's  carriage  at  the  door  left 
no  time  for  anything  but  escape.  So  once  more  pressing 
her  hand  firmly  to  my  lips,  I  said,  "Au  revolr,  Emily,  au 
revoir,  —  not  good  by ; "  and  rushing  from  the  room,  regained 
my  room  just  as  Mrs.  Bingham  reached  the  corridor. 


CHAPTEB  XVIII. 


MR.    O'LEARY'S    CAPTURE. 


"  Does  she  really  care  for  me  ?  "  was  my  first  question  to 
myself  as  I  left  the  room.  "  Is  this  story  about  pre-engaged 
affections  merely  a  got-up  thing  to  try  the  force  of  my 
attachment  for  her  ?  For  if  not,  her  conduct  is  most  in- 
explicable ;  and  great  as  my  experience  has  been  in  such 
affairs,  I  avow  myself  out-manoeuvred."  While  I  thought 
over  this  difficulty,  Trevanion  came  up,  and  in  a  few  words 
informed  me  more  fully  upon  what  he  had  hinted  at  before. 
It  appeared  that  O'Leary,  much  more  alive  to  the  impera- 
tive necessity  of  avoiding  detection  by  his  wife  than  of  in- 
volving himself  with  the  police,  had  thrown  out  most  dark 
and  mysterious  hints  in  the  hotel  as  to  the  reason  of  his  resi- 
dence at  Paris,  fully  impressed  with  the  idea  that  to  be  a 
good  Pole  he  need  only  talk  "  revolutionary,"  devote  to  the 
powers  below  all  kings,  czars,  and  kaisers,  weep  over  the 
wrongs  of  his  nation,  wear  rather  seedy  habiliments,  and 
smoke  profusely.  The  latter  were  with  him  easy  condi- 
tions ;  and  he  so  completely  acted  the  former  to  the  life  that 
he  had  been  that  morning  arrested  in  the  Tuileries  gardens 
under  several  treasonable  charges,  —  among  others,  the  con- 
spiracy, with  some  of  his  compatriots,  to  murder  the  min- 
ister of  war. 

However  laughable  such  an  accusation  against  poor 
O'Leary,  one  circumstance  rendered  the  matter  anything 
but  ludicrous.  Although  he  must  come  off  free  of  this 
grave  offence,  yet,  as  the  Salon  transaction  would  neces- 
sarily now  become  known,  I  should  be  immediately  in- 
volved, and  my  departure  from  Paris  prevented. 


170  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

"  So,"  said  Trevanion,  as  he  briefly  laid  before  me  the 
difficulty  of  my  position,  "  you  may  perceive  that  however 
strongly  your  affections  may  be  engaged  in  a  certain  quar- 
ter, it  is  quite  as  well  to  think  of  leaving  Paris  without 
delay.  O'Leary's  arrest  will  be  followed  by  yours,  depend 
upon  it,  and  once  under  the  surveillance  of  the  police,  escape 
is  impossible." 

"But,  seriously,  Trevanion,"  said  I,  nettled  at  the  tone 
of  raillery  he  spoke  in,  "you  must  see  that  there  is  nothing 
whatever  in  that  business.  I  was  merely  taking  my  fare- 
well of  the  fair  Emily.  Her  affections  have  been  long  since 
engaged,  and  I  —  " 

"  Only  endeavoring  to  support  her  in  her  attachment  to 
the  more  favored  rival.     Is  it  not  so  ?  " 

"  Come,  no  quizzing !  Faith !  I  began  to  feel  very  un- 
comfortable about  parting  with  her  the  moment  that  I  dis- 
covered that  I  must  do  so." 

"So  I  guessed,"  said  Trevanion,  with  a  dry  look,  "from 
the  interesting  scene  I  so  abruptly  trespassed  upon.  But 
you  are  right ;  a  little  bit  of  tenderness  is  never  misplaced, 
so  long  as  the  object  is  young,  pretty,  and,  still  more  than 
all,  disposed  for  it." 

"  Quite  out ;  perfectly  mistaken,  believe  me.  Emily  not 
only  never  cared  for  me,  but  she  has  gone  far  enough  to  tell 
me  so." 

"  Then,  from  all  I  know  of  such  matters,"  replied  he, 
"you  were  both  in  a  very  fair  way  to  repair  that  mistake 
on  her  part.     But  hark  !  what  is  this  ?  " 

A  tremendous  noise  in  the  street  here  interrupted  our 
colloquy,  and  on  opening  the  window,  a  strange  scene  pre- 
sented itself  to  our  eyes.  In  the  middle  of  a  dense  mass  of 
moving  rabble,  shouting,  yelling,  and  screaming  with  all 
their  might,  were  two  gendarmes  with  a  prisoner  between 
them.  The  unhappy  man  was  followed  by  a  rather  over- 
dressed, middle-aged  looking  woman,  who  appeared  to  be 
desirous  of  bestowing  the  most  coram  publico  endearments 
upon  the  culprit,  whom  a  second  glance  showed  us  was 
O'Leary. 


MK.   O'LEARY'S   CAPTURE.  171 

"I  tell  you,  my  dear  madam,  you  are  mistaken,"  said 
O'Leary,  addressing  her  with  great  sternness  of  manner 
and  voice. 

"  Mistaken  ?  Never,  never !  How  could  I  ever  be  mis- 
taken in  that  dear  voice,  those  lovely  eyes,  that  sweet  little 
nose  ?  " 

"  Take  her  away,  she 's  deranged,"  said  O'Leary  to  the 
gendarmes.  "Sure,  if  I'm  a  Pole,  that's  enough  of 
misfortune." 

"  I  '11  follow  him  to  the  end  of  the  earth,  I  will." 

"  I  'm  going  to  the  galleys,  God  be  praised ! "  said 
O'Leary. 

"  To  the  galleys,  to  the  guillotine,  —  anywhere,"  re- 
sponded she,  throwing  herself  upon  his  neck,  —  much  less, 
as  it  seemed,  to  his  gratification  than  that  of  the  mob, 
who  laughed  and  shouted  most  uproariously. 

"  Mrs.  Ram,  ain't  you  ashamed  ?  " 

"  He  calls  me  by  my  name,"  said  she,  "  and  he  attempts 
to  disown  me.  Ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  ha  !  "  and  immediately  fell  off 
into  a  strong  paroxysm  of  kicking  and  pinching  and  punch- 
ing the  bystanders,  —  a  malady  well  known  under  the  name 
of  hysterics,  but  being  little  more  than  a  privileged  mode, 
among  certain  ladies,  of  paying  off  some  scores  which  it  is 
not  thought  decent  to  do  in  their  more  sober  moments. 

"Lead  me  away, — anywhere;  convict  me  of  what  you 
like,"  said  he,  "  but  don't  let  her  follow  me." 

The  gendarmes,  who  little  comprehended  the  nature  of 
the  scene  before  them,  were  not  sorry  to  anticipate  a  re- 
newal of  it  on  Mrs.  Ram's  recovery,  and  accordingly  seized 
the  opportunity  to  march  on  with  O'Leary,  who  turned  the 
corner  of  the  Rue  Rivoli  under  a  shower  of  execrations 
from  the  mob  that  fell  fortunately  most  unconsciously  upon 
his  ears. 

The  possibility  of  figuring  in  such  a  procession  con- 
tributed much  to  the  force  of  Trevanion's  reasonings,  and  I 
resolved  to  leave  Paris  at  once. 

"  Promise  me,  then,  to  involve  yourself  in  no  more  scrapes 
for  half  an  hour.     Pack  everything  you  may  want  with  you, 


172  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

unci  by  seven  o'clock  I  will  be  here  with  your  passport  and 
all  ready  for  a  start." 

With  a  beating  brain  and  in  a  whirlwind  of  conflicting 
thoughts,  I  threw  my  clothes  hither  and  thither  into  my 
trunk.  Lady  Jane  and  Emily  both  flitting  every  instant 
before  my  imagination,  and  frequently  an  irresolution  to 
proceed  stopping  all  my  preparations  for  departure,  I  sat 
down  musing  upon  a  chair,  and  half  determined  to  stay 
where  I  was,  come  what  might  of  it.  Finally,  the  possi- 
bility of  exposure  in  a  trial  had  its  weight.  I  continued  my 
occupation  till  the  last  coat  was  folded  and  the  lock  turned, 
when  I  seated  myself  opposite  my  luggage  and  waited  im- 
patiently for  my  friend's  return. 


CHAPTER   XIX. 


THE  JOURNEY. 


Trevanton  came  at  last.  He  had  obtained  my  passport 
and  engaged  a  carriage  to  convey  me  about  eight  miles, 
where  I  should  overtake  the  diligence, — such  a  mode  of 
travelling  being  judged  more  likely  to  favor  my  escape,  by 
attracting  less  attention  than  posting.  It  was  past  ten 
when  I  left  the  Rue  St.  Honore,  having  shaken  hands  with 
Trevanion  for  the  last  time,  and  charged  him  with  ten 
thousand  soft  messages  for  the  "  friends "  I  left  behind 


me. 


When  I  arrived  at  the  village  of  St.  Jacques,  the  diligence 
had  not  come  up.  To  pass  away  the  time,  I  ordered  a 
little  supper  and  a  bottle  of  St.  Julien.  Scarcely  had  I 
seated  myself  to  my  cutlet  when  the  rapid  whirl  of  wheels 
was  heard  without,  and  a  cab  drew  up  suddenly  at  the  door. 
So  naturally  does  the  fugitive  suspect  pursuit  that  my  im- 
mediate impression  was  that  I  was  followed.  In  this 
notion  I  was  strengthened  by  the  tones  of  a  cracked, 
discordant  voice,  asking  in  very  peculiar  French  if  the 
"  diligence  had  passed."  Being  answered  in  the  negative, 
he  walked  into  the  room  where  I  was,  and  speedily,  by  his 
appearance,  removed  any  apprehensions  I  had  felt  as  to  my 
safety.  Nothing  could  less  resemble  the  tall  port  and 
sturdy  bearing  of  a  gendarme  than  the  diminutive  and 
dwarfish  individual  before  me.  His  height  could  scarcely 
have  reached  five  feet,  of  which  the  head  formed  fully  a 
fourth  part ;  and  even  this  was  rendered  in  appearance 
still  greater  by  a  mass  of  loosely  floating  black  hair  that 
fell  upon  his  neck  and  shoulders,  and  gave  him  much  the 
air  of  a  "black  lion"  on  a  signboard.     His  black  frock,  fur- 


174  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

collared  and  braided,  his  ill-made  boots,  his  meerschaum 
projecting  from  his  breast-pocket,  above  all,  his  unwashed 
hands  and  a  heavy  gold  ring  upon  his  thumb,  —  all  made  an 
ensemble  of  evidences  that  showed  he  could  be  nothing  but 
a  German.  His  manner  was  bustling,  impatient,  and  had 
it  not  been  ludicrous,  would  certainly  be  considered  as 
insolent  to  every  one  about  him,  for  he  stared  each  person 
abruptly  in  the  face,  and  mumbled  some  broken  expressions 
of  his  opinion  of  them  half-aloud  in  German.  His  com- 
ments ran  on :  "  Bon  soir,  Monsieur"  to  the  host ;  "  ein 
Bbseivicht,  ganz  sicker,"  —  "a  scoundrel,  without  doubt ;  " 
and  then  added,  still  lower,  "  Rob  you  here  as  soon  as  look 
at  you."  "  Ah,  postilion  I  comment  va?"  —  "  Much  more 
like  a  brigand  after  all,  —  I  know  which  I  'd  take  you  for." 
"  Verfluchte  Fran,"  —  "  How  ugly  the  woman  is  !  "  This 
compliment  was  intended  for  the  hostess,  who  curtseyed 
down  to  the  ground  in  her  ignorance.  At  last,  approaching 
me,  he  stopped,  and  having  steadily  surveyed  me,  mut- 
tered, "  Ein  echter  Engldnder"  —  "A  thorough  Englishman ; 
always  eating."  I  could  not  resist  the  temptation  to  assure 
him  that  I  was  perfectly  aware  of  bis  nattering  impression  in 
my  behalf ;  though  I  had  speedily  to  regret  my  precipitancy, 
for,  less  mindful  of  the  rebuke  than  pleased  at  finding 
some  one  who  understood  German,  he  drew  his  chair  beside 
me  and  entered  into  conversation. 

Every  one  has  surely  felt,  some  time  or  other  in  life,  the 
insufferable  annoyance  of  having  his  thoughts  and  reflections 
interfered  with  and  broken  in  upon  by  the  vulgar  imperti- 
nence and  egotism  of  some  "bore"  who,  mistaking  your 
abstraction  for  attention,  and  your  despair  for  delight,  in- 
flicts upon  you  his  whole  life  and  adventures,  when  your 
own  immediate  destinies  are  perhaps  vacillating  in  the 
scale. 

Such  a  doom  was  now  mine !  Occupied  as  I  was  by  the 
hope  of  the  future,  and  my  fears  lest  any  impediment  to  my 
escape  should  blast  my  prospects  forever,  I  preferred  ap- 
pearing to  pay  attention  to  this  confounded  fellow's  "  per- 
sonal narrative,"  lest  his  questions,  turning  on  my  own 


THE  JOURNEY.  175 

affairs,  might  excite  suspicions  as  to  the  reasons  of  my 
journey. 

I  longed  most  ardently  for  the  arrival  of  the  diligence, 
trusting  that,  with  true  German  thrift,  my  friend  might 
prefer  the  cheapness  of  the  interieur  to  the  magnificence 
of  the  coupe,  and  that  thus  I  should  see  no  more  of  him. 
But  in  this  pleasing  hope  I  was  destined  to  be  disappointed, 
for  I  was  scarcely  seated  in  my  place  when  I  found  him 
beside  me.  The  third  occupant  of  this  "privileged  den," 
as  well  as  my  lamp-light  survey  of  him  permitted,  afforded 
nothing  to  build  on  as  a  compensation  for  the  German.  He 
was  a  tall,  lanky,  lantern-jawed  man,  with  a  hook  nose  and 
projecting  chin;  his  hair,  which  had  only  been  permitted  to 
grow  very  lately,  formed  that  curve  upon  his  forehead  we 
see  in  certain  old-fashioned  horse-shoe  wigs  ;  his  compressed 
lip  and  hard  features  gave  the  expression  of  one  who  had 
seen  a  good  deal  of  the  world,  and  did  n't  think  the  better 
of  it  in  consequence.  I  observed  that  he  listened  to  the 
few  words  we  spoke  while  getting  in  with  some  attention, 
and  then,  like  a  person  who  did  not  comprehend  the 
language,  turned  his  shoulder  towards  us  and  soon  fell 
asleep.  I  was  now  left  to  the  "  tender  mercies  "  of  my 
talkative  companion,  who  certainly  spared  me  not.  Not- 
withstanding my  vigorous  resolves  to  turn  a  deaf  ear  to  his 
narratives,  I  could  not  avoid  learning  that  he  was  the 
director  of  music  to  some  German  prince  ;  that  he  had  been 
to  Paris  to  bring  out  an  opera,  which,  having,  as  he  said,  an 
"  immense  success,"  he  was  about  to  repeat  in  Strasburg. 
He  further  informed  me  that  a  depute  from  Alsace  had 
obtained  for  him  a  government  permission  to  travel  with 
the  courier  ;  but  that  he,  being  "social  "  withal,  and  noways 
proud,  preferred  the  democracy  of  the  diligence-  to  the 
solitary  grandeur  of  the  caleche  (for  which  Heaven  con- 
found him  !),  and  thus  became  my  present  companion. 

Music  in  all  its  shapes  and  forms  made  up  the  staple  of 
the  little  man's  talk.  There  was  scarcely  an  opera  or  an 
overture,  from  Mozart  to  Donizetti,  that  he  did  not  insist 
upon  singing  a  scene  from ;  and  wound  up  all  by  a  very 


176  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

pathetic  lamentation  over  English  insensibility  to  music, 
which  he  in  great  part  attributed  to  our  having  only  one 
opera,  which  he  kindly  informed  me  was  "  Bob  et  Joan." 
However  indisposed  to  check  the  current  of  his  loquacity 
by  any  effort  of  mine,  I  could  not  avoid  the  temptation  to 
translate  for  him  a  story  which  Sir  Walter  Scott  once  re- 
lated to  me,  and  which  was  so  far  a  propos  as  conveying  my 
own  sense  of  the  merits  of  our  national  music,  such  as  we 
have  it,  by  its  associations  with  scenes  and  persons  and 
places  we  are  all  familiar  with,  however  unintelligible  to 
the  ear  of  a  stranger. 

A  young  French  vicomte  was  fortunate  enough  to  obtain 
in  marriage  the  hand  of  a  singularly  pretty  Scotch  heiress 
of  an  ancient  family  and  good  fortune,  who,  amongst  her 
other  endowments,  possessed  a  large  old-fashioned  house  in 
a  remote  district  of  the  Highlands,  where  her  ancestors 
had  resided  for  centuries.  Thither  the  young  couple  re- 
paired to  pass  the  honeymoon  ;  the  enamoured  bridegroom 
gladly  availing  himself  of  the  opportunity  to  ingratiate 
himself  with  his  new  connection  by  adopting  the  reclusion 
he  saw  practised  by  the  English  on  such  occasions.  How- 
ever consonant  to  our  notions  of  happiness,  and  however 
conducive  to  our  enjoyment  this  custom  be,  —  and  I  have 
strong  doubts  upon  the  subject,  —  it  certainly  prospered  ill 
Avith  the  volatile  Frenchman,  who  pined  for  Paris,  its  cafes, 
its  boulevards,  its  maisons  dejeu,  and  its  soirees.  His  days 
were  passed  in  looking  from  the  deep  and  narrow  windows 
of  some  oak-framed  room  upon  the  bare  and  heath-clad 
moors,  or  watching  the  cloud  shadows  as  they  passed  across 
the  dark  pine-trees  that  closed  the  distance. 

Bored  to  death,  and  convinced  that  he  had  sacrificed 
enough,  and  more  than  enough,  to  the  barbarism  which 
demanded  such  a  sejour,  he  was  sitting  one  evening  listlessly 
upon  the  terrace  in  front  of  the  house,  plotting  a  speedy 
escape  from  his  gloomy  abode,  and  meditating  upon  the 
life  of  pleasure  that  awaited  him,  when  the  discordant 
twang  of  some  savage  music  broke  upon  his  ear  ahd  roused 
him  from  his  revery.     The  wild  scream  and  fitful  burst  of 


,  THE  JOURNEY.  177 

a  Highland  pibroch  is  certainly  not  the  most  likely  thing 
in  nature  to  allay  the  irritable  and  ruffled  feelings  of  an 
irascible  person,  —  unless,  perhaps,  the  hearer  eschew 
breeches.  So  thought  the  vicomte.  He  started  hurriedly 
up,  and  straight  before  him,  up  the  gravel  walk,  beheld  the 
stalwart  figure  and  bony  frame  of  an  old  Highlander,  blow- 
ing, with  all  his  lungs,  the  "  Gathering  of  the  Clans." 
With  all  the  speed  he  could  muster  he  rushed  into  the 
house,  and  calling  his  servants,  ordered  them  to  expel  the 
intruder  and  drive  him  at  once  outside  the  demesne.  When 
the  mandate  was  made  known  to  the  old  piper,  it  was  with 
the  greatest  difficulty  he  could  be  brought  to  comprehend 
it ;  for,  time  out  of  mind,  his  approach  had  been  hailed  with 
every  demonstration  of  rejoicing,  and  now —  But  no,  the 
thing  was  impossible ;  there  must  be  a  mistake  somewhere. 
He  was  accordingly  about  to  recommence,  when  a  second 
and  stronger  hint  suggested  to  him  that  it  were  safer  to 
depart.  "  Maybe  the  carl  didna  like  the  pipes,"  said  the 
Highlander,  musingly,  as  he  packed  them  up  for  his  march ; 
"  maybe  he  didna  like  me ;  perhaps,  too,  he  was  na  in  the 
humor  for  music."  He  paused  for  an  instant,  as  if  reflect- 
ing,—  not  satisfied,  probably,  that  he  had  hit  upon  the 
true  solution,  —  when  suddenly  his  eye  brightened,  his  lips 
curled,  and  fixing  a  look  upon  the  angry  Frenchman,  he 
said :  "  Maybe  ye  are  right  enow,  —  he  heard  them  ower 
muckle  in  Waterloo  to  like  the  skirl  o'  them  ever  since ; " 
with  which  satisfactory  explanation,  made  in  no  spirit  of 
bitterness  or  raillery,  but  in  the  simple  belief  that  he  had 
hit  the  mark  of  the  vicomte's  antipathy,  the  old  man 
gathered  up  his  plaid  and  departed. 

However  disposed  I  might  have  felt  towards  sleep,  the 
little  German  resolved  I  should  not  obtain  any ;  for  when, 
half  an  hour  together,  I  would  preserve  a  rigid  silence,  he, 
nowise  daunted,  had  recourse  to  some  German  Lied,  which 
he  gave  forth  with  an  energy  of  voice  and  manner  that 
must  have  aroused  every  sleeper  in  the  diligence  ;  so  that, 
fain  to  avoid  this,  I  did  my  best  to  keep  him  on  the  subject 
of  his  adventures,  which,  as  a  man  of  successful  gallantry, 

VOL.  II.  — 12 


178  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

were  manifold  indeed.  Wearying,  at  last,  even  of  this 
subordinate  part,  I  fell  into  a  kind  of  half-doze,  the  words 
of  a  student-song  he  continued  to  sing  without  ceasing  for 
above  an  hour  being  the  last  waking  thought  on  my 
memory. 

Less  as  a  souvenir  of  the  singer  than  a  specimen  of  its 
class,  I  give  here  a  rough  translation  of  the  well-known 
Burschen  melody  called  — 


THE  POPE. 

i. 

The  Pope  he  leads  a  happy  life,  — 
He  fears  not  married  care  nor  strife  ; 
He  drinks  the  best  of  Rhenish  wine  : 
I  would  the  Pope's  gay  lot  were  mine  ! 

CHORUS. 

He  drinks  the  best  of  Rhenish  wine  : 
I  would  the  Pope's  gay  lot  were  mine. 

II. 

But  then  all  happy  's  not  his  life,  — 
He  has  not  maid,  nor  blooming  wife, 
Nor  child  has  he  to  raise  his  hope  : 
I  would  not  wish  to  be  the  Pope. 

in. 

The  Sultan  better  pleases  me,  — 

His  is  a  life  of  jollity  ; 

His  wives  are  many  as  he  will  : 

I  would  the  Sultan's  throne  then  fill. 

IV. 

But  even  he 's  a  wretched  man,  — 
He  must  obey  his  Alcoran, 
And  dares  not  drink  one  drop  of  wine : 
I  would  not  change  his  lot  for  mine. 


THE  JOUKNEY.  179 


V. 


So  then  I  '11  hold  my  lowly  stand, 
And  live  in  German  Vaterland  ; 
I  '11  kiss  my  maiden  fair  and  fine, 
And  drink  the  best  of  Rhenish  wine. 


VI. 


Whene'er  my  maiden  kisses  me, 
I  '11  think  that  I  the  Sultan  be  ; 
And  when  my  cheery  glass  I  tope, 
I  '11  fancy  then  I  am  the  Pope. 


CHAPTEK  XX. 

THE  JOURNEY. 

It  was  with  a  feeling  of  pleasure  I  cannot  explain  that 
I  awoke  in  the  morning  and  found  myself  upon  the  road. 
The  turmoil,  the  bustle,  the  never-ending  difficulties  of  my 
late  life  in  Paris  had  so  over-excited  and  worried  me  that  I 
could  neither  think  nor  reflect.  Now,  all  these  cares  and 
troubles  were  behind  me,  and  I  felt  like  a  liberated  prisoner 
as  I  looked  upon  the  gray  dawn  of  the  coming  day  as  it 
gradually  melted  from  its  dull  and  leaden  tint  to  the  pink 
and  yellow  hue  of  the  rising  sun.  The  broad  and  richly 
colored  plains  of  la  belle  France  were  before  me,  —  and  it  is 
la  belle  France,  however  inferior  to  parts  of  England  in 
rural  beauty,  —  the  large  tracts  of  waving  yellow  corn, 
undulating  like  a  sea  in  the  morning  breeze,  the  intermina- 
ble reaches  of  forest,  upon  which  the  shadows  played  and 
flitted,  deepening  the  effect  and  mellowing  the  mass  as  we 
see  them  in  Ruysdael's  pictures,  while  now  and  then  some 
tall-gabled,  antiquated  chateau,  with  its  mutilated  terrace 
and  dowager-like  air  of  bygone  grandeur,  would  peep  forth 
at  the  end  of  some  long  avenue  of  lime-trees,  all  having 
their  own  features  of  beauty,  and  a  beauty  with  which  every 
object  around  harmonizes  well.  The  sluggish  peasant,  in 
his  blouse  and  striped  nightcap  ;  the  heavily  caparisoned 
horse,  shaking  his  head  amidst  a  Babel-tower  of  gaudy 
worsted  tassels  and  brass  bells  j  the  deeply  laden  wagon 
creeping  slowly  along,  —  are  all  in  keeping  with  a  scene 
where  the  very  mist  that  rises  from  the  valley  seems  indo- 
lent and  lazy,  and  unwilling  to  impart  the  rich  perfume  of 
verdure  with  which  it  is  loaded.  Every  land  has  its  own 
peculiar  character  of  beauty.     The  glaciered  mountain,  the 


THE  JOURNEY.  181 

Alpine  peak,  the  dashing  cataracts  of  Switzerland  and  the 
Tyrol,  are  not  finer  in  their  way  than  the  long,  fiat  moor- 
lands of  a  Flemish  landscape,  with  its  clump  of  stunted 
willows  clustering  over  some  limpid  brook,  in  which  the 
oxen  are  standing  for  shelter  from  the  noon-day  heat,  while, 
lower  down,  some  rude  water-wheel  is  mingling  its  sounds 
with  the  summer  bees  and  the  merry  voices  of  the  miller 
and  his  companions. 

So  strayed  my  thoughts  as  the  German  shook  me  by  the 
arm,  and  asked  if  I  were  not  ready  for  my  breakfast  ? 
Luckily,  to  this  question  there  is  rarely  but  the  one  answer. 
Who  is  not  ready  for  his  breakfast  when  on  the  road? 
How  delightful,  if  on  the  Continent,  to  escape  from  the 
narrow  limits  of  the  dungeon-like  diligence,  where  you  sit 
with  your  knees  next  your  collar-bone,  fainting  with  heat 
and  suffocated  by  dust,  and  to  find  yourself  suddenly  beside 
the  tempting  plats  of  a  little  French  dejeuner,  with  its 
cutlets,  its  fried  fish,  its  poulet,  its  salads,  and  its  little 
entree  of  fruit,  tempered  with  a  not  despicable  bottle  of 
Beaune.  If  in  England,  the  exchange  is  nearly  as  grateful ; 
for  though  our  travelling  be  better,  and  our  position  less 
irksome,  still  it  is  no  small  alteration  from  the  stage-coach 
to  the  inn  parlor,  redolent  of  aromatic  black  tea,  eggs,  and 
hot  toast,  with  a  hospitable  sideboard  of  lordly  sirloins 
and  York  hams  that  would  make  a  Jew's  mouth  water. 
While  in  America  the  change  is  greatest  of  all,  as  any  one 
can  vouch  for  who  has  been  suddenly  emancipated  from 
the  stove-heat  of  a  "nine-inside"  leathern  " conveniency," 
bumping  ten  miles  an  hour  over  a  corduroy  road,  the 
company  smoking,  if  not  worse,  to  the  ample  display  of 
luxurious  -viands  displayed  upon  the  breakfast-table,  where, 
what  with  buffalo  steaks,  pumpkin  pie,  "  chicken  fixings," 
and  other  aristocratically  called  temptations,  he  must  be 
indeed  fastidious  who  cannot  employ  his  half-hour.  Pity 
it  is,  when  there  is  so  much  good  to  eat,  that  people  will 
not  partake  of  it  like  civilized  beings  and  with  that  air  of 
cheerful  thankfulness  that  all  other  nations  more  or  less 
express  when  enjoying  the  earth's  bounties.     But  true  it  is 


182  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

that  there  is  a  spirit  of  discontent  in  the  Yankee  that  seems 
to  accept  of  benefits  with  a  tone  of  dissatisfaction,  if  not 
distrust.  I  once  made  this  remark  to  an  excellent  friend  of 
mine,  now  no  more,  who,  however,  would  not  permit  of  my 
attributing  this  feature  to  the  Americans  exclusively, 
adding,  "  Where  have  you  more  of  this  than  in  Ireland  ? 
And  surely  you  would  not  call  the  Irish  ungrateful  ? " 
He  illustrated  his  first  remark  by  the  following  short 
anecdote  :  — 

The  rector  of  the  parish  my  friend  lived  in  was  a  man 
who  added  to  the  income  he  derived  from  his  living  a  very 
handsome  private  fortune,  which  he  devoted  entirely  to  the 
benefit  of  the  poor  around  him.  Among  the  objects  of  his 
bounty  one  old  woman  —  a  childless  widow  —  was  remarka- 
bly distinguished.  Whether  commiserating  her  utter  help- 
lessness or  her  complete  isolation,  he  went  farther  to 
relieve  her  than  to  many,  if  not  all,  the  other  poor.  She 
frequently  was  in  the  habit  of  pleading  her  poverty  as  a 
reason  for  not  appearing  in  church  among  her  neighbors  ; 
and  he  gladly  seized  an  opportunity  of  so  improving  her 
condition  that  on  this  score,  at  least,  no  impediment  existed. 
When  all  his  little  plans  for  her  comfort  had  been  carried 
into  execution,  he  took  the  opportunity  one  day  of  drop- 
ping in,  as  if  accidentally,  to  speak  to  her.  By  degrees  he 
led  the  subject  to  her  changed  condition  in  life,  —  the  altera- 
tion from  a  cold,  damp,  smoky  hovel  to  a  warm,  clean,  slated 
house ;  the  cheerful  garden  before  the  door  that  replaced 
the  mud-heap  and  the  duck-pool ;  and  all  the  other  happy 
changes  which  a  few  weeks  had  effected.  And  he  then 
asked,  did  she  not  feel  grateful  to  a  bountiful  Providence 
that  had  showered  down  so  many  blessings  upon  her  head  ? 

"  Ah,  troth  !  it 's  thrue  for  yer  honor,  I  am  grateful,"  she 
replied,  in  a  whining,  discordant  tone,  which  astonished  the 
worthy  parson. 

"  Of  course  you  are,  my  good  woman,  of  course  you  are ; 
but  I  mean  to  say,  don't  you  feel  that  every  moment  you 
live  is  too  short  to  express  your  thankfulness  to  this  kind 
Providence  for  what  he  has  done  ?  " 


THE  JOURNEY.  183 

"Ah,  darlin'!  it's  all  thrue;  he's  very  good,  he's 
mighty  kind,  so  he  is." 

"  Why,  then,  not  acknowledge  it  in  a  different  manner  ?  " 
said  the  parson,  with  some  heat.  "  Has  he  not  housed  you 
and  fed  you  and  clothed  you  ?  " 

"  Yes,  alanah,  he  done  it  all." 

"  Well,  where  is  your  gratitude  for  all  those  mercies  ?  " 

"Ah!  sure,  if  he  did,"  said  the  old  crone,  roused  at 
length  by  the  importunity  of  the  questioner,  —  "sure,  if 
he  did,  does  n't  he  take  it  out  o'  me  in  the  corns  ?  " 


CHAPTER  XXI. 

A    REMINISCENCE    OF   THE   EAST. 

The  breakfast-table  assembled  around  it  the  three  genera- 
tions of  men  who  issued  from  the  three  subdivisions  of  the 
diligence,  and  presented  that  motley  and  mixed  assemblage 
of  ranks,  ages,  and  countries  which  forms  so  very  amusing 
a  part  of  a  traveller's  experience. 

First  came  the  haute  aristocratie  of  the  coupe,  then  the 
middle  class  of  the  interieur,  and  lastly,  the  tiers  etat  of  the 
rotonde,  with  its  melange  of  Jew  money-lenders,  under- 
officers  and  their  wives,  a  Norman  nurse  with  a  high  cap 
and  a  red  jupe  ;  while,  to  close  the  procession,  a  German 
student  descended  from  the  roof,  with  a  beard,  a  blouse,  and 
a  meerschaum.  Of  such  materials  was  our  party  made  up ; 
and  yet,  differing  in  all  our  objects  and  interests,  we 
speedily  amalgamated  into  a  very  social  state  of  intimacy, 
and  chatted  away  over  our  breakfast  with  much  good  hu- 
mor and  gayety,  each  person  of  the  number  seeming 
pleased  at  the  momentary  opportunity  of  finding  a  new 
listener,  save  my  tall  companion  of  the  coupe.  He  pre- 
served a  dogged  silence,  unbroken  by  even  a  chance  expres- 
sion to  the  waiter,  who  observed  his  wants  and  supplied 
them  by  a  species  of  quick  instinct  evidently  acquired  by 
practice.  As  I  could  not  help  feeling  somewhat  interested 
about  the  hermit-like  attachment  he  evinced  for  solitude,  I 
watched  him  narrowly  for  some  time,  and  at  length,  as  the 
rati  made  its  appearance  before  him,  after  he  had  helped 
himself  and  tasted  it,  he  caught  my  eye  fixed  upon  him, 
and  looking  at  me  intently  for  a  few  seconds,  he  seemed  to 
be  satisfied  in  some  passing  doubt  he  labored  under,  as  he 
said,  with  a  most  peculiar  shake  of  the  head :  "  No  mangez, 
no  mangez  cela" 


A  REMINISCENCE  OF  THE  EAST.  185 

"  Ah !  "  said  I,  detecting  in  my  friend's  French  his  Eng- 
lish origin,  "  you  are  an  Englishman,  I  find." 

"  The  devil  a  doubt  of  it,  darling,"  said  he  half  testily. 

"  An  Irishman  too,  —  still  better,"  said  I. 

"  Why,  then,  is  n't  it  strange  that  my  French  always 
show  me  to  be  English,  and  my  English  proves  me  Irish  ? 
It 's  lucky  for  me  there 's  no  going  farther,  anyhow." 

Delighted  to  have  thus  fallen  upon  a  "  character,"  as  the 
Irishman  evidently  appeared,  I  moved  my  chair  towards 
his  ;  finding,  however,  he  was  not  half  pleased  at  the  man- 
ner in  which  my  acquaintance  had  been  made  with  him, 
and  knowing  his  country's  susceptibility  of  being  taken  by 
a  story,  I  resolved  to  make  my  advances  by  narrating  a  cir- 
cumstance which  had  once  befallen  me  in  my  early  life. 

Our  countrymen,  English  and  Irish,  travel  so  much  now- 
adays that  one  ought  never  to  feel  surprised  at  finding  them 
anywhere.  The  instance  I  am  about  to  relate  will  verify  to 
a  certain  extent  the  fact,  by  showing  that  no  situation  is  too 
odd  or  too  unlikely  to  be  within  the  verge  of  calculation. 

When  the  10th  Foot,  to  which  I  then  belonged,  were  at 
Corfu,  I  obtained,  with  three  other  officers,  a  short  leave  of 
absence  to  make  a  hurried  tour  of  the  Morea  and  take  a 
passing  glance  at  Constantinople,  —  in  those  days  much  less 
frequently  visited  by  travellers  than  at  present. 

After  rambling  pleasantly  about  for  some  weeks,  we  were 
about  to  return,  when  we  determined  that  before  sailing  we 
would  accept  an  invitation  some  officers  of  the  "  Blazer  " 
frigate,  then  stationed  here,  had  given  us  to  pass  a  day  at 
Pera  and  picnic  on  the  mountain. 

One  fine  bright  morning  was  therefore  selected,  a  most 
appetizing  little  dinner  being  carefully  packed  up,  and  we 
set  out,  a  party  of  fourteen,  upon  our  excursion. 

The  weather  was  glorious,  and  the  scene  far  finer  than 
any  of  us  had  anticipated,  —  the  view  from  the  mountain 
extending  over  the  entire  city,  gorgeous  in  the  rich  coloring 
of  its  domes  and  minarets ;  while  at  one  side  the  Golden 
Horn  was  visible,  crowded  with  ships  of  every  nation,  and 
at  the  other  a  glimpse  might  be  had  of  the  Sea  of  Marmara, 


186  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

blue  and  tranquil  as  it  lay  beneath.  The  broad  bosom  of  the 
Bosporus  was  sheeted  out  like  a  map  before  us,  —  peace- 
ful, yet  bustling  with  life  and  animation.  Here  lay  the 
Union-Jack  of  Old  England,  floating  beside  the  lilies  of 
France  (we  speak  of  times  when  lilies  were,  and  barricades 
were  not),  the  tall  and  taper  spars  of  a  Yankee  frigate 
towering  above  the  low  timbers  and  heavy  hull  of  a  Dutch 
schooner,  the  gilded  poop  and  carved  galleries  of  a  Turkish 
three-decker  anchored  beside  the  raking  mast  and  curved 
deck  of  a  suspicious-looking  craft,  whose  red-capped,  dark- 
visaged  crew  needed  not  the  naked  creese  at  their  sides  to 
bespeak  them  Malays.  The  whole  was  redolent  of  life,  and 
teemiug  with  food  for  one's  fancy  to  conjure  from. 

While  we  were  debating  upon  the  choice  of  a  spot  for 
our  luncheon  which  should  command  the  chief  points  of 
view  within  our  reach,  one  of  the  party  came  to  inform  us 
that  he  had  just  discovered  the  very  thing  we  were  in 
search  of.  It  was  a  small  kiosk,  built  upon  a  projecting 
rock  that  looked  down  upon  the  Bosporus  and  the  city, 
and  had  evidently,  from  the  extended  views  it  presented, 
been  selected  as  the  spot  to  build  upon.  The  building  itself 
was  a  small  octagon,  open  on  every  side,  and  presenting  a 
series  of  prospects,  land  and  seaward,  of  the  most  varied 
and  magnificent  kind. 

Seeing  no  one  near,  nor  any  trace  of  habitation,  we  re- 
solved to  avail  ourselves  of  the  good  taste  of  the  founder ; 
and  spreading  out  the  contents  of  our  hampers,  proceeded 
to  discuss  a  most  excellent  cold  dinner.  When  the  good 
things  had  disappeared,  and  the  wine  begun  to  circulate, 
one  of  the  party  observed  that  we  should  not  think  of  en- 
joying ourselves  before  we  had  filled  a  bumper  to  the  brim 
to  the  health  of  our  good  king,  whose  birthday  it  chanced 
to  be.  Our  homeward  thoughts  and  loyalty  uniting,  we 
filled  our  glasses  and  gave  so  hearty  a  "hip,  hip,  hurrah" 
to  our  toast  that  I  doubt  if  the  echoes  of  those  old  rocks 
ever  heard  the  equal  of  it. 

Scarcely  was  the  last  cheer  dying  away  in  the  distance, 
when  the  door  of  the  kiosk  opened,  and  a  negro,  dressed  in 


A  REMINISCENCE  OF  THE  EAST.  187 

white  muslin,  appeared,  his  arms  and  ankles  bearing  those 
huge  rings  of  massive  gold  which  only  persons  of  rank  dis- 
tinguish their  servants  by. 

After  a  most  profound  obeisance  to  the  party,  he  ex- 
plained, in  very  tolerable  French,  that  his  master,  the 
Effendi  Ben  Mustapha  Al  Halak,  at  whose  charge  (in  house- 
rent)  we  were  then  feasting,  sent  us  greeting,  and  begged 
that  if  not  considered  as  contrary  to  our  usage,  etc.,  we 
should  permit  him  and  his  suite  to  approach  the  kiosk  and 
observe  us  at  our  meal. 

Independent  of  his  politeness  in  the  mode  of  conveying 
the  request,  as  he  would  prove  fully  as  entertaining  a  sight 
to  us  as  we  could  possibly  be  to  him,  we  immediately 
expressed  our  great  willingness  to  receive  his  visit,  coupled 
with  a  half-hint  that  perhaps  he  might  honor  us  by  joining 
the  party. 

After  a  half-hour's  delay  the  door  was  once  more  thrown 
open,  and  a  venerable  old  Turk  entered.  He  salaamed 
three  times  most  reverently,  and  motioned  to  us  to  be 
seated,  declining  at  the  same  time,  by  a  gentle  gesture  of 
his  hand,  our  invitation.  He  was  followed  by  a  train  of 
six  persons,  all  splendidly  attired,  and  attesting,  by  their 
costume  and  manner,  the  rank  and  importance  of  their 
chief.  Conceiving  that  his  visit  had  but  one  object,  —  to 
observe  our  convivial  cu  oms,  —  we  immediately  re-seated 
ourselves  and  filled  our  \   asses. 

As  one  after  another  i  ae  officers  of  the  Effendi's  house- 
hold passed  round  the  apartments,  we  offered  them  a  goblet 
of  champagne,  which  they  severally  declined  with  a  polite 
but  solemn  smile,  —  all  except  one,  a  large,  savage-looking 
Turk,  with  a  most  ferocious  scowl  and  the  largest  black 
beard  I  ever  beheld.  He  did  not  content  himself  with  a 
mute  refusal  of  our  offer,  but  stopping  suddenly,  he  raised 
up  his  hands  above  his  head  and  muttered  some  words  in 
Turkish,  which  one  of  the  party  informed  us  was  a  very 
satisfactory  recommendation  of  the  whole  company  to  Satan 
for  their  heretic  abomination. 

The  procession  moved  slowly  round  the  room,  and  when 


188  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

it  reached  the  door  again,  retired,  each  member  of  it 
salaaming  three  times  as  he  had  done  on  entering.  Scarcely 
had  they  gone,  when  we  burst  into  a  loud  fit  of  laughter  at 
the  savage-looking  fellow  who  thought  proper  to  excommu- 
nicate us,  and  were  about  to  discuss  his  more  than  common 
appearance  of  disgust  at  our  proceedings,  when  again  the 
door  opened,  and  a  turbaned  head  peeped  in ;  but  so  altered 
were  the  features  that  although  seen  but  the  moment  before, 
we  could  hardly  believe  them  the  same.  The  dark  com- 
plexion, the  long  and  bushy  beard  were  there ;  but  instead 
of  the  sleepy  and  solemn  character  of  the  Oriental,  with 
heavy  eye  and  closed  lip,  there  was  a  droll  half-devilry  in 
the  look  and  partly  open  mouth  that  made  a  most  laughable 
contrast  with  the  head-dress.  He  looked  stealthily  around 
him  for  an  instant,  as  if  to  see  that  all  was  right,  and  then, 
with  an  accent  and  expression  I  shall  never  forget,  said, 
"  I'll  taste  your  wine,  gentlemen,  av  it  be  pleasing  to  ye." 


CHAPTER  XXII. 


A    DAY    IN    THE   PHCENIX. 


When  we  were  once  more  in  the  coupe  of  the  diligence, 
I  directed  my  entire  attention  towards  my  Irish  acquain- 
tance, as  well  because  of  his  apparent  singularity,  as  to 
avoid  the  little  German  in  the  opposite  corner. 

"You  have  not  been  long  in  France,  then,  sir,"  said  I,  as 
we  resumed  our  conversation. 

"  Three  weeks ;  and  it  seems  like  three  years  to  me,  — 
nothing  to  eat,  nothing  to  drink,  and  nobody  to  speak  to. 
But  I  '11  go  back  soon ;  I  only  came  abroad  for  a  month." 

"  You  '11  scarcely  see  much  of  the  Continent  in  so  short  a 
time." 

"  Devil  a  much  that  will  grieve  me  ;  I  did  n't  come  to  see 
it." 

"Indeed!" 

"  Nothing  of  the  kind ;  I  only  came  —  to  be  away  from 
home." 

"  Oh  !  I  perceive." 

"  You  're  quite  out  there,"  said  my  companion,  misinter- 
preting my  meaning.  "  It  was  n't  anything  of  that  kind. 
I  don't  owe  sixpence.  I  was  laughed  out  of  Ireland,  — 
that 's  all ;  though  that  same  is  bad  enough." 

"  Laughed  out  of  it  ?  " 

"  Just  so ;  and  little  you  know  of  Ireland  if  that  surprises 
you." 

After  acknowledging  that  such  an  event  was  perfectly 
possible,  from  what  I  myself  had  seen  of  that  country, 
I  obtained  the  following  very  brief  account  of  my  com- 
panion's reasons  for  foreign  travel. 


190  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  Well,  sir,"  began  he,  "  it  is  about  four  months  since  I 
brought  up  to  Dublin  from  Galway  a  little  chestnut  mare, 
with  cropped  ears  and  a  short  tail,  square-jointed,  and 
rather  low,  — just  what  you'd  call  a  smart  hack  for  going 
to  cover  with ;  a  lively  thing  on  the  road  with  a  light 
weight.  Nobody  ever  suspected  that  she  was  a  clean-bred 
thing, —  own  sister  to  Jenny,  that  won  the  Corinthians,  and 
ran  second  to  Giles  for  the  Riddlesworth ;  but  so  she  was, 
and  a  better-bred  mare  never  leaped  the  pound  in  Ballin- 
asloe.  Well,  I  brought  her  to  Dublin,  and  used  to  ride  her 
out  two  or  three  times  a  week,  making  little  matches  some- 
times to  trot,  —  and  for  a  thoroughbred  she  was  a  clipper 
at  trotting,  —  to  trot  a  mile  or  so  on  the  grass  ;  another  day 
to  gallop  the  length  of  the  Nine  Acres  opposite  the  Lodge ; 
and  then  sometimes  back  her  for  a  ten-pound  note  to  jump 
the  biggest  furze-bush  that  could  be  found,  —  all  of  which 
she  could  do  with  ease,  nobody  thinking,  all  the  while,  that 
the  cock-tailed  pony  was  by  Scroggins,  out  of  a  'Lamp- 
lighter mare.'  As  every  fellow  that  was  beat  to-day  was 
sure  to  come  back  to-morrow  with  something  better,  either 
of  his  own  or  a  friend's,  I  had  matches  booked  for  every 
day  in  the  week ;  for  I  always  made  my  little  boy,  that 
rode,  win  by  half  a  neck  or  a  nostril,  and  so  we  kept  on 
day  after  day  rjocketing  from  ten  to  thirty  pounds  or 
thereabouts.  It  was  mighty  pleasant  while  it  lasted,  for 
besides  winning  the  money,  I  had  my  own  fun  laughing  at 
the  spoonies  that  never  could  book  my  bets  fast  enough,  — 
young  infantry  officers  and  the  Junior  Bar  ;  they  were  for 
the  most  part  mighty  nice  to  look  at,  but  very  raw  about 
racing.  How  long  I  might  have  gone  on  in  this  way,  I 
cannot  say ;  but  one  morning  I  fell  in  with  a  fat,  elderly 
gentleman  in  shorts  and  gaiters,  mounted  on  a  dun  cob 
pony  that  was  very  fidgety  and  hot-tempered,  and  appeared 
to  give  the  rider  a  great  deal  of  uneasiness. 

"  '  He  's  a  spicy  hack  you  're  on,  sir,'  said  I,  { and  has  a 
go  in  him,  I  '11  be  bound.' 

" '  I  rayther  think  he  has,'  said  the  old  gentleman,  half 
testily. 


A  DAY  IN  THE  PHCENIX.  191 

u  l  And  can  trot  a  bit  too  ?  ' 

"  •  Twelve  Irish  miles  in  fifty  minutes,  with  my  weight. 
Here  he  looked  down  at  a  paunch  like  a  sugar  hogshead. 

"  '  Maybe  he  's  not  bad  across  a  country/  said  I,  rather  to 
humor  the  old  fellow,  who,  I  saw,  was  proud  of  his  pony. 

" '  I  'd  like  to  see  his  match,  that 's  all.'  Here  he  gave  a 
rather  contemptuous  glance  at  my  hack. 

11  Well,  one  word  led  to  another,  and  it  ended  at  last  in 
our  booking  a  match,  with  which  one  party  was  no  less 
pleased  than  the  other.  It  was  this  :  each  was  to  ride  his 
own  horse,  starting  from  the  school  in  the  Park,  round  the 
Fifteen  Acres,  outside  the  Monument,  and  back  to  the  start, 
—  just  one  heat,  about  a  mile  and  a  half;  the  ground  good, 
and  only  soft  enough.  In  consideration,  however,  of  his 
greater  weight,  I  was  to  give  odds,  in  the  start ;  and  as  we 
could  not  well  agree  on  how  much,  it  was  at  length  decided 
that  he  was  to  get  away  first,  and  I  to  follow  as  fast  as  I 
could,  after  drinking  a  pewter  quart  full  of  Guinness's 
double  stout,  —  droll  odds,  you  '11  say ;  but  it  was  the  old 
fellow's  own  thought,  and  as  the  match  was  a  soft  one,  I  let 
him  have  his  way. 

"  The  next  morning  the  Phoenix  was  crowded  as  if  for  a 
review.  There  were  all  the  Dublin  notorieties  swarming  in 
barouches  and  tilburies  and  outside  jaunting-cars ;  smart 
clerks  in  the  Post-office,  mounted  upon  kicking  devils  from 
Dycer's  and  Lalouette's  stables ;  attorneys'  wives  and 
daughters  from  York  Street ;  and  a  stray  doctor  or  so  on  a 
hack  that  looked  as  if  it  had  been  lectured  on  for  the  six 
winter  months  at  the  College  of  Surgeons.  My  antagonist 
was  half  an  hour  late,  which  time  I  occupied  in  booking 
bets  on  every  side  of  me,  —  offering  odds  of  ten,  fifteen,  and 
at  last,  to  tempt  the  people,  twenty-five  to  one  against  the 
dun.  At  last  the  fat  gentleman  came  up  on  a  jaunting-car, 
followed  by  a  groom  leading  the  cob.  I  wish  you  had  heard 
the  cheer  that  greeted  him  on  his  arrival,  for  it  appeared  he 
was  a  well-known  character  in  town,  and  much  in  favor 
with  the  mob.  When  he  got  off  the  car  he  bundled  into  a 
tent,  followed  by  a  few  of  his  friends,  where  they  remained 


192  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

for  about  five  minutes,  at  the  end  of  which  he  came  out  in 
full  racing  costume,  —  blue  and  yellow-striped  jacket,  blue 
cap,  and  leathers,  —  looking  as  funny  a  figure  as  ever  you 
set  eyes  upon.  I  now  thought  it  time  to  throAV  off  my 
white  surtout  and  show  out  in  pink-and-orange,  —  the 
colors  I  had  been  winning  in  for  two  months  past.  While 
some  of  the  party  were  sent  on  to  station  themselves  at 
different  places  round  the  Fifteen  Acres,  to  mark  out  the 
course,  my  fat  friend  was  assisted  into  his  saddle,  and  gave 
a  short  preliminary  gallop  of  a  hundred  yards  or  so  that  set 
us  all  a  laughing.  The  odds  were  now  fifty  to  one  in  my 
favor,  and  I  gave  them  wherever  I  could  find  takers. 
'  "With  you,  sir,  if  you  please,  in  pounds,  and  the  gentleman 
in  the  red  whiskers  too,  if  he  likes,  —  very  well,  in  half- 
sovereigns,  if  you  prefer  it.'  So  I  went  on,  betting  on 
every  side,  till  the  bell  rang  to  mount.  As  I  knew  I  had 
plenty  of  time  to  spare,  I  took  little  notice,  and  merely 
giving  a  look  to  my  girths,  I  continued  leisurely  booking 
my  bets.  At  last  the  time  came,  and  at  the  word  '  Away ! ' 
off  went  the  fat  gentleman  on  the  dun  at  a  spluttering 
gallop  that  flung  the  mud  on  every  side  of  us,  and  once 
more  threw  us  all  a  laughing.  I  waited  patiently  till  he 
got  near  the  upper  end  of  the  park,  taking  bets  every 
minute;  now  that  he  was  away,  every  one  offered  to  wager. 
At  last,  when  I  had  let  him  get  nearly  half  round,  and 
found  no  more  money  could  be  had,  I  called  out  to  his 
friends  for  the  porter,  and  throwing  myself  into  the  saddle, 
gathered  up  the  reins  in  my  hand.  The  crowd  fell  back  on 
each  side,  while  from  the  tent  I  have  already  mentioned, 
out  came  a  thin  fellow  with  one  eye,  with  a  pewter  quart 
in  his  hand.  He  lifted  it  up  towards  me,  and  I  took  it ; 
but  what  was  my  fright  to  find  that  the  porter  was  boiling, 
and  the  vessel  so  hot  I  could  barely  hold  it.  I  endeavored 
to  drink,  however  ;  the  first  mouthful  took  all  the  skin  off 
my  lips  and  tongue,  the  second  half  choked,  and  the  third 
nearly  threw  me  into  an  apoplectic  fit,  the  mob  cheering  all 
the  time  like  devils.  Meantime  the  old  fellow  had  reached 
the  furze,  and  was  going  along  like  fun.     Again  I  tried  the 


A  DAY   IN   THE   PHCENIX.  193 

porter,  and  a  fit  of  coughing  came  on  which  lasted  five 
minutes.  The  pewter  was  so  hot  that  the  edge  of  the 
quart  took  away  a  piece  of  my  mouth  at  every  effort.  I 
ventured  once  more,  and  with  the  desperation  of  a  madman 
I  threw  down  the  hot  liquid  to  its  last  drop.  My  head 
reeled,  my  eyes  glared,  and  my  brain  was  on  fire.  I 
thought  I  beheld  fifty  fat  gentlemen  riding  on  every  side  of 
me,  and  all  the  sky  raining  jackets  in  blue  and  yellow. 
Half  mechanically  I  took  the  reins  and  put  spurs  to  my 
horse  ;  but  before  I  got  well  away,  a  loud  cheer  from  the 
crowd  assailed  me.  I  turned,  and  saw  the  dun  coming  in 
at  a  floundering  gallop,  covered  with  foam,  and  so  dead 
blown  that  neither  himself  nor  the  rider  could  have  got 
twenty  yards  farther.  The  race  was,  however,  won.  My 
odds  were  lost  to  every  man  on  the  field,  and,  worse  than 
all,  I  was  so  laughed  at  that  I  could  not  venture  out  in  the 
streets  without  hearing  allusions  to  my  misfortune ;  for  a 
certain  friend  of  mine,  one  Tom  O'Flaherty  —  " 

"  Tom,  of  the  11th  Light  Dragoons  ?  " 

"  The  same  ;  you  know  Tom,  then  ?  Maybe  you  have 
heard  him  mention  me,  —  Maurice  Malone  ?  " 

"Not  Mr.  Malone,  of  Fort  Peak  ?  " 

"  Bad  luck  to  him !  I  am  as  well  known  in  connection 
with  Fort  Peak  as  the  Duke  is  with  Waterloo.  There  is 
not  a  part  of  the  globe  where  he  has  not  told  that  con- 
founded story ! " 

As  my  readers  may  not  possibly  be  all  numbered  in  Mr. 
O'Flaherty's  acquaintance,  I  shall  venture  to  give  the 
anecdote  which  Mr.  Malone  accounted  to  be  so  widely 
circulated. 


VOL.  II. — 13 


CHAPTER  XXIII. 

AN    ADVENTURE   IN    CANADA. 

Towards  the  close  of  the  last  war  with  America  a  small 
detachment  of  military  occupied  the  little  block-house  of 
Fort  Peak,  which,  about  eight  miles  from  the  Falls  of  Ni- 
agara, formed  the  last  outpost  on  the  frontier,  The  fort,  in 
itself  inconsiderable,  was  only  of  importance  as  command- 
ing a  part  of  the  river  where  it  was  practicable  to  ford,  and 
where  the  easy  ascent  of  the  bank  offered  a  safe  situation 
for  the  enemy  to  cross  over  whenever  they  felt  disposed  to 
carry  the  war  into  our  territory. 

There  having  been,  however,  no  threat  of  invasion  in  this 
quarter,  and  the  natural  strength  of  the  position  being  con- 
siderable, a  mere  handful  of  men,  with  two  subaltern  of- 
ficers, were  allotted  for  this  duty,  —  such  being  conceived 
ample  to  maintain  it  till  the  arrival  of  succor  from  head- 
quarters, then  at  Little  York,  on  the  opposite  side  of  the 
lake.  The  officers  of  this  party  were  our  old  acquaintance 
Tom  O'Flaherty  and  our  newly  made  one,  Maurice  Malone. 

Whatever  may  be  the  merits  of  commanding  officers,  one 
virtue  they  certainly  can  lay  small  claim  to  ;  namely,  any 
insight  into  character,  or  at  least  any  regard  for  the  knowl- 
edge. Seldom  are  two  men  sent  off  on  detachment  duty  to 
some  remote  quarter,  to  associate  daily  and  hourly  for 
months  together,  that  they  are  not,  by  some  happy  chance, 
the  very  people  who  never,  as  the  phrase  is,  "took  to  each 
other"  in  their  lives.  The  gray-headed,  weather-beaten, 
disappointed  "  Peninsular  "  is  coupled  with  the  essenced  and 
dandified  Adonis  of  the  corps ;  the  man  of  literary  tastes 
and  cultivated  pursuits  with  the  empty-headed,  ill-formed 
youth  fresh  from  Harrow  or  Westminster.  This  case  of- 
fered no  exception  to  the  rule  ;  for  though  there  were  few 


AN  ADVENTURE  IN  CANADA.         1U5 

men  possessed  of  more  assimilating  powers  than  O'Flaherty, 
yet  certainly  his  companion  did  put  the  faculty  to  the  test, 
for  anything  more  unlike  him  there  never  existed.  Tom, 
all  good-humor  and  high  spirits,  making  the  best  of  every- 
thing, never  nonplussed,  never  taken  aback,  perfectly  at 
home,  whether  flirting  with  a  Lady  Charlotte  in  her  draw- 
ing-room, or  crossing  a  grouse-mountain  in  the  Highlands, 
sufficiently  well  read  to  talk  on  any  ordinary  topic,  and 
always  ready-witted  enough  to  seem  more  so ;  a  thorough 
sportsman,  whether  showing  forth  in  his  "  pink  "  at  Melton, 
whipping  a  trout-stream  in  Wales,  or  filling  a  country-house 
with  black-cock  and  moor-fowl ;  an  unexceptionable  judge  of 
all  the  good  things  in  life,  from  a  pretty  ankle  to  a  well-hung 
tilbury,  —  from  the  odds  at  hazard  to  the  "  Comet  vintage." 
Such,  in  brief,  was  Tom.  Now,  his  confrere  was  none  of 
these  ;  he  had  been  drafted  from  the  Galway  militia  to  the 
line  for  some  election  services  rendered  by  his  family  to 
the  Government  candidate ;  was  of  a  saturnine  and  discon- 
tented habit,  always  miserable  about  some  trifle  or  other, 
and  never  at  rest  till  he  had  drowned  his  sorrows  in  Ja- 
maica rum,  which,  since  the  regiment  was  abroad,  he  had 
copiously  used  as  a  substitute  for  whiskey.  To  such  an  ex- 
tent had  this  passion  gained  upon  him  that  a  corporal's 
guard  was  always  in  attendance  whenever  he  dined  out,  to 
convey  him  home  to  the  barracks. 

The  wearisome  monotony  of  a  close  garrison,  with  so  un- 
genial  a  companion,  would  have  damped  any  man's  spirits 
but  O'Flaherty's.  He,  however,  upon  this,  as  other  occa- 
sions in  life,  rallied  himself  to  make  the  best  of  it ;  and  by 
short  excursions  within  certain  prescribed  limits  along  the 
river  side,  contrived  to  shoot  and  fish  enough  to  get 
through  the  day  and  improve  the  meagre  fare  of  his  mess- 
table.  Malone  never  appeared  before  dinner, — his  late 
sittings  at  night  requiring  all  the  following  day  to  recruit 
him  from  a  new  attack  upon  the  rum-bottle. 

Now,  although  his  seeing  so  little  of  his  brother  officer 
was  anything  but  unpleasant  to  O'Flaherty,  yet  the  ennui 
of  such  a  life  was  gradually  wearing  him,  and  all  his  wits 


190  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

were  put  in  requisition  to  furnish,  occupation  for  his  time. 
Never  a  day  passed  without  his  praying  ardently  for  an 
attack  from  the  enemy ;  any  alternative,  any  reverse,  had 
been  a  blessing  compared  with  his  present  life.  No  such 
spirit,  however,  seemed  to  animate  the  Yankee  troops  ;  not 
a  soldier  was  to  be  seen  for  miles  around,  and  every 
straggler  that  passed  the  Fort  concurred  in  saying  that 
the  Americans  were  not  within  four  days'  march  of  the 
frontier. 

Weeks  passed  over,  and  the  same  state  of  things  remain- 
ing unchanged,  O'Flaherty  gradually  relaxed  some  of  his 
strictness  as  to  duty  ;  small  foraging  parties  of  three  and 
four  being  daily  permitted  to  leave  the  Fort  for  a  few  hours, 
to  which  they  usually  returned  laden  with  wild  turkeys  and 
fish,  both  being  found  in  great  abundance  near  them. 

Such  was  the  life  of  the  little  garrison  for  two  or  three 
long  summer  months,  each  day  so  resembling  its  fellow 
that  no  difference  could  be  found. 

As  to  how  the  war  was  faring,  or  what  the  aspect  of  af- 
fairs might  be,  they  absolutely  knew  nothing.  Newspapers 
never  reached  them  ;  and  whether  from  having  so  much 
occupation  at  headquarters,  or  that  the  difficulty  of  sending 
letters  prevented,  their  friends  never  wrote  a  line ;  and 
thus  they  jogged  on  a  very  vegetable  existence,  till  thought 
at  last  was  stagnating  in  their  brains,  and  O'Flaherty  half 
envied  his  companion's  resource  in  the  spirit-flask. 

Such  was  the  state  of  affairs  at  the  Fort,  when  one  even-, 
ing  O'Flaherty  appeared  to  pace  the  little  rampart  that 
looked  towards  Lake  Ontario,  with  an  appearance  of  anxiety 
and  impatience  strangely  at  variance  with  his  daily  phleg- 
matic look.  It  seemed  that  the  corporal's  party  he  had 
despatched  that  morning  to  forage  near  the  Falls  had  not 
returned,  and  already  were  four  hours  later  than  their 
time  away. 

Every  imaginable  mode  of  accounting  for  their  absence 
suggested  itself  to  his  mind.  Sometimes  he  feared  that 
they  had  been  attacked  by  the  Indian  hunters,  who  were 
far  from  favorably  disposed  towards  their  poaching  neigh- 


AN  ADVENTUKE  IN  CANADA.         197 

bors.  Then,  again,  it  might  be  merely  that  they  had  missed 
their  track  in  the  forest ;  or  could  it  be  that  they  had 
ventured  to  reach  Goat  Island  in  a  canoe,  and  had  been 
carried  down  the  rapids  ?  Such  were  the  torturing  doubts 
that  passed,  as  some  shrill  squirrel  or  hoarse  night-owl 
pierced  the  air  with  a  cry,  and  then  all  was  silent  again. 
While  thus  the  hours  went  slowly  by,  his  attention  was 
attracted  by  a  bright  light  in  the  sky.  It  appeared  as  if 
part  of  the  heavens  were  reflecting  some  strong  glare  from 
beneath,  for  as  he  looked,  the  light,  at  first  pale  and  color- 
less, gradually  deepened  into  a  rich  mellow  hue,  and  at 
length,  through  the  murky  blackness  of  the  night,  a  strong, 
clear  current  of  flame  rose  steadily  upwards  from  the  earth 
and  pointed  towards  the  sky.  From  the  direction,  it  must 
have  been  either  at  the  Falls  or  immediately  near  them ; 
and  now  the  horrible  conviction  flashed  upon  his  mind  that 
the  party  had  been  waylaid  by  the  Indians,  who  were,  as  is 
their  custom,  making  a  war-feast  over  their  victims. 

Not  an  instant  was  to  be  lost.  The  little  garrison  beat  to 
arms  ;  and  as  the  men  fell  in,  O'Flaherty  cast  his  eyes 
around,  while  he  selected  a  few  brave  fellows  to  accompany 
him.  Scarcely  had  the  men  fallen  out  from  the  ranks,  when 
the  sentinel  at  the  gate  was  challenged  by  a  well-known 
voice,  and  in  a  moment  more  the  corporal  of  the  foraging 
party  was  among  them.  Fatigue  and  exhaustion  had  so 
overcome  him  that  for  some  minutes  he  was  speechless. 
At  length  he  recovered  sufficiently  to  give  the  following 
brief  account :  — 

The  little  party,  having  obtained  their  supply  of  venison 
above  Queenston,  were  returning  to  the  Fort,  when  they 
suddenly  came  upon  a  track  of  feet,  and  little  experience 
in  forest  life  soon  proved  that  some  new  arrivals  had 
reached  the  hunting-grounds ;  for  on  examining  them  closely, 
they  proved  neither  to  be  Indian  tracks,  nor  yet  those 
made  by  the  shoes  of  the  Fort  party.  Proceeding  with 
caution  to  track  them  backwards  for  three  or  four  miles, 
they  reached  the  bank  of  the  Niagara  Eiver  above  the 
whirlpools,  where  the  crossing  is  most  easily  effected  from 


198  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  American  side.  The  mystery  was  at  once  explained,  — 
it  was  a  surprise  party  of  the  Yankees,  sent  to  attack  Fort 
Peak;  and  now  the  only  thing  to  be  done  was  to  hasten 
back  immediately  to  their  friends  and  prepare  for  their 
reception. 

With  this  intent  they  took  the  river  path,  as  the  shortest, 
but  had  not  proceeded  far  when  their  fears  were  confirmed ; 
for  in  a  little  embayment  of  the  bank  they  perceived  a 
party  of  twenty  blue  coats,  who,  with  their  arms  piled, 
were  lying  around  as  if  waiting  for  the  hoar  of  attack.  The 
sight  of  this  party  added  greatly  to  their  alarm,  for  they 
now  perceived  that  the  Americans  had  divided  their  force, 
—  the  foot-tracks  first  seen  being  evidently  those  of  an- 
other division.  As  the  corporal  and  his  few  men  con- 
tinued, from  the  low  and  thick  brushwood,  to  make  their 
reconnoissance  of  the  enemy,  they  observed  with  delight 
that  they  were  not  regulars,  but  a  militia  force.  With  this 
one  animating  thought  they  again,  with  noiseless  step,  re- 
gained the  forest  and  proceeded  upon  their  way.  Scarcely, 
however,  had  they  marched  a  mile,  when  the  sound  of 
voices  and  loud  laughter  apprised  them  that  another  party 
was  near,  which,  as  well  as  they  could  observe  in  the  in- 
creasing gloom,  was  still  larger  than  the  former.  They 
were  now  obliged  to  make  a  considerable  circuit  and  ad- 
vance still  deeper  into  the  forest,  their  anxiety  hourly 
increasing  lest  the  enemy  should  reach  the  Fort  before 
themselves.  In  this  dilemma  it  was  resolved  that  the 
party  should  separate,  the  corporal  determining  to  proceed 
alone  by  the  river  bank,  while  the  others,  by  a  d'ttour  of  some 
miles,  should  endeavor  to  learn  the  force  of  the  Yankees, 
and  as  far  as  they  could,  their  mode  of  attack.  From  that 
instant  the  corporal  knew  no  more  ;  for  after  two  hours' 
weary  exertion  he  reached  the  Fort,  which,  had  it  been  but 
another  mile  distant,  his  strength  had  not  held  out  for  him 
to  attain. 

However  gladly  poor  O'Flaherty  might  have  hailed  such 
information  under  other  circumstances,  now  it  came  like  a 
thunderbolt  upon  him.     Six  of  his  small  force  were  away, 


AN  ADVENTURE   IN   CANADA. 


199 


—  perhaps  ere  this  made  prisoners  by  the  enemy,  —  the 
Yankees,  as  well  as  he  could  judge,  were  a  numerous  party, 
and  he  himself  totally  without  a  single  adviser ;  for  Malone 
had  dined,  and  was,  therefore,  by  this  time  in  that  pleasing 
state  of  indifference  in  which  he  could  only  recognize  an 
enemy  in  the  man  that  did  not  send  round  the  decanter. 

In  the  half-indulged   hope  that  his  state  might   permit 
some  faint  exercise  of  the  reasoning  faculty,  O'Flaherty 


walked  towards  the  small  den  they  had  designated  as  the 
mess-room,  in  search  of  his  brother-officer. 

As  he  entered  the  apartment,  little  disposed  as  he  felt  to 
mirth  at  such  moment,  the  tableau  before  him  was  too 
ridiculous  not  to  laugh  at.  At  one  side  of  the  fireplace  sat 
Malone,  his  face  florid  with  drinking,  and  his  eyeballs  pro- 
jecting. Upon  his  head  was  a  small  Indian  skull-cap  with 
two  peacock's  feathers,  and  a  piece  of  scarlet  cloth  which 
hung  down  behind.     In  one  hand  he  held  a  smoking  goblet 


200  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

of  rum-punch,  and  in  the  other  a  long  Indian  Chibook  pipe. 
Opposite  to  him,  but  squatted  upon  the  floor,  reposed  a  Eed 
Indian  that  lived  in  the  Fort  as  a  guide,  equally  drunk,  but 
preserving,  even  in  his  liquor,  an  impassive,  grave  aspect, 
strangely  contrasting  with  the  high  excitement  of  Malone's 
face.  The  red  man  wore  Malone's  uniform  coat,  which  he 
had  put  on  back  foremost,  —  his  head-dress  having,  in  all 
probability,  been  exchanged  for  it,  as  an  amicable  courtesy 
between  the  parties.  There  they  sat,  looking  fixedly  at 
each  other;  neither  spoke,  nor  even  smiled,  —  the  rum- 
bottle,  which  at  brief  intervals  passed  from  one  to  the 
other,  maintained  a  friendly  intercourse  that  each  was 
content  with. 

To  the  hearty  fit  of  laughing  of  O'Flaherty,  Malone  re- 
plied by  a  look  of  drunken  defiance,  and  then  nodded  to  his 
red  friend,  who  returned  the  courtesy.  As  poor  Tom  left 
the  room  he  saw  that  nothing  was  to  be  hoped  for  in  this 
quarter,  and  determined  to  beat  the  garrison  to  arms  with- 
out any  further  delay.  Scarcely  had  he  closed  the  door  be- 
hind him,  when  a  sudden  thought  flashed  through  his  brain. 
He  hesitated,  walked  forward  a  few  paces,  stopped  again, 
and  calling  out  to  the  corporal,  said,  — 

"  You  are  certain  they  were  militia  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  quite  sure." 

"  Then,  by  Jove,  I  have  it,"  cried  O'Flaherty.  « If  they 
should  turn  om:  to  be  the  Buffalo  Fencibles,  we  may  get 
through  this  scrape  better  than  I  hoped  for." 

"  I  believe  you  are  right,  sir  ;  for  I  heard  one  of  the  men 
as  I  passed  observe,  '  What  will  they  say  in  Buffalo  when 
it 's  over  ?  '  " 

"  Send  Mathers  here,  corporal ;  and  do  you  order  four  rank 
and  file,  with  side-arms,  to  be  in  readiness  immediately." 

"  Mathers,  you  have  heard  the  news,"  said  O'Flaherty,  as 
the  sergeant  entered.  "  Can  the  Fort  hold  out  against  such 
a  force  as  Jackson  reports  ?  You  doubt,  —  well,  so  do  I ; 
so  let 's  see  what 's  to  be  done.  Can  you  remember,  was  it 
not  the  Buffalo  militia  that  were  so  tremendously  thrashed 
by  the  Delawares  last  autumn  ?  " 


AN  ADVENTURE  IN  CANADA.         201 

"  Yes,  sir  ;  they  chased  them  for  two  days  and  nights,  and 
had  they  not  reached  the  town  of  Buffalo,  the  Delawares 
would  not  have  left  a  scalp  in  the  regiment." 

"  Can  you  recollect  the  chief's  name,  —  it  was  Carran  — 
something,  eh  ?  " 

"  Caudan-dacwagae." 

"  Exactly.     Where  is  he  supposed  to  be  now  ?  " 

"  Up  in  Detroit,  sir,  they  say,  but  no  one  knows ;  those 
fellows  are  here  to-day,  and  there  to-morrow." 

"Well  then,  sergeant,  here's  my  plan."  Saying  these 
words,  O'Flaherty  proceeded  to  walk  towards  his  quarters, 
accompanied  by  the  sergeant,  with  whom  he  conversed  for 
some  time  eagerly ;  occasionally  replying,  as  it  appeared,  to 
objections,  and  offering  explanations  as  the  other  seemed 
to  require  them.  The  colloquy  lasted  half  an  hour;  and 
although  the  veteran  sergeant  seemed  difficult  of  convic- 
tion, it  ended  by  his  saying,  as  he  left  the  room,  — 

"  Well,  sir,  as  you  say,  it  can  only  come  to  hard  knocks 
at  worst.  Here  goes.  I  '11  send  off  the  scout  party  to  make 
the  fires  and  choose  the  men  for  the  out-pickets,  for  no 
time  is  to  be  lost." 

In  about  an  hour's  time  from  the  scene  I  have  mentioned, 
a  number  of  militia  officers,  of  different  grades,  were  seated 
round  a  bivouac  fire  upon  the  bank  of  the  Niagara  River. 
The  conversation  seemed  of  an  angry  nature,  for  the  voices 
of  the  speakers  were  loud  and  irascible,  and  their  gestures 
evidenced  a  state  of  high  excitement. 

"  I  see,"  said  one,  who  seemed  the  superior  of  the 
party,  —  "I  see  well  where  this  will  end.  We  shall  have 
another  Queenston  affair,  as  we  had  last  fall  with  the 
Delawares." 

"  I  only  say,"  replied  another,  "  that  if  you  wish  our  men 
to  stand  fire  to-morrow  morning,  the  less  you  remind  them 
of  the  Delawares  the  better.  What  is  that  noise  ?  Is  not 
that  a  drum  beating  ?  " 

The  party  at  these  words  sprang  to  their  legs,  and  stood 
in  an  attitude  of  listening  for  some  seconds. 

"  Who  goes  there  ?  "  sang  out  a  sentinel  from  his  post ; 


202  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

and  then,  after  a  moment's  delay,  added:  "Pass  flag  of 
truce  to  Major  Brown's  quarters." 

Scarcely  were  the  words  spoken,  when  three  officers  in 
scarlet,  preceded  by  a  drummer  with  a  white  flag,  stood 
before  the  American  party. 

"  To  whom  may  I  address  myself  ? "  said  one  of  the 
British,  —  who,  I  may  inform  my  reader,  en  passant,  was 
no  other  than  O'Flaherty,  —  "  to  whom  may  I  address  my- 
self as  the  officer  in  command  ?  " 

"  I  am  Major  Brown,"  said  a  short,  plethoric  little  man 
in  a  blue  uniform  and  round  hat.     "  And  who  are  you  ?  " 

"Major  O'Flaherty,  of  his  Majesty's  Fifth  Foot,"  said 
Tom,  with  a  very  sonorous  emphasis  on  each  word,  "the 
bearer  of  a  flag  of  truce  and  an  amicable  proposition  from 
Major-General  Allen,  commanding  the  garrison  of  Fort 
Peak." 

The  Americans,  who  were  evidently  taken  by  surprise  at 
their  intentions  of  attack  being  known,  were  silent,  while 
he  continued :  — 

"  Gentlemen,  it  may  appear  somewhat  strange  that  a  gar- 
rison possessing  the  natural  strength  of  a  powerful  position, 
supplied  with  abundant  ammunition  and  every  muniment 
of  war,  should  despatch  a  flag  of  truce  on  the  eve  of  an 
attack  in  preference  to  waiting  for  the  moment  when  a 
sharp  and  well-prepared  reception  might  best  attest  its 
vigilance  and  discipline.  But  the  reasons  for  this  step  are 
soon  explained.  In  the  first  place,  you  intend  a  surprise. 
We  have  been  long  aware  of  your  projected  attack.  Our 
spies  have  tracked  you  from  your  crossing  the  river  above 
the  whirlpool  to  your  present  position.  Every  man  of  your 
party  is  numbered  by  us,  and,  what  is  still  more,  numbered 
by  our  allies ;  yes,  gentlemen,  I  must  repeat  it,  '  allies,' 
though  as  a  Briton  I  blush  at  the  word.  Shame  and  dis- 
grace forever  be  that  man's  portion  who  first  associated  the 
honorable  usages  of  war  with  the  atrocious  and  bloody 
cruelties  of  the  savage.  Yet  so  it  is ;  the  Delawares  of  the 
hills  "  —  here  the  Yankees  exchanged  very  peculiar  looks  — 
"have  this  morning  arrived  at  Fort  Peak  with  orders  to 


AN  ADVENTURE  IN  CANADA.  203 

ravage  the  whole  of  your  frontier,  from  Fort  George  to 
Lake  Erie.  They  brought  us  the  information  of  your 
approach,  and  their  chief  is,  while  I  speak,  making  an  in- 
famous proposition,  by  which  a  price  is  to  be  paid  for  every 
scalp  he  produces  in  the  morning.  Now,  as  the  General 
cannot  refuse  to  co-operate  with  the  savages  without  com- 
promising himself  with  the  commander-in-chief,  neither  can 
he  accept  of  such  assistance  without  some  pangs  of  con- 
science, he  has  taken  the  only  course  open  to  him ;  he  has 
despatched  myself  and  my  brother  officers  here"  —  O'Fla- 
herty  glanced  at  two  privates  dressed  up  in  his  regimentals 
—  "  to  offer  you  terms  —  " 

O'Flaherty  paused  when  he  arrived  thus  far,  expecting 
that  the  opposite  party  would  make  some  reply ;  but  they 
continued  silent,  —  when  suddenly,  from  the  dense  forest, 
there  rang  forth  a  wild  and  savage  yell  that  rose  and  fell 
several  times,  like  the  pibroch  of  the  Highlander,  and 
ended  at  last  in  a  loud  whoop  that  was  echoed  and  re- 
echoed again  and  again  for  several  seconds  after. 

"Hark!"  said  O'Flaherty,  with  an  accent  of  horror. 
"  Hark !  the  war-cry  of  the  Delawares  !  The  savages  are 
eager  for  their  prey.  May  it  yet  be  time  enough  to  res- 
cue you  from  such  a  fate  !  Time  presses.  Our  terms  are 
these,  —  as  they  do  not  admit  of  discussion,  and  must  be 
at  once  accepted  or  rejected,  to  your  own  ear  alone  can  I 
impart  them." 

Saying  which,  he  took  Major  Brown  aside,  and  walking 
apart  from  the  others,  led  him,  by  slow  steps,  into  the  forest. 
While  O'Flaherty  continued  to  dilate  upon  the  atrocities  of 
Indian  war  and  the  revengeful  character  of  the  savages,  he 
corotrived  to  be  always  advancing  towards  the  river  side, 
till  at  length  the  glare  of  a  fire  was  perceptible  through  the 
gloom.  Major  Brown  stopped  suddenly,  and  pointed  in 
the  direction  of  the  flame. 

"It  is  the  Indian  picket,"  said  O'Flaherty,  calmly;  "and 
as  the  facts  I  have  been  detailing  may  be  more  palpable  to 
your  mind,  you  shall  see  them  with  your  own  eyes.  Yes, 
I  repeat  it,  you  shall,  through  the  cover  of  this  brushwood, 


204  HARRY  LORREQUEB. 

see  Caudan-dacwagae  himself ;  for  he  is  with  theru  in 
person." 

As  O'Flaherty  said  this,  lie  led  Major  Brown,  now  speech- 
less with  terror,  behind  a  massive  cork-tree,  from  which 
spot  they  could  look  down  upon  the  river  side,  where  in  a 
small  creek  sat  five  or  six  persons  in  blankets  and  scarlet 
head-dresses,  their  faces  streaked  with  patches  of  yellow 
and  red  paint,  to  which  the  glare  of  the  fire  lent  fresh 
horror.  In  the  midst  sat  one  whose  violent  gestures  and 
savage  cries  gave  him  the  very  appearance  of  a  demon  as 
he  resisted  with  all  his  might  the  efforts  of  the  others  to 
restrain  him,  shouting  like  a  maniac  all  the  while,  and 
struggling  to  rise. 

"It  is  the  chief,"  said  O'Flaherty;  "he  will  wait  no 
longer.  We  have  bribed  the  others  to  keep  him  quiet,  if 
possible,  a  little  time  ;  but  I  see  they  cannot  succeed." 

A  loud  yell  of  triumph  from  below  interrupted  Tom's 
speech,  the  infuriated  savage  — who  was  no  other  than  Mr. 
Malone  —  having  obtained  the  rum-bottle,  for  which  he  was 
fighting  with  all  his  might ;  his  temper  not  being  improved 
in  the  struggle  by  occasional  admonitions  from  the  red  end 
of  a  cigar  applied  to  his  naked  skin  by  the  other  Indians, 
who  were  his  own  soldiers  acting  under  O'Flaherty's 
orders. 

"  Now,"  said  Tom,  "  that  you  have  convinced  yourself, 
and  can  satisfy  your  brother  officers,  will  you  take  your 
chance,  or  will  you  accept  the  honorable  terms  of  the 
General,  —  pile  your  arms,  and  retreat  beyond  the  river 
before  daybreak  ?  Your  muskets  and  ammunition  will 
offer  a  bribe  to  the  cupidity  of  the  savage  and  delay  his 
pursuit  till  you  can  reach  some  place  of  safety." 

Major  Brown  heard  the  proposal  in  silence,  and  at  last 
determined  upon  consulting  his  brother  officers. 

"I  have  outstayed  my  time,"  said  O'Flaherty.  "But 
stop :  the  lives  of  so  many  are  at  stake,  I  consent."  Say- 
ing which,  they  walked  on  without  speaking,  till  they 
arrived  where  the  others  were  standing  around  the  watch- 
fire. 


AN  ADVENTURE  IN  CANADA.         205 

As  Brown  retired  to  consult  with  the  officers,  Tom  heard 
with  pleasure  how  much  his  two  companions  had  worked 
upon  the  Yankees'  fears  during  his  absence,  by  details  of 
the  vindictive  feelings  of  the  Delawares,  and  their  vows  to 
annihilate  the  Buffalo  militia. 

Before  five  minutes  they  had  decided.  Upon  a  solemn 
pledge  from  O'Flaherty  that  the  terms  of  the  compact  were 
to  be  observed  as  he  stated  them,  they  agreed  to  march  with 
their  arms  to  the  ford,  where,  having  piled  them,  they  were 
to  cross  over  and  make  the  best  of  their  way  home. 

By  sunrise  the  next  morning  all  that  remained  of  the 
threatened  attack  on  Fort  Peak  were  the  smouldering  ashes 
of  some  wood  fires,  eighty  muskets  piled  in  the  fort,  and  the 
yellow  ochre  and  red  stripes  that  still  adorned  the  coun- 
tenance of  the  late  Indian  chief,  but  now  snoring  Lieu- 
tenant —  Maurice  Malone. 


CHAPTER  XXIV. 

THE    COURIER'S    PASSPORT. 

A  second  night  succeeded  to  the  long,  dreary  day  of 
the  diligence,  and  the  only  agreeable  reflection  arose  in 
the  feeling  that  every  mile  travelled  was  diminishing  the 
chance  of  pursuit  and  removing  me  still  farther  from  that 
scene  of  trouble  and  annoyance  that  was  soon  to  furnish 
gossip  for  Paris  under  the  title  of  the  "  Affaire  O'LearyP 

How  he  was  ever  to  extricate  himself  from  the  numerous 
and  embarrassing  difficulties  gave  me,  I  confess,  less  uneasi- 
ness than  the  uncertainty  of  my  own  fortunes.  Luck 
seemed  ever  to  befriend  him,  —  me  it  had  always  accom- 
panied far  enough  through  life  to  make  its  subsequent 
desertion  more  painful.  How  far  I  should  blame  myself  for 
this,  I  stopped  not  to  consider,  but  brooded  over  the  fact  in 
a  melancholy  and  discontented  mood.  The  one  thought 
uppermost  in  my  mind  was  :  How  will  Lady  Jane  receive 
me  ?  Am  I  forgotten,  or  am  I  only  remembered  as  the 
subject  of  that  unlucky  mistake  when,  under  the  guise  of 
an  elder  son,  I  was  feted  and  made  much  of  ?  What  pre- 
tensions I  had,  without  fortune,  rank,  influence,  or  even 
expectations  of  any  kind,  to  seek  the  hand  of  the  most 
beautiful  girl  of  the  day,  with  the  largest  fortune  as  her 
dowry,  I  dared  not  ask  myself;  the  reply  would  have 
dashed  all  my  hopes,  and  my  pursuit  would  have  at  once 
been  abandoned.  "  Tell  the  people  you  are  an  excellent 
preacher,"  was  the  advice  of  an  old  and  learned  divine  to  a 
younger  and  less-experienced  one,  —  "  tell  them  so  every 
morning  and  every  noon  and  every  evening,  and  at  last 
they  will  begin  to  believe  it."  "  So,"  thought  I,  "  I  shall 
impress  upon  the  Callonbys  that  I  am  a  most  unexception- 
able parti.     Upon  every  occasion  they  shall  hear   it,  as 


THE  COURIER'S  PASSPORT.  207 

they  open  their  newspapers  at  breakfast,  as  they  sip  their 
soup  at  luncheon,  as  they  adjust  their  napkin  at  dinner,  as 
they  chat  over  their  wine  at  night.  My  influence  in  the 
house  shall  be  unbounded,  my  pleasures  consulted,  my  dis- 
likes remembered.  The  people  in  favor  with  me  shall  dine 
there  three  times  a  week  ;  those  less  fortunate  shall  be  put 
into  schedule  B.  My  opinions  on  all  subjects  shall  be  a 
law,  whether  I  pronounce  upon  politics  or  discuss  a  dinner ; 
and  all  this  I  shall  accomplish  by  a  successful  flattery  of 
my  lady,  a  little  bullying  of  my  lord,  a  devoted  attention 
to  the  youngest  sister,  a  special  cultivation  of  Kilkee,  and  a 
very  prononce  neglect  of  Lady  Jane."  These  were  my  half- 
waking  thoughts  as  the  heavy  diligence  rumbled  over  the 
pave  into  Nancy ;  and  I  was  aroused  by  the  door  being 
suddenly  jerked  open  and  a  bronzed  face,  with  a  black 
beard  and  moustache,  being  thrust  in  amongst  us. 

"Your  passports,  Messieurs,"  as  a  lantern  was  held  up 
in  succession  across  our  faces,  and  we  handed  forth  our 
crumpled  and  worn  papers  to  the  official. 

The  night  was  stormy  and  dark;  gusts  of  wind  sweep- 
ing along,  bearing  with  them  the  tail  of  some  thunder-cloud, 
mingled  their  sounds  with  a  falling  tile  from  the  roofs  or 
a  broken  chimney-pot.  The  officer  in  vain  endeavored  to 
hold  open  the  passports  while  he  inscribed  his  name ;  and 
just  as  the  last  scrawl  was  completed,  the  lantern  went  out. 
Muttering  a  heavy  curse  upon  the  weather,  he  thrust  them 
in  upon  us  en  masse,  and  banging  the  door  to,  called  out  to 
the  conductor,  "  En  route." 

Again  we  rumbled  on,  and  ere  we  cleared  the  last  lamps 
of  the  town,  the  whole  party  were  once  more  sunk  in  sleep, 
save  myself.  Hour  after  hour  rolled  by,  the  rain  pattering 
upon  the  roof,  and  the  heavy  plash  of  the  horses'  feet  con- 
tributing their  mournful  sounds  to  the  melancholy  that  was 
stealing  over  me.  At  length  we  drew  up  at  the  door  of  a 
little  inn,  and  by  the  noise  and  bustle  without  I  perceived 
there  was  a  change  of  horses.  Anxious  to  stretch  my  legs, 
and  relieve,  if  even  for  a  moment,  the  wearisome  monotony 
of  the  night,  I  got  out  and  strode  into  the  little  parlor  of 


208  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

the  inn.  There  was  a  cheerful  fire  in  an  open  stove,  beside 
which  stood  a  portly  figure  in  a  sheepskin  bunt  a  and  a  cloth 
travelling-cap  with  a  gold  band,  his  legs  cased  in  high 
Kussia-leather  boots,  —  all  evident  signs  of  the  profession 
of  the  wearer,  had  even  his  haste  at  supper  not  bespoke  the 
fact  that  he  was  a  government  courier. 

"  You  had  better  make  haste  with  the  horses,  Antoine,  if 
you  don't  wish  the  postmaster  to  hear  of  it,"  said  he  as  I 
entered,  his  mouth  filled  with  pie-crust  and  via  de  Beaune 
as  he  spoke. 

A  lumbering  peasant,  with  a  blouse,  sabots,  and  a  striped 
nightcap,  replied  in  some  unknown  patois,  when  the  courier 
again  said,  — 

"  Well,  then,  take  the  diligence-horses ;  I  must  get  on  at 
all  events,  —  they  are  not  so  hurried,  I'll  be  bound.  Be- 
sides, it  will  save  the  gendarmes  some  miles  of  a  ride  if  they 
overtake  them  here." 

"Have  we  another  vise  of  our  passports  here,  then?" 
said  I,  addressing  the  courier ;  "  for  we  have  already  been 
examined  at  Nancy." 

"Not  exactly  a  vise"  said  the  courier,  eying  me  most 
suspiciously  as  he  spoke,  and  then  continuing  to  eat  with 
his  former  voracity. 

"Then  what,  may  I  ask,  have  we  to  do  with  the 
gendarmes  ?  " 

"  It  is  a  search,"  said  the  courier,  gruffly,  and  with  the 
air  of  one  who  desired  no  further  questioning. 

I  immediately  ordered  a  bottle  of  Burgundy,  and  filling 
a  large  goblet  before  him,  said,  with  much  respect,  — 

"A  votre  bon  voyage,  Monsieur  le  Courier." 

To  this  he  at  once  replied  by  taking  off  his  cap  and  bow- 
ing politely  as  he  drank  off  the  wine. 

"Have  we  any  runaway  felon  or  stray  galley  slave 
among  us,"  said  I,  laughingly,  "that  they  are  going  to 
search  us  ?  " 

"No,  Monsieur,"  said  the  courier ;  "but  there  has  been  a 
government  order  to  arrest  a  person  on  this  road  connected 
with  the  dreadful  Polish  plot  that  has  just  delate  at  Paris. 


THE  COURIER'S  PASSPORT.  209 

I  passed  a  vidette  of  cavalry  at  Nancy,  and  they  will  be  up 
here  in  half  an  hour." 

"  A  Polish  plot !  Why,  I  left  Paris  only  two  days  ago 
and  never  heard  of  it." 

"  C'est  Men  possible,  Monsieur.  Perhaps,  after  all,  it  may 
only  be  an  affair  of  the  police  ;  but  they  have  certainly 
arrested  one  prisoner  at  Meurice's,  charged  with  this,  as 
well  as  the  attempt  to  rob  Frascati  and  murder  the 
croupier." 

"  Alas  ! "  said  I,  with  a  half-suppressed  groan,  "  it  is  too 
true;  that  infernal  fellow  O'Leary  has  ruined  me,  and  I 
shall  be  brought  back  to  Paris,  and  only  taken  from  prison 
to  meet  the  open  shame  and  disgrace  of  a  public  trial." 

What  was  to  be  done  ?  Every  moment  was  precious.  I 
walked  to  the  door  to  conceal  my  agitation.  All  was  dark 
and  gloomy.  The  thought  of  escape  was  my  only  one ;  but 
how  to  accomplish  it  ?  Every  stir  without  suggested  to  my 
anxious  mind  the  approaching  tread  of  horses ;  every  rattle 
of  the  harness  seemed  like  the  clink  of  accoutrements. 

While  I  yet  hesitated,  I  felt  that  my  fate  was  in  the  bal- 
ance. Concealment  where  I  was,  was  impossible;  there 
were  no  means  of  obtaining  horses  to  proceed.  My  last 
only  hope  then  rested  in  the  courier, — he  perhaps  might 
be  bribed  to  assist  me  at  this  juncture.  Still,  his  impres- 
sion as  to  the  enormity  of  the  crime  imputed,  might  deter 
him;  and  there  was  no  time  for  explanation,  if  even  he 
would  listen  to  it.  I  returned  to  the  room  ;  he  had  finished 
his  meal,  and  was  now  engaged  in  all  the  preparations  for 
encountering  a  wet  and  dreary  night.  I  hesitated ;  my  fears 
that  if  he  should  refuse  my  offers,  all  chance  of  my  escape  was 
gone,  deterred  me  for  a  moment.  At  length,  as  he  wound  a 
large  woollen  shawl  around  his  throat  and  seemed  to  have 
completed  his  costume,  I  summoned  nerve  for  the  effort, 
and  with  as  much  boldness  in  my  manner  as  I  could  mus- 
ter, said,  — 

"Monsieur  le  Courier,  one  word  with  you."  I  here 
closed  the  door,  and  continued :  "  My  fortunes,  my  whole 
prospects  in  life,  depend  upon  my  reaching  Strasburg  by 

VOL.  II.  — 14 


210  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

to-morrow  night.  You  alone  can  be  the  means  of  my 
doing  so.  Is  there  any  price  you  can  mention  for  which 
you  will  render  me  this  service  ?     If  so,  name  it." 

"  So,  then,  Monsieur,"  said  the  courier,  slowly,  "  so,  then, 
you  are  the  —  " 

"  You  have  guessed  it,"  said  I,  interrupting.  "  Do  you 
accept  my  proposal  ?  " 

"  It  is  impossible,"  said  he,  "  utterly  impossible  ;  for  even 
should  I  be  disposed  to  run  the  risk  on  my  own  account,  it 
would  avail  you  nothing.  The  first  town  we  entered,  your 
passport  would  be  demanded,  and  not  being  vised  by  the 
minister  to  travel  en  courier,  you  would  at  once  be  detained 
and  arrested." 

"  Then  am  I  lost,"  said  I,  throwing  myself  upon  a  chair  j 
,  at  the  same  instant  my  passport,  which  I  carried  in  my 
breast-pocket,  fell  out  at  the  feet  of  the  courier.  He  lifted 
it  and  opened  it  leisurely.  So  engrossed  was  I  by  my  mis- 
fortunes that  for  some  minutes  I  did  not  perceive  that,  as 
he  continued  to  read  the  passport,  he  smiled  from  time  to 
time,  till  at  length  a  hearty  fit  of  laughing  awoke  me  from 
my  abstraction.  My  first  impulse  was  to  seize  him  by  the 
throat ;  controlling  my  temper,  however,  with  an  effort, 
I  said,  — 

"  And  pray,  Monsieur,  may  I  ask  in  what  manner  the  po- 
sition I  stand  in  at  this  moment  affords  you  so  much  amuse- 
ment ?  Is  there  anything  so  particularly  droll,  anything  so 
excessively  ludicrous,  in  my  situation ;  or  what  particular 
gift  do  you  possess  that  shall  prevent  me  from  throwing 
you  out  of  the  window  ?  " 

"  Mais,  Monsieur,"  said  he,  half  stifled  with  laughter,  "  do 
you  know  the  blunder  I  fell  into  ?  It  is  really  too  good. 
Could  you  only  guess  whom  I  took  you  for,  you  would 
laugh  too." 

Here  he  became  so  overcome  with  merriment  that  he  was 
obliged  to  sit  down,  which  he  did  opposite  to  me,  and  actu- 
ally shook  with  laughter. 

"  When  this  comedy  is  over,"  thought  I,  "  we  may  begin 
to  understand  each  other."     Seeing  no  prospect  of  this,  I 


THE  COURIER'S  PASSPORT.  211 

became  at  length  impatient,  and  jumping  on  my  legs, 
said,  — 

"  Enough,  sir,  quite  enough  of  this  foolery.  Believe  me, 
you  have  every  reason  to  be  thankful  that  my  present  em- 
barrassment should  so  far  engross  me  that  I  cannot  afford 
time  to  give  you  a  thrashing." 

"  Pardon,  mille  pardons"  said  he  humbly ;  "  but  you  will, 
I  am  sure,  forgive  me  when  I  tell  you  that  I  was  stupid 
enough  to  mistake  you  for  the  fugitive  Englishman  whom 
the  gendarmes  are  in  pursuit  of.     How  good,  eh  ?  " 

"  Oh !  devilish  good ;  but  what  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"  Why,  the  fellow  that  caused  the  attack  at  Frascati  and 
all  that,  and  —  " 

"  Yes  —  well,  eh  ?     Did  you  think  I  was  he  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure  I  did,  till  I  saw  your  passport." 

"  Till  you  saw  my  passport !  Why,  what  on  earth  can  he 
mean  ?  "  thought  I.  "  No,  but,"  said  I,  half  jestingly,  "  how 
could  you  make  such  a  blunder  ?  " 

"  Why,  your  confused  manner,  your  impatience  to  get  on, 
your  hurried  questions,  all  convinced  me.  In  fact,  I  'd  have 
wagered  anything  you  were  the  Englishman." 

"  And  what,  in  Heaven's  name,  does  he  think  me  now  ?  " 
thought  I,  as  I  endeavored  to  join  in  the  laugh  so  ludicrous 
a  mistake  occasioned. 

"But  we  are  delaying  sadly,"  said  the  courier.  "Are 
you  ready  ?  " 

"  Keady  ?     Beady  for  what  ?  " 

"To  go  on  with  me,  of  course.  Don't  you  wish  to  get 
early  to  Strasburg  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure  I  do." 

"Well,  then,  come  along.  But  pray  don't  mind  your 
luggage,  for  my  caliche  is  loaded.  Your  instruments  can 
come  in  the  diligence." 

"  My  instruments  in  the  diligence  !  He 's  mad,  that 's 
flat."  ' 

"  How  they  will  laugh  at  Strasburg  at  my  mistake ! " 

"  That  they  will,"  thought  I.  "  The  only  doubt  is,  will 
you  join  in  the  merriment  ?  " 


212  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

So  saying,  I  followed  the  courier  to  the   door,  jumped 
into  his  caleche,  and  in  another  moment  was  hurrying  over 
the  pave  at  a  pace  that  defied  pursuit  and  promised  soon  to 
make  up  for  all  our  late  delay.     Scarcely  was  the  fur-lined 
apron  of  the  caleche  buttoned  around  me,  and  the  German 
blinds  let  down,  when  I  set  to  work  to  think  over  the  cir- 
cumstance  that   had   just   befallen   me.     As  I  had   never 
examined  my  passport  from  the  moment  Trevanion  handed 
it  to  me  at  Paris,  I  knew  nothing  of  its  contents  ;  therefore, 
as  to  what  impression  it  might  convey  of  me,  I  was  totally 
ignorant.     To  ask  the  courier  for  it  now  might  excite  sus- 
picion ;  so  that  I  was  totally  at  sea  how  to  account  for  his 
sudden  change  in  my  favor,  or  in  what  precise  capacity  I 
was    travelling    beside    him.     Once,   and   once   only,    the 
thought   of  treachery  occurred   to  me.     "  Is   he  about   to 
hand  me  over  to  the  gendarmes  ?  and  are  we  now  only  re- 
tracing  our   steps   towards   Nancy  ?     If   so,   Monsieur   le 
Courier,  whatever  be  my  fate,  yours  is  certainly  an  unenviable 
one."     My  reflections   on  this   head  were  soon   broken  in 
upon,  for  my  companion  again  returned  to  the  subject  of 
his  "  singular  error,"  and  assured  me  that  he  was  as  near  as 
possible  leaving  me  behind,  under  the  mistaken  impression 
of  my  being  "  myself,"  and  informed  me  that  all  Strasburg 
would  be  delighted  to  see  me,  —  which  latter  piece  of  news 
was  only  the  more  flattering  that  I  knew  no  one  there,  nor 
had  ever  been  in  that  city  in  my  life ;  and  after  about  an 
hour's  mystification  as  to  my  tastes,  habits,  and  pursuits, 
he  fell  fast  asleep,  leaving  me  to  solve  the  difficult  problem 
as  to  whether  I  was  not  somebody  else,  or  the  only  alterna- 
tive, whether  travelling  en  courier  might  not  be  prescribed 
by  physicians  as  a  mode  of  treating  insane  patients. 


CHAPTER   XXV. 

A   NIGHT   IN   STRASBURG. 

With  the  dawn  of  day  ruy  miseries  recommenced ;  for 
after  letting  down  the  sash  and  venting  some  very  fervent 
imprecations  upon  the  postilion  for  not  going  faster  than 
his  horses  were  able,  the  courier  once  more  recurred  to  his 
last  night's  blunder,  and  proceeded  very  leisurely  to  cate- 
chize me  as  to  my  probable  stay  at  Strasburg,  whither  I 
should  go  from  thence,  and  so  on.  As  I  was  still  in  doubt 
what  or  whom  he  took  me  for,  I  answered  with  the  greatest 
circumspection,  —  watching,  the  while,  for  any  clew  that 
might  lead  me  to  a  discovery  of  myself.  Thus  occasionally 
evading  all  pushing  and  home  queries,  and  sometimes,  when 
hard  pressed,  feigning  drowsiness,  I  passed  the  long  and 
anxious  day,  the  fear  of  being  overtaken  ever  mingling  with 
the  thoughts  that  some  unlucky  admission  of  mine  might 
discover  my  real  character  to  the  courier,  who  at  any  post- 
station  might  hand  me  over  to  the  authorities.  "  Could  I 
only  guess  at  the  part  I  am  performing,"  thought  I,  "I 
might  manage  to  keep  up  the  illusion  ;  "  but  my  attention 
was  so  entirely  engrossed  by  fencing  off  all  his  thrusts  that 
I  could  find  out  nothing.  At  last,  as  night  drew  near,  the 
thought  that  we  were  approaching  Strasburg  rallied  my 
spirits,  suggesting  an  escape  from  all  pursuit,  as  well  as  the 
welcome  prospect  of  getting  rid  of  my  present  torturer,  who, 
whenever  I  awoke  from  a  doze,  reverted  to  our  singular 
meeting  with  a  pertinacity  that  absolutely  seemed  like 
malice. 

"  As  I  am  aware  that  this  is  your  first  visit  to  Strasburg," 
said  the  courier,  "  perhaps  I  can  be  of  service  to  you  in  re- 
commending a  hotel.     Put  up,  I  advise  you,  at  the  Beav,  — 


214  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

a  capital   hotel,  and  not  ten  minutes'  distance  from  the 
theatre." 

I  thanked  him  for  the  counsel ;  and  rejoicing  in  the  fact 
that  my  prototype,  whoever  he  might  be,  was  unknown  in 
the  city,  began  to  feel  some  little  hope  of  getting  through 
this  scrape  as  I  had  done  so  many  others. 

"  They  have  been  keeping  the  '  Huguenots  '  for  your  ar- 
rival, and  all  Strasburg  is  impatient  for  your  coming." 

"  Indeed ! "  said  I,  mumbling  something  meant  to  be 
modest.  "  Who  the  devil  am  I,  then,  to  cause  all  this 
fracas  ?  Heaven  grant,  not  the  new  '  prefect,'  or  the  com- 
mander of  the  forces." 

"  I  am  told  the  '  Zauberflote '  is  your  favorite  opera  ?  " 

"  I  can't  say  that  I  ever  heard  it,  —  that  is,  I  mean  that 
I  could  say  —  well  got  up." 

Here  I  floundered  on,  having  so  far  forgot  myself  as  to 
endanger  everything. 

"  How  very  unfortunate  !  Well,  I  hope  you  will  not  long 
have  as  much  to  say.  Meanwhile,  here  we  are,  —  this  is 
the  'Bear.'" 

We  rattled  into  the  ample  porte-cochere  of  a  vast  hotel, 
the  postilion  cracking  his  enormous  whip,  and  bells  ringing 
on  every  side,  as  if  the  Crown  Prince  of  Russia  had  been 
the  arrival,  and  not  a  poor  sub  in  the  4-th. 

The  courier  jumped  out,  and  running  up  to  the  landlord, 
whispered  a  few  words  in  his  ear,  to  which  the  other  an- 
swered by  a  deep  "  Ah,  vraiment ! "  and  then  saluted  me 
with  an  obsequiousness  that  made  my  flesh  quake. 

"I  shall  make  mes  hommages  in  the  morning,"  said  the 
courier,  as  he  drove  off  at  full  speed  to  deliver  his  de- 
spatches, and  left  me  to  my  own  devices  to  perforin  a  char- 
acter without  even  being  able  to  guess  what  it  might  be. 
My  passport,  too,  the  only  thing  that  could  throw  any  light 
upon  the  affair,  he  had  taken  along  with  him,  promising  to 
have  it  visid,  and  save  me  any  trouble. 

Of  all  my  difficulties  and  puzzling  situations  in  life,  this 
was  certainly  the  worst ;  for  however  often  my  lot  had  been 
to  personate  another,  yet  hitherto  I  had  had  the  good  for- 


A  NIGHT  IN  STRASEURG.  215 

time  to  be  aware  of  what  and  whom  I  was  performing. 
Now  I  might  be  anybody,  from  Marshal  Sonlt  to  Monsieur 
Scribe  ;  one  thing  only  was  certain,  —  I  must  be  a  "  celeb- 
rity." The  confounded  pains  and  trouble  they  were  tak- 
ing to  receive  me  attested  that  fact,  and  left  me  to  the 
pleasing  reflection  that  my  detection,  should  it  take  place, 
would  be  sure  of  attracting  a  very  general  publicity.  Hav- 
ing ordered  my  supper  from  the  landlord  with  a  certain  air 
of  reserve  sufficient  to  prevent  even  an  Alsace  host  from 
obtruding  any  questions  upon  me,  I  took  my  opportunity  to 
stroll  from  the  inn  down  to  the  river-side.  There  lay  the 
broad,  rapid  Khine,  separating  me,  by  how  narrow  a  limit, 
from  that  land  where,  if  I  once  arrived,  my  safety  was  cer- 
tain. Never  did  that  great  boundary  of  nations  strike  me 
so  forcibly  as  now  when  my  own  petty  interests  and  for- 
tunes were  at  stake.  Night  was  fast  settling  upon  the  low, 
flat  banks  of  the  stream,  and  nothing  stirred  save  the  cease- 
less ripple  of  the  river.  One  fishing  bark  alone  was  on  the 
water.  I  hailed  the  solitary  tenant  of  it,  and  after  some 
little  parley  induced  him  to  ferry  me  over.  This,  however, 
could  only  be  done  when  the  night  was  farther  advanced,  — 
it  being  against  the  law  to  cross  the  river  except  at  certain 
hours  and  between  two  established  points,  where  officers  of 
the  revenue  were  stationed.  The  fisherman  was  easily  bribed, 
however,  to  evade  the  regulation,  and  only  bargained  that  I 
should  meet  him  on  the  bank  before  clay-break.  Having  set- 
tled this  point  to  my  satisfaction,  I  returned  to  my  hotel  in 
better  spirits ;  and  with  a  Strasburg^a^e  and  a  flask  of  Nier- 
steiner,  drank  to  my  speedy  deliverance. 

How  to  consume  the  long,  dreary  hours  between  this  time 
and  that  of  my  departure  I  knew  not,  for  though  greatly 
fatigued,  I  felt  that  sleep  was  impossible ;  the  usual  re- 
source of  a  gossip  with  the  host  was  equally  out  of  the 
question;  and  all  that  remained  was  the  theatre,  which  I 
happily  remembered  was  not  far  from  the  hotel. 

It  was  an  opera-night,  and  the  house  was  crowded  to 
excess ;  but  with  some  little  management,  I  obtained  a 
place  in  a  box  near  the  stage.     The  piece  was  "  Les  Francs 


216  1IAKRY  LORREQUER. 

Masons"  which  was  certainly  admirably  supported,  and 
drew  down  from  the  audience  —  no  mean  one  as  judges  of 
music  —  the  loudest  thunders  of  applause.  As  for  me,  the 
house  was  as  great  a  curiosity  as  the  opera.  The  novel  spec- 
tacle of  some  hundred  people  relishing  and  appreciating 
the  highest  order  of  musical  genius,  was  something  totally 
new  and  surprising  to  me.  The  curtain  at  length  fell  upon 
the  fifth  act ;  and  now  the  deafening  roar  of  acclamation 
was  tremendous ;  and  amid  a  perfect  shout  of  enthusiasm, 
the  manager  announced  the  opera  for  the  ensuing  evening. 
Scarcely  had  this  subsided  when  a  buzz  ran  through  the 
house,  at  first  subdued,  but  gradually  getting  louder,  ex- 
tending from  the  boxes  to  the  balcony,  from  the  balcony  to  the 
parterre,  and  finally  even  to  the  galleries.  Groups  of  people 
stood  upon  the  benches  and  looked  fixedly  in  one  part  of 
the  house,  then  changed  and  regarded  as  eagerly  the  other. 

"What  can  this  mean?"  thought  I.  "Is  the  theatre  on 
fire  ?     Something  surely  has  gone  wrong ! " 

In  this  conviction,  with  the  contagious  spirit  of  curiosity, 
I  mounted  upon  a  seat  and  looked  about  me  on  every  side  ; 
but  unable  still  to  catch  the  object  which  seemed  to  attract 
the  rest,  as  I  was  about  to  resume  my  place  my  eyes  fell 
upon  a  well-known  face,  which  in  an  instant  I  remembered 
was  that  of  my  late  fellow-traveller,  the  courier.  Anxious 
to  avoid  his  recognition,  I  attempted  to  get  down  at  once ; 
but  before  I  could  accomplish  it,  the  wretch  had  perceived 
and  recognized  me,  and  I  saw  him  even,  with  a  gesture  of 
delight,  point  me  out  to  some  friends  beside  him. 

"  Confound  the  fellow  !  "  muttered  I ;  "  I  must  leave  this 
at  once,  or  I  shall  be  involved  in  some  trouble." 

Scarcely  was  my  resolve  taken,  when  a  new  burst  of 
voices  arose  from  the  pit,  the  words  "  VAuteur  !  "  mingling 
with  loud  cries  for  "  Meyerbeer ! "  "  Meyerbeer !  "  to  appear. 
"  So,"  thought  I,  "  it  seems  the  great  composer  is  here.  Oh, 
by  Jove  !  I  must  have  a  peep  at  him  before  I  go."  So, 
leaning  over  the  front  rail  of  the  box,  I  looked  anxiously 
about  to  catch  one  hasty  glimpse  of  one  of  the  great  men 
of  his  day  and  country.     What  was  my  surprise,  however, 


A  NIGHT  IN  STRASBURG.  217 

to  perceive  that  about  two  thousand  eyes  were  firmly  riveted 
upon  the  box  I  was  seated  iu,  while  about  half  the  number 
of  tongues  called  out  unceasingly,  "  M.  Meyerbeer !  vive 
Meyerbeer  !  vive  VAuteur  des  Francs  Magons  !  vive  lea  Francs 
Magons  /"  etc.  Before  I  could  turn  to  look  for  the  hero  of 
the  scene,  my  legs  were  taken  from  under  me,  and  I  felt 
myself  lifted  by  several  strong  men  and  held  out  in  front 
of  the  box,  while  the  whole  audience,  rising  en  masse,  sa- 
luted me — yes,  me,  Harry  Lorrequer —  with  a  cheer  that 
shook  the  building.  Fearful  of  precipitating  myself  into 
the  pit  beneath  if  I  made  the  least  effort,  and  half  wild 
with  terror  and  amazement,  I  stared  about  like  a  maniac, 
while  a  beautiful  young  woman  tripped  along  the  edge  of 
the  box,  supported  by  her  companion's  hand,  and  placed 
lightly  upon  my  brow  a  chaplet  of  roses  and  laurel.  Here 
the  applause  was  like  an  earthquake. 

"  May  the  devil  fly  away  with  half  of  you ! "  was  my 
grateful  response  to  as  full  a  cheer  of  applause  as  ever  the 
walls  of  the  house  re-echoed  to. 

"  On  the  stage,  on  the  stage ! "  shouted  that  portion  of 
the  audience  who,  occupying  the  same  side  of  the  house  as 
myself,  preferred  having  a  better  view  of  me ;  and  to  the 
stage  I  was  accordingly  hurried,  down  a  narrow  stair, 
through  a  side  scene,  and  over  half  the  corps  de  ballet,  who 
were  waiting  for  their  entree.  Kicking,  plunging,  buffeting 
like  a  madman,  they  carried  me  to  the  "flats,"  when  the 
manager  led  me  forward  to  the  footlights,  my  wreath  of 
flowers  contrasting  rather  ruefully  with  my  bruised  cheeks 
and  torn  habiliments.  Human  beings,  God  be  praised! 
are  only  capable  of  certain  efforts ;  so  that  one  half  the 
audience  were  coughing  their  sides  out,  while  the  other 
were  hoarse  as  bull-frogs  from  their  enthusiasm  in  less 
than  five  minutes. 

"You'll  have  what  my  friend  Rooney  calls  a  chronic 
bronchitis  for  these  three  weeks,"  said  I,  —  "  that 's  one  com- 
fort," as  I  bowed  my  way  back  to  the  "  practicable  "  door, 
through  which  I  made  my  exit,  with  the  thousand  faces  of 
the  parterre  shouting  my  name,  or,  as  fancy  dictated,  that 


218  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

of  one  of  my  operas.  I  retreated  behind  the  scenes  to  en- 
counter very  nearly  as  much,  and  at  closer  quarters  too,  as 
that  lately  sustained  before  the  audience.  After  an  embrace  of 
two  minutes'  duration  from  the  manager,  I  ran  the  gauntlet 
from  the  prima  donna  to  the  last  triangle  of  the  orchestra, 
who  cut  away  a  back  button  of  my  coat  as  a  souvenir. 
During  all  this,  I  must  confess,  very  little  acting  was 
needed  on  my  part.  They  were  so  perfectly  contented 
with  their  self-deception  that  if  I  had  made  an  affidavit 
before  the  mayor,  —  if  there  be  such  a  functionary  in  such  an 
insane  town,  —  they  would  not  have  believed  me.  Wearied 
and  exhausted  at  length  by  all  I  had  gone  through,  1  sat 
down  upon  a  bench,  and  affecting  to  be  overcome  by  my 
feelings,  concealed  my  face  in  my  handkerchief.  This  was 
the  first  moment  of  relief  I  experienced  since  my  arrival ; 
but  it  was  not  to  last  long,  for  the  manager,  putting  down 
his  head  close  to  my  ear,  whispered,  — 

"Monsieur  Meyerbeer,  I  have  a  surprise  for  you  such  as 
you  have  not  had  for  some  time,  I  venture  to  say." 

"  I  defy  you  on  this  head,"  thought  I.  "  If  they  make 
me  out  King  Solomon  now,  it  will  not  amaze  me." 

"And  when  I  tell  you  my  secret,"  continued  he,  "you 
will  acknowledge  I  cannot  be  of  a  very  jealous  disposition. 
Madame  Baptiste  has  just  told  me  she  knew  you  formerly, 
and  that  she  —  that  is  you  —  were,  in  fact  —  you  understand 
—  there  had  been  —  so  to  say  —  a  little  something  between 
you." 

I  groaned  in  spirit  as  I  thought,  "  Now  am  I  lost  without 
a  chance  of  escape ;  the  devil  take  her  reminiscences  !  " 

"I  see,"  continued  le  bon  mart,  "you  cannot  guess  of 
whom  I  speak;  but  when  I  tell  you  of  Aim-lie  Grandet, 
your  memory  will  perhaps  be  better." 

"Amelie  Grandet ! "  said  I,  with  a  stage  start;  I  need 
not  say  that  I  had  never  heard  the  name  before,  —  "Amelie 
Grandet  here  ?  " 

"  Yes,  that  she  is,"  said  the  manager,  rubbing  his  hands ; 
"  and  my  wife  too." 

"  Married  !     Amelie  Grandet  married !     No,  no,  it  is  im- 


A  NIGHT  IN  STRASBURG.  219 

possible ;  I  cannot  believe  it.  But  were  it  true,  — true,  mark 
me,  — for  worlds  would  I  not  meet  her." 

"  Comme  il  est  drole,"  said  the  manager,  soliloquizing 
aloud ;  "  for  my  wife  takes  it  much  easier,  seeing  they  never 
met  each  other  since  they  were  fifteen." 

"  Ho,  ho ! "  thought  I,  "  the  affair  is  not  so  bad  either ; 
time  makes  great  changes  in  that  space.  And  does  she  still 
remember  me  ?  "  said  I,  in  a  very  Romeo-in-the-garden  voice. 

"  Why,  so  far  as  remembering  the  little  boy  that  used  to 
play  with  her  in  the  orchard  at  her  mother's  cottage  near 
Pirna,  and  with  whom  she  used  to  go  boating  upon  the  Elbe, 
I  believe  the  recollection  is  perfect.  But  come  along ;  she 
insists  upon  seeing  you,  and  is  at  this  very  moment  waiting 
supper  in  our  room  for  you." 

"A  thorough  German  she  must  be,"  thought  I,  "with  her 
sympathies  and  her  supper,  her  reminiscences  and  her 
Rhine  wine,  hunting  in  couples  through  her  brain." 

Summoning  courage  from  the  fact  of  our  long  absence 
from  each  other,  I  followed  the  manager  through  a  wilder- 
ness of  pavilions,  forests,  clouds,  and  cataracts,  and  at  length 
arrived  at  a  little  door,  at  which  he  knocked  gently. 

"Come  in,"  said  a  soft  voice  inside.  We  opened,  and 
beheld  a  very  beautiful  young  woman  in  Tyrolese  costume,  — 
she  was  to  perform  in  the  afterpiece,  —  her  low  bodice  and 
short  scarlet  petticoat  displaying  the  most  perfect  symmetry 
of  form  and  roundness  of  proportion.  She  was  dressing  her 
hair  before  a  low  glass  as  we  came  in,  and  scarcely  turned 
at  our  approach ;  but  in  an  instant,  as  if  some  sudden 
thought  struck  her,  she  sprang  fully  round,  and  looking  at 
me  fixedly  for  above  a  minute,  —  a  very  trying  one  for  me, 
—  she  glanced  at  her  husband,  whose  countenance  plainly 
indicated  that  she  was  right,  and  calling  out,  "  Cest  lui,  — 
c'est  Men  ha!''''  threw  herself  into  my  arms  and  sobbed 
convulsively. 

"  If  this  were  to  be  the  only  fruits  of  my  impersonation," 
thought  I,  "  it  is  not  so  bad  ;  but  I  am  greatly  afraid  these 
good  people  will  find  out  a  wife  and  seven  babies  for  me 
before  morning." 


220  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Whether  the  manager  thought  that  enough  had  been  done 
for  stage  effect,  I  know  not ;  but  he  gently  disengaged  the 
lovely  Amelie  and  deposited  her  upon  a  sofa,  to  a  place  upon 
which  she  speedily  motioned  me  by  a  look  from  a  pair  of 
very  seducing  blue  eyes. 

"  Francois,  mon  cher,  you  must  put  off  '  La  Chaumiere.' 
I  can't  play  to-night." 

"  Put  it  off !  But  only  think  of  the  audience,  ma  mie,  — 
they  will  pull  down  the  house." 

"  C'est  possible,"  said  she,  carelessly.  "  If  that  give  them 
any  pleasure,  I  suppose  they  must  be  indulged  ;  but  I,  too, 
must  have  a  little  of  my  own  way.     I  shall  not  play  !  " 

The  tone  this  was  said  in  —  the  look,  the  easy  gesture  of 
command,  no  less  than  the  afflicted  helplessness  of  the  luck- 
less husband  —  showed  me  that  Amelie,  however  docile  as  a 
sweetheart,  had  certainly  her  own  way  as  wife. 

While  le  cher  Francois  then  retired  to  make  his  propo- 
sition to  the  audience  of  substituting  something  for  the 
"  Chawniere," —  "  the  sudden  illness  of  Madame  Baptiste 
having  prevented  her  appearance,"  —  we  began  to  renew 
our  old  acquaintance  by  a  thousand  inquiries  into  that 
long-past  time  when  we  were  sweethearts  and  lovers. 

"  You  remember  me  then  so  well  ?  "  said  I. 

"  As  of  yesterday.  You  are  much  taller,  and  your  eyes 
darker ;  but  still  there  is  something  —  You  know,  how- 
ever, I  have  been  expecting  to  see  you  these  two  days  ;  and 
tell  me  frankly,  how  do  you  find  me  looking  ?  " 

"More  beautiful,  a  thousand  times  more  beautiful,  than 
ever,  —  all  save  in  one  thing,  Amelie  —  " 

"  And  that  is  —  " 

"  You  are  married." 

"  How  you  jest !  But  let  us  look  back.  Do  you  ever 
think  of  any  of  our  old  compacts  ?  "  Here  she  pulled  a 
leaf  from  a  rosebud  in  her  bouquet  and  kissed  it.  "  I  wager 
you  have  forgotten  that." 

How  I  should  have  replied  to  this  masonic  sign,  Heaven 
knows !  But  the  manager  fortunately  entered,  to  assure  us 
that  the  audience  had  kindly  consented  not  to  pull  down  the 


A  NIGHT  IN  STRASBURG.  221 

house,  but  to  listen  to  a  five-act  tragedy  instead,  in  which  he 
had  to  perform  the  principal  character.  "  So,  then,  don't 
wait  supper,  Amelie,  but  take  care  of  Monsieur  Meyerbeer 
till  my  return." 

Thus  once  more  were  we  left  to  our  souvenirs,  in  which, 
whenever  hard  pushed  myself,  I  regularly  carried  the  war 
into  the  enemy's  camp,  by  allusions  to  incidents  which,  I 
need  not  observe,  had  never  occurred.  After  a  thousand 
stories  of  our  early  loves,  mingled  with  an  occasional  sigh 
over  their  fleeting  character,  —  now  indulging  a  soft  retro- 
spect of  the  once  happy  past,  now  moralizing  on  the  future, 
—  Amelie  and  1  chatted  away  the  hours  till  the  conclusion 
of  the  tragedy. 

By  this  time  the  hour  was  approaching  for  my  departure ; 
so,  after  a  very  tender  leave-taking  with  my  new  friend  and 
my  old  love,  I  left  the  theatre  and  walked  slowly  along  to 
the  river. 

"  So  much  for  early  associations,"  thought  I ;  "  and  how 
much  better  pleased  are  we  ever  to  paint  the  past  according 
to  our  own  fancy,  than  to  remember  it  as  it  really  was. 
Hence  all  the  insufferable  cant  about  happy  infancy  and 
'  the  glorious  schoolboy  days,'  which  have  generally  no  more 
foundation  in  fact  than  have  the  chateaux  en  Espagne 
we  build  up  for  the  future.  I  wager  that  the  real  amant 
d'enfance,  when  he  arrives,  is  not  half  so  great  a  friend  with 
the  fair  Amelie  as  his  unworthy  shadow.  At  the  same  time, 
I  had  just  as  soon  that  Lady  Jane  should  have  no  'early 
loves  '  to  look  back  upon,  except  such  as  I  have  performed 
a  character  in." 

The  plash  of  oars  near  me  broke  my  reflections,  and  the 
next  moment  found  me  skimming  the  rapid  Rhine  as  I 
thought  for  the  last  time,  "  What  will  they  say  in  Strasburg 
to-morrow  ?  How  will  they  account  for  the  mysterious  dis- 
appearance of  M.  Meyerbeer  ?  Poor  Amelie  Grandet ! "  for 
so  completely  had  the  late  incidents  engrossed  my  atten- 
tion that  I  had  for  the  moment  lost  sight  of  the  most  sin- 
gular event  of  all,  —  how  I  came  to  be  mistaken  for  the 
illustrious  composer. 


CHAPTER  XXVI. 

A    SURPRISE. 

It  was  late  upon  the  following  day  ere  I  awoke  from  the 
long,  deep  sleep  that  closed  my  labors  in  Strasburg.  In  the 
confusion  of  my  waking  thoughts  I  imagined  myself  still 
before  a  crowded  and  enthusiastic  audience ;  the  glare  of 
the  footlights,  the  crash  of  the  orchestra,  the  shouts  of 
"L'Auteurl"  "  L'Auteur  /"  were  all  before  me,  and  so 
completely  possessed  me  that  as  the  waiter  entered  with 
hot  water,  I  could  not  resist  the  impulse  to  pull  off  my 
nightcap  with  one  hand,  and  press  the  other  to  my  heart 
in  the  usual  theatrical  style  of  acknowledgments  for  a  most 
flattering  reception.  The  startled  look  of  the  poor  fellow 
as  he  neared  the  door  to  escape,  roused  me  from  my  hallu- 
cination and  awakened  me  to  the  conviction  that  the  sus- 
picion of  lunacy  might  be  a  still  heavier  infliction  than  the 
personation  of  M.  Meyerbeer. 

With  thoughts  of  this  nature  I  assumed  my  steadiest 
demeanor,  ordered  my  breakfast  in  the  most  orthodox  fash- 
ion, ate  it  like  a  man  in  his  senses,  and  when  I  threw 
myself  back  in  the  wicker  conveniency  they  call  a  caleche, 
and  bid  adieu  to  Kehl,  the  whole  fraternity  of  the  inn 
would  have  given  me  a  certificate  of  sanity  before  any  court 
in  Europe. 

"Now  for  Munich,"  said  I,  as  we  rattled  along  down  the 
steep  street  of  the  little  town,  —  "now  for  Munich,  with  all 
the  speed  that  first  of  postmasters  and  slowest  of  men,  the 
Prince  of  Tour  and  Taxis,  will  afford  us." 

The  future  engrossed  all  my  thoughts ;  and  puzzling  as 
my  late  adventures  had  been  to  account  for,  I  never  for  a 
moment  reverted  to  the  past.  "Is  she  to  be  mine?"  was 
the  ever-rising  question  in  my  mind.     The  thousand  diffi- 


A  SURPRISE.  223 

culties  that  had  crossed  my  path  might  long  since  have  ter- 
minated a  pursuit  where  there  was  so  little  of  promise,  did 
I  not  cherish  the  idea  in  my  heart  that  I  was  fated  to  suc- 
ceed. Sheridan  answered  the  ribald  sneers  of  his  first 
auditory  by  saying,  "  Laugh  on ;  but  I  have  it  in  me,  and 

by it   shall  come  out."     So  I  whispered  to  myself : 

"  Go  on,  Harry.  Luck  has  been  hitherto  against  you,  it  is 
true ;  but  you  have  yet  one  throw  of  the  dice,  and  some- 
thing seems  to  say  a  fortunate  one,  in  store ;  and  if  so  —  " 
But  I  cannot  trust  myself  with  such  anticipations.  I  am 
well  aware  how  little  the  world  sympathizes  with  the  man 
whose  fortunes  are  the  sport  of  his  temperament;  that 
April-day  frame  of  mind  is  ever  the  jest  and  scoff  of  those 
hardier  and  sterner  natures  who,  if  never  overjoyed  by  suc- 
cess, are  never  much  depressed  by  failure.  That  I  have 
been  cast  in  the  former  mould,  these  "  Confessions  "  have, 
alas !  plainly  proved ;  but  that  I  regret  it,  I  fear  also,  for 
my  character  for  sound  judgment,  I  must  answer  "No." 

"  Better  far  to  be 

In  utter  darkness  lying 
Than  be  blest  with  light  and  see 
That  light  forever  flying  "  — 

Is  doubtless  very  pretty  poetry,  but  very  poor  philosophy. 
For  myself  —  and  some  glimpses  of  sunshine  this  fair  world 
has  afforded  me,  fleeting  and  passing  enough,  in  all  con- 
science ;  and  yet  I  am  not  so  ungrateful  as  to  repine  at  my 
happiness  because  it  was  not  permanent,  while  I  am  thank- 
ful for  those  bright  hours  of  "  Love's  Young  Dream  "  which, 
if  nothing  more,  are  at  least  delightful  souvenirs.  They 
form  the  golden  thread  in  the  tangled  web  of  our  existence, 
ever  appearing  amid  the  darker  surface  around,  and  throw- 
ing a  fair  halo  of  brilliancy  on  what,  without  it,  were  cold, 
bleak,  and  barren.     No,  no,  — 

"  The  light  that  lies 
In  woman's  eyes," 

were  it  twice  as  fleeting  as  —  as  it  is  ten  times  more  bril- 
liant than  —  the  forked  lightning,  irradiates  the  dark  gloom 


224  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

within  us  for  many  a  long  day  after  it  lias  ceased  to  slime 
upon  us.  As  in  boyhood  it  is  the  humanizing  influence  that 
tempers  the  fierce  and  unruly  passions  of  our  nature,  so  in 
manhood  it  forms  the  goal  to  which  all  our  better  and 
higher  aspirations  tend,  telling  us  there  is  something  more 
worthy  than  gold,  and  a  more  lofty  pinnacle  of  ambition 
than  the  praise  and  envy  of  our  fellow-men ;  and  we  may 
rest  assured  that  when  this  feeling  dies  within  us,  all  the 
ideal  of  life  dies  with  it,  and  nothing  remains  save  the  dull 
reality  of  our  daily  cares  and  occupations.  "  I  have  lived 
and  have  loved,"  saith  Schiller ;  and  if  it  were  not  that  there 
seems  some  tautology  in  the  phrase,  I  should  say  such  is  my 
own  motto.  "  If  Lady  Jane  but  prove  true ;  if  I  have  really 
succeeded ;  if,  in  a  word  —  But  why  speculate  upon  such 
chances  ?  What  pretensions  have  I,  what  reasons,  to  look 
for  such  a  prize  ?  Alas  and  alas  !  were  I  to  catechize  myself 
too  closely,  I  fear  that  my  horses'  heads  would  face  towards 
Calais,  and  that  I  should  turn  my  back  upon  the  only  pros- 
pect of  happiness  I  can  picture  to  myself  in  this  world." 

In  reflections  such  as  these  the  hours  rolled  over,  and  it 
was  already  late  at  night  when  we  reached  the  little  village 
of  Merchem.  While  fresh  horses  were  being  got  ready,  I 
seized  the  occasion  to  partake  of  the  table  d'hote  supper  of 
the  inn,  at  the  door  of  which  the  diligence  was  drawn  up. 
Around  the  long  and  not  over-scrupulously  clean  table  sat 
the  usual  assemblage  of  a  German  "Eilwagen,"  smoking, 
dressing  salad,  knitting,  and  occasionally  picking  their  teeth 
with  their  forks,  until  the  soup  should  make  its  appearance. 
Taking  my  place  amid  this  motley  assemblage  of  musta- 
chioed shopkeepers  and  voluminously  petticoated  Fraus,  I 
sat  calculating  how  long  human  patience  could  endure  such 
companionship,  when  my  attention  was  aroused  by  hearing 
a  person  near  me  narrate  to  his  friend  the  circumstances  of 
my  debut  at  Strasburg,  with  certain  marginal  notes  of  his 
own  that  not  a  little  surprised  me. 

"And  so  it  turned  out  not  to  be  Meyerbeer  after  all," 
said  the  listener. 

"  Of  course  not,"  replied  the  other.     "  Meyerbeer's  pass- 


A  SURPRISE.  225 

port  was  stolen  from  him  in  the  diligence  by  this  English 
escroc,  and  the  consequence  was  that  our  poor  countryman 
was  arrested,  the  other  passport  being  found  upon  him ; 
while  the  Englishman,  proceeding  to  Strasburg,  took  his 
benefit  at  the  opera  and  walked  away  with  above  twelve 
thousand  florins." 

" Sappermint J '"  said  the  other,  tossing  off  his  beer.  "He 
must  have  been  a  clever  fellow,  though,  to  lead  the  orchestra 
in  the  Francs  Magons." 

"  That  is  the  most  astonishing  part  of  all ;  for  they  say 
in  Strasburg  that  his  performance  upon  the  violin  was  far 
finer  than  Paganini's.  But  there  seems  some  secret  in  it, 
after  all ;  for  Madame  Baptiste  swears  that  he  is  Meyer- 
beer, —  and,  in  fact,  the  matter  is  far  from  being  cleared  up, 
nor  can  it  be  till  he  is  apprehended." 

"Which  shall  not  be  for  some  time  to  come,"  said  I  to 
myself,  as,  slipping  noiselessly  from  the  room,  I  regained 
my  caliche,  and  in  ten  minutes  more  was  proceeding  on  my 
journey.  "  So  much  for  correct  information,"  thought  I. 
"  One  thing,  however,  is  certain,  —  to  the  chance  interchange 
of  passports  I  owe  my  safety,  with  the  additional  satisfac- 
tion that  my  little  German  acquaintance  is  reaping  a  pleas- 
ant retribution  for  all  his  worry  and  annoyance  of  me  in 
the  coupe." 

Only  he  who  has  toiled  over  the  weary  miles  of  a  long  jour- 
ney exclusively  occupied  with  one  thought,  one  overpower- 
ing feeling,  can  adequately  commiserate  my  impatient 
anxiety  as  the  days  rolled  slowly  over  on  the  long,  tiresome 
road  that  leads  from  the  Bhine  to  the  South  of  Germany. 

The  morning  was  breaking  on  the  fourth  day  of  my  jour- 
ney as  the  tall  spires  of  Munich  rose  to  my  view,  amid  the 
dull  and  arid  desert  of  sand  that  city  is  placed  in.  "  At 
last ! "  was  my  exclamation  as  the  postilion  tapped  at  the 
window  with  his  whip,  and  then  pointed  towards  the  city, 
—  "  at  last !  Oh  !  what  would  be  the  ecstasy  of  my  feel- 
ings now,  could  I  exchange  the  torturing  anxieties  of  sus- 
pense for  the  glorious  certainty  my  heart  throbs  for  ;  now 
my  journey  is  nearing  its  end,  to  see  me  claim  as  my  own 

VOL.  II. — 15 


226  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

what  I  only  barely  aspire  to  in  the  sanguine  hope  of  a  heart 
that  will  not  despair.  But  cheer  up,  Harry  !  It  is  a  noble 
stake  you  play  for,  and  it  is  ever  the  bold  gambler  that 
wins."  Scarcely  was  this  reflection  made  half  aloud,  when 
a  sudden  shock  threw  me  from  my  seat.  I  fell  towards  the 
door,  which,  bursting  open,  launched  me  out  upon  the  road, 
at  the  same  moment  that  the  broken  axletree  of  the  caliche 
had  upset  it  on  the  opposite  side,  carrying  one  horse  along 
with  it,  and  leaving  the  other,  with  the  postilion  on  his 
back,  kicking  and  plunging  with  all  his  might.  After  as- 
sisting the  frightened  fellow  to  dismount,  and  having  cut 
the  traces  of  the  restive  animal,  I  then  perceived  that  in 
the  melee  I  had  not  escaped  scathless.  I  could  barely  stand, 
and  on  passing  my  hand  along  my  instep,  perceived  I  had 
sprained  my  ankle  in  the  fall.  The  day  was  only  breaking, 
and  no  one  was  in  sight ;  so  that  after  a  few  minutes'  con- 
sideration, the  best  thing  to  do  appeared  to  be  to  get  the 
other  horse  upon  his  legs,  and  despatching  the  postilion  to 
Munich,  then  about  three  leagues  distant,  for  a  carriage, 
wait  patiently  on  the  road-side  for  his  return.  No  sooner 
was  the  resolve  made  than  carried  into  execution ;  and  in 
less  than  a  quarter  of  an  hour  from  the  moment  of  the  acci- 
dent, I  was  seated  upon  the  bank,  watching  the  retiring 
figure  of  the  postilion  as  he  disappeared  down  a  hill  on  his 
way  to  Munich.  When  the  momentary  burst  of  impatience 
was  over,  I  could  not  help  congratulating  myself  that  I  was 
so  far  fortunate  in  reaching  the  end  of  my  journey  ere  the 
mischance  befell  me.  Had  it  occurred  at  Stuttgart,  I  really 
think  that  it  would  have  half  driven  me  distracted. 

I  was  not  long  in  my  present  situation  when  a  number  of 
peasants,  with  broad-brimmed  hats  and  many-buttoned 
coats,  passed  on  their  way  to  work.  They  all  saluted  me 
respectfully ;  but  although  they  saw  the  broken  carriage, 
and  might  well  guess  at  the  nature  of  my  accident,  yet  not 
one  ever  thought  of  proffering  his  services  or  even  indulg- 
ing curiosity  by  way  of  inquiry.  "  How  thoroughly  Ger- 
man !  "  I  thought.  "  These  people  are  the  Turks  of  Europe, 
—  stupefied  with  tobacco  and  strong  beer.     They  have  no 


A  SURPEISE.  227 

thought  for  anything  but  themselves  and  their  own  imme- 
diate occupations."  Perceiving  at  length  one  whose  better 
dress  and  more  intelligent  look  bespoke  a  rank  above  the 
common,  I  made  the  effort,  with  such  Plat-Deutsch  as  I 
could  muster,  to  ask  if  there  were  any  house  near,  where  I 
could  remain  till  the  postilion's  return ;  and  learned,  greatly 
to  my  gratification,  that  by  taking  the  path  which  led 
through  a  grove  of  pine-trees  near  me,  I  should  find  a  cha- 
teau. But  who  was  the  proprietor  he  knew  not,  —  indeed, 
the  people  were  only  newly  come,  and  he  believed  were 
foreigners  ;  English,  he  thought.  Oh !  how  my  heart  jumped 
as  I  said,  "  Can  they  be  the  Callonbys  ?— Are  they  many  in 
family  ?  Are  there  ladies,  —  young  ladies  among  them  ?  " 
He  knew  not.  Having  hastily  arranged  with  my  new  friend 
to  watch  the  carriage  till  my  return,  I  took  the  path  he 
showed  me,  and,  smarting  with  pain  at  every  step,  hurried 
along  as  best  I  could  towards  the  chateau.  I  had  not 
walked  many  minutes  when  a  break  in  the  wood  gave  me  a 
view  of  the  old  mansion,  and  at  once  dispelled  the  illusion 
that  was  momentarily  gaining  upon  me.  "  They  could  not 
be  the  Callonbys."  The  house  was  old,  and  though  it  had 
once  been  a  fine  and  handsome  structure,  exhibited  now 
abundant  traces  of  decay  :  the  rich  cornices  which  supported 
the  roof  had  fallen  in  many  places,  and  lay  in  fragments 
upon  the  terrace  beneath  ;  the  portico  of  the  door  was  half 
tumbling,  and  the  architraves  of  the  windows  were  broken 
and  dismantled  ;  the  tall  and  once  richly  ornamented  chim- 
neys were  bereft  of  all  their  tracery,  and  stood  bolt  upright 
in  all  their  nakedness  above  the  high-pitched  roof.  A 
straggling  jet  cVeau  was  vigorously  fighting  its  way  amid  a 
mass  of  creeping  shrubs  and  luxuriant  lichens  that  had 
grown  around  and  above  a  richly  carved  fountain,  and  fell 
in  a  shower  of  sparkling  dew  upon  the  rank  grass  and  tall 
weeds  around.  The  gentle  murmur  was  the  only  sound 
that  broke  the  stillness  of  the  morning. 

A  few  deities  in  lead  and  stone,  mutilated  and  broken, 
stood  like  the  Genii  loci,  guarding  the  desolation  about  them, 
while  an  old  superannuated  peacock,  with  drooping,  ragged 


128  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

tail,  was  the  only  living  thing  to  be  seen.  All  bespoke  the 
wreck  of  what  once  was  great  and  noble,  and  all  plainly  told 
me  that  such  could  not  be  the  abode  of  the  Callonbys. 

Half  doubting  that  the  house  were  inhabited,  and  half 
scrupling,  if  so,  to  disturb  its  inmates  from  their  rest,  I  sat 
down  upon  the  terrace  steps  and  fell  into  a  lit  of  musing  on 
the  objects  about.  That  strange  propensity  of  my  country- 
men to  settle  down  in  remote  and  unfrequented  spots  upon 
the  Continent  had  never  struck  me  so  forcibly  ;  for  although 
unquestionably  there  were  evident  traces  of  the  former 
grandeur  of  the  place,  yet  it  was  a  long-past  greatness,  and 
in  the  dilapidated  walls,  weed-grown  walks,  the  dark  and 
gloomy  pine-groves,  there  were  more  hints  for  sadness  than 
I  should  willingly  surround  myself  by,  in  a  residence.  The 
harsh  grating  of  a  heavy  door  behind  roused  me ;  I  turned 
and  beheld  an  old  man  in  a  species  of  tarnished  and  worm- 
eaten  livery,  who,  holding  the  door,  again  gazed  at  me  with 
a  mingled  expression  of  fear  and  curiosity.  Having  briefly 
explained  the  circumstances  which  had  befallen  me,  and 
appealed  to  the  broken  caliche  upon  the  road  to  corroborate 
my  testimony,  which  I  perceived  needed  such  aid,  the  old 
man  invited  me  to  enter,  saying  that  his  master  and  mistress 
had  not  yet  risen,  but  that  he  would  himself  give  me  some 
breakfast,  of  which  by  this  time  I  stood  much  in  want. 
The  room  into  which  I  was  ushered  corresponded  well  with 
the  exterior  of  the  house.  It  was  large,  bleak,  and  ill-fur- 
nished ;  the  ample,  uncurtained  windows,  the  cold,  white- 
panelled  walls,  the  uncarpeted  floor,  all  giving  it  an  air  of 
uninhabitable  misery.  A  few  chairs  of  the  Louis-Quatorze 
taste,  with  blue  velvet  linings,  faded  and  worn,  a  cracked 
marble  table  upon  legs  that  once  had  been  gilt,  two  scarcely 
detectable  portraits  of  a  mail-clad  hero  and  a  scarcely  less 
formidable  fair  with  a  dove  upon  her  wrist,  formed  the 
principal  articles  of  furniture  in  this  dismal  abode,  where 
so  sad  and  depressing  did  everything  appear  that  I  half  re- 
gretted the  curiosity  that  had  tempted  me  from  the  balnry 
air  and  cheerful  morning  without,  to  the  gloom  and  solitude 
around  me. 


A  SUErRISE.  229 

The  old  man  soon  reappeared  with  a  not-despicable  cup 
of  cafe  noir  and  a  piece  of  bread  as  large  as  a  teaspoon,  and 
used  by  the  Germans  pretty  much  in  the  same  way.  As 
the  adage  of  the  "  gift  horse  "  is  of  tolerably  general  accep- 
tation, I  ate  and  was  thankful,  mingling  my  acknowledg- 
ments from  time  to  time  with  some  questions  about  the 
owners  of  the  mansion,  concerning  whom  I  could  not  help : 
feeling  curious.  The  ancient  servitor,  however,  knew  little 
or  nothing  of  those  he  served ;  his  master  was  the  honor- 
able baron,  but  of  his  name  he  was  ignorant ;  his  mistress 
was  young;  they  had  not  been  many  months  there;  they 
knew  no  one,  had  no  visitors ;  he  had  heard  they  were 
English,  but  did  not  know  it  himself;  they  were  gute 
Leute,  "  good  people,"  and  that  was  enough  for  him.  How 
strange  did  all  this  seem,  that  two  persons,  young,  too, 
should  separate  themselves  from  all  the  attractions  and 
pleasures  of  the  world  and  settle  down  in  this  dark  and 
dreary  solitude,  where  every  association  was  of  melancholy, 
every  object  a  text  for  sad  reflections.  Lost  in  these 
thoughts,  I  sat  clown  beside  the  window,  and  heeded  not 
the  old  man  as  he  noiselessly  left  the  room.  My  thoughts 
ran  on  over  the  strange  phases  in  which  life  presents  itself, 
and  how  little,  after  all,  external  influences  have  to  do  with 
that  peace  of  mind  whose  origin  is  within.  "  The  Indian, 
whose  wigwam  is  beside  the  cataract,  heeds  not  its  thunders 
nor  feels  its  sprays  as  they  fall  in  everlasting  dews  upon 
him;  the  Arab  of  the  desert  sees  no  bleakness  in  those 
never-ending  plains  upon  whose  horizon  his  eye  has  rested 
from  childhood  to  age.  Who  knows  but  he  who  inhabits 
this  lonely  dwelling  may  have  once  shone  in  the  gay  world, 
mixing  in  its  follies,  tasting  of  its  fascination  ?  And  to 
think  that  now  — "  The  low  murmurs  of  the  pine-tops, 
the  gentle  rustle  of  the  water  through  the  rank  grass,  and 
my  own  thoughts  combining,  overcame  me  at  length,  and  I 
slept,  —  how  long  I  know  not ;  but  when  I  awoke,  certain 
changes  about  showed  me  that  some  length  of  time  had 
elapsed :  a  gay  wood-fire  was  burning  on  the  hearth,  an 
ample  breakfast  covered  the  table,  and  the  broad  sheet  of 


230  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

the  "  Times  "  newspaper  was  negligently  reposing  in  the 
deep  hollow  of  an  arm-chair.  Before  I  had  well  thought 
how  to  apologize  for  the  cool  insouciance  of  my  intrusion, 
the  door  opened,  and  a  tall,  well-built  man  entered ;  his 
shooting-jacket  and  gaiters  were  evidence  of  his  English 
origin,  while  a  bushy  moustache  and  most  ample  "Henri 
Quatre  "  nearly  concealed  features  that  still  were  not  quite 
unknown  to  me.  He  stopped,  looked  steadily  at  me,  placed 
a  hand  on  either  shoulder,  and  calling  out,  "  Harry  —  Harr}- 
Lorrequer,  by  all  that 's  glorious  !  "  rushed  from  the  room  in 
a  transport  of  laughter. 

If  my  escape  from  the  gallows  depended  upon  my  guess- 
ing my  friend,  I  should  have  submitted  to  the  last  penalty 
of  the  law ;  never  was  I  so  completely  nonplussed.  "  Con- 
found him,  what  does  he  mean  by  running  away  in  that 
fashion!  It  would  serve  him  right  were  I  to  decamp  by 
one  of  the  windows  before  he  comes  back.  But  hark !  some 
one  is  approaching." 

"  I  tell  you  I  cannot  be  mistaken,"  said  the  man's  voice 
from  without. 

"  Oh,  impossible  !  "  said  a  ladylike  accent  that  seemed  not 
heard  by  me  for  the  first  time. 

"Judge  for  yourself,  —  though  certainly  the  last  time 
you  saw  him  may  confuse  your  memory  a  little." 

"  What  the  devil  does  he  mean  by  that  ?  "  said  I,  as  the 
door  opened  and  a  very  beautiful  young  woman  came  for- 
ward, who,  after  a  moment's  hesitation,  called  out,  — 

"  True,  indeed,  it  is  Mr.  Lorrequer ;  but  he  seems  to  have 
forgotten  me." 

The  eyes,  the  lips,  the  tone  of  the  voice,  were  all  familiar. 
"What!  can  it  be  possible?"  Her  companion,  who  had 
now  entered,  stood  behind  her.  holding  his  sides  with  ill- 
suppressed  mirth,  and  at  length  called  out,  — 

"  Harry,  my  boy,  you  scarcely  were  more  discomposed  the 
last  morning  we  parted,  when  the  yellow  plush  —  " 

"  By  Jove  it  is  ! "  said  I,  as  I  sprang  forward,  and  seizing 
my  fair  friend  in  my  arms,  saluted  upon  both  cheeks  my 
quondam  flame  Miss  Kamworth,  now  the  wife  of  my  old 


A  SURPRISE.  231 

friend,  Jack  Waller,  of  whom  I  have  made  due  mention  in 
an  early  chapter  of  these  "  Confessions." 

Were  I  given  a  muster-roll  of  my  acquaintance  to  say 
which  of  them  might  inhabit  this  deserted  mansion,  Jack 
Waller  would  certainly  have  been  the  last  I  should  have 
selected,  —  the  gay,  lively,  dashing,  high-spirited  Jack,  fond 
of  society,  dress,  equipage,  living  entirely  in  the  world, 
known  to  and  liked  by  everybody,  of  universal  reputation. 
Did  you  want  a  cavalier  to  see  your  wife  through  a  crush 
at  the  Opera,  a  friend  in  a  duel,  a  rider  for  your  kicking 
horse  in  a  stiff  steeplechase,  a  bow-oar  for  your  boat  at  a 
rowing-match,  Jack  was  your  man.  Such,  then,  was  my 
surprise  at  finding  him  here  that  although  there  were  many 
things  I  longed  to  inquire  about,  my  first  question  was,  — 

"  And  how  came  you  here  ?  " 

"  Life  has  its  vicissitudes,"  replied  Jack,  laughing  j  "  many 
stranger  things  have  come  to  pass  than  my  reformation. 
But  first  of  all  let  us  think  of  breakfast ;  you  shall  have 
ample  satisfaction  for  all  your  curiosity  afterwards." 

"  Not  now,  I  fear ;  I  am  hurrying  on  to  Munich." 

"  Oh,  I  perceive  !  But  you  are  aware  that  —  your  friends 
are  not  there." 

"  The  Callonbys  not  at  Munich !  "  said  I,  with  a  start. 

"  No,  they  have  been  at  Salzburg,  in  the  Tyrol,  for  some 
weeks.  But  don't  fret  yourself  ;  they  are  expected  to-mor- 
row in  time  for  the  court  masquerade,  so  that  until  then  at 
least  you  are  my  guest." 

Overjoyed  at  this  information,  I  turned  my  attention  to- 
wards Madame,  whom  I  found  much  improved ;  the  embon- 
point of  womanhood  had  still  further  increased  the  charms 
of  one  who  had  always  been  handsome,  and  I  could  not 
help  acknowledging  that  my  friend  was  warrantable  in  any 
scheme  for  securing  such  a  prize. 


CHAPTER   XXVII. 

JACK    WALLER'S    STORY. 

The  day  passed  quickly  over  with  my  newly  found  friends, 
whose  curiosity  to  learn  my  adventures  since  we  parted  an- 
ticipated me  in  my  wish  to  learn  theirs.  After  an  early 
dinner,  however,  with  a  fresh  log  upon  the  hearth,  a  crusty 
flask  of  red  hermitage  before  us,  Jack  and  I  found  ourselves 
alone  and  at  liberty  to  speak  freely  together. 

"I  scarcely  could  have  expected  such  would  be  our  meet- 
ing, Jack,"  said  I,  "  from  the  way  we  last  parted." 

"  Yes,  by  Jove,  Harry,  I  believe  I  behaved  but  shabbily 
to  you  in  that  affair ;  but  '  Love  and  War,'  you  know,  — 
and,  besides,  we  had  a  distinct  agreement  drawn  up  between 
us." 

"  All  true ;  and,  after  all,  you  are  perhaps  less  to  blame 
than  my  own  miserable  fortune  that  lies  in  wait  to  entrap 
and  disappoint  me  at  every  turn  in  life.  Tell  me,  what  do 
you  know  of  the  Callonbys  ?  " 

"  Nothing  personally.  We  have  met  them  at  dinner,  a  visit 
passed  subsequently  between  us,  et  voila  tout ;  they  have 
been  scenery  hunting,  picture  hunting,  and  all  that  sort  of 
thing  since  their  arrival,  and  rarely  much  in  Munich.  But 
how  do  you  stand  there  ?     '  To  be,  or  not  to  be,'  eh  ?  " 

"That  is  the  very  question  of  all  others  I  would  fain 
solve,  and  yet  am  in  most  complete  ignorance  of  all  about 
it ;  but  the  time  approaches  which  must  decide  all.  I  have 
neither  temper  nor  patience  for  further  contemplation  of  it. 
So  here  goes  :  '  Success  to  the  Enterprise.'  " 

"  Or,"  said  Jack,  tossing  off  his  glass  at  the  moment,  "  or, 
as  they  would  say  in  Ireland,  '  Your  health  and  inclinations, 
if  they  be  virtuous.' " 


JACK  WALLER'S  STORY.  233 

"And  now,  Jack,  tell  me  something  of  your  own  fortunes 
since  the  day  you  passed  me  in  the  post-chaise  and  four." 

"The  story  is  soon  told.  You  remember  that  when  I 
carried  off  Mary,  I  had  no  intention  of  leaving  England 
whatever ;  my  object  was,  after  making  her  my  wife,  to 
open  negotiations  with  the  old  Colonel,  and  after  the  ap- 
proved routine  of  penitential  letters,  imploring  forgiveness 
and  setting  forth  happiness  only  wanting  his  sanction  to 
make  it  heaven  itself,  to  have  thrown  ourselves  at  his  feet 
selon  les  regies,  sobbed,  blubbered,  blew  our  noses,  and 
dressed  for  dinner,  very  comfortable  inmates  of  that  par- 
ticularly snug  residence,  '  Hydrabad  Cottage.'  Now,  Mary, 
who  behaved  with  great  courage  for  a  couple  of  days  after 
that,  got  low-spirited  and  depressed ;  the  desertion  of  her 
father,  as  she  called  it,  weighed  upon  her  mind,  and  all  my 
endeavors  to  rally  and  comfort  her  were  fruitless  and  un- 
availing. Each  day,  however,  I  expected  to  hear  something 
of  or  from  the  Colonel  that  would  put  an  end  to  this  feel- 
ing of  suspense,  —  but  no,  three  weeks  rolled  on  ;  although 
I  took  care  that  he  knew  of  our  address,  we  never  received 
any  communication.  You  are  aware  that  when  I  married 
I  knew  Mary  had,  or  was  to  have  had,  a  large  fortune,  and 
that  I  myself  had  not  then  enough  in  the  world  to  pay  the 
common  expenses  of  our  wedding-tour.  My  calculation  was 
this :  the  reconciliation  will  possibly,  what  with  delays  of 
post,  distance,  and  deliberation,  take  a  month,  —  say  five 
weeks;  now,  at  forty  pounds  per  week,  that  makes  exactly 
two  hundred  pounds,  —  such  being  the  precise  limit  of  my 
exchequer  when,  blessed  with  a  wife,  a  man,  and  a  maid,  three 
imperials,  a  cap-case,  and  a  poodle,  I  arrived  at  the  Royal 
Hotel  in  Edinburgh.  Had  I  been  Lord  Francis  Somebody, 
with  his  hundred  thousand  a  year,  looking  for  a  new  '  dis- 
traction '  at  any  price,  or  still  more,  were  I  a  London  shop- 
keeper spending  a  Sunday  in  Boulogne-sur-Mer,  and  trying 
to  find  out  something  '  expensive,  as  he  had  only  one  day 
to  stay,'  I  could  not  have  more  industriously  sought  out 
opportunities  for  extravagance ;  and  each  day  contrived  to 
find  out  some  two  or  three  acquaintances  to  bring  home  to 


234  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

dinner.  And  as  I  affected  to  have  been  married  for  a  long 
time,  Mary  felt  less  awkward  among  strangers,  and  we  got 
on  famously ;  still,  the  silence  of  the  Colonel  weighed  upon 
her  mind,  and  although  she  partook  of  none  of  my  anxie- 
ties from  that  source,  being  perfectly  ignorant  of  the  state 
of  my  finances,  she  dwelt  so  constantly  upon  this  subject 
that  I  at  length  yielded  to  her  repeated  solicitations  and 
permitted  her  to  write  to  her  father.  Her  letter  was  a 
most  proper  one,  combining  a  dutiful  regret  for  leaving 
her  home,  with  the  hope  that  her  choice  had  been  such 
as  to  excuse  her  rashness,  or  at  least  palliate  her  fault.  It 
went  to  say  that  her  father's  acknowledgment  of  her  was 
all  she  needed  or  cared  for  to  complete  her  happiness,  and 
asking  for  his  permission  to  seek  it  in  person.  This  was 
the  substance  of  the  letter,  which,  upon  the  whole,  satisfied 
me,  and  I  waited  anxiously  for  the  reply.  At  the  end  of 
five  days  the  answer  arrived.     It  was  thus  :  — 

Dear  Mary,  —  You  have  chosen  your  own  path  in  life,  and  hav- 
ing done  so,  I  have  neither  the  right  nor  inclination  to  interfere  with 
your  decision ;  I  shall  neither  receive  you  nor  the  person  you  have 
made  your  husband  ;  and  to  prevent  any  further  disappointment,  in- 
form you  that  as  I  leave  this  to-morrow,  any  future  letters  you  might 
think  proper  to  address  will  not  reach, 

Yours  very  faithfully, 

C.  Kamworth. 
Hydrabad  Cottage. 

"  This  was  a  tremendous  coup,  and  not  in  the  least  antici- 
pated by  either  of  us.  Upon  me  the  effect  was  stunning, 
knowing,  as  I  did,  that  our  fast-diminishing  finances  were 
nearly  expended.  Mary,  on  the  other  hand,  who  neither 
knew  nor  thought  of  the  exchequer,  rallied  at  once  from  her 
depression,  and  after  a  hearty  fit  of  crying,  dried  her  eyes, 
and  putting  her  arm  round  my  neck,  said,  — 

"  <  Well,  Jack,  I  must  only  love  you  the  more,  since  papa 
will  not  share  any  of  my  affection.' 

"  <  I  wash  he  would  his  purse,  though,'  muttered  I,  as  I 
pressed  her  in  my  arms  and  strove  to  seem  perfectly  happy. 

"  I  shall  not  prolong  my  story  by  dwelling  upon  the  agita- 


JACK  WALLER'S   STORY.  235 

tion  this  letter  cost  me;  however,  I  had  yet  a  hundred 
pounds  left  and  an  aunt  in  Harley  Street,  with  whom  I  had 
always  been  a  favorite.  This  thought  —  the  only  rallying 
one  I  possessed  —  saved  me  for  the  time  ;  and  as  fretting  was 
never  my  forte,  I  never  let  Mary  perceive  that  anything  had 
gone  wrong,  and  managed  so  well  in  this  respect  that  my 
good  spirits  raised  hers,  and  we  set  out  for  London  one  fine 
sunshiny  morning  as  happy  a  looking  couple  as  ever  trav- 
elled the  north  road. 

"  When  we  arrived  at  the  Clarendon,  my  first  care  was 
to  get  into  a  cab  and  drive  to  Harley  Street.  I  rang  the 
bell;  and  not  waiting  to  ask  if  my  aunt  was  at  home,  I 
dashed  upstairs  to  the  drawing-room.  In  I  bolted ;  and 
instead  of  the  precise  old  Lady  Lilford,  sitting  at  her  em- 
broidery, with  her  fat  ppodle  beside  her,  beheld  a  strapping- 
looking  fellow,  with  a  black  moustache,  making  fierce  love 
to  a  young  lady  on  the  sofa  beside  him. 

« '  Why,  how  is  this  ?  I  really  —  there  must  be  some 
mistake  here.'  In  my  heart  I  knew  that  such  doings  in  my 
good  aunt's  dwelling  were  impossible. 

"  1 1  should  suspect  there  is,  sir,'  drawled  out  he  of  the 
moustache,  as  he  took  a  very  cool  survey  of  me  through  his 
glass. 

" '  Is  Lady  Lilford  at  home,  may  I  ask  ? '  said  I,  in  a  very 
apologetic  tone  of  voice. 

" '  I  have  n't  the  honor  of  her  ladyship's  acquaintance,' 
replied  he,  in  a  lisp,  evidently  enjoying  my  perplexity,  which 
was  every  moment  becoming  more  evident. 

" '  But  this  is  her  house,'  said  I ;   'at  least  —  ' 

" '  Lady  Lilford  is  at  Paris,  sir,'  said  the  young  lady,  who 
now  spoke  for  the  first  time.  '  Papa  has  taken  the  house 
for  the  season,  and  that  may  perhaps  account  for  your 
mistake.' 

"  What  I  muttered  by  way  of  apology  for  my  intrusion,  I 
know  not ;  but  I  stammered,  the  young  lady  blushed,  the 
beau  chuckled  and  turned  to  the  window,  and  when  I  found 
myself  in  the  street,  I  scarcely  knew  whether  to  laugh  at 
my  blunder  or  curse  my  disappointment. 


2oG  IIARRY  LORREQUER. 

"  The  next  morning  I  called  upon  my  aunt's  lawyer,  and 
having  obtained  her  address  in  Paris,  sauntered  to  the 
'  Junior  Club  '  to  write  her  a  letter  before  post-hour.  As  I 
scanned  over  the  morning  papers,  I  could  not  help  smiling 
at  the  flaming  paragraph  which  announced  my  marriage  to 
the  only  daughter  and  heiress  of  the  millionnaire  Colonel 
Kamworth.  Not  well  knowing  how  to  open  the  correspon- 
dence with  my  worthy  relative,  I  folded  the  paper  contain- 
ing the  news,  and  addressed  it  to  'Lady  Lilford,  Hotel  de 
Bristol,  Paris.' 

"  When  I  arrived  at  the  Clarendon,  I  found  my  wife  and 
her  maid  surrounded  by  cases  and  bandboxes ;  laces,  satins, 
and  velvets  were  displayed  on  all  sides,  while  an  emissary 
from  Storr  and  Mortimer  was  arranging  a  grand  review  of 
jewelry  on  a  side-table,  one  half  of  which  would  have 
ruined  the  Rajah  of  Mysore  to  purchase.  My  advice  was 
immediately  called  into  recpuisition ;  and  pressed  into  ser- 
vice, I  had  nothing  left  for  it  but  to  canvass,  criticise,  and 
praise,  between  times,  which  I  did  with  a  good  grace,  con- 
sidering that  I  anticipated  the  '  Fleet '  for  every  flounce  of 
Valenciennes  lace,  and  could  not  help  associating  a  rich 
diamond  aigrette  with  hard  labor  for  life  and  the  climate 
of  New  South  Wales.  The  utter  abstraction  I  was  in  led 
to  some  awkward  contretemps,  and  as  my  wife's  enthusiasm 
for  her  purchases  increased,  so  did  my  revery  gain  ground. 

"  '  Is  it  not  beautiful,  Jack  ?  How  delicately  worked  ! 
It  must  have  taken  a  long  time  to  do  it.' 

" '  Seven  years,'  I  muttered,  as  my  thoughts  ran  upon  a 
very  different  topic. 

"  '  Oh,  no,  not  so  much ! '  said  she,  laughing ;  '  and  it 
must  be  such  a  hard  thing  to  do.' 

"  <  Not  half  so  hard  as  carding  wool  or  pounding  oyster- 
shells.' 

"'How  absurd  you  are!     Well,  I'll  take   this;  it  will 

look  so  well  in  — ' 

" '  Botany  Bay,'  said  I,  with  a  sigh  that  set  all  the  party 
laughing,  which  at  last  roused  me  and  enabled  me  to  join  in 
the  joke. 


JACK  WALLER'S   STORY.  237 

"As  at  length  one  half  of  the  room  became  filled  with 
millinery  and  the  other  glittered  with  jewels  and  bijouterie, 
my  wife  grew  weary  with  her  exertions,  and  we  found  our- 
selves alone. 

"  When  I  told  her  that  my  aunt  had  taken  up  her  resi- 
dence in  Paris,  it  immediately  occurred  to  her  how  pleasant 
it  would  be  to  go  there  too ;  and  although  I  concurred  in 
the  opinion  for  very  different  reasons,  it  was  at  length  de- 
cided that  we  should  do  so ;  and  the  only  difficulty  now  ex- 
isted as  to  the  means,  as  though  the  daily  papers  teemed 
with  '  four  ways  to  go  from  London  to  Paris,'  they  all  re- 
solved themselves  into  one,  and  that  one,  unfortunately,  to 
me  the  most  difficult  and  impracticable,  —  by  money. 

"  There  was,  however,  one  last  resource  open,  —  the  sale 
of  my  commission.  I  will  not  dwell  upon  what  it  cost  me 
to  resolve  upon  this ;  the  determination  was  a  painful  one, 
but  it  was  soon  come  to,  and  before  five  o'clock  that  day, 
Cox  and  Greenwood  had  got  their  instructions  to  sell  out 
for  me,  and  had  advanced  a  thousand  pounds  of  the  pur- 
chase. Our  bill  settled,  the  waiters  bowing  to  the  ground 
(it  is  your  ruined  man  that  is  always  the  most  liberal),  the 
post-horses  harnessed,  and  impatient  for  the  road,  I  took 
my  place  beside  my  wife,  while  my  valet  held  a  parasol 
over  the  soubrette  in  the  rumble,  —  all  in  the  approved 
fashion  of  those  who  have  an  unlimited  credit  with  Coutts 
or  Drummond,  —  the  whips  cracked,  the  leaders  capered, 
and  with  a  patronizing  bow  to  the  proprietor  of  the  Clar- 
endon, away  we  rattled  to  Dover. 

"After  the  usual  routine  of  sea-sickness,  fatigue,  and 
poisonous  cookery,  we  reached  Paris  on  the  fifth  day,  and 
put  up  at  the  Hotel  de  Londres,  Place  Vendome. 

"  To  have  an  adequate  idea  of  the  state  of  my  feelings  as 
I  trod  the  splendid  apartments  of  this  princely  hotel,  sur- 
rounded by  every  luxury  that  wealth  can  procure  or  taste 
suggest,  you  must  imagine  the  condition  of  a  man  who  is 
regaled  with  a  sumptuous  banquet  on  the  eve  of  his  execu- 
tion. The  inevitable  termination  to  all  my  present  splen- 
dor was  never  for  a  moment  absent  from  my  thoughts,  and 


238  IIARRY   LORREQUER. 

the  secrecy  with  which  I  was  obliged  to  conceal  my  feelings 
formed  one  of  the  greatest  sources  of  my  misery.  '  The 
coup,  when  it  does  come,  will  be  sad  enough,  and  poor  Mary 
may  as  well  have  the  comfort  of  the  deception  as  long  as  it 
lasts,  without  suffering  as  I  do.'  Such  was  the  reasoning 
by  which  I  met  every  resolve  to  break  to  her  the  real 
state  of  our  finances,  and  such  the  frame  of  mind  in  which 
I  spent  my  days  at  Paris,  — the  only  really  unhappy  ones 
I  can  ever  charge  my  memory  with. 

"  We  had  scarcely  got  settled  in  the  hotel  when  my  aunt, 
who  inhabited  the  opposite  side  of  the  Place,  came  over 
to  see  us  and  wish  us  joy.  She  had  seen  the  paragraph  in 
the  '  Post,'  and,  like  all  other  people  with  plenty  of  money, 
fully  approved  a  match  like  mine. 

"  She  was  delighted  with  Mary,  and  despite  the  natural 
reserve  of  the  old  maiden  lady,  became  actually  cordial,  and 
invited  us  to  dine  with  her  that  day,  and  every  succeeding 
one  we  might  feel  disposed  to  do  so.  'So  far  so  well,' 
thought  I,  as  I  offered  her  my  arm  to  see  her  home ;  '  but  if 
she  knew  of  what  value  even  this  small  attention  is  to  us, 
am  I  quite  so  sure  she  would  offer  it  ?  However,  no  time  is 
to  be  lost ;  I  cannot  live  in  this  state  of  hourly  agitation  ;  I 
must  make  some  one  the  confidant  of  my  sorrows  ;  and  none 
so  fit  as  she  who  can  relieve  as  well  as  advise  upon  them.' 
Although  such  was  my  determination,  yet  somehow  I  could 
not  pluck  up  courage  for  the  effort.  My  aunt's  congratula- 
tions upon  my  good  luck  made  me  shrink  from  the  avowal ; 
and  while  she  ran  on  upon  the  beauty  and  grace  of  my  wife, 
—  topics  I  fully  concurred  in,  —  I  almost  chimed  in  with 
her  satisfaction  at  the  prudential  and  proper  motives  which 
led  to  the  match.  Twenty  times  I  was  on  the  eve  of  inter- 
rupting her  and  saying,  {  But,  madam,  I  am  a  beggar ;  my 
wife  has  not  a  shilling;  I  have  absolutely  nothing;  her 
father  disowns  us ;  my  commission  is  sold ;  and  in  three 
weeks  the  Hotel  de  Londres  and  the  Palais  Royal  will  be 
some  hundred  pounds  the  richer,  and  I  without  the  fare  of 
a  cab  to  drive  me  down  to  the  Seine  to  drown  myself.' 

(i  Such  were  my  thoughts ;  but  whenever  I  endeavored  to 


JACK   WALLER'S  STORY.  239 

speak  them,  some  confounded  fulness  in  my  throat  nearly 
choked  me,  my  temples  throbbed,  my  hands  trembled ;  and 
whether  it  was  shame  or  the  sickness  of  despair,  I  cannot 
say,  but  the  words  would  not  come,  and  all  that  I  could  get 
out  was  some  flattery  of  my  wife's  beauty,  or  some  vapid 
eulogy  upon  my  own  cleverness  in  securing  such  a  prize. 
To  give  you  in  one  brief  sentence  an  idea  of  my  state, 
Harry,  know,  then,  that  though  loving  Mary  with  all  my 
heart  and  soul,  as  I  felt  she  deserved  to  be  loved,  fifty 
times  a  day  I  would  have  given  my  life  itself  that  you  had 
been  the  successful  man  on  the  morning  that  I  carried  her 
off,  and  that  Jack  Waller  was  once  more  a  bachelor,  to  see 
the  only  woman  he  ever  loved  the  wife  of  another. 

"  But  this  is  growing  tedious,  Harry  ;  I  must  get  over  the 
ground  faster.  Two  months  passed  over  at  Paris,  during 
which  we  continued  to  live  at  the  Londres,  giving  dinners, 
soirees,  dejeuners.  With  the  prettiest  equipage  in  the 
Champs  Elys^es,  we  were  quite  the  mode ;  for  my  wife  — 
which  is  rare  enough  for  an  Englishwoman  —  knew  how 
to  dress  herself.  Our  evening-parties  were  the  most  dis- 
tinguished things  going,  and  if  I  were  capable  of  partaking 
of  any  pleasure  in  the  eclat,  I  had  my  share,  having  won  all 
the  pigeon-matches  in  the  Bois  de  Boulogne,  and  beat  Lord 
Henry  Seymour  himself  in  a  steeplechase.  The  continual 
round  of  occupation  in  which  pleasure  involves  a  man  is 
certainly  its  greatest  attraction,  —  reflection  is  impossible  ; 
the  present  is  too  full  to  admit  any  of  the  past,  and  very 
little  of  the  future ;  and  even  I,  with  all  my  terrors  await- 
ing me,  began  to  feel  a  half  indifference  to  the  result  in  the 
manifold  cares  of  my  then  existence.  To  this  state  of  fatal- 
ism —  for  such  it  was  becoming  —  had  I  arrived,  when  the 
vision  was  dispelled  in  a  moment  by  a  visit  from  my  aunt, 
who  came  to  say  that,  some  business  requiring  her  imme- 
diate presence  in  London,  she  was  to  set  out  that  evening, 
but  hoped  to  find  us  in  Paris  on  her  return.  I  was  thunder- 
struck at  the  news.  Although  as  yet  I  had  obtained  no 
manner  of  assistance  from  the  old  lady,  yet  I  felt  that  her 
very  presence  was  a  kind  of  security  to  us,  and  that  in 


240  HARRY  LORREQTJER. 

every  sudden  emergency  she  was  there  to  apply  to.  My 
money  was  nearly  expended,  the  second  and  last  instalment 
of  my  commission  was  all  that  remained,  and  much  of  even 
that  I  owed  to  tradespeople.  I  now  resolved  to  speak  out. 
'  The  worst  must  be  known,'  thought  I,  '  in  a  few  days,  and 
now  or  never  be  it.'  So  saying,  I  drew  my  aunt's  arm 
within  my  own,  and  telling  her  that  I  wished  a  few  min- 
utes' conversation  alone,  led  her  to  one  of  the  less  fre- 
tpiented  walks  in  the  Tuileries  gardens.  When  we  had  got 
sufficiently  far  to  be  removed  from  all  listeners,  I  began 
thus :  '  My  dearest  aunt,  what  I  have  suffered  in  concealing 
from  you  so  long  the  subject  of  my  present  confession,  will 
plead  as  my  excuse  in  not  making  you  sooner  my  confi- 
dant.' When  I  had  got  thus  far,  the  agitation  of  my  aunt 
was  such  that  I  could  not  venture  to  say  more  for  a  minute 
or  two.  At  length  she  said,  in  a  kind  of  hurried  whisper, 
*  Go  on ; '  and  although  then  I  would  have  given  all  I  pos- 
sessed in  the  world  to  have  continued,  I  could  not  speak  a 
word. 

"  '  Dear  John,  what  is  it  ?  Anything  about  Mary  ?  For 
Heaven's  sake,  speak  ! ' 

" '  Yes,  dearest  aunt,  it  is  about  Mary,  and  entirely  about 
Mary.' 

" '  Ah,  dear  me !  I  feared  it  long  since ;  but  then,  John, 
consider,  she  is  very  handsome,  very  much  admired,  and  — ' 

" '  That  makes  it  all  the  heavier,  my  dear  aunt ;  the 
prouder  her  present  position,  the  more  severely  will  she 
feel  the  reverse.' 

"  '  Oh  !  but  surely,  John,  your  fears  must  exaggerate  the 
danger.' 

"  ' Nothing  of  the  kind,  —  I  have  not  words  to  tell  you.' 

" '  Oh,  dear,  oh,  dear !  don't  say  so,'  said  the  old  lad}', 
blushing ;  '  for  though  I  have  often  remarked  a  kind  of  gay 
flirting  manner  she  has  with  men,  I  am  sure  she  means 
nothing  by  it;  she  is  so  young  and  so  — ' 

"I  stopped,  stepped  forward,  and  looking  straight  into 
my  aunt's  face,  broke  out  into  a  fit  of  laughter,  so  that  she, 
mistaking  it  for  hysterical  from  its  violence,  nearly  fainted 
upon  the  spot. 


JACK  WALLER'S  STOEY.  241 

"  As  soon  as  I  could  sufficiently  recover  gravity  to  explain 
to  my  aunt  her  mistake,  I  endeavored  to  do  so ;  but  so 
ludicrous  was  the  contretemps,  and  so  ashamed  the  old  lady 
for  her  gratuitous  suspicions,  that  she  would  not  listen  to 
a  word,  and  begged  me  to  return  to  her  hotel.  Such  an 
unexpected  turn  to  my  commuuicatiou  routed  all  my  plans ; 
and  after  a  very  awkward  silence  of  some  minutes  on  both 
sides,  I  mumbled  something  about  her  expensive  habits  of 
life,  costly  equipage,  number  of  horses,  etc.,  and  hinted  at 
the  propriety  of  retrenchment. 

" '  Mary  rides  beautifully,'  said  my  aunt,  dryly. 

" '  Yes ;  but,  my  dear  aunt,  it  was  not  exactly  of  that  I 
was  going  to  speak,  for,  in  fact  — ' 

" '  Oh  !  John,'  said  she,  interrupting,  '  I  know  your  deli- 
cacy too  well  to  suspect;  but,  in  fact,  I  have  myself  per- 
ceived what  you  allude  to,  and  wished  very  much  to  have 
some  conversation  with  you  on  the  subject.' 

"  '  Thank  God ! '  said  I  to  myself ;  '  at  length  we  under- 
stand each  other,  and  the  ice  is  broken  at  last.' 

" '  Indeed,  I  think  I  have  anticipated  your  wish  in  the 
matter ;  but  as  time  presses,  and  I  must  look  after  all  my 
packing,  I  shall  say  good- by  for  a  few  weeks ;  and  in  the 
evening,  Jepson,  who  stays  here,  will  bring  you  what  I  mean 
over  to  your  hotel.     Once  more,  then,  good  by ! ' 

" '  Good  by,  my  dearest,  kindest  friend ! '  said  I,  taking 
a  most  tender  adieu  of  the  old  lady.  '  What  an  excellent 
creature  she  is ! '  said  I,  half  aloud,  as  I  turned  towards 
home;  'how  considerate,  how  truly  kind,  to  spare  me,  too, 
all  the  pain  of  explanation.  Now  I  begin  to  breathe  once 
more.  If  there  be  a  flask  of  Johannisberg  in  the  Londres, 
I'll  drink  your  health  this  day,  and  so  shall  Mary.'  So 
saying,  I  entered  the  hotel  with  a  lighter  heart  and  a  firmer 
step  than  ever  it  had  been  my  fortune  to  do  hitherto. 

"  '  We  shall  miss  the  old  lady,  I  'm  sure,  Mary,  she  is  so 
kind.' 

" '  Oh !  indeed  she  is ;  but  then,  John,  she  is  such  a 
prude.' 

"  Now,  I  could  not  help  recurring  in  my  mind  to  some  of 

VOL.  II.  — 16 


242  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

the  conversation  in  the  Tuileries  gardens,  and  did  not  feel 
exactly  at  ease. 

"  '  Such  a  prude,  and  so  very  old-fashioned  in  her  notions.' 

"  'Yes,  Mary,'  said  I,  with  more  gravity  than  she  was  pre- 
pared for,  'she  is  a  prude;  but  I  am  not  certain  that  in 
foreign  society,  where  less  liberties  are  tolerated  than  in 
our  country,  such  a  bearing  be  not  wiser.'  What  I  was 
going  to  plunge  into,  Heaven  knows ;  for  the  waiter  entered 
at  the  moment,  and  presenting  me  with  a  large  and  carefully 
sealed  package,  said,  '  De  la  part  de  Miladi  Li/fore.'  'But 
stay,  here  comes,  if  I  am  not  mistaken,  a  better  eulogy 
upon  my  dear  aunt  than  any  I  can  pronounce.' 

"  <  How  heavy  it  is,'  said  I  to  myself,  balancing  the  par- 
cel in  my  hand.  '  There  is  no  answer,'  said  I  aloud  to  the 
waiter,  who  stood  as  if  expecting  one. 

"  '  The  servant  wishes  to  have  some  acknowledgment  in 
writing,  sir,  that  it  has  been  delivered  into  your  own  hands.' 

" '  Send  him  here,  then,'  said  I. 

"  Jepson  entered.  '  Well,  George,  your  parcel  is  all  rigid, 
and  here  is  a  napoleon  to  drink  my  health.' 

"Scarcely  had  the  servants  left  the  room  when  Mary, 
whose  curiosity  was  fully  roused,  rushed  over  and  tried  to 
get  the  packet  from  me.  After  a  short  struggle  I  yielded, 
and  she  flew  to  the  end  of  the  room,  and  tearing  open  the 
seals,  several  papers  fell  to  the  ground.  Before  I  could 
have  time  to  snatch  them  up,  she  had  read  some  lines  writ- 
ten on  the  envelope,  and  turning  towards  me,  threw  her 
arms  round  my  neck  and  said,  '  Yes,  Jack,  she  is  indeed  all 
you  have  said.  Look  here  ! '  I  turned  and  read,  with  what 
feeling  I  leave  to  you  to  guess,  the  following  ;  — 

Dear  Nephew  and  Niece,  —  The  enclosed  will  convey  to  you, 
with  my  warmest  wishes  for  your  happiness,  a  ticket  on  the  Frank- 
fort Lottery,  of  which  I  enclose  the  scheme.  I  also  take  the  oppor- 
tunity of  saying  that  I  have  purchased  the  Hungarian  pony  for  Mary, 
which  we  spoke  of  this  morning.  It  is  at  Johnston's  stable,  and  will 
be  delivered  on  sending  for  it. 

"  <  Think  of  that,  Jack,  —  the  Borghese  pony,  with  the 
gilky  tail,  mine !     Oh,  what  a  dear,  good  old  soul !     It  was 


JACK  WALLER'S  STORY.  243 

the  very  thing  of  all  others  I  longed  for,  for  they  told  me 
the  princess  had  refused  every  offer  for  it.' 

"  While  Mary  ran  on  in  this  strain,  I  sat  mute  and  stupe- 
fied ;  the  sudden  reverse  my  hopes  had  sustained  deprived 
me  for  a  moment  of  all  thought,  and  it  was  several  minutes 
before  I  could  rightly  take  in  the  full  extent  of  my  mis- 
fortunes. 

"  How  that  crazy  old  maid  —  for  such,  alas  !  I  called  her 
to  myself  now  —  could  have  so  blundered  all  my  meaning, 
how  she  could  so  palpably  have  mistaken,  I  could  not  con- 
ceive. What  a  remedy  for  a  man  overwhelmed  with  debt,  — 
a  ticket  in  a  German  lottery  and  a  cream-colored  pony !  As 
if  my  whole  life  had  not  been  one  continued  lottery,  with 
every  day  a  blank ;  and  as  to  horses,  I  had  eleven  in  my 
stables  already.  Perhaps  she  thought  twelve  would  read 
better  in  my  schedule,  when  I,  next  week,  surrendered  as 
insolvent.' 

"  Unable  to  bear  the  delight,  the  childish  delight,  of  Mary 
on  her  new  acquisition,  I  rushed  out  of  the  house  and  wan- 
dered for  several  hours  on  the  Boulevards.  At  last  I  sum- 
moned up  courage  to  tell  my  wife.  I  once  more  turned 
towards  home  and  entered  her  dressing-room,  where  she 
was  having  her  hair  dressed  for  a  ball  at  the  Embassy.  My 
resolution  failed  me.  '  Not  now,'  thought  I ;  '  to-morrow 
will  do  as  well.  One  night  more  of  happiness  for  her,  and 
then  — '  I  looked  on  with  pleasure  and  pride  as  ornament 
after  ornament,  brilliant  with  diamonds  and  emeralds,  shone 
in  her  hair  and  upon  her  arms,  still  heightening  her  beauty 
and  lighting  up  with  a  dazzling  brilliancy  her  lovely  figure. 
'  But  then  it  must  come,  and  whenever  the  hour  arrives,  the 
reverse  will  be  fully  as  bitter ;  besides,  I  am  able  now,  and 
when  I  may  again  be  so,  who  can  tell  ?  Now  then  be  it,' 
said  I  as  I  told  the  waiting-maid  to  retire  ;  and  taking  a 
chair  beside  my  wife,  put  my  arm  round  her. 

"  '  There,  John,  dearest,  take  care  ;  don't  you  see  you  '11 
crush  all  that  great  affair  of  Malines  lace  which  Rosetta  has 
been  breaking  her  heart  to  manage  this  half  hour  ? ' 

"'Mpuis?'  said  I. 


244  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

" '  Et  puis  I  could  not  go  to  the  ball,  naughty  boy.  I  am 
bent  on  great  conquest  to-night;  so  pray  don't  mar  such 
good  intentions.' 

" '  And  would  be  greatly  disappointed  were  you  not  to 
go?' 

"  '  Of  course  I  should.  But  what  do  you  mean,  —  is  there 
any  reason  why  I  should  not  ?  You  are  silent,  John ;  speak, 
oh,  speak !     Has  anything  occurred  to  my  — ' 

"  '  No,  no,  dearest ;  nothing  that  I  know  has  occurred  to 
the  Colonel.' 

"  '  Well,  then,  who  is  it  ?     Oh,  tell  me  at  once  ! ' 

"  '  Oh  !  my  dear,  there  is  no  one  in  the  case  but  ourselves.' 
So  saying,  despite  the  injunction  about  the  lace,  I  drew  her 
towards  me,  and  in  as  few  words,  but  as  clearly  as  I  was 
able,  explained  all  our  circumstances,  —  my  endeavor  to 
better  them,  my  hopes,  my  fears,  and  now  my  bitter  disap- 
pointment, if  not  despair. 

"  The  first  shock  over,  Mary  showed  not  only  more  courage, 
but  more  sound  sense  than  I  could  have  believed.  All  the 
frivolity  of  her  former  character  vanished  at  the  first  touch 
of  adversity,  —  just  as  of  old,  Harry,  we  left  the  tinsel  of 
our  gay  jackets  behind  when  active  service  called  upon  us 
for  something  more  sterling.  She  advised,  counselled,  and 
encouraged  me  by  turns ;  and  in  half  an  hour  the  most 
poignant  regret  I  had  was  in  not  having  sooner  made  her 
my  confidant,  and  checked  the  progress  of  our  enormous 
expenditure  somewhat  earlier. 

"  I  shall  not  detain  you  much  longer.  In  three  weeks  we 
had  sold  our  carriages  and  horses,  our  pictures  (we  had  be- 
gun this  among  our  extravagances),  and  soon  after  our  china 
followed  ;  and  under  the  plea  of  ill-health  we  set  out  for 
Baden,  not  one  among  our  Paris  acquaintances  ever  sus- 
pecting the  real  reason  of  our  departure,  and  never  attrib- 
uting any  pecuniary  difficulties  to  us,  —  for  we  paid  our 
debts. 

"  The  same  day  we  left  Paris  I  despatched  a  letter  to  my 
aunt,  explaining  fully  all  about  us,  and  suggesting  that  as  I 
had  now  left  the  army  forever,  perhaps  she  would  interest 


JACK  WALLER'S   STORY.  245 

some  of  her  friends  —  and  she  had  powerful  ones  —  to  do 
something  for  me. 

"  After  some  little  loitering  on  the  Rhine,  we  fixed  upon 
Hesse-Cassel  for  our  residence.  It  was  very  quiet,  very- 
cheap  ;  the  country  around  picturesque,  and  last,  but  not 
least,  there  was  not  an  Englishman  in  the  neighborhood. 
The  second  week  after  our  arrival  brought  us  letters  from 
my  aunt.  She  had  settled  four  hundred  a  year  upon  us  for 
the  present,  and  sent  the  first  year  in  advance  ;  and  pledg- 
ing herself  not  to  forget  when  an  opportunity  of  serving  me 
should  offer,  promised  us  a  visit  as  soon  as  we  were  ready 
to  receive  her. 

"  From  that  moment  to  this,"  said  Jack,  "  all  has  gone 
well  with  us.  We  have,  it  is  true,  not  many  luxuries,  but 
we  have  no  wants,  and,  better  still,  no  debts.  The  dear  old 
aunt  is  always  making  us  some  little  present  or  other,  and 
somehow  I  have  a  kind  of  feeling  that  better  luck  is  still  in 
store.  But  faith,  Harry,  as  long  as  I  have  a  happy  home 
and  a  warm  fireside  for  a  friend  when  he  drops  in  upon  me, 
I  scarcely  can  say  that  better  luck  need  be  wished  for." 

"  There  is  only  one  point,  Jack,  you  have  not  enlightened 
me  upon,  —  how  came  you  here  ?  You  are  some  hundred 
miles  from  Hesse  in  your  present  chateau." 

"  Oh !  by  Jove,  that  was  a  great  omission  in  my  narra- 
tive ;  but  come,  this  will  explain  it.  See  here."  So  saying, 
he  drew  from  a  little  drawer  a  large  lithographic  print  of  a 
magnificent  castellated  building,  with  towers  and  bastions, 
keep,  moat,  and  even  drawbridge,  the  walls  bristling  with 
cannon,  and  an  eagled  banner  floating  proudly  above  them. 

"  What,  in  the  name  of  the  sphinxes,  is  this  ?  " 

"  There,"  said  Jack,  "  is  the  Schloss  von  Eberhausen,  or, 
if  you  like  it  in  English,  Eberhausen  Castle,  as  it  was  in  the 
year  of  the  Deluge ;  since  the  present  mansion  that  we  are 
now  sipping  our  wine  in  bears  no  close  resemblance  to  it. 
But  to  make  the  mystery  clear,  this  was  the  great  prize  in 
the  Frankfort  lottery,  the  ticket  of  which  my  aunt's  first 
note  contained,  and  which  we  were  fortunate  enough  to  win. 
We  have  only  been  here  a  few  weeks ;  and  though  the  affair 


246  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

looks  somewhat  meagre,  we  have  hopes  that  in  a  little  time, 
and  with  some  pains,  much  may  be  done  to  make  it  habita- 
ble. There  is  a  capital  chasseoi  some  hundred  acres,  plenty 
of  wood  and  innumerable  rights,  seignorial,  manorial,  etc., 
which,  fortunately  for  my  neighbors,  I  neither  understand 
nor  care  for ;  and  we  are  therefore  the  best  friends  in  the 
world.     Among  others,  I  am  styled  the  Graf,  or  Count — " 

"Well,  then,  Monsieur  le  Comte,"  said  his  wife,  coming 
in,  "  do  you  intend  favoring  me  with  your  company  at  coffee 
this  evening  ?  For  already  it  is  ten  o'clock  ;  and  consider- 
ing my  former  claim  upon  Mr.  Lorrequer,  you  have  let  me 
enjoy  very  little  of  his  society." 

We  now  adjourned  to  the  drawing-room,  where  we  gos- 
sipped  away  till  past  midnight ;  and  I  retired  to  my  room, 
meditating  over  Jack's  adventures,  and  praying  in  my 
heart  that,  despite  all  his  mischances,  my  own  might  end 
as  happily. 


CHAPTER   XXVIII. 

MUNICH. 

The  rest  and  quietness  of  the  preceding  day  had  so  far 
recovered  me  from  the  effects  of  my  accident  that  I  re- 
solved, as  soon  as  breakfast  was  over,  to  take  leave  of  my 
kind  friends  and  set  out  for  Munich. 

"We  shall  meet  to-night,  Harry,"  said  Waller,  as  we 
parted,  —  "we  shall  meet  at  the  Casino;  and  don't  forget 
that  the  Croix  Blanche  is  your  hotel,  and  Schnetz,  the 
tailor  in  the  Grande  Place,  will  provide  you  with  every- 
thing you  need  in  the  way  of  dress." 

This  latter  piece  of  information  was  satisfactory,  inas- 
much as  the  greater  part  of  my  luggage,  containing  my 
uniform,  etc.,  had  been  left  in  the  French  diligence ;  and 
as  the  ball  was  patronized  by  the  court,  I  was  greatly  puz- 
zled how  to  make  my  appearance. 

Bad  roads  and  worse  horses  made  me  feel  the  few  leagues 
before  me  the  most  tiresome  part  of  my  journey.  But  of 
course  in  this  feeling  impatience  had  its  share.  A  few 
hours  more,  and  my  fate  would  be  decided ;  and  yet  I 
thought  the  time  would  never  come.  "  If  the  Callonbys 
should  not  arrive ;  if,  again,  my  evil  star  be  in  the  ascend- 
ant, and  any  new  impediment  to  our  meeting  arise  —  But 
I  cannot,  will  not,  think  this ;  Fortune  must  surely  be  tired 
of  persecuting  me  by  this  time,  and,  even  to  sustain  her  old 
character  for  fickleness,  must  befriend  me  now.  Ah  !  here 
we  are  in  Munich,  and  this  is  the  Croix  Blanche.  What  a 
dingy  old  mansion  !  " 

Beneath  a  massive  porch,  supported  by  heavy  stone  pil- 
lars, stood  the  stout  figure  of  Andreas  Behr,  the  host.  A 
white  napkin,  fastened  in  one  button-hole  and  hanging 
gracefully  down  beside  him,  a  soup-ladle  held  sceptre-wise 


248  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

in  his  right  hand,  and  the  grinding  motion  of  his  nether 
jaw,  all  showed  that  he  had  risen  from  his  table  d'hote  to 
welcome  the  new  arrival ;  and  certainly,  if  noise  and  uproar 
might  explain  the  phenomenon,  the  clatter  of  my  equipage 
over  the  pavement  might  have  roused  the  dead. 

While  my  postilion  was  endeavoring  by  mighty  efforts, 
with  a  heavy  stone,  to  turn  the  handle  of  the  door,  and 
thus  liberate  me  from  my  cage,  I  perceived  that  the  host 
came  forward  and  said  something  to  him ;  on  replying  to 
which,  he  ceased  his  endeavors  to  open  the  door,  and  looked 
vacantly  about  him.  Upon  this  I  threw  down  the  sash 
and  called  out,  — 

"  I  say,  is  not  this  the  Croix  Blanche  ?  " 

"Ja"  said  the  man-mountain  with  the  napkin. 

"  Well,  then,  open  the  door,  pray ;  I  'm  going  to  stop 
here." 

"Nein." 

"  No !  What  do  you  mean  by  that  ?  Has  not  Lord 
Callonby  engaged  rooms  here  ?  " 

"Ja." 

"  Well,  then,  I  am  a  particular  friend  of  his,  and  will  stay 
here  too." 

"Nein." 

"  What  the  devil  are  you  at,  with  your  Ja  and  Nein  ? " 
said  I.  "  Has  your  confounded  tongue  nothing  better  than 
a  monosyllable  to  reply  with  ?  " 

Whether  disliking  the  tone  the  controversy  was  assum- 
ing, or  remembering  that  his  dinner  waited,  I  know  not; 
but  at  these  words  my  fat  friend  turned  leisurely  round  and 
waddled  back  into  the  house,  where,  in  a  moment  after,  I 
had  the  pleasure  of  beholding  him,  at  the  head  of  a  long 
table,  distributing  viands  with  a  very  different  degree  of 
activity  from  what  he  displayed  in  dialogue. 

With  one  vigorous  jerk  I  dashed  open  the  door,  upsetting 
at  the  same  time  the  poor  postilion,  who  had  recommenced 
his  operations  on  the  lock,  and,  foaming  with  passion,  strode 
into  the  salle  a  manger.  Nothing  is  such  an  immediate 
damper  to  any  sudden  explosion  of  temper  as  the  placid  and 


MUNICH.  249 

unconcerned  faces  of  a  number  of  people  who,  ignorant  of 
yourself  and  your  peculiar  miseries  at  the  moment,  seem 
only  to  regard  you  as  a  madman.  This  I  felt  strongly  as, 
flushed  in  face  and  tingling  in  my  fingers,  I  entered  the 
room. 

"  Take  my  luggage,"  said  I  to  a  gaping  waiter,  "  and 
place  a  chair  there,  do  you  ■  hear  ?  " 

There  seemed,  I  suppose,  something  in  my  looks  that  did 
not  admit  of  much  parley  ;  for  the  man  made  room  for  me 
at  once  at  the  table,  and  left  the  room,  as  if  to  discharge 
the  other  part  of  my  injunction,  without  saying  a  word. 
As  I  arranged  my  napkin  before  me,  I  was  collecting  my 
energies  and  my  German,  as  well  as  I  was  able,  for  the 
attack  of  the  host,  which,  I  anticipated  from  his  recent 
conduct,  must  now  ensue ;  but,  greatly  to  my  surprise,  he 
sent  me  my  soup  without  a  word,  and  the  dinner  went  on 
without  any  interruption.  When  the  dessert  had  made  its 
appearance,  I  beckoned  the  waiter  towards  me,  and  asked 
what  the  landlord  meant  by  his  singular  reception  of  me. 
The  man  shrugged  his  shoulders  and  raised  his  eyebrows 
without  speaking,  as  if  to  imply,  "  It 's  his  way." 

"Well,  then,  no  matter,"  said  I.  "Have  you  sent  my 
luggage  upstairs  ?  " 

"  No,  sir,  there  is  no  room,  —  the  house  is  full." 

"  The  house  full  ?  Confound  it,  this  is  too  provoking ! 
I  have  most  urgent  reasons  for  wishing  to  stay  here.  Can- 
not you  make  some  arrangement  ?  See  about  it,  waiter." 
I  here  slipped  a  napoleon  into  the  fellow's  hand,  and  hinted 
that  as  much  more  awaited  the  finale  of  the  negotiation. 

In  about  a  minute  after,  I  perceived  him  behind  the  host's 
chair  pleading  my  cause  with  considerable  energy ;  but  to 
my  complete  chagrin  I  heard  the  other  answer  all  his  elo- 
quence by  a  loud  " Nein"  that  he  grunted  out  in  such  a 
manner  as  closed  the  conference. 

"  I  cannot  succeed,  sir,"  said  the  man  as  he  passed  behind 
me;  "but  don't  leave  the  house  till  I  speak  with  you 
again." 

u  What  confounded  mystery  is  there  in  all  this  ?  "  thought 


250  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

I.  "  Is  there  anything  so  suspicious  in  my  look  or  appear- 
ance that  the  old  bear  in  the  fur-cap  will  not  even  admit 
me  ?  What  can  it  all  mean  ?  One  thing  I  'm  resolved  upon, 
nothing  less  than  force  shall  remove  me." 

So  saying,  I  lit  my  cigar,  and  in  order  to  give  the  waiter 
an  opportunity  of  conferring  with  me  unobserved  by  his 
master,  walked  out  into  the  porch  and  sat  down. 

In  a  few  minutes  he  joined  me,  and  after  a  stealthy 
look  on  each  side,  said, — 

"  The  Herr  Andreas  is  a  hard  man  to  deal  with,  and  when 
he  says  a  thing,  never  goes  back  of  it.  Now,  he  has  been 
expecting  the  new  English  Charge  d' Affaires  here  these  last 
ten  days,  and  has  kept  the  hotel  half  empty  in  consequence ; 
and  as  Milor  Callonby  has  engaged  the  other  half,  why  we 
have  nothing  to  do ;  so  that  when  he  asked  the  postilion  if 
you  were  milor,  and  found  that  you  were  not,  he  determined 
not  to  admit  you." 

"  But  why  not  have  the  civility  to  explain  that  ?  " 

"  He  seldom  speaks,  and  when  he  does,  only  a  word  or 
two  at  a  time.  He  is  quite  tired  with  what  he  has  gone 
through  to-day,  and  will  retire  very  early  to  bed ;  and  for 
this  reason  I  have  requested  you  to  remain,  for  as  he  never 
ventures  upstairs,  I  will  then  manage  to  give  you  one  of  the 
ambassador's  rooms,  which,  even  if  he  come,  he  '11  never 
miss.  So  that  if  you  keep  quiet,  and  do  not  attract  any 
particular  attention  towards  you,  all  will  go  well." 

This  advice  seemed  so  reasonable  that  I  determined  to 
follow  it,  any  inconvenience  being  preferable,  provided  I 
could  be  under  the  same  roof  with  my  beloved  Jane ;  and 
from  the  waiter's  account,  there  seemed  no  doubt  whatever 
of  their  arrival  that  evening.  In  order,  therefore,  to  follow 
his  injunctions  to  the  letter,  I  strolled  out  towards  the  Place 
in  search  of  the  tailor,  and  also  to  deliver  a  letter  from  Wal- 
ler to  the  chamberlain  to  provide  me  with  a  card  for  the 
ball.  Monsieur  Schnetz,  who  was  the  very  pinnacle  of  po- 
liteness, was  nevertheless,  in  fact,  nearly  as  untractable  as 
my  host  of  the  Cross.  All  his  people  were  engaged  in  pre- 
paring a  suit  for  the  English  Charg6  d' Affaires,  whose  trunks 


MUNICH.  251 

had  been  sent  in  a  wrong  direction,  and  who  had  despatched 
a  courier  from  Frankfort  to  order  a  uniform.  This  second 
thwarting,  and  from  the  same  source,  so  nettled  me  that  I 
greatly  fear  all  my  respect  for  the  Foreign  Office,  and  those 
who  live  thereby,  would  not  have  saved  them  from  some- 
thing most  unlike  a  blessing,  had  not  Monsieur  Schnetz 
saved  diplomacy  from  such  desecration  by  saying  that  if  I 
could  content  myself  with  a  plain  suit,  such  as  civilians 
wore,  he  would  do  his  endeavor  to  accommodate  me. 

"  Anything,  Monsieur  Schnetz ;  dress  me  like  the  Pope's 
Nuncio  or  the  Lord  Mayor  of  London,  if  you  like,  but  only 
enable  me  to  go." 

Although  my  reply  did  not  seem  to  convey  a  very  exalted 
idea  of  my  taste  in  costume  to  the  worthy  artist,  it  at  least 
evinced  my  anxiety  for  the  ball ;  and  running  his  measure 
over  me,  he  assured  me  that  the  dress  he  would  provide  was 
both  well-looking  and  becoming  ;  adding,  "  At  nine  o'clock, 
sir,  you  '11  have  it,  —  exactly  the  same  size  as  his  Excellency 
the  Charge  d' Affaires." 

"  Confound  the  Charge  d' Affaires  !  "  I  added,  and  left  the 
house. 


CHAPTER   XXIX. 


INN    AT    MUNICH. 


As  I  had  never1  been  in  Munich  before,  I  strolled  about 
the  town  till  dusk.  At  that  time  the  taste  of  the  king  had 
not  enriched  the  capital  with  the  innumerable  objects  of 
art  which  render  it  now  second  to  none  in  Europe.  There 
were,  indeed,  then  but  few  attractions,  —  narrow  streets, 
tall,  unarchitectural-looking  houses,  and  gloomy,  unimpres- 
sive churches.  Tired  of  this,  I  turned  towards  my  inn, 
wondering  in  my  mind  if  Antoine  had  succeeded  in  procur- 
ing me  the  room,  or  whether  I  should  be  obliged  to  seek  my 
lodging  elsewhere.  Scarcely  had  I  entered  the  porch  when 
I  found  him  awaiting  my  arrival,  candle  in  hand.  He  con- 
ducted me  at  once  up  the  wide  oaken  stair,  then  along  the 
gallery,  into  a  large  wainscoted  room  with  a  most  capacious 
bed.  A  cheerful  wood  fire  burned  and  crackled  away  in 
the  grate,  the  cloth  was  already  spread  for  supper  (remem- 
ber, it  was  in  Germany),  the  newspapers  of  the  day  were 
placed  before  me,  and  in  a  word,  every  attention  showed 
that  I  had  found  the  true  avenue  to  Antoine's  good  graces, 
who  now  stood  bowing  before  me,  in  apparent  ecstasy  at 
his  own  cleverness. 

"  All  very  well  done,  Antoine ;  and  now  for  supper.  Order 
it  yourself  for  me,  —  I  never  can  find  my  way  in  a  German 
Speisekarte ;  and  be  sure  to  have  a  fiacre  here  at  nine, — 
nine  precisely." 

Antoine  withdrew,  leaving  me  to  my  own  reflections, 
which  now,  if  not  gloomy,  were  still  of  the  most  anxious 
kind. 

Scarcely  was  the  supper  placed  upon  the  table,  when  a 
tremendous  tramping  of  horses  along  the  street,  and  loud 
cracking  of  whips,  announced  a  new  arrival. 


INN  AT  MUNICH.  253 

"  Here  they  are  ! "  said  I,  as,  springing  up,  I  upset  the 
soup  and  nearly  threw  the  roti  into  Antoine's  face  as  he  was 
putting  it  before  rne. 

Downstairs  I  rushed  through  the  hall,  pushing  aside 
waiters  and  overturning  chambermaids  in  my  course.  The 
carriage  was  already  at  the  door.  "  Now  for  a  surprise," 
thought  I,  as  I  worked  through  the  crowd  in  the  porch,  and 
reached  the  door  just  as  the  steps  were  clattered  down,  and 
a  gentleman  began  to  descend,  whom  twenty  expectant 
voices,  now  informed  of  his  identity,  welcomed  as  the  new 
Charge  d' Affaires. 

"  May  all  the  —  " 

What  I  wished  for  his  Excellency  it  would  not  be  polite 
to  repeat,  nor  most  discreet  even  to  remember  ;  but,  certes, 
I  mounted  the  stairs  with  as  little  goodwill  towards  the 
envoy  extraordinary  as  was  consistent  with  due  loyalty. 

When  once  more  in  my  room,  I  congratulated  myself  that 
now  at  least  no  more  "  false  starts "  could  occur ;  "  The 
eternal  Charge  d' Affaires,  of  whom  I  have  been  hearing 
since  my  arrival,  cannot  come  twice.  He  is  here  now,  and 
I  hope  I  've  done  with  him." 

The  supper  —  some  greasiness  apart  —  was  good,  the 
wine  excellent.  My  spirits  were  gradually  rising,  and  I 
paced  my  room  in  that  mingled  state  of  hope  and  fear  that 
amid  all  its  anxieties,  has  such  moments  of  ecstasy.  A  new 
noise  without,  —  some  rabble  in  the  street ;  hark !  it  comes 
nearer,  —  I  hear  the  sound  of  wheels  ;  yes,  there  go  the 
horses,  —  nearer  and  nearer.  Ah  !  it  is  dying  away  again 
—  stay  —  yes,  yes,  here  it  is,  here  they  are  !  The  noise 
and  tumult  without  now  increased  every  instant,  the  heavy 
trot  of  six  or  eight  horses  shook  the  very  street,  and  I  heard 
the  round,  dull,  rumbling  sound  of  a  heavy  carriage  as  it 
drew  up  at  last  at  the  door  of  the  inn.  Why  it  was,  I  know 
not,  but  this  time  I  could  not  stir;  my  heart  beat  almost 
loud  enough  for  me  to  hear,  my  temples  throbbed,  and 
then  a  cold  and  clammy  perspiration  came  over  me,  and 
I  sank  into  a  chair.  Fearing  that  I  was  about  to  faint, 
sick  as  I  was,  I  felt  angry  with  myself,  and  tried  to  rally, 


254  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

but  could  not,  and  only  at  length  was  roused  by  hearing 
that  the  steps  were  let  down,  and  shortly  after,  the  tread 
of  feet  coming  along  the  gallery  towards  my  room. 

"  They  are  coming,  —  she  is  coming,"  thought  I.  "  Now 
then  for  my  doom  !  " 

There  was  some  noise  of  voices  outside.  I  listened,  for 
I  still  felt  unable  to  rise.  The  talking  grew  louder  ;  doors 
were  opened  and  shut ;  then  came  a  lull ;  then  more  slam- 
ming of  doors  and  more  talking ;  then  all  was  still  again  ; 
and  at  last  I  heard  the  steps  of  people  as  if  retiring,  and 
in  a  few  minutes  after,  the  carriage-door  was  jammed  to, 
and  again  the  heavy  tramp  of  the  horses  rattled  over  the 
pav6.     At  this  instant  Antoine  entered. 

"  Well,  Antoine,"  said  I,  in  a  voice  trembling  with  weak- 
ness and  agitation,  —  "  well,  who  has  arrived  ?  " 

"  It  was  his  Grace  the  Grand  Marechal,"  said  Antoine, 
scarcely  heeding  my  question,  in  the  importance  of  the 
illustrious  visitor  who  had  come. 

"  Ah  !  the  Grand  Marechal,"  said  I,  carelessly ;  "  does  he 
live  here  ?  " 

"  Sappermint,  nein,  mein  Herr ;  but  he  has  just  been 
to  pay  his  respects  to  his  Excellency  the  new  Charge 
d' Affaires." 

In  the  name  of  all  patience,  I  ask,  who  could  endure  this  ? 
From  the  hour  of  my  arrival  I  am  haunted  by  this  one 
image,  — the  Charge  d' Affaires.  For  him  I  have  been  al- 
most condemned  to  go  houseless  and  naked ;  and  now  the 
most  sacred  feelings  of  my  heart  are  subject  to  his  influ- 
ence. I  walked  up  and  down  in  an  agony.  "  Another  such 
disappointment,  and  my  brain  will  turn,"  thought  I;  "and 
they  may  write  my  epitaph,  —  '  Died  of  love  and  a  Charge 
d' Affaires.'  " 

"  It  is  time  to  dress,"  said  the  waiter. 

"  I  could  strangle  him  with  my  own  hands,"  nuttered  I, 
worked  up  into  a  real  heat  by  the  excitement  of  my  passion. 

"  The  Charge"  —  " 

"  Say  that  name  again,  villain,  and  I  '11  blow  your  brains 
out,"  cried  I,  seizing  Antoine  by  the  throat  and  pinning  him 


INN  AT  MUNICH.  255 

against  the  wall ;  "  only  dare  to  mutter  it,  and  you'll  never 
breathe  another  syllable." 

The  poor  fellow  grew  green  with  terror,  and  fell  upon 
his  knees  before  me. 

"  Get  my  dressing  things  ready,"  said  I,  in  a  more  sub- 
dued tone.  "  I  did  not  mean  to  terrify  you,  —  but  beware 
of  what  I  told  you." 

While  Antoine  occupied  himself  with  the  preparations 
for  my  toilet,  I  sat  broodingly  over  the  wood  embers,  think- 
ing of  my  fate. 

A  knock  came  to  the  door.  It  was  the  tailor's  servant 
with  my  clothes.  He  laid  down  the  parcel  and  retired, 
while  Antoine  proceeded  to  open  it  and  exhibit  before  me 
a  blue  uniform  with  embroidered  collar  and  cuffs,  —  the 
whole,  without  being  gaudy,  being  sufficiently  handsome, 
and  quite  as  showy  as  I  could  wish. 

The  poor  waiter  expressed  his  unqualified  approval  of 
the  costume,  and  talked  away  about  the  approaching  ball  as 
something  pre-eminently  magnificent. 

"  You  had  better  look  after  the  fiacre,  Antoine,"  said  I ; 
"it  is  past  nine." 

He  walked  towards  the  door,  opened  it,  and  then  turning 
round,  said,  in  a  kind  of  low,  confidential  whisper,  pointing, 
with  the  thumb  of  his  left  hand,  towards  the  wall  of  the  room 
as  he  spoke,  — 

"  He  won't  go ;  very  strange  that." 

"  Whom  do  you  mean  ?  "  said  I,  quite  unconscious  of  the 
allusion. 

"  The  Charge  d'Aff  — " 

I  made  one  spring  at  him ;  but  he  slammed  the  door  to, 
and  before  I  could  reach  the  lobby,  I  heard  him  rolling 
from  top  to  bottom  of  the  oak  staircase,  making  noise 
enough  in  his  fall  to  account  for  the  fracture  of  every  bone 
in  his  body. 


CHAPTER  XXX. 


THE    BALL. 


As  I  was  informed  that  the  King  would  himself  be  pres- 
ent at  the  ball,  I  knew  that  court  etiquette  required  that 
the  company  should  arrive  before  his  Majesty;  and  al- 
though at  every  minute  I  expected  the  arrival  of  the  Cal- 
lonbys,  I  dared  not  defer  my  departure  any  longer. 

"  They  are  certain  to  be  at  the  ball,"  said  Waller ;  and 
that  sentence  never  left  my  mind. 

So  saying,  I  jumped  into  the  fiacre,  and  in  a  few  minutes 
found  myself  in  the  long  line  of  carriages  that  led  to  the 
Hof-saal.  Any  one  who  has  been  in  Munich  will  testify 
for  me  that  the  ball-room  is  one  of  the  most  beautiful  in 
Europe ;  and  to  me,  who  for  some  time  had  not  been  living 
much  in  the  world,  its  splendor  was  positively  dazzling. 
The  glare  of  the  chandeliers,  the  clang  of  the  music,  the 
magnificence  of  the  dresses,  the  beauty  of  the  Bavarian 
women,  too,  all  surprised  and  amazed  me.  There  were 
several  hundred  people  present,  but  the  King  not  having  yet 
arrived,  dancing  had  not  commenced.  Feeling  as  I  did 
then,  it  was  rather  a  relief  to  me  than  otherwise  that  I 
knew  no  one.  There  was  quite  amusement  enough  in  walk- 
ing through  the  saloons,  observing  the  strange  costumes, 
and  remarking  the  various  groups  as  they  congregated 
around  the  trays  of  ices  and  the  champagne  Jrappi.  The 
buzz  of  talking  and  the  sounds  of  laughter  and  merriment 
prevailed  over  even  the  orchestra ;  and  as  the  gay  crowds 
paraded  the  rooms,  all  seemed  pleasure  and  excitement. 
Suddenly  a  tremendous  noise  was  heard  without;  then 
came  a  loud  roll  of  the  drums,  which  lasted  for  several 
seconds,  and  the  clank  of  musketry ;  then  a  cheer,  —  it  is 
the  King. 


THE  BALL.  257 

"  The  King ! "  resounded  on  all  sides ;  and  in  another 
moment  the  folding-doors  at  the  end  of  the  Saal  were 
thrown  open,  and  the  music  struck  up  the  national  anthem 
of  Bavaria. 

His  Majesty  entered,  accompanied  by  the  Queen,  his 
brother,  two  or  three  archduchesses,  and  a  long  suite  of 
officers. 

I  could  not  help  remarking  upon  the  singular  good  taste 
with  which  the  assembly  —  all  anxious  and  eager  to  catch  a 
glimpse  of  his  Majesty  —  behaved  on  this  occasion.  There 
was  no  pressing  forward  to  the  estrade  where  he  stood,  no 
vulgar  curiosity  evinced  by  any  one,  but  the  groups  con- 
tinued, as  before,  to  gather  and  scatter ;  the  only  difference 
being  that  the  velvet  chair  and  cushion,  which  had  attracted 
some  observers  before,  were,  now  that  they  were  tenanted 
by  royalty,  passed  with  a  deep  and  respectful  salutation. 
"  How  proper  this,"  thought  I,  "  and  what  an  inducement 
for  a  monarch  to  come  among  his  people,  who  remember  to 
receive  him  with  such  true  politeness ! "  While  these 
thoughts  were  passing  through  my  mind,  and  I  was  leaning 
against  a  pillar  that  supported  the  gallery  of  the  orchestra, 
a  gentleman  whose  dress,  covered  with  gold  and  embroid- 
ery, bespoke  him  as  belonging  to  the  court,  eyed  me  with 
his  lorgnette,  and  then  passed  rapidly  on.  A  quadrille  was 
now  forming  near  me,  and  I  was  watching,  with  some  inter- 
est, the  proceeding,  when  the  same  figure  that  I  remarked 
before,  approached  me,  bowing  deeply  at  every  step,  and 
shaking  a  halo  of  powder  from  his  hair  at  each  reverence. 

"  May  I  take  the  liberty  of  introducing  myself  to  you  ?  " 
said  he.  "  Le  Comte  Benningsen."  Here  he  bowed  again, 
and  I  returned  the  obeisance  still  deeper.  "  Regret  much 
that  I  was  not  fortunate  enough  to  make  your  acquaintance 
this  evening  when  I  called  upon  you,"  said  he,  with  another 
salutation. 

"  Never  heard  of  that,"  said  I  to  myself. 

"  Your  Excellency  arrived  this  evening  ?  " 

"Yes,"  said  I;  "only  a  few  hours  since." 

"  How  fond  these  Germans  are  of  titles ! "    thought  I. 

VOL.  II.  —  17 


258  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

Kemembering  that  in  Vienna  every  one  is  "his  Grace,"  I 
thought  it  might  be  Bavarian  politeness  to  call  every  one 
"his  Excellency." 

"  You  have  not  been  presented  I  believe  ?  " 

"  No,"  said  I ;  "  but  I  hope  to  take  an  early  opportunity 
of  paying  mes  hommages  to  his  Majesty." 

"I  have  just  received  his  orders  to  present  you  now," 
replied  he,  with  another  bow. 

"The  devil  you  have!"  thought  I.  "How  very  civil 
that ! "  And  although  I  had  heard  innumerable  anecdotes 
of  the  free-and-easy  habits  of  the  Bavarian  court,  this  cer- 
tainly surprised  me,  so  that  I  actually,  to  prevent  a  blunder, 
said :  "  Am  I  to  understand  you,  Monsieur  le  Comte,  that 
his  Majesty  was  graciously  pleased  —  " 

"  If  you  will  follow  me,"  replied  the  courtier,  motioning 
with  his  chapeau ;  and  in  another  moment  I  was  elbowing 
my  way  through  the  mob  of  marquises  and  duchesses  on  my 
way  to  the  raised  platform  where  the  King  was  standing. 

"  Heaven  grant  I  have  not  misunderstood  all  he  has  been 
saying ! "  was  my  last  thought  as  the  crowd  of  courtiers 
fell  back  on  either  side,  and  I  found  myself  before  his 
Majesty.  How  the  Grand  Marechal  entitled  me,  I  heard 
not ;  but  when  the  King  addressed  me  immediately  in  Eng- 
lish, saying,  "I  hope  your  Excellency  has  had  a  good 
journey  ? "  I  said  to  myself,  "  Come,  there  is  no  mistake 
here,  Harry ;  and  it  is  only  another  freak  of  fortune,  who 
is  now  in  good-humor  with  you." 

The  King,  who  was  a  fine,  tall,  well-built  man,  with  a 
large,  bushy  moustache,  possessed,  though  not  handsome,  a 
most  pleasing  expression ;  his  utterance  was  very  rapid, 
and  his  English  none  of  the  best,  so  that  it  was  with  the 
greatest  difficulty  I  contrived  to  follow  his  questions,  which 
came  thick  as  hail  upon  me.  After  some  commonplaces 
about  the  roads,  the  weather,  and  the  seasons,  his  Majesty 
said,  — 

"My  Lord  Callonby  has  been  residing  some  time  here. 
You  know  him  ? "  And  then,  not  waiting  for  a  reply, 
added :  "  Pleasant  person  ;  well  informed  ;  like  him  much, 


THE   BALL.  251) 

and  his  daughters  too,  —  how  handsome  they  are ! " 
Here  I  blushed,  and  felt  most  awkward,  while  the  King 
continued,  — 

"  Hope  they  will  remain  some  time,  —  quite  an  ornament 
to  our  court.  Monsieur  le  Comte,  his  Excellency  will 
dance." 

I  here  muttered  an  apology  about  my  sprained  ankle,  and 
the  king  turned  to  converse  with  some  of  the  ladies  of  the 
court.  His  Majesty's  notice  brought  several  persons  now 
around  me,  who  introduced  themselves ;  and  in  a  quarter  of 
an  hour  I  felt  myself  surrounded  by  acquaintances,  each 
vying  with  the  other  in  showing  me  attention. 

"  Worse  places  than  Munich,  Master  Harry  !  "  thought  I, 
as  I  chaperoned  a  fat  duchess,  with  fourteen  quarterings, 
towards  the  refreshment-room,  and  had  just  accepted  invi- 
tations enough  to  occupy  me  three  weeks  in  advance. 

"  I  have  been  looking  everywhere  for  your  Excellency," 
said  the  Grand  Marechal,  bustling  his  way  to  me,  breathless 
and  panting,  "His  Majesty  desires  you  will  make  one  of 
his  party  at  whist ;  so  pray  come  at  once." 

"  Figaro  qua,  Figaro  la,"  muttered  I ;  "  never  was  man 
in  such  request.  Heaven  grant  the  whole  royal  family  of 
Bavaria  be  not  mad,  for  this  looks  very  like  it !  Lady  Jane 
had  better  look  sharp,  for  I  have  only  to  throw  my  eyes  on 
an  archduchess,  to  be  king  of  the  Bavarian  Tyrol  some  fine 
morning." 

"  You  play  whist,  of  course,  —  every  Englishman  does," 
said  the  King.     "  You  shall  be  my  partner." 

Our  adversaries  were  the  Prince  Maximilian,  brother  to 
his  Majesty,  and  the  Prussian  ambassador.  As  I  sat  down 
at  the  table,  I  could  not  help  saying  in  my  heart,  "  Now  is 
your  time,  Harry ;  if  my  Lord  Callonby  should  see  you, 
your  fortune  is  made."  Waller  passed  at  this  moment,  and 
as  he  saluted  the  King  I  saw  him  actually  start  with  amaze- 
ment as  he  beheld  me.  "  Better  fun  this  than  figuring  in 
the  yellow  plush,  Master  Jack,"  I  muttered,  as  he  passed 
on,  actually  thunderstruck  with  amazement.  But  the  game 
was  begun,  and  I  was  obliged  to  be  attentive.     We  won  the 


260  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

first  game,  and  the  King  was  in  immense  good-humor  as  he 
took  some  franc-pieces  from  the  Prussian  minister,  who, 
small  as  the  stake  was,  seemed  not  to  relish  losing.  His 
Majesty  now  complimented  me  upon  my  play,  and  was 
about  to  add  something,  when  he  perceived  some  one  in  the 
crowd,  and  sent  an  aide-de-camp  for  him. 

"Ah,  my  lord,  we  expected  you  earlier !"  and  then  said 
some  words  in  too  low  a  tone  for  me  to  hear,  motioning 
towards  me  as  he  spoke. 

If  Waller  was  surprised  at  seeing  me  where  I  was,  it  was 
nothing  to  the  effect  produced  upon  the  present  party, 
whom  I  now  recognized  as  Lord  Callonby.  Eespect  for 
the  presence  we  were  in  restrained  any  expression  on 
either  side,  and  a  more  ludicrous  tableau  than  we  pre- 
sented can  scarcely  be  conceived.  What  I  would  have 
given  that  the  whist  party  was  over,  I  need  not  say ;  and 
certainly  his  Majesty's  eulogy  upon  my  play  came  too 
soon,  for  I  was  now  so  discomposed,  my  eyes  wandering 
from  the  table  to  see  if  Lady  Jane  was  near,  that  I  lost 
every  trick,  and  finished  by  revoking.  The  King  rose  half 
pettishly,  observing  that  "  His  Excellency  seems  fatigued ;  " 
and  I  rushed  forward  to  shake  hands  with  Lord  Callonby, 
totally  forgetting  the  royal  censure  in  my  delight  at  dis- 
covering my  friend. 

"  Lorrequer,  I  am  indeed  rejoiced  to  see  you.  And  when 
did  you  arrive  ?  " 

"  This  evening." 

"  This  evening !  and  how  the  deuce  have  you  contrived 
already,  ch  ?     Why,  you  seem  quite  at  home  here  !  " 

"You  shall  hoar  all,"  said  I,  hastily;  "but  is  Lady  Cal- 
lonby here  ?  " 

"  No.  Kilkce  only  is  with  me,  —  there  he  is,  figuranting 
away  in  a  galop.  The  ladies  were  too  tired  to  come,  par- 
ticularly as  they  dine  at  court  to-morrow  ;  the  fatigue  would 
be  too  great." 

"I  have  his  Majesty's  order  to  invite  your  Excellency  to 
dinner  to-morrow,"  said  the  Grand  Marochal,  coming  up  at 
this  instant. 


THE  BALL.  261 

I  bowed  my  acknowledgments,  and  turned  again  to  Lord 
Callonby,  whose  surprise  now  seemed  to  have  reached  the 
climax. 

"  Why,  Lorrequer,  I  never  heard  of  this  !  When  did  you 
adopt  this  new  career  ?  " 

Not  understanding  the  gist  of  the  question,  and  conceiv- 
ing that  it  applied  to  my  success  at  court,  I  answered  at 
random  something  about  "falling  upon  my  legs,  good  luck," 
etc.,  and  once  more  returned  to  the  charge,  inquiring  most 
anxiously  for  Lady  Callonby's  health. 

"  Ah !  she  is  tolerably  well.  Jane  is  the  only  invalid ; 
but  then  we  hope  Italy  will  restore  her." 

Just  at  this  instant  Kilkee  caught  my  eye,  and  rushing 
over  from  his  place  beside  his  partner,  shook  me  by  both 
hands,  saying,  — 

"Delighted  to  see  you  here,  Lorrequer;  but  as  I  can't 
stay  now,  promise  to  sup  with  me  to-night  at  the  Cross." 

I  accepted,  of  course,  and  the  next  instant  he  was  whirl- 
ing along  in  his  waltz  with  one  of  the  most  lovely  German 
girls  I  ever  saw.  Lord  Callonby  saw  my  admiration  of  her, 
and  as  it  were  replying  to  my  gaze,  remarked,  — 

"  Yes,  very  handsome  indeed ;  but  really  Kilkee  is  going 
too  far  with  it.  I  rely  very  much  upon  you  to  reason  him 
out  of  his  folly ;  and  we  have  all  agreed  that  you  have  most 
influence  over  him,  and  are  most  likely  to  be  listened  to 
patiently." 

Here  was  a  new  character  assigned  me,  —  the  confi- 
dential friend  and  adviser  of  the  family,  trusted  with  a 
most  delicate  and  important  secret,  likely  to  bring  me  into 
most  intimate  terms  of  intercourse  with  them  all ;  for  the 
"  we  "  of  Lord  Callonby  bespoke  a  family  consultation,  in 
which  I  was  deputed  as  the  negotiator.  I  at  once  promised 
my  assistance,  saying  at  the  same  time  that  if  Kilkee  really 
was  strongly  attached,  and  had  also  reason  to  suppose  that 
the  lady  liked  him,  it  was  not  exactly  fair,  —  that,  in  short, 
if  the  matter  had  gone  beyond  flirtation,  any  interference 
of  mine  would  be  imprudent,  if  not  impertinent.  Lord 
Callonby  smiled  slightly  as  he  replied, — 


262  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Quite  right,  Lorrequer.  I  am  just  as  much  against  con- 
straint as  yourself,  if  only  no  great  barriers  exist ;  but  here, 
with  a  difference  of  religion,  country,  language,  habits,  in 
fact  everything  that  can  create  disparity,  the  thing  is  not 
to  be  thought  of." 

I  suspected  that  his  Lordship  read  in  my  partial  defence 
of  Kilkee  a  slight  attempt  to  prop  up  my  own  case,  and 
I  felt  confused  and  embarrassed  beyond  measure  at  the 
detection. 

"  Well,  we  shall  have  time  enough  for  all  this.  Now  let 
us  hear  something  of  my  old  friend  Sir  Guy.  How  is  he 
looking  ?  " 

"  I  am  unfortunately  unable  to  give  you  any  account  of 
him.  I  left  Paris  the  very  day  before  he  was  expected  to 
arrive  there." 

"  Oh  !  then  I  have  all  the  news  myself  in  that  case ;  for 
in  his  letter,  which  I  received  yesterday,  he  mentions  that 
we  are  not  to  expect  him  before  Tuesday." 

"  Expect  him  !     Is  he  coming  here  then  ?  " 

"  Yes.  Why,  I  thought  you  were  aware  of  that.  He  has 
been  long  promising  to  pay  us  a  visit ;  and  at  last,  by  great 
persuasion,  we  have  succeeded  in  getting  him  across  the  sea, 
—  and,  indeed,  were  it  not  that  he  was  coming,  we  should 
have  been  in  Florence  before  this." 

A  gleam  of  hope  shot  through  my  heart  as  I  said  to  my- 
self, "  What  can  this  visit  mean  ?  "  and  the  moment  after,  I 
felt  sick,  almost  fainting,  as  I  asked  if  my  Cousin  Guy  was 
also  expected. 

"  Oh,  yes !  We  shall  want  him,  I  should  think,"  said 
Lord  Callonby,   with  a  very  peculiar  smile. 

I  thought  I  should  have  fallen  at  these  few  words. 
"  Come,  Harry,"  thought  I,  "  it  is  better  to  learn  your  fate 
at  once.  Now  or  never ;  death  itself  were  preferable  to  this 
continued  suspense.  If  the  blow  is  to  fall,  it  can  scarcely 
sink  me  lower  than  I  now  feel."  So  reasoning,  I  laid  my 
hand  upon  Lord  Callonby's  arm,  and  with  a  face  pale  as 
death,  and  a  voice  all  but  inarticulate,  said, — 

"  My  lord,  you  will  pardon,  I  am  sure  —  " 


THE   BALL.  263 

"  My  dear  Lorrequer,"  said  his  Lordship,  interrupting  me, 
"for  Heaven's  sake  sit  down.  How  ill  you  are  looking! 
We  must  nurse  you,  my  poor  fellow." 

I  sank  upon  a  bench,  the  light  danced  before  my  eyes, 
the  clang  of  the  music  sounded  like  the  roar  of  a  waterfall, 
and  I  felt  a  cold  perspiration  burst  over  my  face  and  fore 
head.  At  the  instant  I  recognized  Kilkee's  voice,  and 
without  well  knowing  why  or  how,  discovered  myself  in 
the  open  air. 

"  Come,  you  are  better  now,"  said  Kilkee,  "  and  will  be 
quite  well  when  you  get  some  supper  and  a  little  of  the 
tokay  his  Majesty  has  been  good  enough  to  send  us." 

"  His  Majesty  desires  to  know  if  his  Excellency  is  bet- 
ter," said  an  aide-de-camp. 

I  muttered  my  most  grateful  acknowledgments. 

"  One  of  the  court  carriages  is  in  waiting  for  your  Excel- 
lency," said  a  venerable  old  gentleman  in  a  tie-wig,  whom  I 
recognized  as  the  Minister  for  Foreign  Affairs,  as  he  added, 
in  a  lower  tone,  to  Lord  Callonby,  "I  fear  he  has  been 
greatly  overworked  lately.  His  exertions  on  the  subject  of 
the  Greek  Loan  are  well  known  to  his  Majesty." 

"  Indeed  !  "  said  Lord  Callonby,  with  a  start  of  surprise ; 
"  I  never  heard  of  that  before." 

If  it  had  not  been  for  that  start  of  amazement,  I  should 
have  died  of  terror.  It  was  the  only  thing  that  showed  me 
I  was  not  out  of  my  senses,  which  I  now  concluded  the  old 
gentleman  must  be ;  for  I  had  never  heard  of  the  Greek 
Loan  in  my  life  before. 

"  Farewell !  mon  cher  collegue"  said  the  venerable  minis- 
ter as  I  got  into  the  carriage,  wondering,  as  well  I  might, 
what  singular  band  of  brotherhood  united  one  of  his  Ma- 
jesty's 4-th  with  the  Minister  for  Foreign  Affairs  of  the 
Court  of  Bavaria. 

When  I  arrived  at  the  White  Cross  I  found  my  nerves, 
usually  proof  to  anything,  so  shaken  and  shattered  that, 
fearing,  with  the  difficult  game  before  me,  any  mistake, 
however  trivial,  might  mar  all  my  fortunes  forever,  I  said 
a  "  good-night "  to  my  friends  and  went  to  bed. 


CHAPTER  XXXI. 


A   DISCOVERY. 


"  A  note  for  Monsieur,"  said  the  waiter,  awaking  me  at 
the  same  time  from  the  soundest  sleep  and  the  most  delight- 
ful dream.     The  billet  was  thus  :  — 

If  your  "  Excellency  "  does  not  intend  to  slumber  during  the  next 
twenty-four  hours,  it  might  be  as  well  to  remember  that  we  are  wait- 
ing breakfast.     Ever  yours, 

Kilkee. 

"It  is  true,  then,"  said  I,  following  up  the  delusion  of  my 
dream,  —  "  it  is  true  I  am  really  domesticated  once  more 
with  the  Callonbys ;  my  suit  is  prospering,  and  at  length 
the  long-sought,  long-hoped-for  moment  is  come  —  " 

"  Well,  Harry,"  said  Kilkee,  as  he  dashed  open  the  door, 
—  "  well,  Harry,  how  are  you  ?  Better  than  last  night,  I 
hope  ?  " 

"  Oh,  yes,  considerably !  In  fact,  I  can't  think  what 
could  have  been  the  matter  with  me ;  but  I  felt  confound- 
edly uncomfortable." 

"  You  did !  Why,  man,  what  can  you  mean  ?  Was  it 
not  a  joke  ?  " 

"A  joke  ! "  said  I,  with  a  start. 

"  Yes,  to  be  sure.  I  thought  it  was  only  the  sequel  of  the 
other  humbug." 

"  '  The  sequel  of  the  other  humbug  ! '  Gracious  mercy  !  " 
thought  I,  getting  pale  with  horror,  "  is  it  thus  he  ventures 
to  designate  my  attachment  to  his  sister  ?  " 

"Come,  come,  it's  all  over  now.  What  the  devil  could 
have  persuaded  you  to  push  the  thing  so  far  ?  " 


A  DISCOVERY.  265 

"  Really,  I  am  so  completely  in  the  dark  as  to  your  mean- 
ing that  I  only  get  deeper  in  the  mystery  by  my  chance 
replies.     What  do  you  mean  ?  " 

"  What  do  I  mean  ?  Why,  the  affair  of  last  night,  of 
course.  All  Munich  is  full  of  it ;  and  most  fortunately  for 
you,  the  King  has  taken  it  all  in  the  most  good-humored 
way,  and  laughs  more  than  any  one  else  about  it." 

"  Oh  !  then,"  thought  I,  "  I  must  have  done  or  said  some- 
thing last  night,  during  my  illness,  that  I  can't  remember 
now.  —  Come,  Kilkee,  out  with  it.  What  happened  last 
night  that  has  served  to  amuse  the  good  people  of  Munich  ? 
For  as  I  am  a  true  man,  I  forget  all  you  are  alluding  to." 

"  And  don't  remember  the  Greek  Loan,  eh  ?  " 

"  The  Greek  Loan  ?  " 

"And  your  Excellency's  marked  reception  by  his  Ma- 
jesty ?  By  Jove  !  though,  it  was  the  rarest  piece  of  impu- 
dence I  ever  heard  of;  hoaxing  a  crowned  head,  quizzing 
one  of  the  Lord's  anointed,  is  unpen  tropfort." 

"  If  you  really  do  not  wish  to  render  me  insane  at  once, 
for  the  love  of  mercy  say,  in  plain  terms,  what  all  this 
means." 

"  Come,  come,  I  see  you  are  incorrigible  :  but  as  break- 
fast is  waiting  all  this  time,  you  shall  have  your  explana- 
tions below  stairs." 

Before  I  had  time  for  another  question,  Kilkee  passed  his 
arm  within  mine  and  led  me  along  the  corridor,  pouring  out, 
the  entire  time,  a  whole  rhapsody  about  the  practical  joke 
of  my  late  illness,  which  he  was  pleased  to  say  would  ring 
from  one  end  of  Europe  to  the  other. 

Lord  Callonby  was  alone  in  the  breakfast-room  when  we 
entered,  and  the  moment  he  perceived  me,  called  out,  — 

"  Eh,  Lorrequer,  you  here  still  ?  Why,  man,  I  thought 
you  'd  have  been  over  the  frontier  early  this  morning." 

"  Indeed,  my  lord  !  I  am  not  exactly  aware  of  any  ur- 
gent reason  for  so  rapid  a  flight." 

"  You  are  not  ?  The  devil  you  are  not !  Why,  you  must 
surely  have  known  his  Majesty  to  be  the  best-tempered  man 
in  his  dominions,  then,  or  you  would  never  have  played  off 


266  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

such  a  ruse,  —  though,  I  must  say,  there  never  was  anything 
better  done.  Old  Hehlersteen,  the  Minister  for  Foreign 
Affairs,  is  nearly  deranged  this  morning  about  it.  It  seems 
that  he  was  the  first  that  fell  into  the  trap.  But,  seriously 
speaking,  I  think  it  would  be  better  if  you  got  away  from 
this.  The  King,  it  is  true,  has  behaved  with  the  best  pos- 
sible good  feeling,  but  —  " 

"  My  lord,  I  have  a  favor  to  ask,  perhaps  —  indeed,  in  all 
likelihood  —  the  last  I  shall  ever  ask  of  your  Lordship  ;  it 
is  this :  What  are  you  alluding  to  all  this  Avhile  ?  and  for 
what  especial  reason  do  you  suggest  my  immediate  depar- 
ture from  Munich  ?  " 

"  Bless  my  heart  and  soul !  you  surely  cannot  mean  to 
carry  the  thing  on  any  farther  ?  You  never  can  intend  to 
assume  your  ministerial  functions  by  daylight  ?  " 

"  My  what  ?  —  my  ministerial  functions  ?  " 

"Oh,  no  !  that  were  too  much,  even  though  his  Majesty 
did  say  that  you  were  the  most  agreeable  diplomatist  he  had 
met  for  a  long  time." 

"la  diplomatist ! " 

"  You,  certainly  !  Surely  you  cannot  be  acting  now ! 
Why,  gracious  mercy,  Lorrequer !  can  it  be  possible  that  you 
were  not  doing  it  by  design  ?  Do  you  really  not  know  in 
what  character  you  appeared  last  night  ?  " 

"  If  in  any  other  than  that  of  Harry  Lorrequer,  my  lord, 
I  pledge  my  honor  I  am  ignorant." 

u  Nor  the  uniform  you  wore,  —  don't  you  know  what  it 
meant  ?  " 

"  The  tailor  sent  it  to  my  room." 

"  Why,  by  Jove  !  this  will  kill  me  !  "  said  Lord  Callon- 
by,  bursting  into  a  fit  of  laughter,  in  which  Kilkee,  a  hither- 
to silent  spectator  of  our  colloquy,  joined  to  such  an  extent 
that  I  thought  he  might  burst  a  blood-vessel.  "  Why,  man, 
you  went  as  the  Charge  d' Affaires." 

"  I  the  Charge  d' Affaires  ! " 

"That  you  did,  and  a  most  successful  dibut  you  made 
of  it." 

While  shame  and  confusion  covered  me  from  head  to  foot 


A  DISCOVERY.  267 

at  the  absurd  and  ludicrous  blunder  I  had  been  guilty  of, 
the  sense  of  the  ridiculous  was  so  strong  in  me  that  I  fell 
upon  a  sofa  and  laughed  on  with  the  others  for  full  ten 
minutes. 

"  Your  Excellency  is,  I  am  rejoiced  to  find,  in  good 
spirits,"  said  Lady  Callonby,  entering,  and  presenting  her 
hand. 

"  He  is  so  glad  to  have  arranged  the  Greek  Loan,"  said 
Lady  Catherine,  smiling,  with  a  half -malicious  twinkle  of 
the  eye. 

Just  at  this  instant  another  door  opened,  and  Lady  Jane 
appeared.  Luckily  for  me,  the  increased  mirth  of  the  party, 
as  Lord  Callonby  informed  them  of  my  blunder,  prevented 
their  paying  any  attention  to  me ;  for  as  I  half  sprang  for- 
ward towards,  her,  my  agitation  would  have  revealed  to  any 
observer  the  whole  state  of  my  feelings.  I  took  her  hand, 
which  she  extended  to  me  without  speaking,  and  bowing 
deeply  over  it,  raised  my  head  and  looked  into  her  eyes,  as 
if  to  read  at  one  glance  my  fate  ;  and  when  I  let  fall  her 
hand,  I  would  not  have  exchanged  my  fortune  for  a 
kingdom. 

"  You  have  heard,  Jane,  how  our  friend  opened  his  cam- 
paign in  Munich  last  night  ?  " 

"  Oh  !  I  hope,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  they  are  only  quizzing. 
You  surely  could  not  — " 

"  Could  not !  What  he  could  not,  what  he  would  not  do,  is 
beyond  my  calculation  to  make  out,"  said  Kilkee,  laughing, 
—  "  anything  in  life,  from  breaking  an  axletree  to  hoaxing 
a  king."  I  turned,  as  may  be  imagined,  a  deaf  ear  to  this 
allusion,  which  really  frightened  me,  not  knowing  how  far 
Kilkee's  information  might  lead,  nor  how  he  might  feel  dis- 
posed to  use  it.  Lady  Jane  turned  a  half -reproachful  glance 
at  me,  as  if  rebuking  my  folly ;  but  the  interest  she  thus 
took  in  me  I  would  not  have  bartered  for  the  smile  of  the 
proudest  queen  in  Christendom. 

Breakfast  over,  Lord  Callonby  undertook  to  explain  to 
the  court  the  blunder  by  which  I  had  unwittingly  been  be- 
trayed into  personating  the  newly  arrived  minister ;  and  as 


268  HAKRY  LORREQUER. 

the  mistake  was  more  of  their  causing  than  my  own,  my 
excuses  were  accepted,  and  when  his  Lordship  returned  to 
the  hotel,  he  brought  with  him  an  invitation  for  me  to  dine 
at  court  in  my  own  unaccredited  character.  By  this  time  I 
had  been  carrying  on  the  siege  as  briskly  as  circumstances 
permitted ;  Lady  Callonby,  being  deeply  interested  in  her 
newly  arrived  purchases,  and  Lady  Catherine,  being  good- 
natured  enough  to  pretend  to  be  so  also,  left  me,  at  inter- 
vals, many  opportunities  of  speaking  to  Lady  Jane. 

As  I  feared  that  such  occasions  would  not  often  present 
themselves,  I  determined  on  making  the  best  use  of  my 
time,  and  at  once  led  the  conversation  towards  the  goal  I 
aimed  at,  by  asking  if  Lady  Jane  had  completely  forgotten 
the  wild  cliffs  and  rocky  coast  of  Clare,  amid  the  tall  moun- 
tains and  glaciered  peaks  of  the  Tyrol  ? 

"  Far  from  it,"  she  replied.  "  I  have  a  most  clear  re- 
membrance of  bold  Moher  and  the  rolling  swell  of  the  blue 
Atlantic,  and  long  to  feel  its  spray  once  more  upon  my 
cheek.  But  then,  I  knew  it  in  childhood,  —  your  acquain- 
tance with  it  was  of  a  later  date,  and  connected  with  fewer 
happy  associations." 

"  Fewer  happy  associations,  —  how  can  you  say  so  ? 
Was  it  not  there  the  brightest  hours  of  my  whole  life 
were  passed ;  was  it  not  there  I  first  met  —  " 

"Kilkee  tells  me,"  said  Lady  Jane,  interrupting  me 
shortly,  "  that  Miss  Bingham  is  extremely  pretty." 

This  was  turning  my  flank  with  a  vengeance  5  so  I  mut- 
tered something  about  difference  of  tastes,  etc.,  and  contin- 
ued :  "  I  understand  my  worthy  cousin  Guy  had  the  good 
fortune  to  make  your  acquaintance  in  Paris." 

It  was  now  her  turn  to  blush,  which  she  did  deeply,  and 
said  nothing. 

"He  is  expected,  I  believe,  in  a  few  days  at  Munich," 
said  I,  fixing  my  eyes  upon  her,  and  endeavoring  to  read 
her  thoughts.  She  blushed  more  deeply,  and  the  blood  at 
my  own  heart  ran  cold  as  I  thought  over  all  I  had  heard, 
and  I  muttered  to  myself,  "  She  loves  him." 

u  Mr.  Lorrequer,  the  carriage  is  waiting  5  and  as  we  are 


A  DISCOVERY.  269 

going  to  the  Gallery  this  morning  and  have  much  to  see, 
pray  let  us  have  your  escort." 

"  Oh !  I  'm  sure,"  said  Catherine,  "  his  assistance  will  be 
considerable,  —  particularly  if  his  knowledge  of  art  only 
equals  his  tact  in  botany.  Don't  you  think  so,  Jane  ?  " 
But  Jane  was  gone. 

They  left  the  room  to  dress,  and  I  was  alone,  —  alone 
with  my  anxious,  now  half-despairing  thoughts,  crowding 
and  rushing  upon  my  beating  brain.  "  She  loves  him,  and  I 
have  only  come  to  witness  her  becoming  the  wife  of  another. 
I  see  it  all  too  plainly,  —  my  uncle's  arrival ;  Lord  Callonby's 
familiar  manner  ;  Jane's  own  confession.  All,  all  convince 
me  that  my  fate  is  decided.  Now,  then,  for  one  last  brief 
explanation,  and  I  leave  Munich,  never  to  see  her  more." 

Just  as  I  had  so  spoken,  she  entered.  Her  gloves  had 
been  forgotten  in  the  room,  and  she  came  in,  not  knowing 
that  I  was  there.  What  would  I  not  have  given  at  that 
moment  for  the  ready-witted  assurance,  the  easy  self-pos- 
session, with  which  I  should  have  made  my  advances  had 
my  heart  not  been  as  deeply  engaged  as  I  now  felt  it! 
Alas  !  my  courage  was  gone ;  there  was  too  much  at  stake, 
and  I  preferred,  now  that  the  time  was  come,  any  suspense, 
any  vacillation,  to  the  dreadful  certainty  of  refusal. 

These  were  my  first  thoughts  as  she  entered ;  how  they 
were  followed,  I  cannot  say.  The  same  wild  confusion  of 
my  brain,  which  I  once  felt  when  mounting  the  breach  in  a 
storm-party,  now  completely  beset  me  ;  and  as  then,  when 
death  and  destruction  raged  on  every  side,  I  held  on  my 
way,  regardless  of  every  obstacle,  and  forgetting  all  save 
the  goal  before  me,  so  did  I  now,  in  the  intensity  of  my 
excitement,  disregard  everything  save  the  story  of  my  love, 
which  I  poured  forth  with  that  fervor  which  truth  only  can 
give.  But  she  spoke  not;  her  averted  head,  her  cold  and 
tremulous  hand  and  half-drawn  sigh,  were  all  that  replied 
to  me  as  I  waited  for  that  one  word  upon  which  hung  all 
my  fortune.  At  length  her  hand,  which  I  scarcely  held 
within  my  own,  was  gently  withdrawn.  She  lifted  it  to  her 
eyes,  but  still  was  silent. 


270  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

"Enough,"  said  I;  "I  seek  not  to  pain  you  more.  The 
daring  ambition  that  prompted  me  to  love  you  lias  met  its 
heaviest  retribution.  Farewell.  You,  Lady  Jane,  have 
nothing  to  reproach  yourself  with,  — you  never  encouraged, 
you  never  deceived  me.  I,  and  I  alone,  have  been  to  blame, 
and  mine  must  be  the  suffering.  Adieu,  then,  once  more, 
and  forever." 

She  turned  slowly  round,  and  as  the  handkerchief  fell 
from  her  hand,  —  her  features  were  pale  as  marble,  —  I 
saw  that  she  was  endeavoring  to  speak,  but  could  not ;  and 
at  length,  as  the  color  came  slowly  back  to  her  cheek,  her 
lips  moved,  and  just  as  I  leaned  forward,  with  beating 
heart,  to  hear,  her  sister  came  running  forward,  and 
suddenly  checked  herself  in  her  career  as  she  said, 
laughingly,  — 

"  Mille  jjardons,  Jane,  but  his  Excellency  must  take  an- 
other occasion  to  explain  the  quadruple  alliance  ;  for  mam- 
ma has  been  waiting  in  the  carriage  these  ten  minutes." 

I  followed  them  to  the  door,  placed  them  in  the  carriage, 
and  was  turning  again  towards  the  house,  when  Lady  Cal- 
lonby  said,  — 

"  Oh,  Mr.  Lorrequer,  we  count  upon  you !  You  must  not 
desert  us." 

I  muttered  something  about  not  feeling  well. 

"And  then,  perhaps,  the  Greek  Loan  is  engnging  your 
attention,"  said  Catherine,  —  "  or,  mayhap,  some  reciprocity 
treaty  is  not  prospering." 

The  malice  of  this  last  sally  told ;  for  Jane  blushed 
deeply,  and  I  felt  overwhelmed  with  confusion. 

"  But  pray  come ;  the  drive  will  do  you  good." 

"  Your  Ladyship  will,  I  am  certain,  excuse  —  " 

Just  as  I  had  got  so  far,  I  caught  Lady  Jane's  eye,  for 
the  first  time  since  Ave  had  left  the  drawing-room.  What  I 
read  there  I  could  not  for  the  life  of  me,  say ;  but  instead 
of  finishing  my  sentence,  I  got  into  the  carriage  and  drove 
off,  very  much  to  the  surprise  of  Lady  Callonby,  who,  never 
having  studied  magnetism,  knew  very  little  the  cause  of 
my  sudden  recovery. 


A  DISCOVERY.  271 

The  thrill  of  hope  that  shot  through  my  heart,  succeeding 
so  rapidly  the  dark  gloom  of  my  despairing  thoughts, 
buoyed  me  up  ;  and  while  I  whispered  to  myself,  "  All  may 
not  yet  be  lost,"  I  summoned  my  best  energies  to  my  aid. 
Luckily  for  me,  I  was  better  qualified  to  act  as  cicerone  in 
a  gallery  than  as  a  guide  in  a  green-house ;  and  with  the 
confidence  that  knowledge  of  a  subject  ever  inspires,  I  rat- 
tled away  about  art  and  artists,  —  greatly  to  the  edification  of 
Lady  Callonby,  much  to  the  surprise  of  Lady  Catherine, 
and,  better  than  all,  evidently  to  the  satisfaction  of  her  to 
win  whose  praise  I  would  gladly  have  risked  my  life. 

"  There,"  said  I,  as  I  placed  my  fair  friend  before  a  de- 
licious little  Madonna  of  Carlo  Dolce,  —  "  there  is,  perhaps, 
the  triumph  of  coloring.  From  the  downy  softness  of  that 
cheek,  the  luscious  depth  of  that  blue  eye,  the  waving  rich- 
ness of  those  sunny  locks,  all  is  perfect.  Fortunately  so 
beautiful  a  head  is  not  a  monopoly,  for  he  painted  many 
copies  of  this  picture." 

"  Quite  true,"  said  a  voice  behind ;  "  and  mine  at  Elton 
is,  I  think,  if  anything,  better  than  this." 

I  turned,  and  beheld  my  good  old  uncle,  Sir  Guy,  who 
was  standing  beside  Lady  Callonby.  While  I  welcomed 
my  worthy  relative,  I  could  not  help  casting  a  glance 
around  to  see  if  Guy  were  also  there ;  and  not  perceiving 
him,  my  heart  beat  freely  again. 

My  uncle,  it  appeared,  had  just  arrived,  and  lost  no  time 
in  joining  us  at  the  gallery.  His  manner  to  me  was  cordial 
to  a  degree;  and  I  perceived  that,  immediately  upon  being  in- 
troduced to  Lady  Jane,  he  took  considerable  pains  to  observe 
her,  and  paid  her  the  most  marked  attention. 

The  first  moment  I  could  steal  unnoticed,  I  took  the  op- 
portunity of  asking  if  Guy  were  come.  That  one  fact  was 
to  me  all,  and  upon  the  answer  to  my  question  I  hung  with 
deep  anxiety. 

"  Guy  here  ?  No,  not  yet.  The  fact  is,  Harry,  my  boy, 
Guy  has  not  got  on  here  as  well  as  I  could  have  wished. 
Everything  had  been  arranged  among  us ;  Callonby  be- 
haved most  handsomely,  and  as  far  as  regarded  myself,  I 


272  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

threw  no  impediment  in  the  way.  But  still,  I  don't  know 
how  it  was,  but  Guy  did  not  advance,  and  the  matter 
now  —  " 

"  Pray,  how  does  it  stand  ?  Have  you  any  hopes  to  put 
all  to  rights  again  ?  " 

"  Yes,  Harry,  I  think,  with  your  assistance,  much  may 
be  done." 

"  Oh!  count  upon  me,  by  all  means,"  said  I,  with  a 
sneering  bitterness  that  my  uncle  could  not  have  escaped 
remarking,  had  his  attention  not  been  drawn  off  by  Lady 
Callonby. 

"  What  have  I  done,  what  sin  did  I  meditate  before  I 
was  born,  that  I  should  come  into  the  world  branded  with 
failure  in  all  I  attempt  ?  Is  it  not  enough  that  my  cousin, 
my  elder  by  some  months,  should  be  rich  while  I  am  poor, 
honored  and  titled  while  I  am  unknown  and  unnoticed,  but 
is  he  also  to  be  preferred  to  me  in  every  station  in  life  ? 
Is  there  no  feeling  of  the  heart  so  sacred  that  it  must  not 
succumb  to  primogeniture  ?  " 

"  What  a  dear  old  man  Sir  Guy  is ! "  said  Catherine, 
interrupting  my  sad  "reflections,  "  and  how  gallant !  He  is 
absolutely  flirting  with  Lady  Jane." 

And  quite  true  it  was.  The  old  gentleman  was  paying 
his  devoirs  with  a  studied  anxiety  to  please  that  went  to 
my  very  heart  as  I  witnessed  it.  The  remainder  of  that 
day  to  me  was  a  painful  and  suffering  one.  My  intention 
of  suddenly  leaving  Munich  had  been  abandoned,  —  why,  I 
knew  not.  I  felt  that  I  was  hoping  against  hope,  and  that 
my  stay  was  only  to  confirm,  by  the  most  "  damning  proof," 
how  surely  I  was  fated  to  disappointment.  My  reasonings 
all  ended  in  one  point.  "  If  she  really  love  Guy,  then  my 
present  attentions  can  only  be  a  source  of  unhappiness  to 
her;  if  she  do  not,  is  there  any  prospect  that,  from  the 
bare  fact  of  my  attachment,  so  proud  a  family  as  the 
Callonbys  will  suffer  their  daughter  to  make  a  mere 
love-match  ?  " 

There  was  but  one  answer  to  this  question,  and  I  had  at 
last  the  courage  to  make  it  j  and  yet  the  Callonbys  had 


A  DISCOVERY.  273 

marked  rne  out  for  their  attentions,  and  had  gone  unusually 
out  of  their  way  to  inflict  injury  upon  me,  if  all  were  meant 
to  end  in  nothing.  "  If  I  only  could  bring  myself  to  think 
that  this  was  a  systematic  game  adopted  by  them  to  lead  to 
the.  subsequent  arrangement  with  my  cousin ;  if  I  could  but 
satisfy  my  doubts  on  this  head  —  "  What  threats  of  ven- 
geance I  muttered,  I  cannot  remember,  for  I  was  summoned 
at  that  critical  moment  to  attend  the  party  to  the  palace. 

The  state  of  excitement  I  was  in  was  an  ill  preparative 
for  the  rigid  etiquette  of  a  court  dinner.  All  passed  off, 
however,  happily,  and  the  King,  by  a  most  good-natured 
allusion  to  the  blunder  of  the  night  before,  set  me  perfectly 
at  ease  on  that  head. 

I  was  placed  next  to  Lady  Jane  at  dinner ;  and  half  from 
wounded  pride,  half  from  the  momentarily  increasing  convic- 
tion that  all  was  lost,  chatted  away  gayly,  without  any  evi- 
dence of  a  stronger  feeling  than  that  which  the  mere  vicinity 
of  a  pretty  person  is  sure  to  inspire.  What  success  this 
game  was  attended  with,  I  know  not ;  but  the  suffering  it 
cost  me,  I  shall  never  cease  to  remember.  One  satisfaction 
I  certainly  did  experience,  —  she  was  manifestly  piqued,  and 
several  times  turned  towards  the  person  on  the  other  side 
of  her,  to  avoid  the  tone  of  indifference  in  which  I  discussed 
matters  that  were  actually  wringing  my  own  heart  at  the 
moment.  Yet  such  was  the  bitterness  of  my  spirit  that  I 
set  down  this  conduct  on  her  part  as  coquetry,  and  quite 
convinced  myself  that  any  slight  encouragement  she  might 
ever  have  given  my  attentions  was  only  meant  to  indulge 
a  spirit  of  vanity,  by  adding  another  to  the  list  of  her 
conquests. 

As  the  feeling  grew  upon  me,  I  suppose  my  manner  to 
her  became  more  palpably  cutting,  for  it  ended  at  last  in 
our  discontinuing  to  speak ;  and  when  we  retired  from  the 
palace,  I  accompanied  her  to  the  carriage  in  silence,  and 
wished  her  a  cold  and  distant  good-night,  without  any  ad- 
vance to  touch  her  hand  at  parting,  —  and  yet  that  parting 
I  had  destined  for  our  last. 

The  greater  part  of  that  night  I  spent  in  writing  letters. 

VOL.  II.  — 18 


274  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

One  was  to  Jane  herself,  owning  my  affections,  confessing 
that  even  the  rudeness  of  my  late  conduct  was  the  fruit  of 
it,  and  finally  assuring  her  that  failing  to  win  from  her  any 
return  of  my  passion,  I  had  resolved  never  to  meet  her 
more.  I  also  wrote  a  short  note  to  my  uncle,  thanking  him 
for  all  he  had  formerly  clone  in  my  behalf,  but  coldly  de- 
clining for  the  future  any  assistance  upon  his  part,  resold 
ing  that  upon  my  own  efforts  alone  should  I  now  rest  my 
fortunes.  To  Lord  Callonby  I  wrote  at  greater  length, 
recapitulating  the  history  of  our  early  intimacy,  and  accus- 
ing him  of  encouraging  me  in  expectations  which,  as  he 
never  intended  to  confirm  them,  were  fated  to  prove  my 
ruin.  More,  much  more,  I  said,  which  to  avow  I  should 
gladly  shrink  from,  were  it  not  that  I  have  pledged  myself 
to  honesty  in  these  "  Confessions  ; "  and  as  they  depict  the 
bitterness  and  misery  of  my  spirit,  I  must  plead  guilty  to 
them  here.  In  a  word,  I  felt  myself  injured.  I  saw  no 
outlet  for  redress,  and  the  only  consolation  open  to  my 
wounded  pride  and  crushed  affection  was  to  show  that  if  I 
felt  myself  a  victim,  at  least  I  was  not  a  dupe.  I  set  about 
packing  up  for  the  journey,  —  whither,  I  knew  not.  My 
leave  was  nearly  expired,  yet  I  could  not  bear  the  thought 
of  rejoining  the  regiment.  My  only  desire  was  to  leave 
Munich,  and  that  speedily.  When  all  my  arrangements 
were  completed,  I  went  down  noiselessly  to  the  inn-yard  to 
order  post-horses  by  daybreak;  there,  to  my  surprise,  I 
found  all  activity  and  bustle.  Though  so  late  at  night,  a 
courier  had  arrived  from  England  for  Lord  Callonby,  with 
some  important  despatches  from  the  government.  This 
would,  at  any  other  time,  have  interested  me  deeply;  now 
I  heard  the  news  without  a  particle  of  feeling,  and  I  made 
all  the  necessary  dispositions  for  my  journey,  without  pay- 
ing the  slightest  attention  to  what  was  going  on  about  me. 
I  had  just  finished,  when  Lord  Callonby's  valet  came  to  say 
that  his  Lordship  wished  to  see  me  immediately  in  his 
dressing-room.  Though  I  would  gladly  have  declined  any 
further  interview,  I  saw  no  means  of  escape,  and  followed 
the  servant  to  his  Lordship's  room. 


A  DISCOVERY.  275 

There  I  found  Lord  Callonbyin  his  dressing-gown  and 
nightcap,  surrounded  by  papers,  letters,  despatch-boxes, 
and  red-tape-tied  parcels,  that  all  bespoke  business. 

"  Lorrequer,  sit  down,  my  boy.  I  have  much  to  say  to 
you ;  and  as  we  have  no  time  to  lose,  you  must  forego  a 
little  sleep.  Is  the  door  closed  ?  I  have  just  received  most 
important  news  from  England;  and  to  begin."  Here  his 
Lordship  opened  a  letter  and  read  as  follows :  — 

My  dear  Lord,  —  They  are  out  at  last,  — the  majority  on  Friday 
increased  to  forty  yesterday  evening,  when  they  resigned  ;  the  Duke 
has  meanwhile  assumed  the  reins  till  further  arrangements  can  he 
perfected,  and  despatches  are  now  preparing  to  bring  all  our  friends 

about  us.   The  only  rumors  as  yet  are,  L for  the  Colonies,  H 

to  the  Foreign  Office,  W President  of  the  Council,  and,  we  anx- 
iously hope,  yourself  Viceroy  in  Ireland.  In  any  case,  lose  no  time 
in  coming  back  to  England.  The  struggle  will  be  a  sharp  one,  as 
the  outs  are  distracted,  and  we  shall  want  you  much.     Ever  yours, 

my  dear  lord, 

Henry . 

"  This  is  much  sooner  than  I  looked  for,  Lorrequer,  — 
perhaps  almost  than  I  wished ;  but  as  it  has  taken  place, 
we  must  not  decline  the  battle.  Now,  what  I  wanted  with 
you  is  this  :  if  I  go  to  Ireland,  I  should  like  your  accep- 
tance of  the  Private  Secretary's  office.  Come,  come,  no  ob- 
jections ;  you  know  that  you  need  not  leave  the  army,  — 
you  can  become  unattached ;  I  '11  arrange  all  that.  A  propos, 
this  concerns  you,  —  it  is  from  the  Horse  Guards ;  you  need 
not  read  it  now,  though,  —  it  is  merely  your  gazette  to  the 
company.  Your  promotion,  however,  shall  not  stop  there. 
However,  the  important  thing  I  want  with  you  is  this :  I 
wish  you  to  start  for  England  to-morrow ;  circumstances 
prevent  my  going  from  this  for  a  few  days.     You  can  see 

L and  W ,  etc.,  and  explain  all  I  have  to  say ;  I 

shall  write  a  few  letters  and  some  hints  for  your  own  guid- 
ance ;  and  as  Kilkee  never  would  have  head  for  these  mat- 
ters, I  look  to  your  friendship  to  do  it  for  me." 

Looking  only  to  the  past,  as  the   proposal  suited  my 


276  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

already  made  resolve  to  quit  Munich,  I  acceded  at  once, 
and  assured  Lord  Callonby  that  I  should  be  ready  in  an 
hour. 

"  Quite  right,  Lorrequer,  but  still  I  shall  not  need  this  j 
you  cannot  leave  before  eleven  or  twelve  o'clock,  —  in  fact, 
I  have  another  service  to  exact  at  your  hands  before  we 
part  with  you.  Meanwhile,  try  and  get  some  sleep;  you 
are  not  likely  to  know  anything  of  a  bed  before  you  reach 
the  Clarendon." 

So  saying,  he  hurried  me  from  the  room,  and  as  he  closed 
the  door,  I  heard  him  muttering  his  satisfaction  that 
already,  so  far,  all  had  been  well  arranged. 


CHAPTEE  XXXII. 

CONCLUSION. 

Sleep  came  on  rae  without  my  feeling  it,  and  amid  all 
the  distracting  cares  and  pressing  thoughts  that  embarrassed 
me.  I  only  awoke  when  the  roll  of  the  caliche  sounded  be- 
neath my  window,  and  warned  me  that  I  must  be  stirring 
and  ready  for  the  road. 

"  Since  it  is  to  be  thus,"  thought  I,  "  it  is  much  better 
that  this  opportunity  should  occur  of  my  getting  away  at 
once,  and  thus  obviate  the  unpleasantness  of  any  future 
meeting  with  Lady  Jane,  and  the  thousand  conjectures  that 
my  departure,  so  sudden  and  unannounced,  might  give  rise 
to.  So  be  it;  and  I  have  now  only  one  hope  more,  —  that 
the  terms  we  last  parted  on  may  prevent  her  appearing  at 
the  breakfast-table."  With  these  words  I  entered  the  room 
where  the  Callonbys  were  assembled. 

"  This  is  too  provoking  really,  Mr.  Lorrequer,"  said  Lady 
Callonby,  with  her  sweetest  smile  and  most  civil  manner ; 
"  quite  too  bad  to  lose  you  now  that  you  have  just  joined  us." 

"Come,  no  tampering  with  our  party,"  said  Lord  Cal- 
lonby ;  "  my  friend  here  must  not  be  seduced  by  honeyed 
words  and  soft  speeches  from  the  high-road  that  leads  to 
honors  and  distinctions.  Now  for  your  instructions."  Here 
his  Lordship  entered  into  a  very  deep  discussion  as  to  the 
conditions  upon  which  his  support  might  be  expected  and 
relied  upon,  which  Kilkee  from  time  to  time  interrupted  by 
certain  quizzing  allusions  to  the  low  price  he  put  upon  his 
services,  and  suggested  that  a  mission  for  myself  should 
certainly  enter  into  the  compact. 

At  length  breakfast  was  over,  and  Lord  Callonby  said : 
"  Now  make  your  adieux,  and  let  me  see  you  for  a  moment 
in  Sir  Guy's  room ;  we  have  a  little  discussion  there,  in 


278  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

which  your  assistance  is  wanting."  I  accordingly  took  rny 
farewell  of  Lady  Callonby,  and  approached  to  do  so  to  Lady 
Jane  j  but,  much  to  my  surprise,  she  made  me  a  very  dis- 
tant salute,  and  said,  in  her  coldest  tone,  "  I  hope  you  may 
have  a  pleasant  journey."  Before  I  had  recovered  my  sur- 
prise at  this  movement,  Kilkee  came  forward  and  offered 
to  accompany  me  a  few  miles  of  the  road.  I  accepted  rea- 
dily the  kind  offer,  and  once  more  bowing  to  the  ladies, 
withdrew.  "And  thus  it  is,"  thought  I,  "that  I  leave  all 
my  long-dreamed-of  happiness,  and  such  is  the  end  of  many 
a  long  day's  ardent  expectation."  When  I  entered  my 
uncle's  room,  my  temper  was  certainly  not  in  the  mood 
most  fit  for  further  trials,  though  it  was  doomed  to  meet 
them. 

"  Harry,  my  boy,  we  are  in  a  great  want  of  you  here,  and 
as  time  presses,  we  must  state  our  case  very  briefly.     You 
are  aware,  Sir  Guy  tells  me,  that  your  cousin  Guy  has  been 
received  among  us  as  the  suitor  of  my  eldest  daughter.     It 
has  been  an  old  compact  between  us  to  unite  our  families 
by  ties  still  stronger  than  our  very  ancient  friendship,  and 
this  match  has  been  accordingly  looked  to  by  us  both  with 
much  anxiety.     Now,  although  on  our  parts  I  think  no  ob- 
stacle intervenes,  yet  I  am  sorry  to  say  there  appear  diffi- 
culties  in   other    quarters.     In   fact,  certain   stories   have 
reached  Lady  Jane's  ears   concerning  your  cousin  which 
have  greatly  prejudiced  her  against  him,  and  we  -have  rea- 
son to  think  most  unfairly  ;  for  we  have  succeeded  in  trac- 
ing some  of  the  offences  in  question,  not  to  Guy,  but  to  a 
Mr.  Morewood,  who,  it  seems,  has  personated  your  cousin 
upon  more  than  one  occasion,  and  not  a  little  to  his  disad- 
vantage.    Now,  we  wish  you  to  sift  these  matters  to  the 
bottom,  by  your  going  to  Paris  as  soon  as  you  can  venture 
to  leave  London.     Find  out  this  man,  and,  if  possible,  make 
all  straight.     If  money  is  wanting,  he  must  of  course  have 
it;   but  bear  one  thing  in  mind,  that   any   possible  step 
which   may    remove   this    unhappy  impression    from    my 
daughter's  mind  will  be  of  infinite  service,  and  never  forgot- 
ten by  us.     Kilkee,  too,  has  taken  some  dislike  to  Guy. 


CONCLUSION.  279 

You  have  only,  however,  to  talk  to  him  on  the  matter,  and 
he  is  sure  to  pay  attention  to  you." 

"  And,  Harry,"  said  my  uncle,  "  tell  Guy  I  am  much  dis- 
pleased that  he  is  not  here ;  I  expected  him  to  leave  Paris 
with  me,  but  some  absurd  wager  at  the  Jockey  Club  detained 
him." 

"  Another  thing,  Harry,  you  may  as  well  mention  to  your 
cousin,  —  that  Sir  Guy  has  complied  with  every  sugges- 
tion that  he  formerly  threw  out ;  he  will  understand  the 
allusion." 

"  Oh,  yes  ! "  said  my  uncle.  "  Tell  him  roundly  he  shall 
have  Elton  Hall.  I  have  fitted  up  Marsden  for  myself,  so 
no  difficulty  lies  in  that  quarter." 

"  You  may  add,  if  you  like,  that  my  present  position  with 
the  Government  enables  me  to  offer  him  a  speedy  prospect 
of  a  regiment,  and  that  I  think  he  had  better  not  leave  the 
army." 

"  And  say  that  by  next  post  Hamercloth's  bond  for  the 
six  thousand  shall  be  paid  off,  and  let  him  send  me  a  note 
of  any  other  large  sum  he  owes." 

"  And  above  all  things,  no  more  delays.  I  must  leave 
this  for  England  inevitably,  and  as  the  ladies  will  probably 
prefer  wintering  in  Italy  —  " 

"  Oh !  certainly,"  said  my  uncle ;  "  the  wedding  must 
take  place  at  once." 

"  I  scarcely  can  ask  you  to  come  to  us  on  the  occasion, 
though  I  need  not  say  how  greatly  we  should  all  feel  grati- 
fied if  you  could  do  so,"  said  my  lord. 

While  this  cross-fire  went  on  from  both'  sides,  I  looked 
from  one  to  the  other  of  the  speakers.  My  first  impression 
was  that,  having  perceived  and  disliked  my  attention  to 
Lady  Jane,  they  adopted  this  mauvaise  plaisanterie  as  a 
kind  of  smart  lesson  for  my  future  guidance.  My  next 
impression  was  that  they  were  really  in  earnest,  but  about 
the  very  stupidest  pair  of  old  gentlemen  that  ever  wore 
hair-powder. 

"  And  this  is  all  ?  "  said  I,  drawing  a  long  breath,  and  in- 
wardly uttering  a  short  prayer  for  patience. 


280  HARRY   LORREQUER. 

"  Why,  I  believe  I  have  mentioned  everything,"  said  Lord 
Callonby,  "  except  that  if  anything  occurs  to  yourself  that 
offers  a  prospect  of  forwarding  this  affair,  we  leave  you  a 
carte  blanche  to  adopt  it." 

"  Of  course,  then,"  said  I,  "  I  am  to  understand  that  as 
no  other  difficulties  lie  in  the  way  than  those  your  Lord- 
ship has  mentioned,  the  feelings  of  the  parties  —  their 
affections  —  are  mutual  ?  " 

"  Oh !  of  course ;  your  cousin,  I  suppose,  has  made  him- 
self agreeable.  He  is  a  good-looking  fellow,  and,  in  fact, 
I  am  not  aware  why  they  should  not  like  each  other,  eh, 
Sir  Guy  ?  " 

"  To  be  sure ;  and  the  Elton  estates  run  half  the  shire 
with  your  Gloucestershire  property.  Never  was  there  a 
more  suitable  match." 

"  Then  only  one  point  remains,  and  that  being  complied 
with,  you  may  reckon  upon  my  services,  —  nay,  more ;  I 
promise  you  success.  Lady  Jane's  own  consent  must  be 
previously  assured  to  me ;  without  this,  I  must  positively 
decline  moving  a  step  in  the  matter:  that  once  obtained, 
freely  and  without  constraint,  I  pledge  myself  to  do  all  you 
require." 

"Quite  fair,  Harry;  I  perfectly  approve  of  your  scru- 
ples."    So  saying,  his  Lordship  rose  and  left  the  room. 

"  Well,  Harry,  and  yourself,  —  what  is  to  be  done  for 
you  ?     Has  Callonby  offered  you  anything  yet  ?  " 

"  Yes,  sir,  his  Lordship  has  most  kindly  offered  me  the 
under-secretaryship  in  Ireland ;  but  I  have  resolved  on  de- 
clining it,  though  I  shall  not  at  present  say  so,  lest  he 
should  feel  any  delicacy  in  employing  me  upon  the  present 
occasion." 

"Why,  is  the  boy  deranged?  Decline  it!  What  have 
you  got  in  the  world  that  you  should  refuse  such  an 
appointment  ?  " 

The  color  mounted  to  my  cheeks,  my  temples  burned, 
and  what  I  should  have  replied  to  this  taunt  I  know  not,  for 
passion  had  completely  mastered  me.  When  Lord  Callonby 
again  entered  the  room,  his  usually  calm  and  pale  face  was 


CONCLUSION.  281 

agitated  and  flushed,  and  his  manner  tremulous  and  hurried. 
For  an  instant  he  was  silent;  then,  turning  towards  my 
uncle,  he  took  his  hand  affectionately  and  said,  — . 

"  My  good  old  friend,  I  am  deeply,  deeply  grieved ;  but  we 
must  abandon  this  scheme.  I  have  just  seen  my  daughter, 
and  from  the  few  words  which  we  have  had  together,  I  find 
that  her  dislike  to  the  match  is  invincible,  and,  in  fact,  she 
has  obtained  my  promise  never  again  to  allude  to  it.  If  I 
were  willing  to  constrain  the  feelings  of  my  child,  you  your- 
self would  not  permit  it.  So  here  let  us  forget  that  we 
ever  hoped  for,  ever  calculated  on,  a  plan  in  which  both  our 
hearts  were  so  deeply  interested." 

These  words,  few  as  they  were,  were  spoken  with  deep 
feeling,  and  for  the  first  time  I  looked  upon  the  speaker 
with  sincere  regard.  They  were  both  silent  for  some 
minutes.  Sir  Guy,  who  was  himself  much  agitated,  spoke 
first. 

"  So  be  it  then,  Callonby,  and  thus  do  I  relinquish  one  — 
perhaps  the  only  —  cheering  prospect  my  advanced  age  held 
out  to  me.  I  have  long  wished  to  have  your  daughter  for 
my  niece,  and  since  I  have  known  her,  the  wish  has  in- 
creased tenfold." 

"  It  was  the  chosen  dream  of  all  my  anticipations,"  said 
Lord  Callonby;  "and  now  Jane's  affections  only —  But 
let  it  pass." 

"  And  is  there  then  really  no  remedy  ?  Can  nothing  be 
thought  of  ?  " 

"  Nothing." 

"  I  am  not  quite  so  sure,  my  lord,"  said  I,  tremulously. 

"  No,  no,  Lorrequer ;  you  are  a  ready  witted  fellow,  I 
know,  but  this  passes  even  your  ingenuity.  Besides,  I  have 
given  her  my  word." 

"  Even  so." 

"  Why,  what  do  you  mean  ?  Speak  out,  man,"  said  Sir 
Guy.  "  I  '11  give  you  ten  thousand  pounds  on  the  spot  if 
you  suggest  a  means  of  overcoming  this  difficulty." 

"  Perhaps  you  might  not  accede  afterwards." 


282  HAllUY  LORREQUER. 

"  I  pledge  myself  to  it." 

"And  I  too/'  said  Lord  Callonby,  "if  no  unfair  strata- 
gem be  resorted  to  towards  my  daughter.  If  she  only  give 
her  free  and  willing  consent,  I  agree." 

"  Then  you  must  bid  higher,  uncle ;  ten  thousand  won't 
do,  for  the  bargain  is  well  worth  the  money." 

"  Name  your  price,  boy,  and  keep  your  word." 

"Agreed,  then.  Holding  my  uncle  to  his  promise,  I 
pledge  myself  that  his  nephew  shall  be  the  husband  of 
Lady  Jane  Callonby.  And  now,  my  lord,  write  Harry,  vice 
Guy,  in  the  contract,  and  I  am  certain  my  uncle  is  too  faith- 
ful to  his  plighted  word,  and  too  true  to  his  promise,  not  to 
say  it  shall  be." 

The  suddenness  of  this  rash  declaration  absolutely  stunned 
them  both ;  and  then,  recovering  at  the  same  moment,  their 
eyes  met. 

"  Fairly  caught,  Guy ! "  said  Lord  Callonby.  "  A  bold 
stroke,  if  it  only  succeed." 

"  And   it   shall,  by  G ,"  said  my  uncle ;  "  Elton'  is 

yours,  Harry.  And  with  seven  thousand  a  year,  and  my 
nephew  to  boot,  Callonby  won't  refuse  you." 

There  are  moments  in  life  in  which  conviction  will  follow 
a  bold  coup  de  main  that  never  would  have  ensued  from  the 
slow  process  of  reasoning.  Luckily  for  me,  this  was  one  of 
those  happy  intervals.  Lord  Callonby,  catching  my  uncle's 
enthusiasm,  seized  me  by  the  hand  and  said, — 

"With  her  consent,  Lorrequer,  you  may  count  upon 
mine ;  and  faith,  if  truth  must  be  told,  I  always  preferred 
you  to  the  other  !  " 

What  my  uncle  added,  I  waited  not  to  listen  to,  but  with 
one  bound  sprang  from  the  room,  dashed  upstairs  to  Lady 
Callonby's  drawing-room,  looked  rapidly  around  to  see  if 
she  were  there,  and  then,  without  paying  the  slightest  at- 
tention to  the  questions  of  Lady  Callonby  and  her  youngest 
daughter,  was  turning  to  leave  the  room,  when  my  eye 
caught  the  nutter  of  a  cashmere  shawl  in  the  garden  be- 
neath.    In  an  instant  the  window  was  torn  open,  I  stood 


CONCLUSION.  283 

upon  the  sill,  and  though  the  fall  was  some  twenty  feet, 
with  one  spring  I  took  it,  and  before  the  ladies  had  recov- 
ered from  their  first  surprise  at  my  unaccountable  conduct, 
put  the  finishing  stroke  to  their  amazement  by  throwing 
my  arms  around  Lady  Jane  and  clasping  her  to  my  heart. 

I  cannot  remember  by  what  process  I  explained  the 
change  that  had  taken  place  in  my  fortunes.  I  have  some 
very  vague  recollection  of  vows  of  eternal  love  being  min- 
gled with  praises  of  my  worthy  uncle  ;  and  the  state  of  my 
affections  and  finances  were  jumbled  up  together,  but  still 
sufficiently  intelligible  to  satisfy  my  beloved  Jane  that  this 
time,  at  least,  I  made  love  with  something  more  than  my 
own  consent  to  support  me.  Before  we  had  walked  half 
round  the  garden  she  had  promised  to  be  mine,  and  Harry 
Lorrequer,  who  rose  that  morning  with  nothing  but  de- 
spair and  darkness  before  him,  was  now  the  happiest  of 
men. 

Dear  reader,  I  have  little  more  to  confess.  Lord  Cal- 
lonby's  politics  were  fortunately  deemed  of  more  moment 
than  maidenly  scruples,  and  the  treasury  benches  more  re- 
spected than  the  trousseau.  Our  wedding  was  therefore 
settled  for  the  following  week.  Meanwhile  every  day 
seemed  to  teem  with  its  own  meed  of  good  fortune.  My 
good  uncle,  under  whose  patronage,  forty  odd  years  before, 
Colonel  Kamworth  had  obtained  his  commission,  undertook 
to  effect  the  reconciliation  between  him  and  the  Wallers, 
who  now  only  waited  for  our  wedding  before  they  set  out 
for  Hydrabad  Cottage,  that  snug  receptacle  of  curry  and 
Madeira,  Jack  confessing  that  he  would  rather  listen  to  the 
siege  of  Java  by  that  fireside  than  hear  an  account  of 
Waterloo  from  the  lips  of  the  Great  Duke  himself. 

I  wrote  to  Trevanion  to  invite  him  over  to  Munich  for 
the  ceremony,  and  the  same  post  which  informed  me  that  he 
was  en  route  to  join  us,  brought  also  a  letter  from  my  eccen- 
tric friend  O'Leary,  which,  his  name  having  so  often  occurred 
in  these  "  Confessions,"  I  am  tempted  to  read  aloud,  — the 
more  so  as  its  contents  are  no  secret,  Kilkee  having  insisted 


284  HARRY  LORREQUER. 

upon  reading  it  to  a  committee  of  the  whole  family  assem- 
bled after  dinner. 

Dear  Lorrequer,  —  The  trial  is  over,  and  I  am  acquitted,  but 
still  in  Sainte-Pelagie  ;  for  as  the  Government  were  determined  to  cut 
my  head  off  if  guilty,  so  the  mob  resolved  to  murder  me  if  innocent. 
A  pleasant  situation  this  I  Before  the  trial  I  was  the  most  popular 
man  in  Paris,  my  face  was  in  every  print-shop,  plaster  busts  of  me, 
with  a  great  organ  behind  the  ear,  in  all  the.  thoroughfares,  and  my 
autograph  selling  at  six-and-twenty  sous,  and  a  lock  of  my  hair  at 
five  francs.  Now  that  it  is  proved  I  did  not  murder  the  minister 
at  war  (who  is  in  excellent  health  and  spirits),  the  popular  feeling 
against  me  is  very  violent,  and  I  am  looked  upon  as  an  impostor 
who  had  obtained  his  notoriety  under  false  pretences,  and  Vernet, 
who  had  begun  my  picture  for  a  Judas,  has  left  off  in  disgust.  Your 
friend  Trevanion  is  a  trump  ;  he  procured  a  Tipperary  gentleman 
to  run  away  with  Mrs.  Ram,  and  they  were  married  at  Frankfort  on 
Tuesday  last.  By  the  by,  what  an  escape  you  had  of  Emily !  She 
was  only  quizzing  you  all  the  time.  She  is  engaged  to  be  married 
to  Tom  O'Flaherty,  who  is  here  now.  Emily's  imitation  of  you, 
with  the  hat  a  little  on  one  side  and  a  handkerchief  nourishing 
away  in  one  hand,  is  capital ;  but  when  she  kneels  down  and  says, 
"Dearest  Emily,"  etc.,  you'd  swear  it  was  yourself.  [Here  the 
laughter  of  the  auditory  prevented  Kilkee  proceeding,  who,  to  my 
utter  confusion,  resumed  after  a  little  :]  Don't  be  losing  your  time 
making  up  to  Lord  Callonby's  daughter  [here  came  another  burst  of 
laughter]  ;  they  say  here  you  have  not  a  chance,  and,  moreover,  she  's 
a  downright  flirt.  ["It  is  your  turn  now,  Jane,"  said  Kilkee,  scarcely 
able  to  proceed.]  Besides  that,  her  father's  a  pompous  old  Tory, 
that  won't  give  a  sixpence  with  her;  and  the  old  curmudgeon  your 
uncle  has  as  much  idea  of  providing  for  you  as  he  has  of  dying. 
[This  last  sally  absolutely  convulsed  all  parties.]  To  be  sure,  Kil- 
kee's  a  fool,  but  he  is  no  use  to  you.  ["Begad,  I  thought  I  was 
going  to  escape,"  said  the  individual  alluded  to  ;  "  but  your  friend 
O'Leary  cuts  on  every  side  of  him."] 

The  letter,  after  some  very  grave  reflections  upon  the 
hopelessness  of  my  pursuit,  concluded  with  a  kind  pledge 
to  meet  me  soon  and  become  my  travelling  companion. 
"  Meanwhile,"  added  the  writer,  "  I  must  cross  over  to 
London  and  look  after  my  new  work,  which  is  to  come 


CONCLUSION.  285 

out  soon,  under  the  title  of    '  The  Loiterings  of  Arthur 
O'Leary.' " 

This  elegant  epistle  formed  the  subject  of  much  laughter 
and  conversation  amongst  us  long  after  it  was  concluded, 
and  little  triumph  could  be  claimed  by  any  party,  where 
nearly  all  were  so  roughly  handled.  So  passed  the  last 
evening  I  spent  in  Munich.  The  next  morning  I  was 
married. 


THE  END. 


THE   COMEDIE    HUMAINE   OF 
HON  ORE  DE  BALZAC 


CENT  EN  ART 
EDITION 


Translated  by  Katharine  Prescott 
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9 

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